All language subtitles for Evil xx

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch Download
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:12,462 --> 00:01:14,475 The earth really did move then! 2 00:01:14,948 --> 00:01:18,523 - You felt that too? - You better get used to it, with me around, baby. 3 00:01:19,514 --> 00:01:21,714 There must have been something... 4 00:01:22,418 --> 00:01:25,807 - My brothers says this place is cursed. - By sisters? 5 00:01:26,889 --> 00:01:30,711 If they catch me stoned, and screwing with a mainlander, there'll be trouble. 6 00:01:34,438 --> 00:01:36,679 Did you hear something? 7 00:01:37,020 --> 00:01:41,499 - Oh, shit, it could be them. - Chill, relax baby. 8 00:01:41,519 --> 00:01:41,519 - I'd better go. - Come back, baby! 9 00:01:41,539 --> 00:01:45,753 Oh look, I'd better go. You really don't want to meet my brothers 10 00:01:45,773 --> 00:01:49,096 - Come back baby. Don't bail on me. - I'm sorry. 11 00:01:52,574 --> 00:01:54,677 Cripe! Fucking lightweight. 12 00:02:08,436 --> 00:02:12,032 Very funny, Cat. Real scary. 13 00:02:14,407 --> 00:02:17,572 Come on, baby. Why don't you come back. 14 00:02:17,711 --> 00:02:21,833 Let's have some more fun. I can make the earth move for you again... 15 00:02:36,582 --> 00:02:38,654 Oh, bollocks..! 16 00:02:49,442 --> 00:02:52,493 What sort of fucked up country shit is this? 17 00:02:57,147 --> 00:03:02,061 Is this your famous brothers idea of a joke, Cat? Cos it ain't funny! 18 00:03:02,231 --> 00:03:03,865 It ain't funny at all. 19 00:03:09,768 --> 00:03:12,145 Oh no, mate. What are you doing? 20 00:03:13,696 --> 00:03:15,777 You don't have to do that, honestly. 21 00:03:15,797 --> 00:03:17,467 God, God, can we talk about it? 22 00:03:17,487 --> 00:03:19,314 Honestly... God... You don't need to do that! 23 00:03:19,334 --> 00:03:20,296 Away with it! 24 00:03:20,316 --> 00:03:22,330 Please, wait...wait! 25 00:03:55,194 --> 00:03:57,660 Until the government admits what they really know, 26 00:03:57,680 --> 00:04:01,439 we'll keep crusading to uncover the truth on your behalf. 27 00:04:01,963 --> 00:04:03,506 So keep an open mind 28 00:04:03,526 --> 00:04:05,291 and your cameras ever handy. 29 00:04:09,722 --> 00:04:12,764 - What the fuck is that?! - What the hell? 30 00:04:17,179 --> 00:04:18,700 Where's my camera? 31 00:04:20,973 --> 00:04:25,342 No, no, yeah, we saw it, we saw it... It was awesome. It was like a mother ship... 32 00:04:25,362 --> 00:04:29,435 It was coming down from the sky. And it sounded "wo-wo-wo". 33 00:04:32,058 --> 00:04:37,853 Well, there's some pretty compelling evidence, proving further, that we, are not alone. 34 00:04:38,339 --> 00:04:41,856 For Weird Worlde. I'm Michelle Fox. 35 00:04:42,075 --> 00:04:44,779 Good night, stay strange and... 36 00:04:45,191 --> 00:04:47,610 ...keep watching the skies. 37 00:04:49,244 --> 00:04:52,721 - What is it, Howard? - I got last months figures here. 38 00:04:52,846 --> 00:04:55,807 Did our audience suddenly all die in a plane crash? 39 00:04:56,000 --> 00:04:57,925 - We do all right.. - Do all right? 40 00:04:58,056 --> 00:04:59,836 What are you, high on life? 41 00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:03,312 I mean the Mormon Shopping Channel gets more viewers than this. 42 00:05:03,332 --> 00:05:05,900 Listen, Michelle, either you deliver something special, 43 00:05:05,920 --> 00:05:09,506 - or I replace you with someone who can. - OK, I get it! 44 00:05:09,637 --> 00:05:12,379 and hey, I didn't say I didn't have any ideas! 45 00:05:13,515 --> 00:05:16,535 ...right...ahem...no...no... 46 00:05:16,714 --> 00:05:21,682 OK, how about this? I've got a very strong lead on a recent alien abductee. 47 00:05:22,971 --> 00:05:26,976 Abduction is hardly original, is it? What's your angle on that then? 48 00:05:29,074 --> 00:05:34,399 Picture a backwater Welsh farmer's daughter. Here's the facts. 49 00:05:34,564 --> 00:05:36,816 She's young, she's sexy. 50 00:05:37,024 --> 00:05:40,573 She's abducted and now she's suddenly pregnant. 51 00:05:41,131 --> 00:05:47,055 Here's the kicker though: She claimed that this all happened just one week ago. 52 00:05:48,128 --> 00:05:51,293 - Look at the size of her stomach. - Who's the father? 53 00:05:51,762 --> 00:05:53,518 Please tell me it's E.T! 54 00:05:55,546 --> 00:06:01,451 I like it! Contact her, tell her you'll be over, and this is what we'll do. 55 00:06:01,683 --> 00:06:03,908 That camera-man you like so much... 56 00:06:04,901 --> 00:06:05,811 We're late. 57 00:06:05,831 --> 00:06:07,487 - ...what's his name? - Ricky. 58 00:06:07,617 --> 00:06:09,964 Right! Let's shoot this fucker. 59 00:06:10,125 --> 00:06:11,730 Yeah, he's cheap. 60 00:06:11,750 --> 00:06:15,502 - Does he come with crew? - Well, he's got his sound-man mate, Jack. 61 00:06:15,522 --> 00:06:18,966 Marking. Scene 666. Take 1. 62 00:06:22,894 --> 00:06:25,672 - Action! - Die, motherfuckers! 63 00:06:28,436 --> 00:06:29,356 Fuck! 64 00:06:29,971 --> 00:06:33,360 Sounds perfect, that's your crew covered. 65 00:06:33,380 --> 00:06:36,448 Now, what have you got in the way of experts? 66 00:06:40,701 --> 00:06:45,768 There is this one guy, he keeps emailing the show with these ridiculously pedantic corrections. 67 00:06:46,370 --> 00:06:50,051 - I said "experts". - Oh, he is, complete anorak. 68 00:06:50,266 --> 00:06:52,259 Head of B.U.R.C., don't ya know. 69 00:06:52,279 --> 00:06:56,165 Plus, urban nerd like that... I reckon he'll do it for free. 70 00:06:57,288 --> 00:07:01,226 Also, I want to see a reconstruction. Beef it up a bit. 71 00:07:01,262 --> 00:07:04,483 Get some actor who can play the alien and the boyfriend. 72 00:07:04,787 --> 00:07:08,816 My kingdom for a Babylonian whore, baby! 73 00:07:09,820 --> 00:07:11,336 Get someone good. 74 00:07:14,647 --> 00:07:16,820 Yeah, what about the girl? 75 00:07:20,037 --> 00:07:23,230 Ah, let me guess? Candy? 