All language subtitles for So long 1973--

This is the story
of a time long ago.

A time of myth and legend,

when the earth
was still young.

The ancient gods
were petty and cruel,

and they played mankind
for their sport.

Aaaagh!

Plaguing them with suffering,

besieging them with terrors.

For centuries, the people
had nowhere to turn,

no one to look to for help.

Until... he arrived.

He was man
like no other.

Born of a beautiful
mortal woman,

but fathered by Zeus,
king of the gods.

Hercules possessed strength
the world had never seen,

a strength surpassed
only by the power of his heart.

But everywhere he went he was
tormented by his stepmother,

Hera, the all-powerful
queen of the gods.

Hera's eternal obsession
was to destroy Hercules,

for he was the constant
living reminder of Zeus' infidelity.

No matter the obstacle,

as long as there were people
crying for help,

there was one man
who would never rest:

Hercules.

87, 88, 89, 90.

Hey, do you think
we're going the right way.

Shush, I'm counting.

93, 94, 95, 96, 97, 98, 99, 100.

15 paces to the north.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10.

11, 12, 13, 14, 15.

Nothing.

We did go the wrong way,
you were had.

Hah, see, Danian. And you said
I was stupid trading for this map.

Come on!

Wow! Just think, the great God,
Zeus was once here.

This very place.

His address is going to be ours now.

We're going to be rich.

Rich as the gods,
here give me that.

- This is it!
- It's really true.

It's unbelievable.

Come on!

This treasure is practically ours.

Wait a minute. Hold on.

Come here!

No, hold on.

What? We're almost there.

If you we're going to build
a door to keep people out.

Where would you put the locks?

What do you mean?

I think this door was made
to keep something in.

Aghhh!

Let go!

Hey! Hey! What's going on here?

I told you two before. No fighting.

- But you fight, Dad.
- Yeah, all the time.

But that's different, I only fight
when I have to, and

I do it keep people
from getting hurt.

- Do you understand?
- Yeah.

Okay. It's like this. Remember when
Eryx the boxer came to town.

He'd beaten up a lot of men.

He was ready to beat up
on some more.

- Who's next?
- Not I, sir.

What about you? Or you? Huh?

What about you?

- What about me?
- It's about time.

It was me you wanted, you didn't have
to kill al these innocent men.

I had to find some way
to amuse myself.

You had look like the
strongest man in the world.

- Sorry to let you down.
- It doesn't matter. Your days are over!

Then let's stop talking
and start fighting.

Son, you should have seen
that last one coming!

Put your left up and jab!
Jab! Come on!

- That your boy?
- No, no, I'm just a spectator.

Come on! Pump one, left!

Oh, now he's got him.
Now he's got him!

- Ooh!
- He won't keep his left up.

- Enough games, Hercules.
- I agree. Let's finish this.

Ohh, watch. Watch, watch.

- You a fighter?
- Me a fighter? No, I just--

I just fight with the devil sometimes!

Right. Right!

Oh, he's going better, eh?

Yes!

So now you know
what I mean, don't you?

Yeah.

You only fight when you have to.

And never with your own brother,

Now, shake hands.

That's better. Come on, you two!

Ha ha ha!

Alright. Where are you?

Father, where are you?

Son, right here.

Oh, I've just come back from the
two most wonderful weeks of my life.

When was the the last time
you had some fun?

Oh, it's been a long time.

Ah, no-one's come
for my help for sometime.

I guess all the monsters and giants
are gone, I've beat them all up.

Yeah, yeah. Son, do you miss it?

- Honestly.
- Honestly?

Yeah, I do! I miss it a lot.

You know, I promise Deianeira,
I'd be here to raise the kids with her.

Absolutely.

I love kids, I love Deianeira,
I mean everything is perfect.

I've setted down.

I'm a thousand years older,
and I'm not settled down.

Hey, why don't you come
and say hello to the children?

No, no. I have an appointment.

Is that appointment, blonde?

Oh, by the way. I picked this
up on the beach at Salonia.

That's a scale from a seaserpent.

Yes, just to keep time.
Then the shores of Salona

won't be as far off as you think.

It's beautiful. Why...

It's my protector, Hercules.

Some protector.

This way.

Hold on. I'll come back for you.

Hercules, there's something in here!

No!

Did you kill it? Did you kill it?
Is it dead? Is it dead?

It's dead!
We've got to get outta here!

Give me your hand.

Hercules.

Hercules, Hercules.

Hercules, um, are you going
to want to eat his food later?

Hey! Get out of here!

Sometimes, I think you've been
hit on the head one too many times.

Daddy's got hit on the head
too many times.

You think so, huh?

Eat.

Ah, getting heavy.

Alright, you guys, get in bed now.

Tell us a story, Dad.

Yeah, tell us a story.

Yeah. A story.

A story, I don't know any stories.

Yeah, you do!

I do?

I want the one
about the great lion.

That's a good one.

What about the time you fought
the two headed giant?

That's scary.

I want the story
where you first met Mummy.

Alright, but first, imagine what it
would be like if one day

we had no fire none at all,
it's just gone,

because that's what was
happening in your Mum's town.

Hercules, just let us come on.
Our fires have died,

yours are still going,
just let us in.

I said no, so be gone.
Get away from here, all fo you.

But these people are desperate.

You have to let us have
some of your fire.

We don't have to do
anything of the kind.

All right, look.

Just let me light this,
and I'll restart their fires.

I can't help you. This fire
is for the Great Goddess Hera.

Some Great Goddess!
She's not lifting a finger to help.

None of your damn gods do!

You can't come in.

All right... what if I pay?

Exactly what have you got in mind?

I'm thinking, uh... a hundred dinars.

- Fifty dinars.
- Fifty dinars?

- All right, fine, 50 dinars.
- No, w-wait. I said--

- You said 50 dinars.
- I-I did, but I wasn't agreeing to 50 dinars.

- Okay, fine, then 30 dinars.
- I didn't say 30, I said 50.

Do you think of yourself
as an intelligent man?

Well, I like to think so, yeah.

Well, then you would think that
20 dinars would be a good deal.

- No, wait, wait.
- Fine, 20 dinars it is.

You drive a hard bargain.

You can keep your money. These
fools don't deserve a single dinar.

I'll get the fire you need.

Excuse me? I thought I was doing
a pretty good job here.

What do you propose to do?

Hera's vermin keep warm
while everyone else is cold.

That's not gonna work.

Stop! This is sacrilege!

I'm gonna light this from you fire.

If that bothers you,
then look the other way.

What are you doing?
You have to talk to these people.

You need to negotiate with them.

Where Hera's scum are concerned,
this is negotiating.

I hit them, they hit the floor,
deal's done.

Now, if you excuse me,
I'll be right back with your fire.

You have defiled the
sanctity of Hera's temple.

I don't know who you are, but
you're not getting out of here alive.

Then you're right...
you don't know who I am.

Kill him!

What are you waiting for?

You angered the gods.

Oops.

All of you! Kill him!

Here you go. No trouble at all.

And that was only the beginning of it.

From there your mother
and I travelled together.

We went to see Prometheus and...

- Hi!
- Hi!

I guess all the thrills
were too much for them.

I enjoyed it.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

Come on, let's go to bed.

Okay.

You miss it, don't you?

Miss what?

All the travelling around
and fighting beasts.

I saw the way you were
telling the kids that story.

It doesn't mean I'm not
happy here. You know that.

I know that.

It's just for some reason
I can't thinking

about all the journeys I went on
and all the things I've fought for.

I guess I get a little lost in it.

