Original subtitles

Lashauwn Beyond: This is not RuPaul's Best Friend Race.

Laganja Estranja: I feel very attacked!

Vanjie: I was trying to reach closure with you!

Silky: If I would've lip synced for my life today, bitch,

I was ready to do so!

RuPaul: This is Untucked, backstage at the competition

to become America's next drag superstar.

Girl, if you're not watching Untucked,

you're only getting half the story.

Director: That's a break on the main stage.

All cameras re-po.

RuPaul: Thank you, ladies.

While you untuck backstage,

the judges and I will debate.

You may leave the stage.

I agree with everything the judges have said about me.

I agree that sometimes my comedy falls flat,

that I get too esoteric in my humor.

But I think I gave the judges exactly what's true to myself,

and I'm feeling, more than anything,

empowered to continue on in this competition.

I'm just gonna keep doing me.

Bitch, I'm feeling good.

I'm not a debater, but what I do is argue.

And I'm just really excited

that the judges finally got to see more about who I am,

and most likely will want to see more from me going forward.graphic

Speeding.

Oh, child.

Mm, come here, my pretty.

Oh.

-Oh, we have new furnishings. -Ooh.

We're blessed and highly favored with this Objects furniture.

Well, how is everybody feeling?

I feel really good.

You look good today, bitch.

It was like, aah! [laughs]

-You honestly today... -Look stunning.

Thank you, thank you.

You've made, such, like,

an incredible improvement since day one.

And that's coming from her, who--

The one that called me ugly.

The one that called you ugly.

Don't touch me.

[all laugh]

"Don't touch me."

She said your makeup looked better.

She did not say you were pretty.

Oh, I've been taking tips from so many.

I took tips from Widow, I've taken tips from Jaida.

-Yes! -And it's--it's--thank God.

Well, we gonna get it, we--look--

We gonna get it even better.

Crystal, what are you thinking right now?

Okay, hi, everybody, it's me, Crystal.

It's my third week in the top, and I wanna win.

I would like to congratulate you.

You've been on a roll. You've been in the top.

Comeback queen.

She is literally the toes

that are about the spill out of the shoe that is too small,

but refuses to let go.

Yes, thank you. Thank you.

The cliffhanger.

You will make it, Crystal.

-Jaida, this look is amazing. -You look amazing.

-Thank you. -It's amazeballs.

I'm blown away that you actually made this.

Well, thank God I'm not lip syncing,

because if I had to lip sync today,

you would know that I made it.

Leg opens, it's like psht.

It's made to walk on the runway, and that's it.

Hah!

How are you, Gigi? King George.

I'm not upset about the challenge, really.

As soon as we left filming it, I kind of was prepared

for what the judges were going to tell me.

I'm not sure. Are you a big politics fan?

I'm not.

Yeah, I think that hurt you in this challenge,

because to be able to parody something,

you have to kind of have a base knowledge of it,

and I felt like maybe that was missing.

I'm just ashamed for not educating myself.

A lot of people don't want us to think

that politics are important,

because if you don't think it's important,

then it's easier for them to win.

To even just say, you know what?

I have not been paying attention to something that's important,

and I'm gonna change that,

that's already in itself a lot just to admit that.

I am not well-versed in politics,

but one thing about this challenge

that I am excited about

is it really made me realize what I wanna be doing

and how I wanna change.

Because to me, that's really important.

However, I'm a little bit worried

that I have a weakness compared to the others.

Jackie, I just wanna know where you're at, how you're feeling.

I mean, look...

What do you...

I...

I was scared to wear this.

There are so many people

who will think that what I'm doing is wrong,

but there are so many people who don't even have that voice.

There is such a small queer Muslim community.

Even I've talked to you girls about hard it is for me

and being honest about who I am with my own family.

And if you're lucky enough where this issue won't affect you,

you may not know how important this is to me

and so many other people.

What you did tonight on the runway

was you really showed stars and stripes out there.

And what you did for young LGBTQAI Muslim people,

you literally blew the doors fucking wide open.

Humongous balls.

[laughs]

I mean, look, I don't want this

to be a sad moment for me,

because more than anything, I'm proud.

-Yeah. -And if I have to lip sync,

I'm proud to look like this and to be myself.

-Fierce, brave. -Brave.

Yeah.

So I wanna talk--

That was the first time this season

that Ru raised her tone, and I was shook.

Widow, how did it feel?

Like, because she was, like,

talking directly to you when it happened.

I stayed up till 4:30 in the morning just writing stuff,

and it just feels like it was all for nothing.

You're digging yourself into a hole right now,

and you don't have to do that.

This is all just constructive criticism.

It's really hard for me to be--

It's hard. The competition's fucking hard.

But don't do that to yourself.

The payoff is not worth it.

I felt like I did exactly what I thought was great,

and once again...

You know what, Widow?

