Original subtitles

RuPaul: Previously, on RuPaul's Drag Race...

You get to star in Madonna: The Unauthorized Rusical.

♪ God bless the gays ♪

♪ God bless the gays ♪

♪ God bless the children ♪

Heidi.

What was kind of missing was Madonna.

Brita.

You did mess up here and there and it kind of threw you off.

Gigi Goode.

You embodied Madonna the most.

Con-drag-ulations.

You are the winner of this week's challenge.

Heidi, shantay you stay.

Brita, sashay away.mirror?

Pblblblblbl.

I just had to lip sync against Brita and I sent her home

and it's sad.

"Sis, share the joy, XO.

Brita, bitch."

-Brita, bitch! -We love you, Brita!

We love you.

It's okay.

I'm so sad.

I know how badly Brita wanted this

and she's one of my best friends

and it just sucks to see her go.

-Bye, bitch. -To Brita.

Brita is one of my best friends in the world.

I see how much Brita tries, and it just sucks

to see somebody that you care about

have their dream stripped away from them.

Gigi, you've won three times.

This is incredible.

Third time's the charm, honey.

Third time's the-- Well, hopefully

there's gonna be a fourth, a fifth, a sixth.

Oh, a fourth, a fifth, a sixth?

I'm so happy that you won,

but I'm really surprised that, Jan, this wasn't your week.

I'm...

I'm frustrated because this is, like, what I do.

I'm a singer, I dance, I perform.

Like, that's my thing.

I want to win those challenges.

I want to win a challenge,

and I thought that this was gonna be the one.

I really wanted that win.

I'm frustrated, I'm angry, I'm crushed.

When Jan was called safe,

I could see on her face it was, like, girl.

Not only did I not win the challenge,

but my best friend just went home.

So I'm like...

It sucks.

It really sucks.

Like, but the worst part about it

is that my best friend just went home.

Yeah, she's a little salty that her friend left.

But I'm thinking she's a little bit more upset

that she had not won this challenge.

Everyone back at home is gonna be so upset that she went home,

and at least if there was any consolation,

it could have been that I would have won this challenge.

And it just--it sucks.

I think this is a build-up of weeks and weeks

of her not breaking through to the judges.

She also says she's really upset about Brita,

but I think it's more that she's upset

that neither her nor Brita

have been able to live up to their reputations.

We're just gonna have to keep pushing ourselves.

You have to keep selling what you do the best

every challenge, no matter what the challenge is.

Every bitch thinks that they gonna be that star

and they gonna be that bitch,

and they gonna win, win, win, win. win.

Child, look, we all wanna win this competition.

Aah! My nails!

I hope the girls aren't getting too cocky

about the challenge wins,

because the race is still on,

and we all know that the big battle happens at top four.

Just like the almighty black widow spider,

she sneaks up on a bitch

and the next thing you know, you're dead.

And now I'm laying eggs in the bitch.

No. [laughs]

RuPaul: The winner of RuPaul's Drag Race

receives a one year supply

of Anastasia Beverly Hills cosmetics

and a cash prize of $100.000.

With extra-special guest judge Chaka Khan.

♪ RuPaul's Drag Race ♪

♪ May the best woman ♪

♪ Best woman win ♪end teaser

Yes. Hi, America!

This morning, I feel fine.

I had a very emotional week last week.

Maybe the girls see that as a weakness,

but, bitch, I'm from New York.

I cry about it, I get over it,

and I'm focused on the next challenge.

Hello, hello, hello!

-Hi! -Hi!

Ooh, I love this outfit!

Why, thank you. It is a Klein Epstein & Parker suit.

That's all I wear.

[all laugh]

Ladies, when this competition is over,

you'll always be bosom buddies.

And who else but a bosom buddy

will sit down and tell you the T,

as in, girl, your makeup is terrible.

-Ooh. -Oh!

But I've got just the thing to make it better.

♪ Oh, Pit Crew ♪

-Oh! -Oh!

Ladies, for today's mini-challenge,

you'll be pairing up to share the gift of shade

and so much more.

Now, using these wonderful products provided by FabFitFun,

you need to curate a box for your bosom buddies.

Uh-huh.

And then you'll exchange gifts and share the love,

with a whole lot of shade on the side.

Bitch, okay.

Now, I'm going to pair you up.

Gigi Goode and Jackie Cox.

Come on over here.

Crystal Methyd and Jaida Essence Hall.

Come home, honey.

Simply Jan and Simply Heidi.

Which means the Widow Von'Du and Sherry Pie

are together at last.

Okay, ladies, you've got 15 minutes

to get into quick drag, stuff those boxes,

and get ready for a bosom buddies kiki.

[laughs]

Ready, set, skiddly-pop!

Oh, these boxes are so cute!

What do we have here?

Get that hat.

This hat right here?

Snatch a pair of these glasses, too.

Yes, get some glasses.

Body lotion for their dry personalities.

-Oh, oh! -All right, let's become ladies.

It's time to be pretty.

Jan, you promise you won't cry if you don't win this one?

Oh, shit.

Yeah, I don't know what you guys are talking about.

Time's up, ladies.

First up, Gigi and Jackie,

you'll be kiki-ing with Crystal and Jaida.

-Oh, my goodness. -Oh, my God.

The circus is in town. Hello, ladies.

Maybe black is just a lot more slimming

than whatever those colors are.

Yeah, I just like to be a little bit more exciting, I guess.

Yeah, well, something's gotta make up for the personality.

[all laugh]

So we have a little gift.

Oh, we curated a box from FabFitFun.

Well, that is so crazy,

because we also curated a box for you from FabFitFun.

Oh, well!

Crystal, now, I know the judges are always saying

that your makeup is just, um, terrible.

So I got you the Season One filter, okay?

It's just a towel that you put over the lens of the camera.

Thank you.

Miss Jaida, I got something for you, too.

Now, listen, I got you this lotion.

Oh, it is perfect.

And it's cruelty-free,

unlike your performance as Cardi B in the Snatch Game,

which was really cruel for us to watch.

-[laughs] -Stop it!

