All language subtitles for Superstore s05e04_English

.

[bright music]

- So the takeaway is,
just never ask a customer

when she's due.

And, finally, some big news.

Are you ready for this?

- How should we know?

- Yeah, it kind of depends
what the news is.

- Guys,
the more we talk about it,

the more it won't live up
to the hype.

Let's just get it over with.
Amy.

- Thank you, Garrett.

The West Concord Mall...

is closing.

- Oh.
- The mall's gone?

[indistinct chatter]

- Really?
- That's crazy.

I lost my virginity there
and a lipstick I really liked.

- Wait, so you're telling me
I have to go

all the way to the airport
to get Sbarro's?

- I got my ears pierced
at the Claire's there,

and then that's where Emma got
her ears pierced.

Can't wait to tell her
that story

so she can say,
"Cool story, Mom,"

without looking up
from her cell phone.

Anyway...
Glenn, are you okay?

- We did it, Dina.
- We [bleep] did it.

[inhales sharply]

[indistinct chatter]

- I've been fighting that mall
for 40 years.

It undercut
my dad's hardware store.

It darn near took
this place under.

It took my youth.

It took my body.

- In what sense?

- I think the point is that
from a business perspective,

this is really good news
for us.

- Oh, yeah,
the death of retail--

that's great news
for our store.

- Sorry I'm late.

- Carol.
Hey, welcome back.

New look.
- New outlook.

Sedona changed everything
for me.

Or maybe I should say
it allowed me

to access the change
that was already there.

- [whispering] I think
we should drug-test her.

[upbeat music]

♪

- So I realized the best way
to attract a mall crowd

is to mall this place up.

I had them spray a bunch
of knockoff perfume everywhere.

I put some massage chairs
over on the breezeway.

We're giving away
free ear piercings,

and I had them bring in
the water fountain

from the Garden Center.

- The mall had all this stuff
in one place?

- Yeah, I mean,
I'm working with what we have.

It's not like I can put
a movie theater in here.

- The mall had movies, too?
[scoffs]

It sounds terrible.
I'm glad it's gone.

- And you know how mall walkers
love their free food.

Well, I bumped up
our sample stations.

Guess how many.
- You want me to guess how many

free sample stations
you arranged?

- Okay, never mind.
It was dumb.

I'm embarrassed.
- I mean, I guess

I got to say three.
- Four.

- Four?
- Is that a record?

- I mean,
corporate thought so.

- It's badass you got them
to okay that.

- It's pretty cool, right?

- Amy, it is so cool.

- Oh, hey, man,
Colleen and I went

to that Cuban place
you recommended.

- Oh, the place I said would be
good for a double date.

So you--you two went,
just, uh--just the two of you.

- Yeah.
- Huh.

So I guess you didn't get
to have the combo platter--

the signature dish,
serves four.

- No, we ordered that.

We just shared it with
the couple sitting next to us.

- Great, that sounds fun.
- Ugh.

- How's the job search going?

- Well, I need something
that's cash only

and under the table,

and I'm not willing to clean
anyone's garage

in my underwater,
so my options are limited.

- Well, you know,
I-I could just front you a--

- Thanks, but I'm not
your charity case.

You want to feel good
about yourself,

go teach some
inner-city kids poetry.

- Well, the joke's on you,

'cause they actually ended up
teaching me, you know.

And--and it wouldn't be
charity.

It's just an advance.

You pay me back when you can.
- I don't need any help.

I am gonna figure this out
on my own.

So new subject, please.

- So, uh, you guys watching

"Jersey Shore:
Family Vacation"?

- I'm not really watching
anything.

I mean, it's so hard to focus.
I'm so worried about money.

- So just let me--
- No.

- There are
so many extra bodies in here,

I had to call corporate
and ask them

to turn the thermostat down.

They refused.
But I bet we're raking it in.

- You know, funny
you should say that.

I just checked, and no.

- No?
How?

I mean, we have all this
extra mall traffic.

- Yeah, well, mall people
don't buy, they hang.

I hate people that treat
shopping like an adventure.

Give me a shut-in
who needs a sponge.

Anyway, should we start
rousting 'em?

