Original subtitles

I'M SICK OF BEINGN A FOOL FOR LOVE!

ANNOUNCER: PREVIOUSLY ONN "SISTAS"...

ZAC CAME TO THE SALON,N TALK ABOUT HOW MUCH HE LOVE ME.

JEROME, YOU KNOW,N HE AIN'T CALL ME IN FOREVER.

CALVIN FOUND MY VIBRATOR.

HE SHOVED IT SO FAR UP HIS ASS,N I COULDN'T FIND IT.

OH, GIRL, YOU WIN.

I LOVE HER, AND I'M SO SORRYN THAT I DIDN'T GIVE HER

THE ATTENTION SHE NEEDED.

THE BOY LOVES YOU, KAREN.

HE MADE A MISTAKE. COME GET HIMN OUT MY HOUSE.

I JUST WANTED TO TELL YOUN THAT I WANT US

TO TRY AND WORK THROUGH THIS.

YOU TRYING TO POISON ME?

SO YOU'RE THE BITCHN ... MY HUSBAND.

YOU GONNA ANSWER ME?

I DON'T HAVEN ANYTHING TO SAY.

SHE KNOWS.

OK, WELL, THEN, THERE'S NO NEEDN FOR YOU TO BE HERE.

OH, YES, THERE IS.

- WELL, MISS BORDERS, I--N - SIT DOWN, BITCH!

I AM NOT GONNA ALLOW YOUN TO COME TO MY OFFICE

AND DISRESPECT ME.

I SAID SIT DOWN.

LESLIE: PLEASE. SHE DIDN'T WANTN TO COME, BUT I CONVINCED HER.

PLEASE.

AND WHY WOULD I SIT DOWN?N SO YOU CAN DESTROY ME?

MISS BARNES.

YOU KNOW WHAT, DO WHATEVERN YOU'RE GONNA DO.

OK? I DON'T HAVE TO BEN A PART OF THIS.

SIT, PLEASE.N PLEASE.

YOU...ARE THE LOWESTN KIND OF WHORE THERE IS.

YOU KNEW HE WAS MARRIED,N AND YOU LET ME COME IN HERE,

POUR MY HEART OUT TO YOU,

AND YOU KNEW.

I'M GONNA HAVE YOU DISBARREDN AND FIRED.

AND YOUR NAME?N THAT'LL BE MUD.

'CAUSE SEE, I HAVE FRIENDS INN HIGH PLACES IN MEDIA,

AND I'M GONNA MAKE SUREN THEY KNOW EXACTLY

WHAT KIND OF PARIAH YOU ARE.

- AND THAT'S YOUR RIGHT.N - MMM.

- HAVE A GOOD DAY.N - NO, NO.

NOW, LISTEN. I WAS TELLING HERN SHE NEEDED TO COME

AND GET THATN OFF OF HER CHEST.

AND YOU DESERVE THAT.N - THAT AND MORE.

I WANTED HER TO COME 'CAUSEN I THINK YOU COULD HELP HER.

HA. I DON'T WANT HER HELP.

LESLIE: BUT YOU WANTN ALL OF HIS MONEY.

NOW, MISS BARNES,

I THINK YOU COULD BEN VERY HELPFUL TO HER.

WHY WOULD I WORKN WITH HER?

YOU WANT TO TELL HER?

I COULD HELPN MAKE YOUR CASE STRONGER.

LESLIE: AND AFTER ALL THE HELLN HE'S PUT YOU BOTH THROUGH,

I THINK YOU SHOULDN CONSIDER IT.

AND WHAT'S IN IT FOR ME?

NOTHING.

LESLIE: SHE WILL SIGNN AN AFFIDAVIT

SAYING THAT YOUN RECUSED YOURSELF

THE DAY SHEN WALKED IN HERE.

INDEMNIFYING MEN AND MY FIRM?

YES.

OK. WHAT DO WEN DO NEXT?

I'M NOT DOING NOTHINGN UNTIL YOU TELL ME EVERYTHING.

OK.

TALK.

WOMAN: ? WHEN MY GIRLSN HOLD ME DOWN ?

? THEM BOYS MESS AROUND ?

? MY LOVE LIFEN IS A HEADACHE ?

? WE GOIN' OUT TONIGHT ?

? 'CAUSE I'M LOOKIN'N FOR LOVE, FOR LOVE ?

ANDI: WHAT DO YOUN WANT TO KNOW?

NO. WE'RE NOT DOING THAT.

- DOING WHAT?N - THAT.

YOU SPOON-FEEDING MEN INFORMATION?

LESLIE, I'M NOT GONNA BEN ABLE TO TALK TO YOUR CLIENT

IF THIS IS--N - NO, TALK.

JUST TALK.

COME ON, TELL MEN HOW YOU MET HIM.

I WAS OUT OF TEA.N IT'S A TEA THAT I LOVE.

AND I WENT TON MY FAVORITE GROCERY STORE,

AND HE WAS THERE.

I WAS LOOKING A MESS,N AND I COULDN'T REACH IT.

SO HE SAID,N "I COULD REACH IT FOR YOU."

AND HE DID.

AND WE TALKED, AND HE TOLD MEN HIS NAME WAS GARY.

AND HE TOLD ME HE LIKEDN MY BUNNY SLIPPERS.

I HAD ON BUNNY SLIPPERS.

I TOLD HIM THATN I WAS REALLY CUTE

AND THAT HE JUST CAUGHT MEN ON AN OFF DAY,

THAT I NEVER LEAVE THE HOUSEN LOOKING A MESS.

AND HE SAID..."YOU'RE BEAUTIFULN THE WAY YOU ARE."

AND HE SAID THATN IF HE WASN'T MARRIED

HE WOULD ASK ME OUT.

AND I TOLD HIM THATN HE HAS NO IDEA

HOW MUCH I APPRECIATEDN HIS HONESTY.

AND THAT WAS IT.N I LEFT.

BUT THEN, I CAME BACKN 2 WEEKS LATER AFTER WORK...

DRESSED TO THE NINES.

AND HE SAID, "DAMN."

AND I SAID, "WHAT?"

AND HE SAID, "YOU TOLD MEN YOU WERE CUTE...

"BUT I TOLD YOUN YOU WERE BEAUTIFUL.

