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1
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2
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3
00:00:07,631 --> 00:00:09,631
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4
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They all work. All four of them.
5
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OK, good. Good to test them.
6
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How is he? Charles? Is he ready?
7
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- Erm...
- CHRIS TARRANT: Emmerdale. Hollyoaks.
8
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EastEnders. Coronation Street.
9
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Emmerdale?
10
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D, Coronation Street.
11
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Coronation Street is
the right answer, well done.
12
00:01:11,411 --> 00:01:14,524
- Oh, bum.
- Yeah, no, he's, erm...
13
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He's going to need
all the help he can get.
14
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_
15
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This way, please.
16
00:01:32,928 --> 00:01:35,324
So this is just a little practice,
17
00:01:35,360 --> 00:01:36,973
before we send you off to the canteen
18
00:01:37,009 --> 00:01:38,729
for a bite to eat, OK?
19
00:01:39,036 --> 00:01:40,965
Oh, and to warn,
20
00:01:41,074 --> 00:01:43,957
we're starting with a rollover
contestant from yesterday.
21
00:01:43,993 --> 00:01:45,525
So you won't be called upon
22
00:01:45,560 --> 00:01:48,230
until probably
quite a way into the show,
23
00:01:48,266 --> 00:01:51,841
just to, like, manage
your expectations and everything.
24
00:01:52,111 --> 00:01:53,477
Right!
25
00:01:53,675 --> 00:01:56,229
Just a rehearsal!
26
00:01:56,560 --> 00:01:57,901
Fingers on buttons.
27
00:01:57,937 --> 00:02:01,191
Put these Disney films
in order of their release.
28
00:02:02,705 --> 00:02:04,743
A, Little Mermaid.
29
00:02:04,954 --> 00:02:06,846
B, Snow White.
30
00:02:06,882 --> 00:02:08,750
C, Aladdin.
31
00:02:08,786 --> 00:02:10,375
D, Dumbo.
32
00:02:14,051 --> 00:02:19,431
OK, pretty straightforward, B, D, A, C.
33
00:02:19,467 --> 00:02:21,432
Let's look who was fastest.
34
00:02:21,713 --> 00:02:25,935
Janet! On 6.52 seconds, well done.
35
00:02:25,971 --> 00:02:28,148
- And, Charles?
- Yeah.
36
00:02:28,411 --> 00:02:31,736
- I'm afraid you were last.
- Oh, well. It's just nice to be here.
37
00:02:31,772 --> 00:02:33,969
- Yeah. Only rehearsal.
- Yeah, OK.
38
00:02:34,024 --> 00:02:36,180
- OK. Over to you, Rebecca.
- Fantastic.
39
00:02:36,216 --> 00:02:38,856
OK, folks, if you'd
like to follow me, please.
40
00:02:42,760 --> 00:02:45,525
He's the husband
of the sister of the brother
41
00:02:45,560 --> 00:02:47,104
who were all here, so...
42
00:02:47,140 --> 00:02:48,406
Oh, Jesus Christ.
43
00:02:48,442 --> 00:02:50,268
But seriously, honestly,
I wouldn't worry,
44
00:02:50,304 --> 00:02:52,524
he's like Tim-Nice-But-Dim army type,
45
00:02:52,560 --> 00:02:53,898
I doubt he'll even get in the chair.
46
00:02:53,934 --> 00:02:56,524
Terrible in rehearsal and, so, yeah.
47
00:02:56,560 --> 00:02:59,242
Oh, and his wife did request
an extra ticket, though.
48
00:02:59,278 --> 00:03:01,578
Audience is full, but I could
put them in the overspill?
49
00:03:01,614 --> 00:03:02,752
Fine, wherever.
50
00:03:08,630 --> 00:03:10,009
Don't be so on edge.
51
00:03:10,712 --> 00:03:12,618
I'm gonna be the one in the chair,
hopefully.
52
00:03:12,966 --> 00:03:14,259
I wish you were more on edge,
53
00:03:14,295 --> 00:03:16,458
so I'd know you knew how
nerve-wracking it is out there.
54
00:03:20,121 --> 00:03:22,390
Well, at least we're
getting to spend more time together.
55
00:03:23,025 --> 00:03:25,185
KNOCK ON DOOR
56
00:03:33,560 --> 00:03:36,052
- All right.
- Of course, yeah.
57
00:03:42,240 --> 00:03:45,896
Right, place these words
of an Agatha Christie novel
58
00:03:46,044 --> 00:03:47,490
in the right order.
59
00:03:47,552 --> 00:03:49,552
Nile, On, Death, The!
60
00:03:53,310 --> 00:03:56,829
And it was, of course,
Death On The Nile.
61
00:03:56,865 --> 00:03:58,926
And who gets to sit in the chair next?
62
00:03:58,962 --> 00:04:01,002
It's... Charles Ingram!
63
00:04:08,470 --> 00:04:09,720
Well done, Charles.
64
00:04:09,756 --> 00:04:11,565
Are you ready to play
for a million pounds?
65
00:04:11,600 --> 00:04:14,137
- Is the Pope a Catholic?
- And... hold there!
66
00:04:14,560 --> 00:04:16,525
- What did I...?
- Oh, don't worry, no, no, no.
67
00:04:16,560 --> 00:04:18,525
It's a lot less continuous
and magic than it is on tele.
68
00:04:18,560 --> 00:04:21,045
Erm, lots of stops and starts.
We're gonna mic your guest up now
69
00:04:21,080 --> 00:04:22,525
and put them
in their seat in the audience.
70
00:04:22,560 --> 00:04:23,899
- Who have you brought?
- Uh, my wife.
71
00:04:23,935 --> 00:04:25,854
You've met actually, she played before.
72
00:04:25,890 --> 00:04:26,978
- Oh, really?
- Yes.
73
00:04:27,178 --> 00:04:28,738
Oh, yes!
74
00:04:30,653 --> 00:04:32,956
Hello... again.
75
00:04:32,992 --> 00:04:35,760
OK, folks, here we go. And...
76
00:04:38,060 --> 00:04:41,345
OK, let's play
Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?
77
00:04:41,560 --> 00:04:45,560
MUSIC AND APPLAUSE
78
00:04:50,294 --> 00:04:52,874
Erm, so, we've seen quite
a lot of the Major's family
79
00:04:52,910 --> 00:04:54,031
on this show, Charles...
80
00:04:54,067 --> 00:04:57,510
First off was his wife,
Diana, who won 32 grand.
81
00:04:57,560 --> 00:05:01,525
Erm, then brother-in-law Adrian,
who won 32 grand, as well.
82
00:05:01,561 --> 00:05:03,830
So it's a matter of
family honour, Charles.
83
00:05:03,920 --> 00:05:06,205
- No pressure, then!
- No. No. No, no pressure.
84
00:05:06,599 --> 00:05:08,056
What, are you trying to win
a million between you?
85
00:05:08,122 --> 00:05:11,087
- LAUGHTER
- First question of 15.
86
00:05:12,560 --> 00:05:14,950
"What name is given to a person
87
00:05:14,986 --> 00:05:19,004
"who is against increasing
the powers of the European Union?"
88
00:05:19,040 --> 00:05:21,525
Eurosceptic. Eurostar.
89
00:05:21,615 --> 00:05:24,892
Eurotrash. Eurovision.
90
00:05:25,126 --> 00:05:27,726
It's, erm...
It's Eurosceptic, Chris, yeah.
91
00:05:27,762 --> 00:05:28,762
That's correct.
92
00:05:31,208 --> 00:05:32,607
So for £2,000.
93
00:05:33,677 --> 00:05:34,766
Coronation Street...
94
00:05:34,920 --> 00:05:35,953
CHRIS GUFFAWS
95
00:05:35,989 --> 00:05:38,380
- I bet you know this one.
- Oh, no, I've never watched it.
96
00:05:38,419 --> 00:05:40,178
Charles, it's been on for 40 years!
97
00:05:40,270 --> 00:05:41,431
I know, I know, I just...
98
00:05:42,911 --> 00:05:46,924
In Coronation Street,
who is Audrey's daughter?
99
00:05:47,411 --> 00:05:52,411
Janice, Gail, Linda, Sally.
100
00:05:54,560 --> 00:05:56,525
Erm, no, it's nothing...
101
00:05:56,560 --> 00:05:58,882
It's nothing, erm...
102
00:05:59,691 --> 00:06:00,868
I'm not getting anything.
103
00:06:01,245 --> 00:06:02,845
_
104
00:06:08,466 --> 00:06:12,466
Erm, no, it's...
105
00:06:26,294 --> 00:06:27,975
Oh, sorry, sir,
106
00:06:28,011 --> 00:06:29,976
you can't be out here
on the phone, I'm afraid.
107
00:06:30,012 --> 00:06:31,117
Yeah, no, sorry, I'm...
108
00:06:31,153 --> 00:06:32,711
I know, I know, sorry,
I just need to, erm...
109
00:06:32,747 --> 00:06:35,168
- Sir, if you don't mind?
- Yeah, of course.
110
00:06:35,442 --> 00:06:37,442
Sorry. I was just trying
to get in touch...
111
00:06:39,759 --> 00:06:40,887
OK, no, I... Yeah.
112
00:06:40,923 --> 00:06:42,898
I'll have to ask the audience, Chris.
