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Previously on The Affair:
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00:00:05,834 --> 00:00:07,754
-[Bram] Do I know you?
-[Cole] Think you decked me
3
00:00:07,834 --> 00:00:09,584
-with your board this morning.
-Yeah.
4
00:00:09,667 --> 00:00:10,327
Yo, let me
make it up to you.
5
00:00:18,291 --> 00:00:21,041
[Cole] I just watched you
freebasing, asshole.
6
00:00:21,125 --> 00:00:23,075
Why don't you give
the police a call, huh?
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00:00:23,166 --> 00:00:24,416
Love to tell them who sold me
my first eight-ball,
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00:00:24,500 --> 00:00:27,080
Mr. Lockhart.
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00:00:27,166 --> 00:00:29,916
Cole, she abandoned
her daughter on our doorstep.
10
00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:31,000
-She is still Joanie's mother.
-She doesn't deserve to be.
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00:00:31,083 --> 00:00:33,753
[Cole] Well, what do you
want me to do?
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00:00:33,834 --> 00:00:35,084
[Luisa] Let's give her
what she wants
13
00:00:35,166 --> 00:00:35,706
so we can stop
thinking about her.
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00:00:35,792 --> 00:00:37,132
I'm not a fan of Alison.
15
00:00:37,208 --> 00:00:39,748
She should have
her daughter back.
16
00:00:39,834 --> 00:00:40,924
We did the right thing.
17
00:00:42,208 --> 00:00:43,538
Oh, shit.
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00:00:45,208 --> 00:00:45,328
Hi, Officer.
19
00:00:47,333 --> 00:00:48,833
I hate that a fucking cop
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00:00:48,917 --> 00:00:50,827
can pull me over,
and my only hope
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00:00:50,917 --> 00:00:52,457
is that you know him
22
00:00:52,542 --> 00:00:54,132
and he likes you
so he won't fuck with me.
23
00:00:54,208 --> 00:00:56,378
Maybe we can try again
to get you a green card.
24
00:00:56,458 --> 00:00:57,578
How?
25
00:00:57,667 --> 00:00:59,627
I have no children
of my own.
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00:00:59,709 --> 00:01:01,459
I can't demonstrate hardship.
27
00:01:01,542 --> 00:01:03,132
Guess where I was this morning.
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00:01:03,208 --> 00:01:04,128
-[Cole] I got no idea, Ali.
-I was at Woodlawn.
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00:01:04,208 --> 00:01:05,918
[Alison] Someone like me,
with my experience,
30
00:01:06,000 --> 00:01:08,290
I could turn this into a career.
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00:01:08,375 --> 00:01:09,205
A career?
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00:01:09,291 --> 00:01:11,961
I'm just trying
to move on with my life.
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00:01:12,041 --> 00:01:14,001
I would hardly call
what you're doing moving on.
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00:01:14,083 --> 00:01:16,133
-Why not?
-You have practically
35
00:01:16,208 --> 00:01:17,418
made his death
your entire identity.
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00:01:17,500 --> 00:01:20,170
[Dr. Parry] That conference
I was telling you about,
37
00:01:20,250 --> 00:01:21,290
it's happening in Montauk.
38
00:01:21,375 --> 00:01:22,785
[knocking]
39
00:01:22,875 --> 00:01:24,955
Is, uh... is this
the grant coordinator's office?
40
00:01:25,041 --> 00:01:28,001
-Hi. I'm Alison.
-Ben.
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00:01:28,083 --> 00:01:30,923
How long do you have left
with your program?
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00:01:31,000 --> 00:01:32,580
Five months, two weeks
and three days.
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00:01:32,667 --> 00:01:33,287
But who's counting?
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00:01:42,083 --> 00:01:44,503
♪ I was screaming
into the canyon ♪
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00:01:44,583 --> 00:01:47,673
♪ At the moment of my death ♪
46
00:01:47,750 --> 00:01:51,290
♪ The echo I created ♪
47
00:01:51,375 --> 00:01:54,825
♪ Outlasted my last breath ♪
48
00:01:54,917 --> 00:01:57,877
♪ My voice it made
an avalanche ♪
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00:01:57,959 --> 00:02:00,209
♪ And buried a man
I never knew ♪
50
00:02:00,291 --> 00:02:04,171
♪ And when he died,
his widowed bride ♪
51
00:02:04,250 --> 00:02:06,080
♪ Met your daddy
and they made you ♪
52
00:02:06,166 --> 00:02:09,036
♪ I have only one thing to do ♪
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00:02:09,125 --> 00:02:11,205
♪ And that's be the wave
that I am, and then ♪
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00:02:11,291 --> 00:02:13,881
♪ Sink back into the ocean ♪
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00:02:13,959 --> 00:02:15,789
♪ I have only one thing to do ♪
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00:02:15,875 --> 00:02:18,035
♪ And that's be the wave
that I am, and then ♪
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00:02:18,125 --> 00:02:20,035
♪ Sink back into the ocean ♪
58
00:02:20,125 --> 00:02:21,375
♪ I have only one thing to do ♪
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00:02:21,458 --> 00:02:24,578
♪ And that's be the wave
that I am, and then ♪
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00:02:24,667 --> 00:02:27,917
♪ Sink back into the ocean,
sink back into the ocean ♪
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00:02:28,000 --> 00:02:29,710
♪ Sink back into the o... ♪
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00:02:29,792 --> 00:02:30,882
♪ Sink back into the ocean ♪
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00:02:30,959 --> 00:02:32,879
♪ Sink back into the o... ♪
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00:02:32,959 --> 00:02:34,709
♪ Sink back into the ocean ♪
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00:02:34,792 --> 00:02:36,832
♪ Sink back
into the ocean ♪
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00:02:50,875 --> 00:02:52,415
[Cole]
What are you implying?
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00:02:52,500 --> 00:02:54,130
[Jeffries] I'm not
implying anything, Cole.
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00:02:54,208 --> 00:02:55,828
I'm asking.
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00:02:55,917 --> 00:02:58,167
Look, Alison has a history
of depression, so...
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00:02:58,250 --> 00:03:00,210
how has she seemed
to you lately?
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00:03:00,291 --> 00:03:01,631
How has she been feeling?
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00:03:01,709 --> 00:03:03,329
How's she been feeling?
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00:03:03,417 --> 00:03:04,077
She's been happy.
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00:03:04,166 --> 00:03:06,536
She's been fine-- for years now.
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00:03:06,625 --> 00:03:08,665
And she wouldn't do
something like that to Joanie.
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00:03:08,750 --> 00:03:09,790
Just relax, Cole.
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00:03:09,875 --> 00:03:11,165
Jeffries is
trying to help.
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00:03:11,250 --> 00:03:12,750
Wait. Is that Solloway?
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00:03:12,834 --> 00:03:14,134
Hi, Detective.
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00:03:14,208 --> 00:03:15,628
We appreciate
all you're doing.
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00:03:15,709 --> 00:03:17,209
No, we don't.
82
00:03:17,291 --> 00:03:19,291
He's not concentrated
on the right things.
83
00:03:19,375 --> 00:03:21,325
What about the guy
she's been seeing?
84
00:03:21,417 --> 00:03:22,417
Uh, Benjamin Cruz.
85
00:03:22,500 --> 00:03:25,750
-Does he have an alibi?
-An alibi for what?
86
00:03:25,834 --> 00:03:28,134
Look, this isn't a crime
investigation, Cole.
87
00:03:28,208 --> 00:03:31,458
Alison is missing,
so we're focusing on her.
88
00:03:31,542 --> 00:03:33,422
Just give me a call
if you remember something.
89
00:03:33,500 --> 00:03:34,960
Things she was concerned about.
90
00:03:35,041 --> 00:03:37,171
Any irrational behavior.
Maybe even--
91
00:03:37,250 --> 00:03:38,630
Oh, Jesus Christ!
92
00:03:38,709 --> 00:03:40,039
I told you she's been fine!
93
00:03:40,125 --> 00:03:41,205
[Noah]
Anton.
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00:03:41,291 --> 00:03:43,041
Let's pull off up here.
95
00:03:43,125 --> 00:03:45,205
Let's get something to eat.
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00:03:45,291 --> 00:03:45,501
Sure.
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00:03:55,375 --> 00:03:56,325
[cell phone ringing]
98
00:03:59,792 --> 00:04:01,462
Oh, fuck.
99
00:04:03,709 --> 00:04:05,289
You want to get that?
100
00:04:05,375 --> 00:04:06,995
I'll grab you something.
101
00:04:07,083 --> 00:04:08,383
Thank you.
102
00:04:13,166 --> 00:04:16,326
Hey, Luisa. How are you?
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00:04:18,500 --> 00:04:20,250
[Noah, chuckling]
Secretary of state?
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00:04:20,333 --> 00:04:21,543
Why not the president?
105
00:04:21,625 --> 00:04:22,245
Too much work.
106
00:04:22,333 --> 00:04:23,883
[Noah and Alison chuckling]
107
00:04:23,959 --> 00:04:26,169
Well, we have to go now.
108
00:04:26,250 --> 00:04:27,580
I have to brush
someone's teeth.
109
00:04:27,667 --> 00:04:29,497
-I can do it myself.
-Yeah.
110
00:04:29,583 --> 00:04:30,423
Bye, Noah. See you later.
111
00:04:30,500 --> 00:04:33,380
Bye, Joanie.
Thanks for talking to me.
112
00:04:33,458 --> 00:04:35,328
Okay, brush 'em all,
even the back ones.
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00:04:35,417 --> 00:04:35,707
I'm gonna check.
114
00:04:35,792 --> 00:04:37,462
I will.
115
00:04:39,709 --> 00:04:40,579
[sighs]
116
00:04:40,667 --> 00:04:42,917
So...
117
00:04:43,000 --> 00:04:44,380
So.
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00:04:44,458 --> 00:04:47,668
Uh, I should probably
get going myself.
119
00:04:47,750 --> 00:04:49,540
Yeah.
120
00:04:49,625 --> 00:04:51,125
You look good.
121
00:04:52,291 --> 00:04:52,961
Thank you.
122
00:04:53,041 --> 00:04:55,541
Are you good?
123
00:04:55,625 --> 00:04:57,375
Yeah, I think so.
124
00:04:57,458 --> 00:04:58,708
You?
125
00:04:58,792 --> 00:05:00,422
Yeah, I'm fine.
