All language subtitles for Superstore 5x21 - California Part 1.AVS_SVA.en-en

Hey. Just got an email from HR.

Carol's doing pretty well.
She can say her consonants again.

Nice. Whole words
should be any day now.

So you're up for a job at Zephra, huh?

What?

- Close the door.
- Oh.

How did you hear?

I have my ways.

Specifically, corporate called
and asked me for a reference.

I mean, I have my ways,

but I didn't need to use them this time.

Okay. Well, what did you tell them?

The truth. You're smart, hardworking,

and a lot of fun to be around
in medium quantities.

Okay. Yeah.

That could've gone worse.

So what happens if you get it?

You and Pretty Boy gonna
move out to Zephra HQ,

abandon us for that California life?

Sucking down avocados,

Jonah wearing T-shirts in pools.

Jonah doesn't even know about this yet.

It's just the regional
round of interviews,

and it's such a long shot that

it's not worth getting into a whole
conversation about our future.

So this'll just be
our little secret then.

Like how Sayid has a huge wang.

That's not... wait, really?

Okay, look, I'm just gonna be
gone for a couple hours,

so I told Jonah
I'm going to the eye doctor.

Will you please just...

Got it. You're putting your trust in me

and I will do everything in my power

to ensure that Jonah does not find out.

Your powers are not really needed here.

Just pretend like nothing is happening.

One performance of a
lifetime coming right up.

There's no performance necessary.

Don't worry. I got this.

Just... less is more!

Nothing is best!

Synced and corrected by hawken45
for www.addic7ed.com

I can't believe that Brett
gets to be the Easter Bunny.

I was begging to do it,
but corporate said

that anyone who asks
more than three times can't

'cause of pedophile stuff.

Hate to agree with corporate,
but that policy feels right.

It's Easter fever
at our place right now.

Jerry's been practicing his
finding skills for the egg hunt.

He's... he's getting there.

Being newlyweds sounds so fun.

You must be doing it all the time.

Uh-huh.

All that sex and no baby.

When's Jerry gonna
put the bun in the uterus?

Fair question, but actually,

when we're ready, we're gonna adopt.

There's so many kids
out there who need homes.

Plus, we love our cat,
and we adopted her.

Right, as opposed to
birthing her yourself.

Oh, that is wonderful.

A family is the greatest gift
that you can give a child and...

and it makes sense, 'cause you know,

it can be hard to get
pregnant at our age.

Oh, I think I'm actually
younger than you.

Oh. Okay.

Younger, taller, sure.

Whatever you need
to tell yourself, Sandra.

? Happy birthday to you ?

? Happy birthday to you ?

Aww. You don't have to...

? Don't interrupt me, dear Cheyenne ?

? Happy birthday to ?

? You ?

Thanks, but my birthday
isn't till Saturday.

Oh, I know. I just wanted to make sure

that when you finally
have your first legal drink,

it's from me.

- So are we gonna have a party?
- Nah.

We're broke as ass right now,

so we'll probably just
stay home and eat SpaghettiOs

and listen to the neighbors fight.

No, you...

you have to have a party.

Just ask your friends to chip in

or, I don't know, charge them to come.

You think people wanna pay
to watch me get drunk?

Cheyenne, you're young and hot.

People would pay
to watch you kill a goat.

Thank you.

We are throwing you a party.

Yay!

Sorry.

I'm a little nervous.

Yeah, me too.

So are you coming
from consulting or finance?

Um, retail.

Ah.

Oh, look at that.

All Latinas.

Oh.

That's funny.

More like Zephra
looked in their crayon box

and realized they're
missing a brown one.

Oh, I don't think it's that.

She could be Greek.

Could you restock the Icelandic yogurt

when you get a chance?

Apparently, every country
in Europe gets a shot now.

Yeah, I will, although I'll
have to check with Amy

because I'm not sure the new
shipment came in last night.

Well, Amy is at the eye doctor.

Yeah, I know. I mean when she gets back.

From the eye doctor.

- Yep.
- 'Cause that's where she is.

Mm-hmm.

They're checking her out
for a dead spot.

- What?
- Yeah.

Right eye, 10 degrees off center,

about the size of a baseball, she said.

Wow, that's a lot of detail.

It is, and I bet you're wondering

why she hasn't mentioned it.

It's because she
doesn't want you to worry.

- Uh-huh.
- Yeah.

You know, because
if the dead spot gets worse,

and let's be honest, it will,

you're gonna be the person
taking care of her.