113
00:06:42,934 --> 00:06:44,899
- Cut to Chris.
- OK, audience.
114
00:06:45,005 --> 00:06:46,290
She's right. He's an idiot.
115
00:06:46,560 --> 00:06:47,560
Fingers on keypads.
116
00:06:49,470 --> 00:06:52,700
Which still begs the question
how he got in the goddamn chair,
117
00:06:52,966 --> 00:06:55,850
but hey-ho, and all the fun of the fair.
118
00:06:58,429 --> 00:07:02,132
- OK!
- And 89% say Gail.
119
00:07:02,388 --> 00:07:05,758
Well. Gosh, yeah, OK...
Well, I'll go for B, go for Gail.
120
00:07:08,560 --> 00:07:11,241
Oh, "Where is the River Foyle"?
121
00:07:11,302 --> 00:07:13,662
Erm... Erm...
122
00:07:16,356 --> 00:07:18,321
I think I'm gonna have to, erm...
123
00:07:18,560 --> 00:07:21,013
Oh, dear. Yeah, I'm gonna have to...
phone a friend..
124
00:07:21,067 --> 00:07:23,619
It's all right, that's what
the lifelines are there for.
125
00:07:23,655 --> 00:07:25,770
OK, who are we gonna call, Major?
126
00:07:26,270 --> 00:07:29,525
- Erm, Gerald.
- OK, let's call Gerald, please.
127
00:07:29,823 --> 00:07:32,432
- Where's Gerald?
- Erm, South Wales.
128
00:07:32,885 --> 00:07:35,525
PHONE DIALS
129
00:07:35,560 --> 00:07:40,560
PHONE'S DIAL DISTORTS
130
00:07:46,760 --> 00:07:49,725
Mr Pollock, I mean it now,
we'll have to confiscate your phone.
131
00:07:49,760 --> 00:07:52,053
Yeah, all right. OK. OK. Yep, sorry.
132
00:07:54,901 --> 00:07:58,119
- This way, sir.
- Keep an eye on him.
133
00:07:58,380 --> 00:08:01,345
Is the right answer.
And that takes you to £4,000!
134
00:08:01,560 --> 00:08:03,525
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
135
00:08:03,560 --> 00:08:06,205
- KLAXON BLARES
- Oh, no!
136
00:08:06,240 --> 00:08:09,525
Oh, no! Charles, we're gonna
have to drag you back tomorrow,
137
00:08:09,560 --> 00:08:13,045
along with ten new
Fastest Finger First contestants.
138
00:08:13,080 --> 00:08:14,376
- APPLAUSE
- And they are...
139
00:08:14,412 --> 00:08:16,872
Tecwen Whittock from Pontypridd!
140
00:08:16,908 --> 00:08:19,166
Aaron Ford from New Malden!
141
00:08:19,202 --> 00:08:21,167
Jacob Nixon from Frome!
142
00:08:21,560 --> 00:08:23,525
Charlotte Edmonds from Edinburgh.
143
00:08:23,560 --> 00:08:26,112
Helen McGrath form Broadstairs.
144
00:08:26,948 --> 00:08:28,040
Sorry, darling.
145
00:08:28,076 --> 00:08:29,883
Bloody Coronation Street.
146
00:08:30,020 --> 00:08:34,910
It's OK, we just need to
strategise for tomorrow.
147
00:08:34,946 --> 00:08:35,993
We need to regroup.
148
00:08:36,122 --> 00:08:37,180
Well, I can't be back tomorrow,
149
00:08:37,216 --> 00:08:39,181
I mean, I shouldn't really
be here today, so...
150
00:08:39,217 --> 00:08:41,938
- KNOCK ON DOOR
- Knock-knock, sorry to interrupt.
151
00:08:41,974 --> 00:08:43,690
Just giving you your hotel details.
152
00:08:43,726 --> 00:08:46,524
Oh, no, I'm really sorry,
but I actually think
153
00:08:46,560 --> 00:08:48,629
- we have to get back home tonight.
- Back home?
154
00:08:48,665 --> 00:08:50,525
Yeah, I've got... I've
got work in the morning.
155
00:08:50,560 --> 00:08:53,525
But you're our rollover contestant.
You're back in the chair tomorrow.
156
00:08:53,560 --> 00:08:55,525
I know, I know,
but we didn't necessarily think
157
00:08:55,560 --> 00:08:57,061
that we would rollover, did we?
158
00:08:57,096 --> 00:08:57,996
- No.
- No.
159
00:08:58,067 --> 00:09:00,055
- Well, can't you call in sick?
- It's the British Army.
160
00:09:00,091 --> 00:09:01,785
- No, you can't call in sick.
- I know, but, like...
161
00:09:01,821 --> 00:09:04,093
SHE SCOFFS
...there's no war on, is there?
162
00:09:06,781 --> 00:09:08,281
I mean, I'm joking, but I'm not really.
163
00:09:08,317 --> 00:09:09,525
We have to have you back here.
164
00:09:09,560 --> 00:09:10,881
We will be back. I promise, I promise.
165
00:09:10,917 --> 00:09:13,121
But work takes precedence, I'm so sorry.
166
00:09:13,920 --> 00:09:15,855
- Charles, car, five minutes.
- Yeah.
167
00:09:28,293 --> 00:09:30,293
_
168
00:09:33,560 --> 00:09:37,525
PHONE RINGS
169
00:09:37,560 --> 00:09:39,206
Hello, Tecwen speaking.
170
00:09:39,242 --> 00:09:42,524
Ah, yes, Tecwen. Hi.
It's, erm, Diana Ingram here.
171
00:09:42,560 --> 00:09:45,967
- Erm, Adrian's sister.
- Oh. Hello, yes. Diana. Yes.
172
00:09:46,029 --> 00:09:48,439
Oh, my God, fortuitous timing.
You'll never guess what.
173
00:09:48,475 --> 00:09:49,884
Oh, I-I think I can, actually,
174
00:09:49,920 --> 00:09:52,295
you're going to be on the show
tomorrow, I've just heard,
175
00:09:52,356 --> 00:09:56,111
erm, weirdly, I'm here... at the studio.
176
00:09:56,147 --> 00:09:57,525
Charles, my husband, he's here,
177
00:09:57,560 --> 00:09:59,041
he's going to be in the chair tomorrow,
178
00:09:59,077 --> 00:10:00,591
for when you're in
the Fastest Finger seats.
179
00:10:00,627 --> 00:10:03,883
- Oh, my. What a coincidence.
- I know. I know.
180
00:10:03,919 --> 00:10:06,684
So, erm, I just thought
I'd call for a quick chat.
181
00:10:09,091 --> 00:10:14,056
MUSIC AND APPLAUSE
182
00:10:14,357 --> 00:10:15,857
All right?
183
00:10:19,770 --> 00:10:21,735
MUSIC DIES
184
00:10:22,560 --> 00:10:26,625
CLOCK TICKS
185
00:10:27,560 --> 00:10:30,560
HE SIGHS
186
00:10:33,410 --> 00:10:35,092
We're welcoming back Charles,
187
00:10:35,128 --> 00:10:38,093
Major Charles Ingram, into the chair.
188
00:10:38,129 --> 00:10:39,787
"Morning, Major!" "Morning, Fawlty!"
189
00:10:39,823 --> 00:10:41,090
LAUGHTER
190
00:10:41,204 --> 00:10:43,375
So do you have a strategy, then, Major?
191
00:10:43,410 --> 00:10:46,375
Well, erm... Well, yeah, I do.
I do have a strategy, actually.
192
00:10:46,410 --> 00:10:49,375
I, erm... I was a bit defensive
on the last show,
193
00:10:49,410 --> 00:10:51,146
erm, you know,
talking myself out of answers
194
00:10:51,182 --> 00:10:53,147
that I... frankly,
I should have known and do know
195
00:10:53,183 --> 00:10:55,296
and, erm... So, yeah... So I'm... I'm...
196
00:10:55,332 --> 00:10:57,631
Yeah, I'm, sort of,
going on the counterattack.
197
00:10:57,953 --> 00:11:00,078
We're going on a counterattack.
198
00:11:00,311 --> 00:11:01,375
Yeah, and basically I'm...
199
00:11:01,410 --> 00:11:03,764
I'm just gonna try and show
a bit more self-commitment.
200
00:11:03,831 --> 00:11:06,156
Well, erm, let's put this strategy
to the test.
201
00:11:06,192 --> 00:11:10,268
Right, Major Charles Ingram,
are you ready to play?
202
00:11:11,409 --> 00:11:14,926
THEME MUSIC PLAYS
203
00:11:14,962 --> 00:11:17,750
This, for £8,000.
204
00:11:17,979 --> 00:11:22,350
Who was the second husband
of Jacqueline Kennedy?
205
00:11:22,879 --> 00:11:24,442
Adnan Khashoggi.
206
00:11:25,238 --> 00:11:26,486
Ronald Reagan.
207
00:11:26,770 --> 00:11:28,975
Aristotle Onassis.
208
00:11:29,610 --> 00:11:30,975
Rupert Murdoch.
209
00:11:31,636 --> 00:11:34,105
All right, we're not expecting
this guy to be in long,
210
00:11:34,141 --> 00:11:35,375
he's two lifelines down,
211
00:11:35,410 --> 00:11:36,647
so make sure we're prepped for the next.