126
00:05:00,500 --> 00:05:03,750
Helen's kind of making it
a Herculean task
127
00:05:03,834 --> 00:05:05,384
to see the kids, but...
128
00:05:05,458 --> 00:05:07,038
Well, isn't that
why you're out there?
129
00:05:07,125 --> 00:05:08,705
Sure is, but you know Helen.
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00:05:08,792 --> 00:05:10,082
Why make things simple
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00:05:10,166 --> 00:05:11,826
when they can be
painful and difficult?
132
00:05:12,750 --> 00:05:16,210
Yeah, well, you're doing
the right thing.
133
00:05:16,291 --> 00:05:17,461
Your kids will know
that you fought to see them.
134
00:05:17,542 --> 00:05:21,582
And it will mean something
to them one day.
135
00:05:21,667 --> 00:05:23,127
Hope so.
136
00:05:23,208 --> 00:05:25,878
Believe me,
my dad didn't, so I know.
137
00:05:26,583 --> 00:05:28,793
Hey, I sent you something.
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00:05:28,875 --> 00:05:29,745
[laughs]
139
00:05:29,834 --> 00:05:31,214
Oh, God, what?
140
00:05:31,291 --> 00:05:33,381
Nothing. It's just a gift card.
141
00:05:33,458 --> 00:05:35,788
What kind of gift card?
142
00:05:35,875 --> 00:05:38,075
To buy a plane ticket
to California
143
00:05:38,166 --> 00:05:39,626
for you and Joanie,
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00:05:39,709 --> 00:05:40,459
in case you ever
need to get away.
145
00:05:44,125 --> 00:05:46,665
I'd like to see her again,
Alison, in person.
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00:05:46,750 --> 00:05:49,790
'Cause, you know,
I did raise that child
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00:05:49,875 --> 00:05:52,455
as my own daughter for the
first two years of her life.
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00:05:52,542 --> 00:05:54,002
I know.
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00:05:54,083 --> 00:05:56,503
Because, you know,
I thought she was my daughter.
150
00:05:56,583 --> 00:05:58,083
Yes. [chuckles]
151
00:05:58,166 --> 00:06:01,246
Just keep it for a rainy day.
152
00:06:04,333 --> 00:06:05,543
Okay.
153
00:06:05,625 --> 00:06:06,825
I will.
154
00:06:06,917 --> 00:06:08,627
Thank you.
155
00:06:10,000 --> 00:06:11,580
Good luck out there.
156
00:06:11,667 --> 00:06:13,417
You, too.
157
00:06:13,500 --> 00:06:15,130
Okay.
158
00:06:20,083 --> 00:06:22,173
[quiet, indistinct chatter]
159
00:06:29,041 --> 00:06:29,581
[woman]
Here you go. Enjoy.
160
00:06:31,709 --> 00:06:32,629
Hi.
161
00:06:32,709 --> 00:06:33,789
Hi. May I help you?
162
00:06:33,875 --> 00:06:35,535
Um, Bailey, Alison.
163
00:06:35,625 --> 00:06:37,035
Let's see. Yes.
164
00:06:37,125 --> 00:06:39,625
Uh-huh, there you go.
165
00:06:40,875 --> 00:06:43,625
-There you are.
-Ah. Thank you.
166
00:06:43,709 --> 00:06:44,829
Enjoy the conference.
167
00:06:44,917 --> 00:06:46,377
Thanks.
168
00:06:47,417 --> 00:06:48,707
[clears throat]
169
00:07:21,375 --> 00:07:22,375
[inhales deeply]
170
00:07:22,458 --> 00:07:23,538
Close your eyes.
171
00:07:23,625 --> 00:07:26,245
[exhales]
172
00:07:26,333 --> 00:07:27,583
Take a breath.
173
00:07:27,667 --> 00:07:28,997
[inhales deeply]
174
00:07:29,083 --> 00:07:30,543
[exhales]
175
00:07:32,959 --> 00:07:34,879
What do you notice?
176
00:07:40,667 --> 00:07:42,037
The kitchen sink is...
177
00:07:42,125 --> 00:07:45,455
full of dirty dishes.
178
00:07:47,458 --> 00:07:49,538
Okay. Good.
179
00:07:49,625 --> 00:07:50,995
Go with that.
180
00:07:58,125 --> 00:07:59,075
[inhales deeply]
181
00:07:59,166 --> 00:08:00,916
Close your eyes.
182
00:08:01,000 --> 00:08:03,040
[exhales]
183
00:08:03,125 --> 00:08:04,575
Take a breath.
184
00:08:08,375 --> 00:08:10,165
What do you notice?
185
00:08:15,291 --> 00:08:17,921
My mother is standing
in the doorway.
186
00:08:19,625 --> 00:08:21,575
She's...
187
00:08:21,667 --> 00:08:23,037
holding a letter.
188
00:08:23,709 --> 00:08:25,329
[Dr. Junkin]
Okay, good.
189
00:08:25,417 --> 00:08:26,997
Let's go with that.
190
00:08:27,083 --> 00:08:31,003
Another option if the patient
is stuck is to, um...
191
00:08:31,083 --> 00:08:33,673
to press on their hands,
on the palms like this.
192
00:08:36,125 --> 00:08:37,665
Okay.
193
00:08:42,166 --> 00:08:43,536
[inhales deeply]
194
00:08:43,625 --> 00:08:44,705
Take a breath.
195
00:08:44,792 --> 00:08:45,672
[exhales]
196
00:08:45,750 --> 00:08:47,250
Close your eyes.
197
00:08:49,125 --> 00:08:50,875
What do you notice?
198
00:08:55,250 --> 00:08:58,880
She's crying.
199
00:08:58,959 --> 00:09:00,879
She's apologizing.
200
00:09:05,417 --> 00:09:07,707
She's saying
that she knew all along.
201
00:09:11,208 --> 00:09:13,128
That's good.
202
00:09:15,000 --> 00:09:16,580
Okay. Thank you
so much, Tria.
203
00:09:16,667 --> 00:09:19,287
We're gonna
stop here, okay?
204
00:09:19,375 --> 00:09:22,375
When we started this session,
you said that your, um,
205
00:09:22,458 --> 00:09:24,878
distress and discomfort,
206
00:09:24,959 --> 00:09:27,579
having to keep
your sister's secret down
207
00:09:27,667 --> 00:09:29,287
for all those years...
208
00:09:29,375 --> 00:09:31,245
said it was about
a nine or a ten.
209
00:09:31,333 --> 00:09:32,923
Is that correct?
210
00:09:33,000 --> 00:09:35,540
-When I thought of it, yes.
-Right.
211
00:09:35,625 --> 00:09:37,125
You said you-you
didn't let yourself
212
00:09:37,208 --> 00:09:39,458
think about it
often, right?
213
00:09:39,542 --> 00:09:42,582
Because of how painful
it was for you?
214
00:09:42,667 --> 00:09:46,037
Would you do me a favor and
imagine that scene again now?
215
00:09:50,709 --> 00:09:52,079
And?
216
00:09:52,166 --> 00:09:55,496
What's the level
of your current discomfort?
217
00:10:00,291 --> 00:10:02,711
Maybe a... a two.
218
00:10:05,583 --> 00:10:07,333
[Tria chuckles]
219
00:10:07,417 --> 00:10:09,707
It feels further away.
220
00:10:11,375 --> 00:10:12,915
Like it's happening
to someone else.
221
00:10:18,166 --> 00:10:19,996
[Dr. Junkin]
Okay.
222
00:10:20,083 --> 00:10:22,423
So, the idea behind
223
00:10:22,500 --> 00:10:26,540
eye movement desensitization
and reprocessing-- EMDR--
224
00:10:26,625 --> 00:10:28,955
is to, um, reorganize
our memories
225
00:10:29,041 --> 00:10:32,711
such that they feel more neutral
and less, uh... less charged.
226
00:10:32,792 --> 00:10:34,082
Yeah?
227
00:10:34,166 --> 00:10:35,706
-Why does it work?
-[Dr. Junkin chuckles]
228
00:10:35,792 --> 00:10:38,332
Nobody knows for sure,
to be honest.
229
00:10:38,417 --> 00:10:41,247
But we hypothesize
that its effectiveness
230
00:10:41,333 --> 00:10:43,253
has something to do
with imitating
231
00:10:43,333 --> 00:10:45,043
what happens
in the brain during REM.
232
00:10:45,125 --> 00:10:46,625
Basically, we believe
that mental healing
233
00:10:46,709 --> 00:10:48,879
is a lot like
physical healing.
234
00:10:48,959 --> 00:10:50,879
Our body wants
to repair itself.
235
00:10:50,959 --> 00:10:54,459
But if a foreign object
or-or a... a repeated injury
236
00:10:54,542 --> 00:10:58,882
irritates a physical wound,
it's not going to heal.
237
00:10:58,959 --> 00:11:01,669
Our mind heals
from psychological trauma
238
00:11:01,750 --> 00:11:02,460
in very much
the same way.
239
00:11:02,542 --> 00:11:04,962
If the system
is blocked
240
00:11:05,041 --> 00:11:07,381
by a disturbing memory,
241
00:11:07,458 --> 00:11:09,788
the emotional wound
is going to fester,
242
00:11:09,875 --> 00:11:12,245
and it causes an intense
amount of suffering.
243
00:11:12,333 --> 00:11:14,043
So, what EMDR does,
basically,
244
00:11:14,125 --> 00:11:15,915
it's-it's, um...
it diffuses that block.
245
00:11:16,000 --> 00:11:16,920
It, uh,
246
00:11:17,000 --> 00:11:18,630
neutralizes its potency
247
00:11:18,709 --> 00:11:22,419
so that we can basically
heal our own minds.
248
00:11:24,166 --> 00:11:24,996
Yep, you in the back?
249
00:11:25,083 --> 00:11:27,633
[Ben] Can you, uh,
talk specifically
250
00:11:27,709 --> 00:11:28,959
about your experiences
251
00:11:29,041 --> 00:11:30,631
doing this kind of work
with veterans?
252
00:11:30,709 --> 00:11:32,379
[Dr. Junkin]
Excellent question.
253
00:11:32,458 --> 00:11:35,208
You know, in three separate
clinical trials last year alone,
254
00:11:35,291 --> 00:11:39,251
it was recently reported
that after 12 EMDR sessions
255
00:11:39,333 --> 00:11:42,083
77.7% of
combat veterans
256
00:11:42,166 --> 00:11:45,076
no longer met
the criteria for PTSD.
