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1
00:00:12,661 --> 00:00:14,821
-MARIANNE: I thought
your story was beautiful.
2
00:00:19,302 --> 00:00:23,982
Like I'm hearing your most
private, most intimate thoughts.
3
00:00:25,782 --> 00:00:27,842
This wonderful hidden life
you have access to.
4
00:00:27,942 --> 00:00:29,943
(Connell laughs softly)
5
00:00:30,903 --> 00:00:32,903
I'm completely jealous.
6
00:00:35,863 --> 00:00:37,863
-Thanks.
7
00:00:38,824 --> 00:00:40,824
For reading it.
8
00:00:44,104 --> 00:00:46,124
-What will you do with it?
9
00:00:46,224 --> 00:00:48,224
-Don't know.
10
00:00:49,825 --> 00:00:53,625
-You should submit it
to the magazine.
11
00:00:54,985 --> 00:00:56,985
They liked the last one.
-I don't know.
12
00:00:58,465 --> 00:01:00,466
Don't know if it's good enough.
13
00:01:01,266 --> 00:01:03,266
-Ah, you're just fishing now.
14
00:01:03,586 --> 00:01:04,646
It's brilliant.
15
00:01:04,746 --> 00:01:06,686
(dramatic music playing)
16
00:01:06,786 --> 00:01:08,786
โชโช
17
00:01:21,628 --> 00:01:24,948
-ALL:
โช Happy birthday to you โช
18
00:01:25,268 --> 00:01:28,448
โช Happy birthday to you โช
19
00:01:28,548 --> 00:01:32,189
โช Happy birthday
dear Marianne โช
20
00:01:32,749 --> 00:01:35,809
โช Happy birthday to you โช
21
00:01:35,909 --> 00:01:37,909
(cheers and applause)
22
00:01:41,349 --> 00:01:42,490
-WOMAN:
Right, make a wish.
23
00:01:42,590 --> 00:01:44,590
(laughter)
24
00:01:45,550 --> 00:01:48,290
-ELAINE: This looks so yummy.
I can't believe you made this.
25
00:01:48,390 --> 00:01:49,970
-It's a perfect
essay distraction.
26
00:01:50,070 --> 00:01:51,290
(chuckling)
27
00:01:51,390 --> 00:01:53,531
-It's very sweet.
Totally unnecessary.
28
00:01:53,631 --> 00:01:55,211
-Shut your face.
You have to have a cake.
29
00:01:55,311 --> 00:01:56,731
-NIALL: Did you get
good presents, Marianne?
30
00:01:56,831 --> 00:01:58,331
-Lovely presents.
Thank you, Niall.
31
00:01:58,431 --> 00:02:00,171
-WOMAN: And what
did you get her, Connell?
32
00:02:00,271 --> 00:02:02,372
-Uh, a book.
33
00:02:02,472 --> 00:02:04,472
Some Frank O'Hara poems.
34
00:02:05,792 --> 00:02:07,372
(scoffs)
Anyway...
35
00:02:07,472 --> 00:02:09,632
-(laughter)
-I love it.
36
00:02:10,272 --> 00:02:12,292
-And what about your family?
They get you anything nice?
37
00:02:12,392 --> 00:02:14,293
A sports car or a pony?
38
00:02:14,393 --> 00:02:15,813
-JOANNA: (giggling)
What are you implying?
39
00:02:15,913 --> 00:02:17,493
-Well, I'm just going off
my own birthday list.
40
00:02:17,593 --> 00:02:19,773
-(scoffs) Mm, they don't really
go in for birthdays.
41
00:02:19,873 --> 00:02:21,873
-NIALL:
Oh, fair enough.
42
00:02:22,233 --> 00:02:24,774
Mm, this cake's
fuckin' delicious.
43
00:02:24,874 --> 00:02:26,874
(laughter)
44
00:02:30,554 --> 00:02:32,554
(phone buzzes)
45
00:02:39,835 --> 00:02:41,835
-Birthday message?
46
00:02:42,795 --> 00:02:44,376
-Yeah.
47
00:02:44,476 --> 00:02:46,476
My mother.
48
00:02:54,156 --> 00:02:56,157
Not exactly "happy birthday."
49
00:02:56,677 --> 00:02:58,677
-What does it say?
