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The Celebration

Christian speaking

Hi. I'm here now

I landed this morning

What?

Err... Washed?

I shaved at the airport, if you must know

I shaved at the airport, if you must know!

I'm fine

Right now I'm looking at the fields

My father's land

It's beautiful

It makes me want to move back for good, but there'd be a few problems

I'll make it

Yes, I suppose it will be shocking

What?

You're dropping out

OK. 'Bye

Bloody hell, that's my brother

Why the hell didn't you say something?

As if I saw him! Jesus!

I have to do everything myself

Shit, Christian!

Look at you, man!

See him, Kasper? He's walked all the way from Paris

Only from the station

I could fuck you right here!

- Fucking hell! - You're frisky

It's been bloody ages! It really has

How's tricks?

I'll give you a lift

Hop out, kids!

- I'm giving Christian a lift - There's plenty of room

- Sit in the front - I can walk

No, I want to talk to you

- You really expect us to walk? - What's the problem?

All that way!

He's my brother, for fuck's sake! Give me a break, will you?

Asshole!

Chill out!

- Is Dad here already? - Not yet

- Hello, what's your name? - Lars

Lars... OK, Mads, listen up

I'm not very good with new staff, get it?

Who do you think we are?

This is Christian...

My brother

He has two restaurants in Paris. And I've got...

one cafe in the docklands. Alright

We grew up here, so we know how to treat customers

A really good receptionist

keeps an eye on who's who, right?

And you give us rooms 9 and 19

I'm afraid you're not on the list

What?

Look again: Michael Klingenfeldt

Your father has told me that Michael is not invited

OK, Mads, listen up...

Lars, OK?

Right, Lars...

Things went a bit amok last year. I got a bit pissed...

A couple of schnapps over the top and I freak

I've brought the bloody wife and kids...

Michelle is here too...

That's nothing to do with me

- Is there a room or not? - Not!

- Let me talk to my father - He's out hunting

Sort it out yourself, then. That's your job, right?

Lars, just find a room. I'll talk to Dad

Just give us one of the small rooms

They're never used. Number 3 and 1

Give us one of those

- You don't want a key? - Of course

I must be on the list Is our sister here?

Please get a move on

It's Daddy's birthday, his sixtieth

The cars up ahead, that's my family. I have to get there first

Nadim, wasn't it?

Nadim, yes

If you go a bit faster I'll give you my phone number

Hi, Baby! Hi!

Are you ready? They're nearly here

- You haven't been drinking, right? - Not today

Wasn't it a fantastic funeral?

- I'm ready - What are you doing here?

What?

You missed your sister's funeral, you're not invited

Don't poke your nose into what I do

I'm poking it into what you don't do

You didn't come to her funeral!

You didn't phone on my birthday!

You couldn't give a damn

Now she's starting, too. I'm going home!

- Want my bike? - Come on, you two!

I won't have it

Be quiet. It's always the same bickering

That's right, be quiet

Spoken just like Christian

Stop that!

- Stop it! - Listen to clever Christian

Beep again. So they can hear it

That's his wife. One of the son's

That's Mette, damn it

And the three little piggies

You kids put a sock in it. We're here!

Behave yourselves!

You just don't do that! I'm your sister

Good thing it's only once every ten years

Welcome, Grandad...

Thank you, thank you

- Thanks for the lovely funeral - Thank you

Great to see you again

- Hello again - The trip was so hot

I'll go and unpack my wife

Hi, Dad

Your father asked me to be... toastmaster this evening, OK?

Do you know Lise?

- How are you, my boy? - It's so sad

- The weather, I can't take it - Go have a beer

- You haven't changed - Thanks

Go on into the hall. You'll meet Helge

Hello, Uncle

Christian darling, how lovely you could make it after all!

- You look great - Excuse me, the guests are here

Go to your father. Don't forget to say Happy Birthday

- Hello, Dad. Happy Birthday! - Thank you

- They're all waiting - Sit down a moment

I have something important to tell you

Sit down

Sit down

- Join me in a Cognac? - No, thanks

Yes, it's... very important

I've been thinking about it for days

Listen

Two hookers are sitting in a railway carriage

Don't laugh at your old dad! On his birthday, too!