You are really good, and, like, what Ru was saying

is, like, really important.

Like, sometimes no matter how good we think we did,

it's okay to fuck up.

But, like, you don't have to beat yourself up about it.

And I don't mean, like, just because--

Like, you're not a failure.

If you make it past today,

that tomorrow won't be better, you know what I mean?

It's no longer just one thing.

it's, like, every fucking week.

And I'm just, like, the fuck.

Like, I literally got no sleep for this entire challengecheck here act end

because I stayed up writing it.

Hell, I should have just fucking went to sleep.

I should have just came in, you know,

bright-eyed and bushy-tailed like everybody else,

and just said fuck it.

I'm tired of writing material.

I'm tired of trying to put it together

just to be told that it's awful.

Like, and that's all I hear.

Well, they didn't say it was awful.

But they didn't say it was good.

I'm not gonna lie to you.

I'm crushed, devastated, I'm disappointed.

I thought I was giving so much more in this competition,

but apparently not.

I think I'm good at pretty much everything,

and then realizing that I'm not,

and there are other queens that do it better than me,

it's a complete mind fuck.

Do you hear what they were, like, saying

about, like, not letting your feelings overtake you?

It's a little past that point now.

I literally felt like this was my turnaround,

and I'm right back where I was last week.

Right back where I was the week before.

Right back where I was ever since the first week.

I relate to you in that way,

and I was in the bottom a lot of times.

And I felt like I was giving my all and doing my best,

and it really is like a game of Jumanji.

You never know what is going to happen.

Yeah.

Well, right now I'm getting ran over

by the entire stampede of all the animals

that were running through the living room.

Widow, it wasn't that it wasn't funny.

It just wasn't as funny as some of the other girls.

I hear what y'all saying,

but I don't think anyone is understanding what I'm saying.

Literally the only person that I heard

that got other bad critiques was Jackie,

which means that I am not funnier

than anybody else that's up here.

That's literally all I heard.

I am tired of not getting anything,

and it's literally just...

Really, at the end of the day,

like, if you don't want to think in your mind

that what can happen can change, then it won't.

If you tell yourself that you cannot do this,

like, it's not gonna work.

Each week passes by,

and Widow is slowly but surely beating herself up.

When Chaka Khan came in, she had high hopes

and she really got back in that headspace that she needed to be.

But as soon as Chaka left,

it was, like, right back down to where she had been,

and it's hard to watch.

How you feeling, Miss Thing?

Rotten?

I know the feeling. You just gotta fight.

-When you were in the bottom... -My runway.

It was because we all were great,

and it came down to the runway.

I know it's not my runways. I know my runways look great.

I don't get it.

The only thing I hear is "You weren't funny."

You weren't funny. You weren't funny."

But I don't think any of them said

that you, like, literally wasn't funny.

It just was less funny.

"Less funny" means "not funny."

That's how I see it.

Like, I can't talk myself out of it,

I can't move past it, I can't get around it.

It's just--it's physically, emotionally,

it literally feels like 13 years of preparing to do everything

is just--this is killing every fiber in my being.

And I just feel like...

[sighs] It just feels like I'm gonna be seeing Kansas Citycheck at ed

a lot sooner than I expected.

Girl, don't say that. Don't get in that mindset.

Because if you get in that mindset, it'll come true.

I was on a downward spiral in my head

the night of having to lip sync against Brita,

and it all clicked when I was, like,

You know what? I'm about to lip sync.

Lip syncing is what I do.

I get that,

and that's what got me through the Chaka Khan song.

Mm-hmm.

But my body is falling apart, and I can't deal with it,

because I have to try

to get through this fucking mind fuck

that is literally making me

not even sure of who I am as an entertainer anymore.

I've run so much things in Kansas City,

it's making me just think that I just got lucky.

Girl, no, you're here for a reason.

You're that bitch in Kansas for a reason.

So don't ever think you just got lucky.

Widow is starting to take all the critiques

a little too personal.

You have to be able to separate yourself from your art,

and she's not.

It's really tearing her up inside.

She's used to being, like, that bitch,

and it's hard to say, okay,

maybe I wasn't the best at this moment,

and keep pushing through.

But that's what you have to do.

Look, bitch, right now

everybody's still real cool and comfortable and collected.

Do you all feel like maybe we have, like, some hidden issues?

Okay, listen, I think America wants us to fight,

and America wants to see some issues happen, which there--

I mean, clearly there have been in the past.

Yes! Mm!

So you hate a bitch, but you love a bitch.

You hate a bitch, but you love a bitch.

I don't have any issues with any of y'all.

I mean, there's part of me

that wishes we could connect with Widow more,

but I don't think it has anything to do with us.

Ooh.

That sounds like an issue.

-[laughs] -But, like, it's--

it's, like, I'm not gonna be, like, mad at her about that.