50
00:02:59,797 --> 00:03:02,877
-"Send me back the keys
to the Dublin flat
as soon as possible."
51
00:03:03,317 --> 00:03:05,318
So...
52
00:03:18,439 --> 00:03:20,439
-I'm sorry.
53
00:03:20,879 --> 00:03:22,939
-It's okay.
54
00:03:23,039 --> 00:03:25,039
I'm okay.
55
00:03:36,721 --> 00:03:38,661
("Dogwood Blossom"
by Fionn Regan)
56
00:03:38,761 --> 00:03:40,761
โชโช
57
00:03:47,922 --> 00:03:52,482
โช Keep climbing into my head
without knocking โช
58
00:03:54,562 --> 00:03:58,963
โช And you fix yourself there
like a map pin โช
59
00:04:00,483 --> 00:04:05,403
โช Darling, darling,
that dam's gonna give โช
60
00:04:08,764 --> 00:04:10,304
โช It's inevitable... โช
61
00:04:10,404 --> 00:04:12,404
-Did you like that?
62
00:04:13,724 --> 00:04:15,724
-Yeah.
63
00:04:16,084 --> 00:04:18,084
Very much.
64
00:04:19,125 --> 00:04:21,145
-Good.
65
00:04:21,245 --> 00:04:23,865
โช And a mouth that slurs โช
66
00:04:23,965 --> 00:04:27,265
โช All the shit that it stirs โช
67
00:04:27,365 --> 00:04:32,366
โช Let that dogwood blossom โช
68
00:04:35,166 --> 00:04:40,007
โช Darling, darling,
that dam's gonna give โช
69
00:04:43,527 --> 00:04:49,367
โช It's inevitable,
the way that you live โช
70
00:04:53,368 --> 00:04:55,988
โช Bottles in brown paper โช
71
00:04:56,088 --> 00:04:58,628
โช And a mouth that slurs โช
72
00:04:58,728 --> 00:05:01,789
โช All the shit that it stirs โช
73
00:05:01,889 --> 00:05:05,189
โช Let that dogwood blossom โช
74
00:05:05,289 --> 00:05:07,669
INSTRUCTOR:
...could be described
as bureaucratic inertia.
75
00:05:07,769 --> 00:05:09,709
-Who? Connell?
76
00:05:09,809 --> 00:05:11,810
-Yeah, all right, well,
you're getting better.
77
00:05:16,330 --> 00:05:18,070
-What do you
fancy doing tonight?
78
00:05:18,170 --> 00:05:20,190
-Watch a film.
-Sounds good.
79
00:05:20,290 --> 00:05:23,091
-Oh, I might go for a swim.
Another one.
80
00:05:23,491 --> 00:05:25,671
But I, I could pick up some food
and come to you after.
81
00:05:25,771 --> 00:05:27,771
-Great.
82
00:05:28,491 --> 00:05:31,231
Did we get married and become
50-years-old without noticing?
83
00:05:31,331 --> 00:05:33,312
-Maybe.
84
00:05:33,412 --> 00:05:35,412
I actually love it.
85
00:05:35,972 --> 00:05:38,332
-Do you think our
first-year selves would hate
what we've become?
86
00:05:39,012 --> 00:05:40,352
I should have known,
to be fair.
87
00:05:40,452 --> 00:05:43,093
-I think first-year me
would have been amazed.
88
00:05:44,173 --> 00:05:46,533
"Look at her,
she's actually content."
89
00:05:47,133 --> 00:05:49,133
Wow.
90
00:05:55,774 --> 00:05:57,934
You all right?
-Mm-hmm, yeah.
91
00:05:58,334 --> 00:06:00,894
I just got this email.
-From who?
92
00:06:05,935 --> 00:06:07,475
Connell, from who?
93
00:06:07,575 --> 00:06:09,575
-It's, uh...
94
00:06:10,415 --> 00:06:12,415
it's, it's from
this university in New York.
95
00:06:13,936 --> 00:06:15,276
They're offering me
a place in their
96
00:06:15,376 --> 00:06:17,376
MFA creative writing program.
97
00:06:17,976 --> 00:06:19,976
-Oh.
98
00:06:20,736 --> 00:06:22,736
I didn't even
know you'd applied.
