All language subtitles for Orange Is The New Black - 6x08 - Gordons.WEB.STRiFE.en

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Ladies and garbage, hope you
used your 36 hours of alone time

to think about exactly when and where
your lives went so horribly wrong.

If you didn't, don't worry.

We'll be coming around to remind
you that this is rock bottom.

Let's flip 'em.

They're coming! Fuck! They're searching.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

No, no. Not my hot sauce. Not today.

- That's your contraband?
- Don't you judge.

You're the dummy trying to Shawshank
her phone into a wall scratch.

This is not my phone.
I'm holding it for someone.

This hot sauce reminds me of my Nana
when she took me to the food bank

on the best Thanksgiving ever.

Some asshole tried to grab my tit.
She shot Tabasco in his eye.

- Well, there's only one option here...
- Dump it.

Prison purse. Avert your eyes.

So... how's Badison?

Any infection from that dirty shiv?
Sepsis, maybe?

That was some vicious, vicious stuff.

It looked like it went
in there pretty deep.

Any word on how the
attack's gonna affect us?

Longer lockdown? Another 12, 24 maybe?

Hmm.

Solitude is refreshment
for the soul, after all.

Naomi Judd said that. Wise.

Maybe another 48?

We ask the questions
around here, Chapman.

Yeah.

You're in here till
every inmate and bunk

has been thoroughly and
properly searched.

Dude, you just answered the question.

I wasn't specific.

Against the wall, Creech.

Inside the brace.

Like I would have
anything in my brace.

That's, like,
day-one-basic-bitch shit...

The brace, Vause.

My arm is broken. Just...

Ow.

Please. Ow!

Shoes off.

Found something.

Check out this hairball, dude.

This could be used to choke someone.
Nice try, Creech.

Back to your cell, inmates.

You okay?

Nope. Cap popped off.

With lockdown period over
for all applicable blocks,

recreation times will be
completely separated by block

until further notice.

Litchfield Maximum Security inmates
are to resume normal protocol,

per the T-1 Monday to Friday schedule.

You summoned me?

You know our lockdown is over, right?
You don't have to stay in here no more.

There's nothing for me out there.

Exes and junkies, oh, and my
boss who's about to find out

that her entire fucking
stash has been wiped out...

while she's going through withdrawal.

You still mad at me.

I'm mad that I'm fucked.

Listen, I'm sorry.
I didn't think it through.

I'm in so much pain half
the time, I didn't...

You got friends in C-Block, right?

Yeah.

I was thinking you could
make a buy off them.

Help out the block.

Is that how it works?
You can just do that?

No, you can just do that.

You came through with
people over there, right?

Right.

Look... I want to help, but, like,
I don't have that type of money.

Don't worry about the money.
I got you covered.

Incoming!

I got 36 hours worth of
lockdown mail right here.

More?

Letters, postcards, marriage proposals,

art, signed head shots
from non-celebrities.

Give me that.

Oh, and someone sent
you a prosthetic arm.

What?

Yeah. They said they believed in you
and they wanted to lend you a hand?

I thought it was cute.
Still had to confiscate it though.

I'm thinking of using it as a
robe hook for my bathroom door.

- Looks like you got a lot of fans.
- Yeah. And I got a lot of enemies, too.

They're just messing with you.

Which reminds me...

I managed to save this before
it went into the trash.

Looks like some sort of
interview request. I don't...

"ProPublica is a nonprofit that
uses investigative journalism

to spotlight injustice.

We are requesting an interview
with inmate Tasha Jefferson."

Don't know what I'm
supposed to do with this.

Well, it doesn't seem hard.

You want people to know you're
innocent, so you do the interview.

Wait. Can I even do an
interview in prison?

Shit! Uh, uh... Beth the
Babykiller did a Dateline ID.

Get your new lawyer on it.

I don't know, man. I don't know if I'm
the right person to be doing this.

What happened to the
old Tasha Jefferson?

The feisty one from back in the day?

- Yeah, that girl is...
- long gone.

Welcome to Storky's,

home of the all-new Biscuit
Burger and Gravy Bundle.

May I take your order, please?

Y'all not open?

No, sir.
We're just doing the window tonight.

Well, I'd like a large chicken sandwich

and one small container of 2% milk.

I'm sorry, sir, we don't
sell chicken here.