257
00:11:45,166 --> 00:11:46,666
All right, we're about
to take a break.
258
00:11:46,750 --> 00:11:50,540
Uh, find a partner.
Spread around.
259
00:11:50,625 --> 00:11:52,705
I want you to experience
this technique for yourselves.
260
00:11:52,792 --> 00:11:54,462
Take an hour
and, uh, come back here
261
00:11:54,542 --> 00:11:55,962
to discuss
your discoveries.
262
00:11:56,041 --> 00:11:56,331
Thank you, guys.
263
00:11:56,417 --> 00:11:58,287
[applause]
264
00:12:04,417 --> 00:12:06,327
[quiet, indistinct chatter]
265
00:12:06,417 --> 00:12:08,127
♪ atmospheric music ♪
266
00:12:08,208 --> 00:12:10,248
♪♪♪
267
00:12:31,166 --> 00:12:33,826
It's pretty
interesting stuff, huh?
268
00:12:33,917 --> 00:12:34,327
[laughing]
269
00:12:34,417 --> 00:12:36,747
You scared me.
270
00:12:36,834 --> 00:12:38,584
Oh, I'm sorry.
I'm not that terrifying.
271
00:12:38,667 --> 00:12:40,787
Do you forgive me?
272
00:12:40,875 --> 00:12:42,495
What are you doing here?
273
00:12:43,458 --> 00:12:45,128
Stalking you, of course.
274
00:12:46,542 --> 00:12:48,292
I'm kidding.
275
00:12:48,375 --> 00:12:51,825
Um, the VHA, they sent me here
to investigate this therapy.
276
00:12:51,917 --> 00:12:53,127
We think it could be
helpful for our guys.
277
00:12:53,208 --> 00:12:55,878
Oh.
278
00:12:55,959 --> 00:12:57,959
You want to try it out?
279
00:12:58,041 --> 00:12:59,831
Partner up?
280
00:12:59,917 --> 00:13:01,747
Um, yeah.
281
00:13:01,834 --> 00:13:02,174
Okay.
282
00:13:02,250 --> 00:13:04,170
Cool.
283
00:13:04,250 --> 00:13:04,790
Okay.
284
00:13:04,875 --> 00:13:07,285
Oh, sorry. [chuckles]
285
00:13:22,750 --> 00:13:24,040
[grunts]
286
00:13:24,125 --> 00:13:25,125
Okay.
287
00:13:36,875 --> 00:13:38,955
-All right, um...
-Okay.
288
00:13:41,583 --> 00:13:42,923
Let's see. Uh...
289
00:13:46,500 --> 00:13:48,960
It says, uh,
we can start with...
290
00:13:49,041 --> 00:13:51,131
taking an oral history
of each other.
291
00:13:52,041 --> 00:13:53,081
That sounds a little
dirty, doesn't it?
292
00:13:54,375 --> 00:13:55,455
Then, uh,
293
00:13:55,542 --> 00:13:58,252
we move on to the
294
00:13:58,333 --> 00:14:00,293
question and finger
metronome thing.
295
00:14:01,834 --> 00:14:03,084
Are you, uh...
296
00:14:03,166 --> 00:14:04,626
Are you nervous?
You seem nervous.
297
00:14:04,709 --> 00:14:06,459
-No, no, I'm... No.
-I'm nervous.
298
00:14:06,542 --> 00:14:07,962
Okay.
299
00:14:08,041 --> 00:14:10,631
I'm a little nervous.
300
00:14:10,709 --> 00:14:13,879
Never done anything
like this before, so...
301
00:14:13,959 --> 00:14:16,329
Yeah. Me, neither.
302
00:14:16,417 --> 00:14:19,167
Glad my first time
will be with you, though.
303
00:14:26,375 --> 00:14:27,575
So...
304
00:14:27,667 --> 00:14:29,377
what are your traumas?
305
00:14:30,542 --> 00:14:31,252
[chuckles softly]
306
00:14:31,333 --> 00:14:33,833
Um...
307
00:14:35,834 --> 00:14:38,584
Well, my dad left my mom,
308
00:14:38,667 --> 00:14:41,787
but that was before
I was born, so...
309
00:14:41,875 --> 00:14:44,165
Okay. Um...
310
00:14:44,250 --> 00:14:45,750
You said you were
twice divorced?
311
00:14:45,834 --> 00:14:46,214
Any trauma there?
312
00:14:50,125 --> 00:14:51,165
-What?
-[Alison chuckles]
313
00:14:51,250 --> 00:14:52,960
Okay, all right.
314
00:14:53,041 --> 00:14:55,081
Well, what does that
leave us with?
315
00:14:55,166 --> 00:14:57,126
Um, any phobias?
316
00:14:57,208 --> 00:14:59,208
Well, um...
317
00:14:59,875 --> 00:15:02,665
I don't love the ocean.
318
00:15:02,750 --> 00:15:03,960
Classic.
319
00:15:04,041 --> 00:15:05,461
Okay. Water.
320
00:15:05,542 --> 00:15:07,632
Um, let's start with that.
321
00:15:07,709 --> 00:15:08,789
You ready?
322
00:15:08,875 --> 00:15:10,205
Mm-hmm.
323
00:15:22,250 --> 00:15:23,710
Close your eyes.
324
00:15:25,667 --> 00:15:27,957
Think of the ocean.
325
00:15:28,041 --> 00:15:29,881
Okay.
326
00:15:32,834 --> 00:15:33,884
[both chuckle]
327
00:15:33,959 --> 00:15:34,079
Hold, please.
328
00:15:36,166 --> 00:15:36,536
You're a natural.
329
00:15:36,625 --> 00:15:38,495
Yeah. Hold on.
330
00:15:38,583 --> 00:15:39,333
Um... ah, here we go.
331
00:15:39,417 --> 00:15:41,077
It, uh... it says here
we can start
332
00:15:41,166 --> 00:15:44,626
with your earliest
memory of the trauma,
333
00:15:44,709 --> 00:15:47,169
your worst memory
or the most recent one.
334
00:15:47,250 --> 00:15:51,290
So, did something traumatic
happen in the ocean?
335
00:15:52,583 --> 00:15:54,833
Uh, yeah.
336
00:15:54,917 --> 00:15:56,167
Are you thinking
about it?
337
00:15:56,250 --> 00:15:57,540
-Mm-hmm.
-Okay.
338
00:15:57,625 --> 00:16:00,035
Just making sure
I'm doing it right.
339
00:16:00,125 --> 00:16:01,625
Um, okay.
340
00:16:01,709 --> 00:16:03,289
So, let's follow
my hand again.
341
00:16:14,750 --> 00:16:16,540
Close your eyes.
342
00:16:16,625 --> 00:16:18,665
Take a breath.
343
00:16:25,625 --> 00:16:27,415
What do you notice?
344
00:16:28,875 --> 00:16:30,705
I'm on the beach.
345
00:16:32,083 --> 00:16:34,043
What time
of day is it?
346
00:16:34,125 --> 00:16:35,665
Evening.
347
00:16:36,542 --> 00:16:39,212
Are you alone?
348
00:16:39,291 --> 00:16:41,211
No.
349
00:16:41,291 --> 00:16:44,171
I'm with some friends.
350
00:16:44,250 --> 00:16:46,250
We're having a barbecue.
351
00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:51,710
My son is playing in the surf.
352
00:16:52,875 --> 00:16:54,875
Your son?
353
00:16:58,583 --> 00:17:00,503
Okay.
354
00:17:00,583 --> 00:17:02,423
Good.
355
00:17:02,500 --> 00:17:03,130
Let's go with that.
356
00:17:16,667 --> 00:17:18,577
Close your eyes.
357
00:17:18,667 --> 00:17:20,497
Take a breath.
358
00:17:22,083 --> 00:17:24,043
What do you notice?
359
00:17:26,291 --> 00:17:28,171
It's getting late.
360
00:17:30,125 --> 00:17:32,535
The sun is going down,
and I'm cold.
361
00:17:38,917 --> 00:17:39,707
Okay.
362
00:17:39,792 --> 00:17:42,172
Let's go with that.
363
00:17:50,750 --> 00:17:52,330
Close your eyes.
364
00:17:53,792 --> 00:17:56,752
What do you notice?
365
00:18:03,083 --> 00:18:04,463
I-I don't know.
366
00:18:04,542 --> 00:18:05,712
Nothing. Just...
367
00:18:05,792 --> 00:18:07,712
-Nothing?
-Yeah.
368
00:18:07,792 --> 00:18:10,502
The beach, the sand,
our friends.
369
00:18:10,583 --> 00:18:11,423
It's more of the same.
370
00:18:13,875 --> 00:18:15,875
Okay. Um...
371
00:18:17,250 --> 00:18:19,460
We can try
this technique.
372
00:18:33,333 --> 00:18:35,543
Close your eyes.
373
00:18:40,834 --> 00:18:44,464
Now, what do
you notice?
374
00:18:47,333 --> 00:18:49,713
My husband isn't
paying attention.
375
00:18:51,208 --> 00:18:52,418
He's flirting with a woman.
376
00:18:54,792 --> 00:18:56,632
I just want to leave.
377
00:18:59,792 --> 00:19:01,042
I call out to my son.
378
00:19:01,125 --> 00:19:02,245
I tell him it's time
to come out.
379
00:19:05,542 --> 00:19:09,132
Cole says he's watching
the children and they're fine.
380
00:19:16,709 --> 00:19:18,419
Okay.
381
00:19:21,625 --> 00:19:22,995
Go with that.
382
00:19:40,333 --> 00:19:43,083
I'm inside my house.
383
00:19:43,166 --> 00:19:45,036
I've gone to get a blanket.
384
00:19:50,375 --> 00:19:52,575
I hear a commotion
from my window.
385
00:19:52,667 --> 00:19:54,877
Shouting.
386
00:19:54,959 --> 00:19:56,959
I look out, and I see
a group of people
387
00:19:57,041 --> 00:19:58,421
pulling something
from the water.
388
00:19:58,500 --> 00:19:59,330
It looks like a child.
389
00:20:04,667 --> 00:20:05,827
Okay. Good.
390
00:20:05,917 --> 00:20:09,037
Good. Let's go with that.
391
00:20:14,750 --> 00:20:17,000
Close your eyes.
