Original subtitles

Subtitles by explosiveskull

[seal barks]

[moose clamoring and laughing]

[Norm] Well, this is exciting. My first bust on a glacier.

Uh, hey, Dad, should I have my crown on for this?

I'm on it.

[sighs]

Don't worry, he'll be fine.

[Grandpa] Try more royal, Norm!

Hey, thanks, Socrates. You're a real prince.

Forgot where I left my crown.

Think it was at the walrus convention.

It was by the hot tub.

And I'm not a prince. I'm a duke.

If the crown doesn't fit, maybe I should quit.

[lemmings chitter]

More royal, eh? Uh, uh...

How's this? King in action! Check me out.

Smooth move, buddy.

Uh-huh, uh, pensive king.

[lemmings moan]

How's this?

Whoa! Look out!

Whoa!

Doh! Ding! Please... Some...

[Norm moans]

What? Huh?

- [yelling] - [screams]

Could you call an osteopath?! Oh!

[squealing]

Go, Quinn, go!

Go, Quinn, go! Go, Quinn, go!

Listen up, guys. You know, I'm Quinn.

This is my bro Chase, and my kid sister, Maria.

Our dad is gonna be named king today, which makes me a prince.

But most importantly,

it means you guys need to treat King Norm with some respect.

- He's not some goof ball... - [Norm shouting]

- sliding around on the ice. - Slow down!

[bears exclaiming]

Yow!

- [clang] - Ow!

Oh, my back.

- You all right, Dad? - [Norm] I'm good!

Never better, kids.

[panting]

Sorry, Reuben.

[chuckles nervously]

Wassup, dudes, dudettes?

Ahh! [thuds]

Agh.

- [clamoring] - [laughing]

[laughs] Not just yet, kids. The ceremony is at Pride Ice in a couple of hours.

Tell your friends free snow cones for everybody, big party.

See? This isn't so hard.

[buzzing]

Afternoon, boys!

Mickey, no cheating, eh?

Lord knows where you hide that extra ace! [laughs]

That's gonna be King of the Arctic?

[laughs] I got more royalty in my cards.

I mean, look, a Dodo bird!

[other reindeers] Hmm?

How long you think his reign will last?

30 seconds, tops.

He's gonna take one step onto Pride Ice and fall on his furry butt.

No, but dude, come on, he's nice!

Yeah, nice to laugh at!

Guys, I'm right here.

[sighs]

[clamoring]

Ladies, gentlemen, and caribou, this is a great moment.

For the first time, we officially recognize

the ascendency of a new King of the Arctic. Norm!

- Yay! Love you, Norm. - [half-hearted clapping]

[cheering]

[laughing]

It is Polar custom to...

[phone ringtone plays]

[giggling]

Can you please turn off your phone!

Sheesh. Have some respect!

Although, whoever's phone that is has good taste.

That song rocks. I got the same ringtone.

Oh, rats, that's my phone, isn't it!

[phone ringing]

Uh, just a sec. I gotta take this.

[clamoring]

- Phone? - Classic Norm.

Olympia, what's up, girl! Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

What? No. No, you didn't!

Olympia just solved a crossword blindfolded!

Do you have to talk to her about it now?

No, no, I guess not. Hold on.

I'm kinda in the middle of something here, Olympia.

Everyone's giving me weird looks.

Wait! The reason I'm calling is because I have huge news.

You ready?

Okay, hold on, I'll put you on speaker.

Everyone, my friend Olympia is on the line.

She's got big news!

[Olympia] We just heard from the mayor.

Norm, you're getting the Key to New York City!

Who, me?

[chuckles] Yes, you! You're the King of the Arctic!

It's the highest honor a dignitary can have.

And since you can talk...

they want to bring you down here again for a ceremony!

I'm so excited to see you again! Talk to you soon!

Hey, everyone, my first order of business as your king...

is to go back to New York City!

Huh? Yay!

Bad idea, dude!

Don't listen to him, Norm. This is a good idea.

You can prove to the humans... and the animals...

that you are a great and true king.

Mom, I think you should tell Dad to stay here.

He's got no business going to New York.

What do you mean, honey?

I'm worried about him.

Is he my dad? Yes.

Do I love him? Yes.

But do I think he'll go to New York without embarrassing himself?

No.

Don't underestimate your father.

He's done this once before, and he can do it again.

He's the King of the Arctic, after all.

He's just not like us.

He's too human, and I'm worried that he's

not the type of king that they're expecting.

They're expecting that!

That! Or That!

But not that.

Oh...

[clamoring]

Bye, honey.

Hey, don't fight with your sister.

Hey, Quinn, I was thinking that as the oldest,

you'd like to see The Big Apple, too. Whadd'ya say?

You want me to come with you?

Sure do. Next time maybe Maria or Chase'll come,

but for now, I figure we need some one-on-one time.

It'll be fun.

Awesome!

[lemmings chitter]

All right, little guys, you stay here and hold down the fort while I'm gone.

[gasp and chitter angrily]

No! I don't want to hear it! I'm gonna have my hands full

without you little fur balls running around.

I'll see you when I get back.

[ship's bell ringing]

Love you! 'Cept you, Mickey.

We'll be back soon!

Peace out, Arctic!

Don't let your meat loaf!

All right, well, we're going to the city that never sleeps,

so maybe we should get some shut eye.

Got a long ride ahead of us.

Don't be nervous. You got this.

[clamoring]

[lemmings squeal]

What the...

Oh, you guys!

- [squealing] Tah-dah! - I said you can't come!

- Oh. - But no, you don't care.

You just want a free ride to New York.

You want to pee in the subway, like everyone else!

Really? You came to support me?

Of course, Dad. They love you.

It's okay, I'll look after you.

Come on, guys.

[ratcheting]

- Oh! - [grunting]

Vera! Olympia!

Oh, I missed you guys!

Come here! Lemme give you a proper bear hug!

[squeezes]

I missed you, too, Norm, but can you let us go?

Hard to breathe in all this fur.

There she is, my little Einstein!

The smartest girl in the whole wide world.

And you must be Quinn!

Yes, yes. Where are my manners?

Guys, this is my son, Quinn.

Quinn, this is Olympia.

She eats rocket scientists for breakfast.

And this right here is Vera.

She took good care of me last time I was here.

Well, I'm impressed, Pop.