- Y'all don't sell chicken?
- Uh, no, sir. We do not.

No chicken nuggets or chicken fingers?
How about chicken strips?

Unfortunately, no, because it's
all in the chicken family.

If y'all don't sell chicken, then how
come there's a chicken on your sign?

Uh, sir, that's not a chicken.
That's a stork.

Well, let me have a
stork sandwich, then.

Girl, he want a stork sandwich.

- No, sir. We...
- No, you cannot. So, goodbye.

- Girl, what are you doing?
- Uh...

Oh, aw...

Now he drove off. That's why
there's only one Storky's left.

And you left the drink syrup out again.

It's...

For real? No wonder Wayne
gave you another citation.

Fuck Wayne!

Girl, you know, he
call that little space

behind that Method Man
cutout his office.

He was like, "You not pushing the
add-ons like the Gravy Bundles enough."

And then he was like...

"Yo, come on.

If you don't change your attitude,

I'mma write you up for being an
unhappy host. You want that?"

And what'd you say?

I was like,
"Bitch, of course, I'm an unhappy host.

Don't nobody want to be
working at fucking Storky's."

You did not say that. You are lying.

Oh, customer up.

Yeah, you're right. I was like,
"No, sir, Mr. Wayne, sir. Oh!"

Welcome to Storky's,

home of the all-new Biscuit
Burger and Gravy Bundle.

- May I take your order, please?
- Yeah. Can I get three Storky Dogs...

Three Storky dogs.

- ...eight Biscuit Burgers...
- Eight Biscuit Burgers.

...four Lil' Burgers and Bag O' Fries?

- That's it?
- Yeah, for sure.

That's it.

All right. Would you like to add
on Gravy Bundles for 99 cents?

- Sure.
- Uh-huh.

All right.
So your order will come to $21.34.

Drive to the window, please.

Hey... what's your name?

- There he go.
- There he go again.

- Tasha.
- Tasha.

Hey, Tasha... you sound cute.

- Is you cute?
- I don't know. Are you cute?

No, he is not cute.

- He's not?
- Mm-mm.

Ooh!

Oh, shit, you right.

But look at that guy in the passenger
side, though, he could get it!

He could definitely get it.

Why don't you ask him to come hang out?

Okay. All right, all right.

There you go. Thank you.

So...

Good night.

- The fuck, Tamika?
- Ow!

Hater!

What I was not gonna do was hang
out with driver side all night

while you flash those
dimples at passenger seat.

No. Uh-uh, no way.

Come on, they could have
made this night fun.

True.

But you know what else could
give us some fun tonight?

Fuck, yeah!

- Ah!
- Get it. Get it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So, even though I've completely
lost my sense of smell,

my hearing is incredible now.

You're not missing nothing. This
whole place smell like belly button.

It's like that saying, "When
life hands you lemmings..."

It's lemons, you idiots.
The saying, it's,

"When life hands you
lemons, make lemonade."

- Not where I'm from.
- Yeah, you don't know her experience.

- Hold up.
- In vet school,

we'd say, "When life hands
you lemmings, hand 'em back,

'cause those things got teeth."

Hold for entry.
Stand against the wall, inmates.

Dang, who you gotta
sex to get up in there?

Frieda.

She hiding in there
'cause someone out here

- got a real bandana against her.
- You mean, "vendetta."

Whichever one mean
someone want to beat your ass.

Yeah, I heard she started a gang war.

Like, before we were born. In the '80s.

And now she in there with the pudding.

While we're out here with the shit.

Hey, hey. Psst.
We need to talk about your roomie.

Tell me about it.

Do you know what I found
underneath her bed?

A pile of chewed-up fingernails.

I am serious.
I have a cell phone in my shoe.

No, you don't.

Yes, you do. Oh, God. Where?

I'm wearing a sock, a cell
phone and another sock.

Where did you get a cell phone?

Shh! Murphy. She tossed
it to me during the fight

and now I don't know what to do with it.

Well, where did she get a cell phone?

I may or may not have hinted to her
that Luschek is morally corruptible.

No, no, no, no, no. No.
This is how they get you.

This is a gateway cell phone.

You're a part of a gang now.
Are you a part of a gang now?

No. No.

No?

No question mark.
I told you she was a wily no-goodnik,

but you were like, "Relax, babe."