How dare you? I'll have to tell your mother

We're waiting for you

The boy is laughing in my face

Christian, you mustn't do that

- Fine, let's all tell jokes - Everyone's waiting

To hell with them! If I want a chat with my eldest son

How are things?

Fine. I'm opening a restaurant in Lyons and...

I can read the papers, my boy. You're doing well

How about that girlfriend who's always phoning?

Can't you give her a kid and come back here?

She's having someone else's kid

Then find another girl and move back here

I'm getting older and I want my family around me

- Then there's your mother - What about her?

She's getting tired of my jokes

- I can see why - What do you mean?

What's wrong with my jokes?

There's no respect any more

Tell me how you are

- Got a girl? Oh, I've already asked - Come on!

We're coming

Come along, my boy

Just one thing...

Christian...

Will you say a couple of words about your sister this evening? I'd just blub

- I've already written something - You have? Well done, my boy

- Michael is here - Michael?

I suppose I'll have to talk to him

Your guests are ready

- Michelle, are you married? - No

- You're asking the wrong person - I think so, too

Sorry, that was my other son... I'll have a word with him

Today is Helge's birthday!

He'll get lots of presents. And there'll be buns and cocoa...

Hi, Christian. Which room are you in?

What? Seventeen. Why?

I need to borrow your bath. I mean: May I borrow your bath, please?

And the sound of the sea...

I'll put them down here

- The main course is a secret - A secret?

- You have been hunting today? - Of course

Are you listening?

Good

It was the third time we were going to move to Copenhagen, right?

But Bettina moved in with him instead

- Bettina? - Yes

Anyway, I'm still here, right? We went to the park yesterday

I've been given the room where my sister died

Well, it's better than giving it to Christian

They were twins

It's one thing not wanting to talk about it...

but covering it all up is just silly

Look...

it's spooky

Yes, I can see that

Like a haunted home

I don't think she'd like it either

If we take the covers off and move the furniture a bit...

Then I'll stay with her

I don't mind at all

- Certainly - OK

This is where it happened. The bathroom

Maybe I should have another room

Yes, would you rather?

It's just that...

I'm getting really bad vibes

Did you hear that?

She's in the bathroom

No, she's... she's dead

We'll just have a look

No, I think we should go

No, we must look

Hey, Mette, I can't find them

Have you checked the suitcases?

I can't find my shoes

They should be in a suitcase

I've looked in that one

Keep your shirt on

I can't go to dinner in brown shoes. Dad will go crazy!

They must be somewhere

I've looked everywhere

I think I left them behind

You didn't say that. Get it?

Go back and get them. You've got two hours

Take the car

Stop this shit, Michael

I can't see my dad in socks

You expect me to go home now? What would your mother and father say?

I can't go to dinner in these shoes!

- Are you insane? - You could just pack your own stuff!

I've packed for you, me, and the kids

and you want everything to be just so

If you don't like it, pack your own shit!

I've got fucking news for you!

You're the one who does the packing!

And every single time you lose my shoes!

You're the one who wanted to visit your fucking parents!

I worked for a while at a cake shop

Actually, I'm doing the dessert tonight

What does it mean? An upward arrow? Up, up, up?

If you lie in the bath, maybe you can see if there's something there

The bath? You want me to lie in the bath?

Shall I lie down?

See if you can spot anything

A sign or another arrow

A wave or a fish or a bird. Kind of like Getting Warmer

- It's just not good enough - I'm sorry

I'd just ironed this

I said I was sorry

Shall we... shall we lie down for five minutes?

What about the party?

We'll just lie down for five minutes, right?

There's a fish! It means flat, which means down

I'm not sure I understand this game

Oh dear...

How strange!

We always played it. Getting Warmer

Come on...

Sit down

Check next to the other leg

How sweet of her to have done this... I can hardly bear it

I'm the only one still stuck here

The rest of you go swanning off to Paris and...