Gigi, I got you this face-purifying cleanser,

so you can wash both of your faces.

But which face is it,

the face of the one win or the other win?

Or maybe it's the third win!

Or the no-win!

[all laugh]

Sister, I've always told you you were so beautiful,

and you're like a work of art to me.

You know that one where they're like, aah!

Screaming, yes, honey.

So what I did was I wanted to frame your face a little bit.

I bought you these beautiful sunglasses.

Try 'em on really quickly?

Gorgeous! Oh!

And look, you've never looked more beautiful, Jaida!

Oh, this has been so fun.

Well, you guys have a great day.

We're gonna say goodbye.

-Goodbye, ladies. -Goodbye, girls.

-Sluts. -Ugh, whores.

[all laugh]

Next up, Heidi and Jan.

You'll be kiki-ing with Widow and Sherry.

-Hi! -Hello!

It's so nice to see you.

Well, um, we actually curated this box

from FabFitFun for you ladies.

-Isn't it cute? -You're so kind.

Well, somebody has to be kind to you.

Because life has not been at all.

We also curated a box from FabFitFun just for you.

-Yes! -Oh, how fabulous!

Sherry, you're just such a strong, independent

and handsome drag queen, so I just got you this blanket.

Wow, it's very heavy.

Just like you.

[all laugh]

Heidi, I know that you got a lot of shit

from pretty much everyone about how busted your mug is.

So I felt I should get you a new mug.

[all laugh]

Try not to crack this one.

Miss Widow, I actually got you some luggage,

you know, to help you pack when you get sent home.

-[snorts] -Yet I've been safe, mostly.

Safe. Just coasting, yes.

-[laughs] -Oh, bitch!

My darling, I know how much you've been struggling

with your best friend leaving the competition.

At least I have some friends.

And so I got you this lovely terrarium.

I thought we could put some plants in it,

and you could water it with your salty crocodile tears.

[all laugh]

This was so lovely to catch up.

Give us a call...

-Never. -Never.

[all laugh] Bye, girls!

Wow. You were all so giving.

The winners of today's mini-challenge are...

Jackie Cox and Gigi Goode.

-Oh! -Sister!

Con-drag-ulations.

FabFitFun is providing $1.000

and a one-year subscription to you both.

-Fabulous. -Thank you.

I finally won a mini-challenge!

Look it's not the challenge win,

but I'll take that $1.000 gift card.

Ladies, Drag Race turns queens into stars,

and today's biggest stars

create their own lifestyle, beauty, and wellness brands.

So for today's maxi-challenge,

you need to think like a star,

and create a ridiculously extravagant

and totally unnecessary product

for a new drag queen lifestyle brand we're calling Droop.

[all laugh]

#DragRace.

Now, after you create your posh product,

you need to sell it in your own commercial.

Now, I shop at Droop all the time.

[beep beep beep beep] Oh, what is that--

Oh, it's time to pull out the solid gold goose egg

that I keep, um, between me down there.

-Oh! -Oh!

It helps keep my biorhythms in sync with the stock market.

Thanks, Droop.

[all laugh]

Now, gentlemen, start your engines,

and may the best woman win.

[beep beep beep beep] Oh, it's beeping again!

[laughter and applause]

This challenge is all about personality

and selling yourself,

and coming off of last week,

I have to show the judges what makes me special.

We will see if I achieve that.

♪ Dun-dun-dun ♪end act

Child.

Y'all ready to sell your brand?

For this week's maxi challenge, we have to come up

with an over-the-top, upper echelon product.

They're asking for a whole hell of a lot,

and it is going down now.

This challenge is so opposite of me.

Like, this is for, like, bougie rich people.

And Heidi, I made $9.000 last year.

Working where?

At my job at a gas station.

Just nine?

-Oh, my God. -Yeah.

The upper echelon.

I don't even know how to spell "echelon."

[laughs]

Girl.

Hey, kitty girls.

-Hey! -Hi.

We got company.

Hi, everybody.

Give a big Drag Race welcome

to health and fitness guru Bob Harper.

-Hello! -Hi!

Bob's here to help me help you.

Sickening.

Well, hello, Miss Heidi.

You know, you have done very well

in the personality department in this competition.

How are you gonna infuse Heidi into this product?

My brand is Heidi's Multipurpose Lotion.

[whistles] Soft and supple.

[laughs]

Thank God for that gap between your teeth

so you can say that right.

Oh, honey, it's come in handy many a time.

Now, there's a lot of products called soft and supple.

-Is there? -Yeah.

You need to get yo ass out of Ramseur.

[laughs]

So you are you saying that Heidi's Lotion is hei-drating?

That could be my new name.

Did you not think of "Hydrating Heidi?"

-No, I did not, actually. -Oh, my goodness.

Is that trademarked now by you?

It's not, but I'll see yo ass in court.

-[laughs] -When you're selling something,

you've gotta take that name and what your product is,

and you've gotta somehow meld those two worlds together,

so when people are thinking of their product,

they have Heidi's face in mind.

Now, Heidi, you were in the bottom last week.

You haven't won any challenges yet.

You better get out there, and you better act yo ass.

All right, I can't wait.

-All right, thank you. -Thank you, mwah, mwah.

I'm not a thief, Mama Ru.

Imma give you 2.3% of all Heidi Hydrate sales.

I think that's a generous deal,

and I'm looking forward to doing business with you, partner.

[laughs]

-Hi, Widow. -Hi, Ru.

-Meet Bob Harper. -Hi, Bob. Nice to meet you.

So, now, what is your product?

My brand's called Throaté,

my revolutionary throat-coating spray,

because you're gagging.

Do you have a gag reflex?

I mean, you don't get to be this size

and, you know, can't shove things down your throat.

[all laugh]

Now, does it have more than just one use?

Yes, it does.

It could be used as a setting spray, mace.

Maybe you wanna do

some extracurricular activities and need to--

Okay. All right.

Now, Widow, so far you won one challenge.

You haven't won any since.

What do you think has held you back?

I...

Quite honestly, I don't know.

What I have to do

with everything that I brand myself with

is really stay true to who I am.

