Original subtitles

GREENWICH MEAN TIME

3:00

NEW YORK

22:00

PARIS

4:00

MOSCOW

6:00

BRAZZAVILLE

4:00

BEIJING

11:00

SAIGON

11:00

JAPAN STANDARD TIME

Thief!

Hurry up! Take them off!

What are you accusing me of stealing?

Shut up, you son of a bitch!

You must have something in mind. Tell me what I took!

A plastic pipe.

Take your pants off too!

Fine, I'll take them off.

Pull 'em down further.

Wait a minute.

You think I've got something in here?

You wanna see what's inside?

How about it?

We're terribly sorry! Forgive us!

This is Ali Baba

Town of mystery

Someone asks you

Morning in the sea

Noon on a hill

Night in the river

Who is it?

Bero-bero, a little boy

This is Ali Baba, town of mystery

DIARY OF A SHINJUKU THIEF

Even if we'll fade away...

A SOZOSHA PRODUCTION

Produced by MASAYUKI NAKAJIMA

Screenplay by TAKESHI TAMURA, MAMORU SASAKI

Cinematography by YOSHIOKA and SEIZO SENGEN

Production Design by JUSHO TODA

In Cooperation with KINOKUNIYA BOOKSTORE

Starring

TADANORI YOKOO

RIE YOKOYAMA

MOICHI TANABE

TETSU TAKAHASHI

KEI SATO

ROKKO TOURA FUMIO WATANABE

JURO KARA and the JOKYO GEKIJO THEATER GROUP

Directed by NAGISA OSHIMA

SHINJUKU

SUMMER 1968

SATURDAY

5:30 P.M.

This is All Baba

Town of mystery

Someone asks you

Morning in the sea

Noon on a hill

Night in the river

Who is it?

Sir, he's the one.

And who might you be?

I'm your employee.

My employee?

Well, never mind.

- Jean Genet? - Yes.

Diary of a Thief.

Are we going to the police?

- You're a fool. - Let me go.

- Three times. - What?

Before they take you to the police.

See you tomorrow.

How may I help you?

Come on, let me do it.

Come on.

Come on. Why stay a virgin?

I'll rape you.

We can do it tomorrow.

Tomorrow?

Tomorrow, the day after, the day after that?

Why not today?

It's my first time.

Think you can make me feel "the ecstasy blues"?

- I know I can. - You sure?

THE NEXT DAY, SUNDAY

SHINJUKU

5:30 P.M.

UBU ROI HOMAGE TO CATALONIA

ARRABAL

THE SEXUAL LIVES OF SAVAGES

ART FANTASTIQUE ART ABSTRAIT

THE TEARS OF EROS

NEKRASOV: RUSSIAN WOMEN

ATLAS OF HUMAN SEX ANATOMY

Three times, right?

This is quite a selection.

He warned me yesterday he'd strike again today,

so I think it best to call the police.

So yesterday was the warning, and today was the real thing.

Are you a cinephile?

- What's your name? - Do I have to say?

I'm glad you like books so much,

but these are merchandise.

I'll give you mine, which isn't for sale.

CONVERSATIONS WITH A NUDE STATUE BY MOICHI TANABE

- My name is Okanoue (Hilltop). - That's an unusual name.

Is this how you write it?

That's right.

Torio Okanoue.

"Tori" as in "bird," "o" as in "man."

At school we had a song called "Hilltop."

The bird in the gingko tree

Sings and sings

I don't sing very well.

I apologize. That's not my real name.

- My real name is Gropey Shinagawa. - "Gropey"?

Stop kidding around. Was it Vickers Hall...?

He wants special treatment because you share an alma mater. I won't allow it.

"Around the entrance to Vickers Hall,

intertwined trumpet creepers.

They make me sentimental.

See how they still grow without withering.

Clear bright skies of autumn,

and the edge of the sea at Shinagawa Bay.

I lean against the wooden fence

and enjoy the view."

I'd know that much even if I weren't from the same school.

So that doesn't tell me whether you are or not.

"Winter exams are close at hand.

I can't understand a single line of French.

Ah, to be 20 years old.

I went to school for six years.

Sake, song, tobacco, and girls --

that's all I ever learned."

All I learned was shoplifting.

If you're going to use a false name,

you could at least use Haruo Sato,

which would be easier to write in the dedication.

But please take this.

You seem oddly fascinated with him.

Nobody else brings shoplifters to me like this.

I'm fond of this store and of you, sir.

You're embarrassing me. What's your name?

Suzuki.

Miss Suzuki...

you needn't bring every shoplifter up here.

I'm quite busy.