You can't sit here crying

I'm sorry

Have one of these

Just say if you want me to go

Didn't you want a bath?

An arrow again

And another arrow

Will you...

- Will I what? - Undo me

Look, I've still got a good ass. Is a bath all it's going to get?

Up there, look!

- On the other side - Where?

Next to the bulb

To whoever finds this letter. You are probably...

- Bloody hell! - It doesn't say anything

Mette, damn it!

Did you leave this soap here?

This pisses me off!

- Michael - Why did you leave the soap here?

You're the one who used it, prick

Shit!

- Did you hurt yourself? - I certainly fucking did!

There have always been ghosts in this house

It doesn't say anything

I'll happily stay here. Thanks for your help

You were really frightened?

Not at all

A bit?

I'm sorry. Thanks for your help

Why the hell did you leave the soap there?

I didn't, you did

- I didn't - You're the one who used it last

- Where are my pants? - I don't know. Over there!

You should take care of your things

- I'm not your babysitter - Shut up! Jesus!

Oh, for God's sake!

The fucking thing's fallen down now. Shit!

- You'd better put it up again - Bollocks!

It's weird. You were always the wild one, getting into fights

Now it's your brother

You can't even be bothered to look at a pretty girl any more

Maybe you think I'm too skinny

Christian?

I'll put it in here. They mustn't find it...

Done

Where have you gone, lovely Christian?

It's six o'clock. Time to get up!

Cards, please! Tickets, please! Or other proof of travel...

My trousers!

- Hi, Grandpa! - Hi, Dad

I'll see you in the lounge in five minutes!

These fucking shoes...

Hi, Bent!

Be cool

Hi, Poul, how's tricks, you old bastard?

Hi, Dad

Later, my boy... we're going in now

It's about...

I've been asked to inquire whether you are interested in the Lodge

I don't see you as one of the brethren, I must say

But Christian has told Preben you're doing well

And as Christian is not interested

you may expect to be invited to join the Freemasons

Strike while the iron is hot. This may be your only...

He could make something of himself...

We have to help you get on

But try to behave like a normal human being tonight, alright?

Keep your hands off what's-her-name... Michelle?

I'd like you to hover about,

keep things running smoothly

Can you manage that?

You, you're supposed to serve drinks. Get a move on, will you?

Go on, move!

Have you got a drink?

We need to talk

I can't right now

You do remember something, don't you?

- Yes, certainly - Jolly good

I was thinking of saying a word or two this evening

I thought as much

It won't be anything fit for little girls

I bet it won't

You fell asleep

Aren't you sleeping properly?

Only with you

It's a great honour for me to act as toastmaster this evening

for the Klingenfeldt-Hansen family

My name is Helmuth von Sachs

Yes, I am from Deutschland Cologne, the Ruhr, the steelworks

And also Helge is a man of steel. Still going strong

Helge, mein Freund, mein danishes Vater,

over to you

Seeing you all reminds me so clearly of the years gone by...

and of all that's happened to us

There's nothing special about turning sixty

It's not a big deal

It seems like yesterday when we concluded the final negotiations

for the take-over of this unique place

Yet it was way back

in the summer of 1971

when my young family walked up these steps

My dear wife,

Helene,

Michael,

and the twins...

The twins...

Ready to move into this beautiful estate

We were so...

We were so full of expectations

I'll stop there

I'll stop there and hope that we will have a lovely party together

Let's eat!

First course. Ready...

Go!

Over and out

- Did you enjoy the drive? - No, it was very hot in the car

You've got air conditioning, Bent

Yes, but it dries your mouth up

- It really is most unpleasant - Really?

The kids are here too

Give me some water!

May I have some water, please?

I'm all wet...

- What's your name, lass? - My name is Mette

- M. E. T. T. E. Mette - That's right, yes, Mette

I said it's lobster soup... Iovely!

No, it's salmon soup

Salmon?