Well, you have a lot to get lost in.

You've had so many adventures.

And if your lucky you might
have another adventure tonight.

- Is that right?
- That's right!

- How are you, Hercules?
- Ha ha ha!

Iolaus, what are you doing here?

Oh, you know, I was on my way
to Prodraya to get some seed,

and I couldn't pass up the
chance to dropin on my old pal.

Oh, thank you, I appreciate it.

Well, yeah.

Things look pretty good for you here.

Oh, things are pretty good for me.

I've got some stuff coming
up over there and

I've got some new things
planted over here,

and it's all turning
out pretty green.

How about you?
How are your crops doing.

Well, not too good. Oh, I can't
get the hang of this manure thing.

- Oh!
- It's either too much or not enough.

Yeah, yeah. I know! I can't figure
out what to do with manure either.

Do you mash it in.

No, I kinda spread it
all around, you know.

Maybe I should mash it in
and find it works.

When I do it, I just.

What the hell are we talking about?

I've no idea.

Oh, let's go up to the house
and get something

we don't give a damn about.

Maybe I'm not cut out
to be a farmer?

I mean how excited can you
get about something

coming up from the ground?

You can't. Unless it's got
a mouth full of fangs

and it's trying to bite
your face off.

Remember that Hydra?

Get back, Iolaus!

Don't, Iolaus. Don't provoke it.

What are you doing?

- Look out!
- Aaaargh!

Come on.

Come on, let's get out of here.

- This thing stinks.
- Yeah.

- What the hell was that?
- Ania the day after you marry her.

Hey!

Iolaus, grab that torch.

- But the gods, they'll be angry.
- Just get it!

Iolaus, the torch. Quick give it to me.

Boy, I tell you what, Hercules,
that fight with

the Hydra was
pretty something, huh?

You know, I wouldn't trade
those times for anything.

Yeah, well, I guess when you got a
good friend, you get through a lot.

Well, thanks, you know,
I'll always be that friend.

Well, actually,
I was talking about me.

I was the friend that got
you through a lot. Okay?

- Iolaus, don't!
- What?

You know what. Anything we are
apart from each other you

show up here thinking
you can beat me.

Well, maybe this time I can.

See, that's exactly what
I'm talking about.

No, no. Seriously, listen,
I've been talking to this guy

from the East. He taught me
all the new fighting techniques.

How a smaller guy
can beat a bigger guy.

All you've got to do is be clever.

Oh, that's counts you out.

Yeah... no...

Okay, you can joke all
you want, but your scared.

It's not going to work.
I'm not fighting you.

Ah! so, Hercules,
a little scared, huh?

Iolaus, listen to me. There's no way
I'm going to fall for this, okay?

I'm not going to fight you.

Alright, let's see these new moves.

Okay.

Actually, you have to attack me.

What are you talking about?

These are defensive moves,
you've got to come at me.

Come on.

Didn't touch me.

What do you think?

Yeah... I think you're a dead man.

Whoa!

I've got a move for
anything you do.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

Well, what if I do this.

Oh... No...

Well, I hope you learnt some
Eastern swimming techniques.

Mummy, what's Daddy
doing to Uncle Iolaus?

I don't know, sweetie. I was
wondering the same thing myself.

Well, we were just, um...

Hey, what are you doing up so late?
You should be sleep.

She was sleeping until
somebody woke her up.

Oh, well... uh...
then back to bed we go.

Come on!

How many times have
I told you not to beat up Hercules.

- Who me?
- Yes you.

Well, I had a couple of moves
I wanted to try.

He's just lucky you arrived
when you did that all.

Yeah, we're lucky you
showed up when you did too.

What do you mean?

He's been so distracted lately,
it's like he's going stir crazy

just being around the house.

Well, I know what that's like.
You know, I would never have

thought it was so difficult
being a father and a mother.

And would be so proud of you.

I just wish she could
see me, you know.

Come here!

Hercules, Hercules!

Are you Hercules?

Ah, no. I'm a--

I'm Hercules.

Ah, look, you've got to come
with me, you're the only one.

Calm down. What happened?

They got my brother.

What?

It was a monster of some kind.

Did you see it?

Yes, sort of, but it was dark.

What happened to your brother?

I don't know, it was horrible,
then it came after me

and I barely to Eltrain and
save my brother.

I, uh, I think my place is here
I'm afraid I can't help you.

What? You've got to.
You're the only one.

I'm sorry, I can't.

I'm sorry.

But you're Hercules.

Why did you tell him no?

What do you mean.
I've settled down now.

I know, but you're
thinking maybe you should go.

I don't know what I am thinking.

Turning him down was really hard
on me, part of me was saying go.

Of course it was,
because that's who you are.

No, that's who I was. I've got you
and the kids to think about now.

You're never going
to be happy that way.

You're Hercules, don't try
to change that, not for me,

not for the kids. You'd only
be lying to yourself.

So you think I should go?

The way you've been acting lately,
you need to go.

Have I been that bad.

No... You've been worse.

You didn't have to come you know.

Well, what was I going to do?

Stay home and plant another
row of cabbages. Come on.

Besides, somebody's got to
be there to bail you out.

- Bail me out?
- Huh, huh.

But you?

Hey, laugh all you want,
but you know it's true.

Remember that time
we went to Phenia.

Easily not the way
you remember it.

Okay, what about the time
Harris priest jumped you at Talladon.

You were in a lot of
trouble when I arrived.

I wasn't in any trouble
until you arrived.

You started it all remember.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

Okay, here's one.
The Sea Snake in Thrace.

You were up to your neck
in slime, buddy,

until I guess who arrived
to save the day.

Alright. Alright.
I admit it. You saved the day.

See, I'm always there
when you need me. Hercules.

So where were you the time
I had to face Gargon, the giant?

Please. Anything you want.

I want Hercules!

Hercules? There's no Hercules here.

What would Hercules be doing
in a crummy place like this?

Then I kill everybody.

I'm Hercules.
What can I do for you?

You are Hercules?

I didn't come all this way
to kill something as small as you.

Fine by me.

Look, why don't you sit down,
have some stew.

First, you. Then, stew.

Come on, little man.

Be careful.

You know,
this really isn't necessary.

Oh, yes, it is.

Look! You don't have to do this--

Looks like Hercules has
finally met his match.

I beg your pardon, sir.
I don't think so.

- What do you know, old man?
- Oh, I know about these things.

Maybe we do have to do this.

Now I kill you!

Now what a second, Hercules.

Wait, what's all this about him
swanning you around.

The last time I heard the story
you said you knocked him cold,

he didn't touch you.

Oh, well, I guess I forgot
about that part.

Ah! Ah! Ah!

I've had a lot of fights it's hard to
remember every details of everyone.

Yeah, I bet it's hard
to remember many things.

When you've taken as many
punches as you have.

Oh! Laugh it off, laugh it off.

The best fighting I've ever seen
you do, is fighting to pick

yourself up off the ground.

Hey, anyway, I hope what
we meet in Altuna is big

and stupid enough to want
to test our skills.

Somebody help me!

Come on!

Help me!

That's not funny!

You should have seem
the look on your face.

All eager and ready for action.

Yeah, well a bit of
action would be nice.

I mean farmings all very well but.

I thought you guys
had settled down?

Well, some guy came asking
for help, am I supposed to say "No"?

No. I suppose not.
You love to help people.

But ah, you've got a look
on your face, healthy,

I haven't seen such spirit
in you since we squared

off on Mount Ethia, I wasn't
so pleased to see it then.

Stop. Go back.

- Get out of way.
- Don't you move!

