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1
00:00:50,000 --> 00:00:52,084
Well, I wake up in the mornin'
2
00:00:52,167 --> 00:00:54,959
Each and everyday
3
00:00:55,042 --> 00:00:59,791
And I sit down at the table
and I hear my daddy say
4
00:00:59,874 --> 00:01:02,333
Life is nothin'
It's a nothin'
5
00:01:02,416 --> 00:01:04,874
Life is nothin'
but a slap in the face
6
00:01:04,958 --> 00:01:07,333
Life is nothin'
It's a nothin'
7
00:01:07,416 --> 00:01:10,082
Life is nothin'
but a fat rat race
8
00:01:10,123 --> 00:01:14,582
Oh, yeah, yeah, oh, yeah, yeah
9
00:01:14,623 --> 00:01:17,123
Oh, yeah, yeah
10
00:01:17,207 --> 00:01:20,164
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah
11
00:01:20,206 --> 00:01:22,206
Every night I have a dream
12
00:01:22,331 --> 00:01:25,164
That you're takin' off your dress
13
00:01:25,206 --> 00:01:29,872
The only thing you're wearin'
is a button on your chest
14
00:01:29,956 --> 00:01:32,371
And the button
it says nothin'
15
00:01:32,413 --> 00:01:34,996
Life is nothin'
but a slap in the face
16
00:01:35,080 --> 00:01:37,371
Life is nothin'
It's a nothin'
17
00:01:37,455 --> 00:01:39,913
Life is nothin'
but a fat rat race
18
00:01:39,996 --> 00:01:44,745
What is life
19
00:01:44,787 --> 00:01:47,370
What is life
20
00:01:47,454 --> 00:01:49,870
A rat race, a rat race
21
00:01:49,954 --> 00:01:54,703
What is life
22
00:01:54,828 --> 00:01:57,411
What is life
23
00:01:57,494 --> 00:01:59,994
A rat race, a rat race
24
00:02:00,119 --> 00:02:02,786
A rat race, a rat-rat race
25
00:02:02,869 --> 00:02:07,118
Oh, yeah, yeah, oh, yeah, yeah
26
00:02:07,202 --> 00:02:10,202
Oh, yeah, yeah
27
00:02:10,285 --> 00:02:13,410
It's a jungle out there
and I know I don't belong
28
00:02:15,202 --> 00:02:18,576
So all night long
I just sing my stupid song
29
00:02:20,451 --> 00:02:22,617
Get a body out
in the rat, in the race
30
00:02:22,701 --> 00:02:25,159
Get a body out
in the rat, in the race
31
00:02:25,242 --> 00:02:27,784
Get a body out in the rat
32
00:02:31,991 --> 00:02:35,408
To the sound of the storm comin'
strictly from the B-A-H-A M-E-N
33
00:02:47,824 --> 00:02:50,282
Life ain't nothin'
but a big rat race
34
00:02:52,781 --> 00:02:54,989
Life ain't nothin'
but a big rat race
35
00:02:55,073 --> 00:02:57,281
Life is nothin'
It's a nothin'
36
00:02:57,364 --> 00:02:59,948
Life is nothin'
but a slap in the face
37
00:02:59,989 --> 00:03:02,281
Life is nothin'
It's a nothin'
38
00:03:02,406 --> 00:03:04,863
Life is nothin'
but a fat rat race
39
00:03:16,029 --> 00:03:20,029
Hi. I'm checking out. 14322.
40
00:03:21,779 --> 00:03:23,904
- Mr. Schaffer?
- That's me.
41
00:03:25,196 --> 00:03:28,195
- I have your bill right here.
- Great. Thank you.
42
00:03:28,278 --> 00:03:32,778
- How was your luck last night?
- I don't-- I didn't gamble.
43
00:03:32,861 --> 00:03:36,820
I was here for a friend's bachelor
party. I guess he's the gambler.
44
00:03:39,319 --> 00:03:42,902
What's this $110?
45
00:03:43,027 --> 00:03:47,402
- Those are your in-room movies.
- I didn't watch any movies.
46
00:03:47,485 --> 00:03:51,401
Okay, let's see. Afro Whores.
47
00:03:51,443 --> 00:03:53,609
Afro Whores?
48
00:03:53,693 --> 00:03:56,984
You watched it--
let's see-- 11 times.
49
00:03:59,151 --> 00:04:03,942
Afro Whores, 2:30. Afro Whores,
4:00. Afro Whores, 5:30.
50
00:04:03,983 --> 00:04:07,442
It says in the morning you watched
The Grinch for ten minutes...
51
00:04:07,483 --> 00:04:09,483
and then switched back
over to Afro Whores.
52
00:04:09,567 --> 00:04:12,525
I swear I didn't watch it.
I was at a bachelor party.
53
00:04:12,608 --> 00:04:14,816
There were 35 people there.
You can ask any of them.
54
00:04:14,899 --> 00:04:17,732
- Take that off my record.
- This is not a record, sir.
55
00:04:17,816 --> 00:04:22,274
- It's a delete.
- How many times did you watch it?
56
00:04:22,357 --> 00:04:25,274
None! I didn't watch it.
57
00:04:25,357 --> 00:04:29,356
Are you sure? "Sizzling,
three-way, backdoor action...
58
00:04:29,398 --> 00:04:31,773
featuring
two sexy soul sisters--"
59
00:04:31,856 --> 00:04:34,648
I don't need to know what
it's about. I did not watch it.
60
00:04:36,231 --> 00:04:39,439
I didn't.
61
00:04:39,522 --> 00:04:44,064
Drove 500, and Chipper Jones
struck out in that key situation.
62
00:04:44,147 --> 00:04:48,105
He's 0 for 5,
lost three straight games.
63
00:04:48,189 --> 00:04:52,313
This month he has
a one-game winning streak.
64
00:04:55,063 --> 00:05:00,021
Miss? Miss, can I have
another one of these, please?
65
00:05:00,063 --> 00:05:04,020
Oh, sorry.
I thought you were a woman.
66
00:05:04,103 --> 00:05:06,312
I am a woman.
67
00:05:08,187 --> 00:05:10,520
You know, you look
kind of familiar.
68
00:05:10,603 --> 00:05:13,102
Yeah, you do.
69
00:05:14,186 --> 00:05:16,186
You know, I get that
all the time.
70
00:05:16,311 --> 00:05:18,686
I guess I just have
one of those faces.
71
00:05:18,769 --> 00:05:22,352
And now for our loser of the week.
This week it's a no-brainer.
72
00:05:22,477 --> 00:05:24,935
Referee Owen Templeton made
the biggest bonehead call...
73
00:05:25,018 --> 00:05:26,976
in the history of football.
74
00:05:27,018 --> 00:05:31,393
It happened last Sunday at Dallas
with the score tied at 10.
75
00:05:31,476 --> 00:05:33,685
They were headed towards overtime.
Everything was cool.
76
00:05:33,768 --> 00:05:35,850
They were about to toss the coin
to see who would kick off.
77
00:05:35,934 --> 00:05:39,517
- Dallas, call it in the air.
- Tails.
78
00:05:39,600 --> 00:05:42,184
- That's heads.
- That was tails.
79
00:05:42,267 --> 00:05:44,392
- No. It's--
- That was tails.
80
00:05:44,434 --> 00:05:47,766
No-- Wait! Hang on!
It's-- Now, what did I say?
81
00:05:47,849 --> 00:05:49,808
- Tails!
- It's tails.
82
00:05:49,891 --> 00:05:52,849
- It's heads.
- What are you doin'?
83
00:05:54,933 --> 00:05:57,724
You saw--
84
00:05:57,808 --> 00:06:00,557
Okay, little brother,
just be cool.
85
00:06:00,640 --> 00:06:02,557
Just be cool.
86
00:06:16,181 --> 00:06:19,556
Okay, this is it.
See that glass?
87
00:06:19,639 --> 00:06:23,180
Walk across the lobby, slip on
the glass, let gravity do the rest.
88
00:06:24,180 --> 00:06:26,138
I might "eak" my neck.
89
00:06:26,180 --> 00:06:30,221
True. You could break your neck.
It's a risk I'm willing to take.
90
00:06:30,346 --> 00:06:33,263
Why don't "oo" do it?
91
00:06:33,346 --> 00:06:36,345
Because, Einstein, one of us
needs to be the victim...
92
00:06:36,429 --> 00:06:39,262
and one of us needs
to be the witness.
93
00:06:39,345 --> 00:06:42,720
I'm your own brother.
I don't know what you're sayin'.
94
00:06:42,762 --> 00:06:44,887
How's your tongue?
Let me see it.
95
00:06:48,386 --> 00:06:49,719
How's it look?
96
00:06:51,428 --> 00:06:55,553
It looks good.
It looks much better.
97
00:06:56,553 --> 00:06:57,968
Okay, here we go.
98
00:06:58,052 --> 00:07:02,427
We're on Candid Camera,
so make it look good.
99
00:07:13,676 --> 00:07:16,134
Excuse me. I'm a lawyer.
Gloria Allred.
100
00:07:16,217 --> 00:07:18,926
- What the hell happened here?
- She slipped on that glass.
101
00:07:19,009 --> 00:07:23,341
Those arrogant jerks. They're gonna
pay for this through the nose.
102
00:07:23,425 --> 00:07:26,091
How's your neck?
I've never seen such negligence.
103
00:07:26,175 --> 00:07:28,133
This is going to be huge.
104
00:07:28,175 --> 00:07:30,091
She's an angel.
105
00:07:30,175 --> 00:07:33,632
What a cute little face.
Would you look at those cheeks?
106
00:07:33,715 --> 00:07:36,465
- She's absolutely beautiful.
- She has your eyes.
107
00:07:36,549 --> 00:07:38,715
It's the only picture
I have of her.
108
00:07:38,799 --> 00:07:40,715
It's all worn out 'cause
I'm always looking at it.
109
00:07:40,799 --> 00:07:44,631
- You haven't seen her for 27 years?
- Not till today.
110
00:07:44,714 --> 00:07:47,756
-She just called you out of the blue?
-No, I found her.
111
00:07:47,839 --> 00:07:52,548
I hired a detective. I spent all
my money. Now we're going to meet.
112
00:07:52,589 --> 00:07:55,588
- You think she'll recognize me?
- Of course she will, won't she?
113
00:07:55,672 --> 00:07:57,588
- Yeah.
- She will.
114
00:08:18,586 --> 00:08:20,545
Vera Baker.
115
00:08:21,586 --> 00:08:23,545
My baby--
116
00:08:27,253 --> 00:08:30,460
Excuse me.
I have to take this.
117
00:08:31,544 --> 00:08:33,044
This is Merrill.
118
00:08:35,377 --> 00:08:37,419
No! That's unacceptable!
119
00:08:37,544 --> 00:08:41,335
If we don't ship by Tuesday, we won't
be in the stores by Mother's Day.
120
00:08:41,419 --> 00:08:44,334
That's unacceptable, so don't
give me any excuses, and do it!
121
00:08:44,418 --> 00:08:47,209
Do it!
Just shut up and get it done!
122
00:08:49,876 --> 00:08:53,333
Oh, honey,
you broke your phone.
123
00:08:53,375 --> 00:08:57,500
It's okay. I carry extras.
124
00:08:59,875 --> 00:09:03,083
- Why don't we sit down?
- Yes.
125
00:09:11,166 --> 00:09:14,499
You probably have
a thousand questions for me.
126
00:09:15,916 --> 00:09:19,540
I was young. I didn't tell
anybody I was pregnant.
127
00:09:19,623 --> 00:09:23,248
And I felt I could handle it
at the time.
128
00:09:23,331 --> 00:09:26,123
Hi. Do you think
you gals could...
129
00:09:26,206 --> 00:09:28,205
pull yourselves together
and bring us a drink?
130
00:09:28,289 --> 00:09:30,330
- Yeah.
- Sure.
131
00:09:30,414 --> 00:09:32,372
Sure. What would you like?
132
00:09:32,455 --> 00:09:34,705
Mimosa.
133
00:09:34,789 --> 00:09:38,747
They both want a mimosa.
134
00:09:38,789 --> 00:09:42,496
So, you sell cosmetics?
135
00:09:42,621 --> 00:09:46,246
Yeah. I have my own company.
136
00:09:46,329 --> 00:09:48,204
And we're going public.
137
00:09:49,288 --> 00:09:52,370
And you're not married?
138
00:09:52,453 --> 00:09:55,870
- Lucianne said you wouldn't.
- Who?
139
00:09:55,953 --> 00:09:59,162
She's my psychic. She's the one
who told me to come look for you.
140
00:09:59,245 --> 00:10:01,203
She said you needed me.
141
00:10:01,287 --> 00:10:04,952
- She did?
- She said you were lonely...
142
00:10:05,036 --> 00:10:09,619
and you were worried about money
and you had trouble sleeping.
143
00:10:12,536 --> 00:10:16,785
Who the hell isn't?
144
00:10:22,993 --> 00:10:24,993
See? I told you
we didn't need a bellman.
145
00:10:25,035 --> 00:10:28,742
Yeah, well, congratulations, Randy.
You avoided another tip.
146
00:10:28,825 --> 00:10:30,867
Those nickels and dimes
add up, my dear.
147
00:10:30,950 --> 00:10:32,992
- I call this bed!
- Hey, no fair.
148
00:10:33,075 --> 00:10:35,367
- You got to pick last night.
- Go to hell, Jason.
149
00:10:35,409 --> 00:10:37,367
- Make me.
- Hey, language, please.
150
00:10:37,409 --> 00:10:39,574
- Bev, his and her bathrobes.
- Yes.
151
00:10:39,658 --> 00:10:41,616
- Look at that view.
- Yeah.
152
00:10:41,699 --> 00:10:46,574
- Nice view.
- Okay, honey. Why don't you unpack?
153
00:10:46,658 --> 00:10:49,324
- Okay.
- I'm just gonna go look around.
154
00:10:49,449 --> 00:10:53,157
Wait, wait, wait.
You're not going to the casino?
155
00:10:53,282 --> 00:10:56,657
No, no, of course not.
156
00:10:56,740 --> 00:11:00,532
I just drove from the Grand Canyon.
Gotta stretch my legs.
157
00:11:00,615 --> 00:11:04,156
You swore to me on your mother's eyes
we are here to see David Copperfield.
158
00:11:04,197 --> 00:11:07,864
- No gambling.
- I'm just lookin' around.
159
00:11:08,947 --> 00:11:12,364
In fact, I'm gonna go
to the gift shop.
160
00:11:12,406 --> 00:11:14,488
I can jump farther than you.
161
00:11:14,571 --> 00:11:17,030
- I can jump farther.
- No way. Watch.
162
00:11:19,655 --> 00:11:23,238
That's gotta hurt.
Honey, kids need ya.
163
00:11:23,363 --> 00:11:25,695
- Hey, Nick. Nicky!
- Hey.
164
00:11:25,779 --> 00:11:28,070
- You're not leaving?
- I'm in court on Tuesday.
165
00:11:28,154 --> 00:11:31,570
- No, you're not.
- I work for people who are.
166
00:11:31,654 --> 00:11:34,445
You pussy. You can't leave.
It's still goin' on up there.
167
00:11:34,487 --> 00:11:36,861
Richie, I have to.
I've had two hours sleep.
168
00:11:36,944 --> 00:11:39,861
Steve Cunningham just got another
stripper. You got to see this one.