76 00:07:24,028 --> 00:07:25,201 Oh, yeah! 77 00:07:26,333 --> 00:07:29,363 To Howard: "You bad bad boy!" Love, Candy. 78 00:07:29,663 --> 00:07:34,271 We use her because she's good. Not because she's my girlfriend. 79 00:07:34,718 --> 00:07:35,991 Oh, and Foxy... 80 00:07:36,238 --> 00:07:38,855 For Christ's sake, make it sexy! 81 00:08:01,209 --> 00:08:02,759 Come on, inflato-boy. 82 00:08:02,779 --> 00:08:03,767 Listen. 83 00:08:05,046 --> 00:08:09,518 On location shoots that involve long drives, comfort is king. 84 00:08:09,571 --> 00:08:10,926 Don't be so embarrassed. 85 00:08:10,946 --> 00:08:14,835 Plenty of people suffer from 4 minute miles. They got creams for it nowadays. 86 00:08:14,867 --> 00:08:18,985 So why couldn't this fucking playstation be picked up in London, like everybody else? 87 00:08:19,142 --> 00:08:21,330 Well, he's doing some important research. 88 00:08:21,433 --> 00:08:23,485 I don't know, the guy's a nut! 89 00:08:31,083 --> 00:08:33,779 Oh, dear, what've we got ourselves into? 90 00:08:41,786 --> 00:08:43,630 You all right there, Mr. Gorman? 91 00:08:44,870 --> 00:08:46,913 - Michelle Fox! - Hi. 92 00:08:47,016 --> 00:08:49,145 Weird Worlde? Oh, oh, my God! 93 00:08:50,884 --> 00:08:55,513 - It's a real privilege to meet you, Miss Fox. - Michelle, please. 94 00:08:55,644 --> 00:08:58,058 Michelle... Wow! 95 00:08:58,284 --> 00:09:00,330 - Oh, oh, I really love the show. - That's great. 96 00:09:00,350 --> 00:09:04,148 Now, you won't believe some of the LEY-activity around here, Michelle. 97 00:09:04,168 --> 00:09:08,598 Did I ever tell you about the time that I nearly collapsed a church, just by rerouting a LEY-line? 98 00:09:08,618 --> 00:09:11,987 - You see, I believe that LEY activity... - Yeah! 99 00:09:12,168 --> 00:09:15,917 Tell us about about it later though, Gavin. We're on a very, very tight deadline. 100 00:09:16,125 --> 00:09:18,500 We've gotta get to the island before the tide comes in. 101 00:09:18,603 --> 00:09:19,645 The tide? 102 00:09:21,654 --> 00:09:26,426 Sacallum is a remote Welch island 2 miles off the Len Peninsula. 103 00:09:26,446 --> 00:09:31,078 It's only accessible during low tide when you can drive across from the mainland 104 00:09:31,098 --> 00:09:35,362 along this tidal cause-way called the "Devil's Spine". 105 00:09:37,448 --> 00:09:39,954 We'll be lucky to have a spine left after this. 106 00:09:39,997 --> 00:09:43,756 Geographically, the spine is amazing. It's on a major LEY-line, you know. 107 00:09:43,776 --> 00:09:44,871 Really! 108 00:09:46,194 --> 00:09:49,499 The island's owned by the Williams family. They've owned it for centuries. 109 00:09:49,608 --> 00:09:53,879 It's been farmed since ancient times. Unusually fertile ground. 110 00:09:53,984 --> 00:09:57,182 No shops, no neighbors, no pubs. 111 00:09:58,087 --> 00:10:02,177 And one of the most amazing stone-circles in the whole of Great Britain. 112 00:10:02,197 --> 00:10:05,277 Oh, it's going to be absolutely fascinating! Don't you think? 113 00:10:05,297 --> 00:10:07,797 Absolutely shit! I think. 114 00:10:07,817 --> 00:10:09,114 No pubs! 115 00:10:09,640 --> 00:10:11,696 Oh, man! Wales! 116 00:10:15,069 --> 00:10:17,892 TRESPASSERS WILL BE SHOT 117 00:10:39,454 --> 00:10:42,293 It's so dodging cold! 118 00:11:02,957 --> 00:11:05,143 They do know we're coming, right? 119 00:11:07,920 --> 00:11:10,324 Maybe they've all been abducted? 120 00:11:16,488 --> 00:11:19,473 Hello? Miss Williams? 121 00:11:20,443 --> 00:11:22,049 Anyone? 122 00:11:22,278 --> 00:11:24,556 Welcome... to fuckin' Wales. 123 00:11:28,641 --> 00:11:31,897 I can't find the fucking light switch. Hang on. 124 00:11:33,929 --> 00:11:35,244 Hello? 125 00:11:35,583 --> 00:11:36,757 Anybody home? 126 00:11:44,550 --> 00:11:46,595 Just the wind, sugar. 127 00:11:59,337 --> 00:12:00,257 Aw, shit! 128 00:12:08,371 --> 00:12:09,404 Nice... 129 00:12:11,034 --> 00:12:13,535 Jesus Christ! 130 00:12:14,756 --> 00:12:16,441 Fucking shit. 131 00:12:19,714 --> 00:12:22,537 Fabulous!... Dinner! 132 00:12:23,166 --> 00:12:25,737 Goldilocks, we're home! 133 00:12:26,907 --> 00:12:32,240 - Yeah, where's the three fuckin' bears, aye? - Oh, who cares? I'm starving. 134 00:12:36,076 --> 00:12:37,710 Shoot that for me. 135 00:12:52,305 --> 00:12:54,079 What's with those gas masks? 136 00:12:54,915 --> 00:13:00,407 The military must have got here first. Our investigation is screwed. They'll bury this. 137 00:13:13,412 --> 00:13:16,234 Does anybody speak Welsh? 138 00:13:18,344 --> 00:13:23,456 - Excuse me. Ah, sirs, does anyone here speak english? - English?! 139 00:13:29,058 --> 00:13:35,170 Does anyone here know Cat Williams? You see, I'm here to interview her for television, see. 140 00:13:37,312 --> 00:13:41,972 - Jesus Christ! Show him some fucking thing! - Whoa, whoa, whoa! 141 00:13:42,438 --> 00:13:45,171 For fucks sake, stop! 142 00:13:49,632 --> 00:13:52,775 I must apologize about my brothers. They don't speak English. 143 00:13:52,795 --> 00:13:53,930 English! 144 00:13:54,811 --> 00:13:57,228 And they're not used to strangers. 145 00:14:01,019 --> 00:14:02,512 What's with the suits? 146 00:14:02,532 --> 00:14:06,018 We may be cut off here, but not everything's old-fashioned. 147 00:14:06,038 --> 00:14:09,218 We have a very progressive power-supply. Manure. 148 00:14:09,238 --> 00:14:10,074 What?! 149 00:14:10,289 --> 00:14:14,711 We collect the waste product from the livestock and keep it in a holding system out back. 150 00:14:15,007 --> 00:14:18,693 The hydrogen-sulphide it produces, powers this whole place. 