Didn't he give it to you?

I don't want to go to dinner with you.

He told us to be friends.

- There's no point. - I'll wait here until you're off.

WASHINGTON -- SUNDAY 5:30 A.M.

NEW URBAN CENTER SHINJUKU SUNDAY 7:30 P.M.

I have a date with a man at 8:00.

- To do what? - Sleep together.

Is sleeping together that great?

What are you doing?

Your touching me like this feels better than sex.

What does it feel like?

I almost ejaculated.

That only happens when I shoplift.

Good-bye.

What about the money?

I don't want it.

How about 2,500 yen each?

I said you can have it all. Use it for the hotel tonight.

Mr. Birdman Hilltop.

What?

You're wealthy.

You could buy any book you want.

I'm poor.

On a bookstore clerk's pay -- - You barely get by.

That's right.

Nonsense.

- Those books you're holding -- - You can have them.

The book the president dedicated to "Birdman Hilltop."

There's a textbook on sex. It'll help you tonight.

Take them.

I get what you're feeling. - Like hell you do.

"To Miss Whosit Suzuki."

Pick them up. They're expensive.

I feel humiliated!

Then steal something.

This is Ali Baba

Town of mystery

Someone asks you

Morning in the sea

Noon on a hill

Night in the river

Who is it?

Bero-bero, a little boy

This is Ali Baba

Town of mystery

An unsolvable solvable riddle

Tonight the owl won't hoot

Congratulations.

Wait. You've got to see me in it.

Like a camel's humps

Or two gourds

How mysteriously we resemble one another

From the number of our hairs to what it looks like down there

We even love the same guy

We even say the same things

In our sleep

On a lonely night

We embrace before a mirror

Even a wilted pomegranate blooms

A lonely winter's night

We gouge out our Siamese cat's eyes

And stuff them in our mouths

The dead give birth in their graves

As long as we

Resemble each other so

There's nothing at all

In the world

The whole world is quiet

A pig's navel

You should have told me before.

So how was it?

Not at all.

I'm asking whether it hurt or not.

Not at all.

You actually enjoyed your first time?

Not at all.

Will you clean out my ears?

Not at all.

- Maybe the ear pick... - Not at all.

enjoys it more than the ear... or not.

My anger and frustration aren't going away at all.

PARIS

PRESIDENT DE GAULLE

GREAT VICTORY

- What was that? - Why's she doing that?

Is she nuts?

Hey, cut it out!

Stop that!

Stop that!

Take her home!

- Let's go. - You go!

- Listen, you -- - Let me go!

Let me go!

No!

Let me go!

Shut up!

SUMMER 1968 -- MONDAY UMEKO SUZUKI WAS HELD

AT YOTSUYA POLICE STATION FROM 4:00 TO 9:00 A.M.

MR. TANABE GOT UMEKO SUZUKI OUT OF JAIL.

THIS WAS AT UMEKO'S REQUEST.

I heard about you two

from Mr. Tanabe.

I think I understand a few things about you.

My approach is very rigorous,

so I'd like you to tell me

a bit about yourselves.

What I think is -- Sorry to do all the talking.

Take off your jacket. It's so hot.

We must gradually lift the veils.

After all, a boy and a girl --

it's quite normal and natural.

From what I've heard, my feeling is that

the young man is too --

I'll put it this way: He's a pretty boy.

The young woman is too proper and mature.

That's the fundamental problem.

Well, neither of you is very mature,

but the young man --

Mr. Mountaintop? No, Mr. Hilltop, was it?

You're still suckling at the breast.

You're still a breast-feeding baby, so to speak.

As for you -- Umeko, was it?

You seem quite mature, but I don't think you really are.

I don't think either of you really understands

what's happening.

I'd like you to look at some of Takehisa Yumeji's work.

Have you seen shunga erotic prints? - Yes.

- How about you? - No.

You look at them first.

Yumeji didn't do many shunga.

Yes, they're rare.

This is quite --

Yes, please pass each to her when you're done.

You too, look closely.

This one kind of gets to me.

- It makes you feel something? - Yes.

So what she's saying...

about this drawing seems to indicate

that she has a desire for group sex.

You also seem to have

homosexual tendencies.

Homosexual tendencies?

Yes, a desire for women.

People call it lesbianism these days.

This drawing is of two women and one man.

Since it made such an impression on you,

I think you have such tendencies.

As for you...

I think you're --

You're still not being honest.

You have to get naked.

One can't become naked just by talking.

There are still many veils.

At least take off your tie.

Come on. Make yourself comfortable.

You still haven't bared your souls to me.

either of you.