392
00:20:19,583 --> 00:20:21,133
So...
393
00:20:21,208 --> 00:20:22,328
you're looking
out the window.
394
00:20:30,959 --> 00:20:33,289
I'm seeing something else now.
395
00:20:33,375 --> 00:20:35,325
-What do you see?
-I'm in the water.
396
00:20:35,417 --> 00:20:35,827
You're-you're in the water?
397
00:20:35,917 --> 00:20:38,377
I can't breathe.
398
00:20:38,458 --> 00:20:40,208
I'm choking on the water.
399
00:20:41,250 --> 00:20:43,380
My lungs are on fire.
400
00:20:44,125 --> 00:20:46,785
And then these hands, these...
401
00:20:46,875 --> 00:20:48,535
Whose hands?
402
00:20:48,625 --> 00:20:49,375
Two big, strong hands are...
403
00:20:49,458 --> 00:20:52,168
pulling me
from the water, and...
404
00:20:52,959 --> 00:20:55,629
The air is warm.
405
00:20:58,917 --> 00:21:00,997
Okay, good.
406
00:21:01,083 --> 00:21:01,383
Go with that.
407
00:21:04,792 --> 00:21:06,252
I can't. I'm...
408
00:21:06,333 --> 00:21:07,633
I'm sorry. I can't.
409
00:21:16,041 --> 00:21:17,791
Alison.
410
00:21:22,000 --> 00:21:23,750
Are you all right?
411
00:21:24,667 --> 00:21:26,827
Yeah.
412
00:21:26,917 --> 00:21:28,377
You need anything?
413
00:21:34,500 --> 00:21:35,500
Want me to leave you alone?
414
00:21:38,834 --> 00:21:40,384
No.
415
00:21:45,125 --> 00:21:46,575
You know what
we should do?
416
00:21:46,667 --> 00:21:48,287
We should meet up
all over the country
417
00:21:48,375 --> 00:21:49,455
at different
PTSD conferences.
418
00:21:49,917 --> 00:21:51,917
[chuckles] What?
419
00:21:52,000 --> 00:21:54,290
Yeah, there's a,
uh, CPT conference
420
00:21:54,375 --> 00:21:55,705
happening in Milwaukee
in two weeks.
421
00:21:55,792 --> 00:21:56,882
You want to go?
422
00:21:56,959 --> 00:21:57,919
Seriously?
423
00:21:58,000 --> 00:21:59,920
I kind of like
this idea.
424
00:22:00,000 --> 00:22:02,540
It's like a really fucked-up,
quirky romantic comedy.
425
00:22:02,625 --> 00:22:02,955
Very Woody Allen.
426
00:22:03,041 --> 00:22:03,711
[chuckles]
427
00:22:03,792 --> 00:22:06,502
Yeah. Okay.
428
00:22:06,583 --> 00:22:07,213
Well, think about it.
429
00:22:07,291 --> 00:22:09,671
I'll text you
the information.
430
00:22:09,750 --> 00:22:11,670
Pretty sure it's
two weeks from now.
431
00:22:11,750 --> 00:22:13,710
Oh, no, I...
I don't think I can.
432
00:22:13,792 --> 00:22:16,382
I have my daughter
that weekend, so...
433
00:22:16,458 --> 00:22:20,328
Oh. Well, yeah,
that's more important.
434
00:22:20,417 --> 00:22:22,037
Yeah.
435
00:22:25,959 --> 00:22:27,879
Want to rent a boat?
436
00:22:29,834 --> 00:22:31,044
What, now?
437
00:22:31,125 --> 00:22:32,245
Yeah, right now.
438
00:22:32,333 --> 00:22:34,753
We'll go out
for the afternoon.
439
00:22:34,834 --> 00:22:37,084
What better way to get you over
this fear of the ocean, right?
440
00:22:37,166 --> 00:22:39,456
And since I clearly
fucked up your EMDR,
441
00:22:39,542 --> 00:22:40,382
I gotta find
another way.
442
00:22:40,458 --> 00:22:44,248
I'm thinking, uh,
immersion therapy.
443
00:22:44,333 --> 00:22:46,463
[laughs]
444
00:22:46,542 --> 00:22:47,632
[quiet, indistinct chatter]
445
00:22:53,125 --> 00:22:55,915
[cell phone chiming]
446
00:23:09,583 --> 00:23:10,133
Alison, we got a boat.
447
00:23:10,208 --> 00:23:12,628
-Hey.
-Oh. [gasps]
448
00:23:12,709 --> 00:23:13,669
[both laughing]
449
00:23:18,125 --> 00:23:21,455
[water splashing]
450
00:23:23,792 --> 00:23:25,882
[Ben, muffled]
You having fun yet?
451
00:23:25,959 --> 00:23:27,499
What?
452
00:23:27,583 --> 00:23:30,543
[muffled]
Are you having fun yet?
453
00:23:30,625 --> 00:23:33,785
I can't hear you.
454
00:23:33,875 --> 00:23:35,745
Never mind.
455
00:23:59,208 --> 00:24:00,708
[Ben]
Here we go.
456
00:24:04,083 --> 00:24:05,543
[grunts]
457
00:24:07,083 --> 00:24:08,043
You hungry?
They packed us lunch.
458
00:24:08,125 --> 00:24:10,205
-Really?
-Yeah, it's, uh,
459
00:24:10,291 --> 00:24:12,211
right behind
the captain's seat
460
00:24:12,291 --> 00:24:13,331
in the cooler.
461
00:24:13,417 --> 00:24:14,537
Oh.
462
00:24:23,875 --> 00:24:25,875
Ah, I'll put this away.
463
00:24:25,959 --> 00:24:26,419
No, don't worry
about it.
464
00:24:26,500 --> 00:24:28,040
Honestly, I'm fine.
465
00:24:28,125 --> 00:24:29,705
You should drink it.
466
00:24:29,792 --> 00:24:31,712
I bet you're a cute drunk.
467
00:24:36,750 --> 00:24:38,130
Was it hard?
468
00:24:38,208 --> 00:24:39,538
Getting sober?
469
00:24:40,458 --> 00:24:42,538
Yeah. Yeah, it fucking sucked.
470
00:24:42,625 --> 00:24:46,495
Uh, for a while,
I thought I'd rather be dead.
471
00:24:46,583 --> 00:24:48,423
But the person I am
when I drink
472
00:24:48,500 --> 00:24:51,250
is someone I hate,
and, uh,
473
00:24:51,333 --> 00:24:54,043
person I am when I'm sober,
well, that's...
474
00:24:54,125 --> 00:24:55,745
that's someone I can live with.
475
00:24:59,291 --> 00:25:01,421
-What about you?
-Me?
476
00:25:01,500 --> 00:25:03,880
Any chemical dependencies
I should know about?
477
00:25:03,959 --> 00:25:05,709
No. Miraculously.
478
00:25:10,000 --> 00:25:12,460
I did used to cut
myself, though.
479
00:25:14,000 --> 00:25:15,630
You mean...
480
00:25:15,709 --> 00:25:16,959
For fun?
481
00:25:17,041 --> 00:25:18,831
Yeah, kind of.
482
00:25:19,333 --> 00:25:21,883
To feel better.
483
00:25:24,041 --> 00:25:25,581
That's awful.
484
00:25:25,667 --> 00:25:26,787
Yeah, it was.
485
00:25:29,125 --> 00:25:30,665
Tried to kill myself once, too.
486
00:25:33,875 --> 00:25:35,745
[laughs]
487
00:25:35,834 --> 00:25:38,964
Uh, I really don't know
why I'm telling you this.
488
00:25:39,041 --> 00:25:40,631
I...
489
00:25:42,166 --> 00:25:43,706
Maybe because you think
I'd understand.
490
00:25:48,709 --> 00:25:51,209
So...
491
00:25:51,291 --> 00:25:53,501
you have a son and daughter.
492
00:25:54,917 --> 00:25:57,537
I think I will have
some of that wine.
493
00:25:57,625 --> 00:25:58,495
Please.
494
00:25:58,583 --> 00:26:00,333
Yeah, thank you.
495
00:26:00,417 --> 00:26:01,457
Yeah, I got it.
496
00:26:01,542 --> 00:26:01,752
-All right.
-Yeah.
497
00:26:18,250 --> 00:26:21,170
I did have a son.
498
00:26:21,250 --> 00:26:21,670
But he drowned.
499
00:26:23,709 --> 00:26:25,379
Wh-What?
500
00:26:30,458 --> 00:26:32,328
So...
501
00:26:32,417 --> 00:26:35,247
that memory that day
at the, uh...
502
00:26:35,333 --> 00:26:38,423
at the beach with your husband
and the blanket,
503
00:26:38,500 --> 00:26:39,920
was that the day
your son...?
504
00:26:42,083 --> 00:26:44,003
Yeah.
505
00:26:44,083 --> 00:26:47,083
Oh, my God,
I'm sorry, Alison.
506
00:26:53,041 --> 00:26:54,501
What about the hands?
507
00:26:54,583 --> 00:26:57,503
You said they pulled him
out of the water
508
00:26:57,583 --> 00:26:59,213
and he was on the beach.
He could breathe.
509
00:26:59,291 --> 00:27:01,251
No, no, uh...
510
00:27:01,333 --> 00:27:04,253
that wasn't him.
511
00:27:04,333 --> 00:27:05,673
No, that was me.
512
00:27:05,750 --> 00:27:07,960
That was a, uh, dream
I used to have.
513
00:27:09,959 --> 00:27:11,169
That's why it's so weird
514
00:27:11,250 --> 00:27:12,920
that it came up again
in the EMDR.
515
00:27:13,000 --> 00:27:13,960
It just, uh...
516
00:27:16,792 --> 00:27:19,502
No, anyway, um,
Gabriel died that day.
517
00:27:19,583 --> 00:27:21,423
He was four.
518
00:27:21,500 --> 00:27:23,420
Nobody saved him.
519
00:27:28,834 --> 00:27:30,884
Anyway, you know,
it's taken me
520
00:27:30,959 --> 00:27:34,709
a very long time to say this
without wanting to die.
521
00:27:34,792 --> 00:27:35,792
My son drowned.
522
00:27:38,125 --> 00:27:38,915
He drowned.
523
00:27:44,375 --> 00:27:46,205
And...
524
00:27:46,291 --> 00:27:48,881
that's what you walk around
carrying every day?
