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? WHAT IS THIS THING ?
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? CALLED LOVE? ?
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? THIS FUNNY THING ?
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? CALLED LOVE ?
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? JUST WHO CAN SOLVE ?
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? ITS MYSTERY? ?
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? WHY SHOULD IT MAKE ?
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? A FOOL OF ME? ?
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? I SAW YOU THERE ?
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? THAT WONDERFUL DAY ?
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? YOU TOOK MY LOVE ?
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? AND THREW IT AWAY ?
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? AND SO I ASK THE LORD ?
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? IN HEAVEN ABOVE ?
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? WHAT IS THIS THING ?
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? CALLED LOVE? ?
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? CALLED LOVE ?
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SO...
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A DRAGON.
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IT'S LIKE A...
BIKER BITCH CHOICE.
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WHAT DOES IT EAT?
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MEN'S DREAMS.
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WHAT?
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OH. THIS IS NOT THE JOCELYN I KNOW.
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YOU DID THIS ON A WHIM?
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WELL, MAYBE YOU LIKE THE JOCELYN YOU DON'T KNOW
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BETTER THAN THE ONE YOU DO.
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BEFORE I RESPOND, WHICH ONE AM I TALKING TO RIGHT NOW?
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YOU'RE ASKING THE WRONG PERSON.
I AM NOT EVEN HERE.
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I AM IN A PLACE OF BLISS.
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THAT'S WHAT YOU DO TO ME,
MICHAEL.
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MY MOTHER.
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SHE'S HALF AN HOUR EARLY.
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IT'S 7:45.
WHAT'S SHE DOING HERE?
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I TOLD YOU. SHE'S TAKING ME ON A SPA WEEKEND IN SAN DIEGO.
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I'M NOT LIFTING A FINGER UNTIL SUNDAY.
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BET YOUR MOTHER WILL FEEL RIGHT AT HOME WITH THAT DRAGON.
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HEY.
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GO.
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OH. THANK YOU.
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THANKS.
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YOU ALL RIGHT, LUTHER?
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YES. JUST... REACTING TO THE PRICES OF THESE ENTREES.
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$125 FOR A STEAK?
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RELAX, LUTHER.
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YOU'RE GOING TO EXPENSE THIS TO MY FATHER ANYWAY.
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WELL, I TAKE UMBRAGE.
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I WONDER WHAT THEY CHARGE FOR THAT.
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IT'S KOBE BEEF, LUTHER.
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IT'S GENTLY YET THOROUGHLY MASSAGED BY HAND,
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AND SOMETIMES EVEN BY FOOT.
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FOOT,
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OH, THAT'S REMARKABLE,
DON'T YOU THINK, LUTHER?
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YES.
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LUTHER.
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WHAT LANGUAGE IS THAT YOU'RE SPEAKING, LUTHER?
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IT'S JAVANESE.
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YOU MEAN... JAPANESE.
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NO, JAVANESE. FROM JAVA.
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WHAT DO WE KNOW OF JAVA?
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IT'S WHERE THE LEGENDARY FOSSIL OF JAVA MAN WAS FOUND.
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FANTASTIC.
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I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE SUCH A FOSSIL BUFF, DARLING.
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GO ON, LUTHER.
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FOR... GOD SAKES. ELABORATE.
WELL...
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WELL, TO NO ONE'S SURPRISE,
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AND GIVEN THE ABUNDANT RAINFALL,
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THE RICE FIELDS IN JAVA ARE AMONG THE...
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WETTEST IN THE WORLD.
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REALLY? HOW WET?
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SOAKING.
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SOAKING.
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OKAY, WELL, HONEY,
LET'S GET SOME BEEF, HUH?
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THAT DINNER WENT ON FUCKING FOREVER.
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I THOUGHT LUTHER WOULD NEVER SHUT UP ABOUT JAVA.
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LIKE I GIVE A BROWN DOUGHNUT.
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YOU KNOW WHAT WAS THE BEST TIME OF MY MARRIAGE TO PEMMIE?
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THE YEAR SHE WAS IN PRISON FOR TAX EVASION.
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MY COCK FINALLY GOT A BREAK.
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THE WOMAN IS INSATIABLE.