I think it tends more towards lobster

- It's delicious, this soup - Yes. Tomato soup

No, definitely not tomato. It's lobster soup

- Yes - Yes, lobster soup... cheers!

Eldest son's speech... Ready, Morten?

It's nearly seven o'clock and

I should like to propose the first toast, it being my duty as the eldest son

- Correct, Helmuth? - Absolutely

But first, a speech

I've written two, Father

One is green, the other is yellow. You choose

- Green? Yellow? - I'll take the green

The green is an interesting choice, it's a kind of home truth speech

I've called it When Dad had his bath

I was very young when we moved here

Things changed completely for us

We had all the space we wanted

and we filled it with as much trouble as we could cause

This room was a restaurant then

I can't count the times my sister Linda, who is now dead

and I played in here

She would put things in people's food without their noticing

We would hide and watch. Then she would begin to laugh

She had the most infectious laugh you can imagine

In no time at all we'd both be howling with laughter and we'd get caught

But nothing ever happened to us

It was much more dangerous

when Dad had his bath

I don't know if you remember, but Dad was always having baths

He'd take Linda and me into the study...

as there was something he had to do first

Then he'd lock the door and roll down the blinds

Then he'd take his shirt off and his trousers and make us do likewise

He'd lie us across the green couch that's been thrown out now...

and abuse us sexually. He raped us. Had sex with his little ones

Christian!

A couple of months ago, when my sister died

I realised that Helge was a very clean man, with all those baths

I thought I'd share it with the rest of the family

Baths. Summer, winter, spring, autumn, morning, evening...

Really, Helge's a very clean man

I just wanted you to know that seeing as we're celebrating his sixtieth

What a guy!

Lmagine living a long life and watching your children grow up!

And grandchildren!

But you didn't come to listen to me

We've come to celebrate Helge's sixtieth, so let's do so

Thank you for all those wonderful years

Happy Birthday!

I have nothing to drink. Fill our glasses!

Christian, you were the first

but now it's my turn

Elsie, it is your birthday

It's Helge's!

What did he say?

He said it's Helge's birthday, Grandad

Helge, it's your birthday, and that's good

You're a big boy now. Your ears can take a story

from across the seven seas

Nice one, Grandad!

I have to go

When Helge was a young lad

he told me he had trouble finding ladyfriends

- Hello, Christian - Kim...

I've got a plane to catch

Stop, everybody!

May I introduce my boyhood buddy, Christian

You know most of them

Christian, how are you?

- I'm fine - You're fine?

Well done, Christian

You've made your speech and now you're going home

The battle's lost. Nothing's changed

Over

Are you drunk?

How else could I cook?

- How long have we known each other? - A long time

Since Year One?

We scrumped apples together

I've been waiting for this ever since, and you just run away

From your father, who drew lots for you and your sister

A brilliant start to your speech. Drawing lots like your father

What do you want, Kim?

Sorry to interrupt, Grandad

I just want to say that I hope none of you took Christian seriously

He is my brother and I love him dearly

But what he said wasn't true. And I should know, right?

Sorry for interrupting. I'm a little shocked

At 7.15 your father'll come down to give me a time for the main course

I think they like the food, he'll say, as usual

And he'll have his usual glass

Just give me two minutes

I thought you'd gone

Come here!

Bring a schnapps for me and my son

- That was splendid - Thank you

I think they like the food

Have some schnapps

- No, thanks - Really?

That tastes good. Damned good!

I do believe it's damned good

Have one yourself

Come with me

Alone

Off we go!

Well, how are you?

I'm fine

Are you?

Are you sure?

Well, I don't understand this

My memory must be failing me. Age, probably

What do you mean?

What you talked about

I don't recall any of it. You'll have to help me

What happened exactly?

Sorry it's probably me who got it wrong

Don't apologise or you'll really have me worried

I'm just a bit stressed out at the moment with work...

and my sister

Forget it

What you were telling us is a crime. I think we should call the police

No, don't do that

Just forget it

I'm not sleeping well. I'm feeling a bit weird. Sorry

Are things going well upstairs?