But now they're gonna drag you
into their dirty dealings.

And I'm almost done with my time here,
so I really gotta keep my nose clean.

But you know what I'm gonna do?

I'm gonna chase you straight to
the drama because I love you.

You need to relax, babe.

I felt bad for her.

She was... being shunned by Carol
for fucking up her drug supply.

She needed a new racket to save her ass.

Why doesn't Luschek ever
morally corrupt my way?

I gotta work on that.

Can I see it?

Are you crazy?
With the guards on high alert? Fuck no!

Please? I just wanna hold
it to my ear for a sec.

Feel the screen warmth.
I miss technology so much.

It's not happening.
Besides, it's only 17% battery left.

What did you do with all the battery?

We were on 36-hour lockdown.
Sue me for going down a Pinterest hole.

By the way, there were these
handcuff cake toppers.

They would've been perfect.

While I am jealous you got
to stare at Pinterest,

I think it's really cute that you
were looking at wedding stuff.

Can't keep me down.
Back in the building, bitches. What?

Beat it, Brock.

Carol... does this mean you
ain't mad at me no more?

No. You're still a fucking twit
for that stunt you pulled.

Okay, okay.

What if I told you that I
found us a new pot of gold

and the rainbow to slide in on?

Yo, Vause!

Oh, jeez. What did I tell you?

Gateway cell phone.
Alex, do not go over there.

Don't worry, I can handle this.

Why you walking like Igor?

My foot fell asleep.

Jump up and down. Get
that blood flowing.

I don't think jumping is
a great idea right now.

Fine, don't listen.
Live with your pins and needles.

Anyways, this is Vause,
who saved my ass.

She was my official hidey-hole.

Not like that, you perv.

That said, I'm sure, given the
chance, she'd take a run at it.

Trust me, Murphy, I wouldn't
even take a walk at it.

Have a seat.

I said move, Brock.

Hello, my name is Aleida,
and I'm here because...

Well... I used to look like you.

But these shakes?

Just three a day for three months
and I lost, like, 100 pounds.

Says 80.

Excuse me?

Oh! Yeah, yeah. They gave me
that, like, 20 pounds ago.

What can I say?
I can't stop losing weight.

Anyway, these shakes...
The best thing about them are

you don't have to think
about what to eat.

I like thinking about what
to eat. Then I like eating.

Not slurping down some weird fake food.

Yeah, but...

Our Joint Support Plus comes with

psyllium and glucosamine
and a bunch of other stuff

to help with wrinkles and other oldness.

Oh, here.
That's 90 tablets for just $29.99.

But today, I can go ahead and
give you two bottles for $50.

That is a special price. What?

Shellfish allergy.

"Crab and Shrimp"?

Hello, you gonna sell or what?

Hey there, is your mom home?

- Don't got a mom.
- Oh.

Well...

I'm kidding. She's out on the corner.

Uh, okay... Um...

Damn, I'm just kidding.
She's out selling fucking Arbonne.

So you can't get her in on
your janky pyramid scheme

'cause she's already in one.

Hey, you weird little brat!

Why you think your mom's out
there selling shit, huh?

For you! 'Cause she loves you and
you ruined her fucking life!

You little shit!

Bullshit.

This how you clean up?

Man, I scoured Visitation,
Law Library, Lost and Found

to get that shit for you.

You do wanna get pregnant, right?

I wanna get pregnant, not build a robot.

It's not exactly what we used
for bovine insemination class

in rehab number four,

but it's fairly close in
a MacGyver type of way.

Why are you helping me?

I don't know, all right? Boredom?
Budding God complex?

Maybe I just think it'd be
cool to create something good

in the middle of all this darkness.

By "middle of this darkness," I mean...

- My bush.
- Your bush.

Bingo.

So you go rig something together
to stick up where the babies grow.

And then all we need is some,
uh, piping hot man jizz.

It's still coming out of there piping
hot, right? It's been a minute.

I'll take that as a yes.

Yeah, I know this place.

If you don't give yourself
a task, it'll eat you up.

What do you do with the
mitten and the sock?

What is this rubber thing?

Oh, no, no. That one's for me.

Red.

Nicky... what are you doing over here?

Uh... I'm trying to get Blanca pregnant.

Oh, you finally grew a dick, did you?

Ah, there she is.

What's going on with you?

I don't need my kitchen to stew.