It seems like you have some good friends here.

Uh...

- What? - Quinn speaks human, too?

He does!

- I do? - Yes! You do!

He does?

Oh, yeah, he does.

Oh, just a sec. I can't...

Uh, ah! Okay, good, good.

Good! Got it!

Whoa, this place rocks!

And you haven't even seen the best part.

[chittering, moaning]

[Olympia] We got it all for you guys.

Alaskan king crab, salmon, dried seaweed...

This is the prettiest sight these eyes have ever seen!

[both] Mmm!

[laughs] The next thing I know,

I'm sliding on my butt for the whole Arctic to see!

No way!

[snoring, passing gas]

I just want to make sure I'm actually king material.

I've got the entire Arctic counting on me,

and I'm not as graceful as my grandpa, you know?

- [glass breaks] - Ooh!

I see your point,

but you just need to be yourself.

You're a great king because you're not totally perfect.

You're just you. And people like you.

[relieved sigh]

Speaking of people liking you,

you are doing such a great job with Olympia.

She and Quinn sure seem to be hittin' it off.

Hey, here, let's get a picture of the kids sleepin' on the couch together!

I'll get my phone.

Son of a seal! I left my phone up north!

I don't know about this, Maria.

Dad'll kill us if he finds out we were playing with his phone.

Oh, relax.

I just want to see if we can live stream Dad's key ceremony.

I'm nervous he's gonna mess it up!

Well, let's try to track him.

No, lemme see.

We can try and triangulate his coordinates...

by using a combination of a peer-to-peer traffic system...

and the City of New York's own proprietary mapping algorithms.

[coughs] Excuse me. Nerd alert.

Got it!

It's really small.

I have an idea!

[sirens wailing]

[crowd cheering]

Man, if bears could sweat...

that's what I'd be doing now. Sweating.

Ooh.

[chuckles]

- Whoa! - [all coughing]

[sneezing]

Oh, sorry, sensitive nose.

Oh, that's gonna stain.

[both] Yeah!

- Kids? - Oh.

What is going on here?

Why do you have Norm's phone?

Uh... It was Maria! Maria had the phone!

She made me help her! She's out of control, I swear! Help me!

Thanks a lot, narc!

I'm disappointed in both of you.

Your father would not be happy to see that you did this.

But Mom, we only did it so we could watch him and cheer him on.

We're nervous for Dad, and we want him to be okay.

Is this true?

Yeah!

[barking]

Mickey? You too?

Eh, sorta.

I bet my antlers he falls flat on his face walking up the stairs.

Oh...

[chuckles] Hey.

Good afternoon.

[crowd cheering]

Today is a great day.

First off, I'd like to thank our great sponsors,

Far North Water, the purest water there is.

"Water from so far north,

it might as well be from heaven."

Ahh!

As the leader of the greatest human city on Earth,

it only makes sense that I would present to you

someone of similar stature.

I would like to introduce an individual of great honesty,

of great courage, a respected dignitary,

the King of the Arctic!

Folks, you already know him as Norm of the North!

[crowd cheering]

You got this, Norm.

Huh.

[chuckles]

[woman] You must be related to Norm!

Yep. That's my dad.

I'm Mrs. Lieberman.

I'm a big fan of your father.

Look at him up there.

He's cooler than a cucumber, isn't he?

Oh, man, I hate stairs.

Ah...

[creaking]

Okay.

Oh!

That's gotta hurt.

Oh, yes! Pay up, baby!

[growls]

Oh, I mean, oh no, you got this, Norm!

[chuckles]

[grunting] Okay.

Can we...? Oh, you wanna...?

- Okay, so... - All right. Ooh.

[groans]

- Yeah. - Okay.

Norm, you are a true example of leadership and goodness.

You not only saved your kingdom from destruction,

but also inspired us to be as courageous,

as good, and as trustworthy as you.

And as a symbol of our trust in you,

it is my honor to present the Key to the City,

the highest honor we can bestow.

It is a key that opens every single door in the entire city.

Wow, Mayor, this is a great honor.

Don't you worry, I'm gonna guard this thing with my life.

[shutters clicking]

All right now, ladies and gentlemen,

our great friend Norm of the North

is now going to dazzle us with a speech.

Right, Norm?

Uh...

You prepared a speech, didn't ya?

Oh, oh.

Just... Okay.

- A speech, uh... - [microphone feedback]

Don't worry, Norm!

You got this.

Just imagine everyone naked!

Wait a minute.

I'm the only one who's naked!

[laughs]

Sorry about that, everyone.

If I can be honest with you, I'm extremely nervous right now.

He might not be as bad as I thought.

I know I'm not the smartest bear.

I may not be the best looking.

I'm pretty inarticulate. I'm incredibly clumsy.

If you would have told me that one day I'd be representing the Arctic

in New York City, accepting the coolest award ever

from such an amazing mayor,

I would have laughed.

But here I am, representing the Arctic in New York City

accepting the coolest award ever,

and the only thing I can do is laugh.

- [laughs] - Oh.

Okay, I have to admit I'm impressed.

And I wouldn't have been able to do it without my family and my friends.

Quinn, I love you like a son, buddy!

I am your son!

[laughs]

And Vera and Olympia, my very best friends...

I love you like family.

In fact, I love you all like family!

On behalf of the Arctic, I want to thank you for this great honor.

Norm, can I offer you and your entourage a ride home...

in this 40-foot stretch limo?

Tempting. But when in New York, do as the New Yorkers do.

I think we'll walk home.

Suit yourself, Norm. See you later.

Enjoy the Key to the City.

Dad, are you out of your mind?

Turning down a ride with the mayor...

you're the King of the Arctic.

I'm a bear of the people,

And you don't become a bear of the people

by riding around in fancy 40-foot limos.

Hey-hey, thanks! Yeah, sure, bring it in here.

Aw, come on, let's get everybody in.

Yeah! Oh, good. Oh, yeah!

Norm, I'm Mrs. Lieberman.

Would you mind taking a picture?

For you, Mrs. Lieberman, anything!

Say "macaroni!"

Norm! Norm! Norm!

Norm, ol' buddy, ol' pal.

Hey, Larry!

Hey, guys, guys, this is my friend Larry!

You look just like me.

But why do you look like me?

Since your last triumphant trip to The Big Apple

the market for Norm impersonators has skyrocketed!