169
00:11:39,903 --> 00:11:41,861
- She's incredible.
- I got to get back.
170
00:11:41,903 --> 00:11:45,111
No, you don't, Nick.
I know you. You're scared.
171
00:11:45,194 --> 00:11:48,152
You're scared it's gonna
get out of control up there.
172
00:11:48,235 --> 00:11:50,610
Someday you'll be up for attorney
general and it'll haunt you.
173
00:11:50,693 --> 00:11:53,818
- I'm not having this conversation.
- You didn't even gamble.
174
00:11:53,902 --> 00:11:56,152
Not one quarter.
That's no way to live.
175
00:11:56,277 --> 00:11:59,277
In fact, that ain't even livin'.
It's hiding.
176
00:11:59,402 --> 00:12:02,026
- I'm not hiding from anything.
- Oh, no?
177
00:12:02,151 --> 00:12:04,609
Okay, then prove it.
178
00:12:04,692 --> 00:12:07,484
Do something, anything.
Break one rule.
179
00:12:07,526 --> 00:12:12,483
Here. Look. Nick, a paper.
Come on. Take it.
180
00:12:12,525 --> 00:12:16,191
Take it. Come on, Nick.
Take it.
181
00:12:20,400 --> 00:12:22,566
I have a plane to catch, okay?
182
00:12:22,650 --> 00:12:25,232
I'll see you in Chicago.
183
00:12:26,899 --> 00:12:29,524
Oh, look, I won! I won!
184
00:12:29,607 --> 00:12:31,649
Look at the money comin' down.
185
00:12:31,774 --> 00:12:34,939
Look. Look, look, look.
What's-- What's--
186
00:12:34,981 --> 00:12:39,106
"You're a winner.
See guest services."
187
00:12:40,773 --> 00:12:43,481
What? A dollar?
188
00:12:47,730 --> 00:12:49,688
Come on, baby. Come on!
189
00:13:06,271 --> 00:13:07,229
Come on.
190
00:13:08,646 --> 00:13:09,936
We won!
191
00:13:12,145 --> 00:13:17,353
- We won one.
- What is this? This isn't money.
192
00:13:35,684 --> 00:13:37,893
That's the prize?
A free buffet?
193
00:13:37,976 --> 00:13:40,059
Actually, it's not a buffet.
194
00:13:40,143 --> 00:13:43,768
It's a special reception at 10:00
in the penthouse conference room.
195
00:13:43,809 --> 00:13:46,433
"Where a spectacular...
196
00:13:46,475 --> 00:13:49,642
once-in-a-lifetime
opportunity awaits you."
197
00:13:49,725 --> 00:13:51,683
That's all I know.
198
00:13:51,725 --> 00:13:54,517
- What do you think?
- I think it's some kind of scam.
199
00:13:54,558 --> 00:13:57,141
Good! A scam! We'll do it.
200
00:13:57,182 --> 00:14:00,182
- I'll need to see some I.D.
- Okay.
201
00:14:13,348 --> 00:14:15,431
There. I gambled.
202
00:14:22,014 --> 00:14:23,389
Family vacation? These are
the moments you got to savor, right?
203
00:14:23,389 --> 00:14:25,930
Family vacation? These are
the moments you got to savor, right?
204
00:14:26,014 --> 00:14:28,639
- They'll never come around again.
- Exactly.
205
00:14:28,680 --> 00:14:31,304
Excuse me.
Do you know what's going on?
206
00:14:31,388 --> 00:14:33,304
Free grub.
That's what's going on.
207
00:14:33,388 --> 00:14:35,846
This room is fabulous.
208
00:14:35,888 --> 00:14:39,221
- Does anybody know why we're here?
- Beats me.
209
00:14:40,263 --> 00:14:42,263
Oh, my God.
210
00:14:42,304 --> 00:14:44,345
You should sue somebody.
211
00:14:44,428 --> 00:14:45,928
I did it myself.
212
00:14:46,053 --> 00:14:49,470
- What?
- He did it himself from a kit.
213
00:14:49,553 --> 00:14:54,802
I knew I recognized you.
You're the referee-- the bonehead.
214
00:14:54,886 --> 00:14:58,469
That's just the media
blowing it out of proportion.
215
00:14:58,552 --> 00:15:02,844
My hairdresser's husband
lost $800 because of you.
216
00:15:02,886 --> 00:15:05,427
- Everybody thinks we flip quarters.
- Can I have a picture with you?
217
00:15:05,511 --> 00:15:07,551
It's really
a commemorative coin. Look.
218
00:15:07,635 --> 00:15:09,551
- Smile.
- Please. You--
219
00:15:11,635 --> 00:15:16,135
Am I too late?
Look. I won a coin.
220
00:15:16,260 --> 00:15:21,467
A gold coin.
Isn't this wonderful?
221
00:15:21,550 --> 00:15:23,759
Look at this room.
222
00:15:23,800 --> 00:15:28,967
What a beautiful room.
Have you seen this room?
223
00:15:29,049 --> 00:15:32,049
Yes! We're in it.
224
00:15:34,841 --> 00:15:37,299
I am Enrico Pollini.
225
00:15:37,383 --> 00:15:41,673
Now, I know what you are thinking.
Enrico is a girl's name.
226
00:15:41,757 --> 00:15:44,548
- No, I wasn't.
- No pun intended.
227
00:15:44,590 --> 00:15:49,340
- What pun is that?
- Food. Look at all this food.
228
00:15:49,423 --> 00:15:55,256
What a beautiful party.
Little cockdoggies.
229
00:15:55,339 --> 00:15:57,006
They're called
cocktail wienies.
230
00:15:57,089 --> 00:16:01,964
Wienies. I'm so sorry.
My English is not so good.
231
00:16:02,006 --> 00:16:04,796
But I'm learning.
232
00:16:04,838 --> 00:16:07,338
That's it. Vera.
We're outta here.
233
00:16:07,380 --> 00:16:09,713
-I want to say good-bye. Bye, y'all.
-Excuse me.
234
00:16:09,796 --> 00:16:14,671
Thank you all for coming. I'm
Donald Sinclair. I own this hotel.
235
00:16:14,713 --> 00:16:16,879
We don't have much time.
236
00:16:16,962 --> 00:16:22,629
There's a meteor the size of North
Carolina heading straight for Earth.
237
00:16:22,754 --> 00:16:28,003
The impact is going to kill every
thing and everyone on this planet.
238
00:16:28,086 --> 00:16:32,919
I built a bunker in the basement
strong enough to withstand the blast.
239
00:16:32,961 --> 00:16:36,044
There's room for eight people. I have
chosen the seven of you, plus me.
240
00:16:36,128 --> 00:16:41,835
When this is over, we will repopulate
and re-civilize the planet.
241
00:16:50,834 --> 00:16:55,126
I couldn't resist! I'm sorry.
242
00:16:58,667 --> 00:17:01,292
A joke. He made a joke.
243
00:17:01,417 --> 00:17:05,791
Do sit down, please. Merrill, you
and your mother can sit over here.
244
00:17:05,833 --> 00:17:09,500
- How do you know she's my mother?
- Alas, there are no secrets anymore.
245
00:17:09,583 --> 00:17:13,832
Actually, that's not quite true.
There is one secret, one last secret.
246
00:17:13,915 --> 00:17:18,415
It involves all of you.
247
00:17:19,874 --> 00:17:23,332
- I'm getting goose pimples.
- Hey--
248
00:17:24,374 --> 00:17:26,206
Ah, Mr. Schaffer!
249
00:17:26,248 --> 00:17:29,956
Curiosity got the better
of you, eh? Come and sit down.
250
00:17:30,081 --> 00:17:33,956
- I'm fine. Thanks.
- You haven't missed anything.
251
00:17:34,039 --> 00:17:35,998
We were just
cutting to the chase.
252
00:17:36,081 --> 00:17:38,830
Cutting to the chase.
253
00:17:42,247 --> 00:17:44,330
Well, you'll laugh later.
254
00:17:44,413 --> 00:17:48,163
Now, as you know, the odds against
winning a jackpot downstairs...
255
00:17:48,247 --> 00:17:51,537
or hitting the state lottery
are astronomical-- millions to one.
256
00:17:51,621 --> 00:17:55,329
A serious person doesn't
even bother, but today...
257
00:17:55,371 --> 00:17:58,787
you have the chance
of playing a game...
258
00:17:58,871 --> 00:18:01,745
where the odds of winning
are one in six.
259
00:18:01,828 --> 00:18:04,661
One in six.
260
00:18:05,911 --> 00:18:07,286
It's one throw...
261
00:18:09,786 --> 00:18:11,786
of the dice.
262
00:18:15,952 --> 00:18:18,285
This is my attorney,
Mr. Grisham...
263
00:18:18,327 --> 00:18:21,702
who tragically was born
without a personality.
264
00:18:21,785 --> 00:18:26,201
Mr. Grisham insists anyone who wishes
to participate in our experiment...
265
00:18:26,243 --> 00:18:31,201
sign this waiver, absolving the casino
from responsibility or damages...
266
00:18:31,243 --> 00:18:35,034
personal liability,
blah, blah, blah.
267
00:18:35,159 --> 00:18:38,575
So, who do you like, Claude?
268
00:18:38,617 --> 00:18:41,617
The young woman in the black coat.
She looks desperate.
269
00:18:41,700 --> 00:18:44,117
Yes, but she has
her mother with her.
270
00:18:44,200 --> 00:18:47,907
- That could slow her down, hmm?
- Perhaps.
271
00:18:47,949 --> 00:18:51,407
Now, 563 miles from here...
272
00:18:51,491 --> 00:18:54,574
is a little town called
Silver City, New Mexico.
273
00:18:54,657 --> 00:18:56,907
- Gold rush.
- Quite right, Nick.
274
00:18:56,991 --> 00:18:59,323
Yes, they struck gold there
in 1860.
275
00:18:59,406 --> 00:19:02,156
It was the second largest
gold rush in American history.
276
00:19:02,281 --> 00:19:06,823
Very good, Nick. I think
Nick should be our captain.
277
00:19:09,740 --> 00:19:13,405
In downtown Silver City,
there's a train station.
278
00:19:13,489 --> 00:19:16,197
As you go in the front door,
there's some lockers on the right.
279
00:19:16,280 --> 00:19:18,697
Mr. Grisham,
do you have the keys?
280
00:19:19,780 --> 00:19:21,739
Six identical keys.
281
00:19:22,654 --> 00:19:24,946
They all open the same locker.
282
00:19:24,988 --> 00:19:27,863
That's locker 001.
283
00:19:27,946 --> 00:19:31,654
Inside the locker is a red duffel
bag. Inside the red duffel bag...
284
00:19:31,696 --> 00:19:33,987
is $2 million.
285
00:19:34,070 --> 00:19:38,862
In cash, fifties and hundreds,
makes a pile about so big.
286
00:19:38,945 --> 00:19:41,987
First one there keeps it all.
287
00:19:43,653 --> 00:19:48,361
I put transmitting devices in
your key rings to keep track of you.
288
00:19:48,444 --> 00:19:52,486
And that's it.
289
00:19:52,611 --> 00:19:53,527
Go.
290
00:19:56,236 --> 00:19:58,568
You just can't pick people
at random.
291
00:19:58,651 --> 00:20:00,985
I can do anything I like, Owen.
I'm eccentric.
292
00:20:02,651 --> 00:20:03,568
Go!
293
00:20:03,651 --> 00:20:06,360
Wait, wait.
So, it's like a race?
294
00:20:07,526 --> 00:20:09,775
A race. It's a race.
295
00:20:09,859 --> 00:20:11,942
I hope I win.
296
00:20:12,025 --> 00:20:14,317
What are the rules?
297
00:20:14,400 --> 00:20:18,109
There's only one rule.
Are you ready? Here it is.
298
00:20:18,900 --> 00:20:22,233
There are no rules.
299
00:20:22,316 --> 00:20:24,274
Go.
300
00:20:26,066 --> 00:20:27,524
Go!
301
00:20:27,608 --> 00:20:31,940
So now when you say, "Go,"
you mean just go?
302
00:20:32,023 --> 00:20:35,482
Begin, commence, start moving.
303
00:20:35,565 --> 00:20:39,523
Theoretically, you have been
racing for about 40 seconds.
304
00:20:39,565 --> 00:20:42,107
So far, Mr. Schaffer is winning...
305
00:20:42,190 --> 00:20:45,106
because he's nearest to the door.
306
00:20:53,022 --> 00:20:54,731
You're crazy!
307
00:20:54,856 --> 00:20:58,855
A race! A race!
You have to pace yourself.
308
00:20:58,938 --> 00:21:02,896
Carbohydrate is important.
Pasta is good.
309
00:21:02,980 --> 00:21:05,605
Breathing is important.
310
00:21:07,062 --> 00:21:10,520
Scusi. One--
311
00:21:11,395 --> 00:21:14,270
It's some sort of joke.
It has to be.
312
00:21:14,354 --> 00:21:17,687
What kind of jackass
just gives away $2 million?
313
00:21:17,729 --> 00:21:20,269
Maybe it's a publicity stunt.
314
00:21:20,353 --> 00:21:23,644
What kind of publicity?
He swore us all to secrecy.
315
00:21:23,728 --> 00:21:28,519
-Maybe it's a secret publicity stunt.
-A secret publicity stunt?
316
00:21:28,603 --> 00:21:30,060
Yes!
317
00:21:30,102 --> 00:21:32,143
I don't know what his angle is,
but there's always an angle.
318
00:21:32,268 --> 00:21:35,310
Donald Sinclair-- People like him
make millions of dollars...
319
00:21:35,393 --> 00:21:38,102
playing people
like us for chumps.
320
00:21:38,185 --> 00:21:40,393
- I'm nobody's chump.
- So you don't believe--
321
00:21:40,477 --> 00:21:44,309
11:30, nonstop to Chicago.
I'm gonna be on it.
322
00:21:45,017 --> 00:21:47,226
You know what? He's right.
323
00:21:47,309 --> 00:21:49,809
I'm not cuttin' short
my first family vacation...
324
00:21:49,851 --> 00:21:52,392
in three years to go on
some half-assed wild goose chase.
325
00:21:52,476 --> 00:21:56,183
Okay, so,
you're not goin' for it?
326
00:21:58,266 --> 00:21:59,933
I don't think so.
327
00:22:00,058 --> 00:22:02,641
- Not me, no.
- No. Great.
328
00:22:02,766 --> 00:22:05,182
- I guess that's that, huh?
- Right.
329
00:22:05,265 --> 00:22:07,932
It was nice meetin' y'all.
I'm gonna take the stairs.
330
00:22:08,015 --> 00:22:10,974
My room's just two floors down,
so nice meetin' ya.
331
00:22:11,057 --> 00:22:13,265
Hey, have a nice vacation.
332
00:22:20,723 --> 00:22:22,764
You know, it's probably stuck.
333
00:22:23,889 --> 00:22:26,889
I think I'm gonna
take the stairs too.
334
00:22:35,180 --> 00:22:36,388
Crap.
335
00:22:39,513 --> 00:22:41,887
- Go, go, go, go!
- Come on, Vera!
336
00:22:46,637 --> 00:22:49,221
Watch out!
337
00:22:50,471 --> 00:22:52,636
Comin' through!
338
00:22:57,386 --> 00:22:59,095
Hold the door, please.
339
00:22:59,178 --> 00:23:01,928
Take your time. No rush.