Who is it this time?

Frieda. She let me take
the fall for her bunker

and now she's living
better than all of us

with the pudding and the
oranges in fucking Florida.

Don't even get me started
on that... lemming.

Mmm-hmm.

Well, it's nice to see we're
both moving on. You know?

I'm impregnating people and you're
finding new people to hate.

Keep it moving, Nichols!

Listen... I miss you, Red.

I miss you too, my babushka.

More than you know.

And wrist rolls.

Roll it out. And wrist rolls.
Roll it out.

And step-touch, step-touch.

And punch. Punch.

Reach. Reach. And punch...

- I need Oxy.
- Reach.

- Wait, what?
- Pull. Pull.

Is this for you?

I don't fuck with that shit.
I'm trying to help a friend.

- And lasso back.
- They cut off D-Block's supply

and, right now, that shit's
hard to find. Know what I mean?

Let's churn the butter.
Churn the butter.

Churn the butter. Yeah.
Churn the butter.

Feels pretty good, right?

You know I can't help anyone from D.

- Pass that butter.
- They're gonna fuck me up.

I'm trying to start my
life on the outside.

Come on, man. I really need this.

You know I'm good for it.
Whatever you need, I got you.

Yeah, water that grass.

Do you ever clean the
visitation bathroom?

No.

But I could get assigned.

Now, freestyle cardio.

Feel the beat. Find the beat.
Catch the beat. Catch the beat!

Whoo!

Whoo!

Criss-cross, apple sauce, turn.

Hey, what the fuck?
Hey, where are you going?

We haven't even done cooldowns. Shit!

I think your moves were
turning them on too much.

Really?

Oh, wow.

Hey, wait, don't go. Wait.

They're gonna cancel the class.
I need this. You need this!

Not that much.

Hey, uh, your son, um...

How's it going with the
whole trepanation thing?

You remembered?

He's okay.

Wait, Luschek, you want
more people in this class?

This techno shit or whatever?
It gotta go.

You gotta get better music, like, um...

Some merengue. Mmm?
Reggaeton, salsa. You know?

Got it. Better music.

Where the fuck is she?

Oh, here.

Ugh! She smells like shit.

Be great if there was two
free inches around here

so I could change her.

You gotta move this stuff the fuck out.

It's like when I was living
in this guy's storage unit.

Can't go back to feeling
like that in my own house.

Apparently, nobody's ready to
lead the life they deserve yet.

I had the door slammed in my
face, like, 18 times today.

Then go somewhere with no doors.

All those pyramid people set
up outside the grocery store,

or right in the way on the sidewalk.

Good spots in the
neighborhood been taken.

And why we gotta be, like,
pyramid people? It's just sales.

You don't wanna end up
like my tia Graciela.

She got in bad with Mary Kay.
Owed 'em a fuck ton of money.

And she had 50 cases of bronzer
she couldn't get rid of.

No pink Cadillac at the
end of that rainbow.

This is healthy and nutritional shit.
I should be able to move it.

Mama, what you got is a magic pill,

and only sad, desperate
people fall for magic.

Pill magic anyway.

I saw David Blaine levitate, no shit.

You gotta find yourself
some sad, desperate people.

Too bad OTB shut down, right?

Okay. Okay.

Whoa, mama, okay.

With any high-profile case in media,
it's about what's reportable.

Let's stick to our core talking points,

keep it focused on your
personal experience

and say nothing you want
to keep off the record.

Privacy... officially dead.

And, of course,

if you're ever uncomfortable,
I'll step right in.

Well, all right, then.
I finally got me a good-ass lawyer.

For your readers? I don't know.

Maybe I'd tell them to pay attention
to my story because it's not unique.

With every letter I read,

I'm seeing that the real sad part is...
I'm not special.

I'm one of millions of people
just like me. Millions.

People behind bars and still
caught in the cross fire.

We hear that a lot.

But in more specific terms,
what is "the cross fire"?

You know, a riot, people
dying on both sides.

It's fucking politics.

Sorry. Politics.

That human need to blame someone.

But you can't put a
whole system in prison.

So, they coming for me,
but I'm coming for them.

I'm gonna keep standing up.

For better inmate treatment in here.
For more rights in here.

I'm gonna keep standing up for
my friend, Poussey Washington,

because she can't no more.