212
00:11:37,675 --> 00:11:38,715
Roger, roger.
213
00:11:39,996 --> 00:11:41,253
I would have thought...
214
00:11:41,289 --> 00:11:45,366
I would have thought,
it would be Aristotle Onassis.
215
00:11:46,547 --> 00:11:47,607
Erm...
216
00:11:49,909 --> 00:11:53,374
Yeah, one...
One of my sub-strategies is...
217
00:11:53,410 --> 00:11:55,375
Oh, my, we've got sub-strategies now?!
218
00:11:55,410 --> 00:11:57,072
Yeah, yeah, and sub-sub-strategies.
219
00:11:57,108 --> 00:11:59,288
But one of my sub-strategies
is to take my time
220
00:11:59,504 --> 00:12:02,635
and, erm, list all the...
all the options.
221
00:12:03,527 --> 00:12:04,527
So...
222
00:12:06,644 --> 00:12:08,634
Adnan Kashoggi.
223
00:12:09,151 --> 00:12:10,564
Ronald Reagan.
224
00:12:12,354 --> 00:12:13,599
And Rupert Murdoch.
225
00:12:16,601 --> 00:12:18,478
Aristotle Onassis.
226
00:12:19,088 --> 00:12:20,613
COUGHING
227
00:12:29,324 --> 00:12:31,058
Yeah, yeah, I think...
228
00:12:31,094 --> 00:12:34,234
I'm pretty sure
it's, erm, Aristotle Onassis.
229
00:12:34,472 --> 00:12:35,490
Final answer?
230
00:12:36,144 --> 00:12:37,344
Final answer, yeah.
231
00:12:38,575 --> 00:12:39,735
You didn't have to play.
232
00:12:43,027 --> 00:12:45,218
Well, this new self-committed Charles
233
00:12:45,254 --> 00:12:47,885
is a wild and crazy man.
That's the correct answer!
234
00:12:56,792 --> 00:12:58,968
OK, so you've got £16,000.
235
00:12:59,004 --> 00:13:01,746
Now for the all-important 32,000.
236
00:13:03,144 --> 00:13:07,395
Who had a hit UK album
with Born To Do It,
237
00:13:07,644 --> 00:13:09,760
released in 2000?
238
00:13:10,555 --> 00:13:11,752
Coldplay.
239
00:13:13,081 --> 00:13:14,046
Toploader.
240
00:13:14,410 --> 00:13:15,622
A1.
241
00:13:16,510 --> 00:13:17,732
Craig David.
242
00:13:21,015 --> 00:13:22,421
Coldplay.
243
00:13:22,729 --> 00:13:23,982
Toploader.
244
00:13:24,437 --> 00:13:25,678
A1.
245
00:13:26,598 --> 00:13:27,958
Craig David.
246
00:13:35,090 --> 00:13:39,009
HE SIGHS
OK, well, erm...
247
00:13:40,198 --> 00:13:41,481
- All right?
- Yeah.
248
00:13:43,545 --> 00:13:48,116
That major from last night
is nearly up to 32 grand, amazingly.
249
00:13:48,152 --> 00:13:49,117
I think it's A1.
250
00:13:49,153 --> 00:13:50,599
He's like a new man today.
251
00:13:50,863 --> 00:13:52,329
But it could be Toploader.
252
00:13:52,620 --> 00:13:54,632
Which is also something
to do with a barrel on a rifle.
253
00:13:54,668 --> 00:14:00,271
So... Erm, I've never heard
of Craig David.
254
00:14:01,269 --> 00:14:02,453
Erm...
255
00:14:04,206 --> 00:14:06,374
Erm, I...
I'm afraid I'm gonna have to...
256
00:14:06,410 --> 00:14:09,086
I think I'm gonna have to use
my final lifeline, 50:50.
257
00:14:09,410 --> 00:14:11,756
Computer, take away two wrong answers,
258
00:14:11,792 --> 00:14:15,506
leave Charles with the right answer
and one remaining wrong answer.
259
00:14:16,182 --> 00:14:19,783
Oh, that's not any easier...
Erm... Urgh.
260
00:14:26,410 --> 00:14:27,375
Do you know what?
261
00:14:27,410 --> 00:14:29,007
I think I'm gonna go for it,
I think I'm gonna go for A1.
262
00:14:30,250 --> 00:14:31,375
- CROWD GASP
- Final answer?
263
00:14:31,410 --> 00:14:32,379
No.
264
00:14:32,610 --> 00:14:34,034
LAUGHTER
265
00:14:37,683 --> 00:14:38,981
No. Erm...
266
00:14:43,226 --> 00:14:44,719
Craig David...
267
00:14:45,325 --> 00:14:46,507
HE SIGHS
268
00:14:51,122 --> 00:14:53,122
Craig... David.
269
00:14:58,207 --> 00:15:00,207
SHE COUGHS
270
00:15:05,935 --> 00:15:09,223
You know, when... When I'm at home,
erm, and I'm practising,
271
00:15:09,259 --> 00:15:10,996
you know, I guess... I guess...
272
00:15:11,300 --> 00:15:13,486
Well, I guess wrong 80% of the time,
273
00:15:14,410 --> 00:15:17,527
so I think I'm gonna
go with Craig David.
274
00:15:17,610 --> 00:15:19,823
LAUGHTER
275
00:15:19,859 --> 00:15:21,975
Charles, you'd never heard of him
a moment ago?!
276
00:15:22,011 --> 00:15:23,429
No, Craig David. I'm gonna...
277
00:15:23,983 --> 00:15:27,143
- Final answer?
- Yeah, final answer.
278
00:15:29,617 --> 00:15:32,838
Well, erm, what a show
this is turning into.
279
00:15:33,410 --> 00:15:36,375
Major Charles Ingram was on £16,000.
280
00:15:36,410 --> 00:15:38,008
He didn't have to play this question.
281
00:15:38,089 --> 00:15:41,666
He said in his own words that
he'd never heard of Craig David.
282
00:15:41,910 --> 00:15:43,479
He went with A1.
283
00:15:43,656 --> 00:15:46,224
And then, because...
284
00:15:47,120 --> 00:15:48,776
Well, I'd rather lost
the plot of his thinking then,
285
00:15:48,812 --> 00:15:50,737
but he changed his mind,
286
00:15:50,773 --> 00:15:55,738
knowing that he would lose £15,000
if he gave the wrong answer.
287
00:15:55,774 --> 00:15:58,335
He went with Craig David,
who he'd never heard of.
288
00:15:59,089 --> 00:16:00,089
Yep.
289
00:16:01,996 --> 00:16:03,961
And that's the right answer!
290
00:16:03,997 --> 00:16:05,962
- THEME MUSIC PLAYS
- Unbelievable.
291
00:16:06,410 --> 00:16:08,950
I don't know how you do that!
I really don't!
292
00:16:10,410 --> 00:16:12,011
Incredible.
293
00:16:14,183 --> 00:16:17,148
HE PANTS
294
00:16:17,293 --> 00:16:19,333
PHONE RINGS
295
00:16:20,450 --> 00:16:22,262
- Yes?
- Paul. It's David.
296
00:16:22,320 --> 00:16:25,299
It's happening,
I think the thing is happening.
297
00:16:25,682 --> 00:16:27,647
The rollover contestant from last night,
298
00:16:27,683 --> 00:16:28,790
I think he's cheating.
299
00:16:29,598 --> 00:16:32,287
He...? What, in getting on the show?
300
00:16:32,387 --> 00:16:34,030
No, cheating on the show,
301
00:16:34,066 --> 00:16:36,191
cheating at the actual...
the actual game.
302
00:16:36,410 --> 00:16:38,141
- Is the correct answer.
- APPLAUSE
303
00:16:38,177 --> 00:16:40,513
How do you...? You can't cheat the show,
304
00:16:40,620 --> 00:16:42,657
either you know the answer,
or you don't.
305
00:16:42,746 --> 00:16:45,383
Look something isn't right. He's...
306
00:16:47,152 --> 00:16:48,844
Normal people don't play like this.
307
00:16:50,523 --> 00:16:52,636
All right, I'm... I'm coming down.
308
00:16:55,449 --> 00:16:58,409
Yeah, I mean, it's a down payment
on a house, isn't it? So...
309
00:17:04,600 --> 00:17:06,772
So, yeah. Yeah. Holbein. Holbein.
310
00:17:07,652 --> 00:17:08,817
Final answer?
311
00:17:09,097 --> 00:17:10,137
Final answer.
312
00:17:11,832 --> 00:17:15,371
OK. Erm, first of all,
you thought it was Rembrandt.
313
00:17:17,464 --> 00:17:18,992
Said you'd seen the painting.
314
00:17:19,706 --> 00:17:21,368
You then thought it was Holbein.
315
00:17:28,450 --> 00:17:33,900
You've just won £125,000!
316
00:17:35,090 --> 00:17:36,758
Incredible.
317
00:17:36,794 --> 00:17:39,279
Incredible. You're just getting better!
318
00:17:39,694 --> 00:17:41,696
OK, something's weird.
319
00:17:41,940 --> 00:17:44,576
- How is he doing this?
- Yeah, I have no idea.
320
00:17:44,612 --> 00:17:47,577
I mean, you were struggling more
at £200 than you are now.
