Original subtitles

[ music ]

- Alright simmer down everybody. Let's cut the chatter.

- No one was talking.

- Alright simmer down everybody. Let's cut the chatter.

- Yeah, man. No chatter to cut.

- Alright simmer down everybody. Let's cut the chatter.

- Oh. Well, I kinda had my heart set on

- Alright simmer down everybody. Let's cut the chatter.

telling you guys to cut the chatter so...

- Alright simmer down everybody. Let's cut the chatter.

can I come in again? And maybe hear some chatter?

- Alright simmer down everybody. Let's cut the chatter.

- I didn't realize we were here to meet your needs.

- Alright simmer down everybody. Let's cut the chatter.

- Well guess what -- you are. - Then we can do that.

- Alright simmer down everybody. Let's cut the chatter.

- Great! I'll come in again.

- Alright simmer down everybody. Let's cut the chatter.

- You see the bears last night?

[ all talking at once ]

- You see the bears last night?

- Alright calm down everybody. Let's cut the chatter!

- You see the bears last night?

- I said let's cut the chatter!

- Alright, wadda ya got for us today, Cap?

- I said let's cut the chatter!

- What I got is a big, steamin' bowl a' crime chowder.

- I said let's cut the chatter!

So grab your spoons -- let's eat.

- I said let's cut the chatter!

[ Volt, Brainstorm and AWOL bark ]

- I said let's cut the chatter!

- I digitized all those papers for you

- I said let's cut the chatter!

and uploaded them to the smartboard.

- I said let's cut the chatter!

- Oh. Well what am I supposed to do with these?

- I said let's cut the chatter!

- Recycle them?

- I said let's cut the chatter!

- [ laughs ] Absolutely not.

- I said let's cut the chatter!

- Throw them away? - Better.

- I said let's cut the chatter!

- What?!

- I said let's cut the chatter!

- Burn 'em? - Best!

- I said let's cut the chatter!

- For real?!

- I said let's cut the chatter!

- [ laughs ] Recycle them.

Oh. Okay, crime time...

- [ laughs ] Recycle them.

Somebody stole a garden gnome

off some old lady's front yard...

Somebody stole a garden gnome

- Boring. - Pass.

Somebody stole a garden gnome

- See... somebody hit Scary Gary

Somebody stole a garden gnome

in the head with a garden gnome...

Somebody stole a garden gnome

Oh actually, those two might be related.

Somebody stole a garden gnome

- Get to the good crimes!

Somebody stole a garden gnome

- Okay. Gimme a sec, gimme a sec...

Somebody stole a garden gnome

somebody stole all the books from The Swellview Library...

Somebody stole a garden gnome

Pfft! Murd--

Somebody stole a garden gnome

- Stole books from the library?!

Somebody stole a garden gnome

- Someone's gonna fry tonight!

Somebody stole a garden gnome

- Are you guys serious? - Of course we are!

Somebody stole a garden gnome

- Libraries are a treasure trove of infinite knowledge.

Somebody stole a garden gnome

- And adventure... - What?

Somebody stole a garden gnome

- Stealing books from the library

Somebody stole a garden gnome

is not just a crime against one person.

Somebody stole a garden gnome

- It's a crime against the whole community.

Somebody stole a garden gnome

- And it will not stand!

Somebody stole a garden gnome

- Okay, please tell me there's some kind of sick turn coming.

Somebody stole a garden gnome

- Only thing comin' is vengeance.

Somebody stole a garden gnome

- And adventure...

Somebody stole a garden gnome

- Because we love the library.

Somebody stole a garden gnome

- Look, the crime is already in our shopping cart,

Somebody stole a garden gnome

just hit "checkout"!

Somebody stole a garden gnome

- Oh god. What a bunch of nerds.

Somebody stole a garden gnome

Alright, give me a second to read the details.

Somebody stole a garden gnome

Okay, look. See -- they didn't steal all the books.

Somebody stole a garden gnome

They left like ten copies of that one.

Somebody stole a garden gnome

- Hey, what book is that?

Somebody stole a garden gnome

- It is...

Somebody stole a garden gnome

Oh. My. God.

Somebody stole a garden gnome

- Is that you on the cover? - Yes.

Somebody stole a garden gnome

- And they left it there? - Yes.

Somebody stole a garden gnome

- All ten copies? - Yes.