My career is booming.

I've even got a one-bear play off off-Broadway.

You almost blew my cover!

Well, I'm happy for you. It's an amazing costume.

Norm, I know you're busy.

I just wanted to say I saw your speech and, buddy,

I'm pretty impressed with the king you've become.

[Norm on TV] I'm pretty inarticulate.

- If you would have told me that one day... - Hey, Dad...

it was really cool seeing you with all the people up there today.

I'm really proud to have you as my dad.

- You're a great king. - Thanks, buddy.

[snoring]

Dad! Dad, you gotta see this!

Ahh! I'm up! I'm up!

Dad, you're on every channel!

[yawns] I don't doubt it. They love me here.

No, in a bad way.

There were a bunch of robberies last night,

and the entire city thinks you did it!

- What? This has gotta be a mistake. - What's going on?

Ahem. Is Norm of the North a bank robber?

[angry chittering]

Money has vanished from three banks. We're looking into it.

We're searching cameras around the city.

I want to urge everyone to remain calm until we get to the bottom of this.

Stay calm? How can I stay calm?

I've lost my entire life savings.

I'll lose my house!

Poor Mrs. Lieberman.

This doesn't make sense.

Why would anyone think I did this?

Warning. Norm shouldn't be trusted.

Let's take a closer look.

I can't find the key anywhere!

Come on! Where is it? Where is it?

Someone stole the Key to the City!

Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no, this is bad! This is bad!

Norm is a lot of things, but a crook ain't one of 'em.

He's a big goofy bear with a heart of gold.

Somethin' isn't addin' up.

[both] We have to help!

- He's my dad. - He's my best friend.

Hey, whoa, stop!

Rewind it back, right there, when he's on the stairs!

- That's not my dad! - How can you be so sure?

My dad doesn't do stairs well.

Plus, he's never stolen anything in his life.

See? My dad would've been on his butt after the first step.

Definitely not him.

Good point. So who is it?

Wait a second. What about the Norm look-a-like...

with the mustache who smells like macaroni?

Uncle Larry? No, he'd never do anything to hurt my dad's reputation.

He loves him.

Well, he's the only person I've seen

with a suit that good, so maybe he knows something.

Okay, let's go find him.

Put 'em in.

- For your dad. - For your best friend.

[chittering]

[laughing]

[crying]

Larry, there you are!

What's wrong?

What's wrong? What's wrong?

Uh, I asked you first?

That's what's wrong!

Your dad is public enemy number one!

What happened to your new costume?

You're kidding. I can't wear that thing in public.

I'd get spit on even more!

Anyway, it's at the dry cleaners, and it's going to stay there.

It's at the cleaners? Interesting.

I'll give you the ticket, you can have it.

I know your dad is innocent.

Tell him ol' Larry is firmly on Team Norm!

[squeaking]

Ta!

[continues crying]

The costume is gone!

The dry cleaners was robbed yesterday too,

and someone took the costume.

- Any clues? - Not really.

Security footage just shows a shadowy figure.

Oh, man, we're never gonna solve this!

[passing gas]

Not so fast. Look at this.

11 pm, Lex Bank was robbed.

Two am, SoHo Bank.

And then an hour later, the Christopher Street Bank.

Those are the three biggest banks in the city.

The fourth is the Bank of Chinatown.

Ah-ha! So you think they'll hit that one next?

Yes. And that bank is only a few blocks from the East River

and the Atlantic Ocean. You know what that means?

No, what?

It means that the robber is prepared to make a clean escape!

He's going to rob the bank and sail away scot free!

Well, we can't let that happen.

Let's head to the bank and catch this guy red-handed.

Okay, discretion is key.

We need to be silent, with stealth, and...

- [phone ringtone plays] - Oh.

It's my mom.

You're in big trouble, young lady!

I know, but Mom, I think we cracked the case.

Vera, we know where the robber is gonna hit next!

- First we talked to Lawrence... - Who led us to the dry cleaners...

- Who said the suit was stolen... - But now we're in Chinatown...

At the bank!

Whoa, slow down.

I didn't follow any of that. Stay where you are!

- I'm coming. - We're coming!

Norm, it's too risky. Half the city is looking for you.

Hmm.

Hi, Mom.

Where's my dad?

I'm right here.

Uh! Oh. Wow.

- Norm? - It's just a disguise. Relax.

Can we just focus on the matter at hand, please?

- Yeah. Let's go! - Good idea.

First, I gotta get out of this.

It's a little itchy.

Holy shnikes! He's in there!

[chittering]

[Quinn] He's running away!

I got him!

[cars honking]

It looked like something was beating up the Fake Norm.

What was it?

- Ow! - Hyah!

More robbers, huh?

[grunting]

No, we're trying to stop the robbers.

Just like you, Fong.

Hold up. You know this... thing?

Ow! Cut it out!

[blows raspberry]

Both of you, stop!

This is Fong, the face of the Bank of Chinatown.

I've heard stories. Now I know they're true.

You are a financial wizard.

Meh! It's all in the lucky foot.

Someone is framing Norm of the North for the robberies.

But he's innocent.

- I know this. - How do you know?

Easy.

Robbers' suits have a zipper.

Real bears don't have zippers.

Hey guys, look at this.

[tires squealing]

[honking]

Oh!

[all] Ooh!

[over megaphone] We got you surrounded, Norm!

I can see that.

[all whispering]

Oh, Normie.

Whoa, Quinn, Quinn, there is nothing you can do now.

Fong will help you.

Fong knows Norm is a good bear.

You know, you should be proud of your father.

This Fake Norm robbing banks is a coward,

and to find him, we need to find the money.

The East River.

You guys go there.

I will go save Norm from jail...

and I will take Norm's helpers.

You're done, Norm. You'll never get out of here.

You'll never see your family again.

You'll never see the Arctic again!

Just when you believe that a leader has humanity and goodness,

he goes and does somethin' like this.

You're telling me. I had my life savings in that bank.

I don't know how I'll afford college for my kids now.

[metal squeaks]

Ow.

Lemmings!

Who are you?

I am Fong. I know you have many questions,

but please, do not talk until we get you out of here.

First, I have a very important message from your son, Quinn.

[clears throat]

Pastrami on pretzel bread. No pickles. Extra cheese.

Fries. Diet cola.