525
00:27:49,000 --> 00:27:50,540
Your own son?
526
00:27:52,166 --> 00:27:53,746
Yeah.
527
00:27:53,834 --> 00:27:56,214
You seem so together,
so functional.
528
00:27:56,291 --> 00:27:57,331
[chuckles]
529
00:27:57,417 --> 00:28:00,077
I am, most days.
530
00:28:00,166 --> 00:28:02,036
It's taken me a while.
531
00:28:10,625 --> 00:28:12,665
What's that face?
532
00:28:13,709 --> 00:28:15,129
You amaze me.
533
00:28:21,417 --> 00:28:24,377
You know what's really weird
about that dream?
534
00:28:24,458 --> 00:28:25,958
When I'm drowning
and someone rescues me?
535
00:28:28,458 --> 00:28:30,628
I used to have it
all the time as a child.
536
00:28:30,709 --> 00:28:35,629
I remember being
five or six and...
537
00:28:35,709 --> 00:28:37,789
being afraid to go to sleep.
538
00:28:37,875 --> 00:28:40,785
Eventually, I stopped
having it, but...
539
00:28:40,875 --> 00:28:42,455
when Gabriel died,
540
00:28:42,542 --> 00:28:46,042
it all came rushing back.
541
00:28:46,125 --> 00:28:46,875
And the...
542
00:28:49,458 --> 00:28:52,038
It's the same beach.
543
00:28:53,750 --> 00:28:54,830
I can see the lighthouse
in the distance.
544
00:28:54,917 --> 00:28:58,827
I can see my house
behind me, past the dunes.
545
00:29:01,041 --> 00:29:05,461
And ever since, I've wondered
if it was a, um...
546
00:29:05,542 --> 00:29:06,632
Premonition.
547
00:29:09,208 --> 00:29:11,708
A premonition.
548
00:29:11,792 --> 00:29:14,502
Not a dream at all.
549
00:29:15,417 --> 00:29:18,417
So you think you saw
550
00:29:18,500 --> 00:29:21,170
what happened to your son
before it happened.
551
00:29:21,250 --> 00:29:24,330
If I say yes,
will you think I'm crazy?
552
00:29:24,417 --> 00:29:26,167
No.
553
00:29:26,250 --> 00:29:29,880
I think there's all sorts of
ways of knowing things, Alison.
554
00:29:33,250 --> 00:29:35,670
What if...
555
00:29:35,750 --> 00:29:36,790
What if something or somebody
556
00:29:36,875 --> 00:29:39,875
was trying to tell me
to watch out?
557
00:29:42,250 --> 00:29:43,080
Like, be ready?
558
00:29:45,750 --> 00:29:48,130
And when the time came,
I missed it?
559
00:29:56,083 --> 00:29:57,003
[chuckles]
560
00:30:00,792 --> 00:30:03,962
I haven't told
anyone this before.
561
00:30:04,041 --> 00:30:06,131
Not Cole. Not Noah.
562
00:30:10,375 --> 00:30:12,075
Come here.
563
00:30:13,625 --> 00:30:15,495
Why?
564
00:30:17,458 --> 00:30:19,918
I just want you to be closer.
565
00:30:31,375 --> 00:30:35,415
You know, a lot of people
have nightmares about drowning.
566
00:30:35,500 --> 00:30:37,710
Maybe it's just a...
567
00:30:37,792 --> 00:30:39,002
childhood fantasy
about being saved.
568
00:30:39,083 --> 00:30:41,923
But why would I dream
of the same beach
569
00:30:42,000 --> 00:30:44,040
where he died?
570
00:30:44,125 --> 00:30:45,665
Well, maybe you didn't
originally.
571
00:30:45,750 --> 00:30:49,290
Maybe you added
that part later.
572
00:30:49,375 --> 00:30:52,125
Maybe because you're looking
for a way to blame yourself.
573
00:30:57,125 --> 00:30:59,575
You'd make
a good shrink.
574
00:31:02,750 --> 00:31:05,580
What am I doing
on a boat with you?
575
00:31:05,667 --> 00:31:07,327
[chuckles]
576
00:31:07,417 --> 00:31:08,917
It was your idea.
577
00:31:13,917 --> 00:31:14,997
Should we head back?
578
00:31:20,208 --> 00:31:21,668
Okay.
579
00:31:23,625 --> 00:31:25,415
All right.
580
00:31:29,625 --> 00:31:31,245
[sighs]
581
00:31:31,333 --> 00:31:32,293
♪ quiet, ambient music ♪
582
00:31:32,375 --> 00:31:35,165
♪♪♪
583
00:32:01,417 --> 00:32:04,207
♪♪♪
584
00:32:18,458 --> 00:32:20,038
Wait, wait.
585
00:32:21,542 --> 00:32:24,082
[chuckles]
586
00:32:24,166 --> 00:32:27,876
Well, this is
a complete disaster.
587
00:32:29,917 --> 00:32:30,127
Right.
588
00:32:37,625 --> 00:32:39,375
♪ atmospheric music ♪
589
00:32:39,458 --> 00:32:41,828
♪♪♪
590
00:33:07,458 --> 00:33:09,498
♪♪♪
591
00:33:29,750 --> 00:33:31,130
You all right?
592
00:33:31,208 --> 00:33:32,378
I'm fine.
593
00:33:32,458 --> 00:33:35,708
Geez. I thought you had
a fucking stroke.
594
00:33:37,041 --> 00:33:39,131
I was just trying
to get away from you.
595
00:33:41,291 --> 00:33:43,081
So much for your fear
of the ocean.
596
00:33:43,166 --> 00:33:44,326
[both chuckle]
597
00:33:44,417 --> 00:33:45,917
You're insane.
You know that, right?
598
00:33:46,000 --> 00:33:48,920
Yeah, yeah.
I've heard that before.
599
00:33:49,000 --> 00:33:50,290
[sighs]
600
00:33:52,709 --> 00:33:53,289
[sighs]
601
00:33:56,959 --> 00:33:58,329
Hey, Ben?
602
00:33:58,417 --> 00:33:59,997
Hey, Alison?
603
00:34:00,083 --> 00:34:02,333
I'm having
a very nice time
604
00:34:02,417 --> 00:34:04,327
not having sex
with you.
605
00:34:05,750 --> 00:34:07,630
Well, don't get too used to it.
606
00:34:12,125 --> 00:34:14,415
[both laughing]
607
00:34:21,709 --> 00:34:25,039
[waves splashing gently]
608
00:35:06,625 --> 00:35:08,665
[humming quietly]
609
00:35:22,792 --> 00:35:24,292
[startled grunt]
610
00:35:24,375 --> 00:35:26,075
[whimpers]
611
00:35:27,208 --> 00:35:28,418
[gasps]
612
00:35:28,500 --> 00:35:30,080
What the fuck
are you doing, man?
613
00:35:30,166 --> 00:35:32,626
Come on.
We're going someplace.
614
00:35:32,709 --> 00:35:35,379
What?
615
00:35:35,458 --> 00:35:36,578
You and me?
616
00:35:36,667 --> 00:35:37,957
That's right.
617
00:35:38,041 --> 00:35:40,331
Uh-uh, dude. No way.
618
00:35:40,417 --> 00:35:41,417
[panting]
619
00:35:43,583 --> 00:35:45,583
[sniffs]
620
00:35:45,667 --> 00:35:46,577
What's that smell, man?
621
00:35:46,667 --> 00:35:49,127
Lighter fluid.
622
00:35:49,208 --> 00:35:51,708
Yo, I'm not going
anywhere with you.
623
00:35:51,792 --> 00:35:53,502
Fucking psychopath.
624
00:35:53,583 --> 00:35:54,923
Oh, I think
you are.
625
00:35:55,000 --> 00:35:57,420
Or else what, man?
626
00:35:57,500 --> 00:35:59,830
You're gonna
just light me on fire?
627
00:35:59,917 --> 00:36:01,577
I might.
628
00:36:03,083 --> 00:36:05,883
[man]
So it's now been, uh,
629
00:36:05,959 --> 00:36:07,879
six years, three months
and two days
630
00:36:07,959 --> 00:36:11,079
since the accident,
and, uh,
631
00:36:11,166 --> 00:36:15,496
I've rebuilt a bit of
a relationship with my kids.
632
00:36:15,583 --> 00:36:18,253
My ex-wife still
doesn't speak to me,
633
00:36:18,333 --> 00:36:19,333
but I can't say
I blame her.
634
00:36:19,417 --> 00:36:23,377
I saw her the other day
at the grocery store,
635
00:36:23,458 --> 00:36:25,918
and she pretended
not to see me.
636
00:36:27,417 --> 00:36:29,287
But one day
at a time.
637
00:36:30,875 --> 00:36:32,825
I thank God
every day
638
00:36:32,917 --> 00:36:34,917
that I'm still alive
and that I get to have
639
00:36:35,000 --> 00:36:39,080
another sunrise
to try to do it better.
640
00:36:39,709 --> 00:36:42,129
Thanks.
641
00:36:42,208 --> 00:36:43,578
-I'm being fucking kidnapped.
-[applause]
642
00:36:43,667 --> 00:36:44,497
No talking.
643
00:36:53,709 --> 00:36:55,999
Hi. My name is Ben,
and I'm an addict.
644
00:36:56,083 --> 00:36:57,293
-[group] Hey, Ben.
-[Cole] Hey, Ben.
645
00:36:57,375 --> 00:37:00,325
I'm so grateful
I found this meeting.
646
00:37:00,417 --> 00:37:03,127
I'm, uh... I'm not
from around here.
647
00:37:03,208 --> 00:37:06,038
I, uh... I woke up this morning
648
00:37:06,125 --> 00:37:08,325
just itching
for some blow, and...
649
00:37:08,417 --> 00:37:09,577
I knew I needed help.
650
00:37:09,667 --> 00:37:13,707
I've been, uh... I've been clean
for about seven months now,
651
00:37:13,792 --> 00:37:17,042
and it's been the hardest thing
I've ever done.
652
00:37:17,125 --> 00:37:19,495
And I did two tours
in Afghanistan.
653
00:37:21,458 --> 00:37:24,128
You know,
to be honest,
654
00:37:24,208 --> 00:37:25,208
the thing I struggle with
the most in the program
655
00:37:25,291 --> 00:37:29,791
is not the drinking,
but the abstinence.