I told you to go back!

I'm going in there.

You may be the strongest man
in the world.

But remember, I am still...
the King of the Gods.

- Hercules.
- Stay back.

Get back to the cave!

Don't do this.

You are pushing me, boy.

The next one will not be
aimed at your feet.

You could really kill me, couldn't you?

I am trying to save you.
Why can't you understand?

The lives of all those people.

I care about people.

It so happens...
I care more about you.

Father.

I love you too.

But I... still have to do this.

So I saved my son's life for about
the hundredth time. Right?

You know, it's funny! Becasue
when Hercules tells that story

it's always the other way around.

Oh, I'm sure, sure.

Hey, Iolaus, I think I owe you this.

You've got some change
coming pal.

Ooh, I'm scared, I'm scared.

You've got kids yourselves.

Yeah, that's with kids,
it's funny, isn't it?

Not when you go to change
them and they spray in your face.

Ah, there is nothing greater
in creation than kids.

Then they grop up,
and they become problems.

You know, I don't remember
the ground being so darn hard.

You're getting old.

So many bugs,

Why bugs any way?

Because birds love to eat them.

I do everything for a reason.

Say, Hades is giving a party tonight
and I think we'd have a wonderful time.

Let's go, would you like that?

No, we have to get up early
to make it to Alturia by tomorrow.

- Alturia?
- Yeah.

Yeah, there's some kind of
monster on the loose there

and we're going to kick it's butt.

You know, I wouldn't go to Alturia.

- Why not?
- I don't know!

I was there a couple of
months ago, the food was bad.

The food was bad?

Alturia is the spice capitar
of the world.

Yeah, spice eats up your stomach.

We're still going, besides your the
one who said I need an adventure.

And this is it.

Well, I have to go to Hades.
He won't likes it if I don't

show up, you have a nice time,
and you have a nice adventure.

Where are you taking me?

Away - no-one's going to
keep is apart anymore.

Not your father,
not my fahter, not anybody.

But you should have told me.
I would have packed something.

Like what?

Some clothes maybe.

What do we need clothes for?

Come on, let's stop all this talking.

Oh, look, this looks
like a good place.

Come on!

Grrr!

Why are you breathing so loud?

Not me, I thought it was you.

Grr!

What are you?

What am I? The next ruler
of this world. That's what I am.

Why are you doing this to us?

Oh, don't worry yourself,
soon you will come back

reneived without
all these questions.

Ready to do exactly
as I command.

Oh, it's good.

You know, this town doesn't
seem so upset.

You mean for a town that's
supposedly plagued by a monster.

Exactly.

Yeah, it doesn't look too upset.

Excuse me, this is Alturia, isn't it?

Always has been.

Well, we were told there was
something terrible happening here.

Like a monster.

Where did you hear that?

A Man from here,
he came to my home

Saying his brother had been
taken by some sort of beast.

His brother, huh.
What does this guy look like?

- Well?
- Well, he's about this tall,

all kind of wirey, dark, hair.

You came all this way for nothing.

The one you met is Dannius,
his brother Andius,

they're the town idiots.
And if your stupid enough

to believe in anything they told you,
then your idiots too.

Ah, thank you! Man!

Hey, everybody,
guess what I just heard.

Dannius says that
there's a monster in town.

It didn't seem like
he was kidding.

Yeah, he did look kind
of crazy though.

Well, I guess that takes
care of that.

Yep.

So, what now?

How about I buy you a drink?

Ah, well, only if
I can buy you one.

Okay.

Well, well, well. Of all the
people in the world,

so Hercules is finally here.
Being a hero,

son of Zeus, you have no idea
what it feels like to be reviled, do you?

To be spit upon,
like I've been, but you will.

At my hand you will learn fear.
You will learn humiliation.

You will learn death.

Oh, so you came. I knew it was
only a matter of time.

What you haven't seen me
in over a hundred years

and this is your greeting.
Maybe your shy.

Did you forget what
you turned me into?

Did you forget what a vile
beast you made me?

Fitting punishment, I'd say?

You'd say? You'd say?
And who are you to say?

You haven't changed, have you?

Being locked away in this
place hasn't taught you anything.

Oh, but it has, I've learnt
the power of hate.

I've lived on it.
I've grown stronger on it.

I should have killed you then.

So do it now!

You can't do it, can you?
Not then and not now.

I'll leave you down here
for another hundred years.

Go ahead, every day in here
I get bigger every day I get stronger,

can't you see this won't end.
Not until I have what I want.

What do you want?

To see you suffer, to make you
drink as much pain and

misery as you poured down
my throat.

You can't touch me,
and you know it.

Oh, don't be so sure.

Couple of ales please.

You got money?

Yeah, we got money.

Then you've got ale.

I've never seen you before.
I like that in a man.

You two have names?

Yeah, I'm Iolaus,
this is my friend Hercules.

Oh, another Hercules, huh?

What do you mean by that?
Another Hercules?

Oh, come on! We get five of you
guys a week in here claiming

to be Hercules.
Every idiot with half a brain.

That's what they did to
the last one.

You better keep it to yourself.
You're not real big.

I'd hate to see what
they do to you.

Well, thanks, for the advice.

Hey! Wait a minute!
This really is Hercules.

So he's got you fooled, huh?
You must be a bright one.

Oh, no! This really is him.

I've been on all sorts of
adventures with this guy.

A bunch of them.

Oh, really? Like what?

Well, like there was this time, that
a guy came to see us from Gargorecia.

You know this village of his was

being attacked by all
these savage beasts,

no-one knew where
they came from.

Where are these beasts?

I hope we haven't come
all this way for nothing.

- Be patient. We'll find them.
- Yeah, yeah.

Hey!

What do you think?
Some kind of warning?

Maybe it's just way
these beasts have fun.

Over there.

Keep your eyes open, Iolaus.

They're watching us right now.
I can feel it.

Me too.

Well, Iolaus,
you wanted an adventure.

- Where'd my sword go?
- Who needs a sword? Forget it.

- Yeah, thanks.
- Hold on.

- Be careful, Iolaus.
- No, be reckless.

Careful dies, reckless kills.

Fantastic, aren't they?

Ow!

No, Iolaus. Stay at my back.

I've heard enough of this crap.

So, we've got another one,
huh, another hero in our midst.

Don't say I didn't warn you.

Hey, everyone, guess what?
This is Hercules.

An honour to meet you, Hercules.

And you are?

My name is Triconus.

It's nice to meet you.

Yeah.

Do you know what?
I don't think you're really Hercules.

I think you're a dirty,
stinking rotten liar.

If you don't mind,
I'll finish my drink in peace.

I really doubt that.

Listen, pal, you got a problem
with Hercules,

you got a problem with me.

Then I guess you've got a
lot of problems.

Why don't you show this guy
how they fight in the East?

Okay.

That was okay.

Herc, watch this.

- Iolaus, you alright?
- Yeah, I'm great!

You and me,
we're not over yet.

Yes, we are.

No, I'm going to smash your head
until your brains come out.

Really?

Really.

Do you have any rooms
to rent in this place?

Yeah, we do.

Take two.

This time, Hercules dies.

I don't care if he is
real damn Hercules,

I'm gonna show him how
we run things in this town.

And I've got his first
lession right here.

Hercules is mine! Remember that,
you can get your fun

by kicking the crap out
of that runt friend of his--

- Aghh!
- Aghh!

Who's there?

By the gods, he's massacred them.

We've got to do something,
what are we going to do?

No, look, I didn't have
anything to do with this.

Why did Hercules kill them?