- Well, I'm not exactly sure
what rousting entails,

but it wouldn't hurt
to remind them

that the store is
for customers only.

- Nice, I'll go warm up
for the rousting.

Sandra, get those kids
off the massage chairs.

- Those girls?

They look like
they're from "Euphoria."

- Well, they don't have
to go back there.

They just have to get off
the chairs.

- "Euphoria's" a show.

- Whatever, there's a bunch
of teens in the café.

We can start there.

- ♪ Spend my time on it

♪ Five-star,
gold-plated, VIP ♪

♪ First class,
why shouldn't we be... ♪

- Okay, kids, if you're not
gonna buy anything,

I'm gonna have to ask you...

- Um, I got to pee, guys.
I'll be right back.

- Don't get me wrong.
I like that you're here.

I just didn't think
you'd ever want to hang out

at your mom's work.

- Well, I tried to get them
to hang out

in the parking lot
of Tony Rotundo's,

but people wanted Wi-Fi.

- By the way,
who are those girls?

- Oh, those are
my drug-dealer friends.

We sit in the pile of broken
bottles by the bleachers.

- You're...you're joking.

So am I.
I'm in on this.

- Yeah, well, they're seniors,

and they're finally letting me
hang out with them.

And I was hoping you could be
cool about this,

but, obviously--

- No, no.
I-I-I can be cool.

I'm being cool.
Just hang out.

They won't even know
I'm your mom.

You know, there's free samples.
It's dumb.

Never mind.
That's stupid.

But there are four stations,
and one of them's hummus.

You love hummus.

- Stop knowing
what I like.

Ugh.

- [whimpers]
That's them.

Thanks for doing this,

but don't tell them
I needed you.

- Oh, I'm not even gonna
mention you.

I mean, no offense,
but it'd be really weird

if you came up.

Hey, guys.

Um, so I know this sucks,
but it'd be really chill

if you could find
somewhere else to hang out.

- "Chill"?
- Yeah.

You know, so the customers
can try these out

in case they want to buy them.

- Sounds chill.

[both laugh]

- [laughs]

I know.
These rules suck, right?

That's why we're laughing.

- [laughs]
Totally.

[cell phone chimes]
- [laughs]

- Wait, is that about me?

No, okay,
you don't get it.

I'm cool.

[cell phone chimes]

- You're okay.
You're okay.

Trust me, don't look back.
It only adds to the shame.

.

- Hey, gang, shame
about the mall closing.

It's like America's declared
war on public spaces.

[chuckles]
Anyway, get out.

- [laughs]

Good joke, Dina.
Put that on TikTok.

- What are you doing?
- Change of plans.

Emma's hanging out
with her friends.

- Wait, really?
That's Emma?

Man, she has the least
memorable face I've ever seen.

- Okay,
we're not kicking her out.

- What, we're just gonna
let her flout the rules?

I thought we were being
tough moms.

- I haven't gotten to spend
much time with her lately.

I'm so busy at work.

So she's spending
most of her time with Adam,

and then whenever
we are together,

she's just annoyed with me.

Like, the other day I said,
"You have a lovely smile."

And she looked me in the eye
and said,

"It skipped a generation."

Like, why?

- Because your mother has
an objectively better smile.

I mean, she lights up a room.

- It's a tricky time,

and I don't want to
make it worse.

- All right, look,
I'll give you a half an hour.

But, Amy, understand
this is an infestation.

Sure, the first termite
is cute,

but if you let
more of them come,

sooner or later,
bye-bye, houseboat.

- Don't you have
a gambling problem?

- It's the only way that I can
get him to take my money,

and it's not gambling
when it's a sure thing.

[exhales deeply]

Uh--no, you're crazy, Garrett.

I am 100% positive.

So, yes, I will take you up
on that bet.

- Okay, yes, 'cause this is
what is happening right now.

- Hey, Mateo.
Mateo, come here.

Settle something for us.

So I just said that Cher has
obviously never won a Grammy,

and Garrett is saying
that she has.

- I'm sorry, the goddess Cher,
as in Cherilyn Sarkisian?

- I assume.

I swear she's never won one,

and I will bet you 50 bucks
I'm right.