Oh, wait, that was my receipt from lunch.

Sorry. Here we are:

"Dad, you've always been a true king..."

"because you're so human. You're kind."

"Oh and P.S., stairs are overrated, and I love you."

[sniffles]

That's enough, guys.

[soundtrack violin playing]

[chittering]

Attention, all police officers.

There are free donuts in the lobby.

I repeat, there are free donuts in the lobby.

That is all.

[officers] Ooh! Hut, hut, hut!

[grunting]

We have Norm. The walrus is beached.

I repeat, the walrus is beached.

[Norm] Hey, really?!

That's great! We have the barge.

Walrus is beached here, too.

[bell dings, tugboat foghorn blows]

Uh... On second thought, the walrus is unbeached.

No beach in sight.

The barge is leaving.

We have to make sure that the money doesn't leave our sight.

How are we going to stop the money from leaving?

I have an idea.

I am rich. I have my ways.

[chuckles]

[chuckles]

[chattering]

- Huh? - [Taser crackling]

Huh.

You guys look familiar.

Fong, you and the lemmings get this boat back to the harbor.

I'll take care of these goons.

Unh!

- Aah! Wha? - You!

You took my money!

- [thud] - Aah!

[both fight-grunting]

Get that stupid bear!

[agreeing chitter]

[whistles]

[grunting]

Aah!

[panting]

[screams]

Uncle! Uncle!

[agreeing chitter]

Whoa!

[squealing]

Whoa!

Oh! Huh?

Aahhh!

[door squeaks open]

[both groan]

Oh... huh?

[lemmings chittering]

Ooh.

Nice work, team. These guys aren't going anywhere.

We retrieved all the money. It's here.

But we still don't know who calls shots for the henchmen.

Who really stole the money?

Let's return the money to the mayor.

He'll know I'm innocent! He'll help us!

Lemmings, turn this boat around!

Mayor Freeman, is it true Norm was proven innocent?

Any idea who the real bank robber is?

Does anyone have a waffle maker?

Patience, everyone. There will be time for questions.

But for now, let's give a big round of applause...

to the heroes of the hour...

Norm of the North and Fong!

C'mon guys, let's get a group pic!

I'm just happy that good folks like Mrs. Lieberman got their money back.

[sneezes]

Sorry, sorry. It's the cologne.

It's an acquired taste, I suppose.

Hey, someone bring us a bag of Fong's money for the picture.

Wouldn't that be nice, Fong?

Oh, of course. I love my money.

Of course you do.

Wait a minute. That bag, it smells like...

That bag smells like the mayor.

The money smells like the mayor!

The mayor smells like the money!

Hmm? Hmm...

Well, I-I don't know what you're talkin' about.

[sniffing]

[curious chatter]

[gasps]

[sneeze]

Hey, this is the Key to the City. My key!

[gasping]

Norm, look up!

The mayor is the bad guy. We have definitive pr-

pr-pr-pr-pr...

ah... ahchooo!!!

Police, stop the mayor!

You heard him, Tony.

Stop him from doin' what?

Oh, yeah, I get it.

Mayor Freeman, you're under arrest.

Me? Under arrest?

Ha ha! I'm the Mayor!

I'm as powerful as a king!

I can do what I want!

That's not what being a king is.

Being a king is the responsibility of knowing what's right and what's wrong.

And to know that if you do something wrong, you apologize for it!

Haven't you learned yet, Norm?

A leader never apologizes.

A leader makes people apologize to him!

- I'm sorry, Mr. Mayor... - See?

No. I meant, I'm sorry...

but you have to go to jail now.

I don't think so. Ha ha!

[gasping]

[scared clamoring]

[evil chuckles]

Huh?

Huh? Huh?

Fong, get as close as you can.

Norm, what are you going to do?

I'm gonna make him apologize to the people.

Huh? [growls]

Geronimo!

[screaming]

[scared chittering]

[grunts]

[warning beeps]

Whoa! [struggling]

Don't look down.

Ahh! Don't look down! Don't look down!

Okay! Okay, yeah! Yeah, that's high!

Whoa!

Oh, you!

Oh!

[nervous chatter]

[scared chatter]

[whimpering]

Get him, Norm!

I won't let you down, Mrs. Lieberman!

[grunts]

[struggling]

You wanna go?

Auto pilot engaged.

Okay Mr. King of the Arctic,

meet The King of the Ring!

[punching grunts]

- Okay! - Are you sure you wanna do this

Mr. Mayor? I outweigh you by like 900 pounds.

[chuckles] [grunting]

You're gonna be locked up for a long time.

But before that, you are going to apologize.

Are you ready to apologize?

[sigh] Never.

Hmm...

[gasping]

[whimpering]

[Norm] How about now? Are you ready to apologize now?

[excited chittering]

It has been revealed that the mayor

was impersonating Norm of the North

in an elaborate scheme to steal money

to fund his presidential campaign.

But in heroic fashion, Norm tracked down the money

and returned it to its rightful owners.

This begs the question, "Should Norm run for mayor?"

Uhh, well...

I don't know what to say.

Well, that's a first.

To the wonderful citizens of New York,

the greatest city on this earth,

[sigh]

I am embarrassed. I am humiliated.

I am...

I deserve this.

And I'm sorry for everything I've done to this great city.

All right boys, take me away.

[chanting] Speech! Speech! Speech!

Norm for President!

I love you, Norm!

[Norm] We will be heading back to the Arctic now.

See you later, New York!

Don't let your meat loaf!

- It was great hanging with you, Olympia. - Agreed.

You're an awesome kid, Quinn. I'm going to miss you.

You guys should come visit us

in the Arctic, meet the rest of the family.

What do you say? Maybe Spring Break?

- Well, I don't see why not... - Count me in!

[chuckles] Love it.

I love it! Sounds like a great plan!

[laughing]

Dad, come out here, we're almost home!

[cheering]

Look, it's Mt. Arcmore!

Your face is done!

[Norm] Wow. I guess it's true.

The ice does add 300 pounds.

Dad, it's the king everyone loves.

All right, lemmings, first day back to work and I feel great!

Looking good, Norm!

Feeling good, Louis!

Congrats on taking down Mayor Freeman!

You made us proud, Norm! Glad to have you back!

[struggle barks]

Ahh!

[panting]

Whoa, hold on!