Ms. Jefferson, in the end,

you were certainly the face
of the Litchfield riot,

to the public at least. Any regrets?

I think, uh...

I think I realize that regrets are
for people that have another choice.

That regrets are a privilege for
people that, uh, have free will.

And regrets aren't for people
that are, uh, stuck...

in hell...

trying to survive

years and years of abuse
at the hands of guards

and a prison system that
just looks the other way.

So, no, I don't have any regrets.

Even with all they're
doing to me in here.

"Doing to me in here."
What exactly are they doing?

I mean, it's no secret. The abuse.

The guards in here think

that I'm responsible for the
death of one of theirs,

and I know I'm not.

I know that they're responsible
for the death of one of mine.

See, now the only difference
is I don't have no power.

So every day, I have CO's
spitting in my food,

calling me names, censoring
my mail, beating up on me

and all I can do is hope
for my day in court.

All I can do... is this.

They beat you?

That's what I'm saying.
That's what this whole thing is about.

We are locked in cages,
but they are the animals.

My beautiful love. How are you?

Where's the condom?

Still on my penis.

Still on your penis?
That's not where it's supposed to be.

Baby, I couldn't jack off in the car.

That was step one of the plan!

I couldn't do it.

What do you want?

Do you need silk sheets
and a night of passion?

Diablo, my womb is so empty.

I need you, baby.

Mi amor, I know.

I tried, but...

I can't even pee at a public
urinal, you know that.

There were little kids walking

by the car and
I started to think about

how they were going to see
their mothers in here...

It was very depressing.

I'm not gonna give up on this.

Especially when I am ovulating.

We've come too far.

And you haven't cum at all.

Go jerk it in the visitation
bathroom and hide it in there.

You crazy! You want me to get
it up in the prison bathroom?

That place is so gross.

And what about
the dogs running around?

Those are drug-sniffing dogs,
not cum-sniffing dogs.

Bueno.

Can you at least help me out?

- Maybe talk about...
- You know.

You are a rippling, mighty unicorn,

and I'm a dirty little sprite

lost in the deep, dark woods.
I can't find my way home.

I am lost, Mr. Unicorn.

I am so, so lost.

I'm a unicorn, I'm a unicorn...

Fuck!

Fuck!

Okay. Okay.

- Anything from commissary?
- No, I'm tapped out for the week.

- Vause, right?
- Yeah.

According to my list, you got 100 bucks.

You rich, girl.
Wanna buy me some squeeze cheese?

What? That can't be right.

That's what it says.

Hmm. I'll circle back.

All right, ladies, come grab your balls.

Hey, you heard about the, uh,
aerobics class that I'm running?

Yeah. Heard it sucks.

Yeah, well, you should see for yourself.
Tell your friends.

Multipurpose Room, 3:00 p.m.

Yeah, getting better music, too.

Yeah, I think you'll like it.
Be a lot more, uh, ethnic-forward.

Seems like you're really getting
into your new rec position.

From afar, it almost even
looks like you care.

What do you want, Chapman?

Dropping balls in the yard

does not constitute
proper physical exercise.

In fact, I recently learned
that inmates have a right

to 30 minutes of outdoor
physical activity every day.

Oh, yeah? Where'd you read that?

A little thing called Wikipedia.
On the Internet.

How did I get access to Wikipedia
on the Internet, you might ask?

Funnily enough,

on a cell phone... that you smuggled in.

So I'm thinking kickball.

They used to have it here.
I saw some pictures.

I think it's time to bring it back.

Sure.

Hey, you know, Badison just got shivved

and they're separating the rec times.
But yeah, why not?

Hey, while I'm at it,

why don't I see if I can install a
rifle range for you ladies, too?

- Huh?
- Yeah.

Okay, Chapman, I could bust your
ass for possession of a phone.

Mmm-hmm. And then what? I get a shot,
spend a few days in Ad Seg?

You would lose your job.

Maybe even get arrested.

I want to play kickball.

I have very fond memories
of it from third grade.

Kickball.

I'll see what I can do.

Youse fucking suck.

I need to talk to you. Alone.

God, Vause, why are you
so obsessed with me?

I am done playing games.
I owed you a favor, and now I'm done.

Chill, chill.

Did you put that money in my commissary?

You're upset 'cause a big chunk
of money fell into your lap?