656
00:37:32,917 --> 00:37:34,917
I miss women.
657
00:37:38,250 --> 00:37:42,250
But I know, for me, it's a...
it's a slippery slope.
658
00:37:42,333 --> 00:37:43,833
Girls make me want to drink,
659
00:37:43,917 --> 00:37:46,627
and, uh, drinking
makes me want to use.
660
00:37:50,250 --> 00:37:52,330
You know, when I got back
from the sandbox,
661
00:37:52,417 --> 00:37:55,377
I was... I was completely numb.
662
00:37:59,542 --> 00:38:01,212
Couldn't get it up for my wife,
663
00:38:01,291 --> 00:38:05,291
so I started drinking
in order to be able to fuck her.
664
00:38:05,375 --> 00:38:09,165
And then that led
to using,
665
00:38:09,250 --> 00:38:11,210
then our marriage
started to fall apart.
666
00:38:13,125 --> 00:38:16,825
Things that, uh,
used to make me happy,
667
00:38:16,917 --> 00:38:18,417
I couldn't feel
those things anymore.
668
00:38:20,458 --> 00:38:24,248
Couldn't feel anything
except angry.
669
00:38:25,625 --> 00:38:27,075
It was hell.
670
00:38:27,166 --> 00:38:28,876
[whispering]
I like this guy.
671
00:38:28,959 --> 00:38:30,629
You should ask him
to be your sponsor.
672
00:38:30,709 --> 00:38:32,039
No talking.
673
00:38:32,125 --> 00:38:33,625
[Ben] I haven't had
any PTSD attacks,
674
00:38:33,709 --> 00:38:35,039
and I've been feeling okay.
675
00:38:35,125 --> 00:38:36,875
You know, not good, not bad.
676
00:38:36,959 --> 00:38:39,879
Just... just okay.
677
00:38:41,250 --> 00:38:44,460
And then I met this girl, and...
678
00:38:45,750 --> 00:38:49,630
She's like the woman I've been
looking for my whole life.
679
00:38:50,625 --> 00:38:54,665
But I spent the day with her
on a boat yesterday.
680
00:38:54,750 --> 00:38:56,540
I wanted to drink
so fucking bad.
681
00:39:00,709 --> 00:39:02,749
I didn't.
682
00:39:02,834 --> 00:39:03,674
That's why I'm here
this morning.
683
00:39:03,750 --> 00:39:06,170
One day at a time,
by the grace of God.
684
00:39:06,250 --> 00:39:09,170
So, thanks for letting me share.
685
00:39:09,250 --> 00:39:11,080
[applause]
686
00:39:14,375 --> 00:39:16,535
[muttering]
687
00:39:16,625 --> 00:39:18,495
[Ben]
I appreciate it.
688
00:39:18,583 --> 00:39:19,963
It's a great place,
so thank you.
689
00:39:20,041 --> 00:39:22,501
-You're welcome.
-Bye.
690
00:39:26,417 --> 00:39:27,497
Hey, man.
691
00:39:27,583 --> 00:39:29,883
Hey. I'm Cole.
692
00:39:29,959 --> 00:39:31,249
Hi.
693
00:39:31,333 --> 00:39:32,753
That's Bram.
694
00:39:32,834 --> 00:39:35,004
I like what
you said up there.
695
00:39:35,083 --> 00:39:36,633
And he's new to the program.
He's looking for a sponsor.
696
00:39:38,208 --> 00:39:41,128
He's new to
the program, huh?
697
00:39:41,208 --> 00:39:42,788
Yeah. Day one.
698
00:39:42,875 --> 00:39:44,325
You think he's gonna
stick with it?
699
00:39:44,417 --> 00:39:46,917
Sure. He's 100% committed.
700
00:39:48,625 --> 00:39:52,495
Yeah, I'd like to, man,
but, uh, I'm not from out here.
701
00:39:52,583 --> 00:39:53,923
Headed back to Hicksville now.
702
00:39:54,000 --> 00:39:56,290
My wife, she goes crazy
with both kids
703
00:39:56,375 --> 00:39:57,495
on the weekends,
and I'm already late.
704
00:39:57,583 --> 00:39:59,923
What about the girl
you were talking about?
705
00:40:01,959 --> 00:40:03,999
You know how these
things are, man, right?
706
00:40:04,083 --> 00:40:05,383
It's complicated.
707
00:40:06,333 --> 00:40:08,463
Good to meet you, Cole.
708
00:40:08,542 --> 00:40:09,632
Good luck.
709
00:40:09,709 --> 00:40:11,379
You, too, kid.
710
00:40:16,875 --> 00:40:18,785
Hey, babe.
711
00:40:18,875 --> 00:40:20,785
Where have you been?
712
00:40:20,875 --> 00:40:23,415
Was trying to be
a Good Samaritan.
713
00:40:23,500 --> 00:40:25,330
Did it work?
714
00:40:25,417 --> 00:40:25,707
No.
715
00:40:33,250 --> 00:40:35,420
What's with all the paperwork?
716
00:40:35,500 --> 00:40:36,670
Studying for your LSATs?
717
00:40:36,750 --> 00:40:39,170
Why would I be studying
for the LSATs?
718
00:40:39,250 --> 00:40:41,420
I'm kidding.
719
00:40:42,625 --> 00:40:44,535
What's with all that stuff?
720
00:40:44,625 --> 00:40:48,165
Uh, they're my
immigration forms.
721
00:40:48,917 --> 00:40:51,667
Really?
722
00:40:51,750 --> 00:40:53,500
Yeah.
723
00:40:53,583 --> 00:40:56,673
I'm thinking about applying
for my citizenship after all.
724
00:40:56,750 --> 00:40:59,130
Nothing ventured,
nothing gained, right?
725
00:40:59,208 --> 00:41:02,418
Right, but isn't that something
we should talk about first?
726
00:41:02,500 --> 00:41:04,080
What is there to talk about?
727
00:41:04,166 --> 00:41:05,536
Well, the risk.
728
00:41:05,625 --> 00:41:06,825
What risk?
729
00:41:06,917 --> 00:41:07,957
That they would deport you.
730
00:41:08,041 --> 00:41:09,711
Yes.
731
00:41:09,792 --> 00:41:12,042
And that's why I need you
to sign something for me.
732
00:41:12,125 --> 00:41:13,705
What's that?
733
00:41:13,792 --> 00:41:15,422
That's the hardship waiver.
734
00:41:15,500 --> 00:41:16,540
My only chance
to become a citizen
735
00:41:16,625 --> 00:41:19,575
is by demonstrating
that my deportation
736
00:41:19,667 --> 00:41:21,497
would create hardship
for someone.
737
00:41:21,583 --> 00:41:23,383
So you want me to sign
738
00:41:23,458 --> 00:41:25,248
that it would create
hardship for me? Sure.
739
00:41:25,333 --> 00:41:27,253
No, not for you. Joanie.
740
00:41:27,333 --> 00:41:28,923
I'm confused.
741
00:41:29,000 --> 00:41:31,710
Look, Alison has a history
of mental illness.
742
00:41:31,792 --> 00:41:33,042
It's been
well documented.
743
00:41:33,125 --> 00:41:34,875
All we need to do
is send in records
744
00:41:34,959 --> 00:41:37,419
of her hospitalization to prove
that she's not a fit mother.
745
00:41:37,500 --> 00:41:42,210
But wait, I have
drafted this letter.
746
00:41:42,291 --> 00:41:45,331
It's a statement
on Joanie's behalf.
747
00:41:45,417 --> 00:41:46,747
I don't understand.
748
00:41:46,834 --> 00:41:49,254
I need you to ask Alison
if she will let me
749
00:41:49,333 --> 00:41:50,633
be Joanie's
legal guardian.
750
00:41:50,709 --> 00:41:54,209
Luisa, we just went
through this last year.
751
00:41:54,291 --> 00:41:55,291
I know.
752
00:41:55,375 --> 00:41:56,665
We gave her custody back.
753
00:41:56,750 --> 00:42:00,000
You wanted to do that.
That was your idea.
754
00:42:00,083 --> 00:42:02,883
Yeah, I know. It was a...
it was a mistake.
755
00:42:02,959 --> 00:42:03,329
A mistake for who?
756
00:42:03,417 --> 00:42:05,627
Well, for me.
757
00:42:05,709 --> 00:42:07,329
So you want me to ask Alison
758
00:42:07,417 --> 00:42:09,327
to declare herself
an unfit mother
759
00:42:09,417 --> 00:42:10,917
after everything
that she's been through?
760
00:42:11,000 --> 00:42:12,580
Yeah, but it would just
be on paper.
761
00:42:12,667 --> 00:42:14,417
Nothing would
have to change.
762
00:42:14,500 --> 00:42:17,420
We would still share
custody of Joanie,
763
00:42:17,500 --> 00:42:19,790
but I could submit these forms.
764
00:42:19,875 --> 00:42:21,785
Say I was her mother,
her only mother.
765
00:42:21,875 --> 00:42:23,575
And you don't think
they're going to check?
766
00:42:23,667 --> 00:42:26,287
No. Do you think an ICE agent
is coming to Montauk
767
00:42:26,375 --> 00:42:29,165
to check who picks Joanie up
from fucking kindergarten?
768
00:42:29,250 --> 00:42:30,790
They don't give
a shit, Cole.
769
00:42:30,875 --> 00:42:33,745
What they care, it's...
it's what's on the paper.
770
00:42:33,834 --> 00:42:35,424
-I can't ask Alison to do this.
-Why?
771
00:42:35,500 --> 00:42:39,460
Because it would
break her heart.
772
00:42:42,333 --> 00:42:44,673
Then I-I can't stay.
773
00:42:44,750 --> 00:42:46,170
Oh, stop being so dramatic.
774
00:42:46,250 --> 00:42:48,670
Of course you can stay.
775
00:42:48,750 --> 00:42:50,330
Everything is fine here.
776
00:42:50,417 --> 00:42:51,207
We have a great life.
777
00:42:51,291 --> 00:42:52,961
No, you have a great life.
778
00:42:53,041 --> 00:42:55,291
[sighs]
779
00:42:55,375 --> 00:42:56,575
You are turning this
into a competition
780
00:42:56,667 --> 00:42:58,537
between you and her.
You are.
781
00:42:58,625 --> 00:42:59,875
Think about what you're doing.
782
00:42:59,959 --> 00:43:01,749
Think about what
you're asking me to do.