Yes, fine, fine

It takes more than that to shake them

Have a good trip home. It was nice seeing you

They're waiting for me

- Helge, it's your birthday - Grandad, not again!

You're a big boy now

Your ears can take a story from across the seven seas

When Helge was a young lad

he told me he had trouble finding ladyfriends

I told him, Listen, lad!

Just buy a big potato and stuff it down your swimming trunks

Go down to the lake and they'll come running!

Anyway, summer came...

- What do you think? - Me?

I don't know what he's planning

He came back in despair and told me things were far worse now

Nobody would talk to him

No wonder, I said. You should have put the potato

down the front of your trunks

For he's a jolly good fellow!

Michelle!

Pia!

A word

Michelle come here, Pia come here. A word

We'll steal their car keys. Over

- What? - Us?

It's Christian's turn tonight. People mustn't go home yet. Over

I don't think he intends to say any more. He apologised

Let's wait and see. Don't tell the old waiters

They need their pensions

Off you go. Now!

We musn't leave any traces

No, no, we'll be careful

I've got it!

Next room

Is everything OK?

There aren't any problems?

No, no. Everything is OK

Is my brother staying the night?

I don't really know

A taxi?

I'll check it out

Hey, Charlie Brown! You've come to the wrong place

Can I go?

Just a moment

Listen, Sambo. I don't know where you met my sister...

- Michael, what are you doing? - What the hell do you mean?

What the hell are you doing?

Mind your fucking manners!

How dare you drag some monkey to Dad's party?

Are you calling Gbatokai a monkey? How dare you? - Chill out

You Nazi bastard!

OK. Push off!

Mum, hang on. This is my boyfriend, Gbatokai

Mum, you haven't met him before. That was someone else

Forgive me for disturbing you again. But I forgot the most important bit

We're here for my father's birthday, not anything else

If I led you up the wrong track earlier, I'd like to make amends

by proposing a toast to my father

- Please stand - Well done, Christian

Raise your glasses!

Here's to the man who killed my sister. To a murderer

I'd like to propose an interval

Cigarettes! Quick!

Play something

Nice and quiet

Play something

No, let's stay a while. We can't just leave

Christian, are you crazy?

Christian, can you hear me?

Are you crazy, Christian?

Make sure nobody goes home

He's sick... sick, damn it!

For the last time! I have phoned...

- Get me a taxi - Just a moment

I can't take it. I already suffer from depression

We can't leave! There are no taxis here

- Fine, then I'll walk - Alright, let's walk!

Here comes the Danish summer. I've had it with these gatherings

- Bent, have you seen the car keys? - No, I haven't

We're leaving but I can't find our car keys

- Problems? - I can't take it

The number you're calling is still engaged

- There is an eleven month wait - May I speak to Kim?

Lars, just take it easy, OK?

Hide those car keys!

In the oven

In the fridge

All gone!

Where the hell is Michelle?

Come in, damn it

Michael, I want a word with you, too

You must leave

No. We're going to talk now

- Mette, you must hear that too - We're going to talk, come on!

In here. Come on

- Let go of me - Calm down, alright?

- OK, what do you want? - Last year...

You came on to me and now you won't even give me the time of day

I'm sorry, right? Damn it...

I've got my wife here

It's funny, she's never been that important before

You know I got pregnant?

Don't worry, I got rid of it. I just thought you should know

Listen, it's my old man's 60th and things are going crazy

Hi, Bent. Bloody hell. Is this your room?

I was just leaving. Seen my car keys?

I'll have a quick look, OK?

Sure you haven't seen them?

I'll get really depressed if I don't find them

I know, I know. Bent, run along downstairs

Pack up your stuff and get out, right?

Here's your wages. Now just fuck off, understand?

You're as fucked up as your Dad

Don't ever talk about my family!

What if I got up and said a couple of words instead?

About you?

About how sick you were as a child?

About the way you always spoiled things for the other children?

Making them watch as you burnt their toys

The warped character you've always been?