Somebody stole a garden gnome

- They literally stole every book in the library

Somebody stole a garden gnome

except yours.

Somebody stole a garden gnome

- Someone's gonna fry tonight! - Yes!

Somebody stole a garden gnome

- I'm hit.

Somebody stole a garden gnome

- Relax it's just-- - This is the end for ol' Bosey.

Confession time -- I'm the one that stole that garden gnome.

- Relax it's just-- - This is the end for ol' Bosey.

- Dude, you're fine. That's jelly.

- So it is.

Raspberry if I'm not mistaken.

- So it is.

- Uh-oh! Hot can.

[ ShoutOut groans ]

- Uh-oh! Hot can.

- That thing doesn't want to stay out.

- Uh-oh! Hot can.

- This wouldn't have happened if you had just recycled it!

- Uh-oh! Hot can.

- We also wouldn't be laughing so I mean...

- Uh-oh! Hot can.

[ music ]

Alright! Who's ready to break some teeth?!

[ music ]

- Always. - Ready in a bit.

[ music ]

- Just gotta do a liiittle stretching first.

[ music ]

- But I want to break teeth now!

[ music ]

- We don't even know whose teeth to break yet.

[ music ]

- Wrong! I just uploaded a list of the most likely suspects.

[ music ]

- This is literally every criminal in Swellview.

- Yeah. Plus a couple of people I just don't like.

- This is literally every criminal in Swellview.

- And they're scattered all over town.

- This is literally every criminal in Swellview.

- Well we better get going.

- This is literally every criminal in Swellview.

We got a looong night ahead of us.

- This is literally every criminal in Swellview.

Hope you're all wearing your teeth-breaking pants!

- This is literally every criminal in Swellview.

- One of those dots is me.

- This is literally every criminal in Swellview.

- Well where were you last night? Huh?

- This is literally every criminal in Swellview.

Out stealing every book in Swellview except mine?!

- This is literally every criminal in Swellview.

- I don't steal books! I'm not a monster.

- This is literally every criminal in Swellview.

- We'll see...

- This is literally every criminal in Swellview.

- I got a better way to find the criminal.

- This is literally every criminal in Swellview.

- Better than spending six to eight days

- This is literally every criminal in Swellview.

walking all over town, collecting criminal teeth

- This is literally every criminal in Swellview.

to get that sweet sweet coin from the Tooth Fairy

- This is literally every criminal in Swellview.

until we randomly happen upon some criminal

- This is literally every criminal in Swellview.

that admits to stealing the books?

- This is literally every criminal in Swellview.

I'd like to hear it.

- This is literally every criminal in Swellview.

- Well you know that place, The Beatin' Dungeon?

- This is literally every criminal in Swellview.

- I barely know where I am right now.

- This is literally every criminal in Swellview.

- The Beatin' Dungeon is this place

- This is literally every criminal in Swellview.

where villains and heroes get together

- This is literally every criminal in Swellview.

to fight each other for fun.

- This is literally every criminal in Swellview.

- Sweeaat -- when do we go? - Tomorrow night.

- This is literally every criminal in Swellview.

It's "Villains Only Night." - So?

- This is literally every criminal in Swellview.

- So we get Schwoz to make up some bad guy costumes...

- This is literally every criminal in Swellview.

- we head down to The Beatin' Dungeon...

- This is literally every criminal in Swellview.

- And adopt a rescue dog that we bring home and say,

- This is literally every criminal in Swellview.

"In a way, he rescued us."

- This is literally every criminal in Swellview.

- So close... - Was he?

- This is literally every criminal in Swellview.

- Orrrrr... we hang out and see if any criminals

- This is literally every criminal in Swellview.

are bragging about stealing books from the library.

- This is literally every criminal in Swellview.

- In. - Let's do this!

- This is literally every criminal in Swellview.

- Hold up, wait a minute, let me put some captain in it.

- This is literally every criminal in Swellview.

- I don't know what that means. - Me, neither.

- This is literally every criminal in Swellview.

- He thinks he has an idea. - Can we please get a dog?

- This is literally every criminal in Swellview.

- It means... it's up to me to point out

- This is literally every criminal in Swellview.

nobody ever goes to Villains Only Night.

- This is literally every criminal in Swellview.

Check out their Fakebook Page.

- This is literally every criminal in Swellview.