99
00:06:24,297 --> 00:06:27,797
I mean, congratulations.
I'm, I'm not surprised
100
00:06:27,897 --> 00:06:29,277
they've offered you a place.
101
00:06:29,377 --> 00:06:32,477
I'm just a bit surprised
you didn't mention it.
102
00:06:32,577 --> 00:06:35,218
-Well, it was such a long shot.
103
00:06:37,818 --> 00:06:40,138
I, um, I-I was embarrassed.
104
00:06:42,058 --> 00:06:44,058
To be honest, I, uh...
105
00:06:44,418 --> 00:06:46,939
I still look up to you a lot,
and I, uh...
106
00:06:48,659 --> 00:06:50,959
I wouldn't want you
to see me, I don't know what,
deluded, or...
107
00:06:51,059 --> 00:06:52,839
-Connell.
-And I,
108
00:06:52,939 --> 00:06:55,179
I don't even know why I applied.
It wasn't even my idea.
109
00:06:56,500 --> 00:06:58,780
-Whose idea was it?
-Uh, one-- one of my tutors.
110
00:07:02,460 --> 00:07:04,560
-It's really brilliant,
Connell.
111
00:07:04,660 --> 00:07:06,661
-You can see me
in New York, can you?
112
00:07:08,101 --> 00:07:10,181
-Yeah, actually.
113
00:07:11,461 --> 00:07:13,461
I can.
-I can't even...
114
00:07:14,261 --> 00:07:17,342
(scoffs)
It's making me feel...
115
00:07:18,342 --> 00:07:20,342
(exhales)
116
00:07:20,982 --> 00:07:23,762
Now is not the time for me
to go halfway across the world
117
00:07:23,862 --> 00:07:26,022
and live in a city
where I don't know anyone.
118
00:07:28,023 --> 00:07:29,683
Like...
119
00:07:29,783 --> 00:07:31,363
I could barely walk down
the street in Dublin
120
00:07:31,463 --> 00:07:33,463
a couple of months ago
without having a panic attack.
121
00:07:33,943 --> 00:07:35,943
How's that gonna work
in New York?
122
00:07:39,704 --> 00:07:41,704
-Put it away for a bit.
123
00:07:42,704 --> 00:07:45,664
It, it's brilliant
they offered you a place.
124
00:07:46,624 --> 00:07:48,625
Don't think about
what to do with it for now.
125
00:07:52,945 --> 00:07:54,945
-I'm not going.
126
00:07:56,385 --> 00:07:58,385
-Okay.
127
00:08:10,547 --> 00:08:12,547
(applause)
128
00:08:13,027 --> 00:08:16,567
-And of course,
we have to thank Connell.
129
00:08:16,667 --> 00:08:18,787
(cheers and applause)
130
00:08:19,427 --> 00:08:22,448
For stepping up
and turning out to be
131
00:08:22,548 --> 00:08:27,688
the most naturally fucking
gifted editor of all times.
132
00:08:27,788 --> 00:08:29,788
(cheering and applause)
133
00:08:31,069 --> 00:08:35,809
Leading me to announce
that our latest brilliant issue
134
00:08:35,909 --> 00:08:39,109
launches tomorrow,
and we could not be prouder.
135
00:08:41,270 --> 00:08:43,410
And I made punch,
and it's fucking delicious.
136
00:08:43,510 --> 00:08:46,410
-WOMAN: And it's fucking lethal.
-SOPHIE: Drink up!
137
00:08:46,510 --> 00:08:50,010
(scattered cheers and applause)
138
00:08:50,110 --> 00:08:53,271
(indistinct chatter)
139
00:09:01,672 --> 00:09:03,672
-Marianne.
140
00:09:04,112 --> 00:09:06,452
-Yeah?
-Can I ask you something?
141
00:09:06,552 --> 00:09:08,552
-Mm-hmm.
142
00:09:10,632 --> 00:09:12,633
-Christmas.
143
00:09:13,633 --> 00:09:15,633
-What about it?
144
00:09:17,313 --> 00:09:19,313
-Would you like to come to ours?
145
00:09:21,233 --> 00:09:23,234
-I don't know, Connell.
146
00:09:24,354 --> 00:09:27,234
That's kind.
-Lorraine would love
to have you.