I mean...

your waist -- I mean your hips.

they're wide for a boy.

They're as wide as my chest.

Exactly as wide?

- Have you taken your measurements? - No, I haven't.

But judging from my trouser size --

That's good.

But at the same time,

I think it shows a certain weakness.

I don't mean to offend,

but I feel you have many feminine elements.

I want to see the two of you naked...

in both body and soul.

As for you, Umeko...

I think your narcissism --

that is, loving only yourself.

I think that deep inside you

there are lesbian feelings,

or you're susceptible to lesbian tendencies.

Maybe it stems from your bond with your mother

or some other woman.

Then that turned into narcissism, focusing solely on yourself.

That's why you won't get naked.

I think you want to protect yourself.

What do you think?

I think both of you

are wearing

a kind of armor that's weighing you down.

You're both basically incapable of anything.

That's how I feel. I want you to undress.

Could you get naked just because someone said to?

If I'd been alone -- physically, personally, panhumanly--

I would have stripped naked right there.

But it’s about whether she and I can bare ourselves to each other.

Besides, she was a virgin.

She left her cherry blossom on my sheets.

"Not at all... not at all..." That's all she could say.

For things to end that way with a girl like that--

If she pops into my head over breakfast one day when I'm 80,

I think it would bother me.

People say that without sexual liberation, human beings won't be free.

If all the girls in the world stopped saying "not at all,"

the world would stay the same.

I'm sure Professor Takahashi wanted us

to take the first step by stripping.

He told us to forget about the world and strip bare,

but it was impossible.

Mr. Tanabe's efforts were also in vain.

It was a difficult discussion. I should have ended it.

I didn't have to make such a big deal out of a cherry blossom.

It's pretty vulgar of them to come ask us for sex advice.

Yet we don't really have much choice

but to try to respond.

But nobody present tonight is really an authority on the subject.

How would you know?

That's insulting!

No, it isn't.

Nobody here has a great sex life.

Nonsense!

Okay, let's hear what the guy who said "Nonsense!" has to say.

Do you have a solution to their troubles?

Well, how do you define satisfaction?

You're the only one here who's satisfied.

No, I'm satisfied too.

I'm not satisfied! Absolutely not!

I am.

I am too.

Let's set all embarrassment aside. I'll be the MC, okay?

Okay?

I'll take the lack of clapping as consent.

Rokko Toura...

do you know anything

about sexual fulfillment?

I do, but I -- You continue.

Fine, I'll ignore Rokko Toura...

and pan over to Masao Matsuda.

Masao Matsuda, are you or are you not sexually satisfied?

That's not the issue. Everyone here is sexually satisfied.

- Are you sexually satisfied? - I'm having sex.

And now, on to today's guest.

Mr. Tadashi Yamazaki.

Are you sexually satisfied or not?

- Sex... - Are you getting any?

Having sex? I sure am.

In other words, sex is not --

It's not a duty, is it? - It's --

Do you consider sex a duty? - No, I don't.

Okay, let's say I tell you that I love a woman.

Why do you think I'd say something so embarrassing?

How should I know?

Rokko Toura has announced that he loves a woman.

I find that rather hard to believe.

If I may be so bold what is love exactly?

- Well -- - Please answer.

Let's ask Kei Sato.

Love? Love isn't something you talk about.

Kei Sato on TV you look as if you've been

bleached out psychologically.

What's that like?

Shut up, boy!

What about it? - What about what?

You're worse than a boy!

I have my doubts.

On TV, instead of playing a character,

you look to me like you're simply being yourself.

So when you appear as yourself, as Kei Sato,

I'm not sure what to make of it.

- Why? - It's just confusing somehow.

- That's my intention. - That's your intention?

What kind of woman do I love?

That's an utterly trivial point.

That's something you either just understand or you don't.

One doesn't have to reveal everything about one's sex life.

- You're being difficult. - I'm what?

- Explain why you're being difficult. - How am I doing that?

In various ways.

You think I'm being difficult,

but I don't think I am at all.

Well --

You're being ridiculous, thinking that about me!

Don't be absurd. You're damn annoying.

When pigs fly! This is a waste of time.

So, Kei, if your partner doesn't matter here,

how is sex different from masturbation?

Let me put it this way:

As a phenomenon,

or physiologically,

during the act of coitus,

you fall into the illusion of becoming one with your partner.

But I think men and women experience that differently.

Nonsense.

- Why? - I think it's nonsense.

- Why? - I'll explain.

- Please do. - I'll answer.

Answer, please!

Yes, I'm getting to it.

The question is "What is sex?" generally speaking.

You mean for me?