- I thought of that and I have a solution.

- [ scoffs ] A better solution than spending six to eight days

- I thought of that and I have a solution.

walking all over town, collecting criminal--

- I thought of that and I have a solution.

- Yes.

- I thought of that and I have a solution.

We just have to offer something else that everyone loves.

- I thought of that and I have a solution.

- Like face painting!

- I thought of that and I have a solution.

- Yes -- face painting!

- I thought of that and I have a solution.

- Even I love a good face paint. - Everybody loves face painting.

- I thought of that and I have a solution.

VOLT: Cat eyes. - I like a good tiger, on my cheek.

- I thought of that and I have a solution.

- Wait a minute. That's not gonna work...

- It seems like it's working.

- Fine! But where are you gonna find somebody

- It seems like it's working.

to paint faces? Huh? For free!

- It seems like it's working.

- Schwoz!!! - Yes?

- It seems like it's working.

- Ahhh! - Ahhh!

- It seems like it's working.

- Can you paint faces? - Yes.

- It seems like it's working.

- For free? - Yes.

- It seems like it's working.

- We need you to go to The Beatin' Dungeon tomorrow night.

- It seems like it's working.

- Ho-kay!

- It seems like it's working.

- And you gotta make us bad guy costumes!

- It seems like it's working.

SCHWOZ: Ho-kay!

- It seems like it's working.

- And you gotta let us adopt a dog!

- It seems like it's working.

SCHWOZ: No-kay!

- It seems like it's working.

- Fine! But if I steal another garden gnome

- It seems like it's working.

to fill the void inside me it's your fault.

- It seems like it's working.

- It all just kinda happened.

[ kids all taking at once ]

- It all just kinda happened.

- Stop talking!

- It all just kinda happened.

♪ Danger ♪

- It all just kinda happened.

♪ Whoaaa-oooh ♪

- It all just kinda happened.

♪ Whoaaa-oooh ♪

- It all just kinda happened.

♪ Ooooh-ooooh ♪

- It all just kinda happened.

♪ Danger! ♪

- It all just kinda happened.

♪ One two three Force! ♪

- It all just kinda happened.

[ kids in unison ] - Emergency!

- It all just kinda happened.

- That's just the doorbell. - I know.

- It all just kinda happened.

[ music ]

- Bose! Get over here, Schwoz is giving us our bad guy costumes!

[ music ]

- Swet. We bad guys now?

[ music ]

- No, we're still good.

[ music ]

- We just gotta look bad.

[ music ]

- So we can go undercover to Villains Only Night

[ music ]

at The Beatin' Dungeon...

[ music ]

- And find whoever stole those books from the library.

[ music ]

- Okay cool!

[ music ]

I just came up with a great bad guy persona for myself.

[ music ]

I want to be "Bad Bose."

[ music ]

- That's definitely bad, but not in the way you're thinking.

[ music ]

- Oh I'm not thinking at all. That's my secret.

[ music ]

- It took me all night to make these bad guy gum balls

[ music ]

so the rule is: you get what you get and you don't get upset.

[ music ]

- I reserve the right to be upset.

[ music ]

- No frowny making. No head shaking.

[ music ]

No belly aching. No offense taking.

[ music ]

You just chew and blow and off you go.

[ music ]

- Nice... - What have you done to me?

- Love this. - You are Weird Beard.

- Nice... - What have you done to me?

Because your beard is weiiiirrd.

- Nice... - What have you done to me?

[ Miles groans ]

- Nice... - What have you done to me?

- Dah-dah-dah-what did I say?

- Nice... - What have you done to me?

- I mean, "I love it." - Good!

- Nice... - What have you done to me?

- Why is mine so scary?

- Nice... - What have you done to me?

- Because you're a villain -- The Mangler!

- Nice... - What have you done to me?

- I know but does it have to be this scary?

- Nice... - What have you done to me?

What if I was something like...

- Nice... - What have you done to me?

The Pretty Bad Pony.

- Nice... - What have you done to me?

Or just The Pretty Pony!

- Nice... - What have you done to me?

- You're The Mangler!

- Nice... - What have you done to me?

This is your mangling stick.

- Nice... - What have you done to me?

- Is this dried blood?

- Nice... - What have you done to me?

- Yes, it will dry eventually.

- Nice... - What have you done to me?