147
00:09:29,794 --> 00:09:31,794
-You don't know that.
148
00:09:36,195 --> 00:09:38,195
What?
-I think I do know that.
149
00:09:38,675 --> 00:09:40,675
It's her idea.
150
00:09:41,395 --> 00:09:43,436
-That's kind of her.
-Mm-hmm.
151
00:09:49,396 --> 00:09:51,396
So?
152
00:09:52,476 --> 00:09:54,217
-(laughs softly) So...
153
00:09:54,317 --> 00:09:56,257
("You're All I Want
For Christmas" by
Al Martino playing on radio)
154
00:09:56,357 --> 00:09:58,577
โชโช
155
00:09:58,677 --> 00:10:02,997
โช You're all I want โช
156
00:10:03,997 --> 00:10:05,738
(laughter)
157
00:10:05,838 --> 00:10:07,858
-Stop.
-Oh, Connell.
158
00:10:07,958 --> 00:10:09,778
-Yeah?
-It's not funny.
159
00:10:09,878 --> 00:10:12,778
โช All I want โช
160
00:10:12,878 --> 00:10:17,759
โช My whole life through โช
161
00:10:20,759 --> 00:10:26,420
โช Each day is just โช
162
00:10:26,520 --> 00:10:29,520
โช Like Christmas โช
163
00:10:31,920 --> 00:10:36,401
โช Anytime that I'm โช
164
00:10:37,201 --> 00:10:39,541
โช With you โช
165
00:10:39,641 --> 00:10:42,021
-There they are.
Aw, look at the two of you.
166
00:10:42,121 --> 00:10:44,121
A little Christmas miracle.
167
00:10:44,761 --> 00:10:47,022
Been cooking for weeks.
Get in here.
168
00:10:47,122 --> 00:10:49,142
-MARIANNE: Hi.
-Hello, sweetheart.
169
00:10:49,242 --> 00:10:51,242
Oh.
170
00:10:53,002 --> 00:10:54,942
-Thanks for having me.
171
00:10:55,042 --> 00:10:57,043
(Lorraine laughs softly, kisses)
172
00:10:59,163 --> 00:11:01,463
Where should I put these, where?
-CONNELL: I'll take them off ya.
173
00:11:01,563 --> 00:11:03,883
(indistinct chatter)
174
00:11:05,523 --> 00:11:07,264
-WOMAN: Editor.
Well, that's impressive.
175
00:11:07,364 --> 00:11:09,384
-No, well, I'm just really
doing it as a favor.
176
00:11:09,484 --> 00:11:11,584
-I'm sure people edit
newspapers as a favor.
177
00:11:11,684 --> 00:11:13,144
-He's doing brilliantly.
178
00:11:13,244 --> 00:11:15,704
-It's a literary magazine.
It's absolutely not a newspaper.
179
00:11:15,804 --> 00:11:17,805
(indistinct chatter)
180
00:11:21,925 --> 00:11:23,905
-Am I,
am I involved in politics?
181
00:11:24,005 --> 00:11:25,185
(laughter)
182
00:11:25,285 --> 00:11:26,985
What?
183
00:11:27,085 --> 00:11:28,306
Why is that funny?
184
00:11:28,406 --> 00:11:29,506
-Am I Dobby?
185
00:11:29,606 --> 00:11:31,586
(cheering)
186
00:11:31,686 --> 00:11:33,386
-BERNIE: Do I like me?
-CHILD: Oh, no.
187
00:11:33,486 --> 00:11:35,486
-WOMAN: No...
188
00:11:39,287 --> 00:11:41,107
-CONNELL:
You all right?
189
00:11:41,207 --> 00:11:43,207
-Yeah.
190
00:11:44,007 --> 00:11:46,647
-Is it too much?
-No.
191
00:11:48,087 --> 00:11:50,088
It's so nice.
192
00:11:50,728 --> 00:11:52,728
Proper Christmas.
193
00:11:53,608 --> 00:11:55,608
It's lovely.
194
00:12:00,849 --> 00:12:02,149
-LORRAINE:
Well, you have to do something.
195
00:12:02,249 --> 00:12:04,229
What are your
school friends up to?
196
00:12:04,329 --> 00:12:06,449
-CONNELL:
Brennan's, like every year.