- Okay.
- I want in on this.

Cher absolutely has a Grammy.

- Okay,
get ready to lose 50 bucks.

[chuckles]

- Although, 50 is a lot,

and Jonah seems so sure.

Uh...oh, God.

[stammers] Maybe Cher
doesn't have a Grammy.

That's why she still works
so hard and keeps it so tight.

- Don't overthink it, Mateo.
- Oh, you know what?

I just remembered "Believe"...
- Mm-hmm.

- That one was a bop.
I might be wrong.

- Okay, stop second-guessing
yourself, Jonah.

- But you just said--

- I'm in.
50 bucks, no Grammy.

- Oh, um, uh, okay.
Um...

- And Cher has...

- One Grammy.

- For "Believe."

- Damn it.
I needed that money.

Oh, my God...

I snubbed Cher.

I didn't believe.

- W-would you like me
in the picture?

- Ew.

- Oh, are you
Snapchatting that?

You know, Snapchat, the app?

- Okay, ma'am.

- [scoffs]

I'm old!

This is how it happens.

All of a sudden, all the words
you know are wrong,

and there's some band
on the radio called the Eagles.

- Cheyenne, the Eagles are
a really famous band.

- You've heard of them?

- There's nothing wrong
with moving on

to a new phase of life.

Take me, for instance.

I used to run this place,

and now
I'm the free-sample guy.

One of four.

Oh, she's gonna try it.

Huh?

- [gags]

- And she did not like it,
not one bit.

I guess she's just not a fan
of raisins.

[gasps]
Oh, I...

- Okay, full "disclozh"--

I've never pierced
anyone's ears before,

but you've never had
your ears pierced before.

So we're in this together.

So let's just close our eyes
and go for it.

[breathes deeply]

- As the manager here,

I just wanted to welcome you

with some muffins,

and here are your receipts.

Just hang on to those
in case any employees

try to give you static
about not buying any.

Ugh.
Lame-os.

- Why are you being nice to us?

- Just because I know
kids need to eat after school.

Not because I have any.
I don't.

I can't.
I rode too many horses.

I'm an equestrian--
a champion equestrian.

- Thanks for the muffins!
Bye!

- Okay, bye.

- Um, what was that about?
- Oh, it's nothing.

- Look.
- [laughs]

[cash register beeping]

- What are you doing?

- I-I wanted to talk to you,
but I was scared,

'cause you're very confident
like astronauts.

- What?
That's so weird.

- Say other things.

- I don't--I don't what--um...

I take the bus to work.
I have a cat.

- Okay, I'm officially
obsessed with her.

- Yeah.

- Oh, so, will you come
out of those chairs for me?

- We would die for you,
like, now.

- Just the chairs are fine.

- [laughs]
Oh, Amy, you're very good.

All right, this is how
this is gonna go.

I'm gonna give you six minutes
to eat, then--five kids,

two bathroom stalls,
two minutes per poop--

at 4:39, you'll officially be
loiterers again.

- You know what?
Let's just go.

- No, no, no, hold on.

I'm sorry my colleague here
hasn't heard

the new store policy...

- Amy...

- Which is that there is
no minimum purchase,

and you can stay
till the store is closed,

and we're not gonna
bother you anymore.

So, uh, just do whatever.

- Really?
I got to text Blaze and Rustin.

- Blaze andRustin?

We're sunk.

.

[upbeat techno music]

♪

- Well, I hope your kid
stops hating you

before the store's destroyed.

- Okay, she doesn't hate me,
and it's really not that bad.

And--oh, I hadn't seen
what they'd done to the robot.

- Always penises.

Just once I'd like to see them
draw a vagina.

Never mind.
There they are on the back.

That's something.

- She's killing it.

- I'm just doing my job.

- Oh, my God, who says that?

I wish you were my mom.

- [scoffs] I wish they wished
I was their mom.

- Don't feel so bad.

I mean, sometimes people just
like who they like, you know?

No one would have ever thought
that the cool kids

would have liked me
in high school,

but they loved me.

Yeah, they always let me
give them gifts,

and they helped
out of the locker

when I somehow got
shoved inside.