783
00:43:01,834 --> 00:43:02,924
I'm sorry.
784
00:43:03,000 --> 00:43:04,420
I-I can't go on like this.
785
00:43:04,500 --> 00:43:07,330
This is not a life for me.
786
00:43:07,417 --> 00:43:09,207
It might work
for you,
787
00:43:09,291 --> 00:43:11,581
but this whole
relationship,
788
00:43:11,667 --> 00:43:13,207
our marriage, it's been
on your terms, Cole.
789
00:43:13,291 --> 00:43:15,671
We live in your town.
790
00:43:15,750 --> 00:43:18,040
We see your family.
I work in your restaurant.
791
00:43:18,125 --> 00:43:19,995
I'll sell the restaurant.
792
00:43:20,083 --> 00:43:22,963
If that'll make you happy,
I will sell the restaurant.
793
00:43:26,083 --> 00:43:26,793
What if I get deported?
794
00:43:29,250 --> 00:43:30,540
Would you come with me
795
00:43:30,625 --> 00:43:32,165
back to Ecuador?
796
00:43:32,250 --> 00:43:33,790
And leave Joanie here?
Of course not.
797
00:43:38,583 --> 00:43:41,633
I'm tired of feeling
like your domestic help, Cole.
798
00:43:41,709 --> 00:43:43,419
Stop that.
You are my wife.
799
00:43:43,500 --> 00:43:46,130
Yeah, I live in this house.
800
00:43:46,208 --> 00:43:47,668
I cook your meals.
801
00:43:47,750 --> 00:43:49,630
I wash your clothes.
I care for your daughter.
802
00:43:49,709 --> 00:43:51,039
But I have nothing of my own.
803
00:43:51,125 --> 00:43:52,875
Me.
804
00:43:52,959 --> 00:43:54,709
You have me.
805
00:43:56,291 --> 00:43:58,581
Really?
806
00:43:58,667 --> 00:44:00,707
I don't know.
807
00:44:04,625 --> 00:44:06,285
I don't know.
808
00:44:08,291 --> 00:44:09,631
You're gonna pick Joanie up,
809
00:44:09,709 --> 00:44:11,289
right, at Alison's?
810
00:44:11,375 --> 00:44:12,535
Yes.
811
00:44:12,625 --> 00:44:15,165
Well, maybe you can talk to her,
812
00:44:15,250 --> 00:44:17,130
see what she thinks.
813
00:44:22,959 --> 00:44:24,919
♪ quiet, ambient music ♪
814
00:44:25,000 --> 00:44:26,790
♪♪♪
815
00:44:57,000 --> 00:44:58,460
Ma.
816
00:45:00,000 --> 00:45:01,580
Mom!
817
00:45:02,667 --> 00:45:03,787
Mom!
818
00:45:10,834 --> 00:45:13,634
Well, look who it is--
my wayward son.
819
00:45:18,375 --> 00:45:20,165
How's my granddaughter?
820
00:45:20,250 --> 00:45:21,750
She's good.
821
00:45:21,834 --> 00:45:23,714
She liked that thing
you got her.
822
00:45:23,792 --> 00:45:25,172
What thing?
823
00:45:25,250 --> 00:45:27,960
The stretchy thing
that makes a noise.
824
00:45:28,041 --> 00:45:29,461
The accordion?
825
00:45:29,542 --> 00:45:30,002
Yeah.
826
00:45:38,417 --> 00:45:40,577
What's wrong?
827
00:45:40,667 --> 00:45:42,037
What do you mean?
828
00:45:42,125 --> 00:45:45,125
You only eat like that
when something's wrong.
829
00:45:45,208 --> 00:45:46,128
Eat like what?
830
00:45:46,208 --> 00:45:48,958
Like someone's going
to take it away from you.
831
00:45:49,041 --> 00:45:51,081
All due respect, Mom, I was
raised with three brothers.
832
00:45:51,166 --> 00:45:53,206
Somebody usually was
going to take it away from me.
833
00:45:58,667 --> 00:46:00,167
How's business?
834
00:46:00,250 --> 00:46:02,710
What? It's fine.
835
00:46:03,834 --> 00:46:05,794
And Sheri?
836
00:46:05,875 --> 00:46:07,625
She's doing well.
837
00:46:10,417 --> 00:46:11,997
Do people laugh
when they figure out
838
00:46:12,083 --> 00:46:14,753
that this place is called
Sheri and Cherry's Fish Farm?
839
00:46:14,834 --> 00:46:18,084
No, you're the first person
to make that joke.
840
00:46:20,625 --> 00:46:24,205
Anyway, business
is thriving.
841
00:46:24,291 --> 00:46:26,791
Sheri appreciates
my operational experience,
842
00:46:26,875 --> 00:46:29,495
and I'm very happy
to be helping an old friend.
843
00:46:34,083 --> 00:46:35,923
It's very impressive.
844
00:46:36,000 --> 00:46:38,080
Sorry I haven't come
out here sooner to see it.
845
00:46:38,166 --> 00:46:40,576
It's only been for a few years.
846
00:46:40,667 --> 00:46:41,957
I know you've been
very busy.
847
00:46:42,041 --> 00:46:43,381
I just said I'm sorry, Mom.
848
00:46:43,458 --> 00:46:44,578
What do you want, Cole?
849
00:46:44,667 --> 00:46:47,037
You only ever come around
when there's something wrong,
850
00:46:47,125 --> 00:46:48,785
so what is it this time?
851
00:46:51,500 --> 00:46:53,830
I wanted to ask you
some questions.
852
00:46:53,917 --> 00:46:55,247
What about?
853
00:46:55,333 --> 00:46:56,793
About you and Dad.
854
00:46:57,333 --> 00:46:59,423
Okay.
855
00:46:59,500 --> 00:47:01,330
What about me and Dad?
856
00:47:01,959 --> 00:47:04,329
Were you happy together?
857
00:47:04,417 --> 00:47:05,957
Yes.
858
00:47:06,041 --> 00:47:06,081
The whole time?
859
00:47:08,625 --> 00:47:10,575
Well, your father
was a very unhappy man
860
00:47:10,667 --> 00:47:12,417
at the end of his life, Cole.
861
00:47:12,500 --> 00:47:13,830
Right, I know, so then how
could you have been happy?
862
00:47:13,917 --> 00:47:17,667
I loved him,
so I took all of him.
863
00:47:17,750 --> 00:47:19,920
How did you know?
864
00:47:20,000 --> 00:47:22,080
You just do.
865
00:47:26,667 --> 00:47:28,957
Luisa doesn't think
that I love her.
866
00:47:30,375 --> 00:47:32,075
Okay. Well, do you love her?
867
00:47:32,166 --> 00:47:32,956
Of course I love her.
868
00:47:33,041 --> 00:47:35,751
Well, then why
doesn't she know that?
869
00:47:35,834 --> 00:47:36,794
I don't know.
870
00:47:36,875 --> 00:47:40,125
She's a woman.
She's crazy.
871
00:47:42,500 --> 00:47:45,130
She wants me to ask Alison
872
00:47:45,208 --> 00:47:47,578
to renounce her rights
to being Joanie's parent,
873
00:47:47,667 --> 00:47:49,917
with the idea that it's gonna
help her get her citizenship
874
00:47:50,000 --> 00:47:52,170
if she's Joanie's
primary caregiver.
875
00:47:52,250 --> 00:47:54,920
Are you going to ask
Alison to do that?
876
00:47:57,542 --> 00:47:58,172
Why not?
877
00:48:04,208 --> 00:48:04,748
Okay, then.
878
00:48:04,834 --> 00:48:07,044
Well, there's your answer.
879
00:48:11,959 --> 00:48:13,579
[groaning sigh]
880
00:48:13,667 --> 00:48:14,997
All right.
881
00:48:15,375 --> 00:48:17,035
Good talk.
882
00:48:19,083 --> 00:48:23,293
Why don't you take yourself
on a walkabout, Cole?
883
00:48:23,375 --> 00:48:25,075
Take myself on a what?
884
00:48:25,166 --> 00:48:27,286
I sent your father
on one years ago.
885
00:48:27,375 --> 00:48:28,955
Did him a world of good.
886
00:48:29,041 --> 00:48:30,461
You sent him on a what?
887
00:48:30,542 --> 00:48:31,962
-A walkabout.
-I don't know what that is, Mom.
888
00:48:32,041 --> 00:48:33,791
You know, the thing
they do in Australia.
889
00:48:33,875 --> 00:48:35,705
You want me to go
to Australia?
890
00:48:35,792 --> 00:48:39,632
You don't have to go
to Australia.
891
00:48:39,709 --> 00:48:41,499
Your father went
to California.
892
00:48:41,583 --> 00:48:44,333
What? When?
893
00:48:44,417 --> 00:48:46,167
Before you were born.
894
00:48:46,250 --> 00:48:47,830
For how long?
895
00:48:47,917 --> 00:48:49,667
About six months.
896
00:48:50,792 --> 00:48:52,082
Why?
897
00:48:52,166 --> 00:48:53,916
I asked him to.
898
00:48:54,000 --> 00:48:56,330
He seemed confused.
899
00:48:56,417 --> 00:48:59,497
I couldn't help him, so...
900
00:48:59,583 --> 00:49:01,503
I sent him off
to figure it out.
901
00:49:01,583 --> 00:49:03,543
Dad just disappeared
for six months?
902
00:49:03,625 --> 00:49:05,035
What did he do?
903
00:49:05,125 --> 00:49:06,495
I don't know exactly.
904
00:49:06,583 --> 00:49:07,833
I didn't ask.
905
00:49:07,917 --> 00:49:09,497
That was part of our deal.
906
00:49:09,583 --> 00:49:10,213
He left.
907
00:49:12,166 --> 00:49:14,376
Six months later,
he came back
908
00:49:14,458 --> 00:49:15,748
with a surfboard.
909
00:49:15,834 --> 00:49:17,924
He seemed a little lighter.
910
00:49:18,000 --> 00:49:18,750
And you don't know
where he went?
911
00:49:18,834 --> 00:49:21,044
Well, I know he went
to California,
912
00:49:21,125 --> 00:49:25,495
to a town with a giant rock
in the middle of the sea.
913
00:49:27,041 --> 00:49:28,461
I have a postcard from him.
914
00:49:28,542 --> 00:49:29,832
I'll find it for you.