[grunts]

Ugh! Traffic jam!

Hey, let's go!

I'm gonna be late for lunch.

Sorry, chief. It's been like this all day.

Welcome back, by the way.

Honk! Honk! Honk!

I wonder what's holding everyone up.

This gridlock is really...

Garbage?

Where are the cleaning crews?

Are they on strike? [sighs]

Yeah, you know your brother loves to have a good time.

Leave him unsupervised,

things are obviously gonna get a little messy.

This one's on you, big guy.

I get that it's important to stay hydrated,

but this is a little much.

Where'd these water bottles come from?

I go away for two weeks and this place is falling apart!

Lemmings, take me to Stan.

[phone ringtone plays]

King Norm speaking.

Norm, my friend! How's the Far North?

Because down here, things are great!

Since we revealed Mayor Freeman's plan

and saved people's money,

everyone is moving their money into my bank!

That's great, Fong. You run a great bank.

And it's mostly thanks to you.

You are a true hero and a good bear.

I'm trying to follow in your footsteps

and keep the bank extra safe.

After all,

no one can protect what's valuable to them

like themselves.

[sigh]

I wish the animals up here believed that.

[excited clamoring]

Maria takes the puck across center ice,

her stick handling is awesome.

She fakes left, she fakes right.

[grunts]

Yikes!

[cheering]

You're supposed to try and block it, Uncle Stan,

not let me score!

[laughing]

Easier said than done, kiddo! You are too good!

Hey, big bro!

Stan, you were supposed to be in charge

and you're playing games?

I'm having fun,

for the first time in my life.

Well, no wonder the Arctic's a mess.

Oh sorry, "King Norm".

Sorry I'm not as responsible and kingly as you...

Your Majesty!

Yeah, Dad, we're just having some fun.

Uncle Stan's been teaching me how to shoot!

Oh, and I'm glad he is! You've gotten so good.

Yeah, bro. You're good at being king.

I'm good at playing hockey.

Okay.

And these new sticks are so cool.

I see that. Where'd you get 'em?

From Uncle Stan's friends.

- Stan. - Oh, relax, Norm.

It's just a water company.

They're not moving in, so it's not as bad as it looks.

It looks like they're taking ice away!

Well, then, yeah, it's as bad as it looks.

Hey, you!

Da? Oh!

It's Norm of the North, the famous talking polar bear!

Hey, guys, come see this!

[cheering]

No, that's King Norm to you.

Oh. So, you're not the famous talking polar bear?

- False alarm! - Oh.

What? No, I just mean, I have a title.

I'm the famous bear, but I'm also a king. The King.

And I demand you tell me,

why are you taking our ice, and on whose orders?!

Orders from our Prime Minister.

He runs this company. Look.

[Norm] "Far North Water. The purest water there is."

See, his plan is to get ice

from the farthest reaches of the North,

which would be where we are now,

and then melt it, sell it, and people drink it!

I don't understand.

Oh, well, it's pretty simple actually.

See, ice is just frozen water...

I understand how water works!

I don't understand how you can take our ice.

This is our land.

You can't just come in here and do this.

Well, we made a deal with him.

[nervous chuckle]

We give you this hockey stuff, yes?

And in exchange, we get to drill this ice right here?

Don't worry, ice grows back.

Do we have deal?

Ha ha!

[growling]

Whoa! Let's calm down here, Normie.

They were coming up here no matter what, you know?

Don't worry, "ice grows back!"

We can't let them steal our home.

Can you believe this?

They're stealing our ice!

It's like my first day back on the job

and already there's an emergency.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Back up.

Who's stealing ice?

These guys!

[coughing]

Norm, uh,

I think I've actually seen that brand.

Olympia, honey, see what you can find out

about Far North Water.

Where they get their water.

Oh, honey, click on that commercial.

Let's see what this company is all about.

As Prime Minister of Taknekistan...

it is my job to deliver

my people coldest,

freshest, purest water in world.

That is why we get our H2Os

from the North Poles.

Does not get more purer than that.

Am I right?

Ahh!

Hockey is sport of our national.

And take it from a champion like me,

Benny Voulanov.

And there can be no champion

without water of champion.

Far North.

Yummy.

The people of Taknekistan

clearly love three things:

Water, hockey, and cheesy smiles.

They have similar smiles because Benny Voulanov

is the Prime Minister's brother.

And yes, Taknekistan loves hockey.

They've won the gold medal

in the last ten straight Nation Games.

Well, there has to be some kind of law

against stealing ice, right?

That's what I said!

There actually are laws that prevent

the removal of ice from the Arctic

without approval.

So, what they're doing is technically illegal

since obviously no one gave them permission.

[groan] My brother Stan gave them permission.

Wait a minute, not so fast.

We're in luck.

According to the footnotes of Section 2B, Paragraph 3

of the Addendum to the Arctic Conservation Act

approval must be granted

by a high ranking government official.

Stan isn't high ranking, he's not in the government,

and he's definitely not official.

See Norm, this is great news. No reason to panic.

No, no, no! He is a high ranking government official.

Stan begged me to be in my cabinet

so I threw him a courtesy title of Vice King.

What was I thinking?

I gotta go talk to Socrates.

Oh no! Socrates, stay with me!

- One, two, three, four. - [struggling]

Breathe. One, two, three.

- [gasp] - [deep breath]

[yelp]

Come on buddy! Come on!

Clear!

- [electricity crackles] - Ohh!

What are you doing?

Get off me! I'm meditating!

[crackling]

Meditating? Oh. I assumed death.

Sorry. I'm having a rough day.

I walked up, saw your lifeless bird body

and immediately went to worst case scenario.

I need to tell you about...

The water company is stealing all our ice, and it's Stan's fault.

Exactly!

Wait. How did you know about that?

It doesn't matter. What should I do?

If Stan got you into this mess, then make him get you out of it.

If there's one word that properly describes your brother, it's...

Annoying, stupid, soft, worthless...

Whoa. Sounds like you're the one who needs to meditate.

I was going to say selfish.

Right. Sorry. Yes, Stan is selfish.

Stan believes in nothing but himself.

So you must inspire him to believe in something else

something bigger than himself.

How?

Give him a challenge. Use something he's good at.

Norm, you're the king and he's not...

and that's hard for your brother.

So make him something.

So basically, I need to make my brother a hero?