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SHE'LL GRIND ANY MAN DOWN LIKE A PIECE OF WOOD ON A LATHE.
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BEFORE I MET HER,
I REALLY LOVED SEX.
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BUT SHE JUST WORE ME OUT.
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SO WHY DO I STAY WITH HER?
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'CAUSE WE GOT SOMETHING TOGETHER.
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DO NOT MENTION THIS TO MY COCK.
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SHE'S DRIVING MUCH CALMER SINCE THE ANGER MANAGEMENT CLASSES.
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YOU ACTUALLY ASKED TO COME ON A RIDE-ALONG?
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DID YOU KNOW SHE WAS DRIVING?
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MICHAEL WANTED TO SEE WHAT I DO WHEN WE'RE NOT TOGETHER
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TRYING TO KILL EACH OTHER.
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HEY, PRESTON.
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THE BIG GUY--
ISN'T THAT LINDELL?
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FUCKHEAD NEVER LEARNS.
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DOWN, MICHAEL, DOWN!
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YOU GET LINDELL.
I'LL GET HECKLE AND JECKLE.
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STOP, OR I'LL SHOOT!
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LIZ!
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STAY IN THE CAR!
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HEY, HEY, HEY! JEEZ!
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DIDN'T I TELL YOU TO STAY IN THE CAR?
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RELAX.
I'M NOT DEAD.
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UNIT 407,
WE HAVE AN OFFICER DOWN.
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PUT SOME PRESSURE ON THE WOUND RIGHT HERE.
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RIGHT THERE.
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STAY HERE.
I'LL GUIDE THE AMBULANCE IN.
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YOU GLAD YOU CAME?
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PUT SOME PRESSURE DOWN THERE.
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NOT SO HARD.
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OKAY. ARE YOU OKAY?
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ME? NEVER BETTER.
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JUST A FLESH WOUND.
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HEY.
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HOW YOU DOING?
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FINE.
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YEAH?
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NOT THE FIRST TIME I'VE BEEN SHOT.
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HOW MANY TIMES?
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COUPLE. WHAT DOES IT MATTER?
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OH, I DON'T KNOW.
LIFE, DEATH, AHH.
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YOU'RE FAR TOO MELODRAMATIC, YOU KNOW THAT?
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LIZ, YOU WERE SHOT.
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I'VE BEEN FULL OF HOLES FOREVER.
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WHAT'S ONE MORE?
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HEY. COME HERE.
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HEY, YOU WERE SHOT.
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HEY. BUT NOT IN THE MOUTH.
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COME HERE.
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UGH. I GOTTA GO GET THAT.
IT'S THE OFFICE.
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Ah, there you are, Michael.
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Hello, Michael.
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How's the franchise agreement coming along?
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A LOT... FASTER NOW THAT I DECIDED TO DRAFT IT
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on my dad's boat.
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NOW I NEED IT FIRST THING IN THE MORNING, HMM?
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IT'LL BE THERE.
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Michael,
I want you to meet someone.
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Say hello to the reason you are working so hard.
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Mirella Brenetti.
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Buon giorno, Michele.
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BUON GIORNO.
IT'S AN HONOR.
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I HAD ONE OF THE BEST MEALS OF MY LIFE
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at Ristorante Brenetti in Florence.
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PERFETTO.
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I WILL HAVE MY HUSBAND PREPARE YOU
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UN PIATTO COSI SPECIALE
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AT THE NEW BRENETTI'S LAS VEGAS.
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CIAO, MICHELE.
CIAO!
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DON'T EVER DO THAT... AGAIN.
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I'M GONNA GO HOME.
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NO, YOU DON'T.
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THERE'S NO ONE THERE TO TAKE CARE OF YOU.
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I DON'T NEED ANYBODY TO TAKE CARE OF ME.
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AH. THAT'S WHAT THIS IS ALL ABOUT.
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THAT'S WHAT WHAT'S ABOUT?
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YOU CAN'T STAND ANYBODY LOOKING AFTER YOU,
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SHOWING YOU SOME CONCERN.
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YEAH? SO?
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HEY.
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WHEATGRASS.
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OH! IT TASTES LIKE MY MOUTH HAS JUST BEEN MOWED.
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WHAT ARE YOU DRINKING THERE,
DARLING?