Just make sure you bring the funny.

Ru says I haven't touched the top in a while.

That's pretty much

all the shit I'm thinking about right now.

I'm feeling some type of way.

Like, I didn't come here

just to, you know, fade in the background.

-Hi, Jan. -Hi, Ru.

Tell me about your product. Tell me what you got.

My product is called Sure, Jan.

If you feel like Jan Brady

and you wanna be a little more Marsha,

then, girl, we just gotta spritz,

and then you're feeling the Jan-tasy.

You could really attract a whole group of people

that are kind of like, you know, the quiet little person

that goes, "I wanna be just like Jan."

Now, you came close to winning last week.

-I did. -And you got very emotional.

I did. I was upset

to see one of my best friends leave.

It's--it's sad.

It's not RuPaul's Best Friends Race.

-It's not, and that's why I'm-- -You gotta think like a winner.

If anything, it's a good thing that Brita's gone,

because now I don't have to worry about her.

And now that she's gone,

I'm really gonna push it to the judges.

Just make sure you bring the funny, okay?

-I will, I will. -All right.

We'll see you out there.

-See ya, Jan. -Bye, guys.

Hey, J. Cox.

What is your product?

Jackie's Magic Carpet Merkins.

So I see that you've taken the Middle Eastern theme

and you've run with that.

I ran with it, and growing up, there isn't

very much Middle Eastern representation,

at least in things that I could watch on TV.

But in the very first episode of I Dream of Jeannie,

Barbara Eden actually speaks Persian.

Really?

So for me, that was like, oh, my God,

I know what she's saying, you know.

And it was this moment

I'd never seen anyone

who spoke Persian or Farsi on TV before.

So I fell in love with that character.

Barbara Eden played the character of the genie

in I Dream of Jeannie.

I love her as an icon,

and I really admire the way she's embraced

the character of Jeannie now 50 years later.

Why would someone need a merkin?

Well, you know, sometimes the between-me-down-theres

don't get enough attention.

And sometimes, you can really zhuzh it up

with a Magic Carpet Merkin.

This is the type of challenge

that seems to me it's either gonna go so well,

or it is going to crash and burn.

Mm.

So it's like it's gonna be really interesting

to see you sell this merkin.

We'll see you out there.

-Thanks, you guys. -Thank you.

Now listen up, ladies.

In a few moments you'll be filming your Droop commercials

with the help of Bob Harper.

And tomorrow on the main stage

we'll be joined by our extra-special guest judge,

the legendary...

Chaka Khan.

-Aah! -Oh, my God!

Chaka Khan! Ha!

My heart is beating so fast.

I'm, like, salivating over here.

All right, good luck, and don't fuck it up.

-Come on, Bob. -Bye, guys.

Chaka Khan!

What?

My commercial, without a doubt,

has to be funny as shit.

I'm not going down in front of Chaka Khan.

I am gagging.end act

Hi, Jackie Cox.

Hello!

Let's do this.

It's time for me to film

my green screen commercial with Bob Harper.

I'm ready for this.

All right, so we have 20 minutes.

You can use the Pit Crew,

you can use any of the furniture provided by Objects.

Great, let's set the scene.

I need this big chair, and then I need my pillows.

You only have 20 minutes.

You are dealing with a director and a lot of cameras.

You have to know exactly what you want

and how you want it all to go down.

So you're gonna be my little harem boy just fanning me.

-Oh! -That's your character.

Own that.

I'm feeling like I'm in a genie bottle right now.

Exactly. This is what we're going for here.

Action.

Introducing Magic Carpet Merkins!

And then we'll cut, and then I need someone

to set the merkins while I hold this position.

And then they'll appear when you hit play again.

What's going on? I mean, what?

Being a fan of 1960s television,

I do love the stop, pause, and reset old-school TV magic.

But Bob's just kind of confused.

Hard cut, sound effect, poof, I'm a genie.

Oh.

I'm hard cutting like it's the sixties, baby.

You really are.

I mean, I get it now.

Barbara Eden, Elizabeth Montgomery, send me help!

Now that we know your vision, my darling,

let's do another take.

Introducing Jackie's Magic Carpet Merkins!

So if someone can grab those merkins

and set them on this table.

Bryce.

I'll just keep holding.

Standing here frozen, waiting for those merkins.

Bryce, run!

By all means, move at a glacial pace.

We are just pausing the camera, moving the things into frame,

and restarting the camera,

just like they did it in the old days.

[laughs] And action.

[gasps]

[laughs]

Oh, my God, that's great.

Okay, Gigi, we've got 20 minutes.

What are we gonna do?

Well, my product is called Goode Night Bitch.

It's a fragrance that doubles as a highly potent sleeping aid.

Okay. Knock me out.

Introducing RuCo Labs' newest fragrance and sleeping aid,

Goode Night Bitch.

And cut.

Good?

Um, I like it.

Do it one more time.

Give me something different with "Goode Night Bitch," okay?

I mean, make Goode Night Bitch sound just even more important.

Okay.

Introducing RuCo Labs'

newest fragrance and sleeping aid,

Goode Night Bitch.

I feel like it's working, Gigi. I feel sleepy.

I mean, you're very statuesque.

I just need the statue to move a bit.

-Hi, Bob! -How are you, honey?

Baby, I'm good, ready to shoot this commercial.

Yeah?

This is gonna be the winning one.

-It is? -For sure. It's fun.

Here we go.

Hey, girl, it's the high-energy, high-belting bitch

from Season 12.

Wow, Jan-tastic!

Wow.

All right, just know this.

You're coming off very intense right now.

Okay.

So it's like I want a couple of different levels, all right?

-You got it. -Take a breath.

-You got it. -Action.

Hey, everyone!

Introducing the all-enhancing spray

to make your simple life Jan-tastic.

Breathe, Jan. Breathe, honey.

I'm sorry.

That's okay. Next scene, what do we got?

When I say one, throw it on me,

and then on three, I'll drop

so that it looks like it's raining as I'm going down.

Oh, God, are you really gonna drop?

Oh, yeah, girl. We getting down there.

Aah! Be careful!