340
00:23:02,011 --> 00:23:04,010
- Get up!
- Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!
341
00:23:04,052 --> 00:23:08,719
If we're all gonna go for it,
why don't we go for it together?
342
00:23:08,844 --> 00:23:11,844
You know, split the money 50-50.
343
00:23:11,927 --> 00:23:15,759
- Fifty-fifty?
- You know what I mean. Whatever.
344
00:23:15,801 --> 00:23:17,759
Yes, yes, that's a good plan.
345
00:23:17,801 --> 00:23:20,926
It's a race. It's a race.
346
00:23:20,968 --> 00:23:24,093
I'm winning. I'm winning.
347
00:23:27,342 --> 00:23:29,133
And they're off!
348
00:23:30,342 --> 00:23:35,383
No one-- No one is offering you
action like this.
349
00:23:35,467 --> 00:23:38,632
A horse race with animals
that can think and plan...
350
00:23:38,716 --> 00:23:43,549
and lie and cheat
and play dirty.
351
00:23:43,632 --> 00:23:46,924
It's the gambling experience
of a lifetime.
352
00:23:46,966 --> 00:23:51,256
It's my way of saying
I understand men like you.
353
00:23:51,340 --> 00:23:53,173
I know what you want.
I know what you need.
354
00:23:53,256 --> 00:23:58,131
This casino-- my casino--
is where you belong.
355
00:24:00,423 --> 00:24:02,839
- I got it!
- Excuse me!
356
00:24:02,922 --> 00:24:05,297
- To the airport.
- You got it.
357
00:24:05,339 --> 00:24:08,005
We're out the door.
I don't see you. Where are you?
358
00:24:08,047 --> 00:24:12,422
- I forgot to tip the maid.
- Forget the maid. There he is!
359
00:24:12,547 --> 00:24:14,921
- Come on! Let's go!
- Okay, okay.
360
00:24:16,004 --> 00:24:20,254
Bev, this is a real job!
I swear!
361
00:24:21,671 --> 00:24:23,004
What is it?
362
00:24:25,170 --> 00:24:27,212
The job? What's the job?
363
00:24:29,378 --> 00:24:31,795
Ink for fountain pens.
364
00:24:34,212 --> 00:24:37,169
- And they're in New Mexico?
- Silver City, New Mexico.
365
00:24:37,252 --> 00:24:41,002
I love New Mexico.
Honey, we'll go with you.
366
00:24:41,044 --> 00:24:43,794
- No!
- Why not?
367
00:24:44,711 --> 00:24:48,793
Because we've already paid for the
room. Now look who's wasting money.
368
00:24:49,918 --> 00:24:51,876
This was your idea to stop here.
369
00:24:51,918 --> 00:24:54,918
I don't care about David Copperfield.
We're on vacation. We'll go with you.
370
00:24:54,960 --> 00:24:58,460
- But you don't understand--
- We will go with you!
371
00:25:01,875 --> 00:25:02,917
- Fine.
- Yes!
372
00:25:02,959 --> 00:25:05,917
Fine. Fine. Here. Call the bellman.
Have him bring the van around.
373
00:25:06,000 --> 00:25:08,084
- You happy? You happy?
- Okay.
374
00:25:08,167 --> 00:25:12,624
Scusi. Scusi.
I'm in a race. Scusi.
375
00:25:12,708 --> 00:25:15,416
Scusi. It's a race.
376
00:25:29,623 --> 00:25:33,165
- What is he doing?
- I think he's sleeping.
377
00:25:33,248 --> 00:25:35,206
- Sleeping?
- He must be narcoleptic.
378
00:25:35,289 --> 00:25:37,206
It's a rare sleeping disorder.
379
00:25:37,289 --> 00:25:40,622
- But I bet on him!
- So did I. Two million dollars.
380
00:25:40,706 --> 00:25:43,247
I'm sorry, gentlemen.
All the bets are locked in.
381
00:25:43,331 --> 00:25:45,289
Sleeping! Sleeping!
382
00:25:53,788 --> 00:25:55,830
- Look out!
- Don't tell me how to drive!
383
00:25:55,955 --> 00:25:57,538
It's only yellow.
It's only yellow. Run it!
384
00:25:59,620 --> 00:26:03,287
- Where's my video game?
- Seat belts, everyone.
385
00:26:03,370 --> 00:26:07,787
- Honey, what is the rush?
- It's the opportunity of a lifetime.
386
00:26:07,829 --> 00:26:10,619
You're not just a travel agent,
Roger. You're an angel.
387
00:26:10,661 --> 00:26:13,286
There's one charter plane
available in Las Vegas.
388
00:26:13,328 --> 00:26:15,328
We just bagged it.
389
00:26:15,369 --> 00:26:17,328
- Back to pass.
- Get rid of it.
390
00:26:17,369 --> 00:26:20,869
- Looks to his left.
- Get rid of it. Throw the ball!
391
00:26:20,952 --> 00:26:23,452
That's why you're not
gonna get drafted!
392
00:26:23,535 --> 00:26:26,535
You'll be lucky to play
arena football in Barcelona!
393
00:26:26,660 --> 00:26:29,493
- You like football?
- Sure.
394
00:26:29,577 --> 00:26:33,534
Did you happen to catch
that Dallas game last week?
395
00:26:33,659 --> 00:26:38,742
It was an obscenity.
It was a crime against football.
396
00:26:38,784 --> 00:26:41,534
I lost 20 grand on that game!
And they would have won!
397
00:26:41,617 --> 00:26:45,075
Now I gotta work two shifts
because of that idiot!
398
00:26:45,158 --> 00:26:49,283
Stevie Wonder could have done
a better job calling that game.
399
00:26:51,491 --> 00:26:53,450
Where the hell's the airport?
400
00:26:55,408 --> 00:26:58,990
One flip of the coin and the franchise
goes straight down the crapper.
401
00:26:59,115 --> 00:27:01,199
- That'll be 10.50, buddy.
- Keep the change.
402
00:27:02,365 --> 00:27:05,865
Thanks a lot.
You have a nice flight. Yeah!
403
00:27:05,990 --> 00:27:08,114
You know who that was?
404
00:27:08,198 --> 00:27:12,239
That was the ref. The guy
from the game? The coin toss!
405
00:27:12,281 --> 00:27:15,239
Oh, my God!
You're right! That was him!
406
00:27:15,281 --> 00:27:17,573
I had him in the cab,
and I let him go!
407
00:27:17,698 --> 00:27:20,363
- Where are we going?
- We gotta go. Come on. Just go.
408
00:27:20,447 --> 00:27:23,655
- Go, go, go, go, go.
- Chumps.
409
00:27:49,028 --> 00:27:51,195
Excuse me. Hi.
410
00:27:51,945 --> 00:27:55,360
- I'm not a creep or anything.
- I don't have any quarters.
411
00:27:57,694 --> 00:28:00,985
I never do this, but I'm
reading the same book you are.
412
00:28:01,027 --> 00:28:03,152
Look. See? Lindbergh.
413
00:28:03,235 --> 00:28:05,194
It's fantastic, isn't it?
414
00:28:05,235 --> 00:28:09,068
- What part are you on?
- He just had a sex change.
415
00:28:09,151 --> 00:28:11,234
Who did? Lindbergh?
416
00:28:11,318 --> 00:28:13,734
- Sex change?
- Yeah.
417
00:28:17,900 --> 00:28:19,150
That's funny.
418
00:28:19,275 --> 00:28:21,067
- I thought so.
- That's funny.
419
00:28:21,108 --> 00:28:23,067
I wouldn't be too proud
of yourself though.
420
00:28:23,108 --> 00:28:25,067
I'm the most gullible guy
in Chicago.
421
00:28:28,608 --> 00:28:30,149
Can I buy you a drink?
422
00:28:31,149 --> 00:28:32,732
I can't. I'm flying.
423
00:28:32,816 --> 00:28:37,857
- So, it'll relax you.
- I mean, I'm flying. I'm a pilot.
424
00:28:41,273 --> 00:28:44,106
Pilot? Are there
a lot of female pilots?
425
00:28:45,190 --> 00:28:46,773
There's at least one.
426
00:28:49,981 --> 00:28:53,397
When I walk away, I'm gonna think
of something great to say to that.
427
00:28:53,439 --> 00:28:56,064
Good. Mail it to me.
428
00:29:01,272 --> 00:29:03,522
Flight 115 to
Albuquerque, New Mexico.
429
00:29:03,605 --> 00:29:06,604
- Gate 17. You better hurry.
- Four tickets to Albuquerque.
430
00:29:06,688 --> 00:29:09,479
-Near the front of the plane. Please.
-All right.
431
00:29:09,563 --> 00:29:11,521
Come on!
432
00:29:12,396 --> 00:29:15,521
This is so exciting. I've never
been on a private plane before.
433
00:29:15,603 --> 00:29:17,645
This is bigger than my condo.
434
00:29:17,728 --> 00:29:20,395
- Gentlemen, what's our ETA?
- One hour and ten minutes.
435
00:29:21,187 --> 00:29:23,687
If you can do it in less than
an hour, I'll buy you both dinner.
436
00:29:23,770 --> 00:29:25,395
You're on--
437
00:29:25,520 --> 00:29:28,519
- Watch it. Move. Excuse me. Move.
- Move! Move! Move!
438
00:29:28,602 --> 00:29:30,561
- Who was next?
- I was!
439
00:29:30,602 --> 00:29:31,894
- I was!
- I was!
440
00:29:31,977 --> 00:29:34,686
- What? You were not next!
- Are you callin' me a liar?
441
00:29:34,769 --> 00:29:38,477
Yeah, as a matter of fact, I am.
We've been in line over 20 minutes.
442
00:29:38,519 --> 00:29:41,893
- Is that the correct time?
- Hey! Whoa!
443
00:29:41,976 --> 00:29:44,143
Yes, it is.
444
00:29:45,185 --> 00:29:47,435
- Who's next?
- They were, right there.
445
00:29:47,518 --> 00:29:50,268
Two tickets to Albuquerque.
446
00:29:50,351 --> 00:29:54,725
I'm sorry. We're completely booked.
There's nothing.
447
00:29:54,767 --> 00:29:57,559
There's a 4:30,
but you have to switch in Dallas.
448
00:30:02,266 --> 00:30:07,099
What do you mean that's it? I'm
not givin' up and neither are you.
449
00:30:07,141 --> 00:30:10,849
And neither am I!
I'll tell you something, brother.
450
00:30:10,933 --> 00:30:14,848
If we're not flyin' outta here,
no one is flyin' outta here.
451
00:31:14,802 --> 00:31:16,218
That can't be good.
452
00:31:23,593 --> 00:31:26,176
Duane!
453
00:31:38,300 --> 00:31:39,758
No!
454
00:31:48,215 --> 00:31:50,757
Blaine! Blaine!
455
00:31:53,799 --> 00:31:57,465
Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit!
456
00:32:03,839 --> 00:32:05,464
Shit!
457
00:32:16,338 --> 00:32:19,713
I can't!
458
00:32:19,797 --> 00:32:23,921
What are you doin'?
I don't know where to go!
459
00:32:23,962 --> 00:32:25,921
- Move!
- Trying to kill me?
460
00:32:25,962 --> 00:32:30,254
Duane, stop the car!
Stop the car!
461
00:32:41,336 --> 00:32:45,335
Whoa, girl! Jesus!
462
00:32:58,793 --> 00:33:02,168
Freeze everything, every flight.
Get me Central Operations.
463
00:33:04,459 --> 00:33:06,376
Attention all passengers.
464
00:33:06,459 --> 00:33:08,917
Due to a technical problem
with our radar tracking system...
465
00:33:09,000 --> 00:33:11,458
all flights are postponed
until further notice.
466
00:33:11,542 --> 00:33:14,708
We apologize for
any inconvenience.
467
00:33:16,333 --> 00:33:17,208
We gotta go.
468
00:33:17,333 --> 00:33:18,583
- Hurry up!
- The bags?
469
00:33:18,708 --> 00:33:20,624
Forget the bags! Let's go!
470
00:33:20,707 --> 00:33:22,999
Comin' through!
471
00:33:24,082 --> 00:33:27,291
- This is your license?
- Yes, it is.
472
00:33:28,374 --> 00:33:30,291
- Where was it issued?
- In Guam.
473
00:33:34,248 --> 00:33:36,873
Just head east,
and I'm in a hurry.
474
00:33:37,748 --> 00:33:42,165
Hello again. East it is.
475
00:33:43,705 --> 00:33:46,747
We have a midsized Caprice.
476
00:33:46,830 --> 00:33:49,414
- What color is it?
- We don't care about color.
477
00:33:49,539 --> 00:33:52,122
Just give us whatever car
is parked closest to the door.
478
00:33:52,247 --> 00:33:54,705
Ask about insurance.
479
00:33:54,830 --> 00:33:58,121
Would you be interested
in purchasing liability insurance?
480
00:33:58,204 --> 00:34:00,788
- How much is it?
- It doesn't matter. We'll take it.
481
00:34:00,871 --> 00:34:02,871
Just hurry.
482
00:34:06,121 --> 00:34:09,245
Hit enter. Now shift.
483
00:34:10,328 --> 00:34:12,662
Shift key. Right there. Yeah.
484
00:34:16,412 --> 00:34:17,870
Hey, watch it!
485
00:34:17,912 --> 00:34:21,119
Bus! White people!
486
00:34:24,036 --> 00:34:24,911
ldiot!
487
00:34:26,036 --> 00:34:28,119
Okay, I've got one.
488
00:34:29,244 --> 00:34:31,535
- What?
- A great comeback.
489
00:34:33,785 --> 00:34:35,868
I said, "Are there
a lot of female pilots?"
490
00:34:35,951 --> 00:34:37,910
And you said,
"There's at least one."
491
00:34:37,993 --> 00:34:41,451
I should have said,
"Two if you count Lindbergh."
492
00:34:42,534 --> 00:34:44,534
'Cause you said
he had a sex change.
493
00:34:45,200 --> 00:34:47,159
It's a work in progress.
494
00:34:47,200 --> 00:34:49,534
- I'm Nick Schaffer.
- Tracy Faucet.
495
00:34:49,617 --> 00:34:51,617
So I guess you can have
that drink now.
496
00:34:51,700 --> 00:34:55,158
I told you I'm flying. I'm leaving
for Roswell in five minutes.
497
00:34:55,199 --> 00:34:57,491
Didn't you hear?
Everybody's grounded.
498
00:34:57,574 --> 00:35:01,699
That's for fixed wing. I'm in a
chopper. We use a different system.
499
00:35:07,948 --> 00:35:10,407
Roswell, New Mexico?
500
00:35:11,948 --> 00:35:15,198
- You're flying to New Mexico?
- We've been flying down all week.
501
00:35:15,282 --> 00:35:17,239
They're repainting
the whole fleet.
502
00:35:21,239 --> 00:35:25,531
You can fly.
Nobody else can fly.
503
00:35:25,614 --> 00:35:28,696
But you can fly.
504
00:35:28,780 --> 00:35:31,780
- And you're flying to New Mexico.
- Yeah.
505
00:35:31,863 --> 00:35:34,946
- But nobody else can fly.
- Yeah.
506
00:35:35,030 --> 00:35:38,280
Do you need a ride?
507
00:35:41,779 --> 00:35:44,279
Come on!
508
00:35:49,695 --> 00:35:52,486
- Coconut.