Exactly!

As always, Socrates has given me sound advice.

I just have to figure out how to put his advice to use.

[Norm's voice] Norm, like I told you...

the only people who can save their home

are those who live in it.

Wow, I must be losing my mind.

I keep hearing Fong in my head.

No, Norm, you butt dialed me again.

- Sorry about that buddy. - Okie-dokie, then.

- [clamoring] - Hey!

- [crowd cheering] - Huh?!

Hot Soup! Ha ha ha!

There can be no champion without water of champion.

Far North.

Yummy.

Water of champions, eh?

- [phone beeps] - [phone buzzes]

Vera! I've got an idea.

Can you get me a televised press conference

with the Prime Minister of Taknekistan?

It might be tough for me to get a hold of the Prime Minister...

but I think I know someone who can.

Fong!

[phone alert chiming]

[ding]

[crowd clamoring]

[static]

[crowd cheers]

As King of the North, and as a bear actually from the North,

my animals would like to challenge your workers to a best-of-three

winner-take-all hockey match.

Ooh!

If we beat you, you leave, for good.

And if you win, you take the ice.

[all gasp]

Hmm?

Are you kidding me?

Okay, King Norm, you are on.

Hockey, after all, is our national pastime!

We will crush you!

Are you out of your mind, Norm!

Play the humans?

We can't play the humans!

Yes, we can. And we can beat them.

This is it.

My bro has gone crazy. My bro is nuts!

Stan, listen to me.

If we are playing for our home, nothing can stop us.

And, I want you to be our coach.

Whadd'ya say, Stan, lead us to victory?

Aw... come here, you!

[laughing]

Listen up, folks.

These are open tryouts for the Arctic All-Stars.

Decisions will be made by yours truly... and yours quickly.

We don't have much time to get a team together to beat the humans,

so please, if you stink... ha ha ha ha!...

- get out! - [all] Huh?

[laughs] Okay, I don't think Stan means it like that.

Yeah, I do.

If you're no good, don't waste my time.

There's nothing more serious than a bunch of different animals

playing hockey together against a bottled water outfit

from down south... nothing!

- [blows whistle] - Aah!

- Aaah! - Huh?

Ohh!

[phone beeping]

Ya-hey!

Huh?

Oh, come on, Rigoberto, not again!

[whimpering]

Oh, yes!

[whistle blows]

Okay, the final roster is as follows.

Mickey, you're in goal.

Oh, yeah!

Who's so lazy he'll never amount to anything now, Mom!

Maria, you're my left-winger.

Seals, you're my defense.

And finally, Lemmings.

Alone, you're tiny, squeaky, and smelly.

But I have to admit it. You're tough.

That's what this game is all about.

Maybe if you stack on top of each other?

Yeah! We can work with that.

Bingo. That's our team.

Ahem! Ahem! Ahem!

Over here. You got a spot for your king, little bro?

Nope. Sorry, sport.

Yeah, Norm, we're trying to win here, not Arctic Shake 'em to death!

[laughter]

Hmm.

Thanks for coming, Fong.

Norm asked us to put together a marketing campaign for the Arctic

get people on their side and excited for the game.

They also need help getting enough equipment and funding.

We've got a few issues.

One, no one on the team speaks human, other than Norm.

Two, they don't fit normal human-sized clothing

so we need to be creative there.

And three, the Arctic economy is a barter system

largely consisting of meat, vegetables, and the occasional tchotchke.

So, in short, it means they're flat broke.

And, that's where I come in.

I am the richest hare in the entire world.

I own over 1,000 bars of gold!

I get a haircut and massage every day.

I fly in my own chef from Beijing

to make my dim sum from scratch.

I sleep on the highest thread count sheets known to man.

Okay, we get it. You're rich.

Rich? No. Very rich!

And I will fund the team.

Okay, that settles that!

I'll get a news crew and book a trip up north!

[cell phone camera clicking]

Quinn!

Great to see you again!

Let me show you my home.

We stocked our fridge for you this time!

I think that is Fong, the wealthiest animal in the world.

Is he backing their team?

I can hear you!

These big ears serve a purpose, you know.

And yes, I am Fong,

and yes, I am backing their team...

and yes, I am the richest animal in the world!

I do not like that little bunny.

[Fong] I'm a hare!

And I can still hear you!

[camera clicks]

Okay, this is perfect.

We'll use this photo for marketing and branding.

We'll make hockey cards, action figures.

This picture will be on cereal boxes.

The sky's the limit!

These mangy beasts have it all.

Marketing. Money.

They even have cheerleaders!

This might not be as easy as I thought.

Da, but boss, they are just silly animal.

We're from Taknekistan!

They also have a star.

His ability scares me. He's too good.

He reminds me of your brother.

Yes. They are similar.

They both only care about themselves.

No "team".

We can use that.

[laughs]

Fong! There you are!

Oh, I missed you!

Norm, I'm very proud of you.

Challenging the humans was a very brave thing to do.

Just be sure to remind your team that they are playing for their home.

So, are you ready for the big day, Norm?

Just be sure to remind the team that they're playing for their home.

Yeah, he knows.

I gave him that little nugget of advice, just before you got here.

And who are you then?

And who are you then? Then?

I asked first, okay?

Socrates, this is Fong, one of my friends from New York.

Fong this is Socrates, he's my advisor.

Yeah, hear that, Fong? I'm his advisor.

Meaning, I advise him on

many, many, many, many matters, yes.

Well, I'm his advisor, too.

Since you know, I'm kind of "the advice guy."

That's kinda like, my thing.

Oh, is it really?

Well, that's odd because I am the advice guy!

- Really? - Really!

- Really! - Really!

Whoa, fellas! Fellas! Relax.

These days I need all the advice I can get

so you can both be my advice guys.

Hmm. [scoffs]

[clamoring]

Okay, little guys. I'll talk to him.

Stan! Can I have a word, please?

Just pumpin' some iron, before the game. Yeah.

What can I do for you, little bro?

You're actually my little brother. I'm older, remember?

I wanted to talk to you about your game.

There's no "I" in team. Or in country, actually.

- And your country is your team. - Hey!

The lemmings have been complaining.

And they don't complain about anything!

If we want to win, you're going to have to pass the puck.

Oh, you're right.

I'm gonna listen to you, but only because

you're the best hockey player in the world.