Let's do it!

Oh! My head hurts!

I am truly throwing everything but the kitchen sink at Bob

to show him my personality.

Are you okay?

-I'm great. -Wait, how many fingers?

-Two. -[laughs]

And action.

Oh, hey, bitch, it's Jaida Essence Hall.

Now, I know what you're thinking.

[lower volume] Damn, she's snatch.

And you're right, I am.

Wait, wait, wait, hold on one second.

You hit your mic. Don't--

-Oh shit. -Don't hit your chest.

Okay, gotcha, thank you.

Now, I know what you're thinking.

Damn, she's snatch.

And you're right, I am.

Oh, fuck.

[laughs]

I'm sorry. I know what you're thinking.

Damn, she's snatch.

Don't hit your mic.

-Oh, I keep-- -Yeah, I know, I know.

It's like Celine Dion, honey, I get it.

I wanna do it, too.

Now, I know what you're thinking.

Damn, she looks snatch.

And you're right, I am.

Beautiful. Moving on.

The artist formerly known as Heidi N Closet.

Yes.

Now, are you gonna be using any of the furniture,

any of these things over here?

Yes, a pedestal here for my lotion.

And where's the lotion?

The lotion.

She puts the lotion in the basket.

She puts the lotion in the basket.

On the skin, or else she gets the hose again.

[laughs]

So let's get all the narration first, okay?

-Okay, yes. -Action.

Are you tired of your skin being--

Ooh, take two.

Are you tired of your skin being thirsty and dry?

Are you tired of not having so much of a tight downstairs?

Cut. Big, honey, big and funny.

-Okay. -Sell it.

Sell it, honey, just like on the corner.

Heidi is so funny,

but she's making me laugh in between takes.

As soon as you stop delivering your lines,

you are cracking me up.

Give me more of what you're giving

when the camera turns off on-camera.

Okay. On-camera.

-You got that? -Yes.

Forget about everything and just let loose, Heidi.

-Go, girl. -Let loose, let loose.

Now introducing Heidi's Hydrate multipurpose lotion.

Yes!

Made from tears of a drag queen.

[sobs]

Just get in there. Oh, God!

Mama gots a lot of personality,

and if that's what they want on camera,

that's what I'm gonna give 'em.

Oh!

Oh, the girl's gonna cry.

My Tyra Banks.

Get in there. I gotta make money.

Oh, I got 13 cents in my bank account.

Oh, God!

[whimpers]

She's an actress.

She really is right there.

Widow Von'Du, Throaté.

Sounds like it could be really fun and super exciting.

It's gonna be all about your delivery.

All right, action.

I am Widow Von'Du, humanitarian.

Oh, fuck. I forgot the first couple lines.

Cut, let's start again.

I'm a little nervous,

and so I'm a little demure for the first take,

because I'm trying to just remember the shit I wrote.

Relax, and action.

Throaté is GMO-free, cruelty-free...

Oh, forgot the next line. [laughs]

Oh, my Jesus.

I'm nervous as shit.

Just sell it for me.

[clears throat]

I want to remember everything I wrote,

but Ru's words are sitting right on my frontal lobe.

Throaté.

Fuck. I can't remember.

So let me just remind you

that your Droop ad needs to be memorable, impactful,

and it needs to reflect your brand.

I love what you have on, by the way.

Thank you. Me, too.

All right, let's start. Wow me.

Mm, mm. Oh, yeah.

The Magic Mullet!

Okay, perfect. Um--

Wait, what's happening?

Well, I wanna start and then kind of cut to the B-roll,

because I don't really have anything to fill in my vision.

Okay, honey.

Now, I worked with a team of scientists

to create a product

that will turn you into a fierce bitch like me

in a matter of seconds.

I need just a table that we can do science on.

[laughs] Is that a science table, Crystal?

Oh, hot.

Hurry! I am running around

like a chicken with its head cut off.

Hmm.

I've gotta scramble and get all these shots filmed,

because if I don't,

this commercial is gonna make no sense.

You got seven minutes left. We gotta power through it.

Wow, Crystal, you're so gorgeous and confident.

Try to be a little different.

You're still giving me Crystal, okay?

Wow. Wow, Crystal.

[both laugh] I like it.

Wow, Crystal, I wish I could be

as gorgeous and confident as you.

Sounds like Cher. [laughs]

I think that was it?

I don't really exactly know what that was.

At the end of my shoot,

I'm pretty sure that I got all the shots that I need,

but who knows?

If not, this commercial is not gonna make any sense.end act

Here we go!

It's my wedding day. I'm getting married.

It's another day, honey.

[hums The Wedding March]

So today's elimination day,

and somebody has to take their ass home.

It's our wedding day!

[cheering]

Today's runway theme is Black Wedding.

I'm really excited for this runway.

I know that the other queens have gone very expensive gowns,

and my take is a little bit different,

and I'm hoping that it pays off.

Jan, how are you doing?

I'm good.

I feel like last week

obviously was a very emotional week for me,

and I also wanna say, like,

I was just upset about Brita leaving

because I have such a high respect for her.

I don't want people to think

that I'm upset that I didn't win,

because I'm genuinely upset the most about Brita leaving.

I've known Brita for years.

I have looked up to her since the first day

that I started doing drag in New York City.

We competed against each other

and from that day, she's always been such a cheerleader for me.

I know the other girls

don't have the same relationship that we do,

which is why I'm so emotional about it.

Because I know the tremendous amount of pressure

and stress and effort that she puts into her drag.

I'm not denying that I was, like,

not thrilled that I didn't win.

It just makes me wanna work harder and show the judges

that I'm not just somebody who's gonna do well in a musical.

I can do well in different elements of this competition.

And I think I did that this week.

When Jan's frustrated and in her head about things...

[high pitched voice] she jumps into this little voice,

and you can tell that all of a sudden things aren't going well.

I think this competition has shaken her.

I'm so happy, all my Season 12 sisters.

Talking about sisters,

anybody think that they can do a good impression

of one of your sisters?

[imitating Jan] Um, hey, guys.

Really emotional this week.

Aah!