321
00:17:47,652 --> 00:17:50,617
- I-I dunno!
- Unbelievable.
322
00:17:51,410 --> 00:17:52,375
HE MOUTHS
323
00:17:52,410 --> 00:17:54,375
Well, Charles, here it is.
324
00:17:54,410 --> 00:17:58,100
A cheque, for a quarter of a...
It sounds strange, doesn't it.
325
00:17:58,136 --> 00:18:01,101
...a quarter of a million pounds.
Gosh, you're shaking.
326
00:18:01,230 --> 00:18:02,712
I know, I know, I don't...
327
00:18:02,821 --> 00:18:04,400
I know that, frankly,
you didn't think you'd be able
328
00:18:04,436 --> 00:18:07,374
to equal your wife.
And, frankly, Charles, nor did I.
329
00:18:07,410 --> 00:18:10,517
- LAUGHTER
- Well, this is real money.
330
00:18:10,761 --> 00:18:14,374
£250,000.
331
00:18:14,476 --> 00:18:16,060
But we don't want to give you that!
332
00:18:17,855 --> 00:18:19,220
This question...
333
00:18:19,948 --> 00:18:22,374
for half a million pounds.
334
00:18:22,410 --> 00:18:24,410
THEME MUSIC PLAYS
335
00:18:26,877 --> 00:18:31,877
Baron Haussmann is best known
for the planning of which city?
336
00:18:33,223 --> 00:18:34,288
Rome.
337
00:18:34,972 --> 00:18:36,037
Paris.
338
00:18:36,707 --> 00:18:37,772
Berlin.
339
00:18:38,979 --> 00:18:40,044
Athens.
340
00:18:44,386 --> 00:18:45,521
Think it's Berlin.
341
00:18:45,634 --> 00:18:46,782
LAUGHTER
342
00:18:47,410 --> 00:18:48,410
God!
343
00:18:53,821 --> 00:18:55,146
Yeah, Berlin.
344
00:18:55,182 --> 00:18:56,868
I mean, Haussmann...
345
00:18:57,996 --> 00:18:59,801
You know, seems...
Seems like a German name,
346
00:18:59,837 --> 00:19:01,222
rather than a Italian name,
347
00:19:01,258 --> 00:19:03,144
or a Parisian name, or an Athens name.
348
00:19:03,519 --> 00:19:04,794
Erm...
349
00:19:08,441 --> 00:19:09,561
Rome.
350
00:19:11,261 --> 00:19:12,366
Paris.
351
00:19:13,239 --> 00:19:14,332
COUGHING
352
00:19:18,823 --> 00:19:20,970
Yeah. Do you know,
I'm gonna, I'm gonna rethink it.
353
00:19:21,006 --> 00:19:22,998
Because I don't...
I don't think it's Athens
354
00:19:24,300 --> 00:19:26,280
and I'm pretty sure it's not Rome.
355
00:19:26,472 --> 00:19:27,757
And I would have thought...
356
00:19:27,793 --> 00:19:29,594
I would have thought it was, erm...
357
00:19:31,230 --> 00:19:33,381
Berlin, but there's a chance
it could be Paris.
358
00:19:33,670 --> 00:19:35,110
COUGHING
359
00:19:40,449 --> 00:19:41,646
Oh, God, no.
360
00:19:43,472 --> 00:19:48,350
You stand to lose £218,000.
361
00:19:51,472 --> 00:19:54,139
Yeah, I think... I-I think it's Paris.
I'm gonna play.
362
00:19:55,363 --> 00:19:57,827
Right, hang on.
Now, wait, where are we?!
363
00:20:00,222 --> 00:20:01,514
HE COUGHS
No, Paris.
364
00:20:01,824 --> 00:20:03,149
Paris, final answer.
365
00:20:04,670 --> 00:20:07,108
- Final answer?
- Final answer.
366
00:20:10,970 --> 00:20:12,242
You thought it was Berlin.
367
00:20:13,003 --> 00:20:15,003
"Berlin, Berlin, Berlin".
368
00:20:18,707 --> 00:20:20,334
You changed your mind to Paris...
369
00:20:23,110 --> 00:20:26,110
- That's brought you £500,000!
- Yes! Yes!
370
00:20:27,940 --> 00:20:29,940
That's unbelievable! Unbelievable!
371
00:20:33,651 --> 00:20:35,952
- Incredible.
- Oh, shit, the glitter.
372
00:20:36,410 --> 00:20:37,892
Never thought we'd get to
the million-pound question,
373
00:20:37,928 --> 00:20:38,976
but we're at the million-pound question,
374
00:20:39,012 --> 00:20:41,105
I never prepared the bloody glitter.
Where's the glitter man?
375
00:20:41,238 --> 00:20:47,878
♪ It's raining men, hallelujah
It's raining men, amen ♪
376
00:20:47,914 --> 00:20:51,919
- ♪ It's raining men, hallelujah... ♪
- PHONE RINGS
377
00:20:52,094 --> 00:20:56,454
♪ Ame-e-e-e-en. ♪
378
00:21:20,737 --> 00:21:22,382
Well, erm...
379
00:21:22,832 --> 00:21:25,117
It's not often I get to say this. But...
380
00:21:25,582 --> 00:21:27,955
for £1 million:
381
00:21:29,089 --> 00:21:30,400
The number one,
382
00:21:31,170 --> 00:21:34,195
followed by 100 zeros
383
00:21:34,800 --> 00:21:37,434
is known by what name?
384
00:21:38,374 --> 00:21:39,415
Googol.
385
00:21:40,384 --> 00:21:41,574
Megatron.
386
00:21:43,062 --> 00:21:44,302
Gigabit.
387
00:21:45,119 --> 00:21:46,542
Nanomole.
388
00:21:53,437 --> 00:21:55,196
Well, let's see.
HE EXHALES
389
00:21:56,632 --> 00:21:59,554
Erm, Giga...
390
00:22:00,765 --> 00:22:01,870
Nano...
391
00:22:01,960 --> 00:22:03,433
Oh, God, don't start.
392
00:22:14,960 --> 00:22:16,960
HE STRAINS
393
00:22:18,960 --> 00:22:20,160
Right, OK.
394
00:22:23,442 --> 00:22:26,491
God, I don't... I don't, erm...
395
00:22:26,960 --> 00:22:30,392
- Well?
- Watch, just watch...
396
00:22:31,364 --> 00:22:32,925
I'm not sure.
397
00:22:33,168 --> 00:22:35,217
- However...
- LAUGHTER
398
00:22:36,060 --> 00:22:39,660
Charles, you haven't been sure
since question two!
399
00:22:43,499 --> 00:22:47,587
God, I... I think...
I think it's a Megatron.
400
00:22:53,333 --> 00:22:54,406
I have to say, I've...
401
00:22:54,442 --> 00:22:55,699
And I've never heard,
402
00:22:55,735 --> 00:22:58,250
I haven't...
No, I've never heard of a googol.
403
00:22:59,476 --> 00:23:02,765
HE PANTS
404
00:23:02,800 --> 00:23:06,218
- Do you know the answer?
- Yes, it's googol.
405
00:23:09,317 --> 00:23:10,581
That's what I thought.
406
00:23:14,960 --> 00:23:16,726
- Googol.
- COUGHING
407
00:23:17,811 --> 00:23:19,811
- Googol.
- COUGHING
408
00:23:22,895 --> 00:23:24,925
Yeah, I mean, you know,
by process of elimination,
409
00:23:24,960 --> 00:23:27,624
I actually think it is a googol.
But I don't know what a googol is.
410
00:23:27,960 --> 00:23:29,960
LAUGHTER
411
00:23:32,325 --> 00:23:33,965
It's not a gigabit,
a nanomole, or a Megatron
412
00:23:34,001 --> 00:23:37,361
and there's only four of them,
so it must be googol, mustn't it?
413
00:23:37,397 --> 00:23:38,397
I mean...
414
00:23:40,960 --> 00:23:42,853
HE LAUGHS
415
00:23:44,208 --> 00:23:46,925
I mean, I don't mind taking
the odd risk now and again.
416
00:23:47,225 --> 00:23:49,225
CROWD GROAN
417
00:23:50,584 --> 00:23:53,577
My strategy has... has worked so far.
418
00:24:00,245 --> 00:24:01,925
- Chris, I'm gonna play.
- CROWD GASP
419
00:24:02,383 --> 00:24:04,925
You know, you don't have
to play this, Charles.
420
00:24:04,960 --> 00:24:06,925
No-one would blame you
if you walked away right now,
421
00:24:06,960 --> 00:24:08,960
with half a million pounds.
422
00:24:15,960 --> 00:24:16,925
Googol.
423
00:24:18,169 --> 00:24:19,182
Final answer?
424
00:24:19,888 --> 00:24:20,968
Final answer.
425
00:24:22,077 --> 00:24:24,077
Catch me when I fall on the floor.
426
00:24:28,755 --> 00:24:29,925
Don't go to a break.
427
00:24:30,156 --> 00:24:31,979
Please, don't go to...
Please, don't go for a break.
428
00:24:33,530 --> 00:24:35,395
- We're taking a break.
- Oh, God!
429
00:24:35,960 --> 00:24:37,605
CROWD GROAN
430
00:24:37,729 --> 00:24:40,688
Don't go anywhere, I know you won't,
431
00:24:40,724 --> 00:24:44,166
on what is an epic night
in British television.