- Coconut! Who had coconut?
509
00:35:52,569 --> 00:35:55,361
I did.
510
00:35:55,444 --> 00:35:57,153
Phil.
511
00:35:58,736 --> 00:36:00,819
That's the kind of car
that I'm gettin'.
512
00:36:00,903 --> 00:36:03,693
- Yeah? Don't count on it.
- Why not?
513
00:36:03,735 --> 00:36:06,735
Because the Volkswagen Beetle
was used by the Nazis.
514
00:36:06,818 --> 00:36:10,068
I would not be comfortable
driving around in one.
515
00:36:10,152 --> 00:36:14,610
- So, don't drive it. I will.
- Dad, I have to go.
516
00:36:14,652 --> 00:36:18,151
- No, you don't.
- Yes, I do. I really do.
517
00:36:18,276 --> 00:36:22,526
- We just stopped!
- The bathroom was too gross.
518
00:36:22,609 --> 00:36:26,691
- Well, can't you hold it in?
- I can't! It's an emergency.
519
00:36:26,775 --> 00:36:28,691
Honey, there's a restaurant.
520
00:36:28,775 --> 00:36:31,733
That's three miles down and
then back. We lose ten minutes.
521
00:36:31,816 --> 00:36:34,025
So what? Your daughter
has to go to the bathroom.
522
00:36:34,108 --> 00:36:36,525
- Please stop, Dad.
- All right.
523
00:36:36,566 --> 00:36:39,190
Jason, look back there
for an empty jar.
524
00:36:39,274 --> 00:36:41,357
A jar? Girls don't pee in jars.
525
00:36:41,399 --> 00:36:43,357
All right, sorry.
526
00:36:43,399 --> 00:36:47,065
Jason, we're gonna
need a jar and a funnel.
527
00:36:47,149 --> 00:36:49,731
Dad, I don't have to pee.
It's number two!
528
00:36:49,856 --> 00:36:54,273
- Sorry, I can't stop.
- Dad, I'm prairie-dogging it.
529
00:36:54,356 --> 00:36:55,773
What does that mean?
530
00:36:55,814 --> 00:36:59,523
Like when a prairie dog sticks
his head in and out of the ground.
531
00:37:04,188 --> 00:37:06,688
I do not want
to picture that.
532
00:37:07,772 --> 00:37:10,397
Yes, sir, Silver City it is.
533
00:37:10,480 --> 00:37:13,771
- Buddy.
- It's about 700 miles.
534
00:37:13,854 --> 00:37:18,229
- You don't mind, do ya?
- Oh, no. No, no, I don't mind.
535
00:37:18,271 --> 00:37:21,687
A job's just
another job for me.
536
00:37:21,771 --> 00:37:24,728
About how much you think
that's gonna cost?
537
00:37:24,853 --> 00:37:29,561
I wouldn't worry about it.
Tell you what.
538
00:37:29,645 --> 00:37:33,811
You just pay me
whatever you think is fair...
539
00:37:33,895 --> 00:37:38,727
'cause I trust your judgment.
540
00:37:38,810 --> 00:37:41,810
I hate you. I hate you!
541
00:37:41,852 --> 00:37:46,144
Nobody look. I'm gonna turn on
the radio, so nobody can hear you.
542
00:37:46,227 --> 00:37:48,143
I'll never forgive you.
I hate you.
543
00:37:48,226 --> 00:37:50,809
Nobody can hear you, honey.
Push away.
544
00:37:59,434 --> 00:38:02,517
I'm gonna drop you off there. There's
a parking lot near the hospital.
545
00:38:02,642 --> 00:38:06,100
- Great. Great.
- So what's wrong with her?
546
00:38:06,225 --> 00:38:09,142
-Who?
-Your sister. You said it's serious.
547
00:38:11,766 --> 00:38:14,016
Yeah. Shark bite.
548
00:38:15,099 --> 00:38:17,849
- A shark bite?
- Yeah.
549
00:38:17,932 --> 00:38:20,557
They took her to Silver City?
550
00:38:20,641 --> 00:38:24,015
They have a really good
shark attack unit there.
551
00:38:31,973 --> 00:38:33,931
How fast was I going?
552
00:38:41,514 --> 00:38:45,472
- Where are we?
- It's a shortcut I know.
553
00:38:45,555 --> 00:38:49,554
-Maybe we should stick to the highway.
-There's a thought.
554
00:38:49,638 --> 00:38:53,846
You say stick to the highway.
I say we should take my shortcut.
555
00:38:53,929 --> 00:38:58,637
- Why don't we just flip a coin?
- It's not what you think.
556
00:38:58,720 --> 00:39:02,012
- Come on, you blind son of a bitch!
- Wait! Stop it!
557
00:39:02,095 --> 00:39:05,803
Give me that goddamn whistle!
I'm gonna shove it up your ass!
558
00:39:05,928 --> 00:39:08,095
Come back here!
559
00:39:11,302 --> 00:39:14,136
Shit.
560
00:39:16,344 --> 00:39:18,844
I'll kill him.
561
00:39:36,300 --> 00:39:38,300
- Squirrel?
- No, thank you.
562
00:39:38,384 --> 00:39:40,800
We're looking for the interstate.
563
00:39:40,884 --> 00:39:44,341
I get that a lot
'cause of the detour.
564
00:39:45,674 --> 00:39:48,508
Now they've lost their way.
565
00:39:48,591 --> 00:39:52,758
Now they can't go home.
You sure you don't want one?
566
00:39:52,841 --> 00:39:54,508
We're sure. Thank you.
567
00:39:54,591 --> 00:39:58,257
They make crackerjack pets.
I taught this one to shake hands.
568
00:39:58,340 --> 00:40:02,423
He's not for sale though. Who wants
to go home with the nice ladies?
569
00:40:02,507 --> 00:40:05,798
"Pick me. Pick me.
Don't be afraid. I don't bite.
570
00:40:05,882 --> 00:40:10,256
- What's your name, pretty lady?"
- Vera.
571
00:40:10,297 --> 00:40:12,714
Ma'am, really.
We're not interested.
572
00:40:12,797 --> 00:40:15,839
Well, I'm not talkin' to you, am I?
I'm talkin' to Vera.
573
00:40:15,964 --> 00:40:20,380
What about Bucky here? He loves
to climb trees and eat nuts.
574
00:40:20,463 --> 00:40:22,546
Ma'am, we do not
want a squirrel.
575
00:40:22,630 --> 00:40:24,755
Do you or do you not know
where the interstate is?
576
00:40:24,838 --> 00:40:28,213
Of course I do. I'm not retarded.
"Tell 'em about the shortcut."
577
00:40:28,296 --> 00:40:30,671
Thank you, Bucky.
578
00:40:30,713 --> 00:40:34,170
I almost forgot.
There's a dandy shortcut.
579
00:40:34,212 --> 00:40:36,920
It'll bring you right to exit 14.
It'll save you 30 miles.
580
00:40:37,962 --> 00:40:40,045
Now listen carefully.
581
00:40:40,129 --> 00:40:43,586
You want to go straight
down here exactly 1.8 miles.
582
00:40:43,711 --> 00:40:47,961
- 1.8.
- Make a left at Totem Pole Ranch.
583
00:40:48,044 --> 00:40:50,794
Go 5.4 miles and
you're gonna go up a big hill.
584
00:40:50,878 --> 00:40:54,460
You'll see a big yellow sign
with some graffiti on it.
585
00:40:54,543 --> 00:40:59,127
Take the dirt road on the right.
It'll take you to the interstate.
586
00:40:59,168 --> 00:41:00,460
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
587
00:41:00,502 --> 00:41:04,877
Wait a minute.
Take some nuts with you...
588
00:41:04,960 --> 00:41:07,626
just in case
you see a squirrel, okay?
589
00:41:09,084 --> 00:41:13,542
"Bye. Bye.
You could have bought me."
590
00:41:13,584 --> 00:41:16,334
You'll make it. You'll make it.
591
00:41:22,958 --> 00:41:24,625
Where am I?
592
00:41:28,166 --> 00:41:31,290
Wow! A Barbie Museum!
Can we stop?
593
00:41:31,374 --> 00:41:35,707
Sorry, Kimmy. We have a plan,
and we're gonna stick to the plan.
594
00:41:35,790 --> 00:41:38,207
Please, Daddy. Please, please,
please, please, please.
595
00:41:38,290 --> 00:41:40,706
- Hey, hey!
- It's not fair.
596
00:41:40,748 --> 00:41:43,373
We never get to stop
anywhere I want to.
597
00:41:43,456 --> 00:41:46,706
I'm sure Jason doesn't want
to go to the Barbie Museum.
598
00:41:46,748 --> 00:41:50,206
You kiddin'? I'll stop anywhere.
I'm wiggin' out back here.
599
00:41:50,289 --> 00:41:53,872
You need to pull over and stop
to give the kids a break.
600
00:41:53,997 --> 00:41:55,872
Yeah, okay,
maybe on the way back.
601
00:41:55,955 --> 00:41:57,913
- Stop the car.
- I can't do that.
602
00:41:58,038 --> 00:41:59,997
- We all need to stop the car.
- No can do.
603
00:42:00,122 --> 00:42:02,455
- You need to stop the car.
- No!
604
00:42:02,538 --> 00:42:03,996
Stop the car!
605
00:42:10,704 --> 00:42:13,246
Okay, fine, but 10 minutes.
606
00:42:13,329 --> 00:42:16,661
Wow! The Barbie Museum.
607
00:42:17,703 --> 00:42:19,036
Klaus Barbie...
608
00:42:19,120 --> 00:42:21,411
sometimes known as
the Butcher of Lyons.
609
00:42:21,495 --> 00:42:25,536
Let the Jew revisionists
talk about their death camps...
610
00:42:25,620 --> 00:42:28,577
and so-called crimes
against humanity.
611
00:42:28,619 --> 00:42:34,035
This museum is lovingly dedicated to
the Klaus Barbie that nobody knows.
612
00:42:34,119 --> 00:42:37,910
The husband, the devoted father,
the wine connoisseur...
613
00:42:37,994 --> 00:42:40,909
and three-time
ballroom dancing champion.
614
00:42:48,034 --> 00:42:50,783
Hey, hey, there's that guy,
the "udgy" one.
615
00:42:53,117 --> 00:42:56,492
Barbie joined
the SS in 1935...
616
00:42:56,575 --> 00:43:00,408
where he soon became one of
the Fuhrer's favorite young officers.
617
00:43:00,450 --> 00:43:02,866
Can we go?
618
00:43:02,949 --> 00:43:06,116
Here we see him standing
beside Hitler's touring car...
619
00:43:06,199 --> 00:43:10,324
the very same car on display
outside in our courtyard.
620
00:43:10,407 --> 00:43:11,657
You're leaving?
621
00:43:13,241 --> 00:43:15,281
What--
622
00:43:15,365 --> 00:43:20,115
No-- Yes. Well, we have a 4:30
book burning, and then we have a--
623
00:43:20,198 --> 00:43:22,198
- A christening.
- Yes, a christening...
624
00:43:22,281 --> 00:43:26,322
for one of our many white,
Christian, non-Jewish friends--
625
00:43:26,405 --> 00:43:32,072
-Family. Blood relatives.
-The Himmler Hessin Von Sturichberg--
626
00:43:32,155 --> 00:43:34,614
- Thank you so much.
- Yes, love your do.
627
00:43:34,739 --> 00:43:36,739
Thank you. It's beautiful.
We had a great time.
628
00:43:38,071 --> 00:43:39,738
Wow! A gift shop.
629
00:43:39,779 --> 00:43:43,113
Yes, I know, honey. Next time.
I promise. I really do.
630
00:43:43,154 --> 00:43:45,154
Just go. Just go.
631
00:43:45,238 --> 00:43:49,945
- Oh, my God! We've been cut!
- What do we do now?
632
00:43:51,028 --> 00:43:52,487
I say we take
the interstate.
633
00:43:52,528 --> 00:43:56,070
No, "ake" Highway "well."
That's a shortcut.
634
00:43:56,153 --> 00:43:59,862
You don't know what the shortcut
is. It could be a dirt road.
635
00:43:59,945 --> 00:44:03,861
You know what? There are
"oo" of us. Why don't we separate?
636
00:44:03,902 --> 00:44:06,902
- What?
- There's "oo" of us.
637
00:44:06,944 --> 00:44:10,361
"Amy" we should "ust" separate.
638
00:44:10,444 --> 00:44:14,110
You're right. You're a genius.
There's two of us.
639
00:44:14,193 --> 00:44:17,151
If we separate and you steal a car,
we can both go our own way...
640
00:44:17,193 --> 00:44:19,151
and double our chances
of gettin' there first.
641
00:44:19,235 --> 00:44:21,776
All right. You take the--
642
00:44:21,860 --> 00:44:24,150
We only got one "ee."
643
00:44:26,609 --> 00:44:30,734
Look, there it is.
Totem Pole Ranch, turn left.
644
00:44:30,817 --> 00:44:35,192
1.8 miles exactly.
All right, squirrel lady.
645
00:44:39,191 --> 00:44:43,899
I can't believe it, Dad. You stole
Adolf Hitler's Mercedes-Benz.
646
00:44:43,941 --> 00:44:48,232
Hitler had it comin'.
What goes around comes around.
647
00:44:48,273 --> 00:44:50,273
They're gonna be pissed.
648
00:44:50,315 --> 00:44:54,898
They're always pissed. They're
Nazis. It's like it's their job.
649
00:44:54,982 --> 00:45:00,272
When we get to Silver City, we'll
call 'em. We'll work somethin' out.
650
00:45:05,856 --> 00:45:07,272
North?
651
00:45:07,356 --> 00:45:09,772
A little detour.
It'll just take a minute.
652
00:45:09,856 --> 00:45:12,355
I just wanted to say hi
to my boyfriend.
653
00:45:20,605 --> 00:45:24,270
I can't believe it.
That-- That son of a bitch!
654
00:45:24,312 --> 00:45:26,354
That's Charlene's car.
655
00:45:26,437 --> 00:45:29,812
-Charlene?
-His ex-girlfriend, or so I thought.
656
00:45:29,854 --> 00:45:34,061
Come on now. I'm sure there's
a perfectly innocent explanation.
657
00:45:34,144 --> 00:45:37,144
She probably came by just
to pick up some clothes or--
658
00:45:37,228 --> 00:45:40,269
Nice and warm.
659
00:45:46,518 --> 00:45:48,018
What the--
660
00:45:48,102 --> 00:45:50,352
Get down!
661
00:45:52,268 --> 00:45:55,893
Did I come at
a bad time, asshole?
662
00:45:58,517 --> 00:46:01,892
I'll ram this helicopter
right down your throat!
663
00:46:07,017 --> 00:46:08,142
What are you doing?
664
00:46:08,184 --> 00:46:12,975
Don't worry. My father's a navy pilot.
I've been flying since I was 15.
665
00:46:13,058 --> 00:46:15,933
I'm not worried about you.
I'm worried about me.
666
00:46:16,016 --> 00:46:20,515
Shawn, you have a minute? I want
to talk about our relationship.
667
00:46:34,639 --> 00:46:36,431
Suck on that, creep!
668
00:46:39,139 --> 00:46:42,056
- That's--
- Not the truck!
669
00:46:42,139 --> 00:46:45,055
Oh, my God!
670
00:46:45,180 --> 00:46:47,347
Come on. Help me. Open it.