- Youuuu are El Stabador.

- Nice... - What have you done to me?

- Claro que si! Y mi destino es--

- Nice... - What have you done to me?

- And you are a Yerban Santa Claus

- Nice... - What have you done to me?

who takes toys from kids then punches them.

- Nice... - What have you done to me?

- I can do that. Do I get a bloody stick?

- Nice... - What have you done to me?

- Yes!

- Nice... - What have you done to me?

- Okay, time to head to The Beatin' Dungeon--

- Nice... - What have you done to me?

RAY: Caw-caw!

- Nice... - What have you done to me?

- Ohhhh... I forgot about Ray.

- Nice... - What have you done to me?

[ Batman Voice ] - Ray no longer exists.

- Nice... - What have you done to me?

He's been re-hatched... as Hawkfist!

- Nice... - What have you done to me?

Caw-caw!

- Nice... - What have you done to me?

- "Hatched?" Soooo... you were once an egg?

- Nice... - What have you done to me?

- I guess.

- Nice... - What have you done to me?

- And if you were re-hatched... that means you hatched twice?

- Nice... - What have you done to me?

- If that's what I said, then yes.

- Nice... - What have you done to me?

- Do hawks even have fists? - This one does.

- Nice... - What have you done to me?

- So who were your parents? - I don't know,

- Nice... - What have you done to me?

a hawk and a fist -- why don't you guys shut up?

- Nice... - What have you done to me?

- Because we have a lot questions about... this.

- Nice... - What have you done to me?

- There's no time.

- Nice... - What have you done to me?

To The Beatin' Dungeon! Caw-caw!!!

- Nice... - What have you done to me?

- Ray you can't fly!

- Nice... - What have you done to me?

- Ray can't -- but Hawkfist can! Caw-caw!

- Nice... - What have you done to me?

SCHWOZ: Ray, no don't!

- Nice... - What have you done to me?

You'll fall down the side of the mountain!

- Nice... - What have you done to me?

RAY: Ah! Ah! Ah!

- Nice... - What have you done to me?

Ah-ah! Ah!

- Nice... - What have you done to me?

That's...My... Face...Ow...

- Nice... - What have you done to me?

Ah! Owwww!

- Nice... - What have you done to me?

[ music ]

♪ I've got an evil, evil plan for you ♪

♪ I've got an evil, evil plan for you ♪

♪ I've got an evil, evil plan for you ♪

♪ It's evil ♪

♪ I've got an evil, evil plan for you ♪

♪ It's evil ♪

♪ I've got an evil, evil plan for you ♪

♪ IT'S EVILLLL! ♪

♪ I've got an evil, evil plan for you ♪

- Stop it.

♪ I've got an evil, evil plan for you ♪

- Hello? Hi, can I have everyone's attention please?

For those of you that don't know, I am The Butcher

- Hello? Hi, can I have everyone's attention please?

and I just want to give everybody a big thank you

- Hello? Hi, can I have everyone's attention please?

for attending Villains Only Night!

- Hello? Hi, can I have everyone's attention please?

[ villains cheer ]

- Hello? Hi, can I have everyone's attention please?

- Whoa! Simmer down there Betty Blades...

- Hello? Hi, can I have everyone's attention please?

- I throw rocket blades!

- Hello? Hi, can I have everyone's attention please?

- And we love you for it.

- Hello? Hi, can I have everyone's attention please?

But tonight is about our evil community coming together

- Hello? Hi, can I have everyone's attention please?

to say, "Hey, we're bad people...

- Hello? Hi, can I have everyone's attention please?

but we're still people."

- Hello? Hi, can I have everyone's attention please?

And we must give a big thank you

- Hello? Hi, can I have everyone's attention please?

to our free evil face painter!

- Hello? Hi, can I have everyone's attention please?

[ villains cheer ]

- Hello? Hi, can I have everyone's attention please?

- Yeah!

- Hello? Hi, can I have everyone's attention please?

- Now what I want everyone to do

- Hello? Hi, can I have everyone's attention please?

is talk to three villains you haven't talked to before,

- Hello? Hi, can I have everyone's attention please?

because an evil stranger is just an evil friend

- Hello? Hi, can I have everyone's attention please?

you haven't met yet.

- Hello? Hi, can I have everyone's attention please?

So go out there and be on your worst behavior and have fun.