432
00:24:44,513 --> 00:24:47,513
THEME MUSIC PLAYS
433
00:24:51,800 --> 00:24:52,960
Oh, my God.
434
00:24:57,681 --> 00:24:59,756
We should stop it now. Just stop it.
435
00:24:59,792 --> 00:25:02,757
We can't stop it, we have no proof.
We just, I don't know, just...
436
00:25:02,793 --> 00:25:04,038
HE SIGHS
437
00:25:05,088 --> 00:25:06,499
We have to carry on.
438
00:25:07,194 --> 00:25:09,925
- You all right?
- Erm, yeah, I just, erm...
439
00:25:10,214 --> 00:25:11,925
I mean, no, not really. HE CHUCKLES
440
00:25:11,960 --> 00:25:13,109
No!
441
00:25:13,960 --> 00:25:16,570
So you can see, can you, if I've got
the answer right on your screen?
442
00:25:16,960 --> 00:25:17,960
I can.
443
00:25:19,351 --> 00:25:20,971
I'm sure it'll just be a few seconds.
444
00:25:29,960 --> 00:25:30,960
Thank you.
445
00:25:32,960 --> 00:25:34,320
HE MOUTHS
446
00:25:41,218 --> 00:25:43,154
OK, studio, and...
447
00:25:44,060 --> 00:25:46,060
THEME MUSIC PLAYS
448
00:25:48,592 --> 00:25:49,632
Welcome back.
449
00:25:49,668 --> 00:25:52,633
Wow. Erm, we are here
with Charles Ingram.
450
00:25:53,236 --> 00:25:56,925
Who, after first thinking
it was Megatron,
451
00:25:57,314 --> 00:26:00,925
erm, then played googol
as his final answer.
452
00:26:01,557 --> 00:26:02,960
Even though he'd never heard of it.
453
00:26:10,311 --> 00:26:11,511
Charles?
454
00:26:15,663 --> 00:26:20,604
You've just won £1 million!
455
00:26:20,640 --> 00:26:23,960
One million!
456
00:26:24,960 --> 00:26:30,925
You are the most amazing player
we have ever, ever had!
457
00:26:30,960 --> 00:26:33,497
Diana? Come on down,
my darling, come on.
458
00:26:33,597 --> 00:26:36,042
One million!
459
00:26:36,725 --> 00:26:39,690
£1 million!
460
00:26:40,060 --> 00:26:43,060
- I can't believe it.
- CHEERING
461
00:26:43,960 --> 00:26:46,873
SHE SOBS
462
00:26:47,639 --> 00:26:50,964
The best player we have ever had!
463
00:26:51,000 --> 00:26:52,605
What a man!
464
00:26:52,756 --> 00:26:55,168
Quite an amazing man.
465
00:26:55,223 --> 00:26:58,925
I have no idea how you did it.
466
00:26:59,111 --> 00:27:01,925
- I don't know.
- Unbelievable! Unbelievable!
467
00:27:02,347 --> 00:27:04,891
Unbelievable, Diana, my darling,
come here.
468
00:27:05,219 --> 00:27:07,925
Ladies and gentlemen, Charles Ingram.
469
00:27:07,960 --> 00:27:12,320
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
470
00:27:15,260 --> 00:27:17,773
♪ Right from her doorway we roam... ♪
471
00:27:17,809 --> 00:27:18,934
THEY LAUGH
472
00:27:18,970 --> 00:27:22,935
♪ Eats and then It's a pleasure again ♪
473
00:27:23,127 --> 00:27:24,522
♪ Walkin' my baby... ♪
474
00:27:24,558 --> 00:27:28,844
"Charles Ingram. One million."
475
00:27:29,709 --> 00:27:32,045
♪ I don't mean maybe
476
00:27:32,081 --> 00:27:34,711
♪ Walkin' my baby
477
00:27:35,460 --> 00:27:40,228
♪ Back home. ♪
478
00:27:40,983 --> 00:27:43,983
THEY LAUGH
479
00:27:45,941 --> 00:27:47,522
What? What am I listening for?
480
00:27:47,558 --> 00:27:49,012
Just wait. It, erm...
481
00:27:49,734 --> 00:27:54,260
I don't know, I don't know,
just... play VT.
482
00:27:56,025 --> 00:27:58,165
- Googol.
- COUGHING
483
00:27:58,572 --> 00:28:00,259
- Googol.
- COUGHING
484
00:28:00,373 --> 00:28:02,040
That, there. Right there.
485
00:28:02,076 --> 00:28:04,041
- A cough.
- So what?
486
00:28:04,077 --> 00:28:05,722
There's always coughing.
487
00:28:05,758 --> 00:28:07,740
I think... I don't definitely know,
488
00:28:07,776 --> 00:28:09,225
but I think there's, like, a pattern.
489
00:28:09,435 --> 00:28:10,983
Of what, coughing? From who?
490
00:28:11,119 --> 00:28:12,604
Look, there's gotta be something, Paul.
491
00:28:12,640 --> 00:28:14,782
Watch last night's tape, he's useless.
492
00:28:14,818 --> 00:28:16,788
And then, what,
he comes back an utter genius?
493
00:28:16,940 --> 00:28:18,206
Replay VT.
494
00:28:19,228 --> 00:28:20,865
- Googol.
- COUGHING
495
00:28:21,751 --> 00:28:22,716
Turn it up.
496
00:28:22,801 --> 00:28:24,399
- Googol.
- COUGHING
497
00:28:24,707 --> 00:28:25,953
Then he changes his answer.
498
00:28:25,989 --> 00:28:28,225
By process of elimination,
I actually think it is a googol.
499
00:28:28,260 --> 00:28:29,971
But I just don't know what a googol is.
500
00:28:35,391 --> 00:28:38,225
- PHONE RINGS
- Hi, Paul?
501
00:28:38,260 --> 00:28:39,225
Um, hi, Ruth.
502
00:28:39,260 --> 00:28:41,942
Erm, we've had another millionaire.
503
00:28:42,260 --> 00:28:44,225
Oh. OK, great!
504
00:28:44,260 --> 00:28:45,355
Except...
505
00:28:47,143 --> 00:28:49,989
I think that...
Erm, we think something's not right.
506
00:28:50,025 --> 00:28:51,684
We think the guy may have cheated.
507
00:28:52,260 --> 00:28:54,059
PHONE RINGS
508
00:28:55,656 --> 00:28:56,761
Hello?
509
00:28:56,962 --> 00:28:58,708
What the shitting hell?
510
00:28:58,811 --> 00:29:01,634
BABY GARBLES
511
00:29:24,019 --> 00:29:25,225
Cheeky bastards, who are they?
512
00:29:25,260 --> 00:29:26,225
Are they one of that group
513
00:29:26,260 --> 00:29:28,225
- you talked about getting on the show?
- Morning.
514
00:29:28,260 --> 00:29:30,206
We don't know,
we just know he's a wrong'un.
515
00:29:30,715 --> 00:29:31,658
Are you OK?
516
00:29:32,260 --> 00:29:34,260
No, I'm not OK, of course, I'm not OK.
517
00:29:35,300 --> 00:29:37,225
Sorry, sorry, it's murder on the old...
518
00:29:37,260 --> 00:29:39,676
- This is Lionel, from legal.
- Coffee? How do you take it?
519
00:29:39,712 --> 00:29:41,225
Oh, just, erm, massive.
520
00:29:41,465 --> 00:29:44,225
Look, before anything else,
521
00:29:44,260 --> 00:29:47,830
the most urgent thing is
whether to air tomorrow's episode,
522
00:29:47,866 --> 00:29:49,920
because if we don't,
then ten million people
523
00:29:49,956 --> 00:29:51,225
are gonna need something else to watch.
524
00:29:51,260 --> 00:29:53,225
I have a tape on its way,
you can see for yourself.
525
00:29:53,260 --> 00:29:55,028
- Well, what about the police?
- The police?
526
00:29:55,064 --> 00:29:57,029
- Yeah.
- Is...? Is this a police...?
527
00:29:57,260 --> 00:30:01,034
- Well, it's not... not.
- It's theft. It's £1 million.
528
00:30:01,103 --> 00:30:04,225
If this was a bank vault
or a diamond store in Hatton Gardens
529
00:30:04,260 --> 00:30:06,025
there'd be helicopters by now,
roadblocks.
530
00:30:06,061 --> 00:30:09,026
Come in... Ah, right, see for yourself.
531
00:30:09,119 --> 00:30:12,225
All I'm saying is, is it a crime
to cheat on a game show?
532
00:30:12,679 --> 00:30:16,050
- Well, it's... It's... Well...
- Stop saying "well", Lionel.
533
00:30:16,111 --> 00:30:18,210
I'm from legal.
It's my job to say "well".
534
00:30:18,260 --> 00:30:19,260
SHE SNEEZES
535
00:30:23,142 --> 00:30:24,162
See for yourselves.
536
00:30:24,662 --> 00:30:25,657
Do you know what?
537
00:30:25,693 --> 00:30:27,322
I think I am going to go for it.
I'm gonna go for A1.
538
00:30:29,683 --> 00:30:31,451
- Final answer?
- No.
539
00:30:31,743 --> 00:30:33,743
LAUGHTER
540
00:30:34,698 --> 00:30:37,856
No. Erm... A1.