[imitating Jan] Okay, everybody, I'm so excited,

we're in the workroom again today.

Are you feeling the Jan-tasy?

Oh, my God, I'm just here living my fantasy.

I know I look like a woman.

Aw! [all laugh]

What's happening in here, girls?

We're doing-- do you have any impressions

of any of the cast members?

[imitating Crystal] Well, I don't really have

any impressions of anyone except for Crystal Methyd.

[all laugh]

Oh, my God.

Look, I'll be Aiden.

[laughs]

-Oh! -Did she just...

The ghost of Henny.

[imitating Aiden] Boo!

[RuPaul laughs]

♪ Cover girl, put the bass in your walk ♪

♪ Head to toe, let your whole body talk ♪

And what?

Welcome to the main stage of RuPaul's Drag Race.

Michelle Visage, are you buying what I'm selling?

Well, baby, you know me.

If I can't sell it, I'm just gonna sit on it.

[all laugh]

-Miss Ruth Brown. -Yes.

The hilarious Ross Mathews.

Now, Ross, do you ever shop on Droop?

Only if I have a Droopon.

That stuff's expensive, Ru.

[all laugh]

And my friend Chaka Khan. Tell me something good.

Um...

a lot of money.

[all laugh]

We love you. Thank you so much for coming.

Thank you for having me here.

It's a pleasure to be here with you.

This week we challenged our queens

to create a sickening product

for the new drag lifestyle brand Droop.

And tonight on the runway, category is Black Wedding.

Ooh.

Gentlemen, start your engines, and may the best woman win.

Category is Black Wedding.

Why it gotta be wedding?

[all laugh]

First up, J. Cox.

Michelle: She's making a very veiled threat.

Jackie: My inspiration is a beautiful bride

waiting for her husband to come back from war.

Johnny, are you coming back?

I received the letter. He's been killed in combat.

The Black Wedding has become a funeral

Chaka: She's a good actress.

RuPaul: Yeah, I think she's looking for Godot.

Jan. Simply Jan. She looks gorgeous.

Ross: Ma'am, there's no smoking in here.

[all laugh]

Jan: I am dressed in so many layers

of organdy, crinoline, sparkle, shimmer.

I'm feeling my Jan-tasies hardcore.

I take my ring off

and I flip this entire wedding on its head.

-Oh! -Oh!

Ross: Oh, that's gonna hurt coming out.

Chaka: I love "I don't."

-Uh-huh. -Take that, Melania.

RuPaul: Jaida Essence Hall.

Michelle: Oh, she's rich.

Black diamonds are forever.

Chaka: Yes, darling.

Jaida: I am a trophy wife, honey.

I am coming out here, I finally got this fat-ass ring

that I have been waiting for all of my life.

I'm just ready to walk down this aisle and get this money--

I mean man.

RuPaul: Guess who's black in the house?

[all laugh]

Ross: She's a nice gay for a black wedding.

[all laugh]

RuPaul: Gigi Goode.

Oh, my God.

-So pretty. -So gorgeous.

Gigi: My silhouette is inspired

by the classic Christian Dior New Look.

I'm cinched in at the waist

and then just jutting out at the hips.

I have my tiny little wedding ring

that you just have to squint to see,

because I can't over-accessorize

in this type of look.

RuPaul: She loves some black tulle,

but who doesn't?

[all laugh]

Sherry Pie...

in the library with the candlestick.

[all laugh]

Ross: Got a light? [all laugh]

Sherry: My bride may or may not be dead.

Letting the candle lead me

through the hallways of my dilapidated old mansion.

She is looking for her wedding,

but thank God she's got a candle,

because it's dark in here.

Ross: Michelle, can you candle this?

[all laugh]

Michelle: I don't think I can candle this.

Whoo!

RuPaul: Heidi.

Ross: Tiara? I hardly know ya.

RuPaul: Heidi is the new black.

Chaka: Heidi's the new black.

Heidi: I've chosen this elegant black gown.

It has this big cold shoulder piece that wraps around me

and, you know, makes me feel secure,

because it's my wedding day.

All eyes are on me at my wedding.

Can't nobody takes my day away from me.

RuPaul: She done already done drove hearses.

[all laugh]

The Widow Von'Du.

Michelle: She got a standing bovation.

RuPaul: She looks like Mary Wilson a little bit.

Kinda-sorta. I could see it.

Widow: I am wearing this sequined gown

with this beautiful, giant train.

And then when I take off that mask, boom, bitch.

Look at them eyes.

She ain't got no soul.

Michelle: Peek-a-Ru.

Ross: She's registered at Bed, Black, and Beyond.

Michelle: Yes!

RuPaul: Crystal Methyd.

Ross: She is dying to get married.

Chaka: Oh, Lord have mercy, yes.

Crystal: I'm serving an undead bride

who just dug her way out of her grave to find her love.

I am loving my character.

My gloves are even ripped at the fingertips

because when you die, your nails keep growing.

I'm covered in dust.

I think I look drop-dead gorgeous.

Ross: Um, there's a shampoo for that.

Michelle: Death becomes her.

[RuPaul laughs]end act

Welcome, ladies.

It is time for the judges' critiques.

First up, Jackie Cox.

Let's take a look at your Droop commercial.

When you're out at the discotheque,

does your Snatch Game gotcha down?

Is your hoo-hoo looking more ho-hum?

Well, Jackie Cox has the solution for you!

Introducing Jackie's Magic Carpet Merkins.

What is this merkin, you ask?

Jackie Cox has the answers for you!

A merkin is a wig for your very own cave of wonders,

originally worn by ladies of the night.

Hookers.

Jackie's Magic Carpet Merkins will spruce up any queen's look.

Plus that special man in your life can wear it, too.

Not there. There.

Jackie's Magic Carpet Merkins are a wish come true.

For you!

The carpets may not match the drapes.

Droop is not responsible for any rashes, hives, or gout

that may occur from using Magic Carpet Merkins.

Jackie Cox is not a genie, but don't tell her that.

[all laugh]

All right, Jackie, let's go to the judges.

Well, for starters, I think you look really beautiful.