197
00:12:06,929 --> 00:12:09,509
-I'm just not sure I could see
a New Year's in a Brennan's.
198
00:12:09,609 --> 00:12:11,550
(Connell laughs softly)
199
00:12:11,650 --> 00:12:13,430
(soft music playing)
200
00:12:13,530 --> 00:12:15,770
โชโช
201
00:12:20,611 --> 00:12:22,611
-LORRAINE: Hello, Denise.
Happy New Year.
202
00:12:58,614 --> 00:13:00,694
-(car door closes)
-(keys jangle)
203
00:13:04,375 --> 00:13:06,455
-What do people in town
think of her?
204
00:13:19,696 --> 00:13:21,696
-I suppose...
205
00:13:25,577 --> 00:13:28,657
I suppose she'd be
considered a bit odd.
206
00:13:35,338 --> 00:13:37,338
-Oh.
207
00:13:44,699 --> 00:13:47,019
(waves crashing)
208
00:14:45,104 --> 00:14:47,245
-CONNELL:
Your cheeks are red.
209
00:14:47,345 --> 00:14:49,365
-It's cold.
210
00:14:49,465 --> 00:14:51,465
-Will you come tonight?
211
00:14:54,425 --> 00:14:56,425
You should.
212
00:14:57,385 --> 00:14:59,506
-Far be it from me
to disobey an order.
213
00:15:04,546 --> 00:15:06,546
(indistinct chatter)
214
00:15:09,627 --> 00:15:11,367
-All right, hey, hey, you!
215
00:15:11,467 --> 00:15:12,887
-How's it going, Gary?
-Good to see you.
216
00:15:12,987 --> 00:15:14,987
-Good to see you, too.
Happy New Year to you.
217
00:15:15,747 --> 00:15:17,887
(indistinct chatter)
218
00:15:17,987 --> 00:15:19,168
-Hey!
-Hey!
219
00:15:19,268 --> 00:15:21,268
RACHEL:
So nice to see you.
220
00:15:22,748 --> 00:15:24,488
-KAREN: You look amazing.
-MARIANNE: So do you.
221
00:15:24,588 --> 00:15:26,088
-LISA:
You look gorgeous.
222
00:15:26,188 --> 00:15:28,168
Marianne,
how are you getting on?
223
00:15:28,268 --> 00:15:29,769
-Happy New Year, how are you?
224
00:15:29,869 --> 00:15:32,449
Good to see ya. Good, good.
Get you a drink?
225
00:15:32,549 --> 00:15:34,929
-Yes, please.
Would you like one?
-LISA: No, no, no.
226
00:15:35,029 --> 00:15:37,029
-See you in a second.
One second.
227
00:15:38,189 --> 00:15:40,990
-Marianne Sheridan.
-MARIANNE: Hi.
228
00:15:41,390 --> 00:15:43,390
(cheers and applause)
229
00:15:51,391 --> 00:15:53,331
(soft music playing)
230
00:15:53,431 --> 00:15:55,431
โชโช
231
00:16:01,472 --> 00:16:03,872
(voices fade)
232
00:16:15,033 --> 00:16:17,033
-I love you.
233
00:16:19,593 --> 00:16:21,594
-I love you, too.
234
00:16:44,636 --> 00:16:46,876
โชโช
235
00:17:16,079 --> 00:17:18,079
-You all right?
236
00:17:18,919 --> 00:17:20,919
-Yeah, I am.
237
00:17:22,719 --> 00:17:24,720
Just never felt like home.
238
00:17:26,400 --> 00:17:28,400
Didn't feel right to be here
to be honest.
239
00:17:34,040 --> 00:17:36,041
-What?
240
00:17:39,361 --> 00:17:41,361
-I've been thinking
about New York.
241
00:17:42,761 --> 00:17:44,761
The offer.
242
00:17:45,162 --> 00:17:47,342
-What about it?
243
00:17:47,442 --> 00:17:49,442
-I don't know, I just...
244
00:17:50,722 --> 00:17:53,882
I keep imagining
you being there.
245
00:17:55,322 --> 00:17:57,323
Writing.
246
00:18:00,963 --> 00:18:02,963
-Right.
247
00:18:05,123 --> 00:18:07,124
-You've been thinking about it.
-Yeah.