I mean, I want to answer the question "What is sex?"

I'm thinking hard

about what to say.

But since it's not something I usually think about,

I really have to think hard.

For instance,

when I feel it's "sex time,"

when I think "just now sex time" --

or her shoulder, or neck, or tits --

you usually don't see the nipples --

but even when I see the upper part,

I think and think about it.

So are a woman's arms

simply there to allure men?

Are they just for embracing men? No, they're not.

Her arms are for washing cups, washing this, cleaning that.

Clearly they're there for that as well.

Simple example: During the Olympics --

Why is Toura explaining to everyone how he and his woman

are getting so serious?

My woman and I...

are pretty deeply involved...

but I doubt she's as hot for me as I am for her.

I even doubt my own feelings.

Because I feel this uncertainty, I want to go on living.

If nothing's in doubt, I feel no desire to go on living.

When we talk about sex, I want to talk about everything...

about how best to live.

That sums it up.

I don't think sexual liberation is possible.

In the end, it's up to each individual.

It should be left at that.

I find that much more beautiful.

Things like that report by Masters and Johnson,

all that information and statistics -- they mean nothing.

So...

Okay... well...

a man and a woman sleep together,

and there's a result.

I'm not talking about whether a child is born or not.

I'm just saying...

are they glad they had sex or not?

That's the point.

You're basically saying their enjoyment

depends on their partner's genitals.

Earlier you were talking about the Olympics and arms and whatnot.

You're just talking about parts and pieces.

Whether her genitals feel good or not --

that's just something she was born with.

You're talking nonsense.

Don't you appreciate something that's well-made?

That's irrelevant. Whether they're good genitals or not,

good sex means making the best of them, understand?

Even if they're not the best, even if they're awful...

good sex means making them tasty.

Okay, then just what is sex?

"Sex" should end with an S.

It's got to be plural.

That is, a man and a woman.

It can't just be masturbation.

"Having another person watch can also be enjoyable.

MAYOR OF THE NIGHT Then there was the 'kelp roll.'

Explanation may be superfluous but I offer it anyway.

Until around January 20th, geisha wear

a long kimono decorated with a thick, heavy sash.

They usually remove this sash after getting into bed,

but in this case they leave it on -- thus becoming a 'kelp roll'--

which is considered lucky if done in the first week of January.

When I heard that, I thought it sounded like fun.

So I agreed. But that wasn't enough.

So I made a suggestion:

'I'll be the subject for an experiment.

Let's have everyone hide and watch.'

Everyone was sure to agree.

So we arranged everything

and called in a young geisha.

The older geisha hid behind a shutter in the hall

and held their breath.

The young geisha was cuter than I expected.

I felt it was a bit cruel,

but I’d made a promise.

Now it was my duty to put on a good show.

To aid viewing, I pulled her out

FIVE DAYS LATER, SATURDAY AGAIN To aid viewing, I pulled her out

FIVE DAYS LATER, SATURDAY AGAIN

onto the tatami.

PARIS -- RAIN onto the tatami.

PARIS -- RAIN

PARIS -- RAIN She resisted, so I said, 'It's good luck,' and she was finally convinced.

She resisted, so I said, 'It's good luck,' and she was finally convinced.

SAIGON -- SUNNY She resisted, so I said, 'It's good luck,' and she was finally convinced.

SAIGON -- SUNNY

NAHA -- SUNNY AND 99 F She relented, but right in midcourse,

SHINJUKU -- CLEAR someone in the hallway coughed.

97 F, HUMIDITY 70% Panicking, I coughed twice as loud.

DISCOMFORT INDEX: 85 We concluded without incident.

After she left, we had a debriefing:

'Which of you coughed?'

The culprit didn't step forward. Our game had gone a bit too far.

If she'd heard the cough,

she might have complained about a violation of her human rights.

Even the older geisha would be in trouble."

A lonely winter's night

We embrace before a mirror

Even a wilted pomegranate blooms

A hungry winter's morning

We gouge out our Siamese cat's eyes

And stuff them in our mouths

The dead give birth in their graves

There's a place across the river.

It's called the Shower Inn.

As it is with cars, so it is with relationships.

There's an element of timing in starting the engine.

When the timing is good...

it suddenly begins to rain

at exactly the right moment.

See, when a man and a woman

are caught together in the rain,

it works out very well.

In other words,

if the woman says she has to leave,

and it starts raining,

especially if the rain starts

when you're having trouble keeping up a conversation,

you both suddenly feel very close.

Everything at the inn is so well arranged

for the man and the woman.

The owners create an atmosphere of passion.

They're very attentive to those things.

They really do their best.