151 00:14:18,948 --> 00:14:21,215 It needs a bit of maintenance, so... 152 00:14:22,076 --> 00:14:24,677 Fart-gas for power. I can see that catching on. 153 00:14:27,298 --> 00:14:31,035 - Can you give us the location fees you promised? - Here you go... 154 00:14:48,897 --> 00:14:53,816 I'm sorry, I was asleep when you arrived. I left you out some food. 155 00:14:55,934 --> 00:14:58,761 Local recipe. Mostly cow's brain. 156 00:15:06,973 --> 00:15:10,505 Right! Well, I think we could all do with some sleep. 157 00:15:10,525 --> 00:15:13,380 We've got a very busy day's filming, tomorrow. 158 00:15:13,651 --> 00:15:16,337 How long's it take to get to the Devil's Teeth? 159 00:15:31,174 --> 00:15:34,550 I'm afraid my brother's don't really approve of what I'm doing. 160 00:15:34,912 --> 00:15:40,320 - I hope they're not gonna be any trouble. - Me too. They're mostly harmless. 161 00:15:40,340 --> 00:15:43,697 Oh, a fellow "Hitchhikers Guide" fan, I see? 162 00:15:44,733 --> 00:15:45,513 Yeah... 163 00:15:45,664 --> 00:15:47,552 What did your brothers say, back then? 164 00:15:48,468 --> 00:15:51,362 That they've seen bad omens in the sky. 165 00:15:51,946 --> 00:15:55,043 That no proper christian should go near those Devil's stones. 166 00:15:55,758 --> 00:15:57,251 It's a cursed place. 167 00:15:57,271 --> 00:16:00,707 Oh, oh, there's an intriguing old legend about the stones. 168 00:16:00,997 --> 00:16:03,801 They're reputably the upper gates of hell. 169 00:16:03,980 --> 00:16:06,691 Should the Devil ever manage to escape his prison... 170 00:16:06,761 --> 00:16:10,122 the stones themselves would cast him down from heaven. 171 00:16:17,378 --> 00:16:22,752 Man is still infinitely small in all these... 172 00:16:37,568 --> 00:16:39,465 Please, show me something. 173 00:16:40,591 --> 00:16:44,525 One UFO, or a glimpse of an EBE. Please... 174 00:16:55,524 --> 00:16:57,778 Oh shit, I've overslept! 175 00:17:02,749 --> 00:17:06,749 Huh? What the fuck..? 176 00:17:15,287 --> 00:17:19,050 The name's Gorman. Gavin Gorman. 177 00:17:19,259 --> 00:17:23,803 The only way that we can save your planet, is if we copulate. 178 00:17:40,822 --> 00:17:43,904 The dream... must get back to my dream... 179 00:17:44,255 --> 00:17:47,422 - Mr Gorman, please, wake up, please! - What's the matter! 180 00:17:47,442 --> 00:17:51,552 You've got to believe me, I've just seen one of those FUO thingies. Quick! 181 00:17:52,756 --> 00:17:54,040 UFO! 182 00:18:10,075 --> 00:18:12,780 How's that for a fucking guy shot!? 183 00:18:13,707 --> 00:18:16,627 - Woof, woof, Pussy. - Look at it, big boy. 184 00:18:17,463 --> 00:18:18,646 Oh, yeah! 185 00:18:28,130 --> 00:18:31,022 Ride Ricky's long legs! 186 00:18:58,501 --> 00:19:03,079 Jesus Christ!... Gavin, Candy?! Get the fuck out of here! 187 00:19:03,276 --> 00:19:06,048 Dreadfully sorry to interrupt, but, but, but, ah... 188 00:19:06,225 --> 00:19:10,178 Candy... UFO... saw... grab your camera! 189 00:19:12,269 --> 00:19:13,864 Perhaps we should phone SETI? 190 00:19:13,884 --> 00:19:16,724 I don't suppose you happened to note down its quadrant in the sky? 191 00:19:16,960 --> 00:19:19,297 Setee? Is that got to do with a sofa? 192 00:19:19,317 --> 00:19:22,613 No, no, no. SETI: The Search for Extraterrestrial Intelligence. 193 00:19:22,633 --> 00:19:26,981 Def lad, I don't think little miss tits'n ass is down with any kind of intelligence. 194 00:19:27,479 --> 00:19:28,812 She probably dreamt it. 195 00:19:29,612 --> 00:19:33,706 Page one of the actors handbook: Use your bleeding imagination! 196 00:19:34,194 --> 00:19:36,382 - No offense. - None taken! 197 00:19:45,066 --> 00:19:46,871 Who or what would do that? 198 00:19:47,420 --> 00:19:54,125 - Maybe it's the visitors way of communicating? - Don't think the visitors would use standard 6" nails. 199 00:20:04,913 --> 00:20:06,922 Now that's fucked up! 200 00:20:07,631 --> 00:20:11,247 Fuckin hell, that's fucking disgusting! 201 00:20:13,378 --> 00:20:17,763 - My God, we can't leave it like that. - Someone's so gonna have to kill it. 202 00:20:22,209 --> 00:20:25,011 Come on guys, it'll be a mercy killing. 203 00:20:45,593 --> 00:20:49,518 You know, those farmers really freak me out... 204 00:21:07,411 --> 00:21:08,510 Oh! 205 00:21:25,462 --> 00:21:28,251 Thank you... Thank you! 206 00:21:28,914 --> 00:21:31,912 I knew you'd reveal something to me. 207 00:21:43,848 --> 00:21:46,694 As the head of British UFO Research Commitee... 208 00:21:47,445 --> 00:21:51,596 ...it is with great honor that I hereby welcome you to our humble planet. 209 00:21:52,093 --> 00:21:54,288 Um... Why not?... 210 00:21:55,179 --> 00:21:58,006 May you live long, and prosper. 211 00:22:07,782 --> 00:22:14,052 Wow, this is amazing, isn't it? A crop-circle. Real proof of alien visitation. 212 00:22:14,072 --> 00:22:18,388 Yeah, there's no doubt about aliens now. Looks like the porno queen was right, aye? 213 00:22:18,701 --> 00:22:20,352 First time for everything. 214 00:22:20,503 --> 00:22:23,189 Get your camera, Ricky, my lad. We need to film this! 215 00:22:23,209 --> 00:22:25,533 - This is proof. - Yeah, I wish that were true. 216 00:22:25,553 --> 00:22:28,281 What do you mean, Gorman? This is your dream come true. 217 00:22:29,862 --> 00:22:32,778 No, it's a lie! You made the crop-circle with these. 218 00:22:32,798 --> 00:22:34,629 And don't tell me you don't know how to. 219 00:22:34,649 --> 00:22:36,618 - But we don't know how! - Oh, please, you had the usual... 220 00:22:36,638 --> 00:22:41,942 Doug & Dave art terrorism bit and how to make a crop circle on your own show last month! 221 00:22:43,426 --> 00:22:47,313 Yes, it's my dream to find real evidence of alien activity. 222 00:22:47,623 --> 00:22:49,630 You don't know how important that is to me. 223 00:22:49,650 --> 00:22:52,266 There's a lot of people out there who want there to be more 224 00:22:52,286 --> 00:22:55,501 to this world than their crappy 9 to 5 slavery. 225 00:22:55,521 --> 00:22:59,377 You should be ashamed of yourselves. I thought your show was the voice of truth. 