Feeding, bathing, describing the ocean.

Anyway, it's gonna be beautiful.

Like a Nicholas Sparks novel.

I'm excited about that for you.

Tony!

Thank you for coming.

Sandra, this is Tony,

one of my original foster kids,

but the family he's living with
is moving to Canada, you know,

and Jerusha and I have
our hands so full with Rose.

Anyway, you were saying

how you and Jerry wanted
to adopt a child, so...

So she should adopt this gentleman?

Um...

- Wow. Thank you, but...
- Okay, look,

I know you weren't planning
on adopting right away,

but Tony is such an incredible kid.

He's a straight-A student,
captain of the baseball team,

and he makes an amazing
grilled cheese sandwich.

I butter both sides of the bread.

Oh, so good.

Well, I just don't know if...

Okay, look, you don't
have to decide right now,

but tell you what,
why don't we all have lunch

and see if any sparks fly, huh?

Okay.

This is weird, right?

Well, this is what happens

when a company realizes
that Latinas spend money.

Yeah.

Hey, if it gets me a seat at the table,

I'm not above rolling my Rs.

Yeah, sometimes you just
gotta do the dance.

Right. Right.

But you don't mean, like,
a literal dance, right?

'Cause I don't know any.

Amy Sosa?

That's me.

Um...

Amelia Sosa.

Or just... just Amy is fine.

All right, I texted Amy
and she's not responding,

but there is obviously no such thing

as an eye dead spot.

Which I know because I looked it up.

All right, fine.
I'll tell you the truth.

She's not at the eye doctor.

She's taking a saxophone lesson.

She wants to surprise you
with a smooth jazz version

of a contemporary hit.

Okay. Dina.

You have to tell me where Amy is.

Totally. I'd love to.

It's just that...

Brett is biting it so hard
at being the Easter Bunny.

Look at him.

He's garbage.

- I gotta go tag in.
- No, I...

I know you're lying!

Brett was born to wear that suit!

Oh, we could get,
like, a Red Bull fountain.

Ooh, or we could have,
like, a bunch of lizards there

but, like, you could get 'em high

and see what they do.

All I'm saying is that 21
is literally the last good age,

so this party needs
to be a little elevated.

Maybe a string quartet?

Ooh, butter in a sophisticated shape?

Oh. Okay, cool.

Yeah, so, like, one of those parties

with, like, wine and coats.

Like, people are like, "Oh,
where do I put my coat?"

and someone says,

"Oh, just put it in Donna's room."

It doesn't have to
be stuffy. Just nice.

We could do specialty cocktails.

Or we could tape a fifth of Fireball

to every guest's hand

and then whoever finishes last
has to roll all the joints

or call the hospital.

Over the years, I've learned

that our customers
just want the best price,

plain and simple.

So if we promote Zephra's
online sales in store,

that gets you a bunch of new traffic.

Uh-huh.

And what about customers of color?

Do you have any
strategies for connecting

with any particular demographic?

Um...

Yeah. Sure.

Of course.

As a Latina...

I know that...

family is very important to our culture,

so I'm thinking...

shared family accounts
with distinct user profiles.

See? Right there.

That's something
we wouldn't have thought of.

- Really fresh perspective.
- Yeah.

I mean, all I know is that my mom,

she uses my Zephra account
for everything,

and I'm just like, "Mam�, ven ac�."

"I have your achiote paste."

It's a Honduran staple.

Oh.

Did you grow up in Honduras?

Well, um...

not physically,

but if you think of it
in a broader sense,

like, in the cultura that
was passed down to me,

then...

Still no.

Um, look, it's pretty obvious
that you invited me here

to interview for your
resident Latina or whatever...

- No, that's not what we're...
- No, no.

It's more about fresh perspectives.

Right, right.
I'm qualified for this job

because I have 17 years of experience,

and I know everything there is
to know about our customers,

but if all you're looking for

is somebody with a spicy last name,

then I suggest you keep looking.

That's my water.

I'm sorry.

So, Tony, Sandra is from Hawaii.

Cool. Do you surf?

No, I've never been to the beach.

But I've seen people surfing.
Like, in pictures.

Oh! Radical.

Hey, sorry to interrupt
your surprise adoption.

Oh, no, you missed it.

They were just getting
along like gangbusters.

They have so much in common,
like they're both pet lovers.

Yeah, Sandra has a cat
and Tony has an aquarium.