If you can't close the deal in a place like that, forget it.

That's how good it is there.

As I said before, in front there's a little door.

It’s like the door to a tearoom.

You walk into an eight-mat room.

Because of how tearooms are built,

it looks larger than eight mats.

Surprisingly,

the entire floor

is covered wall to wall with futons.

It's-- how shall I put it?

It arouses sexual desire as if by magic.

If you go there and nothing happens,

come back and we'll talk again. But go try.

I stole this from Dr. Takahashi's place.

Let's do her!

Let's do her!

Help!

Help!

Help!

Don't kill me.

Ali Baba

Town of mystery

Someone asks you

Morning in the sea

Noon on a hill

Night in the river

Who is it?

Bero-bero, a little boy

This is Ali Baba

Town of mystery

An unsolvable solvable riddle

Tonight the owl won't hoot

UMEKO SUZUKI WAS RAPED

BY TWO MEN

WHAT WAS BIRDMAN DOING?

TOKYO, SHINJUKU: FAIR

SAIGON: JAPAN-CLEAR SKIES

I'm going.

Birdman!

BIRDMAN!

UMEKO SAID TO BIRDMAN:

"IS IT OVER?"

OF COURSE, BIRDMAN DIDN'T ANSWER

"LET'S DO IT."

BIRDMAN: "..."

Let's do it.

SHINJUKU

SUNDAY

You wanna see the goods? I'll show you.

Juro Kara, pretty boy of the Showa Golden Age,

has a huge one!

Dad and Mom embraced, and I was born from a peach.

Wanna pay your respects? Hand over the fee!

JURO KARA'S JOKYO GEKIJO PRESENTS SHOSETSU YUI

Terribly sorry.

We'll get you high. Midnight.

Hanazono shrine. Come and you'll see!

SHINJUKU MONDAY 5:30 P.M.

BIRDMAN IS STANDING HERE.

STANDING.

What's Mr. Tanabe's extension?

- His extension? - 2-0-0.

Hello? Mr. Tanabe, please.

This is Birdman Hilltop.

Is this Mr. Tanabe?

No, it didn't work.

Yes, I'm here. Of course she's here.

Mr. Tanabe said to meet him at the Capricorn at 8:30.

8:30.

For the longest time

I was a barber

In Shinjuku behind the Isetan department store

My mama hustled up business

It was a life free of want

On Sundays not a cloud in the sky

We'd get all dressed up

And draw the housewives in

And enjoy chopping off their heads

Behold, behold

How the razor dances!

Behold, behold

How the heads fly!

"What a tranquil Sunday!

The little birds are nibbling on scallions!

Long live the barber!"

I...

was hiding...

in the restroom.

DIARY OF A THIEF

I am Jean Genet.

"Convicts' garb is striped pink and white.

Though it was at my heart's bidding

that I chose the universe wherein I delight,

I at least have the power

of finding therein the many meanings I wish to find:

there is a close relationship between flowers and convicts."

THE MYSTICISM OF SIMONE WEIL

THE MYSTICISM OF SIMONE WEIL "The true witness is one

who bears witness within the depths of poverty, misery, despair, and disgrace."

COLLECTED WRITINGS OF SAKUTARO HAGIWARA

"I'll tear up my miserable writings

and throw the scraps into the Tone River.

I'm as hungry as a wolf. I clutch at the railing and grind my teeth.

But in vain! Something like tears flow down my cheeks.

I've been contemptible all along! Men lead heavily laden horses past.

On this cold day, the sky darkens over the plain."

COLLECTED WRITINGS VOL. 3 "If it would serve to free the human race,

I believe that even sex with animals,

or copulation in public view, or incest should be encouraged."

"But if I said here come Mr. Clay Mr. Tree, Mr. Fish, Mr. Bird,

you would not know what color he is until you saw him.

He could be Negro or white because the people put at

two million Negroes as the Honorable Elijah Muhammad teaches us here

are named after the masters when we were freed a hundred years ago."

"My loneliness was clearly trying to move

to a place where my soul couldn't follow.

I could discern the reason I had to become angry

in the shape of my loneliness."

TAKAAKI YOSHIMOTO: POETRY in the shape of my loneliness."

"When I grew up/Because my lover was a boy/I had to be a girl

Because everyone except my lover/ Became a girl

TAEKO TOMIOKA: GIRLFRIENDS I became a boy for everyone else

TAEKO TOMIOKA: GIRLFRIENDS

TAEKO TOMIOKA: GIRLFRIENDS Because I felt bad for my lover

TAEKO TOMIOKA: GIRLFRIENDS

TAEKO TOMIOKA: GIRLFRIENDS And because he wouldn't sleep with me, I became a girl."