226 00:22:59,397 --> 00:23:03,627 - You have a responsibility to the public. - Yeah, to entertain them! 227 00:23:03,647 --> 00:23:08,565 Try to understand my position. OK, in 2 years of reporting for the show, 228 00:23:08,603 --> 00:23:12,851 I've never seen a ghost, goblin, monster or a UFO. 229 00:23:13,468 --> 00:23:15,947 I'm sorry, but for me, this is just a living. 230 00:23:16,050 --> 00:23:19,550 If I don't get a hot story this week, then my show is finished. 231 00:23:19,732 --> 00:23:23,525 - Do you want that? - I want the truth. 232 00:23:24,804 --> 00:23:26,673 Yeah, well the truth ain't out there. 233 00:23:27,152 --> 00:23:28,964 It's good job the aliens weren't real, 234 00:23:28,984 --> 00:23:32,727 you greeted to them with a line from fucking Star Trek, for fucks sake! 235 00:23:32,747 --> 00:23:38,538 As head of B.U.R.C. I could not let you film this as evidence of real alien activity! 236 00:23:38,558 --> 00:23:40,026 Well, we haven't yet. 237 00:23:42,104 --> 00:23:45,175 Nobody fucks with a UFO enthusiast! 238 00:24:17,284 --> 00:24:19,259 Oh, the bastard's ruined it! 239 00:24:19,279 --> 00:24:22,364 Why bother filming it now, they'll never let that one air. 240 00:24:22,476 --> 00:24:25,042 Pick it up before the watershed, Ricky. 241 00:24:28,562 --> 00:24:32,834 - Sorry for oversleeping. - Oh, don't worry, didn't miss a thing. 242 00:24:44,375 --> 00:24:45,267 Right! 243 00:24:45,408 --> 00:24:49,520 I'm sure we all want to get off this picture postcard paradise as quickly as possible 244 00:24:49,540 --> 00:24:51,217 so let's keep this tight, people. 245 00:24:51,575 --> 00:24:55,128 Actors, you wanna get suited, and Beauty Bill kick off with the interviews. 246 00:24:55,889 --> 00:24:59,274 Ricky? Ricky! Can you come over here a second, babe? 247 00:24:59,762 --> 00:25:02,638 I just wanna run over some, ah, technical things. 248 00:25:10,031 --> 00:25:11,233 That's odd... 249 00:25:11,568 --> 00:25:14,071 It's the complete opposite of Avebury. 250 00:25:18,015 --> 00:25:19,029 What's up? 251 00:25:21,424 --> 00:25:23,799 - Ow! - Fuckin' hell. 252 00:25:23,922 --> 00:25:26,136 You have some dodgy wiring there, don't you, mate? 253 00:25:26,156 --> 00:25:28,973 No, no, no, it's from the stones. 254 00:25:29,537 --> 00:25:34,320 The stone circles are known to receive energy. They power the LEY-lines. 255 00:25:34,340 --> 00:25:37,611 But this seems to be... emitting it. 256 00:25:38,438 --> 00:25:42,898 Sometimes you get this sort of activity when the site's connected to an underground tunnel. 257 00:25:43,001 --> 00:25:45,813 Oh, I'd love to get a look beneath this lady's skirt. 258 00:25:45,833 --> 00:25:48,505 I bet you would, you dirty bastard! 259 00:26:00,185 --> 00:26:01,096 Nice one. 260 00:26:04,844 --> 00:26:06,722 Bonza, let's shoot this fucker! 261 00:26:07,010 --> 00:26:12,043 So, Miss Williams, tell me exactly what happened on that horrific night. 262 00:27:31,660 --> 00:27:32,971 Hello... 263 00:27:33,800 --> 00:27:36,349 But you and your boyfriend smoked a lot of pot that night. 264 00:27:36,369 --> 00:27:39,579 Are you sure you weren't just high and paranoid?! 265 00:27:44,918 --> 00:27:46,428 Paranoid? 266 00:27:50,477 --> 00:27:52,072 For fuck's sake, 267 00:27:52,092 --> 00:27:56,548 I was forced to watch him being brutally murdered, and could do nothing about it. 268 00:27:58,754 --> 00:28:01,731 I reported it and wasn't taken seriously. 269 00:28:03,158 --> 00:28:04,885 I thought you'd understand... 270 00:28:05,120 --> 00:28:08,225 Well, the police still have him listed as a missing person, 271 00:28:08,245 --> 00:28:11,050 and the body's never been found, has it? 272 00:28:11,149 --> 00:28:12,941 You think I killed him?! 273 00:28:13,506 --> 00:28:17,206 I'm just trying to understand what actually happened here. 274 00:28:20,083 --> 00:28:21,144 Yeah... 275 00:28:22,355 --> 00:28:25,520 I'm painfully aware of how ridiculous my story sounds. 276 00:28:26,114 --> 00:28:27,958 And the only reason I'm telling it to you, 277 00:28:28,175 --> 00:28:30,475 is to get money for an abortion 278 00:28:30,495 --> 00:28:33,593 or termination of whatever the fuck is alive inside me! 279 00:28:34,193 --> 00:28:39,271 Believe me, this isn't a pathetic cry for attention or a cheap shot at fame. 280 00:28:39,527 --> 00:28:42,250 Which no doubt is something you'd understand. 281 00:28:43,042 --> 00:28:44,460 So here's the deal... 282 00:28:44,918 --> 00:28:47,510 You wanna talk about alien-rapists. Fine... 283 00:28:47,848 --> 00:28:51,013 But making me look like some stupid back wood's slut 284 00:28:51,033 --> 00:28:54,937 with a drug problem just isn't gonna happen! Are we clear! 285 00:28:55,914 --> 00:28:59,661 Actually, I was gonna make you a lucrative offer to film the alien birth. 286 00:28:59,681 --> 00:29:00,816 Jesus! 287 00:29:02,218 --> 00:29:05,457 Still, that was great! Real emotion. Top television. 288 00:29:06,538 --> 00:29:08,162 Howard's gonna love it. 289 00:29:10,153 --> 00:29:12,247 - Did you hear that? - What, babe? 290 00:29:13,494 --> 00:29:18,668 - Oh no, come on, finish me off! - We're near the noises... I've got to go. 291 00:29:19,221 --> 00:29:21,477 So you run off over there... 292 00:29:28,357 --> 00:29:32,207 No....don't....don't....no...not me...no! 293 00:29:32,846 --> 00:29:34,856 OK, everyone, that's a wrap. 294 00:29:35,554 --> 00:29:38,458 Shame nothing real happened. Never does... 295 00:30:01,622 --> 00:30:04,667 - Fuckin' woman drivers, aye? - Yeah. 296 00:30:04,687 --> 00:30:07,550 Fuck you two. The bastard thing just cut out. 297 00:30:07,570 --> 00:30:09,973 I doubt the AA cover Hell island. 298 00:30:18,129 --> 00:30:19,819 OK, try it again. 