541
00:30:39,260 --> 00:30:41,287
Craig... David.
542
00:30:42,260 --> 00:30:43,731
COUGHING
543
00:30:44,443 --> 00:30:47,225
Oh, Jesus, Je-sus.
544
00:30:47,260 --> 00:30:48,403
It's so obvious.
545
00:30:48,606 --> 00:30:51,777
And don't forget that his wife
has already been on the show.
546
00:30:51,882 --> 00:30:53,225
She knows the ins and outs.
547
00:30:53,260 --> 00:30:55,225
I normally guess wrong
80% of the time...
548
00:30:55,260 --> 00:30:57,967
Watch now. He changes his answer.
549
00:30:58,003 --> 00:30:59,624
I think I'm going to
go with Craig David.
550
00:31:00,853 --> 00:31:04,138
- OK, I say we don't air.
- Agreed.
551
00:31:04,174 --> 00:31:06,139
We can edit forward to
the next contestant in the chair.
552
00:31:06,175 --> 00:31:07,905
Would you fast forward, please?
553
00:31:09,939 --> 00:31:11,587
Can we do that, is it that simple?
554
00:31:14,487 --> 00:31:16,370
Oh, arse, the glitter on the floor.
555
00:31:17,260 --> 00:31:18,225
Well, if no-one has won,
556
00:31:18,260 --> 00:31:20,860
- where did the glitter just come from?
- No-one will notice.
557
00:31:20,896 --> 00:31:21,896
Or care.
558
00:31:21,990 --> 00:31:24,796
This is Tecwen Whittock,
from Whitchurch, Cardiff.
559
00:31:25,025 --> 00:31:27,547
Can you stretch out his turn,
make him longer?
560
00:31:27,907 --> 00:31:29,225
It'll be a struggle.
561
00:31:29,482 --> 00:31:32,260
He was erm, nothing special, you know.
562
00:31:33,413 --> 00:31:34,850
KNOCK ON DOOR
563
00:31:34,970 --> 00:31:36,970
- Did you order something?
- No.
564
00:31:42,830 --> 00:31:44,779
- Oh.
- Hello, hello, David Briggs.
565
00:31:44,815 --> 00:31:47,065
- Ah, yes, hello, hello.
- Hello, this is Ruth Settle.
566
00:31:47,101 --> 00:31:49,065
- Hi. Hi, hello. Morning, morning.
- Oh, hello.
567
00:31:49,100 --> 00:31:51,009
- Oh, hi.
- Sleep OK?
568
00:31:51,045 --> 00:31:53,530
If at all, you must be...
569
00:31:53,780 --> 00:31:56,225
- Erm... Oh, what's this about?
- Oh, it's only to, erm...
570
00:31:57,155 --> 00:31:58,912
It's just to work out the next few days.
571
00:31:58,948 --> 00:32:00,224
The angle, the coverage.
572
00:32:00,260 --> 00:32:01,225
So your press conference,
573
00:32:01,260 --> 00:32:04,604
we thought, because of question 12
for 125,000,
574
00:32:04,940 --> 00:32:07,579
The Ambassadors is a painting
by which artist?
575
00:32:10,831 --> 00:32:13,807
- The... What, the Holbein?
- The Holbein. Well done, correct!
576
00:32:14,362 --> 00:32:17,564
We are thinking of hosting
it there, in front of the painting.
577
00:32:17,600 --> 00:32:19,141
Ah, right.
578
00:32:20,620 --> 00:32:21,739
But you...
579
00:32:22,080 --> 00:32:24,821
You did keep changing your mind
a lot, didn't you?
580
00:32:24,857 --> 00:32:27,585
Well, actually, that was to explain
my thinking to the audience,
581
00:32:27,620 --> 00:32:29,780
so I wasn't just, you know,
sat there like a muppet.
582
00:32:31,118 --> 00:32:33,597
It's, erm, probably just that,
don't you think?
583
00:32:34,882 --> 00:32:36,102
What's "probably" what?
584
00:32:37,260 --> 00:32:41,065
Actually, erm, Diana mentions
all these tips in her book
585
00:32:41,100 --> 00:32:42,877
that she's writing with her brother
about the show.
586
00:32:43,913 --> 00:32:46,289
What? It'll help publicise it,
won't it? Being a winner.
587
00:32:46,325 --> 00:32:49,065
- You're writing a book?
- Oh, just a little stocking filler.
588
00:32:49,100 --> 00:32:51,225
With hints and things
about how to get onto the show,
589
00:32:51,260 --> 00:32:53,225
how to play, just a few things
that we've picked up
590
00:32:53,260 --> 00:32:55,357
from this community of fans, that's all.
591
00:32:55,536 --> 00:32:58,225
Gosh, that... That sound really helpful.
592
00:32:58,260 --> 00:33:00,745
- I wouldn't mention that to the press yet.
- No.
593
00:33:00,780 --> 00:33:02,907
We'll... We'll have an embargo
until the show airs.
594
00:33:02,943 --> 00:33:04,942
We have to handle everything...
delicately.
595
00:33:08,260 --> 00:33:09,898
- Guilty as sin.
- There you go.
596
00:33:09,934 --> 00:33:11,134
THEY GRUMBLE
597
00:33:11,170 --> 00:33:14,495
Bollocks. Look, they are
quiz obsessive, they're...
598
00:33:14,620 --> 00:33:17,225
They are fans of the show,
so they're a bit much,
599
00:33:17,260 --> 00:33:18,225
but apart from that.
600
00:33:18,260 --> 00:33:20,835
Watch the tape. Play her the tape.
601
00:33:22,620 --> 00:33:26,600
Oh, and she's, erm,
writing a book, the wife,
602
00:33:26,705 --> 00:33:29,810
- like, erm, an expose of the show.
- She what?!
603
00:33:29,846 --> 00:33:30,847
Oh, my God...
604
00:33:30,883 --> 00:33:32,951
It's just a tiny,
little stocking filler.
605
00:33:32,987 --> 00:33:35,672
Look, I just come off the phone
from some of our guys at the studio
606
00:33:35,708 --> 00:33:38,224
who are investigating all possible,
you know, and...
607
00:33:38,260 --> 00:33:41,553
And they have gone into the car park
with some sort of radio receiver
608
00:33:41,589 --> 00:33:43,225
and they're saying it's possible
609
00:33:43,260 --> 00:33:46,475
to listen in to the show
relay from outside?
610
00:33:46,511 --> 00:33:48,745
David, do we not scramble that signal?
611
00:33:48,780 --> 00:33:50,424
Why would we scramble the signal?
612
00:33:51,260 --> 00:33:53,478
- How do you scramble a signal?
- What's this now? The relay?
613
00:33:53,822 --> 00:33:57,224
I'm just saying that
hypothetically, someone,
614
00:33:57,260 --> 00:33:59,225
maybe someone from this...
this... this group
615
00:33:59,260 --> 00:34:01,963
could listen in to the show
from outside.
616
00:34:01,999 --> 00:34:05,224
- And how would that help them?
- To hear the questions!
617
00:34:05,260 --> 00:34:08,049
Look up the answers
and communicate back in.
618
00:34:08,085 --> 00:34:10,224
- To who? The person in the chair?!
- Maybe! I don't know!
619
00:34:10,260 --> 00:34:12,225
Or someone in the audience,
with a mobile phone.
620
00:34:12,260 --> 00:34:14,225
We don't allow mobile phones
in the studio.
621
00:34:14,260 --> 00:34:16,260
- Yeah, but do we check?
- Course we check.
622
00:34:18,260 --> 00:34:19,307
Do we check?
623
00:34:20,479 --> 00:34:22,905
No. Course we don't check,
how would we check?
624
00:34:22,940 --> 00:34:24,425
You don't search the audience?
625
00:34:24,460 --> 00:34:27,225
Let's get it all out now, shall we?
After the horse has bolted.
626
00:34:27,260 --> 00:34:29,204
This is all just happening this morning.
627
00:34:29,240 --> 00:34:32,137
Right, it's a game show!
It's not Fort Knox!
628
00:34:32,173 --> 00:34:35,224
Whoa, wait, are we saying that
it's not someone coughing, then?
629
00:34:35,260 --> 00:34:38,225
- It could be the coughing.
- It's definitely the coughing.
630
00:34:38,260 --> 00:34:40,461
Either way, I'm calling the police.
631
00:34:40,497 --> 00:34:42,745
Who would you even call?
Like, which, like, branch?
632
00:34:42,780 --> 00:34:44,225
I'll text my person to look up for IP.
633
00:34:44,260 --> 00:34:45,888
Hold on, have they have even
cashed the cheque yet?
634
00:34:45,924 --> 00:34:48,225
Wait, have...?
Have we cancelled the cheque?
635
00:34:48,401 --> 00:34:49,763
I don't know. I mean...
636
00:34:50,454 --> 00:34:52,351
I mean, no, we haven't
cancelled the cheque,
637
00:34:52,387 --> 00:34:55,225
- I've been at the...
- Lionel. Should we cancel the cheque?
638
00:34:55,260 --> 00:34:57,905
I'm just thinking, we might need
to wait for them to cash the cheque
639
00:34:57,940 --> 00:34:59,905
- for it to be stealing.