I get who this woman is right away,

and I love that you were telling a story on the runway, too.

I actually really enjoyed your infomercial.

You had elements of old school in there with the "for you,"

and some really funny jokes that landed.

Your whole infomercial was thought out,

from the way you wrote it

to knowing that you were gonna turn to the camera

and have that be a gimmick.

-Well done. -I think you did a great job.

Did she make you wanna buy a merkin?

What is a merkin?

It's a vagina wig.

That's the best stuff I've learned this year.

[all laugh]

She's living the merkin dream.

That's right.

-Thanks, Jackie. -Thank you, RuPaul.

Up next, Jan, Simply Jan.

Hey, everyone, it's the high-energy, high-belting,

highly positive bitch from Season 12, Jan, Simply Jan.

Have you ever wanted to, ooh, feel the Jan-tasy?

Well, girl, now you can!

Introducing Sure, Jan, the all-enhancing spray

that'll make your simple life Jan-tastic.

Tired of being the boring, ugly sister

that can't get a buck?

Ooh. Sure, Jan.

Jan-tastic.

Tired of sounding like a fucked-up car motor?

Aah!

[glass shatters]

Sure, Jan.

♪ Ahh ♪

Jan-tastic.

Tired of sitting at home complaining

instead of doing something about it?

Sure, Jan.

Jan-tastic!

You can get Sure, Jan for $69, so what are you waiting for?

Feel the Jan-tasy with Sure, Jan.

Jan, you look so gorgeous tonight.

You look beautiful.

Thank you so much.

I love everything about this.

I would wear that to my wedding.

With your infomercial, between making you feel better

and then do a death drop,

then you're gonna be a better singer,

I think you tried to fit so much in

that it became convoluted.

Okay.

I loved the puns in your video.

-Thank you. -Everything with "Jan."

But you had so much energy

that it started at 100

and stayed there the whole time.

We need peaks and valleys,

because we don't know where to go,

and to follow you, we get exhausted.

Right.

It was a little woo-woo-woo-woo-woo.

Up next, Jaida Essence Hall.

Oh, hey, bitch, it's Jaida Essence Hall,

terrible actress from Gay's Anatomy

and world-famous rich drag queen.

Now, I know what you're thinking.

Damn, she looks snatch.

And you're right.

But why the hell am I really here?

Crotch got you down?

Lumpy, bumpy tuck?

Sticky mess and bubblegum crotch. Ouch!

Then you need the Luxuratuck.

At a modest $5.000 per pair,

these panties are sourced from the silk of rare tarantulas

found in the Glamazonian rain forest,

and made for strength, stretch, luxury,

and pulling back those little lady bits.

Anaconda? I don't even know her!

[all laugh]

Each Luxuratuck is crafted

with a diamond-encrusted monogram,

and offers anyone who wants

to let the world know that you are indeed that bitch.

Get snatched from the front all the way to the back,

with the Luxuratuck.

[all laugh]

I love this look.

Thank you.

Because it's so gorgeous.

I mean, any girl would want this dress,

and any man would want this dress, too.

You were so good in your infomercial,

because right out of the gate you made a joke

that let us know it was okay to laugh.

Terrible actress from Gay's Anatomy.

I think you're so frigging funny, bitch.

[all laugh]

That is so funny.

You hit the jokes where they needed to be,

so we actually had time to laugh and continue to listen.

You were actually selling a real product

that I would probably buy.

Well, you need one.

I do. [all laugh]

Up next, Gigi Goode.

Hi. I'm better than you.

And in the rare case you're anything like me,

you find it hard to get a good night's sleep

after a long day of competing

for the title of America's next drag superstar.

Introducing RuCo Labs' newest fragrance and sleeping aid,

Goode Night Bitch.

With subtle notes of lavender,

horse tranquilizer, and pine,

Goode Night Bitch is designed

to help you fall asleep faster and stay asleep longer.

[whispering] Possibly for days.

[crash]

For just $18.500,

or roughly the prize money

for three maxi challenges and two mini challenges,

you'll finally wake up feeling fully rested

and only slightly constipated.

Don't just wait to fall asleep.

Get knocked the fuck out.

Goode Night Bitch.

[snoring]

Tonight on the runway, my God.

Oof. Stunning.

You really do look like a picture.

Picture perfect.

Your infomercial just felt a little clunky,

and it's like you couldn't get your rhythm in it.

Goode Night Bitch.

And that's where some of the jokes were lost.

Like, even when you were listing the ingredients, right?

You wanna end on the funny one.

Okay.

There's pine, this,

and horse tranquilizer.

Oh, that's when we laugh.

Meh on the video.

Up next, I hope you all saved room for some Sherry Pie.

Nothing better to do than count your money?

I just have so much money!

I'm Sherry Pie,

and if you're tired of counting your money,

then, boy, oh, boy,

I have something that you can spend it on.

Sherry Pie's Aura Pie.

Sherry Pie's Aura Pie is all-natural,

guaranteeing to turn any aura from drab to fab.graphics

I don't know the answer to any of those questions,

but I do know how much it costs.

$350 a slice.

The newest, hottest treat for the financially elite.

Get yours now!

All right, let's go to the judges.

You're performing with such ease in the infomercial,

but then I realized we're about halfway through

before we get a joke.

-Yeah. -Right?

I don't know, it's like a racehorse.

You just sort of trotted the first half of the race.

You're not gonna win that way.

I just wanted more from you, especially in this challenge.

Tonight on the runway, however,

you gave us all of the extra more

that we were looking for.

It was all very beautiful.

Thank you.

Up next, Heidi.

Are you tired of your skin being thirsty and dry?

Are you tired of having a not-so-tight downstairs?

Now introducing Heidi's Hydrates multipurpose lotion,

made from... [whistles] silks and satins,

as well as tears of a drag queen...mine!

[wailing]

Oh, God!

Oh!

Get in there! [gasps]

Uses range from frying chicken

to waxing a car and vaginal rejuvenation.

Ooh!

Thank you.

All this can be yours for $699

and 96 cents.

Heidi's Hydrates may cause hair loss,

mood swings,

and uncontrollable flatulence.