Why did you do it, Hercules?

I didn't kill them.

You're going to pay for this.
Pay with your life.

I told you, I didn't do this.

Then who did, huh?

I've no idea.

Well, we do! Give him justice.

What's going on?

Iolaus, wake up now!

Eh, what, can't we talk
about it some more.

No, We've got trouble.

Good trouble?

Bad trouble.

Little trouble?

Big trouble.

What the hells going on?

I've no idea, but I'm not
waiting around to find out.

Kill Hercules!

Is there a back door
in this place?

No, there isn't.

There is now.

My wall!

Kill Hercules!

All I can hear is
"let's get Hercules".

I don't hear
anything about, Iolaus.

This is not good.

Out the back,
he's getting away out the back.

They went down here.

Kill Hercules!

Like I told you before.
You're all making a big mistake.

It's you who made the
mistake, Hercules.

When you butchered those men.

I'm warning you.
I haven't hurt anybody yet,

but I'm telling you to turn
around and go home now

or that's going to hurt you.

Yeah!

Help me! Help me!

Hercules!

Hercules!

Now do you believe me?

Do you know where
this thing lives?

Yeah.

Then take me there.

It's this way!

Father?

Hercules.

What are you doing here?

I need to talk to you, son.

But Hercules, come on,
we've got to go!

It's alright, it's okay,
I'll be right there!

Father, I don't have time, something
has got Iolaus, I've gotta get--

He won't kill Iolaus.
He wants to kill you.

How would you know that?

Because I know what's down there.
A monsterous beast.

What have you seen
this thing before?

He was a wonderful child.
As a man,

what a handsome Adonis,
became his curse.

What curse?

He had a lot of follwers,
trying to turn him

against the gods,
against each other,

anyone who resisted,
he murdered.

So why is he after me?

He's not, he's after me for
what I did to him.

Made him as ugly as his heart.
Now he wants revenge.

What's going on?
You're not telling me everything.

I once had the chance to kill him.

But I couldn't.

Why can't you tell me the truth?

I don't want to hurt you, son.

I never asked you to
anything for me.

I'm asking you now.
Do what I can't. Kill him.

In there, down there,
that's where he lives.

Hercules, wait!
We're going with you.

What are you guys doing here?

We owe it to you.
For what we did in the town.

He took our people too.

Yeah!

Alright, just stay behind me.

Where are we going?

I don't know.
Wherever this leads us.

Which one do we take?

This one.

This place is a maze.
With all these twists

and turns we'll be lost for sure.

Here drag this behind you.

It will mark our path so we can
find our way back out.

I'm telling you,
we're already lost. Turn back!

Shut up, your the one who wanted
to come down here in the first place.

Well, I don't know!

We're all in this together.

No, we're not. I'm getting out.

Then go!

Why don't you go with your friend?

Nope. I'm going with you.

Great!

I only left one trail.

This isn't happening.
It can't be!

Aggh!

There's no way out!

Poor thing!

Where are you?

Show yourself, you coward!

Ha ha! You'll see me soon enough.

Come on!

It's pretty tight.
I don't think you can make it.

I'll make it.

Uh, Hercules.

What is it?

I think I'm stuck.

I'll give you a hand.

Come on, come on, suck it on.
You can make it. Come on.

No, no, I'm stuck.

Ha ha! too bad,
you had such a big dinner.

Hercules, it's behind me.

No! No!

Yes!

No!

Damn you!

Where are you,
come out and face me.

Ha ha ha!

Well, well, well, look who
finally decided to drop in.

Hercules, welcome to my home!

Do you like? Large yes,
but a little damp,

and cold, kinda like
a big stone grave.

Hercules, the favourite son of Zeus.

Pride of the King of the Gods.
What's the matter?

Do I frighten you? Does the
very sight of me offend you?

Good. Because that's exactly
what am I. An offense.

And it was your father
that made me this way.

From what I hear you deserved it.

What do you know about deserving?

You've had everything given
to you you're whole life.

Strength, fame, and glory.

No, I've earned what I have.

It was given to you by a god.

A pathetic old man who showers
his precious boy with

all the world, while I live
in a nightmare.

Well, now it's Zeus turn
for a nightmare,

and it starts when I toss
your head in his lap.

When does it end?

Ha ha ha!
With my Army storming his heaven.

I will be the new King of the Gods.

Sounds like a solid plan.
Except it's got one flaw.

Flaw, what flaw?

Me.

Guess things didn't work out
like you planned?

Can't say I'm sorry.

Hercules, you wouldn't really
kill your own brother, would you?

Brother?

Zeus had the chance to kill me once,
but why didn't he?

Why didn't he kill me?

Because he couldn't bring
himself to kill his own son.

You should have done it.

Come on, fight me!

No, you're my brother.

Fight me! I want to prove
which son of Zeus is more powerful.

I won't do it!

Then you can watch
your friend die.

No!

Son, I wanted to tell you.

No.

- I just couldn't--
- Alright.

I understand. I'm just sorry
you had to lose a son.

I lost him years ago.

Father!

We shouldn't have
allowed this to happen.

The day you turned against
me was the saddest day of my life.

I loved you, son. If you only hadn't
of made this necessary.

Please, don't let me die this way.

You're free now!

- Aggh!
- Iolaus, it's alright.

He's dead!

Come on, let's get the rest out.

Thadeus, Thadeus!

Where's your father?

Oh, he's probably headed home.

Same thing you and
I should be doing.

Yeah. Let's get out of here!

Well, Iolaus, that was an
interesting adventure.

I little more dangerous
than I remember them being.

You can say that again.
I almost got killed by a monster.

I don't want to do that for a while.

Yeah! Me either. Spending time
with my wife and kids

is all the adventure
I want right now.

I second that. Hey, by the way,
there's something.

I forgot to give you.

What's that?

I have an excellent memory.

You better get moving or
you'll have an excellent funeral.

- So long!
- So long!

- Dad!
- Dad!

Mommy! Mommy! Daddy's home!

Welcome to the Alps
and the Snow-Bunny Lodge, Pussycats.

Where the skis meet the skies,
and the chicks meet the guys.

Oh, wow, I really dig this gig.

Let's unlug the luggage
and check in with the boss man.

- Here's yours, Josie.
- Oh.

Why is she always first?
Give me mine first.

Hey, watch it!

How would you like a suitcase sombrero?

Hey, look at that crazy
high-rise apartment building...

...with the groovy outdoor elevator.

No, silly, that's a castle.
Probably some rich baron lives up there.

Now, for one last test
of my gold-destroying microbe mist.

Success!

Now no one shall stop Midas
from destroying all the gold in the world.

Wow. What a groovy sound.

They'd have a better sound
if I were the lead singer...

...instead of that squawking Josie.

Let's go skiing.
I hear the ski trails are way out.

Way out where?

Never mind, Melody. We'll show you.

Hey, gals, last one on the lift
is a sour snowball.

It's a deal!

This is one time
I'll outsmart that dumb Josie.

I'll take a shortcut
across the skating rink...

...and get to sit with Alan.

Looks like Alexandra is the sour snowball.

Nobody laughs at me
and gets away with it.

When they reach this trail sign
we've switched...

...they'll go on a wild goose chase.

Now, let's go watch the fun.

Now that you finally got here,
may we start our downhill run?

Oh, I'm such a good skier
that I'd hate to show the rest of you up.

- I'll sit this one out.
- Oh, come on. We're not proud.

Yipee!
Whee!

Groovy, I think.

Unhand me, you big ape.

The trail goes this way, gang.