671
00:46:47,430 --> 00:46:49,097
I'm not comfortable--
672
00:46:49,222 --> 00:46:51,138
- Open it!
- Okay.
673
00:46:57,596 --> 00:46:59,054
She's gonna kill me.
674
00:46:59,096 --> 00:47:01,679
- We should get outta here.
- Not yet!
675
00:47:02,804 --> 00:47:06,262
You two-timing,
backstabbing snake!
676
00:47:06,346 --> 00:47:08,511
You worm! You turd!
677
00:47:11,428 --> 00:47:17,136
My God! What was I thinking?
I want my five months back!
678
00:47:18,552 --> 00:47:21,094
I'm getting the tattoo removed!
679
00:47:25,219 --> 00:47:27,177
Stop hitting me!
680
00:47:27,219 --> 00:47:30,634
Where are you goin', baby?
Wait for me!
681
00:47:49,842 --> 00:47:54,632
- I think we just killed him.
- You can't! He's like a cockroach.
682
00:48:00,757 --> 00:48:02,174
Fix the--
683
00:48:06,340 --> 00:48:08,381
Should we be this low?
684
00:48:13,631 --> 00:48:16,964
Come on. Come on.
Let's keep goin'. Come on.
685
00:48:20,505 --> 00:48:23,839
We just violated
about 115 federal laws.
686
00:48:23,922 --> 00:48:26,589
- "We"?
- I'm getting out of here. Coming?
687
00:48:28,546 --> 00:48:30,504
I know things look bad--
688
00:48:32,629 --> 00:48:34,546
Nice meeting you.
689
00:48:37,754 --> 00:48:39,754
Get out of the truck, Shawn.
690
00:48:41,212 --> 00:48:43,295
That's it, Tracy.
You and I are through.
691
00:48:46,878 --> 00:48:48,462
Wait!
692
00:48:56,002 --> 00:48:59,669
Wait. This is the first illegal thing
I've done in my adult life.
693
00:48:59,752 --> 00:49:01,711
How does it feel?
694
00:49:01,752 --> 00:49:05,085
I'm shaking, but that could be
from the helicopter crash.
695
00:49:05,168 --> 00:49:09,376
- Get out of my truck, Tracy!
- It's my truck! I paid for it!
696
00:49:09,460 --> 00:49:11,043
- Who is this?
- Nobody.
697
00:49:11,126 --> 00:49:13,668
- You are nobody.
- Nobody.
698
00:49:13,751 --> 00:49:17,709
You stay away from her, nobody,
unless you're tired of livin'.
699
00:49:17,792 --> 00:49:22,042
While you're here, do me a favor.
Charlene left a bra in the truck.
700
00:49:22,125 --> 00:49:25,500
Could you make sure
she gets it? Thanks, honey.
701
00:49:25,584 --> 00:49:26,624
Help!
702
00:50:14,912 --> 00:50:17,912
- So where's the driver?
- He's in the powder room.
703
00:50:17,995 --> 00:50:21,745
Hell's bells. We're never
gonna get to Santa Fe by 3:00.
704
00:50:21,787 --> 00:50:23,745
- This is ridiculous.
- Ridiculous.
705
00:50:23,787 --> 00:50:27,786
I really wish he'd hurry.
It just seems very unprofessional.
706
00:50:34,744 --> 00:50:37,368
Mister, you gotta help me.
My wife--
707
00:50:37,452 --> 00:50:38,868
She's out back.
She's having a baby.
708
00:50:38,952 --> 00:50:40,910
- She's having a what?
- A baby!
709
00:50:40,993 --> 00:50:42,910
- She's having a baby?
- And it's halfway out!
710
00:50:42,993 --> 00:50:45,368
I can see the head!
711
00:50:45,452 --> 00:50:48,409
- I need your jacket.
- Why?
712
00:50:49,784 --> 00:50:52,701
For her amniotic sac!
713
00:50:52,742 --> 00:50:55,367
- Her amniotic fluid is gushing out.
- Gushing?
714
00:50:55,451 --> 00:50:58,617
The jacket! The jacket!
Give me the jacket!
715
00:50:58,701 --> 00:51:01,616
- And your pants.
- My pants?
716
00:51:01,700 --> 00:51:05,033
Your pants! Yeah, for her,
you know, her "placentia"...
717
00:51:05,116 --> 00:51:08,116
you know,
and her labia and cervical--
718
00:51:08,158 --> 00:51:11,365
Mucus gushing-- It's gushing.
719
00:51:11,449 --> 00:51:14,990
It's just a hole and--
720
00:51:15,032 --> 00:51:17,407
Quick! The pants.
And the hat.
721
00:51:17,532 --> 00:51:19,199
Why? Why my hat?
722
00:51:21,365 --> 00:51:22,740
For her...
723
00:51:24,489 --> 00:51:25,739
vagina.
724
00:51:29,073 --> 00:51:31,156
Let's go, ladies.
All aboard. We're on our way.
725
00:51:31,239 --> 00:51:35,738
- What happened to Marty?
- His wife's having a baby.
726
00:51:35,863 --> 00:51:39,613
-A baby?
-I'm Owen, your new driver. Let's go.
727
00:51:40,488 --> 00:51:42,113
Quiet. Quiet, everybody.
728
00:51:42,155 --> 00:51:44,113
Simmer down. Hey!
729
00:51:44,822 --> 00:51:48,154
We're gonna be under way
in just a minute. This is Owen.
730
00:51:48,196 --> 00:51:51,029
He's our new driver.
731
00:51:51,112 --> 00:51:53,571
Everyone say hello.
732
00:51:53,654 --> 00:51:57,529
Hello, Owen!
733
00:51:57,571 --> 00:52:00,153
Our next stop is
the third annual...
734
00:52:00,236 --> 00:52:04,236
I Love Lucy convention
in Santa Fe, New Mexico.
735
00:52:04,361 --> 00:52:08,070
- What do ya say?
- Ba-ba-loo!
736
00:52:22,359 --> 00:52:24,651
Ohh! Ohh !
737
00:52:41,608 --> 00:52:44,607
- Is he dead?
- Hey, mister, are you dead?
738
00:52:47,107 --> 00:52:50,149
It's a race.
It's a race. It's a race.
739
00:52:51,232 --> 00:52:54,649
Run, run,
like greased lightning.
740
00:52:55,441 --> 00:52:58,273
Taxi! Taxi! Taxi!
741
00:53:04,065 --> 00:53:06,356
Not good. Not good.
742
00:53:12,772 --> 00:53:15,355
Don't move! Stay there.
I saw the whole thing.
743
00:53:15,439 --> 00:53:16,730
I'll be right down.
744
00:53:16,772 --> 00:53:20,479
Shit! Gloria Allred.
745
00:53:20,563 --> 00:53:23,896
Hey, buddy?
Buddy, you okay? You okay?
746
00:53:23,979 --> 00:53:26,313
You're fine! You look great.
747
00:53:26,396 --> 00:53:28,396
- You want to report this?
- Taxi!
748
00:53:28,479 --> 00:53:30,438
You don't need a taxi.
Come on!
749
00:53:30,521 --> 00:53:32,478
Where you goin'?
Maybe I can drop you off.
750
00:53:32,562 --> 00:53:35,270
Silver City, New Mexico.
I am in a race.
751
00:53:35,353 --> 00:53:37,937
Silver City?
This is your lucky day!
752
00:53:38,020 --> 00:53:40,978
I'm going to El Paso.
It's right on the way.
753
00:53:41,062 --> 00:53:44,894
Come on. But, look, I got
to be there by 7:00 tonight.
754
00:53:44,977 --> 00:53:47,977
- So I'm going to be driving fast.
- Great.
755
00:53:48,102 --> 00:53:49,019
Yeah!
756
00:53:50,436 --> 00:53:54,268
You just want one copy, 'cause
you get an extra one for half price?
757
00:53:54,310 --> 00:53:56,643
Just one and hurry.
758
00:53:56,726 --> 00:53:58,643
This is the best idea
you ever had.
759
00:53:58,726 --> 00:54:01,268
We split up. We take two keys.
We double our chances of winning.
760
00:54:01,351 --> 00:54:02,476
It can't fail.
761
00:54:02,560 --> 00:54:06,017
- You remember where we're goin'?
- Silver City, New Mexico.
762
00:54:06,100 --> 00:54:08,725
Right. Train station, locker 001.
763
00:54:08,809 --> 00:54:10,809
"Ero, ero," one.
764
00:54:10,892 --> 00:54:13,434
Rule number one: discretion.
Don't talk to anybody.
765
00:54:13,517 --> 00:54:15,517
- I won't. I "romise."
- I'm serious.
766
00:54:15,600 --> 00:54:18,349
We're talking about
$2 million in cash.
767
00:54:18,433 --> 00:54:21,766
People would just kill us
to get their hands on that key.
768
00:54:21,849 --> 00:54:24,891
I love you.
769
00:54:25,891 --> 00:54:27,808
All right, little brother,
you steal a car.
770
00:54:27,891 --> 00:54:30,265
I'm gonna try to steal
that Corvette right there.
771
00:54:30,307 --> 00:54:32,265
I don't care what you get
as long as it's fast.
772
00:54:32,307 --> 00:54:35,557
I'll meet you in Silver City.
Don't forget your key.
773
00:54:37,348 --> 00:54:40,681
That "other-ucking" bastard!
774
00:54:40,764 --> 00:54:43,722
I'll kill 'im! I'm gonna--
775
00:54:47,306 --> 00:54:48,722
There he is!
776
00:54:49,972 --> 00:54:52,721
Go! Go!
777
00:54:53,846 --> 00:54:56,388
Okay, we're at 2.4 miles.
778
00:54:56,471 --> 00:54:57,930
There's the yellow sign
with the graffiti.
779
00:54:58,055 --> 00:54:59,763
- Turn right.
- I see it.
780
00:54:59,805 --> 00:55:01,221
- Do you see it?
- I see it.
781
00:55:01,305 --> 00:55:04,304
I just love this.
This is like a treasure hunt.
782
00:55:06,845 --> 00:55:09,345
- Slow down!
- I can't!
783
00:55:13,804 --> 00:55:15,844
Help!
784
00:55:45,217 --> 00:55:49,551
I guess my favorite episode, if l
had to pick one, would be episode 34.
785
00:55:49,634 --> 00:55:52,883
Ladies, Lucys, Lucys,
stay behind the line, please.
786
00:55:52,966 --> 00:55:56,216
Remember that one when Ricky
wouldn't take his hat off?
787
00:55:56,258 --> 00:55:59,633
I don't remember that one.
It sounds like a masterpiece.
788
00:55:59,758 --> 00:56:02,549
How about the one where
she got caught in the freezer?
789
00:56:02,590 --> 00:56:06,632
Ma'am? Lucy! You have
to put that out, please.
790
00:56:16,256 --> 00:56:18,214
Lucy, your hair!
791
00:56:18,298 --> 00:56:22,548
Thank you. I couldn't decide whether
to keep it up or try something new.
792
00:56:22,631 --> 00:56:25,131
It's on fire!
793
00:56:33,005 --> 00:56:35,588
- Stop the bus!
- We're not stoppin'!
794
00:56:35,713 --> 00:56:38,296
Just put it out!
Just put it out!
795
00:56:38,421 --> 00:56:41,004
Stop!
796
00:56:41,629 --> 00:56:42,796
The bathroom!
797
00:57:12,959 --> 00:57:17,543
Two million dollars. Two million
dollars. Two million dollars.
798
00:57:17,626 --> 00:57:22,209
Two million dollars. Two million
dollars. Two million dollars.
799
00:57:22,251 --> 00:57:24,958
The Donald Sinclair,
the billionaire?
800
00:57:25,042 --> 00:57:28,250
It sounds crazy, I know,
but I think it's on the level.
801
00:57:28,292 --> 00:57:31,208
Here's the thing. We have
to decide yes or no right now.
802
00:57:31,292 --> 00:57:35,957
If everybody else had to drive,
we have a three-hour head start.
803
00:57:35,999 --> 00:57:39,832
- So you're proposing?
- A corporation-- Faucet and Schaffer.
804
00:57:39,957 --> 00:57:43,874
If we win, we split everything
50-50. You can even hold the key.
805
00:57:45,207 --> 00:57:46,874
What do ya think?
806
00:57:48,081 --> 00:57:50,623
I don't know what to think.
I'm in shock.
807
00:57:50,706 --> 00:57:55,998
Three hours ago I was in the airport.
I had a job. I was reading a book.
808
00:57:56,081 --> 00:57:58,540
My grandfather used to say,
"Good things take time.
809
00:57:58,622 --> 00:58:01,247
Great things
happen all at once."
810
00:58:06,997 --> 00:58:11,621
- Jason, where'd you get that?
- I found it under the seat.
811
00:58:11,704 --> 00:58:15,871
- Give it to me. You can't play that.
- Why not?
812
00:58:15,996 --> 00:58:19,204
Because it's Hitler's harmonica.
You can't play Hitler's harmonica.
813
00:58:19,288 --> 00:58:23,703
- You're driving his car.
- I'm not touching it with my mouth.
814
00:58:23,745 --> 00:58:27,453
I'm not sucking on the dashboard.
I'm not gettin' his germs.
815
00:58:27,537 --> 00:58:29,537
Dad, look what I found.
816
00:58:29,620 --> 00:58:34,411
- Where'd you get those?
- The floor. Look, I'm Mrs. Hitler.
817
00:58:34,494 --> 00:58:36,536
All right, take those
off right now.
818
00:58:36,619 --> 00:58:39,536
Hey, look at this.
A lipstick. It's dark.
819
00:58:39,619 --> 00:58:41,577
That Eva Braun had style,
didn't she?
820
00:58:41,661 --> 00:58:44,411
- She was Hitler's girlfriend.
- Give us a kiss.
821
00:58:44,494 --> 00:58:47,451
Bev, it's not funny.
Give me that.
822
00:58:47,535 --> 00:58:49,576
- Honey!
- I got it all over my hand.
823
00:58:49,701 --> 00:58:50,660
Oh...
824
00:58:50,701 --> 00:58:52,035
Randy.
825
00:58:57,992 --> 00:59:00,242
- Chain, chain, chain
- R-E-S-P-E-C- T
826
00:59:00,325 --> 00:59:02,742
- Chain, chain, chain
- find out what it means to me
827
00:59:02,784 --> 00:59:05,409
Respect
Just a little bit
828
00:59:05,450 --> 00:59:07,742
- Just a little bit
- Chain, chain, chain--
829
00:59:07,784 --> 00:59:09,241
Just--
830
00:59:11,158 --> 00:59:14,283
Look at us go.
We are zooming.
831
00:59:14,408 --> 00:59:16,574
I told you.
We're haulin' ass.
832
00:59:16,658 --> 00:59:20,490
We're haulin' ass.
All righty.
833
00:59:23,990 --> 00:59:27,657
- Guess what I got back there.
- You just told me.
834
00:59:27,698 --> 00:59:30,032
Ass. We're haulin' ass.
835
00:59:30,073 --> 00:59:32,697
No, no, no.
That's just an expression.
836
00:59:36,572 --> 00:59:37,864
It's a heart.
837
00:59:39,156 --> 00:59:42,947
- A heart?
- A human heart.
838
00:59:43,946 --> 00:59:47,113
Some lucky bastard
in El Paso's waiting for it.