- They did that to you?

- No, unidentified mean kids
did that.

My cool friends were
always nearby

laughing about something.

- Oh, my God, you're right.

Sandra's being mean-girled.

Glenn, your story
made me so sad,

but it was so helpful.

- Oh.
Okay, terrific.

- 50 bucks?
Oh, man, now you're talking.

Mateo, get in on this.

- I'm not betting
any more money.

- Ah, come on, you're not
gonna win if you don't play.

Besides, look at the--
look at the shot.

- [scoffs]

Oh, yeah, there's no way
he's making that.

I'm in.
- All right.

- [laughs]
All right.

- [exhales deeply]

[ball clinking]

Oh, my God, I made it.

- Damn it!
I'm down 100 bucks.

- What the hell?
- I don't know, man.

I didn't mean to, but...

Did you guys see that shot?
- You didn't meant to?

- Uh, Mateo's confused,

and the rule in gambling is,
if anybody's confused,

they get
all of their money back.

- Wait, have you guys
just been trying

to trick me into taking
your money?

- Yes, that's exactly
what we were doing,

but did you guys see the shot?

That's what's important here.

- So all this was a charity?

- In practice, it was
a lot more like robbery.

- Hey.

- Oh, hey.

How's it going
with your new friends?

- Good.

Yeah, I said lakes were cooler
than beaches,

and it took a second,
but everyone agreed with me.

- That's great.
I'm--I'm so happy for you.

- Yeah, so, um, thanks

for, like,
not being totally weird today.

- Yeah, no, I mean...pssht...

[snorts]
Of course.

Like, whatever.

[sighs]

- Hey, I just confiscated this.
It's been filled with bleach.

Now, I'll be the first to
admit, that is a funny concept.

But, come on, it's time
for these kids to go.

- No, Dina,
it's going so well with Emma.

She just told me
that I wasn't being too weird.

- Congratulations.

That said, we need to get them
out of here

before something like this
happens.

- Ooh, whoops.
Sorry about that.

- Go re-vest
- Okay.

- [sighs]
Okay, fine. Do it.

But if Emma asks,
you acted alone.

- No problem.

If I see and happen
to recognize Emma,

I will pass that on.

- Okay,
stop messing with Sandra.

- Literally,
what are you talking about?

- Oh, you know.

You've got her all like,
"Oh, boy, somebody likes me,

and I have something
to live for for once?"

It's mean.

- Was that supposed to be me?

- Yeah,
I'm sticking up for you.

Next thing, you're gonna be
going after her hair

and, you know,
the way that she stands.

- Oh, my God.
You're bullying her.

- I've never met
an actual bully in real life.

I thought they were just in,
like, old movies in the 1990s.

- No, you're the bullies.

- Ma'am, I hope
you find peace, okay?

- [softly] Oh.
No, no, no.

- Oh, Mateo, you obviously
didn't have to--

- I chose to make those bets.

I'm gonna pay you
what I owe you.

- $4.
- Slowly.

Like, this is all my fault.

I knew Jonah had
a gambling thing,

but I just thought that meant
he was good at it.

Why would you have a hobby
that you suck at?

Okay, you know what?

If I suck, why don't you just
bet against me this time?

It'll give you a chance
to erase the debt.

- No, thanks. You've messed
with me enough already.

- Oh, come on, come on, we'll
just flip a coin, you know.

If you win, then we're square.

If you lose,
then, you know, whatever.

Double screwed
is just screwed, right?

- That's really smart.

- Is it?

- Heads.

[exhales deeply]

- It's heads.
both: Nice!

- Okay.
Let's--let's do it again.

- Are you sure?
'Cause this seems like

a pretty good stopping point.
- 20 bucks?

- Yeah, fine by me.

Heads.

Wow.
I am good at this.

- Well, it's random luck.

- No, it's not.
I have a system.

- Of guessing heads, yeah.
[chuckles]

- Well, it keeps
beating you, so...

- [laughs] Yeah, okay.
Okay, um, again.

I'm assuming you want--
you want heads.

- Got to follow my system.

- And it's heads!
- Yeah!

- You okay?
- Again.