Keep going, we're right behind you.

Oh, no.

Hey, something's wrong.

We're headed for those trees.
Careful, gang.

Watch those stumps, Melody!
I'm watching, I'm watching.

And look out for rocks.

This has to be
one of your dirty tricks, Alexandra.

Never mind.
Just watch where you're going.

Look out for the snowball!

Midas. Intruders on the tramcar, sir.

They must not discover our plans.

Bring them to me.

We've landed somewhere.

Let's get out of this igloo.

On your feet. You will come with us.

You are intruders.

Oh, no, sir, we're Pussycats.

- I'm Melody, and this is Josie, and...
- Silence.

You are intruders
and must be disposed of.

Disposed of?

That's no way to treat guests.

You are not my guests,
you are my prisoners.

Try to leave
and my guards will use their sleep guns.

What's this all about?
I demand an explanation.

In my laboratory
I have perfected a blue microbe mist...

...that has the capability to seek out
and destroy all the gold in the world.

- So, what good will that do you?
- I'll tell you, my curious friends.

Unless I am given
half of the gold in the world...

...I will destroy all the gold in the world.

Okay, now that we know
what you're gonna do with the gold...

- ...what are you gonna do with us?
- You will soon find out.

Be careful with that sleep gun.

Hey, may I borrow that sleep gun
when it's time for my afternoon nap?

Open the cell.

I'd hate to be in their shoes.

I wonder
what they're going to do to us now.

Oh, boy, the floor's moving.

Oh, look at the pretty molten gold.

Are you kidding?
That's what they're gonna do with us.

We'll be gold-plated Pussycats
unless someone thinks of something fast.

Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. It won't be long now.

Why, you...

Come back here.

Everybody out.

Nice work, Sebastian.

It's about time you rescued us,
you good-for-nothing feline.

We've got to find a way
out of this hilltop hacienda.

But how?

We can start
by taking the elevator downstairs.

What a crazy elevator.
It sounds just like an alarm.

It is an alarm. Let's get out.

The intruders have escaped. After them!

Quick, in here. Hurry.

No, in here.

- Look out!
- Look out for what?

Gosh, imagine being able
to fall asleep at a time like this.

- Never mind. Let's get him out of here.
- Okay.

He doesn't weigh much,
does he, Alexandra?

- Melody!
- Hey, where's Alex?

Over here, silly.

We got away
from those slumber-happy guards.

- Now we gotta find the other kids.
- Let's try this wall viewer.

Woops. Wrong channel.

That's not my favorite program either.

There they are,
going through that sliding door.

Gosh, Alexandra...

...since he's sound asleep,
how do you know he wants a shower?

- Maybe this'll wake him up, silly.
- Oh.

Shh! I hear someone coming.
Oh, golly, where can we hide?

- I know. Let's hide in the shower.
- No, Melody!

Oh!

Thank goodness we found you.

Help!

There must be some way
out of this old marble maze.

What's going on down there?

It's pretty obvious.
They're carting crates out of here.

That's gonna be our way out of here too.

Psst. Gang, I've found a conveyor belt
to the storeroom.

Let's belt out of here, cats.

Brace yourselves, I'll try to start it.

Oh, Valerie, I can start it.
Move over. Woops!

Yikes.
Help!

You've done it again, sis. Whoa!

Somebody, step on the brakes!

Golly, now I know how a termite feels.

We're lucky there are no guards around.

Hey, look what's packed
inside these crates.

There must be a zillion cans
of spray cologne.

Are you beanbags going to escape
or take inventory?

Golden Mist cologne. Mm, my favorite.

It's my favorite too. Give me that.

This will make me
even more alluring to Alan.

Wow, that must be strong stuff.

It dissolved away
Alexandra's gold ski suit.

Gold. That's it!

These cans must be filled
with the microbe mist.

So that's how Midas plans
to distribute it around the world.

As cologne.

Yikes! Here comes Midas
and one of his golden guards.

Quick, everybody in this empty crate.

If I knew where those meddling kids were
I'd make short work of them.

Stop your teeth chattering.
Now, stop shaking.

- Like I'm gonna sneeze.
I'll stop your sneeze, Alan.

Oh, I'll do that for Alan, Josie.

It's those meddling kids. Get them!

Quick, gang, into this crate.

I'll try to get the air car started.

Stop them! Stop them!

We made it!
We're free!

Well, they say any landing
you can walk away from is a good one.

So they think they've escaped me.

Ha-ha. But not for long.

Do you mean to say this Midas fellow
is going to destroy all the gold in the world?

That's right. We've gotta stop him.

May we use your phone
to call the police?

I'm sorry,
but my phone, uh, is out of order.

- There must be some way to stop Midas.
- Hold everything.

I, Alexander Cabot III,
have just formulated a plan that can't miss.

- If it's your plan, it's probably a mistake.
- I'll ignore that.

Using Sebastian in a diversionary move,
you climb back up the slope...

...sneak into the fortress
and discombobulate his lab.

No more microbe mist. No more Midas.

That's a great idea, Alexander.

Come on, Pussycats.

Good luck, kids, and do be careful.

Yeah, good luck, kids, and do be careful.

Come on, Chicken Little,
you're invited too.

Somebody, get me a lawyer.

Midas,
the intruders are on their way back.

Excellent.
I'll have a reception party waiting.

Wow. Look at all those guards.

They look like they're expecting us.
We'll never get in.

Well, they won't be expecting
what we're going to do.

Let's put our plan in operation.

Look, there they are.

Fire your sleep guns.

The trick worked.
Now, getting in the back way is a cinch.

Hey, wait for Sebastian. Ouch!

How would you like
a one-way ride to the dog pound?

- Wow, what a setup.
- And listen to that groovy sound.

Okay, now let's get on
with the rest of our plan.

- You know what to do, Val?
- Check.

While you and the others
keep Midas occupied...

...I'll rig a powerful vacuum cleaner
with this electronic junk...

...then Alex and I will use it
to destroy the micro stuff in the lab.

Gee, thanks a lot, Valerie.

What is it?

The maintenance crew is here, Midas.

Very well. Show them in.

Uh, don't mind us, sir.
Uh, you'll hardly know we're here.

Just keep it quiet.
I have a lot of work to do.

Yes, sir. Woops.

There. The world's most powerful
electronic vacuum cleaner, ready to go.

Go where?

You're not nervous, are you?

No, I only shake like this
when I'm scared stiff.

This air conditioning vent
should lead us right to the main lab.

I can hardly wait.

- How does this thing work?
- Easy.

With wires. Just like a model airplane.

Lower it gently.

- I have a better idea.
- Like what?

Like why don't we retreat
to a small island in the Pacific?

Come on, just lower the vacuum.

- Now, start it.
- Okay.

Here goes.

Good. Now, guide it
to the cylinder outlet.

Right.

- To your left. More to your left.
- I can't look.

Oh, no. You jerked
the wrong wire. It's out of control!

- Oh, no!
- Oh, yeah!

- Hi, there.
- It's the intruders.

Sound the alarm!

The alarm!

Uh-oh. They must've discovered
Alex and Valerie.

- And here comes Midas.
I'll stop him.

Quick, to the lab.

Valerie, Alex? Where are you?

Up here. Help!

Put your hands up. All of you.

Help!

Help!

Uh-oh. More guards.
- I'll stop them with this furniture glue.

You're always showing off, Josie.

Give me that glue. Watch me, Alan, dear.

Help!

Halt or we'll...

A little lumpy but still cute, ha-ha-ha-ha.

Get me off of this thing.

Anything you say, sis.