839
00:59:47,821 --> 00:59:52,655
Normally, they put it on a plane,
but the airport's all closed down.
840
00:59:56,987 --> 01:00:00,362
- You wanna see it?
- See what?
841
01:00:09,778 --> 01:00:11,778
Are we allowed?
842
01:00:11,819 --> 01:00:15,444
Just take a peek. One peek.
What could happen?
843
01:00:17,319 --> 01:00:20,277
It's a heart.
It needs fresh air.
844
01:00:20,318 --> 01:00:23,318
It's been locked up
in that cooler for seven hours.
845
01:00:59,232 --> 01:01:02,024
- Oopsy-daisy. I get it. I get it.
- Shit! Oh, please!
846
01:01:02,107 --> 01:01:04,607
- Don't step on it!
- I think I found it.
847
01:01:04,690 --> 01:01:06,606
No, that's a caramel apple.
848
01:01:19,105 --> 01:01:21,438
This is wrong.
This is so wrong.
849
01:01:21,522 --> 01:01:24,480
God is gonna smote us.
We're gonna get smote.
850
01:01:24,605 --> 01:01:27,272
Come on. We're siphoning gas.
It's not a smoting offense.
851
01:01:27,397 --> 01:01:29,312
What?
852
01:01:35,854 --> 01:01:37,854
Shouldn't be
turning me on, should it?
853
01:01:42,353 --> 01:01:44,020
- Hey!
- Hi.
854
01:01:44,061 --> 01:01:47,895
- What are you doing?
- Seventeen cups of coffee.
855
01:01:52,560 --> 01:01:54,644
I guess--
856
01:01:54,727 --> 01:01:56,602
I guess that's it.
857
01:01:58,685 --> 01:02:02,019
I guess not.
How do you turn this thing off?
858
01:02:02,644 --> 01:02:04,226
Son of a bitch!
859
01:02:11,768 --> 01:02:15,850
- Man! Damn it!
- Keep going. Go! Go!
860
01:02:18,433 --> 01:02:20,392
He's stopping.
861
01:02:20,433 --> 01:02:22,433
'Cause he knows,
don't mess with us.
862
01:02:42,431 --> 01:02:44,348
We gotta wait.
There's too much wind.
863
01:02:44,431 --> 01:02:49,015
- Guys, I need this balloon.
- Hey, what are you doing?
864
01:02:49,098 --> 01:02:51,055
Hey, man, what--
865
01:02:55,639 --> 01:02:57,722
- Hey, hey!
- I know what I'm doing!
866
01:03:02,179 --> 01:03:05,596
I'm coming to get you!
Get back here!
867
01:03:10,304 --> 01:03:14,220
I'll get him. I'm gonna get you,
stupid hardware guy!
868
01:03:19,220 --> 01:03:24,886
- Go! Go!
- Stand up. Grab the rope.
869
01:03:24,969 --> 01:03:28,469
I'm gonna get you!
Stand up. Ready? Grab it.
870
01:03:30,552 --> 01:03:32,511
Missed it.
871
01:03:32,594 --> 01:03:36,801
- Duane! Duane, stop the car!
- Hang on, buddy.
872
01:03:36,885 --> 01:03:38,885
Duane, please stop.
873
01:03:41,676 --> 01:03:44,843
I got it! I got it!
Just hang on.
874
01:03:52,675 --> 01:03:56,967
- Stop it! Blaine!
- My God! You're gonna kill me!
875
01:03:58,050 --> 01:04:00,008
The cows!
876
01:04:03,841 --> 01:04:05,174
Move!
877
01:04:09,466 --> 01:04:10,924
Watch out!
878
01:04:31,422 --> 01:04:32,547
Shit.
879
01:04:44,921 --> 01:04:47,045
Oh, God!
880
01:04:55,837 --> 01:04:58,711
Help!
881
01:05:03,294 --> 01:05:05,294
- Give me my key.
- What are you talking about?
882
01:05:05,378 --> 01:05:07,419
Give me back my key.
The key!
883
01:05:09,752 --> 01:05:11,877
Give me the key.
884
01:05:59,623 --> 01:06:03,456
Blaine! Blaine!
It's me.
885
01:06:14,663 --> 01:06:16,580
I got the key.
886
01:06:23,246 --> 01:06:24,871
How's it going, Captain?
887
01:06:24,954 --> 01:06:26,912
So far, so good.
888
01:06:26,954 --> 01:06:31,078
- How about a pit stop?
- Sorry. This is a one-way flight.
889
01:06:31,203 --> 01:06:33,120
There's a bathroom
in the back.
890
01:06:33,203 --> 01:06:36,245
The latch is broken.
Anybody could just come in.
891
01:06:36,328 --> 01:06:41,995
So what? You ain't got nothing
the other Lucys haven't seen already.
892
01:06:42,161 --> 01:06:43,077
Not necessarily.
893
01:06:43,369 --> 01:06:45,369
Please, would you
stop screaming?
894
01:06:46,202 --> 01:06:47,285
Damn!
895
01:06:51,244 --> 01:06:52,660
Help me!
896
01:06:52,744 --> 01:06:55,243
For God's sake, help me!
897
01:07:08,117 --> 01:07:10,283
Oh, shit.
898
01:07:15,992 --> 01:07:19,157
Owen!
Owen, what are you doing?
899
01:07:19,241 --> 01:07:21,199
It's a flat tire.
Please, stay on the bus.
900
01:07:21,282 --> 01:07:24,782
- Well, you're turning it the wrong way.
- I know what I'm doing.
901
01:07:24,907 --> 01:07:28,616
- Please, get on the bus. Wait!
- Maybe we should check the oil.
902
01:07:28,699 --> 01:07:32,615
I think you're supposed to change
the air in the tires every 12,000 miles.
903
01:07:32,740 --> 01:07:35,406
- I can fix it.
- Give me that!
904
01:07:37,031 --> 01:07:39,198
Wait! That's the spare!
905
01:07:48,280 --> 01:07:49,780
We'll still catch it.
906
01:08:15,819 --> 01:08:18,486
Turn it around.
Just turn it around.
907
01:08:18,569 --> 01:08:22,111
Please be careful.
Wait, wait, wait. What is that?
908
01:08:24,361 --> 01:08:27,485
- It's a nickel.
- Would you please put it in the bag?
909
01:08:45,067 --> 01:08:49,359
Why don't you check over there?
Maybe it bounced.
910
01:08:51,816 --> 01:08:55,983
- I'm a dead man.
- Don't worry. We will find the heart.
911
01:08:56,024 --> 01:09:00,108
I have lost my heart
many times before.
912
01:09:03,857 --> 01:09:05,773
I make a joke...
913
01:09:05,857 --> 01:09:09,815
to help you forget
how screwed you are.
914
01:09:09,898 --> 01:09:14,731
I don't think it got this far.
Let's check down by the road.
915
01:09:14,814 --> 01:09:16,939
Oh, hello. A doggy.
916
01:09:17,022 --> 01:09:19,356
Hello. Hello. Hello there.
917
01:09:19,439 --> 01:09:21,689
Isn't he a good doggy?
918
01:09:21,772 --> 01:09:24,356
Come on. Come on.
Fetch. Fetch it.
919
01:09:26,146 --> 01:09:29,105
Look at him go.
920
01:09:30,938 --> 01:09:33,605
- Here, boy!
- Doggy!
921
01:09:33,688 --> 01:09:35,105
Good boy!
922
01:09:40,104 --> 01:09:41,687
- It really is a beautiful car.
- Yeah.
923
01:09:41,812 --> 01:09:43,979
- Look at this mahogany.
- Gorgeous.
924
01:09:44,062 --> 01:09:47,145
You just don't see
that anymore, you know?
925
01:09:47,229 --> 01:09:50,311
- I wonder what this is.
- Careful. That's a cigarette lighter.
926
01:09:50,394 --> 01:09:52,311
- No, I don't think they had those then.
- Yes, they did.
927
01:09:53,103 --> 01:09:55,228
Oh, honey!
Did you burn yourself?
928
01:09:55,269 --> 01:09:57,436
- Yeah. Oh, God!
- Oh, I told you.
929
01:10:00,893 --> 01:10:02,893
Sorry.
930
01:10:02,977 --> 01:10:05,435
My husband,
he burned his finger, ma'am.
931
01:10:05,518 --> 01:10:09,268
- He was pulling, then he was waving--
- Bev, Bev, not helping.
932
01:10:10,518 --> 01:10:12,434
- Hi.
- Hi.
933
01:10:15,059 --> 01:10:18,184
I really like
your dike. Bike.
934
01:10:20,434 --> 01:10:21,351
It's nice.
935
01:10:26,475 --> 01:10:29,475
Cut 'em off!
Get in front!
936
01:10:30,225 --> 01:10:32,850
- Hey! What are you, nuts?
- Get down!
937
01:10:32,933 --> 01:10:35,016
Kids, stay down!
This thing won't go any faster!
938
01:10:35,100 --> 01:10:37,474
Stop it! The headlights!
The headlight!
939
01:10:37,557 --> 01:10:42,182
- Oh, my God!
- Are you insane? This is Hitler's car!
940
01:11:00,388 --> 01:11:03,680
Honey, go ask them for help.
Tell them everything that happened.
941
01:11:03,763 --> 01:11:06,138
And ask them
to call the police.
942
01:11:06,222 --> 01:11:08,138
And a tow truck.
943
01:11:52,468 --> 01:11:54,676
- Hello.
- Hello.
944
01:11:54,759 --> 01:11:57,217
- Are you Harold?
- Yes.
945
01:11:57,300 --> 01:11:59,758
I'm Vicky.
946
01:12:00,800 --> 01:12:02,842
Are you gonna
invite me in, Harry?
947
01:12:02,925 --> 01:12:05,008
Or would you rather
party out here in the hallway?
948
01:12:05,925 --> 01:12:07,092
Please. Come in.
949
01:12:11,299 --> 01:12:13,216
Not too shabby.
950
01:12:14,382 --> 01:12:17,091
- Where are you from, Harry?
- From here.
951
01:12:17,174 --> 01:12:20,756
- Las Vegas.
- A local boy makes good.
952
01:12:22,840 --> 01:12:26,631
So, Harry,
what can I do for you?
953
01:12:27,715 --> 01:12:29,881
Okay. Here's what I want.
954
01:12:31,131 --> 01:12:32,672
First we both get naked.
955
01:12:32,755 --> 01:12:37,214
- So far, so good.
- Only we're wearing sailor hats.
956
01:12:38,422 --> 01:12:39,464
And then...
957
01:12:40,547 --> 01:12:43,629
we get into a Jacuzzi...
958
01:12:43,713 --> 01:12:45,963
filled with Pepto-Bismol.
959
01:12:46,796 --> 01:12:47,713
And...
960
01:12:48,796 --> 01:12:51,213
I clip your toenails...
961
01:12:51,296 --> 01:12:53,463
and you shave my buttocks.
962
01:12:54,879 --> 01:12:56,837
Pardon me?
963
01:12:56,920 --> 01:13:00,837
Okay, naked,
Jacuzzi, Pepto-Bismol...
964
01:13:00,878 --> 01:13:03,837
toenails,
shave my buttocks.
965
01:13:03,878 --> 01:13:05,503
How much would that cost?
966
01:13:05,587 --> 01:13:09,086
Geez, honey,
you have quite an imagination.
967
01:13:10,044 --> 01:13:11,419
How much would it cost?
968
01:13:13,586 --> 01:13:16,086
Well, let's see.
969
01:13:16,169 --> 01:13:19,626
A party like that--
970
01:13:19,710 --> 01:13:21,626
three thousand dollars.
971
01:13:21,710 --> 01:13:25,418
Okay, 3,000.
Who has 3,000?
972
01:13:25,501 --> 01:13:27,501
Carlton had 2,800.
He's the closest.
973
01:13:48,083 --> 01:13:51,083
I think it's okay.
What do you think?
974
01:13:51,124 --> 01:13:54,457
What about those little holes?
975
01:13:54,498 --> 01:13:57,332
Are they bite marks?
976
01:13:57,415 --> 01:14:01,373
That's-- That's how it was.
I'm-- I'm pretty sure.
977
01:14:01,498 --> 01:14:03,332
What am I doing?
978
01:14:03,457 --> 01:14:05,872
I can't go
to El Paso with this.
979
01:14:05,956 --> 01:14:08,997
Look at it.
It's gonna leak like a sieve.
980
01:14:09,122 --> 01:14:12,039
The guy's gonna be alive
for like two minutes and then--
981
01:14:19,121 --> 01:14:22,455
- A drifter.
- A drifter?
982
01:14:23,413 --> 01:14:26,496
We-- We find a drifter...
983
01:14:26,580 --> 01:14:28,537
kill him,
cut out his heart.
984
01:14:28,620 --> 01:14:31,329
Nobody's gonna miss him, right?
I mean, he's a drifter.
985
01:14:31,412 --> 01:14:33,454
He's an invisible man.
It's a perfect plan.
986
01:14:33,537 --> 01:14:36,495
Mr. Zack, now you are
giving me the freak-out.
987
01:14:38,120 --> 01:14:40,578
Where--
Where do I find a drifter?
988
01:14:46,619 --> 01:14:47,869
Enrico.
989
01:14:49,286 --> 01:14:52,993
- Where did you say you were from?
- Me? I am from Napoli.
990
01:14:54,410 --> 01:14:57,660
And your family,
they're back there?
991
01:14:57,743 --> 01:15:01,493
No. No, my papa, he is dead.
992
01:15:01,577 --> 01:15:06,492
And my mama. All gone.
993
01:15:06,534 --> 01:15:09,201
Any family? Kids?
994
01:15:11,909 --> 01:15:15,908
I am completely alone.
995
01:15:16,033 --> 01:15:18,366
Why--
996
01:15:18,450 --> 01:15:21,241
Why do you--
997
01:15:23,991 --> 01:15:26,824
Look, a drifter.
Let's kill him.
998
01:15:26,907 --> 01:15:28,824
Son of a--
Come back here!
999
01:15:51,363 --> 01:15:54,697
Whatever. Listen, sugar.
You're not going anywhere today.
1000
01:15:54,738 --> 01:15:56,363
You got a crack
in your radiator.
1001
01:15:56,447 --> 01:15:59,030
That's this big tank
in front of this big engine.
1002
01:15:59,113 --> 01:16:02,154
- I know what a radiator is.
- Is there a place we can rent a car?
1003
01:16:02,237 --> 01:16:04,529
- Albuquerque.
- Okay, look.
1004
01:16:04,612 --> 01:16:06,612
We'll just have to patch it.
A quick fix.
1005
01:16:06,654 --> 01:16:10,571
- Patch it? Patch it with what?
- Sand and tire sealant.
1006
01:16:10,612 --> 01:16:14,320
You mix the two. It forms an
adhesive, lasting a couple of hours.
1007
01:16:14,403 --> 01:16:16,320
We only have about
30 miles to go?
1008
01:16:16,403 --> 01:16:19,320
Darlin',
we don't have any sand.
1009
01:16:19,403 --> 01:16:22,736
Hello!
We're in the desert!
1010
01:16:28,735 --> 01:16:30,819
We should've
bought a squirrel.
1011
01:16:38,151 --> 01:16:42,318
Mother of mercy!
Where'd you come from? Car trouble?
1012
01:16:42,443 --> 01:16:46,359
Here. Sit down.
You two look exhausted.
1013
01:16:46,443 --> 01:16:49,358
How long y'all been out there?