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IT'S NAKED CHARDONNAY.
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IT'S PERFECTION.
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PERFECTION--
THAT'S FUCKING GREAT.
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YOU SHOULD WRITE WINE REVIEWS, MOTHER.
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DID I TELL YOU A GARDENER SAW US?
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ME AND MICHAEL IN THE BEDROOM,
NAKED.
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HOW MUCH DID HE SEE?
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WE WERE IN THE AFTERGLOW.
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MICHAEL IS QUITE A LOVER.
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WELL, I'M SURE I'M TRANSGRESSING SOME FREUDIAN BOUNDARIES,
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BUT YOUR FATHER IS NOT SO BAD.
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HE COULD TURN PRO.
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WHY, THERE'S THIS LITTLE THING THAT HE DOES !
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OKAY, MOTHER. T.M.I.
T.M.I.
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YOU BROUGHT IT UP.
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I BROUGHT UP ME, NOT YOU
AND MY FATHER THE... PRO.
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WELL, POINT IS,
223
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THANKS TO YOUR DAD'S SKILLS
AND STAGGERING SPERM COUNT,
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YOU'RE HERE.
225
00:13:07,200 --> 00:13:09,560
WE SHOULD CELEBRATE THE MAN AND HIS PENIS.
226
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YOU SAID "PENIS."
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I DIDN'T JUST IMAGINE THAT.
228
00:13:13,400 --> 00:13:15,800
MY ASTHMA HAS A WHOLE NEW TRIGGER NOW.
229
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YEAH. IT'S GIRL TALK.
230
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TRYING TO BOND.
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THIS PLACE IS NICE.
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A CHANCE TO FORGET WHO WE ARE.
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YOU NEVER WANNA DO THAT.
235
00:13:29,460 --> 00:13:31,260
THERE ARE TOO MANY PEOPLE OUT THERE
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READY TO DO IT FOR YOU.
239
00:13:49,630 --> 00:13:51,430
WHAT TIME'S YOUR FLIGHT?
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7:00.
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MEANS YOU'LL BE IN FLORENCE BY MID-MORNING.
242
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REMEMBER WATCHING THE SUNRISE TOGETHER WHEN WE FLEW BACK?
243
00:14:05,830 --> 00:14:07,930
I'VE HAD SUCH A WONDERFUL TIME WITH YOU, ARTHUR.
245
00:14:09,330 --> 00:14:10,860
WE COULD HAVE THIS ALL THE TIME.
246
00:14:12,930 --> 00:14:15,400
THAT WOULD RUIN EVERYTHING.
249
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HEY, REMBRANDT.
250
00:14:41,900 --> 00:14:45,130
YOU'RE BLEEDIN'.
251
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AREN'T WE ALL?
253
00:14:48,460 --> 00:14:51,200
YOU MUST BE MIKEY'S NEW FRIEND LIZ.
254
00:14:51,200 --> 00:14:52,560
I'M VIC.
255
00:14:54,160 --> 00:14:56,460
SHOT OR STABBED?
256
00:14:56,460 --> 00:14:58,530
SHOT. IT'S THE FLESH WOUND.
257
00:14:58,530 --> 00:15:01,930
I GOT A MILLION OF THOSE.
THAT'S WHY I ACT THE WAY I DO.
259
00:15:03,760 --> 00:15:06,300
YOU HUNGRY?
YEAH.
260
00:15:06,300 --> 00:15:08,200
COME ON.
261
00:15:12,160 --> 00:15:13,430
TUNA FISH.
262
00:15:13,430 --> 00:15:17,100
MY SPECIALTY.
263
00:15:17,100 --> 00:15:20,700
TO BE HONEST,
I EAT IT FOR THE MERCURY.
264
00:15:20,700 --> 00:15:23,330
FIGURE ONE DAY,
IT'LL MAKE MY COCK LIGHT UP IN THE DARK.
265
00:15:23,330 --> 00:15:25,860
THAT'D BE GREAT.
YOU CAN READ IN BED.
266
00:15:25,860 --> 00:15:28,500
I'LL HAVE TO BUY A BOOK.
267
00:15:28,500 --> 00:15:32,560
MICHAEL'S TOLD ME ABOUT YOU.