SO I WIN."

AND THEN HE SAID,N "TELL ME SOMETHING."

"WHY ARE YOU HERE ALONE?"

HOW DO YOU KNOW?

AND THEN HEN STARTED TELLING YOU

ABOUT ALL OF HISN HUMANITARIAN WORK?

YEAH.

AND THEN HE TOLD YOU ABOUTN HOW MUCH HE LOVES

HIS FAMILY, HIS MOM?

HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT?

HMM. MODUS OPERANDI.

HE TOLD HER THE SAME THING.

JASMINE: BUT HE WASN'T MARRIED.

HOW COULD YOU DO THAT?

HOW COULD YOU BE WITH A MANN KNOWING THAT HE WAS MARRIED?

HE SAID HE WAS UNHAPPYN AND THAT HE WAS DIVORCING YOU.

AND HE SAID THAT...

HE SAID THAT YOU...

SAY IT.

SAY IT.

HE SAID THATN HE WAS VERY SEXUAL...

AND THAT YOU HAD AN EMERGENCYN WITH YOUR LAST CHILD

AND HAD TO GETN AN EARLY HYSTERECTOMY.

HE TOLD YOU THAT?

FINISH TALKING!

HE SAID...

HE SAID THAT HE FEELS ALONEN WHEN HE'S WITH YOU...

AND I MAKE HIM HAPPY.

HE SAYS THAT...

I MAKE HIM FEEL WANTED AGAIN.

IT WAS MONTHS OF HIM TRYINGN BEFORE I EVEN WENT TO COFFEE.

BUT THEN HE GOTN IN MY HEAD. HE JUST--

HAVE YOU EVER BEENN INSIDE OF MY HOUSE?

ANDI: NEVER. I WOULDN NEVER DO THAT.

IS THIS YOUR EARRING?

ANDI: NO.

LESLIE: SHE FOUND THATN IN HER BED.

I'M SORRY.

BITCH, YOU DON'T GETN TO BE SORRY.

YOU DON'T GETN TO BE SAD.

HE'S MY HUSBAND.N HE'S MINE!

I HOPE ALL THE PAINN THAT YOU HAVE CAUSED

ME AND MY CHILDRENN COMES TO LIVE WITH YOU

IN YOUR HOUSEN AND YOUR HEART EVERY DAY.

[SNIFFS]

BITCH, I ... HATE YOU!

I HOPE YOU LIVE A LONG LIFE FULLN OF PAIN AND MISERY ON PURPOSE.

- WAIT, JASMINE--N - NO, NO, NO.

- I CAN'T DO THIS.N - I THINK IF--

I SAID I CAN'T DO THIS!

[CRYING]

I WILL TALK TO HER.

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

SHE WANTS TO SUE YOUN AND THIS FIRM

AND HAVE YOU DISBARRED.

SORRY.

I DID IT.

LESLIE: OK.

WELL, I WILLN TALK TO HER, BUT...

HERE'S MY CARD.

IF YOU CAN THINK OFN ANYTHING AT ALL

THAT CAN HELP HER,N I WANT YOU TO LET ME KNOW.

HUH!

- LOOK AT YOU!N - LOOK AT YOU.

WHAT IS THIS?

IT'S WHAT I CALLN A LITTLE BREAKFAST IN BED.

KAREN: OH.

BUT, UH, YOU DON'T COOK.

DON'T JUDGE ME.N DON'T--DON'T JUDGE ME.

ZAC, YOU KNOW I GOTN A SENSITIVE STOMACH, BABE.

I KNOW THAT...BUT I KNOWN YOU GONNA LIKE THIS.

YOU SURE?

[SCOFFS]N DO YOU TRUST ME?

HEY, EAT UP, EAT UP.

OK.

YOU LOOKIN' GOOD,N LOOKIN' ALL GLOWY.

OH, WAIT, WAIT.N IT'S 10:00.

ACTUALLY, I GOTTAN GO TO WORK.

I GOTTA GO TO WORK.

PUSH YOUR CLIENTS BACK.

BUT I GOTTA PAYN THESE BILLS, OK?

[SIGHS]

I DIDN'T SAY THATN TO MAKE YOU FEEL BAD.

I GET IT. GET.

- I LOVE YOU. OK?N - LOVE YOU, TOO.

MMM, MMM!

THE LIPS!

- BUT YOU KNOW WHAT?N - OH, MY GOD.

I DO GOTTA GO TO WORK.

- OK.N - YES.

AND...I CANNOT WAITN TO GET OFF

TO GET BACK WITH YOU.

I CAN'T WAITN TO SEE YOU EITHER.

- YOU CAN'T?N - I CAN'T WAIT--

WELL, THIS ISN MY LUCKY DAY.

OH, MY GOD.

I'M TAKING YOUN TO DINNER TONIGHT.

- OH, YEAH?N - YES.

OK. SOMEWHERE FANCY?

YOU KNOW IT,N LITTLE 2-FOR-1 BUFFET.

[KAREN CHUCKLES]

OK. I LOVE IT.

AND I LOVE YOU.

I'LL SEE YOU LATER.

SEE YOU LATER.

DON'T EAT THAT TOO FAST.N I WORKED HARD ON IT.

I'LL TRY.

OH, WHOA! WHOA!

- HI.N - HI.

IS KAREN HOME?

YEAH. SHE'S IN THE BACK.N ARE YOU OK?

YEAH, YEAH, I'M FINE.

I KNOW, YOU'REN SURPRISED TO SEE ME.

NO, I'M NOT.

OK. WELL, I PROMISE YOU,N I LOVE YOUR FRIEND,

AND I'M GONNA DO--N - YEAH. OK. THANKS.

I JUST NEED TO SEE KAREN.

- IN THE BACK.N - YEAH.

KAREN: HI. I WAS JUSTN CALLING YOU.

KAREN: HI. I WAS JUSTN CALLING YOU.

WHAT HAPPENED?

SHE READ ME FOR FILTH.

- DID SHE?N - YEAH!

OH, GOD. SO I GUESSN HE DIDN'T CONVINCE HER, HUH?

NO! I DON'T EVENN THINK HE TALKED TO HER!

GIRL, WHAT YOU GONNA DO?