- Hello? Hi, can I have everyone's attention please?

But not too much fun, okay?

- Hello? Hi, can I have everyone's attention please?

Betty...

- Hello? Hi, can I have everyone's attention please?

[ giggles neurotically ]

- Hello? Hi, can I have everyone's attention please?

- No, no, I love the name "Hawkfist"...

- 'Preciate that.

- No, no, I love the name "Hawkfist"...

- But do hawks... have... fists?

- No, no, I love the name "Hawkfist"...

- Yes!

- No, no, I love the name "Hawkfist"...

- I told you no one would get it.

- No, no, I love the name "Hawkfist"...

- I told you to shut up.

- No, no, I love the name "Hawkfist"...

- What about "Nighthawk?"

- No, no, I love the name "Hawkfist"...

- Look. You don't think that there's a day that goes by

- No, no, I love the name "Hawkfist"...

that I don't regret naming myself "Hawkfist?"

- No, no, I love the name "Hawkfist"...

- Or maybe "Hawk-ules?"

- No, no, I love the name "Hawkfist"...

- Oooh, 'cuz you're a hawk but you're strong.

- No, no, I love the name "Hawkfist"...

- Okay, love that.

- No, no, I love the name "Hawkfist"...

New Name! I'm Hawk-ules now!

- No, no, I love the name "Hawkfist"...

New name! Hawk-ules! That's me.

- No, no, I love the name "Hawkfist"...

Caw!

- Oh, I'm a reeeeeeeal bad person.

Caw!

Like... yeah.

Caw!

Sometimes I think of doing good things,

Caw!

and then I say, "Uhhh, no thank you."

Caw!

And then I do... y'know the baaaaaaad things.

Caw!

- Like what? - Hmm?

Caw!

- Like what? - Oh, you know.

Caw!

Think of the worst things that people can do.

Caw!

- Okay. - Got it.

Caw!

- Now double them.

Caw!

- Whoa! - Great!

Caw!

- Yeah. Uh-uh. That's me.

Caw!

Now while I have your ears...

Caw!

does anyone know which rascal nabbed all those books

Caw!

from The Swellview Library? Hmm? Anyone?

Caw!

Anyone know? Hmm? - No.

Caw!

- So, you know anything about all those books

that got stolen from The Swellview Library?

- So, you know anything about all those books

- Stealing books?

- So, you know anything about all those books

Na, that's too evil for me.

- So, you know anything about all those books

I'm just trying to flood a children's hospital.

- So, you know anything about all those books

- Why not just flood the whole town?

- So, you know anything about all those books

- What? - Yeah, what?

- So, you know anything about all those books

- I'm just sayin'... you wanna be evil,

- So, you know anything about all those books

blow up The Swellview Dam. You'll flood the whole town.

- So, you know anything about all those books

- No, I don't think that's a-- - Okay, that is fantastic.

- So, you know anything about all those books

- You're welcome. - I like you.

- So, you know anything about all those books

- I like me, too.

- So, you know anything about all those books

- You are going places, evil little girl.

- So, you know anything about all those books

- Maybe I'm already there.

- So, you know anything about all those books

- Hmm! - I have ideas.

- Stop trying to eat the paintbrush!

- But it looks like frosting...

- Stop trying to eat the paintbrush!

- Hey hey fellas!

- Stop trying to eat the paintbrush!

Good news for the ol' Lawn Ranger --

- Stop trying to eat the paintbrush!

my mom says I don't have to move out of the basement!

- Stop trying to eat the paintbrush!

- Hey uhh, I know we all hate Captain Man

- Stop trying to eat the paintbrush!

but uhh, you guys read his book?

- Stop trying to eat the paintbrush!

It's a pretty great read.

- Stop trying to eat the paintbrush!

- That dummy wrote a book?

- Stop trying to eat the paintbrush!

- It's a real page turner.

- Stop trying to eat the paintbrush!

- I can't remember the title.

- Stop trying to eat the paintbrush!

- Uh yeah, it's something like,

- Stop trying to eat the paintbrush!

"Man I feel like a hero, colon,

- Stop trying to eat the paintbrush!

"one Captain Man's journey of self-discovery, parenthesis,

- Stop trying to eat the paintbrush!

"a Captain Man-ifesto, asterisk,

- Stop trying to eat the paintbrush!