And because he wouldn't sleep with me, I became a girl."

"The question of women in the collective farms is a big question, comrades.

I know that many of you

underestimate the women and even laugh at them.

But that is a mistake, comrades,

a serious mistake."

"She takes out from her pocket the operating Gikuyu razor.

With a stroke she cuts off the tip of the clitoris.

As no other part of the sexual organ is touched, the operation is complete.

In a moment each girl is covered with a new dress by her sponsor.

At this juncture the silence is broken,

and the crowd begins to sing joyously in these words:

FACING MOUNT KENYA

FACING MOUNT KENYA Our children are brave! Hurrah!

Our children are brave! Hurrah!

Did anyone cry? No one cried. Hurrah!"

"We shouldn't have learned words

Because we learned Japanese and a few foreign phrases...

I stand still within your tears...

TAMURA RYUICHI: POETRY

TAMURA RYUICHI: POETRY and return home, all alone, in your blood."

and return home, all alone, in your blood."

"Not being a monk, I can't seek nirvana at will.

Besides, I have a lust for life. So I ran away.

That night I burned old letters from friends,

picked up my son, and went with my wife to an inn.

Within days rumors had spread that I’d been arrested or killed,

but of Rou Shi there was almost no news.

Some said the police had taken him to Tomorrow Books

to see if he was an editor there.

Others said he was taken to Bei Xin Books

to confirm he was Rou Shi.

Since he was handcuffed, his case must have been serious.

Some said he might be released on bail,

while others said he'd already been sent to Nanjing. Nothing was certain.

More telegrams and letters arrived asking for news of me.

Even my mother in Beijing fell ill from anxiety,

and I had to answer every letter to quash the rumors.

This went on about three weeks.

The cold grew more bitter,

and I wondered if Rou Shi had quilts where he was, as we did.

Had the tin bowls reached him?

But then we got reliable news:

Rou Shi and 23 others,

on the night of February 7th or the morning of the 8th,

had been shot at the Lunghua Garrison.

There were ten bullets in his body. So that's what happened.

Late at night I stood in the courtyard of the inn,

surrounded by piled-up junk.

I felt deeply my loss of a good friend

and China’s loss of a fine young man.

When my sorrow and rage had calmed,

force of habit reasserted itself

and resulted in these verses:

'Used to the long, sleepless nights of spring

I flee with wife and child, my temples gray.

In my dream a mother's tears, on city walls the banners of "great kings."

I can only stand and watch as friends become ghosts.

I angrily face a thicket of knives in search of verse.

I chant my poem and look down -- such thoughts cannot be written.

Watery moonlight shimmers on my jet-black gown.'"

Her last name is Suzuki

Her first name is Umeko

Kinokuniya Bookstore.

I'm on the second floor.

I'm locked in and can't get out.

Let's talk outside.

Let's go outside.

Let's talk outside.

Come on, let's talk outside.

We meet again.

I think I've got the picture.

I've never been averse to love affairs myself,

so I've put up with you two this far,

but let's bring our little drama to an end now.

Pervert!

"A real man is sexual,

yet at the same time something more.

But a real woman is nothing apart from her sexuality."

Otto Weininger.

Ms. Suzuki, you're acting strangely. You should stop there.

I've done a lot of wild things in my time --

well, a few --

and I don't intend to pursue you two any further.

In baseball,

if you take it easy in the early innings,

you'll find yourself losing in the ninth.

Please buy this girl.

That's enough. I get it.

Please buy her.

That's right.

I'm a whore.

A prostitute.

A good-time girl.

I was gang-raped.

Your bodies make a nice composition, like a swastika,

but I feel bad for the books.

I am those books.

Please buy her.

The game is over.

I knew from the start you were only pretending to be my employee.

Umeko Suzuki has just been bought

with this money.

DIARY OF A SHINJUKU THIEF

Now I've bought you.

DIARY OF A SHINJUKU THIEF

GOING HOME...

THERE ARE ODIOUS THINGS IN THE WORLD

THE NIGHT DEEPENS AGAIN

AS I TRUDGE HOME

One, two, three, four,

five, six, seven, eight, 35, 46, 150, 1,000, 10,000 people.

Everybody waiting, doing nothing but waiting,

waiting to see the show:

Juro Kara's Shosetsu Yui.

Idiots. They could perform it themselves.

"This is the office at the Hanazono shrine.

Tonight's performance is canceled.

Everybody please break it up."

But Umeko and I can't break up.

I have 30,000 yen. They say everyone leaves you when you're broke.