Oh wait, never mind! That's me! Ha ha ha!

I'm the best hockey player in the world!

Ha ha ha! Ah,

probably best to leave the hockey coaching to me.

Ha ha ha ha!

[chuckles]

The team looks good, Norm.

But I would advise you to help Stan play for his home

instead of himself.

I know, I just talked to him about it, but he didn't like it.

Norm, I want to talk to you about your brother.

He's not a team player.

He needs to play for his home, instead of himself.

He knows. I just told him.

Oh, of course you did! Ugh!

Okay. Don't forget, during the game tomorrow

when in doubt, pass me the puck.

Okay guys, let's break up into groups and work on our passing.

Visualize passing the puck...

to me!

Psst! Hey, bear.

- You know who this is, right? - Uh-huh.

Benny Voulanov is a household name, thanks to all of his endorsements.

Would you like to be just as famous?

Uh-huh.

Da. Then meet me over by the ship in five minutes.

On second thought, guys, I think that's enough for tonight.

Well, we don't want to burn ourselves out for tomorrow.

Everyone can go home.

Stan will come around.

He's just excited that he's good.

I think you're right.

I know my brother.

He always ends up doing the right thing.

Dad, look at this!

Norm, Your brother's in a Far North commercial!

That is why we get our H2Os from North Poles.

Does not get more pure than this.

Am I right?

Ah!

So much delicious.

Ha ha ha! Hey!

What the...?

[chatter]

[cameras click]

I'm a star. I'm a star.

I'm a star. I'm a star.

I'm a big, bright, shining star.

Welcome to the Frozen Pond for the first ever hockey game

between animals and humans,

the first in a best-of-three series!

The Arctic All-Stars, led by the king's kid brother, Stan,

against the fearsome workers from Taknekistan!

Hello and welcome, folks.

I'm Jim Caribou, and this is my colleague, Rick.

It's animals versus humans in what people are calling...

They're callin' it, uh...

What happened to the cue cards?

Oh, no... What are we gonna do, Jim?

We'll do it live, Rick! We'll do it live!

Doin'er live, Jim! Doin'er live!

What did that Caribou just say?

I'm pretty sure he just said...

[roaring]

[crowd cheering]

Whoo-hoo!

Ha ha ha!

Yeah!

Yeah.

[Human team chanting] We love hockey!

We love hockey!

We love hockey!

We love hockey!

What is this? We agreed to play

your workers, not your National team.

This is rigged!

Oh, Norm, you see, the thing is,

my company employs all of these players.

They are on contract with Far North Water.

Did I not mention that?

[laughing]

Oops.

[sighs]

Well, this wasn't part of the plan,

- but, uh, we got this. - Huh?

[both grunting]

That's it. I'm out. We're gonna get crushed.

[all protest]

I can't stop these guys. They're big.

They're angry. They're Taknekians.

Guys! Guys! Have some faith!

All we have to do is...

Count on me. I got this, bro.

[whistle blows]

I'm open, Uncle Stan. I'm open!

Relax. I got this!

- [thudding] - Whoa!

[commentator] Oh! He got kicked do hard

it untied his skates.

Heh... Ahh.

Top shelf where Mama hides the tundra cookies!

I knew she did, Jim.

We love hockey!

We love hockey!

Hey, cap, look for Maria. She's open on the wing.

Until you can stop a single shot,

why don't you let me handle the strategy there, Mick.

[whistle blows]

[Jim] Stan passes it to... Oh no. Hold on.

Nope, he's not passing it to anyone.

Interesting strategy here from the king's brother there, Jim.

Holding onto the puck until it gets taken away.

Interesting stuff.

[horn blows]

Arggh.

Ha ha ha hey!

Hmph.

[horn blows repeatedly]

[whistle blows]

We love hockey! We love hockey! We love...

Dad, he didn't pass the puck once!

Why should I pass if I'm the best player?

[lemmings chitter]

Exactly! It's a team!

[all arguing]

That's enough!

If Uncle Stan doesn't start

letting other people play with him,

then I'm gonna quit.

Me, too.

Stan, let the others play as well.

This isn't about you. It's about our home.

Oh, now The Great King Norm is taking over hockey too, huh?

You couldn't let me have this one, could you?

Everything has to be about you!

What are you talking about?

This is the first time in my life

I've been the best at something!

The first time in my life I've had my own thing!

You ran the shows for tourists for years

and loved every minute of it!

That's not the point!

Then what is, Stan?!

[all gasp]

You're the king, the great hero.

"Oh, look at Norm. He's amazing!"

Well, I'm amazing at hockey, so deal with it!

We're gonna lose our home if you don't do something, Dad.

You heard him, he refuses to play with the other animals.

And he seems to be really mad at me.

I don't want to lose my brother.

Well, you can't lose your home either, Norm.

The rest of the Arctic depends on you, not just Stan.

You're right. We need a new coach,

but I don't know anything about the sport!

Norm, I thought you'd never ask.

- I would be honored to ...- - Okay, okay.

I will coach the team.

You will? Fong, you're a lifesaver!

You know everything about hockey!

Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you!

Well. I guess I'll just go pluck myself.

[Stan] You wanted to see me?

Stan, I know you're upset right now.

And I'm sorry if I ever did anything to make you feel... less than me.

It's funny. I spent most of my life jealous of you.

Really?

Well, you were Dad's favorite.

You did the big shows, you didn't speak human.

Point is, I know what it's like to feel like you don't belong...

or you're not good enough.

But you are good enough.

You're the best I've ever seen out there on the ice.

But you can't be coach anymore. Please understand.

You need to learn to play for our home,

and the team needs someone else to guide them.

I'm fired?

Only from coaching.

We all still want you to play. Okay?

This is a big mistake. You'll see!

Stan is no longer coach.

Thank goodness.

'Bout time.

May I present the new coach, the Hockey Hare, Fong!

Thank you, King Norm.

Players, I have a simple philosophy.

This is your home.

You all live here and together you will fight for it!

[all] Yeah.

So, pass often, put the puck in the net,

and let's win this thing!

Yeah!!

That was just on the tip of my beak, actually.

No deal!

Why should the good player share with the bad players?

That is stupid.

Then you will not play.

You will sit on the bench.

Wait! Fong...

Excuse me? I'm the best!