"the true story of the boy who became Captain Man,

- Stop trying to eat the paintbrush!

end parentheses, exclamation point."

- Stop trying to eat the paintbrush!

Or something like that.

- Stop trying to eat the paintbrush!

- Oh, yeah! We read it in our evil book club.

- Stop trying to eat the paintbrush!

No one made it through chapter one.

- Stop trying to eat the paintbrush!

- I think you mean "Cap-ter" one.

- Stop trying to eat the paintbrush!

- Oh that's right! He called the chapters "Cap-ters."

- Stop trying to eat the paintbrush!

- That's so stupid.

- Stop trying to eat the paintbrush!

- You're stupid!

- Stop trying to eat the paintbrush!

Caw-caw!

- Stop trying to eat the paintbrush!

- Hey there. - Ehhhh!

- Stop trying to eat the paintbrush!

- So, none of you know who stole those books?

- No. - Wait a second.

- So, none of you know who stole those books?

It could be Book-Thievin' Steven.

- So, none of you know who stole those books?

- Oh that's right.

- So, none of you know who stole those books?

- Are you guys talking about book-thievin'?

- So, none of you know who stole those books?

[ Villains in unison] - Steven!

- So, none of you know who stole those books?

- What is going on, bad guys?

- So, none of you know who stole those books?

- She was just wondering who stole all those books

- So, none of you know who stole those books?

from The Swellview Library.

- So, none of you know who stole those books?

- Oh. Yeah. That was me.

- So, none of you know who stole those books?

[ Villains laugh ]

- So, none of you know who stole those books?

- I mean, I didn't take all the books.

- So, none of you know who stole those books?

I left Captain Man's stupid one behind.

- So, none of you know who stole those books?

BETTY BLADES: 'Course.

- So, none of you know who stole those books?

- So why'd you wanna know?

- So, none of you know who stole those books?

- I just wanted to shake your hand!

- So, none of you know who stole those books?

Because it's such a really good crime

- So, none of you know who stole those books?

to steal books that are already free.

- So, none of you know who stole those books?

- Wow, that's a really firm grip.

- So, none of you know who stole those books?

- I mean, how do you even read all those books?!

- So, none of you know who stole those books?

- Oh, I don't read any of them.

- So, none of you know who stole those books?

- Oh! You don't even read them?!

- So, none of you know who stole those books?

- Nah. - Then what do you do with

- So, none of you know who stole those books?

all those free books that you steal?

- So, none of you know who stole those books?

- [ laughs ] Ohhhh, I burn some...

- So, none of you know who stole those books?

- Greaaaaaat.

- So, none of you know who stole those books?

- I shred some... - Suuuperrrrrrrr.

- So, none of you know who stole those books?

- But most of the time I just tear out the pages

- So, none of you know who stole those books?

one by one and use them to wipe my--

- So, none of you know who stole those books?

[ super-screams ]

- So, none of you know who stole those books?

- Face. I was gonna say my face.

- It's ShoutOut! - Who?

- She's not a villain. She's in Danger Force!

- It's ShoutOut! - Who?

- I'm outta here.

Byeeeeee...!

- I'm outta here.

[ music ]

- Okay, okay. Now we've all got lots of evil ideas

about what to do with this member of Danger Force

- Okay, okay. Now we've all got lots of evil ideas

that snuck into Villains Only Night.

- Okay, okay. Now we've all got lots of evil ideas

- Let's throw grass in her face!

- Okay, okay. Now we've all got lots of evil ideas

- No, Lawn Ranger, we're not going to--

- Okay, okay. Now we've all got lots of evil ideas

- Let's throw grass on her shoulders!

- Okay, okay. Now we've all got lots of evil ideas

- No! - Grass on her head!

- Okay, okay. Now we've all got lots of evil ideas

- Okay, it can't be grass every time, buddy.

- Okay, okay. Now we've all got lots of evil ideas

- It comes from the Earth man, it's good.

- Okay, okay. Now we've all got lots of evil ideas

- You know what they should do with her

- Okay, okay. Now we've all got lots of evil ideas

is get a buncha' battery acid and some steak knives...

- Okay, okay. Now we've all got lots of evil ideas

- Stop! Honestly... - No, no, no, no...

- Okay, okay. Now we've all got lots of evil ideas

- We're not trying to come up with ways to hurt her.