248
00:18:07,684 --> 00:18:09,344
Yeah. A bit.
249
00:18:09,444 --> 00:18:11,864
Like, obviously, I--
I've thought about it a bit,
250
00:18:11,964 --> 00:18:13,964
but that doesn't mean that...
251
00:18:15,884 --> 00:18:17,105
Uh...
252
00:18:17,205 --> 00:18:19,205
it just feels too hard.
253
00:18:21,965 --> 00:18:25,345
Everything recently has been
hard or it's been an effort
254
00:18:25,445 --> 00:18:26,906
and maybe this year
255
00:18:27,006 --> 00:18:28,746
just needs to be
straightforward, you know?
256
00:18:28,846 --> 00:18:32,566
-There's been a lot of stuff
that's been difficult.
257
00:18:33,166 --> 00:18:35,166
And painful.
258
00:18:35,646 --> 00:18:38,067
And this would be
difficult and amazing.
259
00:18:38,167 --> 00:18:40,287
-Potentially, yes.
-It's New York.
260
00:18:41,847 --> 00:18:43,847
It's writing.
261
00:18:44,727 --> 00:18:48,288
It'd be fucking amazing,
Connell.
262
00:18:50,608 --> 00:18:52,608
-Yeah.
263
00:18:53,168 --> 00:18:55,168
Yeah, maybe.
264
00:18:56,128 --> 00:18:58,128
Would you come with me?
265
00:18:59,169 --> 00:19:01,069
We could be there together, and,
266
00:19:01,169 --> 00:19:04,409
and you could
study or work, and...
267
00:19:09,890 --> 00:19:11,890
Why?
268
00:19:13,890 --> 00:19:15,890
-I want to stay here.
269
00:19:19,010 --> 00:19:21,051
I want to live
the life I'm living.
270
00:19:23,291 --> 00:19:25,291
It's quite a thing.
271
00:19:26,211 --> 00:19:28,271
(exhales)
And I'm getting better at it.
272
00:19:28,371 --> 00:19:30,372
-Yeah.
273
00:19:45,333 --> 00:19:47,333
I'd miss you too much.
274
00:19:48,253 --> 00:19:50,253
I'd be sick.
275
00:19:51,414 --> 00:19:53,414
-At first.
276
00:19:53,894 --> 00:19:55,894
But it would get better.
277
00:19:57,374 --> 00:19:59,314
-Mm-hmm, yeah.
278
00:19:59,414 --> 00:20:02,695
Yeah, and it's only a year,
and then I'll be back.
279
00:20:10,055 --> 00:20:12,056
-Don't promise that.
280
00:20:14,656 --> 00:20:16,656
You don't know...
281
00:20:17,216 --> 00:20:19,216
where either of us will be.
282
00:20:20,536 --> 00:20:22,537
Or what will happen.
283
00:20:25,857 --> 00:20:27,797
(soft music playing)
284
00:20:27,897 --> 00:20:29,117
โชโช
285
00:20:29,217 --> 00:20:31,217
(Connell exhales shakily)
286
00:20:35,138 --> 00:20:37,858
-I wouldn't be here
if it wasn't for you.
287
00:20:38,778 --> 00:20:40,778
No.
288
00:20:41,178 --> 00:20:43,179
That's true.
289
00:20:43,739 --> 00:20:47,739
I mean, you'd be
somewhere else entirely.
290
00:20:48,459 --> 00:20:50,779
You'd be a different person.
291
00:20:52,059 --> 00:20:54,060
And me, too.
292
00:20:58,620 --> 00:21:04,301
But we have done so much good
for one another.
293
00:21:08,701 --> 00:21:10,741
-You know I love you.
294
00:21:13,381 --> 00:21:16,462
And I'm never gonna feel
the same way for anyone else.
295
00:21:19,062 --> 00:21:21,062
-I know.
296
00:21:24,382 --> 00:21:26,383
(exhales)
297
00:21:29,943 --> 00:21:31,943
(laughs softly)
298
00:21:34,223 --> 00:21:36,224
-I'll go.
299
00:21:39,064 --> 00:21:41,064
-And I'll stay.
300
00:21:43,504 --> 00:21:45,504
And we'll be okay.
301
00:22:01,586 --> 00:22:04,186
โชโช
20261
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