299 00:30:22,434 --> 00:30:23,899 I can't understand it. 300 00:30:24,584 --> 00:30:25,907 Come on, baby. 301 00:30:26,030 --> 00:30:27,476 Why you so blue? 302 00:30:35,775 --> 00:30:38,883 What the fucking hell's the matter with our bovine chums? 303 00:30:40,034 --> 00:30:42,250 Yeah, something spooked 'em good. 304 00:30:43,770 --> 00:30:46,032 Let's go and have a look. Could be Gavin's mates. 305 00:30:46,052 --> 00:30:49,329 Fuck that! I'm a sound man, I don't do curious. 306 00:30:49,911 --> 00:30:50,860 Pussy. 307 00:30:53,769 --> 00:30:55,403 OK, try it again. 308 00:30:58,832 --> 00:31:00,785 You still not feeling well, love? 309 00:31:02,682 --> 00:31:04,107 Well, don't worry. 310 00:31:05,584 --> 00:31:07,152 The doctor is in. 311 00:31:15,981 --> 00:31:17,446 Give it another go! 312 00:31:27,569 --> 00:31:28,874 Shit! 313 00:31:31,144 --> 00:31:32,972 Fucking shit all over... 314 00:31:50,789 --> 00:31:53,436 Cattle mutilation is a common alien trait, ain't it, Gorman? 315 00:31:53,456 --> 00:31:58,645 Flattening crops is one thing, but mutilating cattle for the sake of a TV program... 316 00:31:59,294 --> 00:32:00,646 ...that's just sick! 317 00:32:00,666 --> 00:32:04,109 That's ridiculous! We didn't do this, Gavin! 318 00:32:04,129 --> 00:32:06,295 Well, whatever done it, done it recently. 319 00:32:13,929 --> 00:32:15,469 Did you see something? 320 00:32:18,427 --> 00:32:20,070 Oh, for God's sake! 321 00:32:25,532 --> 00:32:27,136 What did you see? 322 00:32:27,459 --> 00:32:30,920 - Was it reptilian or gray? - Pissed off, I'd say. 323 00:32:40,644 --> 00:32:44,353 Candy! Go, go, go! Go! 324 00:32:45,051 --> 00:32:47,961 Start the engine! Come on! Start the engine! 325 00:32:52,029 --> 00:32:54,009 Start...work...! 326 00:32:58,104 --> 00:32:59,193 Fucking hell! 327 00:33:06,445 --> 00:33:08,812 Start the engine! Come on! It'll work. 328 00:33:19,870 --> 00:33:22,837 Come on, Michelle, this isn't covered by our insurance! 329 00:33:22,857 --> 00:33:25,710 We're supposed to be responsible for the safety of these people. 330 00:33:26,594 --> 00:33:28,894 Well, I vote we get off this island now! 331 00:33:28,914 --> 00:33:31,796 I'm a character actor, not a fucking hero! 332 00:33:32,223 --> 00:33:34,415 I can't believe you people! 333 00:33:34,435 --> 00:33:37,401 This could be the most significant event of our century, 334 00:33:37,421 --> 00:33:39,095 perhaps all history! 335 00:33:39,536 --> 00:33:44,309 He's right. This is what we're here for. This story could change everything for us! 336 00:33:44,349 --> 00:33:47,456 Yeah, our status from living to dead! 337 00:33:54,338 --> 00:33:56,113 Show him the footage. 338 00:34:02,361 --> 00:34:06,192 Did you see something? What did you see? 339 00:34:07,040 --> 00:34:07,891 Was it reptilian or... 340 00:34:14,911 --> 00:34:18,836 Well, they took that well... What do you think they got in mind? 341 00:35:12,454 --> 00:35:14,548 This is actually worth that tempo night. 342 00:35:14,617 --> 00:35:17,055 I'm so going to speak to my agent about this one. 343 00:35:17,176 --> 00:35:21,195 Yeah, but if they can't get you a better gig than funny socks, I wouldn't boff 'em. 344 00:35:21,457 --> 00:35:22,748 Hey, monkey-boy. 345 00:35:23,298 --> 00:35:26,080 This could be the chance of the lifetime, you know. 346 00:35:26,599 --> 00:35:28,458 We've gotta go back out there. 347 00:35:28,624 --> 00:35:32,745 Newsflash! We can get some real footage of aliens here! 348 00:35:32,765 --> 00:35:35,671 Not the usual fuzzy out-of-focus amateur shit. 349 00:35:36,364 --> 00:35:40,101 Have you any idea how much the world wide rights would be worth? 350 00:35:41,067 --> 00:35:43,113 That's a lot of bananas! 351 00:35:46,488 --> 00:35:47,756 Nice weapon. 352 00:36:03,593 --> 00:36:04,457 Fuck! 353 00:36:10,089 --> 00:36:15,396 Question: Where in Hades do the love couple think they're driving off to? 354 00:36:18,852 --> 00:36:22,801 What? Deserting us here? Huh! Meteor ass wipes. 355 00:36:23,262 --> 00:36:27,844 - Come on bitch, what you talking about? - Oh yeah, nice mates, leaving you here! 356 00:36:29,098 --> 00:36:31,877 At least we'll be safe here darling. 357 00:36:32,363 --> 00:36:36,784 Although, perhaps a sneaky little drink to calm our nerves, yes? 358 00:36:43,378 --> 00:36:46,937 - What the hell is this?! - Local brew. 359 00:36:47,059 --> 00:36:49,598 Too much for gay city slickers? 360 00:36:53,589 --> 00:36:57,833 Yes...well... at least I'll never get pregnant! 361 00:36:57,936 --> 00:36:59,580 Loser! 362 00:37:04,716 --> 00:37:07,038 Oh, come on, Ricky. We need to film. 363 00:37:07,204 --> 00:37:09,723 Fuckin' hell..! 364 00:37:16,516 --> 00:37:18,760 The air taste like shit in here! 365 00:37:19,816 --> 00:37:22,943 Yeah, it's even worse than manure ville farm. 366 00:37:29,218 --> 00:37:32,467 I don't even wanna know how this technology works! 367 00:37:33,781 --> 00:37:35,455 Three seater model. 368 00:37:35,924 --> 00:37:38,882 Naught to light-speed in about 6.2 seconds. 369 00:37:39,569 --> 00:37:41,226 All the latest in ah... 370 00:37:42,527 --> 00:37:44,236 brain steering. 371 00:37:47,280 --> 00:37:50,820 Well, at least we know how many aliens are out there now. 372 00:37:57,926 --> 00:37:58,734 Right! 373 00:37:58,940 --> 00:38:02,480 The mainland police say that they don't have a protocol for an alien invasion, 374 00:38:02,696 --> 00:38:05,528 but he wished us a nice evening. The bastards! 375 00:38:05,706 --> 00:38:08,063 Oh! I think that's kind of sweet. 376 00:38:16,282 --> 00:38:19,803 Did you see that? Her nose just lite up like a fuckin' christmas tree. 377 00:38:19,823 --> 00:38:23,268 Amazing! It's an implant! 378 00:38:23,890 --> 00:38:26,832 They're either got her on a tracking device up there, or... 379 00:38:27,383 --> 00:38:31,087 ...on some kind of remote control. 