Here. Have something to drink.
1014
01:16:49,442 --> 01:16:51,942
Ladies and gentlemen,
members of the press--
1015
01:16:52,025 --> 01:16:56,192
- What's going on?
- Some rocket scientists from L.A....
1016
01:16:56,275 --> 01:16:58,817
they're trying to break
the land speed record.
1017
01:17:01,732 --> 01:17:05,441
A unique combination of automotive
and aerodynamic innovation.
1018
01:17:05,524 --> 01:17:07,774
The vehicle, which
we call Lightning ll...
1019
01:17:07,857 --> 01:17:09,566
represents three years
of R & D...
1020
01:17:09,649 --> 01:17:13,065
which was conducted at the
California Institute of Technology.
1021
01:17:13,106 --> 01:17:18,065
The design team was led by Professor
Ken Freedman and Dr. Richard Kramer.
1022
01:17:18,148 --> 01:17:20,648
We believe
that, aerodynamically...
1023
01:17:20,690 --> 01:17:23,397
this is the most perfect
vehicle ever designed.
1024
01:17:23,480 --> 01:17:27,272
The entire vehicle weighs
less than 1,850 pounds.
1025
01:17:27,355 --> 01:17:30,022
The body is a one-piece
Kevlar composite.
1026
01:17:30,105 --> 01:17:32,230
The wheels are
solid billet aluminum...
1027
01:17:32,314 --> 01:17:35,979
and she's powered by twin
JE-79 turbojet engines...
1028
01:17:36,063 --> 01:17:38,688
the same engines that are
in the F-4 Phantom jet.
1029
01:17:38,771 --> 01:17:40,729
Are there any questions?
1030
01:17:40,771 --> 01:17:43,229
Mr. Calvert, what is
the current land speed record?
1031
01:17:43,271 --> 01:17:45,313
That would be
742 miles per hour...
1032
01:17:45,438 --> 01:17:47,895
but we hope to have
a new record today.
1033
01:17:48,020 --> 01:17:51,478
- Anyone else?
- How do you start it?
1034
01:17:51,562 --> 01:17:53,645
Good question.
1035
01:17:53,728 --> 01:17:56,020
A green lever to the left of the
steering wheel in the cockpit...
1036
01:17:56,103 --> 01:17:59,186
engages the primary thruster,
igniting the JE--
1037
01:18:12,560 --> 01:18:14,518
740, 745--
1038
01:18:14,560 --> 01:18:16,601
- That's a record.
- They'll break the sound barrier.
1039
01:18:20,143 --> 01:18:23,475
Well, that's it. I still don't
think she's gonna hold.
1040
01:18:23,559 --> 01:18:26,684
- What do we owe you?
- Five hundred bucks.
1041
01:18:26,767 --> 01:18:30,142
- What?
- For two quarts of sealant?
1042
01:18:30,184 --> 01:18:33,224
No way.
That's 20 bucks tops.
1043
01:18:33,308 --> 01:18:36,099
Okay, here's 40 dollars.
That's double what it's worth, okay?
1044
01:18:36,183 --> 01:18:38,099
Come on, Nick. Let's go.
1045
01:18:39,683 --> 01:18:40,766
Hold it.
1046
01:18:43,099 --> 01:18:45,765
Another little tool
no mechanic should be without.
1047
01:18:47,348 --> 01:18:51,473
Fine. Here's your $500.
But you know what, Billy Ray?
1048
01:18:51,598 --> 01:18:53,515
What goes around,
comes around.
1049
01:18:53,598 --> 01:18:55,515
This is so unchristian.
1050
01:18:55,598 --> 01:18:57,347
Unchristian?
1051
01:18:58,472 --> 01:19:01,889
Well, if the good Lord don't
like the way I conduct business...
1052
01:19:01,972 --> 01:19:03,597
let him say something.
1053
01:19:03,681 --> 01:19:05,889
Let him give me a sign.
1054
01:19:05,972 --> 01:19:09,846
Oh, Lord, I'm here
and I'm listening!
1055
01:19:09,930 --> 01:19:11,971
Hello!
1056
01:19:17,096 --> 01:19:21,054
- Mach one!
- We did it! We did it!
1057
01:19:27,262 --> 01:19:30,179
Hey, everybody okay?
You all right? Yeah?
1058
01:19:30,262 --> 01:19:33,844
- Randy, you okay?
- There's no Ink Inc.
1059
01:19:33,928 --> 01:19:36,928
- What?
- There's no job.
1060
01:19:38,594 --> 01:19:40,844
It's a race. We're racing.
1061
01:19:40,928 --> 01:19:43,093
Donald Sinclair put
$2 million in a locker.
1062
01:19:43,177 --> 01:19:45,343
And I wanna get there first.
1063
01:19:45,427 --> 01:19:50,385
I do not want
to work at Home Depot!
1064
01:20:21,340 --> 01:20:23,590
Okay, people,
back on the bus.
1065
01:20:23,674 --> 01:20:25,799
George, don't eat that.
1066
01:20:25,882 --> 01:20:29,298
Get back on the bus!
Come on. Back on the bus.
1067
01:20:29,381 --> 01:20:31,298
Simon, put that down.
1068
01:20:31,423 --> 01:20:35,048
You too. Back on the bus.
Come on, everyone!
1069
01:20:35,173 --> 01:20:38,548
We don't wanna miss dinner.
It's macaroni night!
1070
01:20:42,088 --> 01:20:43,463
We came in
the rocket car.
1071
01:20:43,547 --> 01:20:48,005
Oh, a rocket car. Let's hear
all about that on the bus.
1072
01:20:48,088 --> 01:20:50,088
All right,
so we can still win...
1073
01:20:50,172 --> 01:20:53,129
but we have
to leave now, all right?
1074
01:20:53,212 --> 01:20:55,837
- So, come on.
- Dad.
1075
01:20:55,879 --> 01:20:58,087
It's been a living hell.
1076
01:20:58,171 --> 01:21:01,921
Bev, it's-- it's $2 million.
1077
01:21:02,004 --> 01:21:05,211
That's a lifetime supply
of hummus.
1078
01:21:12,920 --> 01:21:15,835
Okay. Okay. Yeah.
1079
01:21:15,919 --> 01:21:18,794
I've been selfish.
I understand.
1080
01:21:18,877 --> 01:21:22,169
I'm sorry. Really.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
1081
01:21:22,252 --> 01:21:26,419
I'm sorry.
I almost got us killed.
1082
01:21:31,001 --> 01:21:33,001
God!
1083
01:21:41,208 --> 01:21:44,750
- Hi, everybody. Miss me?
- Hey!
1084
01:21:44,875 --> 01:21:48,458
To show there's no hard feelings,
chocolate shakes all around.
1085
01:21:48,542 --> 01:21:51,499
- Are you okay?
- Yeah, I'm fine.
1086
01:21:51,582 --> 01:21:54,624
I'm a little disappointed,
but I'm an adult.
1087
01:21:54,707 --> 01:21:57,249
So drink these up, and then
we'll return the Nazi-mobile.
1088
01:21:57,332 --> 01:22:00,999
We'll get that van fixed, go back
to Vegas and see David Copperfield!
1089
01:22:01,041 --> 01:22:05,040
Yea! Okay,
drink up, buddy!
1090
01:22:05,123 --> 01:22:06,831
Is it good?
1091
01:22:06,915 --> 01:22:08,873
Drink it up, honey.
1092
01:22:12,415 --> 01:22:14,955
Oh, don't feel bad.
1093
01:22:15,080 --> 01:22:17,539
- It's not your fault.
- We'll tell the company.
1094
01:22:17,664 --> 01:22:20,080
We won't let them
fire you.
1095
01:22:20,122 --> 01:22:22,622
- I'm no bus driver.
- Don't say that.
1096
01:22:22,664 --> 01:22:25,871
No. I'm not.
I'm not a bus driver.
1097
01:22:25,954 --> 01:22:28,746
Oh, you mustn't be
so hard on yourself.
1098
01:22:28,829 --> 01:22:32,163
Hey, everybody, who's
the world's greatest bus driver?
1099
01:22:39,328 --> 01:22:40,537
Listen. Listen. No, no!
1100
01:22:40,620 --> 01:22:44,703
No! No! Shut up, you crazy
Lucy bitches! Shut up!
1101
01:22:47,037 --> 01:22:49,786
I am not a bus driver!
1102
01:22:49,869 --> 01:22:53,952
I do not work for
the bus company! All right?
1103
01:22:54,036 --> 01:22:58,619
I needed a ride to New Mexico,
so I stole this uniform!
1104
01:22:58,702 --> 01:23:02,535
See this jacket?
This is not my jacket!
1105
01:23:02,618 --> 01:23:04,576
Remember Marty,
the bus driver?
1106
01:23:05,451 --> 01:23:08,826
This is his shirt!
I stole it!
1107
01:23:08,868 --> 01:23:11,285
And these pants, you think
I'd wear these pants?
1108
01:23:11,368 --> 01:23:13,784
These aren't my pants!
1109
01:23:13,867 --> 01:23:16,534
These are Marty's pants.
I stole them.
1110
01:23:19,700 --> 01:23:23,117
I am not a bus driver.
1111
01:23:25,741 --> 01:23:28,616
You're not
a real bus driver?
1112
01:23:28,699 --> 01:23:30,991
You lied to us!
1113
01:23:31,074 --> 01:23:33,574
He ruined
our whole vacation!
1114
01:23:43,698 --> 01:23:47,531
Here they come.
They're all within 50 miles.
1115
01:23:47,572 --> 01:23:50,239
It's the final lap.
Mr. Grisham.
1116
01:23:50,322 --> 01:23:53,447
Now, the airport's back on-line, so
I want you to take the Lear jet...
1117
01:23:53,572 --> 01:23:56,781
scoot on down to Silver City
and report from the finish line.
1118
01:23:56,864 --> 01:23:59,655
Yes, sir.
1119
01:23:59,738 --> 01:24:00,863
Yes!
1120
01:24:23,361 --> 01:24:25,278
Let's go back to Vegas.
1121
01:24:27,278 --> 01:24:30,278
Bev, Bev, wake--
Come on. Wake up. Wake up.
1122
01:24:30,361 --> 01:24:33,278
Bev, wake up. Wake up.
Third Reich's here. Come on.
1123
01:24:33,361 --> 01:24:35,277
Get down. You wanna
have a nice life.
1124
01:24:35,360 --> 01:24:38,818
Okay, okay. Think. Think.
SS in the parking lot.
1125
01:24:38,902 --> 01:24:40,818
Not good. Not good. Think.
1126
01:24:44,443 --> 01:24:45,442
Hi, honey.
1127
01:24:46,567 --> 01:24:48,526
- They gonna be all right?
- Yeah.
1128
01:24:48,567 --> 01:24:52,234
Friend, I don't
think there's room.
1129
01:24:53,859 --> 01:24:55,817
This one's little.
1130
01:24:57,566 --> 01:25:00,733
- There it is. There it is!
- Silver City. We're almost there.
1131
01:25:00,816 --> 01:25:03,150
Yeah! Go!
1132
01:26:31,225 --> 01:26:33,308
Where the fuck are we?
1133
01:27:40,011 --> 01:27:42,344
There were two guys
in there.
1134
01:27:42,386 --> 01:27:44,344
- Where'd they go?
- Hey!
1135
01:27:44,386 --> 01:27:46,011
Thanks for the truck, buddy!
1136
01:28:49,381 --> 01:28:51,546
- Yeah.
- Silver City.
1137
01:28:51,630 --> 01:28:53,713
Next stop, Silver City.
1138
01:28:53,796 --> 01:28:57,296
Silver City?
It is the finish line.
1139
01:28:57,380 --> 01:29:00,588
I made it. I made it!
1140
01:29:02,587 --> 01:29:06,712
The key.
Where is the key?
1141
01:29:10,337 --> 01:29:12,920
What have we-- Where is
the key, my little baby?
1142
01:29:13,003 --> 01:29:15,961
- Excuse me.
- I think I am touching it.
1143
01:29:16,003 --> 01:29:19,961
- Get away from him.
- I can feel it. It's very small.
1144
01:29:20,044 --> 01:29:24,461
- I'm calling the conductor!
- I have it! I got it!
1145
01:29:24,544 --> 01:29:27,793
Wait! Wait!
Come back! Don't leave me!
1146
01:29:33,085 --> 01:29:35,668
Come on! Come on, baby!
1147
01:29:37,376 --> 01:29:39,042
Giddyap!
1148
01:29:43,126 --> 01:29:47,001
Come on, baby.
Just one more mile.
1149
01:29:47,084 --> 01:29:49,500
Just one mile.
Come on!
1150
01:29:50,708 --> 01:29:52,666
Randy?
1151
01:29:53,708 --> 01:29:55,875
Hey, honey,
how'd you sleep?
1152
01:30:03,832 --> 01:30:07,040
- Pass. Pass him.
- I can't. We're too big.
1153
01:30:07,082 --> 01:30:11,124
There's Silver City.
We're here. Move!
1154
01:30:13,748 --> 01:30:15,664
They stopped.
1155
01:30:18,623 --> 01:30:20,289
They're moving. Look.
1156
01:30:29,663 --> 01:30:31,580
Come on, Dad! Let's go!
1157
01:30:34,537 --> 01:30:35,621
I can smell it.
1158
01:30:35,704 --> 01:30:39,662
Daisy, Daisy
1159
01:30:39,746 --> 01:30:43,204
Give meyouranswertrue
1160
01:30:43,246 --> 01:30:47,203
Daisy, Daisy
1161
01:30:54,578 --> 01:30:57,620
Hey! Hey!
Stop the bus! Stop the bus!
1162
01:30:57,661 --> 01:31:02,119
- We gotta get off!
- Ladies. You know the rules.
1163
01:31:02,160 --> 01:31:04,327
We're not crazy, lady.
1164
01:31:04,410 --> 01:31:06,327
We should've bought a squirrel.
We didn't buy a squirrel.
1165
01:31:06,369 --> 01:31:08,994
- That's why we took the rocket car.
- We can still win.
1166
01:31:09,077 --> 01:31:12,243
Open the door, or I'm gonna crush
you like a cockroach in the night.
1167
01:31:12,326 --> 01:31:14,826
Open the door!
Tell him! Tell him!
1168
01:31:14,909 --> 01:31:16,826
- Open the door.
- Thank you!
1169
01:31:45,656 --> 01:31:46,948
It's Pollini.
1170
01:31:47,073 --> 01:31:49,240
Enrico Pollini on a train.
1171
01:31:49,365 --> 01:31:53,406
- He just rolled into the station.
- Well, what do you know?
1172
01:31:53,531 --> 01:31:55,448
Rip Van Winkle
pulled it off.
1173
01:31:55,573 --> 01:31:57,614
You gotta love a long shot.
1174
01:32:22,153 --> 01:32:25,112
It's here. It's here.
1175
01:32:25,237 --> 01:32:28,112
- It's here.
- Here he comes.
1176
01:32:28,195 --> 01:32:30,570
- It's you.
- He's holding the key.
1177
01:32:32,611 --> 01:32:34,902
And he's going
to the locker.
1178
01:32:36,527 --> 01:32:40,111
Mr. Pollini, well done, sir.
And congratulations.
1179
01:32:40,152 --> 01:32:43,360
On behalf of Mr. Donald Sinclair,
the Venetian Hotel and Casino--
1180
01:32:49,485 --> 01:32:52,526
Mr. Grisham, is it over?