- No, no, no, if we do that,
640
00:34:59,940 --> 00:35:02,670
that would be entrapment, surely, by us?
641
00:35:02,706 --> 00:35:03,671
Yeah, but if they cash the cheque,
642
00:35:03,707 --> 00:35:05,026
do we have to sue them to get it back?
643
00:35:05,062 --> 00:35:07,107
- Am I cancelling the cheque, or aren't I?!
- Well...
644
00:35:07,143 --> 00:35:11,357
- No, I just don't see it.
- Don't you hear it?! The coughing.
645
00:35:11,393 --> 00:35:13,922
- Is that how loud it actually was?
- Yes.
646
00:35:13,994 --> 00:35:16,959
Well... No, we've isolated them
a bit, for you to hear...
647
00:35:17,260 --> 00:35:19,745
Listen, you can hear the coughs
at the right answers.
648
00:35:19,780 --> 00:35:22,225
Yeah, and I can hear the coughs
on the wrong answers!
649
00:35:22,260 --> 00:35:24,225
Here. These are the people
at Scotland Yard to call,
650
00:35:24,260 --> 00:35:27,225
it's something called the
Celebrity Crimes Squad or something,
651
00:35:27,260 --> 00:35:29,279
- I don't know.
- Really? Sounds like a shit detective show.
652
00:35:29,315 --> 00:35:31,812
- Yeah, sounds like something we'd make.
- Wow.
653
00:35:31,940 --> 00:35:34,225
Wait, I'm confused,
what are we saying to them?
654
00:35:34,260 --> 00:35:36,225
That this is... There's more people?
655
00:35:36,260 --> 00:35:38,225
That this is part
of a bigger... conspiracy?
656
00:35:38,260 --> 00:35:39,225
All I'm saying is we don't know
657
00:35:39,260 --> 00:35:41,089
how many people were outside helping,
658
00:35:41,125 --> 00:35:42,225
inside, helping him.
659
00:35:42,295 --> 00:35:45,083
Yeah, but you can't pack the place
out with people that you know.
660
00:35:45,119 --> 00:35:46,609
You only get the one ticket.
661
00:35:47,972 --> 00:35:48,972
Actually...
662
00:35:51,486 --> 00:35:53,225
Actually, on the first night,
663
00:35:53,260 --> 00:35:54,527
the Ingram's did have
someone else there.
664
00:35:56,894 --> 00:35:58,153
Diana's brother.
665
00:35:59,260 --> 00:36:01,225
The brother... was there...?
666
00:36:01,261 --> 00:36:03,462
- Yeah.
- God dammit!
667
00:36:05,642 --> 00:36:06,642
I'm calling the police.
668
00:36:09,260 --> 00:36:10,225
What a man!
669
00:36:10,260 --> 00:36:13,265
A major disaster is occurring
in New York City this afternoon.'
670
00:36:13,300 --> 00:36:14,583
Wait a sec...
671
00:36:16,520 --> 00:36:17,485
what is that?
672
00:36:17,521 --> 00:36:19,065
World Trade Centre is on fire.
673
00:36:19,100 --> 00:36:22,764
Early indications are
that a Boeing 747 out of Boston
674
00:36:22,800 --> 00:36:27,765
collided with the tower at 1:46 PM
this afternoon, 8:46 AM CET.
675
00:36:27,801 --> 00:36:30,583
- Is that live?
- It must be..
676
00:36:30,619 --> 00:36:33,225
Eye witness reports are coming in
that the plane banked sharply
677
00:36:33,260 --> 00:36:37,065
and made a direct hit at around
the 80th floor of the building.
678
00:36:37,100 --> 00:36:39,667
- More as we have it.
- Thank you, Nicholas.
679
00:36:39,703 --> 00:36:42,668
As you can imagine, there is chaos
in the streets of downtown New York.
680
00:36:42,704 --> 00:36:45,805
All major buildings are being
evacuated in the area
681
00:36:45,841 --> 00:36:47,966
surrounding the World Trade Centre.
682
00:36:48,002 --> 00:36:51,967
There's been a second collision,
possibly another plane goes...
683
00:36:52,854 --> 00:36:55,273
Are you OK? Just awful.
684
00:36:57,475 --> 00:37:00,486
Yeah. Puts it all in perspective,
doesn't it?
685
00:37:01,260 --> 00:37:04,573
I haven't even told the chaps about
our win yet, all seems a bit...
686
00:37:04,842 --> 00:37:07,225
Actually there was a message
for you from Celador
687
00:37:07,260 --> 00:37:09,016
when I got back from
school. I don't know if you...
688
00:37:09,052 --> 00:37:10,027
Right.
689
00:37:10,549 --> 00:37:12,589
OK, well, life goes on, eh?
690
00:37:13,655 --> 00:37:14,887
Yeah.
691
00:37:16,260 --> 00:37:18,225
- I love you.
- I love you.
692
00:37:18,518 --> 00:37:19,749
Give me that number.
693
00:37:22,260 --> 00:37:24,872
Detective Sergeant Sam Ferguson
from the Special Inquiry Unit,
694
00:37:24,908 --> 00:37:27,873
this is my colleague,
Detective Constable Amir Cave.
695
00:37:28,260 --> 00:37:29,225
You rang.
696
00:37:29,260 --> 00:37:32,065
Well, I don't think any of us
expected you to come today,
697
00:37:32,100 --> 00:37:33,880
- given the, erm...
- Yeah.
698
00:37:34,599 --> 00:37:36,736
Terrible thing. But...
699
00:37:36,888 --> 00:37:38,373
crimes still need solving.
700
00:37:38,780 --> 00:37:41,614
So, we've been brought up
to speed by Mr...
701
00:37:41,650 --> 00:37:43,956
- PHONE RINGS
- Oh, excuse me. This'll be him.
702
00:37:50,485 --> 00:37:52,557
- Hello, Paul Smith?
- Paul, hello.
703
00:37:52,593 --> 00:37:55,266
It's Charles Ingram here,
I was just on your show.
704
00:37:55,345 --> 00:37:57,630
Charles, thank you for calling back.
705
00:37:57,885 --> 00:38:00,170
Erm, so I have to tell you...
706
00:38:00,206 --> 00:38:02,072
that we have suspicions
707
00:38:02,108 --> 00:38:04,730
from viewing the recording
of Monday's programme
708
00:38:04,766 --> 00:38:07,393
and subsequently studying
the tapes carefully,
709
00:38:07,784 --> 00:38:11,069
that there were irregularities
during the taping of the show
710
00:38:11,105 --> 00:38:14,015
- in which you participated.
- Oh, Good Lord, no.
711
00:38:15,260 --> 00:38:17,341
Because of that I have to tell
you that these suspicions...
712
00:38:17,377 --> 00:38:20,377
- THEY MUTTER
- ...have been referred to the police.
713
00:38:21,403 --> 00:38:22,354
Right.
714
00:38:22,390 --> 00:38:24,677
And thus we will not, for the moment,
715
00:38:24,896 --> 00:38:29,056
be airing the programme, or indeed
authorising payment of the cheque.
716
00:38:30,260 --> 00:38:31,260
Right.
717
00:38:32,791 --> 00:38:35,415
Yeah. Well, I mean, you know...
718
00:38:36,939 --> 00:38:40,904
...I completely refute that, obviously.
719
00:38:41,369 --> 00:38:42,432
All right.
720
00:38:43,606 --> 00:38:44,748
Good Lord.
721
00:38:48,314 --> 00:38:49,473
Well, goodbye.
722
00:38:50,295 --> 00:38:51,394
Goodbye.
723
00:39:01,757 --> 00:39:05,951
Police? You're an army major.
I'm a teaching assistant.
724
00:39:06,218 --> 00:39:09,304
People like us don't deal with
the police, this is Wiltshire.
725
00:39:09,340 --> 00:39:10,385
It's what he said.
726
00:39:11,140 --> 00:39:15,425
I sort of... told our book publisher
about your win
727
00:39:15,460 --> 00:39:17,425
and they've set up this
photo and interview thing
728
00:39:17,460 --> 00:39:18,463
for this Sunday.
729
00:39:18,499 --> 00:39:20,425
I know the Millionaire
people said not to,
730
00:39:20,460 --> 00:39:22,546
but the publishers
said it was too good not to.
731
00:39:22,601 --> 00:39:24,769
- For the book...
- Well, there won't be a book, will there, if...?
732
00:39:26,352 --> 00:39:29,137
I bet it wasn't the publishers
who said that, I bet it was Adrian.
733
00:39:29,173 --> 00:39:31,828
I bet you've been speaking to him.
Have you spoken to Adrian again?
734
00:39:31,864 --> 00:39:34,250
How? If he's on the run? On the run!
735
00:39:34,578 --> 00:39:37,326
As if that's a normal sentence
for a normal person to say!
736
00:39:37,362 --> 00:39:39,785
I'm a commissioned officer in the
British Army. There are standards.
737
00:39:39,820 --> 00:39:41,320
- DOG WHINES
- Come along, Buffy.
738
00:39:42,140 --> 00:39:44,425
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
How do we know that it was Celador?
739
00:39:44,460 --> 00:39:46,425
That it was Paul Smith you spoke to?
740
00:39:46,460 --> 00:39:48,425
It was, I returned his call,
on the number they left you...
741
00:39:48,460 --> 00:39:50,723
Yes, I know,
but how do we know it's not a hoax.