I AM GONNA GO TO WORK AND WAITN FOR THE OTHER SHOE TO DROP.

OK, SO SHE'S GONNA--

SUE ME, MY FIRM,N AND GO TO THE BAR.

I'M SO SORRY, GIRL.N I'M SORRY.

AND ALL THIS TIME,N I WAS THINKING...

WAS IT WORTH IT?

OF COURSE NOT.

NO, IT'S NOT!

[CELL PHONE RING TONE]

IS THAT HIM CALLINGN YOU RIGHT NOW?

CALLING AGAIN.

GONNA TALK TO HIM?N [RINGING CONTINUES]

YEAH, UM...N WE'RE GONNA MEET UP FOR LUNCH,

AND I'M JUST GONNA TELL HIMN THE WHOLE DAMN THING.

OK, WELL, I'LL GO WITH YOU.

ANDI: NO!

ARE YOU SURE?

YOU HAVE CLIENTS,N SO YOU NEED TO GO TO WORK.

HOW YOU KNOW THAT?

ANDI: I WENT THERE FIRST,

AND WHEN THEY TOLD MEN THAT YOU WERE RUNNING LATE,

I KNEW ZAC WAS BACK.

KAREN: ALL RIGHT,N I KNOW.

I KNOW, I KNOW I'M STUPID.

NO, YOU'RE NOT.

THIS HIS LAST,N HIS LAST CHANCE,

THE LAST CHANCE, FOR REAL.

ANDI: RIGHT.N THE LAST CHANCE?

- YES.N - OK.

I GOTTA GO.N GO TO WORK.

OK, BUT WHERE YOUN GONNA GO?

I'M GONNA GO HOME,N AND THEN I'M GONNA CALL HIM,

AND TELL HIMN TO MEET ME FOR LUNCH.

BUT YOU SURE?

I'M SURE. BUT CAN YOUN JUST COME OVER TONIGHT?

I NEED MY SISTER CIRCLE.

GIRL, OF COURSE.

OK, I'M GONNA CALLN THE GIRLS.

DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.N I GOT YOU.

- THANK YOU.N - YOU LOOK CUTE.

- DO I?N - ALL RIGHT, GO.

- I FEEL CUTE...N - OK.

SINCE I'M GETTING FIRED.

GOOD LUCK!

I NEED IT.

[DOOR CLOSES]

EVERYBODY GOT DRAMA.

SHIT.

MAN: ? DON'T YOU WANT SOMEBODYN TO LOVE WHEN YOU'RE LONELY? ?

? DON'T YOU WANT SOMEBODYN TO LIGHTEN YOUR LOAD? ?

? DON'T YOU WANT SOMEBODYN TO THINK OF YOU ?

? WHEN YOU'RE AWAY? ?

? DON'T YOU WANT SOMEBODY,N SOMEBODY LIKE ME? ?

SABRINA: HEY, GIRL!

HEY! WHAT YOU DOING HERE?

I LIKE TO WATCHN THE PLANES TAKE OFF.

OH, GIRL.N DON'T GIVE ME THAT SHIT.

WHAT YOU DOING?

SO, WE NEVER TALKEDN ABOUT THE CALVIN THING.

DANNI: AH, NO, YEAH.

WHAT--COME ON, DANNI.

YOU'RE NOT GONNAN GIVE ME YOUR OPINION?

YOU DON'T THINKN THE WHOLE VIBRATOR THING

WAS A LITTLE...WEIRD?

WELL, YOU KNOW, THAT HAS NEVERN HAPPENED TO ME, SO...

IT'S UNCHARTED TERRITORY.

- REALLY?N - NO.

- DAMN.N - WHAT?

I MEAN, 'CAUSE, YOU KNOW,N YOU'RE THE FREAK OF THE GROUP,

AND IF YOU'VE NEVERN REALLY TRIED IT, THEN...

ALL RIGHT, HOW DID I GETN TO BE THE FREAK OF THE GROUP?

REMEMBER THAT GUY...

THAT YOU SLEPT WITH WITH NO LEGN AND A PLASTIC PENIS?

AH! YES.N I WAS CURIOUS.

YOU KNOW, HE'S STILLN TOURING WITH THE CIRCUS?

GOOD FOR HIM.

- OH, DANNI.N - WHAT?

WHAT AM I GONNA DO?N I REALLY LIKE HIM.

- LOOK, I HAVE AN IDEA.N - WHAT?

WHY DON'T YOU ASK KARENN TO TRY IT ON ZAC?

NO. WHAT--NO. HOW AM IN GONNA ASK HER THAT?

WELL, THIS MIGHT HELP YOU.

YOU KNOW, GUYS MIGHT BE INTON THAT THESE DAYS.

THE ONLY GUY THAT I KNOWN THAT'S INTO THAT,

HE'S NOT STRAIGHT.

SABRINA, JUST ASK HER.

NO. WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO,N JUST, "OH, HI, KAREN.

"YEAH, IS ZAC HOME?

DO YOU MIND PUTTINGN A VIBRATOR UP HIS ASS?"

ALL RIGHT, JUST ASKN TO DO THE FINGER TEST.

WHAT'S THAT?

THAT'S WHEN YOU PUT YOUR FINGERN UP HIS ASS,

AND YOU SEEN HOW MUCH HE PROTESTS.

I'VE DONE IT.

WELL, TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED.

OK, WELL, YOU HAVE TO SEEN HOW MUCH THEY PROTEST.

YOU KNOW, IF THE LADY PROTESTSN TOO MUCH,

THAT'S TOO SUSPECT.

- OK, YOU KNOW WHAT--N - OK.

BUT IF IT'S A LITTLE BIT,N IT'S OK.

ACTUALLY, NEVER MIND, GIRL.

I'M LOSING BRAIN CELLSN BY THE SECOND

WITH THISN IGNORANT CONVERSATION.

WELL, GIRL,N DON'T ASK ME THEN. SHIT.

FINE.

[CELL PHONE BUZZES]N OH. OK.

THIS IS KAREN NOW.

OH, SHE'S CALLING YOU?

- HA! GIRL, PLEASE.N - WHAT?

WHAT YOU WANT, BITCH?

DON'T TALK TO HER LIKE THAT.N HEY, KAREN!