268
00:15:32,560 --> 00:15:35,700
WHAT'D HE SAY?
269
00:15:35,700 --> 00:15:37,800
THAT HE WISHES HE WAS MORE LIKE YOU.
270
00:15:37,800 --> 00:15:40,700
BAD IDEA.
271
00:15:40,700 --> 00:15:43,330
THERE'S ENOUGH OF ME TO GO AROUND FOR EVERYBODY.
273
00:15:45,800 --> 00:15:49,730
UM, SO... YOU DON'T CARE THAT MICHAEL'S SEEING ME?
274
00:15:49,730 --> 00:15:51,530
A GUY WHO'S ENGAGED?
275
00:15:51,530 --> 00:15:55,300
I BELIEVE IN THE THEORY OF MAGNETIC NORTH.
276
00:15:55,300 --> 00:15:57,630
NO MATTER WHERE YOU THINK YOU ARE,
277
00:15:57,630 --> 00:16:01,830
WHERE YOU THINK YOU WANNA BE,
YOU'RE DRAWN TO MAGNETIC NORTH.
278
00:16:01,830 --> 00:16:06,400
AND YOU, MY DEAR,
ARE MAGNETIC NORTH.
280
00:16:08,630 --> 00:16:12,330
HEY, THANKS FOR LETTING ME STAY ON YOUR BOAT.
281
00:16:12,330 --> 00:16:15,500
ANYTIME, AND IT'S A YACHT.
282
00:16:15,500 --> 00:16:17,300
YOU THINK I'D SPEND THIS KIND OF MONEY ON A BOAT?
284
00:16:19,600 --> 00:16:24,430
VIC, I SHOULD--
I SHOULD GET GOING.
285
00:16:24,430 --> 00:16:25,700
WHAT? WHAT?
I'M JUST GETTING TO KNOW YA.
286
00:16:25,700 --> 00:16:27,400
WHERE DO YOU HAVE TO GO?
287
00:16:27,400 --> 00:16:28,660
HOME.
288
00:16:28,660 --> 00:16:31,260
WELL, PROBABLY A GOOD IDEA.
289
00:16:31,260 --> 00:16:32,760
STICK AROUND HERE MUCH LONGER,
290
00:16:32,760 --> 00:16:34,600
I'LL JUST END UP MARRYING YOU.
291
00:16:34,600 --> 00:16:36,600
WHAT'S YOUR RING SIZE?
293
00:16:38,500 --> 00:16:40,860
COME ON.
FINISH YOUR LUNCH.
294
00:16:40,860 --> 00:16:42,360
YOU CAN DO THAT.
OKAY.
297
00:16:50,730 --> 00:16:53,560
AH. MICHAEL, MEET HANSINE.
298
00:16:53,560 --> 00:16:57,660
IT MEANS "GOD IS GOOD" IN NORWEGIAN.
299
00:16:57,660 --> 00:16:59,360
I LOVE YOUR CUT,
300
00:16:59,360 --> 00:17:03,360
BUT IF YOU EVER WANT IT CLOSER AND TIGHTER, CALL ME.
301
00:17:03,360 --> 00:17:05,560
SHE WON A TROPHY
302
00:17:05,560 --> 00:17:08,400
IN OSLO FOR BEST SIDEBURN DESIGN.
303
00:17:08,400 --> 00:17:13,130
LONG IS BEST, BUT THEY MUST ALIGN WITH THE LIPS
304
00:17:13,130 --> 00:17:14,730
TO BE TRULY ALIVE.
305
00:17:14,730 --> 00:17:18,460
SO, HOW'S LIFE ON THE HIGH SEAS WITH DIRTY HARRIET?
306
00:17:18,460 --> 00:17:20,600
SHE'S GETTING THERE.
307
00:17:20,600 --> 00:17:22,830
YOU BELIEVE THIS?
SPENT ALL NIGHT LAST NIGHT
308
00:17:22,830 --> 00:17:26,200
WORKING ON THE BRENETTI FRANCHISE AGREEMENTS FOR ARTHUR,
309
00:17:26,200 --> 00:17:27,760
AND HE'S NOT EVEN HERE?