Somebody, stop the world.
I wanna get on.

Oh, somebody will pay dearly for this.

You will all pay dearly.

Uh-oh, we forgot about him.

I've just about had enough
of you meddlers!

And I've just about had enough of you,
you 24-carat creep.

If I can just reach that drape. There.

I think you'll be my first victim. Hey!

- What a spot for the blanket-toss routine.
- Right.

It worked. Looks like curtains...
I mean, drapes for Midas.

Upsy-daisy.

Hey, watch it.
Stop!

Yikes!

- Welcome aboard.
- Thanks a million.

- Cleared for takeoff.
- Ceiling unlimited.

Help!

Wow, look!

Midas's microbe mist
is turning into soap bubbles.

Twenty years of work ruined.

Don't feel too bad, Mr. Midas.

When you get out of jail
you can go into the bubble-bath business.

Relax, Josie, you just hang on to me.
I'll show you how it's done.

But, Alan, I don't know how to ice-skate.

If that conniving redhead
wants a lesson in skating, I'll give her one.

Sebastian, go trip Josie
so I can skate with Alan.

You know, some days
it just doesn't pay to play a dirty trick.

-Isaac Belfour, professor of chemistry. -

You. No. Oh, no.

Here we are in exotic London town.

And where did my dumb brother
book our gig?

In little old Puddletown.

Sorry, sis, but it was the best I could do.

And speaking of doing...

...you're doing a crummy job
of getting us there.

We've been driving around
in the fog for hours.

But I've been giving him directions
from this road map.

No wonder we're lost.

You've been reading a chart of the stars.

Golly. We're halfway
between Venus and the Big Dipper.

Oh, I'll get us there.

Let me do the driving, Alex.

Hey. Cut it out.

Yikes! My head's stuck.

Yeow! Hey.
Watch it.

Follow that bus. He must not escape us.

We're finally on the right road
for our gig in Puddletown.

It's about time.

Wake me when we get there.

I'm gonna recline my seat
and take a nap.

- Ouch.
- Who said "ouch"?

I said ouch.

- Oh. Who are you?
- And how did you get aboard our bus?

I am Professor Belfour.

And I boarded your bus because
I was being pursued by the invisible Mr. X.

Invisible Mr. X? Who's he?

Mr. X was my laboratory assistant.

You see, I was experimenting
on a formula of invisibility.

-I tested the formula
on one of my lab specimens.-

-Success. He became invisible.-

Golly. Do you mean -invisible- invisible?

You're putting us on, aren't you?

No, no, it's true.

That night, my untrustworthy assistant
sneaked back into the lab.

-He drank the formula
and rendered himself invisible.-

Now he intends to use his invisibility...

...in a diabolical scheme
to obtain secret information...

...for his own benefit.

If he's already invisible,
why is he pursuing you now, professor?

Because he knows
I have created this formula...

...which will make him visible
and spoil his evil plans.

Wow, you are in trouble, professor.

Why don't you let us hold your formula
for safekeeping?

Is safekeeping sort of like housekeeping?

If Mr. X catches up with you...

...at least we can get the formula
to the authorities.

That's an excellent idea.

I'll be the one to hold on to it.

And for the time being, you'll be safe
with us while we do our gig in Puddletown.

We'll go inside and see if Belfour
is still with those meddling kids.

I'll apply bandages and wear gloves
so I can accompany you.

Let's go.

Look, there's Professor Belfour...

...with some of the kids.

After the Pussycats start playing,
watch for my signal...

...and we'll put my plan into action.

I should be the star of that show.

I'll switch the speaker wires around
and make Josie sound bad.

Yikes!

Oh, golly. I'm flying. I'm...

Hey, my guitar. Come back here.

- Wow! What's going on?
- It's Mr. X.

Let's grab him.

Over here, Alan.
He must be under my guitar.

Get off my head, you.

Where is he?
Over here.

No, this way.

I'll get him. I'll get him.

I've got him. I've got him.

Hang on, Melody.

I'll bop him.

You bop me, beanbag,
and your next gig will be in the hospital.

- We didn't get Mr. X after all.
- No, but look:

Mr. X got Professor Belfour.

Well, at least I still have
his formula for the antidote.

Gosh. I wonder where
Mr. X has taken Professor Belfour.

We'd better tell the police
what's happened.

You might as well tell me, Belfour.

No one can withstand
my truth-machine chair.

Now, where is the formula
for that antidote you developed?

I don't have it.
And I won't tell you where it is.

We'll see about that.

Let's try once more, Belfour.

Where is the antidote formula?

Ah, I gave it to the youngsters.

Those meddling kids again.

Their next move will be
to head for the local constable.

We must be prepared.

Here we are, gang,
the local constabulary.

I thought we were going to the police.

Oh, Melody. In England,
policemen are called constables.

Sounds silly to me, ha-ha-ha.

This Mr. X is invisible.

And he's gonna use his invisibility
for evil purposes.

And he's already abducted
Professor Belfour.

And now he's trying
to get Prof. Belfour's antidote formula...

...which we have and...

Oh, golly. We must have interrupted
a training session.

Here's another constable all tied up
and a gag in his mouth.

I'm the real constable.
Those are impostors.

Let's grab them.
There's only two of them and three of us.

Correction, two of us.
Because I'm leaving.

- I left the bus double-parked.
- Chicken.

You blokes aren't going anywhere.

I think he's right.

I wonder what's taking them so long.

Help! Help! Help!

That's what's taking them so long.
Let's go.

- They vanished.
- No.

But they're vanishing. Look:

What gives?

There's something rotten in Denmark.
Uh, I mean England.

Come on, let's follow them.

Help! Help!

Hurry, Josie. Hurry.

Oh, golly. It won't start.

There's a hill ahead, Alan.
Let's push it to get it started.

Yay! It started.

Hey, Josie. Wait for us.

Oh, no. Now the brakes won't work.

Help! Help!

Stop, Josie. Stop.

Ah! I can't stop.

Sebastian,
sneak out of this rolling jail cell...

...and let the others know
where we're being taken.

Shh! I wanna copy this formula on your foot
so Mr. X can't get it.

What's going on?

Oh, we were just telling jokes.

Now, put your shoe back on
and the formula will be safe.

What if they get this copy?

They can't get it if I eat it.

Ugh. Thanks. I needed that.

You did a great job
of repairing the brakes, Val.

Now, if we can just pick up
the trail of that police van.

Hey, look,

It's Sebastian.

Let's use Sebastian
to follow the trail of the other kids.

I don't think
Sebastian likes being a dog.

All right, where is it?

I want that antidote formula.

Tough. We hid it.

It's right under foot.
But you'll never find it.

My truth-machine chair
will get the answer.

Where is the formula?

Oh, yes, the formula.

You wouldn't believe me if I told you.

Just answer the questions.

You're overloading the transistor diodes.

Now, what is the recipe for the formula?

Recipe? Oh, that's easy.

First, you mix up the butter batter
and then you put in the egg whites.

Oh, boy. Her dumb answers
are gonna blow up the machine.

Are you giving me
the recipe for the formula?

No, silly. The only recipe I know
is for a peanut-butter omelet.

Now, after it's all mixed up,
put it in the blender.

No, no. I think you cook it first.

And then you sprinkle coconut on it.

Golly, what happened?

Come on, Melody.
Let's grope out of here.

Don't let them escape. After them.

Find them. I want that formula.

We gave them the slip.
Let's go back to the lab.

We just came from the lab.

That's the idea.

They'll never think
of looking for us there.

Oh.