OH, SABRINA'S GONNA BEN IN HER CAR IN ABOUT 10 MINUTES,

AND SHE HAS SOMETHINGN VERY IMPORTANT TO ASK YOU.

OH, NO. UM-UMM.N I'M GOING.

- YES, SHE DOES.N - BYE!

ALL RIGHT. HEY,N SO, WHAT YOU WANT?

I JUST WANTED TO SAYN THANK YOU AGAIN.

DANNI: HE MUST HAVE PUTN THAT BIG THING ALL OVER YOU.

CAN YOU STOP IT?

DANNI: HE DID, DIDN'T HE?N MM-HMM.

LOOK, I JUST...

I REALIZED THATN A LESSER WOMAN

WOULD HAVE TAKENN ADVANTAGE OF HIM.

KAREN: THANK YOU FORN HAVING MY BACK.

- GIRL, WHATEVER.N - STOP IT.

ALL RIGHT, FINE.

SO, ANYWAY, ANDI WANTSN TO SEE US TONIGHT.

SHE NEEDS HERN SISTER CIRCLE.

DANNI: Y'ALL HAVEN TOO MUCH DRAMA.

WHAT, AND YOU DON'T?

DANNI: ALL RIGHT,N I'LL BE THERE.

YEAH, THOUGHT SO.

YOU SEE ZAC AROUND THERE?

YEAH, HE'S AROUND HEREN SOMEWHERE.

KAREN: YOU KNOW HE GAVE MEN HIS CHECKS?

WHAT? WAIT, HE NEVERN GAVE ME ANY RENT MONEY.

CAN I GET, LIKE,N A PIECE OF IT?

GIRL, HE WASN'T EVENN THERE A WEEK.

DANNI: IT'S CALLED PRORATED.

OK, DANNI, STOP.

OH, LOOK,N I'M HAPPY YOU'RE HAPPY.

THANK YOU.N I LOVE YOU.

WELL, SHIT,N HE MUST HAVE DID YOU GOOD, HUH?

- OK, DANNI--N - WHAT?

I MEAN, I CAN SEE YOUN SMILING FROM HERE.

OK! LOOK I'MA SEE YOUN TONIGHT, OK?

- ALL RIGHT.N - BYE.

OH, WAIT, WAIT, YES.

CAN YOU MAKE SUREN YOU ANSWER SABRINA'S CALL?

IT'S REALLY IMPORTANT.

SABRINA: HEY, GIRL.

KAREN: HEY. WHAT WERE YOUN DOING AT THE AIRPORT?

UM...NOTHING,N JUST TALKING TO DANNI.

KAREN: ABOUT CALVIN?

NO, GIRL. I'M NOTN THINKING ABOUT HIM.

OK, WAIT. WHO ARE YOUN TALKING TO?

SO...HOW WAS YOUR NIGHT?

OH! DEFLECTING?N IT WAS GOOD.

I'M NOT DEFLECTING.N I'M JUST REALLY CURIOUS

ABOUT HOW YOUR NIGHT WAS.

KAREN: IT WAS GOOD.

SO, IS HE...

YES. HE'S BACK.

GOOD! GOOD, GOOD,N 'CAUSE I'M SO HAPPY

THAT YOU GUYS ARE TOGETHER.

THANK YOU, BUT WE GONNAN TAKE IT SLOW.

THAT'S GOOD, TOO.

- DID YOU TALK TO ANDI?N - I CALLED HER.

SHE'S NOT IN THE BEST PLACE,

SO WE ALL GONNA GO OVER THEREN AFTER WORK.

I ALREADY TALKED TO DANNI.

OH! GOOD. I'M GLADN YOU GUYS ARE MAKING UP.

KAREN: UH, STOP IT.

WHAT? OK.

KAREN: I'M STILL NOTN FULLY OVER IT, SO...

I KNOW, BUTN AT LEAST WE'RE ON THE PATH.

YES, WE ARE,N AND SPEAKING OF PATH,

WHAT DID YOUN WANT TO ASK ME?

HMM? I DIDN'T WANT TON ASK YOU ANYTHING.

I MEAN, THAT WAS DANNI.

KAREN: SABRINA,N WHAT IS IT?

SABRINA: DO YOU HAVE A VIBRATOR?

GIRL, I KNOW YOU ISN NOT ABOUT TO ASK ME

TO BORROW MY VIBRATOR.

SABRINA: NO, NO, NO.N WHO WOULD DO THAT?

DANNI.

HAS SHE?

WHAT YOU ASKIN' MEN ABOUT HERB FOR, HUH?

HERB?

YEAH, THAT'S WHAT I NAMED IT.N LONG STORY.

SO YOU THINK NOWN THAT ZAC IS HOME

THAT MAYBE YOU CAN TRY ITN ON HIM?

KAREN: WHOA. WHOA! WHAT?

IT'S THE FINGER TEST.N YOU KNOW, LIKE WHERE YOU...

KIND OF REACH AROUND AND SEEN IF HE LIKES

HIS BUTT BEING PLAYED WITH.

SABRINA, FIRST OF ALL,

I KNOW FOR A FACT THAT HEN HATES ME TOUCHING HIS BUTT.

SABRINA: REALLY?N KAREN: YES, GIRL.

EVERY TIME MY HANDS GO NEARN THAT AREA,

HE JUST...GRABS THEM AND PINSN THEM DOWN.

SABRINA: OK.

KAREN: YEAH, I'M GETTING KIND OFN HOT THINKING ABOUT IT.

OK, KAREN, THAT'S TOO MUCH.

BUT, UH, ANYWAYS, I KNOW YOU'REN ASKING ME 'CAUSE OF CALVIN.

I KNOW, BUT WHY DO IN WANT HIM TO BE SOMETHING ELSE?

DO YOU WANT HIM TO BEN SOMETHING ELSE

OR DO YOU JUST WANT HIMN TO NOT BE GAY?

HONESTLY, I DON'T THINKN HE'S GAY.

KAREN: SO IT SOUNDS LIKEN YOU LIKE HIM.

SABRINA: YEAH, I DO.

BUT I'M JUST NOT COMFORTABLEN WITH THE WHOLE PANTIES

AND THE VIBRATOR.

WELL, THEN STOP SEEING HIM.