380 00:38:43,246 --> 00:38:48,621 - Do you think this is a good idea? - I think it will be safer for us all if we get it out. 381 00:39:05,685 --> 00:39:08,069 Too much for gay city slickers, aye? 382 00:39:08,529 --> 00:39:11,073 Looks like the locals get smashed on it too. 383 00:39:32,853 --> 00:39:34,665 "It's show time, kids!" 384 00:39:38,432 --> 00:39:40,094 "You'll burn in hell." 385 00:40:13,855 --> 00:40:15,385 Come on, Cat. 386 00:40:17,023 --> 00:40:18,845 Time to get in the game. 387 00:40:27,338 --> 00:40:30,878 Got to sort my head out. 388 00:44:02,416 --> 00:44:07,181 This is Michelle Fox, reporting from on board an actual alien craft. 389 00:44:07,953 --> 00:44:09,284 Wow! 390 00:44:09,905 --> 00:44:11,079 Oh, man... 391 00:44:11,694 --> 00:44:15,065 This stuff really is amazing, isn't it?! 392 00:44:15,539 --> 00:44:16,553 Wow! 393 00:44:20,121 --> 00:44:21,343 Oh, shit! 394 00:44:21,363 --> 00:44:22,105 Oops. 395 00:44:22,574 --> 00:44:26,718 - What the fuck are you doin'?! - Well, hand me the money and I'll let you know! 396 00:44:28,803 --> 00:44:31,555 Jesus fuckin' Christ, what the fuck is that?! 397 00:44:32,093 --> 00:44:32,900 Just 398 00:44:33,370 --> 00:44:34,121 keep 399 00:44:34,562 --> 00:44:35,727 filming. 400 00:44:39,598 --> 00:44:40,954 That's a good boy! 401 00:44:42,117 --> 00:44:43,885 Come on. Sit, boy! 402 00:44:46,355 --> 00:44:47,493 Little bastard! 403 00:44:47,513 --> 00:44:49,305 Jesus Christ! Help get it off! 404 00:44:49,325 --> 00:44:51,399 - Wait...I'm... - Fuckin' hell! 405 00:44:51,709 --> 00:44:52,770 Nice doggie. 406 00:44:54,188 --> 00:44:55,371 Roll over! 407 00:44:55,962 --> 00:44:57,624 Play....dead! 408 00:45:04,872 --> 00:45:07,579 Let's get away from here, before the owners miss Fido. 409 00:45:09,029 --> 00:45:11,468 Jesus, you fuckin' rocked back there, babe. 410 00:45:11,624 --> 00:45:13,751 - Thanks - It's OK. 411 00:45:14,030 --> 00:45:15,671 I fuckin' hate pets! 412 00:45:17,925 --> 00:45:21,211 I think we should go outside and take a look. This is a chance for contact. 413 00:45:21,390 --> 00:45:25,051 Yeah, great! Let's go out and duke it out with the monsters from outer space! 414 00:45:25,220 --> 00:45:27,535 Actually, they prefer to be called "visitors". 415 00:45:27,555 --> 00:45:30,408 Yeah, like you'd know, cos you read it on fuckin' Internet! 416 00:45:30,608 --> 00:45:33,960 - Hey, don't pick on him just cos he's braver than you. - Oh, shut up! 417 00:45:36,588 --> 00:45:38,117 - Aah! - What bravery! 418 00:45:38,137 --> 00:45:42,860 Oh, my God, you guys have got to see this! You will not believe what those farmers have done! 419 00:45:51,947 --> 00:45:55,434 This might not bode well for inter-species harmony, but... 420 00:45:55,604 --> 00:45:56,966 ...they're real!! 421 00:45:57,482 --> 00:45:59,698 Aliens are real! 422 00:46:00,706 --> 00:46:03,981 Thank you! Thank you, lord! 423 00:46:04,545 --> 00:46:09,371 Yea, hallelujah! Don't say you never "told you so", Gorman. Don't hold back or nothin'. 424 00:46:12,441 --> 00:46:15,295 Excuse me! Before we start the picnic, 425 00:46:15,783 --> 00:46:18,366 why do you think it's safe for us to swan about out here? 426 00:46:18,479 --> 00:46:23,099 We saw their ship. It seats 3 and we've now seen three alien corpses. 427 00:46:23,119 --> 00:46:27,016 - We're fine. - So where are our heroic farming chums now, then? 428 00:46:27,374 --> 00:46:31,120 Well, they were burning the other two alien bodies over there somewhere. 429 00:47:02,576 --> 00:47:03,555 Cat? 430 00:47:36,904 --> 00:47:39,914 - Sounds like trouble. - Let's go check it out. 431 00:47:40,407 --> 00:47:41,364 Great! 432 00:48:00,084 --> 00:48:01,145 Jesus. 433 00:48:29,854 --> 00:48:33,023 Oh, man, this is bad! We gotta get out of here, now! 434 00:48:33,757 --> 00:48:37,485 Ditto, Sweeties. This is just getting too real for me. 435 00:48:38,377 --> 00:48:41,953 Those farmers looked pretty macho. What chance have we got? 436 00:48:44,558 --> 00:48:47,018 Gorman! Fuck, don't do that! 437 00:48:47,378 --> 00:48:51,763 Hurts on the farmers! You said there were none of these ET things left alive! 438 00:48:51,913 --> 00:48:55,162 Perhaps we was wrong about the amount of aliens on that ship. 439 00:48:55,763 --> 00:48:58,687 - Perhaps Fido had a bigger brother? - Fido? 440 00:48:59,330 --> 00:49:02,701 Yeah, weird sort of killer pet... 441 00:49:02,832 --> 00:49:05,109 Oh, I wish I could have seen that. What did it look like? 442 00:49:05,129 --> 00:49:08,617 Excuse me, Gorman. I think we've got more pressing concerns! 443 00:49:08,637 --> 00:49:10,451 - We should get back to the mini-bus. - Yeah. 444 00:49:11,068 --> 00:49:14,045 For safety, arm up with whatever you can find. 445 00:49:17,349 --> 00:49:20,999 Gorman, you're the alien expert. How do we beat these fuckers? 446 00:49:21,114 --> 00:49:25,189 These are the first aliens I've ever met, but I think the farmers over reacted. 447 00:49:25,507 --> 00:49:31,797 - We should try and communicate with them. - I think it's a little late to try and win them over, honey! 448 00:49:36,425 --> 00:49:38,470 Here, why didn't I get a weapon? 449 00:49:39,344 --> 00:49:42,973 These are our weapons. We're pro's. 450 00:49:46,121 --> 00:49:49,849 I don't know what dream you're dreamin', but I ain't buying it, Sunshine. 451 00:49:52,381 --> 00:49:53,525 OK, look... 452 00:49:53,911 --> 00:49:57,447 At most, there can only be one alien left on the prowl. 453 00:49:57,561 --> 00:50:00,317 Yeah? You better make that two. 454 00:50:00,897 --> 00:50:02,484 Jesus is missing. 455 00:50:03,505 --> 00:50:09,351 - Oh, well. Lucky I've got me boom pole, aye? You fuckin'... - Secure that shit, Campbell! 456 00:50:09,595 --> 00:50:13,799 Guys! Keep it together. We really shouldn't be making all this noise. 457 00:50:15,543 --> 00:50:17,138 - Fuck! - Jesus Christ! 458 00:50:17,365 --> 00:50:18,803 Sorry, loveys... 459 00:50:21,644 --> 00:50:23,146 I'm blind! 