Original subtitles

The life and death of Lady Jane Malory.

SIGHS

PUPILS CHATTER IN BACKGROUND

Hey, Darrell.

Look what my brother sent me.

"Enjoy, but don't be greedy."

Candy! Who'd like one?

ALL SHOUT: No!

What?

They'll be trick sweets like last term.

And I could taste soap in my mouth for a week.

Don't be such babies. Mary-Lou, give them a try.

No, thank you very much.

I'll try one.

At least someone here is not a complete chicken.

Maybe just...this little one.

GAGS AND SPLUTTERS

GIRLS CLAMOUR

I told you!

Is she choking?

What do we do? Somebody help her. Is she OK?

Only joking!

It's vicious. Wicked. Cruel.

See? Fortune favours the bold. Who's next?

Well, if they're really not trick sweets, perhaps I'll try one.

Just look at the size of these cherry slices.

Don't be such a greedy guts, Mary-Lou!

Gwen, your teeth!

GIGGLING

GWEN SQUEALS

I'm sure it will brush out. You don't need to look so "blue"!

What is all this noise?

GIGGLING STOPS

Sweets?

I'll be confiscating those, thank you very much.

GIRLS PROTEST

You'll get them back at the end of term.

Right, bed, quickly, please.

CLEARS THROAT

FRANTIC BRUSHING OF TEETH

Ugh, this will never come off!

OTHERS GIGGLE

MUSIC PLAYS

Ooh.

SIGHS HEAVILY

So, on that dark, misty night,

Lady Jane crept out of Malory Towers to elope with her love...

The highwayman, Fast Jack! Don't interrupt!

From his window, her father saw Jack help Jane on to his horse,

and he followed. Did he catch them?

Worse!

He chased them, galloping, scared.

Their horse lost its way... IMITATES CANTER WITH HANDS

And Jane's father heard the sound of the hoof beats stop!

SILENCE

OWL HOOTS

Then, a bloodcurdling scream

as they plummeted over the cliff

to their watery graves.

How awful.

At least they died together.

I meant for the horse.

Now, Lady Jane's tragic ghost wanders the halls.

Some girls say they've felt her frozen hands

clutching their shoulders,

desperate to be saved from the icy depths.

Boo! SQUEALING

GIGGLING

You lot, stop your chatting

and get back into your own beds or I'll go fetch Matron. Aww.

Goodnight. Goodnight, all.

CHILDREN SQUEAL PLAYFULLY

INDISTINCT CHATTER

SQUEALS

This is all our fault.

We made fun of the ghost and now she's sent us a sign!

What do you think she wants?

Maybe to wash her hands?

GIGGLING

Don't touch it!

It's just strawberry jam.

Your handiwork, I presume.

I had nothing to do with it.

Told you - strange things happen at Malory Towers!

Well, whoever it was needs to jolly well clean it up.

Sally? Come on.

Wasn't me.

Oh, it says here that, in this very garden,

domestic servants of Malory Towers

not only aired their laundry but folded it, too.

Fascinating, isn't it?

Not really, Mary-Lou.

No. I don't suppose it is.

Anyone seen Alicia? I'm supposed to go swimming with her.

No sign of her since lunch.

She'll have to miss this one, I guess.

I say, you two have become rather chummy.

GULLS CRY

SCHOOL BELL RINGS

Yeah, my brothers are pretty smart.

Come along, girls, allez! You don't want to be late for your lesson.

Mam'zelle Rougier - her classes are so boring.

Wait, I...I know something we can do

but I'm going to need your help. Go on.

Today, we are going to learn something

that I think you will find quite interesting -

the reflexive pronoun.

Now, open your books to chapter four.

THUD

Darrell Rivers, what are you doing?

You said to throw our books on the floor.

I most certainly did not.

Darrell's been given drops for an ear infection, Mam'zelle,

so you'll have to speak up.

Darrell, is this true?

Darrell!

Darrell!

If I speak this loud, can you 'ear?

No, I'm not allowed to drink beer.

GIGGLING

Not beer, hear! Hear.

GIGGLING CONTINUES Oh, that's enough, now.