SABRINA: BUT IT'S ALSO THE BESTN SEX I'VE EVER HAD.

OH, MY GOD, KAREN, IT'S LIKEN HE'S INSIDE OF MY BRAIN

OR SOMETHING.

IT JUST...EVERY TIMEN WE'RE TOGETHER,

IT FEELS LIKE A COLD SIP OFN WATER ON AN EMPTY STOMACH.

KAREN: WHAT YOU TALKING ABOUT,N GIRL?

SABRINA: HIS SEX, GIRL.N HIS SEX IS AMAZING.

IT'S SO GOOD.N IT'S ALL ABOUT ME.

WAS THE VIBRATOR ABOUT YOU?

NO, THAT WAS ALL ABOUT HIM.

KAREN: WELL, DID IT TURN YOU ON?N SABRINA: NO.

KAREN: OK, WELL, MAYBE YOU WASN JUST TOO IN YOUR HEAD.

MAYBE JUST, I DON'T KNOW,N TRY IT AGAIN.

MM-MMM. NO, KAREN. NO, NO.

I DON'T THINK I COULD DO THAT.N KAREN: OH, MY GOSH.

STOP BEING SUCH A PRUDE AND DON WHAT YOU GOT TO DO, OK?

OK. OH, I'M GLAD YOU'RE HAPPY.

LISTEN, WE ALL GONNA BEN HAPPY, OK?

WE WILL.N I'LL SEE YOU TONIGHT.

SABRINA: AND HE WANTS ME TO BUYN A BIGGER ONE.

KAREN: WHAT? BUY IT.N WHAT'S WRONG?

SABRINA: BYE.N KAREN: BYE.

SYLVIA: I'M SORRY,N WE CAN'T DO THAT.

DANNI: OK, WHAT IS THE PROBLEM,N SYLVIA?

SYLVIA.

SYLVIA: HIS MILES DON'T COVERN THE UPGRADE.

DANNI: OK, I GOT IT.N EXCUSE ME, SYLV.

THANKS, GIRL.N MAN: THANK YOU.

DANNI: ALL RIGHT, MR...

MAN: MR. HORACE.N DANNI: HORACE? OK.

MR. HORACE: YEAH.N DANNI: ALL RIGHT.

I HAVE UPGRADES HEREN FOR YOU AND YOUR WIFE.

MR. HORACE: SHE'S NOT MY WIFE.N THAT'S MY SISTER.

DANNI: OH, OK.N WELL, THANK YOU SO MUCH.

MR. HORACE: THANK YOU.N DANNI: YOU'RE WELCOME.

ZAC: AH AH AH AH AH!

MY BAD.

DANNI: BOY, I HAVE GAS ONN THIS KETO DIET.

ZAC: I'M SORRY. I'M SORRY.

DANNI: WHAT ARE YOU SO HAPPYN ABOUT?

ZAC: WELL, IF YOU MUST KNOW...

DANNI: Y'ALL HAD A GOOD NIGHT?

ZAC: YES, WE DID.N DANNI: GOOD.

GOOD, GOOD, GOOD.

ZAC: WHAT?

DANNI: NOTHING.

ZAC: ARE YOU SAD?

DANNI: NO, I--I JUST...UGH.

I JUST MISS YOU A LITTLE.

ZAC: AW! LOOK AT YOUN MISSING ME!

DANNI: I'VE TOLD YOU ABOUTN INVADING MY PERSONAL SPACE.

ZAC: MY BAD. MY BAD.N DANNI: MM-HMM.

ZAC: I'M SORRY. I'M SORRY.N SORRY.

DANNI: ALL RIGHT.N SO SHE'S HAPPY?

ZAC: YES, SHE IS.

DANNI: WELL, THAT'S A MIRACLEN IN AND OF ITSELF.

CONGRATULATIONS.

ZAC: STOP IT.N SHE'S NOT THAT BAD.

DANNI: JUST KEEP DOING THE RIGHTN THING, ALL RIGHT?

ZAC: I WILL. I WILL.N DANNI: ALL RIGHT.

GOOD, GOOD, GOOD.

ZAC: SPEAKING OF RIGHT THINGS,

I GOT A--I GOT A DATE NIGHTN PLANNED TONIGHT.

DANNI: THAT'S NICE.N ZAC: YEAH. WE'RE GONNA GO TO

A NICE DINNER,N KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?

CAN I BORROW SOME MONEY?

DANNI: BOY, YOU KNOW DAMN WELL.

ZAC: NOT YOUR REGULAR MONEY.N YOUR WEED--

I KNOW YOU GOT THE WEED STASH.

DANNI: HOW DO YOU KNOW ABOUTN MY STASH?

ZAC: COME ON, WE LIVEDN TOGETHER.

DANNI: MAN, YOU JUST GOT PAID,N LIKE--

ZAC: I KNOW, I KNOW.N COME ON, MAN.

I PROMISE I'LL GET IT BACK TON YOU NEXT WEEK.

DANNI: ZAC, YOU KNOW I NEEDN MY MONEY.

ZAC: I KNOW. I DO.N I KNOW. I KNOW. I KNOW.

COME ON, JUST ME AND YOU.N COME ON.

I'M TRYING TO DO THE RIGHTN THING.

DANNI: ALL RIGHT, I'M GONNA LETN YOU HOLD LIKE 200.

ZAC: OH, YES, 200.

BAH BAH! YES!

YOU GOT TO LET IT GO.

IT'S ALL THERE, RIGHT?N I DON'T HAVE TO COUNT IT?

DANNI: MM-HMM.

ZAC: THANKS.NTHIS IS PERFECT, THOUGH. THANKS.

DANNI: MM-HMM. OK.

ZAC: I PROMISE I'LL GET ITN BACK TO YOU.

DANNI: OK.N ZAC: PROMISE.

I LOVE YOU, DANNI.

PERSONAL SPACE.

MR. HORACE: HEY.N DANNI: HI.

IS THERE A PROBLEM?

MR. HORACE: NO, THERE'SN NO PROBLEM.

MY SISTER PUT ME UP TO THIS.

DANNI: UP TO WHAT, SIR?

MR. HORACE: WAS THAT YOURN BOYFRIEND?

DANNI: UH, NO, NO, NO, NO.