I took Umeko's money for when I want to leave.

We're not beggars. We're really thieves.

Mr. Tanabe couldn't understand that.

That's why he didn’t join us.

I think Umeko wanted to steal Mr. Tanabe's manhood,

and I wanted to steal sex from Umeko.

He wanted no part of it.

He taught us many things,

but he might as well have taught us nothing at all.

Normally we'd split the 30,000 so I could buy a girl for 15,000

and Umeko could buy a boy,

and we could break up.

But rather than buy a girl, I wanted to become one,

though I don't know if Umeko wants to be a boy...

May I make an offering to the spirits?

Why?

Did you kill someone? - Not yet.

I'd take one of these and whip it out.

Or wear a woman's costume. - Are you an actor?

Watching plays, acting in them -- neither is any fun.

Then why'd you act like a bookstore clerk?

Perfect fit, huh? - It's obscene.

What are you looking to do?

I want to try being someone else.

- You mean it? - Yes.

Then you can be Shosetsu Yui.

Don't do it.

There's something wrong with him.

It's all lies.

He's too spineless to play Shosetsu Yui.

- Oddballs make better actors. - But he's a rank amateur --

I can see it in his eyes: the eyes of a thief.

In 80 years of modern Japanese drama no thief ever became an actor.

We can use that as a selling point on the marquee.

The word "kabuki" comes from

means "to act boldly and dramatically."

The actors weren't the shogun's retainers but social outcasts

chased into the riverbeds. That's what made them great.

But I won't show you the trapdoor that leads to the riverbed, you hear?

You have to find your own.

If you don't find it,

and people start praising you

with terms like "underground" and "psychedelic,"

you'll start feeling you've made it before you really have.

Head for sale!

Head for sale!

Who are you?

Shosetsu Yui!

Head for sale!

Your head!

- Give it here! - Get out, you crazy bitch!

Get out.

What a strange face!

"I'm really getting it tonight."

Why are you helping him?

Who are you? Tell me your name.

Shosetsu Yui.

"It's not just the town that's crazy!"

That's right. It's you and him and everyone.

I know you.

You ran away, didn't you? Coward!

You're the one who killed your comrades.

You watched as you had them killed.

"You're the one who had your comrades killed!"

"Don't confuse me with someone else, hag!"

"Don't confuse me with someone else, hag!"

Listen to the crow caw as it flies away!

Call out his name once more!

Once more! All together!

Caw! Caw!

Caw!

"You dare call me a caw?"

- You dare call me a caw? - What?

Maruboshi, stand up!

Wait a minute.

Let me hear your name again.

What did you say your name was?

Shosetsu Yui.

Yui: "Can anything compare with" Shosetsu: "Pure snow"

That voice, those teeth,

those big ears, that strong odor,

that sash, that expression, those gestures,

that way of adjusting his loincloth as he walks without using his hands.

Shosetsu was raised by me, Yozakura.

Impostor! You're not Shosetsu Yui.

"That's right!"

"Then who do you say I am, hag?"

Who do you say he is?

Stop!

Get out of the way!

Impostor! Shameless impostor!

If you were Shosetsu, I'd recognize you.

You senile old streetwalker!

I'll strike your vital points!

What the hell are you doing?

A blow to your vital point!

Pure snow... can anything compare?

Stay away from her!

JOKYO GEKIJO SPIRIT PERFORMANCE

AUDIENCE:

1,000 GIRLS

AUDIENCE:

10,000 POLICEMEN

"A man should never leave his promises in a woman's hands.

A man should only pass over a woman.

A man should only pass over a woman."

"Hurry up and pass over."

"This is also true of that immense woman, the nation.

Man must not serve woman.

What is a woman?" - I am!

"Chuya, women are a pitfall.

Women do not wait for men."

"Chuya, men are a pitfall!

Men do not wait for women."

"Women, Chuya, are waiting below

at your feet...

to swallow you up like an octopus trap.

They just want you.

They're like octopus traps that swallow men's dreams.

Chuya, there are no women.

Believe me,

there's no such thing as a woman in this world!"

- Hey! - I'm going to clean up.

Wait.

Excuse us.

Hold on. What are you doing?

I said wait a second!

What costume do I wear next?

Believe me, there are no women.

Neither what you nor I imagine as a woman exists.

Water sprite!

Pay no attention to her.

All we need do is close our eyes

and pass over her like a breeze.

But after all, Japan is an island nation.

She keeps her legs crossed just like a woman

for fear of attack from the outside.

Europe seems so much better.

Holland, Italy, Germany, Afghanistan --

they're all just whorehouses wearing goddesses' crowns.