Girls, you forget yourselves. This is quite enough of this giddiness.

Jean, do you think this is funny?

Silence!

Mary-Lou, please!

Hairy blue cheese?

GIGGLING

Silence, maintenant, silence!

Er-hem! What's happening in here?

Is there a reason for all this noise?

I'm sorry, Miss Potts. The girls are quite giddy this morning.

Darrell Rivers says she can't hear.

Perhaps if you sat at the front of the class

it wouldn't be such a problem.

MUSIC PLAYS

Mm.

Ah, Matron!

I'm afraid I have quite a big favour to ask.

The model for the first-form life-drawing class has taken ill.

Would you have any objection to posing?

You are too kind, Matron, too kind. We are lucky to have you.

SCHOOL BELL RINGS

Bien, class dismissed.

I nearly collapsed when you said you couldn't drink beer.

It was too much.

It's great to have another fun girl in North Tower.

I'll save you a seat in art. I'll be right behind you.

Little Miss Popular!

But do you really think Alicia's going to be

best friends with a girl like you?

I do hope you're not jealous.

Because the last thing you need

is green eyes to go with those blue teeth.

SHE HUFFS INDIGNANTLY

SOOTHING BACKGROUND MUSIC

YAWNS LOUDLY

Very good, girls. Pencils down - your hour is up.

Let's have a show of appreciation for our Valkyrie shieldmaiden.

SCATTERED APPLAUSE

Thanks, Matron. Thank you so much, Matron. Thank you, Matron.

MATRON GRUNTS

That was too funny.

Looks like Gwen isn't the only greedy one around here.

We have to tell the others about this. Come on.

The girls in West Tower are going to be in fits!

KNOCKING AT DOOR

SHE SPITS

One moment, please!

RADIO IN BACKGROUND

Yes? Sorry to call on you so late, but I wanted you to have that.

It's bicarbonate of soda to get the blue stain out of your teeth.

Oh.

But I'm afraid those horrid girls played the same mean trick on me.

They're always picking on me.

Oh, you poor thing. Which girls?

Well...I'm not one to tattle, but...

INAUDIBLE CONVERSATION

DOOR OPENS QUIETLY

WIND GUSTS, WINDOWS CLATTER

WIND HOWLS, WINDOWS THUD

CLOSES WINDOW

CREAKING

SLAMS

RATTLING

RATTLES VIOLENTLY

Lady Jane?

BANGING AND CLATTERING

Irene?

Irene! What are you doing?

Irene!

Irene? Irene!

It wasn't the ghost, was it? It was Irene sleepwalking.

Sleep-eating!

Well, it actually explains why I'm never hungry in the morning.

And why I sometimes find jam in my hair.

You should tell Matron. My father's a doctor,

he says sleepwalking's a serious matter.

Darrell's right. Come on, Irene, let's go see Matron.

Darrell, we could have got into all kinds of mischief tonight

and blamed it on Irene's sleepwalking.

You don't really mean that, do you? Of course I do.

Now, what are you doing at break?

I was thinking we could finally squeeze that swim in.

I'd love to, but I have to finish the project for Miss Potts.

Every time I check it, I find more mistakes.

Potty's the teacher - it's her job to find mistakes, not yours.

Come on, I owe you a swim.

We'll go straight after history

and you can hand in Miss Potts's essay on the way.

THEY LAUGH PLAYFULLY

What are you doing? Hurry up, we're going to be late!

What? I can't hear you, I've got water in my ears -

they're completely blocked.

ALICIA LAUGHS

It's not funny! It's funnier than you could possibly imagine.

Guess who we have next class.

CLASS CHATTERS, STOPS ABRUPTLY

Bonjour.

MUFFLED SOUNDS

Darrell Rivers.

Darrell Rivers.

Darrell Rivers - were you not told to sit in the front of the class?

Sorry, Mam'zelle, did you say something?

I'm afraid I can't hear a thing - my ears are blocked.

GIGGLING

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.

I will have no shame on me. But, Mam'zelle, it's true. Tell her!

You must believe me.