There is no room for a showboat or puck hog on my team...

only players willing to pass.

Quinn, you are up!

Hmph!

Well, Rick, Game Two, and the atmosphere is electric!

I don't know, she looks dead calm to me, there, Jim.

You're facing the wrong way, Rick. Turn around.

Turning around now, Jim.

- Yay! - [chuckling]

Their best player is not playing,

so this should be easy.

Let's shred them like cabbage in borscht!

[Jim] Maria passes over to one of the seals.

The seal to, uh, his seal partner.

Yeah man, these seals really need names there, Jim.

[crowd cheers]

Hmm.

Argh!

[grunts]

Ow!

[blows whistle]

- [crowd cheers] - [horn blows]

[whistle blowing]

Huh?

Yesterday, this team was divided.

Today, they are united.

I don't like this.

We must stop them.

We are bringing in the National team.

But boss, this is our national team, no?

The real national team, the ones that won us all the medals.

There is no other option.

Whoo-hoo! We are one game away.

We can do this. We can defeat these guys.

Remember what we are playing for!

[all] Our home!

That was my advice.

I have something I need to say.

I was selfish. I was stupid.

And I almost ruined it for everyone.

But you guys bailed me out.

I lost sight of what's important.

I thought sponsorships are what makes a bear great.

I started blow-drying my fur, for Pete's sake!

But I was wrong.

That's why I'm turning down my sponsorships!

[happily clamoring]

All in favor for Stan playing in the game tomorrow, say aye.

[all] Aye!

Thank you!

Now, I think we all know what we need to do:

Save our home!

[all cheer]

I'm all for saving our home, guys,

but we don't have a goalie! I hurt my hoof!

Well, I nominate the toughest, coolest, bravest,

most royalest, regalest, kingly-est bear I know.

Uh... who?

You, Norm!

But I'm no athlete, Stan. You know that!

Norm, those who live in the Arctic

need to be the ones who fight for our home.

There's no one better to fight for it than you... our king!

I see what you did there, brother.

You used my words against me.

Wow.

But I guess you're right. Okay, I'm in!

[all cheering]

[Jim] Game Three here, Rick, for all the marbles!

[Rick] And for control of the Arctic there, Jim.

That's what I meant, Rick.

[all] Benny Voulanov!

We will crush you.

N-Not if we crush you first.

I'm sorry, I don't speak... Bear.

[whistle blows]

Uhh! Ahh!

Ahhh!

[all groan]

Grrr!

Uhh!

- [horn blows] - [Jim] Oh! That's another biscuit

in the basket for Taknekistan.

You, seal, pass it to the... other seal.

No, not that seal.

Y'know, you seals really need names.

- Huh? - Hahh!

[horn blows]

Hmm. Something's not right here.

- [electricity crackles] - I knew it!

Lemmings, over here!

- [whispering] - [lemmings chitter]

Well, folks, it's the end of the second period

and it looks like Taknekistan has regained their mojo.

They lead the Arctic All-Stars three to nothin'.

One more period until they're the rightful owners of this big chunk of ice.

Or, should we say, big chunk

of soon-to-be drinkin' water there, Jim!

- No Rick, just say "ice". - "Ice" it is, Jim!

[panting]

It's not over yet, guys.

Just remember, if I can change,

then you can change... everyone can change!

[all] Yeah!

But first, I need to sit down for a sec

and catch my breath.

Dad! Dad!

The other team is robotic!

Now son, that's a crude, outdated stereotype.

Sure, these guys are severe,

they don't show their emotions like us animals do,

but they have feelings somewhere....under there.

No, I mean literally, they're robots!

And I think we can use the lemmings to expose them!

Hmm.

Okay, it's worth a shot. Let's do it.

[chittering]

[electricity crackling loudly]

- [crowd roars] - Huh?

Ow! You bit me, you rodent!

[blows raspberry]

Voulanov, it's just like I thought.

Your team is fake!

[all gasp]

It is small technicality.

You animals would never be beating us, no matter what.

- Oh yeah? - Oh yeah.

Three on three. Right now.

Me, my brother, and my daughter

against you, your brother, and...

that guy!

Who, me?

You want to play me and Benny?

Ha! You are on!

Maybe this was a mistake. I stink at hockey.

Even Rigoberto would've been better than me.

Don't worry, Dad, Uncle Stan and I got this.

We play well together now. Right, Uncle Stan?

Bingo!

Norm, I am your brother, and you're my brother.

We're a small band of brothers.

We have brotherly love.

And we're gonna brother so hard right now,

we're gonna save the Arctic!

Yeah, brother! Let's go get 'em!

[whistle blows]

I want a clean game out of you guys, ya hear me?

No funny business.

First goal wins the Arctic.

Ready? Go!

- [grunts] - [all gasp]

Ha ha ha!

Waaah!

[Jim] Norm, Norm, bringin' the storm!

Bleaahh!

- [Jim] She shoots, she scores! - [horn blows]

[all cheering]

[laughing]

[Jim] Well, shave my face with a rusty razor!

I sure could use a hamburger right now, Jim!

No! No!

How could this happen?

I do not understand!

I... am not surprised.

What is that supposed to mean?

Those animals were fighting for their home...

they, themselves... no one else.

They deserved this win.

I will be challenging you to a rematching!

Actually, I just got word from the Nation Games Commissioner

you won't be challenging anyone to a rematch anytime soon.

Because of your cheating, the nation of Taknekistan

will be stripped of all their medals

and banned from The Nation Games for five years!

We love hockey! We love hockey!

You give good advice, Fong.

I respect you.

Thank you for helping us save the Arctic.

No-no, you give good advice Socrates.

I will take advice from you anytime.

[chanting] We love hockey! We love hockey!

We love hockey!

[Jim] She shoots, she scores!

We love hockey!

Wow, it's gonna take these workers days to replace all this ice

and clean up all the machines.

I have an idea.

[device beeping]

Just reprogram them. You can thank me later.

[gulps]

Congratulations, Norm. You did it. You saved your home!

Ahem! Excuse me. What am I, chopped liver?

Huh? Sorry, I don't speak bear.

- He wants some credit. - [laughs]

Okay, you too, Stan. You saved the Arctic, too.

[laughing]

That's more like it!

[all laughing]

Subtitles by explosiveskull

[orchestral music playing]

[music ends]