About how we had to go to France

to rescue you from that sanatorium where you lay

sick in the head, as ever, pumped full of drugs

to your mother's despair

I could also mention your lack of talent with women

Lovely women

you let go by, year after year

because there is so little man in you. Christian

I could also make a speech about you and your sister

What do you say to that?

Did she ever say goodbye to you?

No. Was there a card? A letter? No. Nothing

There was for the rest of us

And maybe there was a reason why

Because you just left

as usual

Abandoned your sick sister

She kept asking for you

Rushing to the phone every time it rang. But it was never you

As ever, you were only interested in yourself and your sick mind

Now you sling mud at the family that only ever wanted the best for you

Your mother wants you to go and never come back

But I think you should stay right here

Feel what it means to spit in your family's face

After...

After that little intermezzo pianissimo

I think we should return to the dinner table

Ich haber Hunger Ladies and gentlemen...

They're back! Christian isn't very happy

Right! Venison and cranberry, go!

Cheers, Grandad!

It was a superduper speech

You keep yelling into my ear

Grandad, cheers again

Salt and pepper! Cheers!

Champagne! We must have Champagne! And caviar!

If the birthday boy is my danishes Vater,

Elsie is my danishes Mutter

Everyone's Mother!

Elsie, over to you

Give her a hand!

Thank you, Helmuth. Thank you all

I want to say how much I appreciate

your coming today

I also want to say a word or two

to thank my husband, my Helge

Though it may be hard to find the words

to describe what you have meant

and still mean to me

But with your appetite for life

and infinite love for your family,

you have given me everything a wife could wish for

We've had thirty wonderful years. Thank you!

I think I'll take the opportunity to say a word or two to my children

I think it is fantastic to see how well you have done,

especially when I consider how little you once were

Michael,

You are our youngest, our little baby

Not that we've seen that much of you

You were away from home from an early age

First, boarding school

Then away at sea

Then catering college in Switzerland

You never became a chef

but who knows?

At any rate you have given us three splendid grandchildren

for whom your father and I are so grateful

And of course we thank your little Mette

Helene, the family loner

You really are, Helene

Ever since you informed us that you'd decided to become a singer

and had joined the Trotsk... the Young Socialists, I think it was...

We always knew you would choose your own path

And you certainly have

In life as well as your studies

You've ended up in anthropology

Most interesting. Though your father and I always hoped you'd chose Law

But goodness, I can't begin to count the number of foreign countries

and their unfortunate inhabitants with whom you've had contacts

Speaking of which,

I'd like to extend a warm welcome to Gonzales

Mummy, his name is Gbatokai

Welcome, Kai!

Then there is you, Christian

You have always been quite special

A creative child

The stories Christian could tell when he was small!

I always thought you'd make a really good author one day

When Christian was small, for all of you who don't know,

he had a loyal companion called Snoot

who didn't exist

But Snoot and Christian were inseparable

If Snoot didn't like something, neither did Christian

If you were the one at the receiving end,

there was nothing you could do about it

But dear Christian...

It is so important to be able to distinguish fact from fiction

I think you've always had trouble doing so

Of course you can be angry with your father

I am sometimes, too

But it has to be sorted out in private

Telling stories like those you've told this evening

however exciting they may be... and they were exciting...

is going a bit too far

Christian, I think that Snoot has been with you today

and I think you both rather upset your father

So I think it would be appropriate if you stood up,

leaving Snoot in his seat,

and gave your father an apology

It won't belittle you in any way to say you're sorry

It would be quite alright

Christian, you may stand up now

Come on, Christian. Get your fucking act together!

- He's sick in the head, Mum - Christian?

I'm sorry to disturb you again

In 1974 you, my mother, came into the study

to see your son on all fours and your husband with no pants on

I'm sorry you saw me like that

Yet you left the room when your husband ordered you out

I'm sorry you're so hypocritical and corrupt that I hope you die

I'm sorry that you're all such cunts

that you believe her

I'm sorry that for thirty years, Your husband

Let me finish!

I haven't finished!

Christian, cool it. Come on. Out!