MR. HORACE: OH. OK.

DANNI: WHY?

IS THERE AN ISSUE?N I CAN HANDLE IT.

MR. HORACE: NO, I DIDN'T--N I REALLY DIDN'T WANT TO...

I WAS REALLY KIND OF HOPINGN I COULD GET YOUR NUMBER.

DANNI: SIR, I DON'T KNOW THISN DESK'S PHONE NUMBER.

IF THERE'S A PROBLEM,N I CAN HANDLE IT.

MR. HORACE: NO, I WANTEDN TO CALL YOU.

DANNI: WHY? I'M...

WOMAN: SORRY.N HE'S A BIT SHY.

MR. HORACE: HEY, I TOLD YOU--N WOMAN: I'M HIS BIG SISTER.

MR. HORACE: AND THIS ISN EMBARRASSING.

WOMAN: HE IS SHY.N HE NEVER DATES.

BUT HE CANNOT STOP STARINGN AT YOU,

SO I TOLD HIM TO COME OVERN AND SAY HI.

I'M ALICIA.

DANNI: HI, ALICIA.N I'M DANNI.

ALICIA: HI.

YEAH, HE'S BEEN STARING AT YOUN SINCE WE GOT HERE.

DANNI: THAT'S SCARY.

ALICIA: OH, NO, NOT--NOTN IN THAT KIND OF WAY.

DANNI: I GET IT.

ALICIA: YOU GOT THIS.

DANNI: TALK...

MR. HORACE: I'M KIND OF NEWN TO THIS...

SORT OF THING.

DANNI: WHY?

MR. HORACE:N WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

DANNI: UH, HOW OLD ARE YOU?

MR. HORACE: I'M 34.

DANNI: AND YOU'RE NEW TO ASKINGN GIRLS OUT?

MR. HORACE: IT'S NOT...IT'SN A LONG STORY.

DANNI: YEAH, I'VE GOT TIME.N YOU'RE GONNA NEED TO...

MR. HORACE: UNFORTUNATELY,N I DON'T.

THEY JUST CALLED FORN MY FLIGHT.

DANNI: KNOW WHAT, WHY DON'T YOUN GIVE ME YOUR NUMBER

AND I'LL CALL YOU?

THERE YOU GO.

MR. HORACE: REALLY?N YOU'LL CALL ME?

DANNI: YEAH.

MR. HORACE: WELL, I JUSTN MOVED HERE,

AND IT WOULD BE GREAT TO HAVENSOMEONE LIKE YOU SHOW ME AROUND.

DANNI: WELL, YOU MIGHTN GET LUCKY.

MR. HORACE: THAT'D BE NICE, TOO.

DANNI: OK.N WELL, GO OVER THERE

SO YOU CAN WATCH MEN WALK AWAY.

MR. HORACE: [CHUCKLES]N YOU'RE FUNNY.

DANNI: YEAH, OK. BYE.

[CELL PHONE RINGS]

[RING]

ZAC: NOT TODAY. NOT TODAY.

HELENA: SO I'M NOT WORTH IT?

ZAC: OHH. HI.

HELENA: YOU JUST IGNORING ME?

ZAC: NO, I WAS--I GOT WORKN TO DO, SO.

HELENA: WHAT'S GOING ON?

ZAC: ACTUALLY, IT'S GOOD THAT IN RAN INTO YOU

BECAUSE I JUST GOT BACK WITHN MY GIRLFRIEND, SO--

HELENA: WELL, I NEED TO TALKN TO YOU.

ZAC: YOU DIDN'T HEAR WHATN I SAID.

I SAID I JUST GOT BACKN WITH MY GIRLFRIEND.

HELENA, YOU'RE A GREAT GIRL.

I'M SURE YOU'LL FINDN A GREAT GUY.

HELENA: YEAH, TO RAISEN YOUR CHILD?

ZAC: SAY--WHAT--SAY THAT AGAIN.

HELENA: I'M PREGNANT.

ZAC: UHH.

HELENA: WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?

ZAC: WHAT--WHAT DO YOU MEAN?N HELENA: DON'T YOU DARE.

ZAC: DON'T I--DON'T I--ME?

HELENA: WHAT WERE YOU GONNA SAY?NZAC: I WASN'T GONNA SAY NOTHING.

I'M AT WORK.N HELENA: I'M SCARED.

ZAC: OH! OH! ALL RIGHT,N YOU BUGGING AT WORK.

DANNI: WHAT'S--N ZAC: DANNI, WHAT'S UP?

YOU SEE--N DANNI: WHAT'S GOING ON?

HELENA: WHO IS THIS?N DANNI: WHO ARE YOU?

HELENA: ZAC?

ZAC: THIS IS THE YOUNG LADY--

DANNI: OH!N THIS IS "YOU AIN'T WORTH IT."

HELENA: OH, SO YOU KNOW THAT,N TOO, HUH?

DANNI: WHY Y'ALL HUGGING?

HELENA: WHO IS THIS?

SHE'S A LOUD MOUTHN AND SHE'S RUDE.

ZAC: HELENA, YOU MIGHT WANTN TO CHILL OUT.

HELENA: LOOK, I NEEDED TON TALK TO HIM.

ZAC: AND I TOLD HER IMMEDIATELYN THAT I WAS DATING KAREN.

I TOLD HER THAT.

DANNI: WHAT'S GOING ON?N HELENA: IF YOU MUST KNOW,

I'M PREGNANT.

ZAC: WHOA, HELENA.N DANNI: SHI-I-I-I-T.

ZAC: HELENA, CAN--CAN YOU JUSTN GO HOME?

I PROMISE YOU IF YOU GO HOME,N I'LL CALL YOU.

HELENA: WHAT?N ZAC: I'LL CALL YOU IMMEDIATELY

AS SOON AS I GET HOME,N I PROMISE YOU.

HELENA: CALL ME THE MINUTEN YOU GET OFF.

ZAC: COPY. I'M--I GOT YOU.N I GOT YOU.

DANNI: NEGRO.

ZAC: DAMN.N DANNI: [LAUGHS]

ZAC: DAMN.N DANNI: YOU CAN'T CATCH A BREAK.

ZAC: I KNOW, I KNOW, I KNOW.