Consider it an engagement
gift. No strings attached.

I'm not doing it, okay?

This thing that you're trying
to rope me into? It ends now.

She kept saying, "I can't go back there.
I can't go back to Max."

And I looked past it
over and over again.

Now, I'm out here in a do-rag,
doing nothing with do-nothings.

- No offense.
- None taken.

We wouldn't hang out with us either.

And she's in there with the pudding,
and fresh fruit and... the yogurt.

Okay, now that part is super effed-up.

Right? That bitch should not be
getting perks while we suffer.

Yeah, we should get perks, too.

No. She should suffer.

Feels like you have a serious
veranda against this bitch.

I do. All the "V" words.
And I know I'm not the only one.

You look like you've
been in here awhile.

I'm looking for a woman.

Aren't we all, sister?

There's someone in here
I'm trying to find.

Have you heard of anyone
in here with a vendetta?

I'll also accept enduring
grudge or longstanding beef.

Definitely. Two years ago,

somebody stole a can of
Beefaroni from my cell

and replaced it with alphabet soup.
Nobody wants that letter shit.

Of course. That's like
the homework of soup.

Exactly.

And I've been trying to find and
kill that bitch ever since.

Thirty years ago, this biker gal,
Frieda, duped some idiot in here...

I don't know what you're
talking about. But if I did,

I wouldn't call that inmate an idiot.

Watch yourself, Long John Silver.

Did I do okay?

I mean, I've never really officially
done an interview before.

- Mmm.
- Did I sound smart? Did I ramble?

God, I hope I did not ramble.

Uh, I guess I rambled.

You run your mouth a lot.

Excuse me?

Yeah. You think you're smart,

then you run your mouth and that's
how you end up where you are.

I don't understand.

You're the one who told
me to do the interview.

I thought you were gonna
talk about the case.

Didn't think you were
gonna shit on all of us.

He was asking me what it's like.

It's hell every day, right?

Guess what? The guards? CO's?
We're right in here with you.

Most of us are trying to do our
best, given the circumstances.

Come on, Tamika.

You see how I'm being treated.

This is people doing their best?

I stuck out my neck for you. To
help you. And this is how you do?

I wasn't talking about...

I wasn't talking about you. I wasn't.

God, please.

I was talking about them.

Yeah, well, I am them.

I don't know how to tell you.
I just don't fuck with cashews.

But those are, like, the top nut.

I mean, you open up a bag of mixed nuts

and you hope for a cashew.

Mmm-mmm, not me.

I open a bag of mixed nuts and
I hope to get sunflower seeds.

That's not a nut, nut.

Shut up.

Well, neither is a cashew.

It's a drupe. D-R-U-P-E.

I learned from the Rasta...

...making me incense from the train. Uh.

- The fuck?
- Shit!

- You were supposed to lock the door.
- I thought you were.

- You lying.
- I... I...

I'm not lying.

Um, welcome to Storky's,

home of the new Biscuit
Burger and Gravy Bundle.

May I... Can I help you, Michael Spence?

Ay, yo, can you help me out?

I don't know. If it's burger...
If it's burger-related.

I need the money.

- Uh, what?
- The money.

Give me the fucking register money.
Hurry up!

- Look... Look...
- Give me the...

Okay. Michael, listen, I want
to, but I gotta tell you,

if I open up this drawer this late,

it's gonna set off all the police
alarms and video cameras, okay?

Shit. Then...

Then give me your Js!

What?

The Jordans. On your feet. I seen 'em.

Come on, please.
These are the new eights...

Just give me the fucking Jordans!

Man, this is some black-on-black crime.
This is bullshit!

You could've robbed some white bitch.
We was in social studies together.

Ah! Shut the fuck up!

And I'm watching you, all right?

So don't be pressing
no buttons or no shit.

Golly, man!

Tasha. Oh, my God.

- You okay?
- No.

The nigga just stole my shoes,
and I stepped in something wet.

Is that gravy?

Or you piss on the floor when you
was acting like a little bitch?

Oh, fuck you. He had a gun.

I thought for sure I'd be moppin'
your blood up off the floor.

Like you were supposed to
mop shit up around here.

Tonight was supposed to be
your night to clean up.

And I was getting to it.

I just wanted to get my smoke on first.
You know I clean better when I'm high.

Oh, hold up. Hold up. Hold up.