- I want my coat - You can have your coat

You were away at boarding school. What the fuck do you know?

But you know anyway!

- You're way out of line! - You know anyway!

- Don't you? - You've gone too far!

Out of my way!

Lock the door!

Is it locked?

I think so

In the deep, deep forest peace

Ehere songsters dwell

Ehere my soul did hearken many a time

To the birds'happy song

Where was I?

Mother, my loyal witness! In 1974 you entered the study...

and saw my father's stiff dick rubbing my hair - You bastard!

You bastard!

He is not well

It's very sad...

Mother, please continue

There is such an idyll, such peace and calm in the sylvan solitude

That all sorrows are stilled

Ehere peace and rest do reign

Get out of here, you bastard!

Fuck off!

Leif, stop that, damn it! He's my brother

Christian, come here!

The game's over, get it?

Have you had enough, man?

Not that! He's my brother

- Come on, get rid of him - Where?

- In the woods - We've got to stop this shit!

- How far? - Just get rid of him

- What do you mean, get rid of him? - Shut up! Over here

We'll leave him by that tree

That's the way. Come on

Do we really have to tie you to a tree, Christian?

What the hell made you talk such shit?

- Is he tied up? - I'm through now

Calm down now

Easy does it

Take it easy, Christian

Leif, have you got a cigarette? I dropped mine

I'll check all the doors

I don't want to talk to him

What have you done to him?

Relax

I talked to him. He's gone home. He's very sorry

So let's take it easy. We'll talk about it later

You want trouble?

Stop it, Michael! Michael, stop it!

That's enough! Back off!

- Hi there, Kim - Hi, Leif

We need to lock the back door

- Where is it? - Right over here

- A bad business - Yes

You didn't kill him, or anything?

He won't be back

- This way? - In here

- This is the wine cellar. - Yes. Over

Cut it out, Kim

What the hell is this?

- You locked him in? - Yes

We can't have his type running around

Hands off!

- Kim, where's Christian? - No idea

Stop drinking, Michael

What did you say?

Why don't you make a speech?

Right, let's get things swinging! A little sing-song

I saw a real Black Sambo

His face was black as pitch

He spoke all funny

And had a ring in his nose

I asked him: Ehat are you?

Ehy are your legs covered in tar?

Hejust laughed and said: Tomrassi gassi bom!

I saw a little Indian

His face was as red as fire He spoke all funny

I can't stand this! They'll kill each other!

I'm going crazy!

I've got such a headache

Will you get my tablets?

- Have you seen Christian? - No, he's gone home

It's for the best

I'll get your tablets

You're all crazy

- You're still capable... - Oh yes

For longer than you think, Helge

It's nearly 10 o'clock

and something exciting is about to happen

As Alfred Hitchcock suggested for his gravestone:

This is what happens to naughty little boys

Helge, you're not getting out of the family tradition

The grand finale!

It's Daddy's birthday! It really is today

Daddy's birthday today!

Now listen to the way we blow the trumpet!

It's Daddy's birthday today!

Listen to the way we play the flute!

You dropped something! You should be more careful

Helene... you're not going already? So soon?

- I want to go home now - Don't be silly

It's time for dessert

I love these family traditions

After the dance around the house a note appears

on the toastmaster's glass

and here is what it says:

A certain man urges his sister to read letter to his father A letter

I think Helene is too shy. Right, Helene?

In any case...

it is kind of your brother to help you get started

And it seems that there is peace in the family again

So let's give Helene a hand

- Come on - Come on, Helene

Don't be shy!

Michael, ignore him!

It's...

It's from my sister

To whoever finds this letter...

You are probably my sister or one of my brothers

Because you can play Getting Warmer

Nudge, nudge!

I know you will be sad to find me

in a bath full of water

But it isn't so sad for me

I know my brothers and sister

are happy, radiant people,

and that I love you

And I think you should just forget me

Christian, my beloved!