Of course! Poor Darrell Rivers.

But if there is something wrong with your ear,

we must call Matron.

I'm sure she would love to poke around in that little head of yours.

No, Mam'zelle.

Are you sure?

Because I can have Matron here... just like that.

Er, oui? Terribly sorry, Mrs...Rogers.

Mam'zelle Rougier.

Can I borrow Darrell Rivers and Alicia Johns, please?

Please, Matron, they are all yours.

"Mer-see bel-coom".

Matron, where are we going? You'll see.

Stop playing with your ears, girl! Do you hear me?

Er, yes, yes, I do.

My ears have cleared.

Yes, Matron, I hear you. Good. Then hear this.

I know it was you two who were behind those trick sweets.

Did you really think you were going to get away with it?

Us? Whoever told you that?

That's none of your business!

Well, we'll see how funny it is

when you're explaining yourselves to Miss Grayling.

BOTH: Gwen!

We're sorry, Matron, we hope we don't get you into too much trouble.

You? Get me into trouble?

Why would I be in trouble?

Well, Miss Grayling will know that you took a sweet for yourself.

I mean, how else would you know that they were trick sweets?

Darrell! How could you even say such a thing?

Matron would never take a sweet.

She knows better than anyone that confiscated items

are private property and to be returned by the end of term.

It's in the school rules.

Isn't that right, Matron? Yes, of course.

I do not need you to tell me the rules.

And besides, do her teeth look blue to you? Not at all.

Although... Yes! Well...

CLEARS THROAT ..I think I've made my point.

I am going to let you off with a warning this time.

Now, out of my sight, the pair of you, before I change my mind.

GIGGLES

You know what, you and I are going to become the best of friends.

Betty!

You're back! How was your trip to Tasmania?

I missed you!

We got those blue candies, and we fooled Matron!

How was your holidays?

Darrell, I've just been marking the history projects.

I think you and I need to have a chat.

We'll have so much fun tricking these first-form girls

now that you're here.

I imagine you're as disappointed as I am.

But...I really tried.

Did you? I'm not so sure.

From what I hear, you're more interested

in making mischief with Alicia Johns than in your schoolwork.

What would your father think if he knew

how you were spending your time at Malory Towers?

I-I work just as hard as the top girls,

really, I do, but it doesn't seem to make a difference.

I can hear your voice in there, Darrell.

You have so much to say.

You have buckets of potential,

but you must put in the work.

The best Malory Towers girls aren't always those who find it easy,

but those who give all they've got.

Off you go.

Girls were much better behaved in our day. Mm.

Would you believe it,

only earlier today, I was accused of eating confiscated sweets. Mm.

Me? Huh!

I said, "Excuse me, items on the confiscation shelf

"are private property,

"and the swiping of said sweets

"would be a violation of school rules."

Well, that shut them up.

Good afternoon.

Well, as we're still waiting for a few people,

Matron, may I speak with you for a moment? Of course.

CLEARS HER THROAT

I've been giving some thought to Irene's sleepwalking.

Ah, yes. In my book, it's an accident waiting to happen.

I couldn't agree more,

and I believe I've come up with a rather elegant solution.

Although it does mean me asking for one more little favour.

MATRON SIGHS HEAVILY

Oh.

I'll sleep well tonight, now that I know you're the ghost.

Please stop calling me that.

Anyway, me sleepwalking doesn't rule out

a ghost roaming in the corridors too.

I hadn't thought of that.

There's no such thing as ghosts.

How can you be so sure, Sally?

Ghost of Lady Jane Malory!

If you're here, make yourself known.

RATTLING AND CREAKING ECHO OMINOUSLY

CREAKING

Miss Grayling and I have come to the decision

that, until Irene's sleepwalking is under control,

I'll be staying in here with you.

At least it wasn't the ghost.

No. It's much worse!

Get...in...bed!

Now!

DOOR CLOSES

GENTLE SNORING

MATRON SNORTS AND SNORES

WHISPERS: Irene! Irene!

LOUD BUMP

Great. But, if you're here, who is it over...?

IRENE HUMS

ECHOEY WHISPERS