- Okay, okay. Now we've all got lots of evil ideas

- We need to save her. What are we gonna do?!

- Okay, okay. Now we've all got lots of evil ideas

- Relax. Hawkfist has a plan.

- Okay, okay. Now we've all got lots of evil ideas

- I thought you changed your name to Hawkules.

- Okay, okay. Now we've all got lots of evil ideas

- Oh, yeah. Then I changed it again.

- Okay, okay. Now we've all got lots of evil ideas

I'm now The "'Talon'-ted Mr. Hawkley."

- Okay, okay. Now we've all got lots of evil ideas

Caw-caw!

- I do not feel good about this plan.

Caw-caw!

- Quiet! Quiet!

Caw-caw!

[ villains all talking at once ]

Caw-caw!

- Alright everybody... let's cut the chatter.

Caw-caw!

Nice. All right.

Caw-caw!

The Talon-ted Mr. Hawkley will deal with this girl.

Caw-caw!

- Who's that, Hawkfist? - Me!

Caw-caw!

- I thought you were Hawk-ules--

Caw-caw!

- Moving on! I'm gonna scratch this girl!

Caw-caw!

And she will bleeeeeed!

Caw-caw!

[ villains in unison ] - Yeah!

Caw-caw!

- Okay, ShoutOut. Get ready to feel my talon punch!

Caw-caw!

- Shouldn't your talons be on your feet?

Caw-caw!

- Oh my god whatever. Just let me do this, shut up!

Caw-caw!

C'caw!

Caw-caw!

- Oh, no! I'm being scratched.

Caw-caw!

- Yeah! Get her, Hawk-u-les!

Caw-caw!

- That's three names ago try to keep up!

Caw-caw!

- Sorry!

Caw-caw!

SHOUTOUT: I'm definitely bleeding.

Caw-caw!

Oh, but I am so very defeated!

Caw-caw!

- Ehhhhh!

Okay then. I'm just gonna take her

back to my lair and feed her to my baby birds.

Okay then. I'm just gonna take her

- Wait a second. - What?

Okay then. I'm just gonna take her

[ villains in unison ] - Ewwwwww.

Okay then. I'm just gonna take her

- It tastes sweet.

Okay then. I'm just gonna take her

[villains in unison ] - Huuuhhhh?

Okay then. I'm just gonna take her

- Of course it does!

Okay then. I'm just gonna take her

The taste of victory is always sweet!

Okay then. I'm just gonna take her

- Yeah, but that's just jelly.

Okay then. I'm just gonna take her

[ villains in unison ] - Ohhhhhhh.

Okay then. I'm just gonna take her

- What? - Raspberry if I'm not mistaken.

Okay then. I'm just gonna take her

[ villains in unison ] - Mmmmmmmm.

Okay then. I'm just gonna take her

- The "Talon"-ted Mr. Hawkley must've used that donut!

Okay then. I'm just gonna take her

[ villains gasp ]

Okay then. I'm just gonna take her

- No I didn't. - But you did, though.

Okay then. I'm just gonna take her

- What?? - Right before you fake-scratched her.

Okay then. I'm just gonna take her

- And un-stuck her from the wall.

Okay then. I'm just gonna take her

THE BUTCHER: Yeah.

Okay then. I'm just gonna take her

- Are you even a real villain, bro?

Okay then. I'm just gonna take her

- What does this say? Huh?

Okay then. I'm just gonna take her

- I have no idea.

Okay then. I'm just gonna take her

- You kept scratching out your villain name

Okay then. I'm just gonna take her

and adding new ones.

Okay then. I'm just gonna take her

- Does one of them say "Hawk-late Milk?" - Maybe.

Okay then. I'm just gonna take her

- That's dumber than Captain Man's book.

Okay then. I'm just gonna take her

- All right! That's it!

Okay then. I'm just gonna take her

Where's my dang gum?

Okay then. I'm just gonna take her

- Are there any other members of Danger Force around here?

Okay then. I'm just gonna take her

- Yes. But not for long.

Okay then. I'm just gonna take her

Byeeeeeeee!

Okay then. I'm just gonna take her

- Okay, are there any more members of Danger Force here?!

Okay then. I'm just gonna take her

- My guy! My guy! - What are you doin--

Okay then. I'm just gonna take her

- Right here. Call myself Brainstorm.