915
00:49:33,625 --> 00:49:35,325
Hi, Daddy.
916
00:49:40,208 --> 00:49:41,748
Come here, kiddo.
917
00:49:43,041 --> 00:49:43,581
Hey.
918
00:49:43,667 --> 00:49:46,037
Hey. Look at you.
919
00:49:46,125 --> 00:49:47,245
You look great.
920
00:49:47,333 --> 00:49:47,833
Thank you.
921
00:49:47,917 --> 00:49:49,707
Are you wearing heels?
922
00:49:49,792 --> 00:49:50,792
[chuckles]
923
00:49:50,875 --> 00:49:52,375
It looks like it.
924
00:49:52,458 --> 00:49:54,208
You're going somewhere?
925
00:49:54,291 --> 00:49:55,631
I have a date.
926
00:49:55,709 --> 00:49:57,959
Here's Joanie's stuff.
927
00:49:58,041 --> 00:50:00,711
I, uh, packed a swimsuit
because Luisa mentioned
928
00:50:00,792 --> 00:50:02,712
she's grown out
of the one at your house.
929
00:50:02,792 --> 00:50:05,082
And we made some
cookies this morning,
930
00:50:05,166 --> 00:50:07,246
so I put them in
a container for you guys.
931
00:50:07,333 --> 00:50:07,833
Oh, you didn't
have to do that.
932
00:50:07,917 --> 00:50:10,167
No, it's my pleasure.
933
00:50:10,250 --> 00:50:11,790
Hey. Bye, lovebug.
934
00:50:11,875 --> 00:50:14,415
Mmm. Not gonna
see you all weekend.
935
00:50:14,500 --> 00:50:16,170
-Bye, Mama.
-Bye, baby.
936
00:50:16,250 --> 00:50:17,540
All right. Off we go.
937
00:50:17,625 --> 00:50:18,785
Oh, hey.
I'm gonna stop by
938
00:50:18,875 --> 00:50:20,075
next week
with the paperwork
939
00:50:20,166 --> 00:50:21,826
for the sale
of the Lobster Roll, okay?
940
00:50:21,917 --> 00:50:23,287
Okay. Sounds good.
941
00:50:23,375 --> 00:50:26,955
Oh, no, no, uh, wait.
I want to ask, um...
942
00:50:27,041 --> 00:50:29,711
can you switch weekends
in two weeks?
943
00:50:30,959 --> 00:50:31,499
Uh, yeah.
944
00:50:31,583 --> 00:50:33,583
Sure. Why?
945
00:50:33,667 --> 00:50:35,077
I have this
PTSD conference
946
00:50:35,166 --> 00:50:37,326
I want to go to
in Milwaukee,
947
00:50:37,417 --> 00:50:40,077
and I want to sign up
before it gets too late.
948
00:50:41,500 --> 00:50:42,790
Done.
949
00:50:42,875 --> 00:50:44,745
Perfect. Thank you.
950
00:50:44,834 --> 00:50:46,254
All right, off we go.
951
00:50:46,333 --> 00:50:47,173
Have fun.
952
00:50:53,041 --> 00:50:55,001
Hey. Hey.
953
00:50:55,083 --> 00:50:55,673
Don't I know you?
954
00:50:55,750 --> 00:50:58,630
[Alison]
Cole?
955
00:50:58,709 --> 00:51:00,919
This is my friend Ben.
956
00:51:01,959 --> 00:51:05,329
Nice to meet you, Cole.
957
00:51:05,834 --> 00:51:08,334
Come on, Daddy.
958
00:51:21,709 --> 00:51:23,329
[Cole]
All righty.
959
00:51:26,542 --> 00:51:28,172
Good? All right.
960
00:51:32,917 --> 00:51:34,997
Be right back, kiddo.
961
00:51:42,959 --> 00:51:44,039
Hey. Listen.
962
00:51:44,125 --> 00:51:45,455
It's not what you think.
963
00:51:45,542 --> 00:51:46,672
I just... I'm sorry.
964
00:51:46,750 --> 00:51:49,290
I didn't want to make a scene
in front of your daughter.
965
00:51:49,375 --> 00:51:52,205
-Does she know you're married?
-No.
966
00:51:52,291 --> 00:51:54,171
-Of course not.
-Look, I'm gonna tell her.
967
00:51:54,250 --> 00:51:56,630
Sure you are.
Why don't I tell her myself?
968
00:51:56,709 --> 00:52:00,129
Hey, hey. My situation's
complicated, all right?
969
00:52:00,208 --> 00:52:01,418
My marriage is over.
970
00:52:01,500 --> 00:52:02,830
It's been over for years.
971
00:52:02,917 --> 00:52:05,167
I tried to stick it out
for the kids.
972
00:52:05,250 --> 00:52:06,380
[Alison]
Cole?
973
00:52:08,375 --> 00:52:10,205
Is everything okay?
974
00:52:11,250 --> 00:52:12,920
Yeah. Uh...
975
00:52:13,000 --> 00:52:14,710
Joanie forgot her goggles.
976
00:52:14,792 --> 00:52:16,292
Oh, sorry. One second.
977
00:52:20,792 --> 00:52:22,042
Thank you.
978
00:52:22,125 --> 00:52:23,785
Look, she's
the first person
979
00:52:23,875 --> 00:52:26,035
I met in ten years
that made me want to live.
980
00:52:26,125 --> 00:52:27,535
I'm gonna tell her the truth.
981
00:52:27,625 --> 00:52:29,205
Just give me a moment.
982
00:52:29,291 --> 00:52:31,501
Let me do it in the right way
at the right time.
983
00:52:31,583 --> 00:52:33,713
[sighs]
984
00:52:33,792 --> 00:52:35,132
What are you guys
talking about?
985
00:52:35,208 --> 00:52:37,128
It turns out
we do know each other.
986
00:52:37,208 --> 00:52:38,498
You do?
987
00:52:38,583 --> 00:52:41,133
Yeah. We met
in an AA meeting.
988
00:52:41,208 --> 00:52:42,458
Oh. Yeah.
989
00:52:42,542 --> 00:52:44,332
Ben's a big believer
in the program.
990
00:52:44,417 --> 00:52:46,537
It saved his life.
991
00:52:46,625 --> 00:52:48,665
Hey, but why
were you there?
992
00:52:50,834 --> 00:52:51,584
I was just helping out a friend.
993
00:52:51,667 --> 00:52:53,997
Oh. Okay.
994
00:52:54,083 --> 00:52:54,633
You guys have a good weekend.
995
00:52:54,709 --> 00:52:57,419
Come on.
996
00:53:04,333 --> 00:53:06,293
[music box lullaby playing]
997
00:53:08,709 --> 00:53:09,829
[music stops]
998
00:53:38,083 --> 00:53:40,583
What are you doing?
999
00:53:40,667 --> 00:53:41,877
Packing.
1000
00:53:41,959 --> 00:53:44,499
Where are you going?
1001
00:53:44,583 --> 00:53:46,423
I'm not sure.
1002
00:53:46,500 --> 00:53:47,790
Luisa, stop.
1003
00:53:47,875 --> 00:53:49,205
Please.
1004
00:53:50,208 --> 00:53:51,788
Did you ask Alison?
1005
00:53:53,375 --> 00:53:55,375
We have been over this
so many times.
1006
00:53:55,458 --> 00:53:58,128
Any immigration judge
worth their salt
1007
00:53:58,208 --> 00:53:59,708
is going to argue that you are
1008
00:53:59,792 --> 00:54:00,922
legally auxiliary
to the functioning
1009
00:54:01,000 --> 00:54:01,420
-of this family.
-Auxiliary?
1010
00:54:03,458 --> 00:54:05,038
I said "legally."
1011
00:54:05,125 --> 00:54:07,205
Where are you gonna go?
1012
00:54:07,291 --> 00:54:08,711
I don't know.
To my mother's.
1013
00:54:08,792 --> 00:54:10,332
Luisa, stop. Stop.
1014
00:54:10,417 --> 00:54:11,627
Please, we can figure this out.
1015
00:54:11,709 --> 00:54:13,539
No.
1016
00:54:13,625 --> 00:54:14,825
I love you.
1017
00:54:14,917 --> 00:54:18,917
And for years, I have been
waiting for you to choose me.
1018
00:54:19,750 --> 00:54:22,330
For you to figure out
that I am...
1019
00:54:22,417 --> 00:54:23,827
stronger and kinder
1020
00:54:23,917 --> 00:54:26,327
and more capable
than she'll ever be.
1021
00:54:26,417 --> 00:54:29,377
And that I am the one
worth fighting for.
1022
00:54:29,458 --> 00:54:31,168
But you don't, and you won't.
1023
00:54:44,125 --> 00:54:45,825
What if I left?
1024
00:54:47,000 --> 00:54:47,460
What?
1025
00:54:49,750 --> 00:54:51,960
What if I went on a...
1026
00:54:52,041 --> 00:54:54,671
on a walkabout?
1027
00:54:54,750 --> 00:54:55,960
What's that?
1028
00:54:59,250 --> 00:55:02,380
I know I'm disappointing you.
1029
00:55:03,834 --> 00:55:05,424
And I know I'm hurting you,
and you...
1030
00:55:07,834 --> 00:55:09,174
...deserve better.
1031
00:55:11,583 --> 00:55:13,253
So, what if I left?
1032
00:55:13,333 --> 00:55:15,963
Would you be willing
to give me the time
1033
00:55:16,041 --> 00:55:18,421
to just go away--
1034
00:55:18,500 --> 00:55:20,380
Yes.
1035
00:55:25,500 --> 00:55:26,630
Really?
1036
00:55:27,083 --> 00:55:28,503
Yes, I would.
1037
00:55:30,625 --> 00:55:31,575
I don't want this to end.
1038
00:55:33,792 --> 00:55:36,082
I just need to know
that I matter.
1039
00:55:44,250 --> 00:55:46,250
♪ atmospheric music ♪
1040
00:55:46,333 --> 00:55:48,333
♪♪♪
1041
00:55:59,041 --> 00:56:00,461
[waves splashing,
birds twittering]
1042
00:56:25,166 --> 00:56:27,126
[door opens]
1043
00:56:38,333 --> 00:56:40,333
♪♪♪
1044
00:56:49,083 --> 00:56:49,673
[engine starts]
1045
00:57:11,583 --> 00:57:12,583
♪♪♪
64516
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