310
00:17:27,760 --> 00:17:30,430
HE WAS IN A WEIRD FUNK THIS MORNING.
311
00:17:30,430 --> 00:17:32,730
HE SAID...
"DID YOU EVER THINK
312
00:17:32,730 --> 00:17:34,730
"SOMETHING WOULD GO ONE WAY IN YOUR LIFE,
313
00:17:34,730 --> 00:17:37,530
"AND THEN WHEN YOU'VE DISCOVERED YOU ARE WRONG,
314
00:17:37,530 --> 00:17:40,130
IT SHOOK THE PRIMAL ORDER?"
315
00:17:40,130 --> 00:17:42,230
HE SAID THAT?
316
00:17:42,230 --> 00:17:43,830
YOU THINK HE'S COMING OUT?
317
00:17:43,830 --> 00:17:46,260
I HOPE NOT.
HE DOESN'T HAVE THE WARDROBE FOR IT.
318
00:17:46,260 --> 00:17:48,900
VERY TRUE.
320
00:17:50,600 --> 00:17:54,430
I AM THE LAST LIVING ACOLYTE OF THE SWAMI AMRAVATI
321
00:17:54,430 --> 00:17:57,660
WHO WAS, AS YOU ALL KNOW,
WAS THE GREATEST PROPONENT
322
00:17:57,660 --> 00:18:00,460
OF THE 10-HOUR ORGASM.
323
00:18:00,460 --> 00:18:06,260
I WAS HIS LOVER FROM 1951 TO '53
AND THE INSPIRATION
324
00:18:06,260 --> 00:18:10,830
FOR HIS FIRST BOOK, "THE RIGORS OF ENDLESS PLEASURE."
325
00:18:10,830 --> 00:18:13,600
I REMEMBER THE SUMMER WE MET AT HIS SEASIDE RETREAT
326
00:18:13,600 --> 00:18:17,130
IN JAMMU AND KASHMIR.
327
00:18:17,130 --> 00:18:19,230
IT WAS THERE THAT HE TAUGHT THE ANCIENT SECRETS
328
00:18:19,230 --> 00:18:22,460
OF BREATH CONTROL
AND CLITORAL LEVITATION.
329
00:18:22,460 --> 00:18:27,160
THERE ARE THOSE WHO SAY HE DIED,
BUT I WAS THERE.
330
00:18:27,160 --> 00:18:30,600
AFTER HE AND I HAD AN ALL-DAY LOVEMAKING SESSION,
331
00:18:30,600 --> 00:18:36,660
THE SWAMI HAD AN 11-HOUR ORGASM
AND SIMPLY DEMATERIALIZED.
332
00:18:36,660 --> 00:18:39,760
NOW THAT'S... AN ORGASM.
348
00:19:51,860 --> 00:19:55,330
YOU DO ME IN, COUNSELOR.
350
00:19:56,630 --> 00:19:58,200
WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU?
351
00:19:58,200 --> 00:20:03,530
I'M WOUNDED,
BUT I'M MOTIVATED.
354
00:20:12,400 --> 00:20:14,760
I'D LIKE TO FALL ASLEEP NEXT TO YOU.
355
00:20:14,760 --> 00:20:17,360
I'D LIKE THAT, TOO.
356
00:20:17,360 --> 00:20:19,560
OKAY.
357
00:20:28,130 --> 00:20:29,760
HOW'S THE PAIN?
358
00:20:29,760 --> 00:20:32,560
PAIN IS FOR PEOPLE WHO FEEL PAIN.
359
00:20:34,430 --> 00:20:36,330
I MET YOUR DAD TODAY.
360
00:20:36,330 --> 00:20:38,900
OH, YEAH?
HE HIT ON YOU?
361
00:20:38,900 --> 00:20:42,330
HE TALKED TO ME.
362
00:20:42,330 --> 00:20:43,930
THAT'S NOT LIKE HIM.
364
00:20:45,660 --> 00:20:48,300
EVERYONE HAS SIDES.
366
00:20:56,300 --> 00:20:58,160
FUCK!
369
00:21:07,360 --> 00:21:08,660
HEY, YOU OKAY?
370
00:21:08,660 --> 00:21:11,200
GET AWAY.
LIZ.
371
00:21:11,200 --> 00:21:14,400
GET AWAY!