We're doomed.
They'll come back and find us here.

They can't find us if they can't see us.

Gosh. What's that?

It's the invisible potion.

Hey, we'll make ourselves invisible
and just walk out.

We shouldn't drink anything
when we don't know what it is.

Nonsense. If it didn't hurt Mr. X,
it won't hurt us.

There's not enough there for all of us.

We'll just have to make do.

Well, here's looking at you.

Ooh! There was only enough
to make half of me invisible.

Me too. My middle's missing.

All it did was to make me transparent.

They must have doubled back.

Find them.

Yikes! Let's cut out, cats.

Wow! The trail leads into this old castle.

Keep a sharp eye out
for the invisible man.

Just how do you
keep a sharp eye out for an invisible man?

Oh, goody. I'm thirsty.

What are you fixing?

I'm mixing the professor's antidote formula
to return us to normal.

Oh, with Alexander transparent,
I can't read this last ingredient.

I'll just have to fake it.

Here, Alex. Drink this.

Are you kidding? I wouldn't...

It's for your own good.

Now, where's Mr. X
and his creepy henchmen?

Let me at them. Where are they?

I'll give them the old one-two
three times.

- Here they come.
- I'll give them the old karate chop.

I'll find us a safe place to hide.

Ooh. The brave potion wore off.

Golly. I can see my middle again.

That invisible potion has worn off.

A lot of good it'll do us.

We're boxed in a dead-end room.

Seems like we've looked everywhere.

Well, where do we go from here?

Look. Maybe this lever
opens a secret panel.

Uh-oh. Here they come.

How about that?
It opened a secret ceiling.

Thanks a lot.

Put them in the dungeon. All of them.

Now, is everybody comfy?

If I could get out of these stocks,
I'd knock your block off.

How do you turn on the air conditioning
in this iron maiden?

This rack is kind of lumpy.
How about a pillow?

- You'll never get away with this.
- Will you?

I demand to see...

To see my lawyer.

If you decide to tell me
where the formula is...

...just scream.

Don't just stand there.

Get me out of this mahogany necklace.

Hurry. And we'll free the others.

Thanks, Sebastian,
you little furry lock-picker.

What do we do now?

Valerie and I have a plan
for capturing Mr. X and his henchmen.

Right. I'll motorize this suit of armor
and send it after them.

While you're doing that,
we'll try to find Professor Belfour.

Now, don't do anything till we get back.

The vacuum-cleaner motor's hooked up.
It's just about ready.

Let me have the remote controls, Alexandra.
I'll test it now.

Oh, why waste time testing?

I can operate it.

Let Valerie test it, sis.
You'll goof up for sure.

I don't know why
you wanted to test it first.

- It works fine.
- I hope so.

It'll be back with Mr. X
and his henchmen any minute now.

Yikes! You can say that again. Look:

After them.

It's all your fault
for making a stool-pigeon robot.

I told you we should have tested it first.

Please, please, girls.

Run now, argue later.

No trace of Professor Belfour anywhere.

Hey. What's up, cats?

I surely do appreciate...

...you youngsters capturing Mr. X
and his henchmen...

...and rescuing me.

We were glad we could help,
Professor Belfour.

How long will Mr. X remain invisible?

This antidote will make him
visible again right now.

Let me have it. I'll make him drink it.

No, no, you don't drink it.
You spray it on.

Watch:

Meddling kids.

Golly. That made him appear again.

And now I'll make him disappear again
for a good many years, in jail.

Boy. All this running around
has left me thirsty.

Here's some of my potion left
that changed our personalities.

If Alan drinks it...

...maybe he'll switch his attentions
from Josie to me.

Here, Alan dear.

I'll give Alan a drink, Josie.

Hey, cut it out.

Ouch. Ouch!

Cut it out you big metal wolf.

Ouch! Now stop it, you tin Casanova.

Wow, this is the roughest road
I've ever seen.

Whee! Hey, this is fun.

You're some navigator, Alexandra.

I'll bet you planned this shortcut
to make us miss our gig.

I did it so I could bounce Josie away
from Alan.

Well, thanks a bunch, Alexandra.

You bounced us all
into a bunch of trouble.

Look, we're just about out of gas.

At least we're not out of luck.
There's a filling station up ahead.

Oh, goody. I've got a loose filling.

Oh, no, Melody. A gas filling station,
not a -filling- filling station.

What will it be, kids?

Seventy-five cents worth of your best gas,
my good man, and check the oil.

Sure thing.

I hope it's enough to get us to Mexico.

It is. The border's only a mile away.

See, Josie?
We haven't a thing to worry about.

That does it. You're all set, kids.

- Thanks.
- My pleasure.

I can see there's nothing of value
to declare here.

Nothing of value?

Take another look, senor.

I am here.

That's our cue to cross.

Oops!

Scorpion, the shipment
has crossed the border.

Hidden in a drum belonging
to a group of kids.

Excellent. Soon we will have
the nuclear power...

...to put my plan into operation.

And then the Scorpion shall strike.

Well, gang, we made it.

Yeah. Beautiful downtown Bulavista.

Well, what will we do, cats?

We've got time before our gig
at the fiesta tonight.

Let's eat. I'm starved.

And I'm hungry, ha-ha-ha.

Okay, while you go eat,
Alan and I will go souvenir shopping.

Uh, uh...

I'd rather eat. Come on.

Well, uh, then I'm with you.

It's them. We have located the kids
and the drum, Scorpion.

Well done. Now get the drum
and bring it to me at once.

It shall be done.

Oh, look at all those yummy goodies.

And all the time,
I thought they were tacos.

What would you kids like to order?

A cold soda for Melody and me.

I'll have a tamale.
What will you have, Alan, dear?

I don't know.
Um, what will you have, Josie?

Uh, I think I'll have a taco, Alan.

So will I. Two tacos, please.

Ooh. That Josie, using the old taco trick.

Hmm, a little hot sauce will unsweeten
that redhead's sweet talk.

And while they're gawking at the village
is a good time to do it.

Here, Sebastian,
pour this on Josie's taco.

Come on, now,
don't let our food get cold.

Mm, this looks good. Mm.

Just wait until she bites into it.

Help. Water. Help.

Hey, what's with Alexandra?

She looks burned up about something.

Don't just stand there.

Someone get a pitcher of water.

Well, okay.

Here's your picture of water,
but it's kind of silly if you ask me.

I won't ask. Believe me.

Hurry. We don't want to be seen.

Hey, you guys,
you have a drum just like mine.

Huh? Hey, it is yours.

You mean it was hers.
Those goons are stealing it.

Hey, they can't get away with that.

As manager of the Pussycats,
I won't allow it.

Uh, one of you girls stop them.

Okay, all-talk-and-no-action, I will.

I'll use these toppers as crime stoppers.

I'll take this, you creeps.

They should thank Alexandra.

Swiping my drum could have started them
on a life of crime.

- Oh, brother.
- They're getting away with the drum.

This will stop them.

Quick, follow me.

Alexandra and the others
have been gone a long time.

- I wonder what's keeping them?
- Look, here they come.

And there they go.

Hey, who's that following them?

I don't know.
Come on, let's join the chase.

- Follow me.
- I hope you know where you're going.

Have I ever led you astray?

Oh, look, a cow.

Yikes! You led us into a bull ring.

Oh, he's cute.

Run!
Don't worry, follow me.

Uh-oh.
Those goons are guarding the gate.

And here comes the bull.

Help!

- There they are.
- What are they doing down in the bull ring?

- I think it's bullfighting, Pussycat style.
- Ol�! Ol�!