Okay then. I'm just gonna take her

'Course, my real name's B--

Okay then. I'm just gonna take her

[ screams ]

Okay then. I'm just gonna take her

- It's Volt!

Okay then. I'm just gonna take her

[ villains gasp ]

Okay then. I'm just gonna take her

- Alright you jerks!

Okay then. I'm just gonna take her

Anybody wanna make fun of my book now?!

Okay then. I'm just gonna take her

[ villains all talking ]

Okay then. I'm just gonna take her

- I hate you all.

Okay then. I'm just gonna take her

- Get 'em!

Okay then. I'm just gonna take her

- Got it!

- Yah! - Yaahhh!

- Got it!

- Okay, I'm properly hydrated.

- Got it!

I can fight now!

- Got it!

- Yah!

- Got it!

Oh, come on!

- Ahhhhh!

Oh, come on!

- Huh! Uh!

- Ahhhhhh! - Ahhhh!

- Oh no. - No no no no no!

BOOK-THIEVIN' STEVEN: Ow!

- Oh no. - No no no no no!

- Mommy, come help meeeeeee!!!

Help me, mom!

- Mommy, come help meeeeeee!!!

- Daaaahhh! - Aaaahhhhh!!

- Ahhhh!

- Captain Man! We got him!

- Ahhhh!

- We got the book thief! - We did it!

- Ahhhh!

- Now let's see who he really is.

- Ahhhh!

- Ahhhhh! My face!

- Ahhhh!

- Brainstorm. Buddy, there's no mask.

- Ahhhh!

- Okay. So what do we do with him?

- Ahhhh!

- I have ideas.

- Ahhhh!

- Please don't. I'll do anything...

- Settle down, buddy.

- Please don't. I'll do anything...

You're gonna be here for thirty-two Cap-ters,

- Please don't. I'll do anything...

an Epilogue, an alt ending, and a whole section at the end

- Please don't. I'll do anything...

where I teach you how to draw a cartoon version of me.

- Please don't. I'll do anything...

- No no no no no please!

- Please don't. I'll do anything...

Please...please!

- Please don't. I'll do anything...

- But first! The introduction.

- Please don't. I'll do anything...

Written by me.

- Please don't. I'll do anything...

- Noooooooo!!!

- Please don't. I'll do anything...

- Hot chocolate just tastes better

- Please don't. I'll do anything...

after you catch a bad guy.

- Please don't. I'll do anything...

- Everything does.

- Please don't. I'll do anything...

- Honey, don't...

- Please don't. I'll do anything...

- Just let him.

- Please don't. I'll do anything...

- Can I get a little hot chocolate?

- Please don't. I'll do anything...

- Did you catch a bad guy?

- Please don't. I'll do anything...

- I saved ShoutOut.

- Please don't. I'll do anything...

- Sooooo you caught a good guy.

- Please don't. I'll do anything...

- Okay, that's not fair...

- Please don't. I'll do anything...

- Tastes pretty fair to me.

- Please don't. I'll do anything...

- If you could be nicer.

- Please don't. I'll do anything...

[ AWOL, Volt and ShoutOut argue ]

- Please don't. I'll do anything...

- Hey, let's cut the chatter back there!

- Please don't. I'll do anything...

Cap-ter one: The Beginning.

It all just kinda' "Captain'ed..."

Cap-ter one: The Beginning.

My father was an irresponsible scientist...

Cap-ter one: The Beginning.

and it was bring your kid to work day...

Cap-ter one: The Beginning.

♪ Always on the scene in the nick of time ♪

♪ The second I see trouble I know I'll be fine ♪

♪ Always on the scene in the nick of time ♪

♪ I'm okay ♪

♪ Always on the scene in the nick of time ♪

♪ I'm okaaaay! ♪

♪ Always on the scene in the nick of time ♪

♪ Danger ♪

♪ Always on the scene in the nick of time ♪

♪ Whoaaa-oooh ♪

♪ Always on the scene in the nick of time ♪

♪ Whoaaa-oooh ♪

♪ Always on the scene in the nick of time ♪

♪ Ooooh-ooooh ♪

♪ Always on the scene in the nick of time ♪

♪ Danger! ♪

♪ Always on the scene in the nick of time ♪

♪ One two three Force! ♪

♪ Always on the scene in the nick of time ♪