460 00:50:29,546 --> 00:50:32,921 Quick, get everyone back to the bus! I'll try and hold them off. 461 00:50:40,530 --> 00:50:44,200 For fucks sake, Gorman! Spark up that chainsaw! 462 00:51:02,867 --> 00:51:05,354 Never thought I'd be pleased to see him! 463 00:51:05,488 --> 00:51:08,032 - Ahh, my fuckin' eyes! - Get him out of here! 464 00:51:08,230 --> 00:51:09,816 Get me out of here. 465 00:51:09,836 --> 00:51:13,901 Can you get my cane?! I do actually feel safer with it. 466 00:51:15,077 --> 00:51:17,444 Get me out... Get me the fuck out of it. 467 00:51:17,464 --> 00:51:20,917 - Oh, fuck! - OK, everybody meet us back at the bus. 468 00:51:50,484 --> 00:51:52,771 I thought I had a death scene there. 469 00:52:18,094 --> 00:52:22,841 - Oh, my God, we can't leave him like that. - Wounds that bad, he's good as dead. 470 00:52:22,954 --> 00:52:25,492 Well, someone's got to do something! 471 00:52:31,378 --> 00:52:36,187 Just think, this footage, it isn't just gonna make us rich, 472 00:52:36,351 --> 00:52:38,116 it's gonna win us awards! 473 00:52:38,460 --> 00:52:43,620 Yeah, which our ghosts will collect posthumously, if we don't fuckin' leave! 474 00:52:43,996 --> 00:52:48,156 Guys, come on, relax. We're gonna get through this. 475 00:52:52,547 --> 00:52:55,214 - Oh, fuck! - What? What happened? 476 00:52:55,862 --> 00:52:59,205 - One of them just got Foxy! - Oh, shit. 477 00:53:00,529 --> 00:53:03,008 - I've got to go and get her. - No, Rick! 478 00:53:03,318 --> 00:53:05,834 Fuck, if they've got her, she's dead. 479 00:53:06,220 --> 00:53:10,483 You go off on your own, you're dead. You leave me here on my own, and I'm dead. 480 00:53:10,908 --> 00:53:15,433 The only chance we got of living through this is to get to the bus, now! 481 00:53:15,743 --> 00:53:17,132 You know I'm right! 482 00:53:18,487 --> 00:53:19,761 Are you OK? 483 00:53:21,491 --> 00:53:22,477 No. 484 00:53:41,271 --> 00:53:44,182 Thanks for fuckin' waiting, you wankers! 485 00:53:48,645 --> 00:53:51,321 Hey, where's Michelle? Or would you sell her out, too? 486 00:53:51,341 --> 00:53:54,354 I guess they realised what a phony she was after all, huh. 487 00:53:54,374 --> 00:53:57,650 Fuck you, playstation! You don't know anything about her! 488 00:53:57,772 --> 00:53:59,940 Does anyone wanna switch seats? 489 00:54:16,078 --> 00:54:18,303 Bet anyone 50 quid it won't start. 490 00:54:57,299 --> 00:54:59,161 I did that! 491 00:55:06,055 --> 00:55:07,529 Just to be sure. 492 00:55:12,403 --> 00:55:14,478 Whoopee-fuckin'-doo! 493 00:55:14,779 --> 00:55:17,148 We managed to kill one whole alien! 494 00:55:17,427 --> 00:55:19,503 Im-fuckin'-pressive! 495 00:55:23,963 --> 00:55:25,477 Where's Gavin gone? 496 00:55:25,767 --> 00:55:30,072 - He must be dead. We're all gonna die here! - You can stop that shit, right now, mate! 497 00:55:30,092 --> 00:55:33,659 Foxy died for a stupid TV show. Was it worth it, aye? 498 00:55:37,790 --> 00:55:40,898 Oh, come on, guys! At least we've got wheels. 499 00:55:41,350 --> 00:55:43,678 Surely things can't get any worse. 500 00:55:44,825 --> 00:55:48,049 What the fuck? Do they still have earthquakes in Wales? 501 00:55:48,204 --> 00:55:52,913 - It's not an earthquake! - Of course it fuckin' is, the ground's shaking! 502 00:55:55,042 --> 00:55:57,125 - Oh! - Oh, what? 503 00:55:57,145 --> 00:56:00,437 - What's happening? - We're gonna need a bigger boat. 504 00:56:00,611 --> 00:56:01,742 What?! 505 00:56:32,609 --> 00:56:34,065 It's beautiful! 506 00:57:05,228 --> 00:57:08,993 Hey, it's like a giant mobile phone on charge. 507 00:57:18,228 --> 00:57:20,801 Oh oh! This doesn't look good! 508 00:57:29,817 --> 00:57:31,629 Behind us! Behind us! 509 00:58:32,688 --> 00:58:34,547 Ow! Shit! 510 00:58:45,296 --> 00:58:46,395 Yow!.. 511 00:58:46,564 --> 00:58:48,863 Fuckin' hell! What was that?! 512 00:58:53,278 --> 00:58:55,513 Wahoo! How's that?! 513 00:58:55,804 --> 00:58:59,097 - That's a six! How's that? - Oh, really? 514 00:59:04,097 --> 00:59:05,196 Fuckin' hell. 515 00:59:06,283 --> 00:59:08,388 Aw, shit! Love! 516 00:59:08,408 --> 00:59:10,032 Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! 517 00:59:10,052 --> 00:59:11,524 Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! 518 00:59:11,544 --> 00:59:12,642 Fuck! Fuck! 519 00:59:12,662 --> 00:59:14,850 Fuck! Fuck! 520 00:59:15,113 --> 00:59:19,092 - Oh, I should have fuckin' seen that one coming! - What? Seen what? 521 00:59:24,229 --> 00:59:26,634 Oh, fucking... God hates us! 522 00:59:26,747 --> 00:59:30,014 Oh, we just have to wait for the tide to go out, then we can leave. 523 00:59:30,328 --> 00:59:34,816 Fuckin' cuntsy wag! I want out of this chicken shit unit and off this rock! 524 00:59:34,919 --> 00:59:37,671 Oh, yeah, and how the fuck you gonna do that, Houdini? 525 01:01:17,885 --> 01:01:22,643 Please, be gentle with me! It's my first time. 526 01:02:33,310 --> 01:02:35,595 Don't...please... 527 01:02:37,962 --> 01:02:39,135 No....! 528 01:02:41,329 --> 01:02:43,874 Don't...please... 529 01:03:01,184 --> 01:03:02,602 Aww...! 530 01:03:03,813 --> 01:03:08,410 Shame I didn't have a camera. I could interview you... 531 01:03:08,449 --> 01:03:10,720 ...to find out how you feel. 532 01:03:19,455 --> 01:03:20,554 Oh, God. 533 01:03:28,537 --> 01:03:29,458 Gavin! 534 01:03:30,528 --> 01:03:32,492 Oh! Oh, thank God! 535 01:03:32,591 --> 01:03:36,764 Please. Please. Help me! You gotta get me out of here. 536 01:03:36,784 --> 01:03:40,735 Oh, "Gavin", is it now? Well, laddie-da. 537 01:03:41,182 --> 01:03:45,721 Don't you remember earlier? The way you treated that poor girl Cat and her "crazy story"? 538 01:03:46,168 --> 01:03:48,882 Well, lookie what "miss crazy" just did to you! 539 01:03:49,370 --> 01:03:51,633 Please, Gavin. I'm sorry, I... 540 01:03:52,198 --> 01:03:56,847 I know I was...out-of-order to everyone, but I was just doing a job! 541 01:03:56,867 --> 01:04:01,367 Oh, jobs worth, are we? You know what I'd call this moment? 