We've been getting high as fuck in
here and they got security cameras?

Girl, please.

This place too cheap for some
fucking security cameras.

But Michael Spence don't know that.
Dumbass.

Oh, shit.

You... You bad. You one bad sister.

Well, I'm a product of my environment.

Thank you. Now, clean the fuck up.

So, I was thinking that we
should split cleaning duties

so we can get through it faster.

Yes, please, let's go faster

so we can spend more time
in our prison cells.

Ah. You got attitude, girl. I like it.

I'll tell you what, I take the bathroom
and you can do the visitation area.

Deal. And our agreement is final.
No take-backsies.

Let's shake on it.

This must be your first
time on visitation duty.

Yeah. What's the big deal?

Well, I don't know whether the visitors
are nervous to see their loved ones

or if it's the long car rides here,

but the visitors' bathroom
is basically Chernobyl.

I don't know who that is.

My advice?

Hold your breath and
start spraying madly.

Yes, it is smart to do it in spurts.

Oh, hi, ma'am.
May I speak to you for a second?

- Hey, how you doing?
- Hey.

- Uh, you just saw your girlfriend?
- Yeah.

Yeah. What's all this?

Oh. Here. Try this sample.

How much more time does she have left?

Mmm. Not bad. Five months.

That's nothing.

You know, in five months you could
get yourself jacked for her.

I mean, not that you
don't look good now.

This stuff works?

Yo, look at me. Would I lie to you?

- Can I tell you something?
- What's that?

I used to be in there too.

- Oh, yeah?
- Well, not there. Up the hill at camp.

Minimum.

And now I'm just out here, you know,

trying to make money
to get my kids back.

But this shit right
here is the real-real.

This Nutri Herbal.
It's transformational.

- How much?
- $30.

Yeah? You got it.

Thanks.

Thank you so much.

Hello, sir.
May I interest you in some Nutri Herbal?

Sir, we have it in chai.

Hi. Hi, beautiful couple. May I
have a second of your time, please?

Mommy, can I have the milkshake?

- Honey, we're not buying anything today.
- Hi, no, listen. Hi.

- It's not a milkshake.
- Oh, it ain't gonna hurt her any.

Here you go, little girl.
Have the pink one.

And here's one for you too, Mom.
Look at that.

Instant breakfast for
the whole family.

Okay.

Hey, have you ever thought
about making some extra money?

Oh! Hey, hey! I'm so sorry about this,
ma'am. Enjoy your visit to prison.

Yo. What the hell you doing?
That's my Hot and Healthy Heather, yo!

You cannot solicit here.

I will help you pack up
because it is raining and...

'cause I wanna take you out.

What do you mean?
Like, kill me or out on a date?

On a date. Look, I'm out of
here in, like, 15 minutes.

- What do I gotta do?
- Eat.

If you're hungry.

You like Red Lobster?
It's Endless Shrimp right now.

Great.

You can have all the
little shrimps you want.

I'm gonna have the lobster.

And a steak.

Nice. Surf and turf.

All right. Come on.

- You need to come with me.
- I'm in the middle of something.

I'll keep your place.

I'll be back later.

You're going to leave us in here?

Telling me how to do my job?

Have a seat.

Okeydokey.

The way I see it, this haircut
could go one of two ways.

I am very sorry, Carol, but I
didn't realize it was you who...

Was the idiot who let your
friend Frieda sell me out?

She is not my friend.

And this is a classic miscommunication
because that is not at all what I meant.

Then what did you mean?

I am the idiot.

I was the fucking queen.

And I've been reduced to the
fool because Frieda sold me out.

Like she sold you out 30 years ago.

And how does she get away with it?

Every single time.

I want to put an end to it,

and I needed to find the person
in here who was as angry as I am,

who knows what it's like
to be betrayed by her.

Well, it looks like you found her.

Now...

let's fix that fucked-up
hair of yours, shall we?

I'd love that.

Quick steps!

Uh, quick steps. Quick steps.
Just quick steps. Quick steps.

They were right.
This class does suck my nuts.

All right. Hey, hold on, hold
on. At least he's trying.

Can I help you?

Okay, ladies. Partner up.
Everybody find a partner.

Face each other and move
your hips like this. Look.

There you go. Move those hips.

Keep your distance. No touching.
Remember, we're shadow-dancing.