Who has always been with me! Thank you for everything

I don't want to mix you up in this. I love you too much for that

And you, Helene. And you, Michael, of course

You nutter

Dad has begun having me again

In my dreams, anyway. And I can't bear any more

I'm going away now

As I probably always should have done

I know it will fill your life with darkness, Christian

I have tried to ring you,

but I know you're busy

I just want to tell you not to be sad

I think there is light and beauty on the other side

In fact, I'm looking forward to it. Although, of course, I am a bit afraid

Afraid of leaving without you

I will love you forever

Linda

Lovely letter

Pour my daughter some port, so that I can drink a toast with her

Pour my daughter some port, so that I can drink a toast with her!

Pass the port to my daughter so I can drink a toast with her

Pass her the bloody port!

Pass the damned port to my daughter!

Show me some respect!

I've never seen the like

What are you staring at?

Is it my fault that I have such talentless offspring?

I've just never really understood why you did it

It was all you were good for

It's been quite a job being toastmaster tonight

I must admit I hadn't tried it before

I am profoundly affected by the situation

We all are

- Nevertheless, I regard it as... - I have to go now

as my responsibility to see this dinner out

So I suggest dancing, music and coffee next door

Good evening

I have collected the car keys and put them back

May I have a glass of water?

Shall I call a doctor?

Christian?

Are you alright? Come on

Christian?

Christian?

Pia?

Pia?

I fell asleep

Pia, my sister is here

I love you

Christian?

I miss you

I miss you, too

Shall I come with you?

I'm going now

- It's Helene. Were you asleep? - What time is it?

Late. Three, I think. I was asleep, too...

if you can call it sleep

You know...

I've been...

Maybe you have, too?

- Have what? - Nothing

Please come, Christian. Michael has disappeared

What's going on? What's he up to?

Michael has vanished and his wife is bawling her eyes out in my room

The party?

It's over

Don't worry about it

They've all gone to bed...

- Find some glasses - Where is Michelle?

In Kim's room, I think

Everyone seems to be in the wrong bed

We're not, are we, Honey?

- I've got a glass for Christian - I want one, too

Just don't use someone's dirty glass

Play the wedding march

Gbatokai and Helene must dance

Because I think you should get married

Dad?

It's Michael, little Michael. I'm coming!

Open the door!

It's the fucking postman

Open the door, damn you!

Open it!

Go inside, Elsie

Michael, stop it!

Go inside, I said!

And I said keep your mouth shut!

I told you, man. Keep your mouth shut!

Lie down, man. Lie down!

I said, lie down!

And stay lying down

I've heard enough shit. Lie down, I said!

You'll never see your grandchildren again, man

Never again. Get it, Dad?

This family...

is kaput

Lie down, I said!

Lie down, I said!

It's me ringing the doorbell

Me, Michael

They mustn't do it!

Stop!

Mummy, what is it?

- They mustn't! - What's going on, Mummy?

They mustn't! They mustn't!

Get out there, Gbatokai

Your father!

You're killing me

Killing me

Waiter, could I have another drink?

I do like to start the day with a little dram

Morten, what are you thinking?

Oh, well. Over

Cheerful little soul, isn't she?

Morning, Christian

- Good morning - Have a roll

Where the hell is Leif?

There you are! How's the wig?

Where do you get your suits creased?

At N'stved

Pia?

Do you want to come to Paris and live with me?

Yes

That'll be all

Have you got the hots for the waitress?

- Michael, shut up and eat up - I'll eat that French stick

Dorthe, come to Daddy

Your father will read it to you, I'm sure

I know it's an inopportune moment. You're having breakfast

I'll try and be brief

I just want to say...

I know that when you pack up and go home...

it will be the last time I see you

I also realise now

that what I did to my children

is unforgivable

I know that all of you

- especially my children

will hate me for the rest of your lives

All the same, I wanted to tell you that you will always be my children

I have always loved you and I love you now

wherever you are or whatever you do

To you, Christian, I want to say

You fought a good fight, my boy

Thank you

Nice one, Dad

Good speech. Well done

But I think you'll have to go now so we can eat our breakfast

Of course, of course

Are you coming?

I'll stay here

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