I think she's got a lot of things in her mind

that are keeping her from connecting with us.

I mean, I could pull her into this conversation if we want.

We could talk to her about it.

I guess at the end of the day, like, it just is what it is.

Like, I'm not upset enough

to really confront someone about not being my best friend.

Throughout this competition,

Widow seems to be quick to jump to the wrong conclusions.

She's kind of separated herself

whenever she's either gotten a negative criticism,

or whenever she was upset with any of us, she would pull away.

And I feel bad that she hasn't been able to connect to me

or the other girls as much as I would have hoped.

But that's her problem.

To me, I think that, like,

if an issue is worth calling out,

then it's an issue worth addressing.

That's just me.end act

Do you wanna talk to Widow?

I mean, it seems like she really wants her space.

I mean, go ahead, get it off our chests now,

because someone's going home tonight.

All right, queens, five minutes left.

-Oh. -Oh.

Five minutes.

-Oh, my God. -Five minutes, ladies.

Could you adhere my star?

The shorter side is supposed to stab me in the neck,

not the longer one.

Hey, Miss Thing.

Howdy.

I think it's me and you tonight.

[sighs]

Can I tell you something?

Yes, if you don't mind me looking down,

trying to figure out how my stars--

Put that on. Let me help you, baby.

Trying to figure out

how my stars and stripes goes back together.

Thank you.

I was saying earlier back there,

they were like, "What's going on?

Are we really best friends, or is there stuff between us?"

And I wanna tell you my only wish

is that we could have been a little closer this competition.

I see your heart and I see your pain, too,

and I know sometimes that's why you pull away from us sometimes.

And I'm sorry

if I've ever made you feel like you can't talk to me.

But I really, really respect you.

I think you're really incredible as a queen.

Why do you we always have to have conversations

when one of us is dying?

Look, you are a special, special entertainer.

-You, too. -You're a special human being.

You're gonna teach me

how to do those drops and kicks and stuff, aren't you?

Not during this, but another time.

You have to stretch. You have to stretch first.

Yeah, stretch first.

I have a lot of feelings.

But I feel strength coming through me

as I'm wearing this outfit.

I have a fire lit up under my ass,

knowing that it's make-or-break time.

I have to show the judges that I need to be here

all the way through to the end.

All the emotions

are just circling around my head at this moment,

and my emotions haven't really changed.

I'm trying so hard to push these feelings down

so I can give a great lip sync to redeem myself.

I'm at least going to give you a show, hopefully.

All right, queens.

-No, no, no. -Come with me.

I'm either dressed for an inauguration

or I'm dressed for an assassination.

So we will see.

RuPaul: Welcome back, ladies.

I've made some decisions.

Widow Von'Du.

Jackie Cox.

The time has come...

for you to lip sync

for...

your...

life!

Jackie Cox, shantay you stay.

Widow Von'Du, sashay away.

I feel like I let you down.

You did not let me down.

[cries] Thank you for this amazing opportunity.

I don't think I have one inner saboteur.

I have several inner saboteurs.

One wants to be angry and defend myself.

The other one wants to cry and hide away.

And there's one that's just defeat,

and that one's the biggest one of all.

It's the one that's all the way in the back,

that just waits for its one moment to strike.

I knew it was coming.

Ugh.

Now, I know you're not gonna see

a lot of me doubting myself,

and I don't know where it really came from.

Because I walked in and I felt, you know,

like, yes, bitch, I might be.

I'm that bitch.

At some point down the line I got in my own way

and couldn't move my big ass out of the way.

They must have knew I was going to need these.

[laughs]

I agree wholeheartedly that I was standing in my own way

and not letting my light shine.

Goodbye, werkroom.

Ugh.

Bye, nine pictures of RuPaul.

I guess just like the way I came in.

Relax your throat, bitches.

We've just begun, and you're still gagging.

This is only the tip.

[laughs]

At the end of the day,

you have to have the experience,

you gotta learn things.

I thought I was so much stronger

than the dark demons that I've held back

for many a year,

you know, and I hope that one day

I get another chance to redeem myself.

That's my goal.

But right now,

I'm going to remind myself one more again

that I'm that bitch.

Widow motherfucking Von'Du.

[laughs]

Whenever you are in doubt,

rub them fucking thighs together

and remember who the fuck you are.

Now, can you take me

to go get something that's fucking greasy to eat?

I'm tired of eating healthy-ass food.graphic / disclaimer

♪ I am American, American, American ♪

♪ I am American, American ♪

♪ The red, white, and blue ♪

♪ I am American, American, American ♪

♪ I am American, American ♪

♪ Just like you, too ♪

♪ Am-Am-Am-Am-American, American, American ♪

♪ I am American, American ♪

♪ The red, white, and blue ♪

♪ I am American, American ♪

♪ Just like you, too ♪