Help!

- Sebastian, do something.
- Ol�!

Ah! A big help you were, you chicken feline.

Ol�!

Well, what do you expect,
trying to get the best of Alexandra Cabot?

Ol�!

- Thank you. Thank you.
- Ol�! Ol�!

Uh-oh. Act's over. No encore.

Oh, my poor dusty drum.

Don't you dare run into my drum, you...

You cow.

Shoo. Shoo, I say.

Ol�! Ol�!

Thank you. Thank you.

I think she could use a little help
at this point.

Oh, thanks, Alan.

Give me the cape, Melody, quick.

Ol�!

Run, Melody. I'll take care
of that overgrown hamburger.

Hey, toro.

Ol�!

The only way out is guarded
by those two creeps.

We'll just have to bull our way
through them.

Looks like a pretty good lineup.

Toro, toro, and all that bullfighting jazz.

Go get them, toro.

Look out.

I wonder why those characters
wanted Melody's drum.

I don't know, but we're not
gonna let it out of sight.

Or Melody either.

- Now, stick close, Melody.
- Unh!

Melody? Hey, you guys, Melody's gone.

There she is.

Those creeps have her in that car.

Hop in the dune buggy, cats.
We've gotta get her back.

You're breaking the law, you know?

And another thing,
you're driving too fast.

Watch out for that rock,
and look out for that cactus.

Well, there's a...

Can't you go any faster, Alan?

No way. I'm floor-boarded now.

- Calling the Scorpion, over.
- What is it?

We have the drum and a prisoner.

But we are being followed
by some meddling kids.

I shall deal with them.

Hey, what's with that crazy helicopter?

And what's that kooky contraption?

It's an electromagnet. They're after us.

Hang on. We're gonna lose them.

They think they can escape us.

Look out.

Ah, we missed them.

Wow. This is like a roller coaster ride.

Except the one who's getting the thrills
is Josie.

Uh-oh. Here he comes again. Hang on.

With pleasure.

Let go, Alexandra, I can't drive.

Ha-ha-ha, now we've got them.

Help!

Nice going, Alexandra,
you messed us up again.

I get the point. Ow. Ouch!

Hey, look.

Help!

Valerie, do something. Save me.

Those creeps have Alex and Valerie.

Come on,
we've gotta follow them on foot.

Ow, ouch.

That's the only way I can travel.

So you see, my curious friends...

...with these nuclear capsules...

...my earth-core drill can tap
the inner world's fantastic energy...

...which will power
my world weather control machine.

Control the weather?

I will be able to make any part of the world
unbearably hot, or freezing cold.

Will your machine make snow cones?
I just love them.

You won't want anything cold
when I'm through with you.

This device will deep freeze you
for four or five centuries.

Couldn't you make it two weeks
at the beach, Mr. Scorpion?

I guess not.

- They're leaving the control room.
- Did you hear what he said?

Yes. Old Scorpy's making frozen chicken
out of my chicken brother.

Oh, no, he's not. We're gonna thaw
that chicken out. Come on.

How do we defrost them?

These must be the controls.

I'll switch them back to medium rare.

Wow, we just made it.
They're almost ice cubes.

Are you all right?

Huh? Oh, swell,
considering I'm a 400-year-old teenager.

Now, what are we going to do?

Well, we've gotta find some way
to take the sting out of the Scorpion.

Hold it, hold it.
I think I'm getting a brainstorm.

It's probably only a small drizzle.
What is it?

While you guys stall these creeps,
someone goes for help.

What someone?

Me.

A brilliant mind like you
would be wasted going for help.

I can't argue that.

Then it's settled.
You stay behind with the girls.

Uh, right. Uh.

No, I mean, wrong.

Too late. You're staying.

But how are we gonna stall the Scorpion?

Simple, the whole key to this plan...

...is for Valerie to rewire one
of the Scorpion's viewing screens.

Then Alexandra disguises herself
as the Lizard.

Huh?
Me, the Lizard?

Yes, the beautiful leader
of an evil organization.

Beautiful? Oh, well, in that case,
anything you say, Alan.

Uh, you forgot one thing.
Who's going for help?

Why, me, of course. And, uh, Josie.

Hmm, Josie makes off with Alan
while I make off like a lizard. Yuck!

Do a good job on me, Melody.
We've got to fool the Scorpion.

It will fool him. Look.

I'm not supposed to look like a dummy,
you dummy.

I'm supposed to look like a movie star.

Movie star?

Oh, that will be easy.

Hey, hurry up, will you, Val?

Keep your knees quiet
and hand me a screwdriver.

Here you go. Yeow!

Quick, shut it off.

Oh, boy, some assistant.

Just lay there and rest,
and leave the tinkering to me.

It's a pleasure.

I sure hope
this crazy closed-TV circuit works.

It should.

- Oh, Alexandra, it's time for your debut.
- Coming.

Ta, ta-ta.
Ta-ta, ta-ta-ta!

Sound the fanfare
for Alexandra, the beautiful Lizard.

Well, here we go.

Calling the Scorpion.
Calling the Scorpion.

Stand by for a secret transmission
from the Lizard.

From the Lizard? Proceed.

I am the Lizard,
head of a powerful world organization...

...known as Lovers of the Lizard.

And what does your organization do,
Madam Lizard?

Oh, anything rotten
and crooked, Scorpion.

Hmm, we have a lot in common.

Excellent. I'll be right over
to discuss it with you.

Come in.

Well, bonjour, Scorpy.

You are the Lizard?

Yes, but you can call me Liz.

What is it you want, uh, Liz?

Not much.

Minister Alexander the Great will explain.

No, never.

- Half of it?
- No.

- A quarter?
- Uh, a tenth?

- How about Coney Island?
- Nothing.

Then I will use my weather machine
to take it all.

What, what's this?
You have a weather control machine too?

Well, sure, Scorpy.
Doesn't every evil organization?

- Very well, Liz, make it fifty-fifty.
- It's a deal.

Oh, goody. Let's celebrate.

I'll make us all raspberry snow cones.

Don't touch that machine.

What have you done?

I think I made a small cloud.

Yeow! You and your snow cone.

Guards, it's those meddling kids.
Seize them.

The Lizard show's over.
Let's get out of here.

Ol�. Ol�.

- This is help?
- It was the only thing we could get.

Hey, I just love cows.

So does Alan, especially redheaded ones.

All right, cats, let's split.

Wow. We made it.

Oh, that's what you say.
Ouch! Oh...

Well, it looks like we pinned
the old Scorpion down at last.

All we've gotta do is tie him up and take
him back to beautiful downtown Bulavista.

Anything, unh.

But get this 2000-pound steak
off my back.

You kids have done the world
a great service by capturing the Scorpion.

Oh, it was nothing.

It was magn�fico.

And I have a surprise for you.

A surprise, for me?

Uh-huh. For all of you.

This is a pinata. Full of many gifts.

It is broken with a stick.

Senorita Josie, you do the honors.

Thanks, but the name is Alexandra.

- This will be easy.
- Wait.

It is the custom to be blindfolded
when breaking the pinata.

That's silly. Now she can't see it.

Even blindfolded. Just watch my form.

Okay, stand back.

- Hey, Alexandra, turn around.
- You're going the wrong way.

Don't trick me.
I know what I'm doing.

Look out.

Stop.

Hey, it didn't break,
so all the presents are mine.

You wanna see what I won?

A hornet's nest pinata? Oh, no.

Step on it. Here she comes.

Wait for me. Stop.

When will we stop and pick her up?

That depends on how soon
the hornets get tired.