- Hey, guys.
Want to hear some hot goss?

I'm gonna kick you the [bleep]
out of the store.

- What?
- You heard me.

Pack up your SunnyDs and your
Tamagotchis and hit the road.

- You're changing
the rules on us.

Is this because of our age?
- Absolutely.

- So it's discrimination.

- What--what are you--
what are you doing?

- Documenting injustice.
- Continue.

You were saying this was
a discriminatory policy.

- Why can't you
just kick them out?

- I tried.
They started filming me.

And I don't want
to become a meme

like that racist barbecue woman
with the cool sunglasses.

- So we have to make them
want to leave.

So let's just think of places
that teens like to go.

- That's easy.

The hop.

- How old are you?

- Have we thought about using

the teachings
of the Sacred Wheel

to show them the
interconnectedness of all life?

- Yes, Carol, we did try that.

I think you were
in the bathroom.

- Oh.

- Hmm, what about,
like, the mall?

- Eugene, you're excused.

- Okay.

- [sighs]

- Oh, God,
they've breached.

[sighs]
That's it.

It's their store now.
[microwave door closes, beeps]

- What'd you say?

.

- Let's go.
Again, again.

- Heads.
[chuckles]

- What?
- [laughs]

- Okay, you know what?

You're down 200 bucks.
Let's just stop.

- No, no, no, no, no.
One more time, one more time.

Double or nothing.

If it's tails,
we all walk away even.

- And if it's heads?
- It's not gonna be heads.

Flip the coin.

- It's heads.
- [laughs]

$400.

[laughs]
Thank you guys so much.

Oh, God,
it feels so much better

winning this money fair
and square.

[squeals, laughs]

- [sighs]

[papers rustle]
- Feel good to help people?

- Don't, uh, tell Amy
about this.

- Gonna have to Febreze
that couch for a long time.

- [sighs]
- Hey, Cheyenne.

You're young.

Any ideas
on how we get rid of them?

- I'm not young.

[scoffs]
Maybe I never was.

- Well, you broke Cheyenne.
I hope you're happy.

All to try and make your
daughter think you're cool.

- No, I'm not trying to get
Emma to think I'm cool.

I just don't want her to think
that I actively suck.

- Mm, sorry,
but she's gonna.

You're her mom.
She's a teenager.

Back then, I thought my mom was
a dork, and she was in prison.

- [sighs] Yeah, I guess
this is a losing battle.

I mean, the more
I try and get to her,

the further
she runs away.

- Because you're lame.

[scoffs]
You're lame as hell.

- In Emma's eyes.
- Among other places.

Amy, the things
you've been suppressing

are exactly what we need.

You're not
some hip checked-out mom.

You're a smothering, doting,
teary mess,

and we need to show
those children that mess

in all its horrifying glory.

- ♪ You can kiss my

♪ K-k-kiss my

♪ You can tell lies

- Uh, what is all this?

- We just wanted to let you
know that we believe in you.

- [scoffs]

- Uh, uh, why are you
taking my picture?

- Mason, right?

Congratulations, Mason.
You're our Teen of the Week.

I'm gonna put this picture on
our website, on the Internet.

- Ma'am, what are you doing?

- Well, um...

everybody,
I wanted to let you know

that I am so proud of you...

of who you are,
of who you're becoming.

And even though there's
some distance between us--

you know,
customers and employees--

I know that,
ultimately, this...

journey that you're on is
leading to a wonderful place.

And I know I said that it was
possibly problematic

that you're GarageBand beats

had too many
African influences,

but that was authentic to you,
so that is enough for me.

And I am speaking
to all of you, obviously...

metaphorically...

and I love you.

I love you so much.

I love you all so much.

- This sucks!

Let's go check out
the parking lot.

- Bye-bye.

Come back tomorrow,
and we'll show you

some educational videos
about your changing bodies.

Well done, Amy.

That was truly painful
to watch.

- Yeah, that was brutal.

If you were my mom, I'd never
talk to you again.

- Thank you.
- Hey, Amy.

Uh, I was just wondering

if I could take off
just a-a teeny bit early.

[camera beeps, shutter clicks]
- Hmm.