542 01:04:01,929 --> 01:04:04,314 Poetic justice. 543 01:04:05,233 --> 01:04:09,487 Sorry, I'm gonna leave you here to rot. Bye, bye! 544 01:04:10,088 --> 01:04:10,933 No... 545 01:04:20,292 --> 01:04:21,737 Just kidding! 546 01:04:22,257 --> 01:04:26,407 What? You didn't really think I was gonna go off, did you? 547 01:04:27,168 --> 01:04:29,346 Oh, Gavin! Thank God. 548 01:04:36,168 --> 01:04:38,337 Come on, man, you're breaking up the band! 549 01:04:38,357 --> 01:04:42,435 I'm sorry I'd rather die drowning than be alien probed and ripped to pieces! 550 01:04:42,537 --> 01:04:45,429 - Still, each to his own, aye? - Mate, we've gotta get back to the bus! 551 01:04:45,449 --> 01:04:47,465 This place is gonna be swarming soon. 552 01:04:47,485 --> 01:04:49,954 We'd be better of barricading ourselves up at the farm. 553 01:04:49,974 --> 01:04:52,900 That's just "Day of the Dead" without the helicopter! 554 01:04:53,525 --> 01:04:55,929 Oh, man, I told you Wales was shit! 555 01:04:56,896 --> 01:05:00,840 - You can barely see, mate! - I don't need to be able to see to swim straight! 556 01:05:00,860 --> 01:05:05,161 - Fighting those currents is suicide! - So's staying here! I'm sorry, mate! 557 01:05:05,841 --> 01:05:07,453 - Bye! - Hold on. 558 01:05:08,088 --> 01:05:09,835 - Take one of these. - Yeah. 559 01:05:10,088 --> 01:05:12,933 Proof that you're not completely mad, if you make it. 560 01:05:16,262 --> 01:05:17,013 Look, man... 561 01:05:18,262 --> 01:05:21,079 - I'll buy you a pint on the other side, aye. - Yeah. 562 01:05:22,253 --> 01:05:23,596 It's been special. 563 01:05:29,384 --> 01:05:30,568 Right. Go on. 564 01:06:27,872 --> 01:06:28,824 Fuck! 565 01:06:49,665 --> 01:06:51,228 GOD HATES TREK 566 01:06:53,212 --> 01:06:56,466 Come on, England! Come to papa! 567 01:07:02,692 --> 01:07:04,073 We're lost. 568 01:07:04,513 --> 01:07:07,255 This whole ship looks exactly the same. 569 01:07:13,714 --> 01:07:20,484 - Oh, what in Roddenberry's name is that?! - Fido! It's Fido! 570 01:07:20,852 --> 01:07:24,428 Well, this is the scout ship! It must have gone right to the middle. 571 01:07:25,053 --> 01:07:27,617 Great! So what we gonna do, fly out? 572 01:07:36,381 --> 01:07:38,721 Not so hard! Gentle. 573 01:07:39,123 --> 01:07:42,963 She obviously responds to a bit of, you know... fore-play. 574 01:07:55,827 --> 01:07:58,703 Ho, ho, ho, it's working! 575 01:08:10,273 --> 01:08:11,473 Go up! 576 01:08:11,493 --> 01:08:12,225 Up 577 01:08:13,173 --> 01:08:14,357 Up! Up! 578 01:08:16,601 --> 01:08:17,456 Go up! 579 01:08:24,316 --> 01:08:27,262 Oh, this is just cracking! 580 01:08:27,736 --> 01:08:31,479 Gavin, I'd like to stay on earth. 581 01:08:55,047 --> 01:08:56,277 Die! 582 01:09:01,338 --> 01:09:02,446 Come on! 583 01:09:03,865 --> 01:09:08,203 I can't see a fuckin' thing! We're gonna have to make the rest of the way on foot, guys. 584 01:09:10,474 --> 01:09:11,329 OK. 585 01:09:12,727 --> 01:09:14,154 Here, take this. 586 01:09:17,337 --> 01:09:18,145 Right! 587 01:09:19,004 --> 01:09:20,290 Get ready for this. 588 01:10:47,790 --> 01:10:50,430 - Shit, we're out of ammo! - Brain 'em. 589 01:10:50,608 --> 01:10:53,869 Go for the helmets. Seems they don't like our air anyway. 590 01:11:05,052 --> 01:11:06,149 Wow! 591 01:11:06,169 --> 01:11:08,646 - What is that thing? - Salvation. 592 01:11:09,086 --> 01:11:13,208 What say we go harvest some aliens? Hey, farmer, do you know how to drive that thing? 593 01:11:15,310 --> 01:11:17,169 How difficult can it be? 594 01:11:24,079 --> 01:11:25,037 Dials... 595 01:11:28,914 --> 01:11:29,994 Key...key... 596 01:11:36,735 --> 01:11:37,997 Ready to go. 597 01:11:38,811 --> 01:11:41,853 Ummm....right. 598 01:11:56,442 --> 01:11:59,494 Come on, you bastards! Come at me! 599 01:12:00,226 --> 01:12:02,555 Suck on my fat combine! 600 01:13:09,025 --> 01:13:09,879 Huh? 601 01:13:10,988 --> 01:13:12,245 Ohh... 602 01:13:12,387 --> 01:13:13,560 Shit...! 603 01:16:00,561 --> 01:16:02,450 Oh, fuck it! 604 01:16:16,402 --> 01:16:18,609 Oh, my God. That was awesome. 605 01:16:46,001 --> 01:16:48,048 Oh, shit. Which way? 606 01:17:50,049 --> 01:17:51,617 Oh, sorry Ricky. 607 01:18:02,646 --> 01:18:05,764 I've got a really bad feeling about this. 608 01:18:19,491 --> 01:18:20,341 Whoops! 609 01:18:29,881 --> 01:18:32,585 Have you actually passed your test, Gorman? 610 01:18:38,507 --> 01:18:39,834 Where's Ricky? 611 01:18:40,551 --> 01:18:42,607 He never gives up his tapes. 612 01:18:45,260 --> 01:18:47,092 Did he have some sort of plan? 613 01:19:06,802 --> 01:19:07,948 That's done it! 614 01:19:08,652 --> 01:19:11,300 You wanna fuck with her, extra? Come on then! 615 01:19:38,911 --> 01:19:40,396 Oh, shit. 616 01:20:22,946 --> 01:20:23,923 Fuck! 617 01:20:49,808 --> 01:20:51,526 Eat shit! 618 01:21:23,160 --> 01:21:26,634 What is the point in doing that? It never works in zombie movies! 619 01:21:26,916 --> 01:21:27,996 Well... 620 01:23:14,862 --> 01:23:17,321 Michelle, they're controlling you. 621 01:23:17,398 --> 01:23:21,510 You've got to fight it! I know the real you can hear me. 622 01:23:25,351 --> 01:23:26,652 Maybe not..! 623 01:23:26,757 --> 01:23:27,831 You wanker! 624 01:25:08,178 --> 01:25:10,155 It's incredible. 625 01:26:20,943 --> 01:26:23,554 Press space-bar to activate. 626 01:26:47,126 --> 01:26:50,928 You, and your alien mates, are fucked! 627 01:28:13,605 --> 01:28:16,947 No alien mother fucker gets the better of Jack Campbell! 628 01:28:19,836 --> 01:28:20,811 Where's the..? 629 01:28:22,118 --> 01:28:23,864 Bollocks! 630 01:30:44,743 --> 01:30:47,662 Translation: AntiJw Updated 11-20-2010. 50075

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.