OKAY, OKAY.
WHAT'S GOING ON?
372
00:21:14,400 --> 00:21:16,700
I DROPPED MY LAST PAIN PILL,
AND I CAN'T FUCKING FIND IT.
373
00:21:16,700 --> 00:21:20,700
AND I'M IN FUCKING PAIN.
SO JUST GET THE FUCK OUT!
374
00:21:20,700 --> 00:21:22,900
I'LL HELP YOU FIND THE PILL.
375
00:21:22,900 --> 00:21:24,600
GET THE FUCK OUT!
376
00:21:24,600 --> 00:21:26,430
HEY! HEY, CALM DOWN.
377
00:21:27,600 --> 00:21:29,700
STOP IT.
378
00:21:29,700 --> 00:21:31,830
OKAY.
379
00:21:31,830 --> 00:21:33,760
COME HERE. COME HERE.
381
00:21:35,430 --> 00:21:37,430
LET'S LIE YOU DOWN,
AND I'LL FIND THE PILL.
383
00:21:38,830 --> 00:21:41,760
IT'S OKAY.
PAIN BUILDS CHARACTER.
384
00:21:41,760 --> 00:21:43,530
YOU KNOW WHO SAID THAT?
385
00:21:43,530 --> 00:21:45,330
NO.
386
00:21:45,330 --> 00:21:46,630
GUESS.
388
00:21:47,930 --> 00:21:49,700
NO.
389
00:21:49,700 --> 00:21:53,560
IT WAS MY MOTHER,
TWO MONTHS BEFORE SHE DIED.
390
00:21:53,560 --> 00:21:57,660
SO IT DIDN'T BUILD CHARACTER AT ALL.
IT JUST... KILLED HER.
391
00:21:57,660 --> 00:22:00,360
I'M SORRY. I DIDN'T KNOW THAT,
LIZ. YOU NEVER TOLD ME THAT.
392
00:22:00,360 --> 00:22:03,360
IT WASN'T MUCH OF A STORY.
393
00:22:03,360 --> 00:22:06,730
SHE WAS FINE, AND THEN...
THEN WE BURIED HER.
395
00:22:09,730 --> 00:22:10,930
I'LL FIND THE PILL.
396
00:22:13,230 --> 00:22:15,460
OH, GOD, I HATE YOU BEING SO NICE TO ME.
397
00:22:15,460 --> 00:22:17,560
I KNOW.
YOU KNOW, I REALLY DO.
398
00:22:17,560 --> 00:22:18,900
I KNOW.
402
00:22:29,600 --> 00:22:31,260
HI, STRANGER.
HI.
403
00:22:31,260 --> 00:22:32,730
What are you doing?
404
00:22:32,730 --> 00:22:36,160
WORKING LATE.
405
00:22:36,160 --> 00:22:38,430
HOW WAS THE MOTHER/DAUGHTER WEEKEND?
406
00:22:38,430 --> 00:22:41,900
MM, THE PERFECT PEDICURE SOLVES EVERY PROBLEM IN LIFE.
407
00:22:41,900 --> 00:22:43,660
YOU HAVE PROBLEMS?
408
00:22:43,660 --> 00:22:46,130
WE HAD A BLAST, GOSSIPING,
409
00:22:46,130 --> 00:22:47,530
eating like crazy.
410
00:22:47,530 --> 00:22:50,430
I mean, the place took forever to get to,
411
00:22:50,430 --> 00:22:55,400
AND SOME OF THE WOMEN THERE WERE JUST... OFF THE CHARTS.
412
00:22:55,400 --> 00:22:57,230
Here's a tip.
413
00:22:57,230 --> 00:23:00,300
Never get into a mud bath next to a divorc�e...
414
00:23:00,300 --> 00:23:01,900
I'M LOSING YOU.
415
00:23:03,530 --> 00:23:05,460
HEY, CALL YOU TOMORROW.
417
00:23:11,530 --> 00:23:13,900
HEY, OKAY, OPEN.
422
00:23:27,530 --> 00:23:30,360
THANK YOU.
423
00:23:34,200 --> 00:23:35,900
MM.
424
00:23:35,900 --> 00:23:55,930
MM. OW.
22850
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