DANNI: OH!N ZAC: I KNOW.

DANNI: WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO?

ZAC: I DON'T KNOW.N MY HEART.

DANNI: YOU GOT TO TELL KAREN.N ZAC: I KNOW.

DANNI: WELL, YOU KNOW, LET MEN GO AHEAD

AND GIVE YOU THIS KEY,N 'CAUSE YOU GONNA NEED IT.

ZAC: I JUST GOT OUTN THE DOGHOUSE, I SWEAR.

DANNI: YEAH. YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.N ZAC: I SWEAR.

DANNI: ALSO, GIVE ME MY $200N BACK,

'CAUSE YOU'RE NOT GONNAN NEED THAT.

ZAC: NO, I GOTTA KEEP THAT.N DANNI: NO, NO, NO.

COME ON, GIVE ME MY MONEY.N ZAC: I DON'T GOT IT.

DANNI: GIVE IT TO ME LATER.N ZAC: IT'S GONE.

DANNI: ALL RIGHT.

ZAC: DAMN!

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

ANDI: WHO IS IT?

LESLIE: IT'S LESLIE.

ANDI: [SIGHS]N WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

LESLIE: CAN I COME IN?

ANDI: I DON'T WANT YOUN IN MY HOUSE.

LESLIE: PLEASE.

I--I'M JUST TRYING TO HELP.

ANDI: WHY?

LESLIE: BECAUSE I DON'T THINKN THIS IS YOUR FAULT.

IT'S HIS.

AND THAT SON OF A BITCHN SHOULD PAY.

PLEASE, JUST LET ME COME IN.

LET'S FIGURE THIS OUT.

ANDI: COME ON.

LESLIE: THIS PLACE,N REALLY NICE.

ANDI: THANK YOU.

I'LL BE SELLING IT SOON.

LESLIE: OH, I'M SORRY ABOUTN THAT.

ANDI: WHAT'S SHE SAYING?

LESLIE: SHE'S ACTUALLYN DOWNSTAIRS IN THE CAR.N SHE WANTS TO TALK.

ANDI: LOOK, I AM NOT INN THE MOOD FOR THIS, OK?

I AM DONE WITH ALL OF THIS.

LESLIE: SHE'S VERY EMOTIONAL.

YOU HAVE TO UNDERSTAND THAT.

SHE GAVE THIS MAN HER LIFE.

ANDI: I GET IT.

LESLIE: SHE JUST WANTS TO COMEN UP AND SEE YOUR PLACE.

ANDI: WHY?

LESLIE: I THINK SHE'S JUSTN TRYING TO PUT IT ALL TOGETHER.

I WANT YOU TWO TO GETN THIS SON OF A BITCH.

FOR EVERYTHING HE'S GOT.

AND YOU ALL ARE STRONGERN TOGETHER.

AND YOU, YOU'RE SOLID.

YOU'LL TAKE HIM OUT.

I KNOW HOW YOU WORK.

ANDI: LOOK, I AM DONEN WITH THIS.

LESLIE: YOU ARE NOT A QUITTER.

ANDI: YOU DO NOT KNOW ME.

LESLIE: I KNOW A LOTN ABOUT YOU.

SPELLMAN, STANFORD,

WORKING STUDY HALL.

I KNOW YOU.

ANDI: WELL, IF YOU KNEW ME,

YOU'D KNOW THAT I WAS TELLINGN YOU TO KISS MY ASS RIGHT NOW.

LESLIE: MMM.

NOTHING WOULD GIVE MEN MORE PLEASURE.

ANDI: ARE YOU FLIRTING WITH ME?

LESLIE: I'M TRYING TO HELP YOU.

ANDI: ARE YOU A LESBIAN?

LESLIE: YES.

ANDI: WELL, I'M NOT.

AND THIS IS EXTREMELYN UNPROFESSIONAL.

LESLIE: I DON'T WORK FOR YOU.

LET HER COME UP.

I THINK YOU COULD REALLY HELPN HER TO UNDERSTAND EVERYTHING.

ANDI: GET OUT.

LESLIE: YOU'RE A BEAUTIFUL,N GOOD GIRL.

YOU DON'T DESERVE THIS.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

ANDI: IS THAT HER?

LESLIE: I TOLD HER TO WAITN IN THE CAR.

ANDI: YOU KNOW, I AM REALLYN SICK OF THIS SHIT.

GARY: I COULDN'T WAIT TO SEE YOUN AT LUNCH.

SO...

HI.

I'M GARY.

ANDI: OH, THIS IS TINA.

TINA WAS JUST TELLING MEN THERE WAS A PACKAGE FOR ME

DOWNSTAIRS IN THE CAR.

COULD YOU GO AND GETN THAT PACKAGE, PLEASE?

LESLIE: YEAH.

GARY: HOW ARE YOU?

ANDI: I'M PISSED.

GARY: WHY? WHAT'S GOING ON?

ANDI: COME, LET ME SHOW YOU.

GARY: WHAT IS IT? WAIT.

ANDI: YOU ARE A ... LIAR!

GARY: LOOK, THIS IS NOTN WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE.

ANDI: NO, I AM...

I AM SICK OF THIS SHITNYOU'RE PUTTING ME THROUGH, GARY.

GARY: HOLD ON.N LET ME EXPLAIN.

ANDI: WHAT CAN YOU EXPLAIN?N THIS ISN'T YOU?

HMM?

THAT'S NOT YOU?

IS THAT NOT YOU?

GARY: ANDI.

THIS IS NOT WHAT IT LOOKS--N ANDI: DON'T SAY SHIT TO ME.

GARY: YOU HAVE TO LET MEN EXPLAIN. ALL RIGHT?

JASMINE: PLEASE DO.N I WOULD LOVE TO HEAR IT.

OH, NO, NO, NO.

PLEASE DON'T GET QUIET NOW.

GARY: OK, UM--

ANDI: YEAH, NOW YOU WANTN TO TALK?

LET ME TELL YOU HOW THIS SHIT ISN GONNA GO.

YOU'RE GONNA GIVE HERN THE CARS, THE HOUSE--

GARY: ANDI.N ANDI: $50,000 A MONTH,

EVERYTHING IN YOUR BANK ACCOUNT,

AND YOU WILL LEAVE WITHN THE CLOTHES ON YOUR BACK.

DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?N GARY: ANDI.

OK.

LESLIE: OK?

GARY: YEAH, AS LONG AS I CANN HAVE YOU.

JASMINE: [SCOFFS]N WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?

GARY: JASMINE, I DON'T LOVE YOUN ANYMORE.

I'VE TOLD YOU THAT OVER AND OVERN AGAIN.

JASMINE: YOU NEVER REALLY GAVEN US A CHANCE, THOUGH.

GARY: WE WENT TO COUNSELING FORN 3 YEARS, JASMINE,

AND IT DIDN'T WORK.

I LOVE YOU AS THE MOTHERN OF MY KIDS.

WHY CAN'T YOU GET THAT?

LOOK, I DON'T WANT TO BE WITHN YOU ANYMORE.

I LOVE HER.

JASMINE: HOW DARE YOU SAY THATN TO ME.

LESLIE: YOU LOVE HER?

AND THIS WOMAN, TOO?

GARY: WHAT ARE YOU TALKINGN ABOUT?

LESLIE: HER, AT THE AIRPORT.

GARY: THAT'S GRACIE.N JASMINE, YOU KNOW GRACIE.

LESLIE: WHY ARE YOU HUGGING HER?

GARY: WHAT THE HELL HAVE YOUN BEEN TELLING HER? HMM?

YOU'RE SOME DAMN PRIVATE EYE IFN YOU DON'T KNOW

WHO HER DAMN SISTER IS.

ANDI, LISTEN, WE WENTN TO NEW MEXICO,

ONLY FOR ME TO FIND OUTN THAT YOU LIED.

YOUR MOTHER WAS FINE.

HER WHOLE FAMILY IS TWISTEDN AND ... UP.

LESLIE: WHAT ABOUT THE WHOLE--N GARY: SHUT THE ... UP.

HOW MUCH MONEY ARE YOU PAYINGN HER TO DRUM UP THIS BULLSHIT?

HOW MUCH OF MY MONEY?

LESLIE: IT'S HER MONEY.

JASMINE: THANK YOU.

GARY: IT'S HER MONEY?N LESLIE: MM-HMM.

GARY: YOU WANT IT?

HERE.

TAKE IT! YOU CAN HAVE ALLN THIS SHIT.

I DON'T CARE ABOUT NONEN OF THIS.

ALL RIGHT?N YOU CAN HAVE IT ALL.

ANDI, I'LL GIVE ALL THIS SHITN UP, ALL RIGHT?

I'LL GIVE ALL THIS SHIT UP,N BABY,

IF I CAN HAVE YOU.

PLEASE, DON'T BELIEVEN ANY OF THAT SHIT, ANDI.

I LOVE YOU.

JASMINE: YOU WOULD WALK OUTN ON OUR KIDS?

GARY: I LOVE MY KIDS.

JASMINE: AND YOU KNOW WHAT,N THEY HATE FOR THIS SHIT.

GARY: BECAUSE ALL THE SHITN YOU'VE BEEN TELLING THEM.

ANDI, I LOVE YOU.

I LOVE YOU.

BUT THIS SHIT RIGHT HERE,

YOU COULD HAVE JUST TOLD ME.

ANDI: SORRY.

GARY: MOVE FROM THE DOOR,N JASMINE.

JASMINE: YOU'RE JUST GONNA WALKN OUT LIKE THAT?

GARY: JASMINE, MOVE FROMN THE DOOR.

JASMINE: NO.

GARY: MOVE!

YOU'RE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?

JASMINE: LOOKS LIKE IT.

GARY: YOU MAY WANT TO MOVE HER.

LESLIE: JASMINE, YOU SHOULD MOVEN AWAY FROM THE DOOR.

NOW.

JASMINE: THAT SON OF A BITCH.

NO. NO, HE'S GONNA BE SORRY.

LESLIE: JASMINE, YOU GOT HIMN RIGHT WHERE YOU WANT HIM.

HE'S GONNA GIVE YOU HALF.

JASMINE: NO, NO, NO.

I DON'T WANT HALF.

I WANT IT ALL.

AND I WANT THIS BITCH DISBARRED.

YOU ... THE WRONG HUSBAND.

KAREN: WHAT'S UP?N PAM: GIRL.

KAREN: WHAT? I WAS AT LUNCH.

PAM: I'VE BEEN TRYING TON CALL YOU.

YOU HAVE A CLIENT THAT'SN ABOUT TO LEAVE.

KAREN: I'M HERE, AIN'T I?

PAM: YOU KNOW YOU NEEDN THIS MONEY.

KAREN: OK. STOP IT.N I'M HERE.

PAM: OK. SHE'S WAITING FOR YOU.

KAREN: OK, BUT WHERE SHE AT?

PAM: IN YOUR CHAIR.

FAWN: HI.

KAREN: SHIT.

FAWN: I--N KAREN: NO, MA'AM. NO.

FAWN: I NEED TO TALK TO YOU.

KAREN: LISTEN TO ME.

I'M NOT TALKING TO YOU.

FAWN: CAN YOU DO MY HAIR?

KAREN: WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?

FAWN: HE'S NOT COMINGN BACK TO ME.

KAREN: OK, WELL, Y'ALL GO AHEADN AND PRAY ABOUT THAT.

FAWN: I'M TRYING TO.

KAREN: LOOK, I'M SORRY,N BUT I DON'T TALK TO--

FAWN: PLEASE, STOP SEEING HIM.

KAREN: I'M NOT SEEINGN YOUR HUSBAND. OK?

I DON'T DO PREACHERS.N NOW GO.

FAWN: BUT HE LIKES YOU.

KAREN: ARE YOU ON SOMETHING?

FAWN: I'M NOT GONNA MAKE ITN WITHOUT HIM.

KAREN: OK, WELL, Y'ALL NEEDN TO DEAL WITH THAT.

THAT AIN'T ME.

FAWN: I HOPE GOD WILLN FORGIVE ME.

KAREN: I'M SURE HE WILL, OK?

OK?

FAWN: I'M SORRY.

KAREN: OK. YOU NEED TO GO.

GET YOUR BAG AND GO. BYE.

FAWN: BYE.

[GUNSHOT, SCREAMING]

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