1181
01:32:59,400 --> 01:33:01,359
- Get out of the way!
- Open it!
1182
01:33:08,774 --> 01:33:10,691
He's sleeping.
1183
01:33:30,814 --> 01:33:32,731
Did I win?
1184
01:33:33,856 --> 01:33:35,897
Vicky.
You let go of this bag...
1185
01:33:35,981 --> 01:33:39,522
or I swear to God, I'll report
you to the escort service.
1186
01:33:39,606 --> 01:33:42,105
Mr. Grisham,
what's going on?
1187
01:33:42,188 --> 01:33:46,021
The hooker-- The hooker--
The hookeris taking the money.
1188
01:33:46,105 --> 01:33:49,813
- What hooker?
- Vicky. From the hotel.
1189
01:33:49,855 --> 01:33:53,562
- Pepto-Bismol?
- I told you to wait in the car.
1190
01:33:53,645 --> 01:33:56,229
- What the hell is she doing there?
- I brought her.
1191
01:33:56,312 --> 01:33:59,895
I'm sorry, Mr. Sinclair.
She said she liked me.
1192
01:34:00,020 --> 01:34:03,520
I'm beginning to think she was
only interested in the money!
1193
01:34:08,269 --> 01:34:10,603
- Come with me.
- I'll drive.
1194
01:34:24,852 --> 01:34:27,976
So long, suckers!
1195
01:34:34,351 --> 01:34:37,309
- The bus! The bus.
- You wanna steal a bus?
1196
01:34:37,392 --> 01:34:40,683
- Yes, I do.
- My God, what have I done?
1197
01:34:42,475 --> 01:34:45,058
Help! Somebody help me!
1198
01:34:47,475 --> 01:34:49,433
This thing's got
a mind of its own.
1199
01:34:55,890 --> 01:34:58,349
- Finders keepers, pal.
- That's mine.
1200
01:34:58,432 --> 01:35:00,682
I see it!
I see it! Relax!
1201
01:35:13,639 --> 01:35:15,930
It means it's a scratch.
Nobody wins.
1202
01:35:16,013 --> 01:35:19,763
I'll tell you what it means.
We're going into extra innings.
1203
01:35:19,847 --> 01:35:22,888
Carla, call the airport. Tell them
to get my other Lear ready.
1204
01:35:22,972 --> 01:35:25,971
Gordon, stay here and watch the
board. Tell us where they're going.
1205
01:35:26,054 --> 01:35:30,012
Gentlemen, grab your drinks.
We're going to Silver City.
1206
01:35:40,470 --> 01:35:42,386
- Is that it?
- That's it.
1207
01:35:42,470 --> 01:35:44,678
Thank the pilot.
Tell him to level off.
1208
01:35:46,136 --> 01:35:47,886
Who had Mr. Kimiche?
1209
01:35:47,970 --> 01:35:50,260
- It was me.
- Well done!
1210
01:35:50,427 --> 01:35:53,260
- Congratulations.
- Very good.
1211
01:35:57,219 --> 01:35:58,135
Keep going!
1212
01:35:59,302 --> 01:36:01,259
Come on!
1213
01:36:01,343 --> 01:36:03,884
There it is.
It's coming down right there.
1214
01:36:20,300 --> 01:36:22,342
- Where is it?
- There it is.
1215
01:36:22,425 --> 01:36:24,216
Go!
1216
01:36:27,257 --> 01:36:30,716
- Get it! Get it!
- Grab that money!
1217
01:36:30,799 --> 01:36:32,757
Get it down!
1218
01:36:50,630 --> 01:36:52,922
Now, that is
one hell of an entrance.
1219
01:36:53,005 --> 01:36:54,839
It's Smash Mouth!
1220
01:36:55,922 --> 01:36:58,671
What's going on over here?
1221
01:36:58,754 --> 01:37:00,754
- What's this?
- Money.
1222
01:37:00,838 --> 01:37:03,004
Jesus, how much is this?
1223
01:37:03,088 --> 01:37:05,338
- Two million dollars.
- Two--
1224
01:37:05,421 --> 01:37:09,421
Two million--
Two million dollars, everybody!
1225
01:37:11,962 --> 01:37:14,087
Two million dollars!
1226
01:37:14,170 --> 01:37:17,128
On the bus,
we talked about it...
1227
01:37:17,170 --> 01:37:21,045
and we decide
to share all the money.
1228
01:37:22,044 --> 01:37:24,169
They're gonna share
all the money, everybody!
1229
01:37:25,544 --> 01:37:27,044
Oh, man!
1230
01:37:28,086 --> 01:37:29,711
Get these guys some jackets.
1231
01:37:29,794 --> 01:37:32,252
Get these jack--
Get these jackets over here.
1232
01:37:33,918 --> 01:37:37,085
So what's the story, man? Are you
guys some kind of organization?
1233
01:37:37,168 --> 01:37:41,043
- What's going on?
- No, no. We just met this morning.
1234
01:37:41,126 --> 01:37:44,126
They just met
this morning, everybody!
1235
01:37:44,168 --> 01:37:45,667
Oh, my God!
1236
01:37:45,792 --> 01:37:48,750
I almost didn't come along,
but then I met Tracy and--
1237
01:37:48,834 --> 01:37:50,917
Well, great things
happen all at once.
1238
01:37:51,000 --> 01:37:54,459
Oh, this is beautiful, baby.
This is beautiful.
1239
01:37:54,542 --> 01:37:56,834
Great things happen,
I don't know.
1240
01:37:57,958 --> 01:37:59,874
Feed the earth, baby.
Feed the earth.
1241
01:37:59,958 --> 01:38:03,958
We're gonna check the tote board
now and see where we're at. Okay?
1242
01:38:04,041 --> 01:38:07,541
Come on, baby.
Let it roll. Come on, baby.
1243
01:38:17,207 --> 01:38:18,582
You don't understand.
1244
01:38:23,872 --> 01:38:28,581
Excuse me.
We work for Feed the Earth.
1245
01:38:28,664 --> 01:38:30,497
These are some
of our children.
1246
01:38:35,705 --> 01:38:39,538
I don't know who you people are
or where you came from...
1247
01:38:39,580 --> 01:38:42,830
but God bless you.
1248
01:38:45,037 --> 01:38:45,954
Tonight...
1249
01:38:46,037 --> 01:38:48,579
you've given to these kids...
1250
01:38:48,704 --> 01:38:53,787
and their brothers and sisters
all over the world more than money.
1251
01:38:53,912 --> 01:38:56,661
You've given them back
their faith...
1252
01:38:56,744 --> 01:39:00,161
their faith
in the goodness of people.
1253
01:39:07,743 --> 01:39:12,910
She said, "You are just
like the 12 disciples."
1254
01:39:14,577 --> 01:39:16,202
Aw!
1255
01:39:19,617 --> 01:39:20,742
Aw!
1256
01:39:22,242 --> 01:39:23,867
Thank you.
1257
01:40:11,863 --> 01:40:13,780
Forget it.
1258
01:40:13,863 --> 01:40:16,654
All these other disciples can do
whatever they want with their share.
1259
01:40:16,737 --> 01:40:18,862
- But this money goes home with us.
- What?
1260
01:40:18,904 --> 01:40:22,237
- Period. End of story.
- Put the money in the bag, carrot.
1261
01:40:26,779 --> 01:40:29,736
You don't know me, man.
1262
01:40:29,861 --> 01:40:31,820
Come here.
1263
01:40:34,153 --> 01:40:36,111
It's you.
1264
01:40:38,153 --> 01:40:40,319
I'm so proud of you.
1265
01:40:40,360 --> 01:40:43,402
Giving away
all of your money?
1266
01:40:54,943 --> 01:40:56,359
Come on.
1267
01:41:05,108 --> 01:41:08,317
Mama is watching us
from heaven right now.
1268
01:41:10,817 --> 01:41:12,858
What would she do?
1269
01:41:16,691 --> 01:41:20,399
It's for starving
children, Duane.
1270
01:41:22,607 --> 01:41:24,566
Do it for Mom.
1271
01:41:49,564 --> 01:41:51,688
Excuse me,
ladies and gentlemen.
1272
01:41:51,771 --> 01:41:54,188
I'd like to introduce
the real star of tonight's show.
1273
01:41:54,229 --> 01:41:58,146
None of us would be here tonight
if it wasn't for this man.
1274
01:41:58,229 --> 01:42:01,645
He is the man with the plan,
Mr. Donald Sinclair.
1275
01:42:02,728 --> 01:42:03,645
What?
1276
01:42:03,728 --> 01:42:06,478
One of the wealthiest
men in the world!
1277
01:42:08,062 --> 01:42:11,145
- Mr. Donald Sinclair!
- You are the man.
1278
01:42:11,270 --> 01:42:14,769
Get a camera on him. There you go.
Nice shot. There he is.
1279
01:42:16,227 --> 01:42:19,477
These men, they didn't
have to be here tonight.
1280
01:42:19,519 --> 01:42:21,977
No, they could be off
kicking back in the Riviera...
1281
01:42:22,019 --> 01:42:25,518
or in Vegas blowing their money
on some meaningless idiotic bet.
1282
01:42:27,393 --> 01:42:29,310
They couldn't do that...
1283
01:42:29,393 --> 01:42:31,851
not when there were children
going to bed hungry every night.
1284
01:42:31,893 --> 01:42:34,768
Isn't that right, fellas?
1285
01:42:34,851 --> 01:42:36,767
Whatever.
1286
01:42:36,850 --> 01:42:39,475
Mr. Donald Sinclair
and his partners...
1287
01:42:39,559 --> 01:42:42,767
want you and the millions
of people watching at home...
1288
01:42:42,850 --> 01:42:45,809
to know they plan to match
whatever you raise tonight...
1289
01:42:45,892 --> 01:42:47,892
dollar for dollar!
1290
01:42:47,974 --> 01:42:49,724
- Dollar for dollar!
- Dollar for dollar!
1291
01:42:53,058 --> 01:42:54,724
A matching fund, everybody!
1292
01:42:54,808 --> 01:42:57,224
Let's hit the phones
out there and crank it up...
1293
01:42:57,308 --> 01:43:00,098
because we're gonna feed
the whole world tonight!
1294
01:43:01,473 --> 01:43:03,890
Somebody once told me
1295
01:43:03,932 --> 01:43:06,432
The world is gonna roll me
1296
01:43:06,515 --> 01:43:10,307
I ain't the sharpest
toolin the shed
1297
01:43:10,390 --> 01:43:12,806
And she was lookin'
kind of dumb
1298
01:43:12,889 --> 01:43:14,889
With a finger and a thumb
1299
01:43:14,972 --> 01:43:20,139
In the shape of an "L"
on her forehead
1300
01:43:20,264 --> 01:43:22,639
Well, the years start comin'
and they don't stop comin'
1301
01:43:22,681 --> 01:43:24,971
Fed to the rules and
I hit the ground runnin'
1302
01:43:25,013 --> 01:43:27,013
Didn't make sense
not to live for fun
1303
01:43:27,055 --> 01:43:29,513
Your brain gets smart
but your head gets dumb
1304
01:43:29,596 --> 01:43:31,013
So much to do, so much to see
1305
01:43:31,138 --> 01:43:33,805
So what's wrong with
takin' the backstreets
1306
01:43:33,888 --> 01:43:35,720
You'll never know if you don't go
1307
01:43:35,804 --> 01:43:37,970
You'll never shine if you don't glow
1308
01:43:38,054 --> 01:43:40,679
Hey, now, you're an all-star
1309
01:43:40,762 --> 01:43:42,720
Get your game on, go play
1310
01:43:42,804 --> 01:43:47,636
Hey, now, you're a rock star
Get the show on, get paid
1311
01:43:47,719 --> 01:43:50,636
All that glitters is gold
1312
01:43:50,719 --> 01:43:54,761
Only shooting stars
break the mold
1313
01:43:56,303 --> 01:43:58,010
It's a cool place and
they say it gets colder
1314
01:43:58,093 --> 01:44:00,468
You're bundled up now
Wait till you get older
1315
01:44:00,552 --> 01:44:02,427
But the meteor men
beg to differ
1316
01:44:02,510 --> 01:44:04,260
Judgin' by the hole
in the satellite picture
1317
01:44:04,343 --> 01:44:06,510
The ice we skate
is gettin' pretty thin
1318
01:44:06,635 --> 01:44:09,010
The water's gettin' warm
so you might as well swim
1319
01:44:09,052 --> 01:44:11,342
My world's on fire
How about yours
1320
01:44:11,426 --> 01:44:14,342
That's the way I like it
and I'll never get bored
1321
01:44:14,384 --> 01:44:18,342
Hey, now, you're an all-star
Get your game on, go play
1322
01:44:18,426 --> 01:44:22,758
Hey, now, you're a rock star
Get the show on, get paid
1323
01:44:22,800 --> 01:44:26,050
All that glitters is gold
1324
01:44:26,133 --> 01:44:31,883
Only shooting stars
break the mold
1325
01:44:35,090 --> 01:44:37,465
Go to the moon
1326
01:44:38,674 --> 01:44:41,715
Go to the moon
1327
01:44:43,424 --> 01:44:46,089
Go to the moon
1328
01:44:46,173 --> 01:44:49,714
Oh, yeah, go to the moon
1329
01:44:49,798 --> 01:44:53,298
Hey, now, you're an all-star
Get your game on, go play
1330
01:44:53,381 --> 01:44:57,880
Hey, now, you're a rock star
Get the show on, get paid
1331
01:44:57,963 --> 01:45:01,255
All that glitters is gold
1332
01:45:01,297 --> 01:45:04,255
Only shooting stars
1333
01:45:04,297 --> 01:45:08,962
Somebody once asked could
I spare some change for gas
1334
01:45:09,004 --> 01:45:12,962
I need to get myself
away from this place
1335
01:45:13,004 --> 01:45:14,587
I said yep, what a concept
1336
01:45:14,712 --> 01:45:17,129
I could use
a little fuel myself
1337
01:45:17,212 --> 01:45:21,878
And we all could use
a little change
1338
01:45:21,961 --> 01:45:24,628
Well, the years start comin'
and they don't stop comin'
1339
01:45:24,711 --> 01:45:26,086
Fed to the rules and
I hit the ground runnin'
1340
01:45:26,128 --> 01:45:28,503
Didn't make sense
not to live for fun
1341
01:45:28,586 --> 01:45:30,836
Your brain gets smart
but your head gets dumb
1342
01:45:30,919 --> 01:45:32,835
So much to do
So much to see
1343
01:45:32,919 --> 01:45:35,085
So what's wrong with
takin' the backstreets
1344
01:45:35,127 --> 01:45:36,585
You'll never know
if you don't go
1345
01:45:36,627 --> 01:45:39,294
You'll never shine
if you don't glow
1346
01:45:39,335 --> 01:45:43,084
Hey, now, you're an all-star
Get your game on, go play
1347
01:45:43,168 --> 01:45:48,043
Hey, now, you're a rock star
Get the show on, get paid
1348
01:45:48,126 --> 01:45:51,043
All that glitters is gold
1349
01:45:51,168 --> 01:45:56,292
Only shooting stars
break the mold
1350
01:45:56,375 --> 01:45:59,917
All that glitters is gold
1351
01:46:00,000 --> 01:46:06,916
Only shooting stars
break the mold
140828
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