In the West, ten women wait for one man.

But in this country, one woman toys with ten men.

You're not Shosetsu anymore. Let's go.

- Hasn't it stopped yet? - It's still dribbling out.

Chuya, believe that there is no woman.

Powerful men have always ruled this country,

but in the end, the country raped all her rulers.

Men today must raise themselves above the men of the past.

No, pay no attention to her.

Shosetsu...

stop whining like a mistress's son! - Damn it!

After all, here we have a fine woman named Ogin.

With your arbitrary theories about women,

Ogin won't know what to do with herself.

Your ideas are just those of a bachelor's utopia.

Weak!

You're just an undernourished king of weak ideas.

Oh, poor thing!

Oh, poor thing!

Since my family was poor

I went to work in an oil shop when I was little

They let me out once a year

To go to the winter cherry market fair

The boss's wife was a nasty woman

Who suspected something between me and her husband

I trembled in fear, year after year

She shot sharp glances at me as I swept or served rice

And of course when I looked at the boss

She paid me so much attention that the boss started too as well

One night, as I returned home from the baths

He beckoned me from behind a trashcan

"Ogin, come here and show me your ass"

I didn’t like him, but I let him have his way

It didn't hurt but I pretended it did

In due course his wife found out

One night I wrapped my things in a bundle

And went to work in a bicycle shop -- - Poor thing!

The boss this time had palsy

No worries from him

But his idiot son Yochan

Came crawling under my covers every night

"Yochan, why do you bring your freezing feet into my bed?"

No matter how many times I refused,

Yochan would burst out laughing and say,

"Ogin, let me suck your 'winter cherries.'

Where did you pick them?

I'd like to buy some an suck them dry."

"Don't be silly! Like I'd ever be the plaything of an idiot like you!"

The shoji whooshed open, and who was there but the old boss.

With a pump in one hand, he screams,

"Where's the flat tire?"

He grabs my breast and tries to blow air into it, cheeks bellowing.

"That's no inner tube!"

Yet he keeps puffing furiously.

Stupid Yochan and his pathetic dad came to blows over whether...

How awful it must have been!

...whether it was a winter cherry or a flat tire. What a fight!

Without a word

I fled into the night

And wandered down the road

Holding my sandals in one hand

Trudging along, where shall I go?

I asked the stars in vain

As the night quietly deepened

The quiet Edo night

I got soaked

In the evening dew

It was then that I learned

With a delighted laugh of recognition

Just how sad

A woman's fate can be

Woof woof!

What are you doing?

Shall we steal it?

DIARY OF A SHINJUKU THIEF

- It's all your fault! - I'm sorry!

Go find it!

Hanbei, call my name.

Didn't I tell you to tell me who I am

whenever I cut down somebody standing in my way?

You tell me to take off this mask.

My hands are too slippery with blood!

You tell me to show my face behind the mask.

My hands slip.

I didn't realize blood was this oily.

Head for sale!

That head is sold!

You want that head?

Or this one?

Which will it be?

I...

I'll have this head!

No!

What big, fluffy snowflakes!

I am Shosetsu Yui.

Please return my husband's head.

Juro Kara, it's my fault it was stolen.

So don't stop me.

DIARY OF A SHINJUKU THIEF

What's this? Where'd you get that scar?

This? I was about 18.

I was walking around Shinjuku

when a boy of about 14

started following me.

I didn't realize he was following me.

I just kept on walking,

and he suddenly ran towards me

He was probably disturbed.

He stabbed me and then ran off.

What did he stab you with? Did he attack from behind?

Yes. It seems it was a random attack.

But he quickly ran off,

so I couldn't tell.

Apparently he stabbed two or three other girls,

and he was caught soon thereafter.

I later asked the police.

It seems he was an American.

Did you realize right away you'd been stabbed?

Only when I started bleeding.

But since he was an American,

alone in Japan without his parents,

I think he just kind of cracked

for all sorts of reasons, and that's why he did it.

So I felt sorry for him and didn't blame him.

But I do feel something like rage toward nothing in particular.

After that...

did you perhaps, because of what had happened,

develop a phobia of men?

I don't think that had anything to do with it.

So it has no connection with sex?

No, there's no connection like that.

But actually...

I was afraid of men for about a month.

So you don't think that that scar was also a wound to your heart?

Well, it did have some effect on me.

Not a good one, I imagine.

Not a good effect, but it was a singular event,

so in terms of its place in my life,

I think getting stabbed was a big deal.

Well, in the case -- how should I put it? --

Maybe you should treasure that scar.

Yes, of course.

Cops, go home!