742
00:39:50,759 --> 00:39:52,885
Someone in the community,
taking the mickey.
743
00:39:53,010 --> 00:39:55,680
What...? Maybe that's what they do
to everyone, everyone who wins.
744
00:39:55,716 --> 00:39:57,681
It's not a mickey-take, Diana.
745
00:39:57,717 --> 00:39:59,878
Well, it's a bit over the top, isn't it?
746
00:40:02,355 --> 00:40:04,265
- Call it back again, that number.
- No. I'm not gonna call it.
747
00:40:04,300 --> 00:40:05,785
- I want to hear it.
- No, I'm not gonna call it back.
748
00:40:05,820 --> 00:40:07,521
- Then I'll do it.
- Diana!
749
00:40:09,428 --> 00:40:12,528
Hello. Erm, this is... Diana Ingram.
750
00:40:15,460 --> 00:40:18,425
- Hello.
- Hi, erm, yes, we received a phone call
751
00:40:18,460 --> 00:40:21,425
from this number earlier
and, well, it occurred to us
752
00:40:21,460 --> 00:40:23,854
that we didn't know
whether it was real, or not.
753
00:40:23,924 --> 00:40:24,999
No, erm, no.
754
00:40:25,065 --> 00:40:27,425
No, I'm afraid it was real.
755
00:40:27,460 --> 00:40:29,465
This... This is Paul Smith.
756
00:40:29,894 --> 00:40:31,711
Yes, but how do we know?
757
00:40:32,194 --> 00:40:33,941
It could be a wind-up. Or the press.
758
00:40:34,175 --> 00:40:35,190
Erm...
759
00:40:35,630 --> 00:40:36,595
Well...
760
00:40:36,631 --> 00:40:37,969
Erm... O-OK.
761
00:40:38,005 --> 00:40:41,056
Erm, why don't you call back again
762
00:40:41,119 --> 00:40:43,425
and I won't answer this time,
763
00:40:43,460 --> 00:40:47,425
it'll take you through to my extension
answering machine message.
764
00:40:47,460 --> 00:40:51,425
And you'll hear that this is me,
and... and this is Celador.
765
00:40:51,460 --> 00:40:54,311
And that... that this is no wind-up,
Mrs Ingram.
766
00:40:55,260 --> 00:40:56,260
OK.
767
00:41:06,300 --> 00:41:10,820
PHONE DIALS
768
00:41:12,824 --> 00:41:15,425
Hello, you've reached
Paul Smith at Celador.
769
00:41:15,582 --> 00:41:19,425
Leave a message and I'll get
back to you when I can, thanks.
770
00:41:19,460 --> 00:41:21,460
MESSAGE TONE BEEPS
771
00:41:27,460 --> 00:41:29,425
HE CLEARS THROAT
772
00:41:29,669 --> 00:41:31,425
We're doing that press interview.
773
00:41:31,783 --> 00:41:34,460
You won that money. It's yours.
So let's tell people.
774
00:41:42,526 --> 00:41:45,227
_
775
00:41:49,657 --> 00:41:51,098
We'll need to make a statement.
776
00:41:51,649 --> 00:41:52,948
They're cheats!
777
00:41:53,342 --> 00:41:55,369
I just can't get my head round it.
778
00:41:55,980 --> 00:42:00,116
That terribly nice major,
a criminal mastermind? Bollocks.
779
00:42:01,199 --> 00:42:03,425
You really didn't notice anything?
780
00:42:03,460 --> 00:42:05,625
Well I-I suppose you've a lot going on.
781
00:42:05,660 --> 00:42:07,945
Yeah, but I'd hope
that I'd have done this enough
782
00:42:07,980 --> 00:42:09,845
to notice if someone
is trying to steal a million quid
783
00:42:09,881 --> 00:42:11,607
two feet in front of me, Paul.
784
00:42:14,053 --> 00:42:15,205
You all right?
785
00:42:16,140 --> 00:42:17,239
You look ragged.
786
00:42:19,981 --> 00:42:21,532
I feel upset, actually.
787
00:42:23,288 --> 00:42:27,074
This... Well, this is our thing,
it's our baby.
788
00:42:27,460 --> 00:42:30,497
No-one will dare try
anything like this again
789
00:42:30,533 --> 00:42:32,463
after all this, don't you worry.
790
00:42:33,643 --> 00:42:35,460
Who the hell was coughing?
791
00:42:36,352 --> 00:42:38,425
So what I'm gonna show you
is what we've edited together
792
00:42:38,460 --> 00:42:40,660
of the show so far
from the different angles.
793
00:42:42,460 --> 00:42:43,555
Play VT.
794
00:42:44,141 --> 00:42:46,057
- Googol.
- COUGHING
795
00:42:46,271 --> 00:42:47,387
That cough there, then.
796
00:42:47,832 --> 00:42:49,338
Can you ascertain where it came from?
797
00:42:49,690 --> 00:42:50,912
Not the individual, no,
798
00:42:50,948 --> 00:42:52,425
we don't mic up every audience member.
799
00:42:52,460 --> 00:42:54,155
But we've got different mic tracks
800
00:42:54,191 --> 00:42:56,156
covering different areas of the studio.
801
00:42:56,362 --> 00:42:57,780
Now that particular cough.
802
00:42:57,816 --> 00:43:00,639
That came from
the Fastest Finger mic, stage right.
803
00:43:01,991 --> 00:43:02,955
Play tape C.
804
00:43:04,460 --> 00:43:06,994
One of these five, sat here.
805
00:43:29,879 --> 00:43:31,644
I'm Detective Sergeant Ferguson.
806
00:43:31,680 --> 00:43:33,425
Here's a warrant to enter your property.
807
00:43:33,460 --> 00:43:35,832
I should tell you,
we're placing you both under arrest
808
00:43:35,868 --> 00:43:37,425
on suspicion of procuring the execution
809
00:43:37,460 --> 00:43:39,425
of a valuable security by deception.
810
00:43:39,772 --> 00:43:40,945
You do not have to say anything...
811
00:43:40,980 --> 00:43:45,425
What you've been told so far
in the case for the prosecution...
812
00:43:45,670 --> 00:43:49,312
seems to make total sense, doesn't it?
813
00:43:50,460 --> 00:43:54,425
A man, who didn't particularly
like quizzes, arrived on the show,
814
00:43:54,545 --> 00:43:57,491
behaved strangely and won a million.
815
00:43:57,820 --> 00:44:02,425
So something must be wrong.
He must have cheated. Right?
816
00:44:02,682 --> 00:44:05,425
- Your Fastest Finger First machine?
- You're not serious.
817
00:44:05,460 --> 00:44:06,425
Uh, it's in the garage.
818
00:44:06,832 --> 00:44:09,548
We'll also be wanting a draft copy
of your book, Mrs Ingram.
819
00:44:09,584 --> 00:44:11,854
My book?
I-I-I... It... It's not finished.
820
00:44:11,890 --> 00:44:14,037
I haven't even spell-checked it yet.
821
00:44:14,140 --> 00:44:15,425
And what about our children?
822
00:44:15,460 --> 00:44:17,042
A specially-trained officer
can stay with them,
823
00:44:17,078 --> 00:44:18,728
- while you both are...
- No. No.
824
00:44:18,990 --> 00:44:20,769
You are under arrest, Mrs Ingram.
825
00:44:20,991 --> 00:44:25,240
But what if I were to tell you
that it's all utter nonsense?
826
00:44:26,300 --> 00:44:27,425
That the three defendants
827
00:44:27,460 --> 00:44:30,029
who allegedly concocted
this elaborate conspiracy
828
00:44:30,065 --> 00:44:32,218
had never even met?
829
00:44:32,460 --> 00:44:35,965
Something that the prosecution
does not dispute.
830
00:44:36,343 --> 00:44:37,916
That the so-called significant coughs
831
00:44:37,952 --> 00:44:43,936
are only 19 out of a 192 recorded
throughout the night?
832
00:44:43,972 --> 00:44:48,945
Sometimes on the right answers,
sometimes on the wrong answers.
833
00:44:48,980 --> 00:44:51,858
And that there is no way
of knowing that any of them
834
00:44:51,894 --> 00:44:53,913
even came from Mr Whittock?
835
00:44:54,554 --> 00:44:56,165
Could it simply be
836
00:44:56,460 --> 00:45:00,155
that everyone on the show
was waiting for an attack?
837
00:45:01,460 --> 00:45:03,434
For something strange to happen?
838
00:45:04,300 --> 00:45:06,034
And in walks Charles Ingram.
839
00:45:06,300 --> 00:45:10,425
A, yes, eccentric, but actually
quite intelligent army major...
840
00:45:10,460 --> 00:45:12,649
and his fate was set.
841
00:45:13,555 --> 00:45:16,425
I put it to you, that this is, in fact,
842
00:45:16,460 --> 00:45:19,192
a series of horrible coincidences.
843
00:45:19,460 --> 00:45:22,199
And that Major Charles Ingram
is completely innocent.
844
00:45:23,280 --> 00:45:27,359
Your Honour,
here is the case for the defence.
845
00:45:27,563 --> 00:45:28,891
HE COUGHS
846
00:45:31,359 --> 00:45:35,359
Sync & corrections by emeline-whovian
www.addic7ed.com
63280
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