Tell her how many sharks you have, Tony.

- Three.
- Three.

Oh.

What are their names?

They don't have names.
They're sharks.

Yeah.

Obviously, we're gonna
have a red carpet area,

although lately,
purple's sort of having a day.

Uh-huh. Oh, hey, Bo!

What's up, Chey?

I just stopped in
to use the employee bathroom.

Man, that flushes like an airplane!

'Sup, Mateo?

We're actually planning
Cheyenne's 21st.

Oh, yeah, she texted me.

Said your ideas were, like, hella lame.

Oh, not lame.

- Just...
- Yeah, man.

She said you're, like, all up in here

trying to serve people fish
and strawberries,

making it all, like,
Mozart and Amadeus and whatnot.

Yo, we're just trying to get turnt.

Well, I didn't realize
we were trying to get turnt.

I can do turnt.

What if we serve White Claws?

Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

I got an idea that doesn't suck.

How about everybody's got roller skates

and when you fall down,
you gotta take a sip.

Oh, yeah.

- That'd be awesome.
- Yeah.

Right, right.

Oh, and we could also
hand out colored wigs.

Oh, yeah. Smart.

Yo, don't write that down.

That's, like, a bad idea...

oh, you're just pretending.

Yeah, it's all good.

Dina, come on.
Just tell me where Amy is.

The Easter Bunny doesn't talk.

No, I know, and that's
very convenient for her.

You're in the shot.

Okay, Janet, relax.
You're not Anne Geddes.

All right, fine.
Then we will do it this way.

Thank you so much. Happy Easter.

Look away, kids.

Oh.

Hi, Brett.

What...

Amy?

Oh, what, you actually
thought I'd get in that suit?

I've been hiding in my truck.

That thing's soaked in urine.

Every millennium
has one party that craps bombs

on every other party
that millennium.

This time, that party
is Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Cheyfest.

Musical acts, fire eaters, cryotherapy,

a hawk, fog and foam,

surprises, expected things, diversity,

and all your favorite

celebrities...

Cheyfest 2020.

Get destroyed!

Isn't it great?

Yeah, no, I...

I love that it's just
a mishmash of random stuff.

You know, just weird chaos.
No theme at all.

Oh, I thought the theme was
"crap bombs on other parties."

- Yeah, it is. I said it in the video.
- Yeah.

Need some glasses
for your ears now too, old man?

Okay, I love all these ideas,

but how are you guys gonna
get all this stuff?

Bo can borrow his grandma's car.

No, I mean logistically.

It's just... all this stuff
you're promising sounds...

Sounds super litty.

- Cool.
- Yeah.

And if you want, we can also
do the fish and strawberries.

I never said fish and strawberries.

I just think it's a little weird

that you felt you had to hide
the interview from me.

I just didn't wanna get
into some big discussion

about how we do it or what it meant.

I mean, I figure I'm not gonna get
the job anyway, and I was right.

I mean, I don't think they liked it

when I basically accused them
of being racist.

Yeah, well, you're better off.

Yeah, and who wants to go
to California anyway?

It's just, like, pretentious Florida.

Ugh, totally. And the way they
manage their water resources?

Get out of here, California.

And their nice weather?

Just... it makes you soft.

- Pass.
- Hello.

Yeah, this is Amy.

You got the job?

I got the job.

Look, Sandra,
I gotta say something here.

You know you don't have
to adopt that child...

man, really,

he's a full-grown man...

just because Glenn wants you to.

I just feel bad

because he seems like a good kid

and he doesn't have parents, you know?

Yeah, but he could have kids.

So what have I gotta do

to put that boy into your home
today, huh?

You know, Glenn,

I really, really wanna be a mom

and I'm definitely planning to adopt,

but I wasn't planning to do it today.

Oh, no. Of course not, no.

Adoption isn't that simple.
It can be a long process.

But as a first step,

I was able to work my connections

with the foster agency,

and they can arrange for Tony
to sleep at your house

starting tonight.

Oh.

It's good to have connections.

You know, Glenn, you can't expect her

to take this kid into her home
without talking to Jerry first,

right, Sandra?

Yeah, I should really
discuss this with him.

Oh. Yeah, absolutely.

Why don't you call him now?

Oh, now?

Um, okay.

Hi. It's me.

Glenn wants us to adopt
a 17-year-old and his sharks.

Uh-huh. Three of them.

Yep, you're right.

I'll tell him.

Thanks.

He's okay with it.