[passes gas] Ooh. Excuse me.

Heidi's Hydrates.

Bitch, I told you it could cause hair loss.

[all laugh]

Tonight on the runway, I think this is a beautiful gown on you.

-Thank you. -Let me tell you,

that dress is cut

within an inch of all of our lives.

I mean, that's the cut for every woman.

You have this ability to show your heart.

And then we watch your video, and you're hilarious, too?

It's just so fun to see somebody who I instantly love

have all the goods to back it up.

The tear thing was hilarious,

the whistling through the teeth when you were speaking,

it was so funny and so much fun to watch.

-So Heidi. -Yes?

First of all, you know Imma sue your black ass.

Oh, well, here we go.

Lo and behold, this bitch done stole my idea.

That's a mark against you, but at the same time,

it's a mark for you, because you are listening.

You did really good, very funny.

But just keep this in mind.

I now own 51% of Heidi's Hydrates.

[all laugh]end act

Up next, the Widow Von'Du.

All right.

Hello, I am Widow Von'Du,

humanitarian, philanthropist, organ donor.

Are you wanting to be a Broadway actress?

Maybe a singer?

Maybe you want to do

some extracurricular activities this weekend.

Wink, wink.

Well, have I got good news for you.

I introduce to you

my revolutionary throat-coating spray Throaté,

because, bitch, you're gagging.

Every bottle has a nonlethal dosage of black widow venom,

just to give you

that extra little tingling sensation deep inside.

Throaté has so many different uses.

Mace.

Oh!

Setting spray,

or even cleaning the kitchen.

[squeaks]

[all laugh]

You can coat your throaté today,

because you're gagging, bitches.

Tonight on the runway, it was gorgeous.

I love the veil with the crystals.

That's hot.

I think that's really effective, mm-hmm.

In the infomercial,

I felt like you were just kind of sitting there

and matter-of-factly just kind of saying things.

I needed a whole lot more funny.

I don't know what happened.

You see what I'm seeing, though, right?

Yes.

What was missing from the infomercial was the joy.

Why do you think that happened?

I don't know. I really don't know.

It just seems like something is crushing me,

and I don't know what it is and it just--

it's keeping me from doing better.

I don't--I don't know.

This is where it gets really, really tough.

This is where all of the self-doubt and saboteur pops up

and tries to derail your path.

I really wanted to do well in front of the judges,

and especially in front of Chaka Khan.

I've waited forever to finally be in the presence of you--

Oh, bless you.

I wanted this. I wanted this so bad.

It's a bad review.

Don't take it too deeply to your heart.

This could be a turning point for you, you know that?

I see great promise in you.

Hear what she's saying to you, Widow.

Hear it and own it.

Really, because this is important.

Thank you.

Up next, Crystal Methyd.

[imitating Aiden] Boo.

[all laugh]

Oh, hey, it's me, Crystal Methyd, drag legend.

You know, people are always telling me...

Wow, Crystal, I wish I could be

as gorgeous and confident as you.

Well, I've been working on a project with a few scientists

that will turn you into a fierce bitch like me

in a matter of seconds: the Magic Mullet.

Made from a unique blend of hair

collected from the tails of squirrels and raccoons,

each headband is infused with our advanced Droop technology,

which releases hormones into the brain

to increase strength and sex drive.

The Magic Mullet is superabsorbent

and dishwasher safe, making it perfect for working out.

Don't waste years of your life

waiting for your hair to grow out

long and beautiful like mine,

because you could die at any minute.

What are you waiting for?

Wow, thanks, Magic Mullet.

The Magic Mullet gets the party started!

[all laugh]

I think this look is to die for.

[all laugh]

I'm, like, a horror film fanatic.

It all works. You look great.

Thank you.

Again, Crystal, we get to see

a different side of your makeup skills.

The Magic Mullet was really smart,

because you've heard Ru talk about your mullet,

and you played on something that you know he's obsessed with

and you just sold it.

It was hilarious.

My favorite shot was when you were hammering the wig.

[all laugh]

I just really wanted to let you all know

how silly and crazy I am, so--

-Oh, we know. -[laughs]

Thank you so much, Crystal.

Thank you.

All right, ladies.

Since we're all together,

I wanna ask each of you...

Who should go home tonight and why?

Let's start with Jackie Cox.

If one of us has to go home, I laughed the least at Widow's.

Jan, who do you think should go home tonight?

I would have to say Widow as well.

All right, Jaida.

I would also have to say Widow.

-Gigi? -I agree with my sisters.

I would say Widow.

-All right, Sherry. -Widow.

Heidi, what say you?

This is hard.

Say it.

She's one of my best friends here,

and it's tearing me up to say this.

This is solely based off the video.

All right, so, Widow,

who do you think should go home tonight and why?

The only other video I saw that was as bad as mine was Jan's.

All right, Crystal.

I've known Widow since I started doing drag.

I didn't see Widow in that video.

I would have to say Widow.

Thank you, ladies, for your honesty.

While you untuck backstage,

the judges and I will deliberate.

You may leave the stage.

All right, now just between us squirrel friends,

whaddaya think?

Let's start with Jackie Cox.

Jackie Cox's infomercial was a home run.

And it was clever, you know?

But you weren't familiar with the merkin.

No, I wasn't, and actually, it was an educational video.

[all laugh]

Jan.

She's like an excited kid who just wants to please.

And please she does. She's very talented.

I just think that Jan is gunning too hard,

and it's now coming back to bite her.

I just need her to take a breath.

Mm-hmm.

And kind of focus and fine tune.

Jaida Essence Hall.

She's hella funny.

She could be a comedian.

This girl is the dark horse of the competition.

Every single week we see another layer peeled away

and we see more and more Jaida.

Gigi Goode.

She just didn't have it in the infomercial challenge.

It just didn't work, bottom line.

-Yeah. -Or top line. I don't know her.

Yeah. [all laugh]

Sherry Pie.

In her infomercial, listen, it did not suck.

It just wasn't up to Sherry Pie level.

I don't think it was a terrible week for her,

but there may be some room for some of these other queens

to step in front of her in line.