- You got the stuff?
- Yeah. You got my sperm?

Still warm. So, how we gonna do this?

Okay, everybody switch
with your partners,

but keep moving those hips. Switch.

All right. Bend your knees just a
little bit and keep those hips moving.

It's all about the flirt.
There you go.

Looking good, ladies.

Come on, Luschek.

Switch.

- What you got in your hand there?
- Looks like our Oxy.

Did you think we weren't gonna
notice Blanca's 30-pill order?

You know our shit can't
cross enemy lines.

Daddy shouldn't have fucked up
a good thing when he had it.

What the fuck happened to you?
Did you get the stuff?

They jumped me. Cunt-Block bitches.

- Where's the Oxy? Did you get it?
- They took it.

Oh, fuck!

What are you more concerned about?
Me or the Oxy?

Hey, every one of those bitches
is gonna get her face carved up.

For touching you.

That's the right answer.

I managed to pocket a few
right before they got to me.

Shit.

- You're sexy, you know that?
- Yeah.

Show me where they hurt you.

No, I'm good.

There's one thing I learned in prison,

is how to take a licking
and keep on ticking.

What's that?

You were gonna keep those pills
for yourself, weren't you?

No.

Yes. Maybe.

That doesn't matter.
I gave 'em to you, didn't I?

That's right. That's a good girl.

Ah.

Hurry, before the diablitos die.

Where's my speculum?

Was I supposed to get a speculum?

I'm kidding. All right. Relax.
That's an order.

- Everything is here.
- Mm-hm.

The straw, the spunk.

I'd do it myself, but frankly,
I did a test run with Go-Gurt,

and it was a mess.

And a waste of good Go-Gurt.

I gotta say, I was hoping

that you were gonna go
with the Krazy Straw.

A little touch of whimsy,
but this is good, too.

- Uh, two in one. Straightforward.
- Mmm-hmm.

All right. Now. Just, uh...

You're welcome. Yeah. Relax, lady.

All right? This is my area of expertise.
One of them, anyway.

I'm also surprisingly
great at needlepoint.

Huh.

Mmm.

Keep that for your baby book.
You ready, mama?

- Ready, mama.
- Mmm-hmm.

Let's make a life today.

Okay.

- Now, relax these babies. Okay.
- Mmm-hmm. Oh.

Yep. And we have lift off. All right.

- Keep these legs up.
- Okay.

Hey, you know.

I hear that it helps the whole process
if you have an orgasm during, uh...

I'm not actually suggesting, you know,
volunteering myself,

but I do feel it would fall
under the jurisprudence of, uh,

"Gay for the stay,
straight at the gate."

Fuck!

Well, sounds like
you're already there.

Well, you know it happens.

Just being in proximity of my
pheromone cloud can have that effect.

Oh, yeah.
Looks like my work here is done.

Oh, fuck.

Hey, any mail for me?

Nope. Nothing for you.

Yo, I swear, you was channeling
some American Gangster shit.

Oh, yeah?

Hey, make sure you lock
the damn thing this time.

- Yeah, I locked it.
- Shit!

Yeah. Yeah, I was, like,
looking up at you and thinking,

"Why doesn't she just give
this fool the damn money?"

I mean, come on.
What else was we supposed to do? Right?

"Um, hello, police?
I'd like to report a robbery.

Uh, yes, we're high as fuck.

And yes, there's money
missing from the register."

Who do you think they was gonna blame?

True. True.

I can't even front, 'cause you
probably saved my life tonight.

For real.

That was some
not-all-heroes-wear-capes-type shit.

Yeah. And some don't
wear shoes either, yo.

Oh, right. Damn, girl.

- I would give you mine, but...
- But you wear, like, child sizes.

Yeah.

I can't believe dude took
your fucking Jordans.

But the joke is on that dummy
because those ain't Jordans.

- Those was Gordons!
- What? For real?

Yo, I got them from Canal Street.
Canal Street Special, yo.

Special, baby.

- Whoo.
- Uh, uh, uh, get it. Uh.

- Yo. Uh, wait. It's almost 3:00 a.m.
- Damn.

I gotta go.
My moms is gonna be pissed.

Yeah.

- You gonna be at work next Wednesday?
- Girl, you know it.

sync and corrections by awaqeded
www.MY-SUBS.com.