Are you sure?

'Cause he could have said anything,

and we wouldn't know.

Yeah.

They loved my passion and my story.

Apparently, I have a story.

And they're...
they're gonna make me an offer.

That's great.

So what are you gonna tell 'em?

I mean, a high-paying corporate job

where I'll never have to say

the words "raccoon carcass" again?

I think I...

I think I might take it.

Oh.

- What?
- No, it's just I...

A second ago, you seemed so annoyed

by being treated like the token Latina.

Yeah, no, I mean...

but at least they're
thinking about diversity.

That's a good thing, right?

Do you even want to work there?

Yeah.

They liked my ideas,
and I think I could...

I could make a difference.

For a billion-dollar corporation?

And for the people here.

Look, I know that that's
what you want to do,

I get that, but... I mean, come on.

How often does that really happen?

So what am I supposed to do, Jonah?

Just stay the manager here forever?

I've been here for 17 years.

I don't have a degree.

Or, like, family connections
or, like, any other options.

This is my chance.

Honestly, I don't care
why they're giving me the job.

It's a good job, and...

I'm gonna take it.

Well, then...

Congratulations.

Thanks.

Oh. Hey, Mateo, can I ask you something

and promise not to freak out?

- No.
- Uh-huh.

Okay, so if 500 people
bought tickets to my party,

how many do you think
will actually show up?

Probably, like, 30, right?

You sold 500 tickets?

My friend Chloe reposted it,

so it really took off
in the foot fetish community.

- Chey, this is really bad.
- Well, it's all your fault!

You're supposed to be
the responsible adult

who talks me out of doing dumb stuff.

You said my ideas were lame!

They were, but mine
were, like, too good.

Maybe it'll be okay though.

Wait, is there a thing

where if you promise
something to someone

and they pay for it,

you have to give them
the thing that you said?

Yes.

- But, like, legally?
- Yes.

Oh, dang. I was hoping no.

Hey.

Did you hear Amy got that job?

She's gonna be making
so much more money than you.

Yeah, well, she already does.

Yeah, but now she's really
running up the score.

Anyway, she's gonna kill it
out in California.

I mean professionally.

She's gonna take a major hit
in the hotness rankings.

So you're okay with Amy leaving?

Me? Oh, no, I hate it.

I'm gonna go home and stress eat

an entire jar of olives.

But this is pretty huge for her.

Yeah. Yeah. It is, yeah.

It's good that you're
being so supportive.

I went a different direction with it.

Really? Come on.

You're a light-boned weakling
who brings in no money.

I mean, if you're not
emotional support for Amy,

then what's the point of you?

I mean, I've seen you drive.
That's a mess.

- You can't grow facial hair.
- Okay, I get it.

I think about you holding a hammer

and try not to laugh.

I'm picturing it now.

I wish you could see this.
You're really struggling.

So I talked to Jerry,

and he said we could probably
fit your shark tank

in the kitchen if we take out the oven.

Cool.

Who's Jerry?

He's your new dad.

Oh.

Can we stop at Panda Express?

Sure.

Mom, stop.

Hey.

What's going on here?

Some kid bit the butt

off every single one
of these chocolate bunnies.

Some future murderer I assume.

Oh, 100%.

So I found a really
great place for you.

It's, like, 10 minutes
away from Zephra,

and it's right by a park
so Parker could play

and you could teach Emma to play chess.

Once I teach you.

Also, I found a couple options
in Menlo Park.

Jonah.

Apparently, the public
transportation is really easy.

Jonah, what is this?

What are you doing?

I'm... I'm getting on board.

You've got a great opportunity here

and I'm excited for you.

So you don't think I'm selling out.

I think you're right.

You gotta do this.

Well, I appreciate that.

Because there's so much to think about.

I mean, there's the kids and...

What am I gonna do about Emma's school?

And then there's this guy
that I'm seeing in St. Louis.

Well, maybe...

that guy you're seeing should just...

go with you.

Oh.

Wow.

You mean, like...

like, he would just move to California?

For me?

Yeah, I mean, well...

you know, why should
you be the only one

who gets a taste
of that sweet public transpo?

Yeah, but their water
resource management is...

I can overlook it.

Okay.

Yeah.

Let's... let's move to California
together.

Let's do it.

And just to be clear,

when you say "this guy
you're dating in St. Louis,"

that's me, right, because
if you're seeing somebody else,

I'd prefer he not come with us.

Okay. I was just... just checking.