Heidi. She surprised me,

because I didn't expect to laugh so hard at her infomercial.

[laughs] It was funny.

The unexpected twist in rhythm

that makes something really funny.

She's amazing.

She's going to go far.

Widow Von'Du.

She didn't do the very best commercial.

Wink, wink.

It came across as flat,

and we know Widow to be big and boisterous.

We've seen this before, right?

When a great queen has a lot of momentum

and maybe they start thinking

about their position in the competition,

and then that gets them out of actually winning.

Yeah. Crystal Methyd.

Crystal Methyd has done the biggest 180 in this competition.

That infomercial was frickin' hilarious.

She's one of my favorites, of course.

[imitating Aiden] Boo.

It's so exciting to see what's happened with Crystal.

Pay attention to that one. She's a threat.

All right, silence.

I've made my decision.

Bring back my girls.end act

Welcome back, ladies.

I've made some decisions.

Heidi, I loved your performance so much this week,

I wanna marry it.

Crystal Methyd, your mullets were magic,

and your zombie gave us life.

Jaida Essence Hall.

Your anaconda don't,

but your Luxuratuck do.

Thank you.

Jackie Cox, this week, your merkin was workin'.

Heidi, con-drag-ulations.

You are the winner of this week's challenge.

[applause]

Yay! I win!

Oh, bitch!

Heidi, you've won a cash prize of $5.000.

Thank you [whistles] so, so very much.

[all laugh]

Jaida, Crystal, Jackie, you are all safe.

The four of you may step to the back of the stage.

Gigi Goode, on the runway, you had a good night, bitch,

but your commercial was sleeper.

You're safe.

Thank you.

Widow Von'Du.

On the runway you were dazzling,

but your commercial did not leave us gagging.

I'm sorry, my dear, but you are up for elimination.

Sherry Pie. The judges ate up your runway look,

but your Aura Pie was a little undercooked.

Jan. We love your black wedding look,

but your commercial left us unsure, Jan.

Sherry Pie.

You're safe.

Thank you.

You may join the other girls.

Jan, I'm sorry, my dear, but you are up for elimination.

I don't wanna go home.

I have so much more to offer this competition.

I'm not going down without a fight.

Two queens stand before me.

Prior to tonight, you were asked to prepare

a lip sync performance

of This is My Night by the legend, Chaka Khan.

Ladies, this is your last chance to impress me

and save yourself...

from elimination!

The time has come... [thunder]

for you to lip sync

[echoing] for your life!

I am not going the fuck home.

Good luck, and don't fuck it up.

[music plays]

♪ I'm puttin' on my makeup ♪

♪ It's time to wake up ♪

♪ The owners of the night are calling me ♪

♪ I'm ready and I'm willing ♪

♪ To put out a happy feeling ♪

♪ Something special's in the air for me ♪

♪ The night is mine ♪

♪ I'm gonna keep it just right ♪

♪ Gonna let this magic shine, shine, shine, shine, shine ♪

♪ This is my night tonight ♪

♪ I'm gonna do it just right ♪

♪ I'm gonna let this magic shine ♪

♪ This is my night tonight ♪

♪ I'm gonna do it just right ♪

♪ I'm gonna let this magic shine ♪

♪ I feel like winning ♪

♪ I don't know the reason ♪

♪ Something telling me to let it ride ♪

♪ Got me rocking and reeling... ♪

Widow is really selling the words

and the emotion of this song.

I think Chaka Khan's soul has now entered Widow

and is coming alive on the stage.

♪ My, my, my, my night ♪

♪ This feels so right ♪

♪ I'm gonna do it just right ♪

♪ I'm gonna let this magic shine ♪

♪ This is my night tonight ♪

♪ I'm gonna do it just right ♪

♪ I'm gonna let this magic shine

♪ Tonight ♪

♪ This is my night ♪

I am pulling out my moves and dancing the house down,

showing the judges how badly I want to be here.

♪ This is my night ♪

♪ I'm gonna do it just right ♪

♪ I'm gonna let this magic shine ♪

♪ Let it shine ♪

♪ It's my night, my night ♪

♪ I'm gonna do it just right ♪

♪ I'm gonna let this magic shine ♪

♪ Shine ♪

[cheers and applause]

-Whoo! -Damn!

Ladies, I've made my decision.

Widow Von'Du, shantay you stay.

Widow, you may join the other girls.

Thank you.

Jan, you are simply fabulous,

and never forget that.

Now sashay away.

Thank you so much for this amazing opportunity.

I really did my best,

and I hope to make you proud in the future.

[applause]

America, world, thank you so much.

I hope you got to get to know me a little bit more,

and everyone, get ready to feel the Jan-tasy!

Bye.

[cheers and applause]

I made it. I got to RuPaul's Drag Race.

The most disappointing thing about being eliminated

is not making it to the top four.

I saw myself up there with the best girls.

One bad week, and it could be your time.

I'm just disappointed that this was my week.

I looked so good tonight! Damn!

Con-drag-ulations, ladies.

And remember, if you can't love yourself,

how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?

Can I get an "amen" in here?

-Amen! -Amen!

All right, now let the music play.

♪ I am American, American ♪

♪ The red, white, and blue ♪

♪ I am American, American ♪vote sign

♪ Just like you, too ♪disclaimer

RuPaul: Next time on RuPaul's Drag Race...

It's time for America's first drag queen president.

You vow to make America what again?

Glitter again.

The facts are her mullet is not even real.

Ooh!

Candidates, let's keep it civil.

If she cannot win the war against her beard,

how can she win the war for America?

She done already done had herses.

You're trying to become America's next drag superstar.

Now, I don't know what that's like.

[all laugh]

♪ I am American, American, American ♪

♪ I am American, American ♪

♪ The red, white, and blue ♪

♪ I am American, American, American ♪

♪ I am American, American ♪

♪ Just like you, too ♪

♪ Am-Am-Am-Am-American, American, American ♪

♪ I am American, American ♪

♪ The red, white, and blue ♪

♪ I am American, American ♪

♪ Just like you, too ♪