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1
00:00:17,290 --> 00:00:18,910
How's the dress look?
2
00:00:19,830 --> 00:00:22,460
I don't wanna get married.
[CHUCKLES]
3
00:00:22,540 --> 00:00:23,540
It's that bad?
4
00:00:23,590 --> 00:00:26,300
No, I'm serious, Colt. I
wanna postpone the wedding.
5
00:00:26,620 --> 00:00:28,170
No, you... No.
6
00:00:28,260 --> 00:00:29,470
What are you doing?
7
00:00:29,600 --> 00:00:32,080
It's bad luck to see the bride
in the dress before the wedding.
8
00:00:32,140 --> 00:00:33,730
Oh, no! My boob popped out!
9
00:00:36,930 --> 00:00:37,930
Wow.
10
00:00:38,590 --> 00:00:39,980
You look so beautiful.
11
00:00:40,060 --> 00:00:42,650
I ain't even disappointed
your boob ain't out.
12
00:00:44,830 --> 00:00:47,530
I look like a bag of
fucking marshmallows.
13
00:00:48,690 --> 00:00:50,400
We're not even getting
married for a month.
14
00:00:50,490 --> 00:00:51,660
It'll only get worse.
15
00:00:51,740 --> 00:00:55,120
Well, I love marshmallows. They're
in a lot of my favorite things:
16
00:00:55,200 --> 00:00:57,540
S'mores, Lucky Charms, Grape-Nuts...
17
00:00:59,290 --> 00:01:02,710
when I put marshmallows in them
'cause all we got is Grape Nuts.
18
00:01:03,580 --> 00:01:05,780
Our wedding is supposed to
be the best day of our lives.
19
00:01:05,840 --> 00:01:08,630
You know what my days are
like now. My feet are swollen.
20
00:01:08,710 --> 00:01:10,550
I have constant backaches.
21
00:01:10,630 --> 00:01:13,720
There's an angry munchkin using
my bladder as a speed bag.
22
00:01:15,390 --> 00:01:18,390
Colt, why don't we get married
after the baby's born?
23
00:01:18,470 --> 00:01:21,480
Whoa. Okay, we've been planning
this for four months, okay?
24
00:01:21,560 --> 00:01:23,750
And you know I don't wanna get
married after the baby comes.
25
00:01:23,770 --> 00:01:25,560
Then it'll be the "B" word.
26
00:01:25,650 --> 00:01:27,350
Okay, you can say "bastard."
27
00:01:27,470 --> 00:01:30,570
Whoa. Not in front of baby Peyton.
28
00:01:31,610 --> 00:01:33,780
You don't even know if
it's a girl or a boy yet.
29
00:01:33,860 --> 00:01:37,580
[CHUCKLES] Only now you understand
the brilliance of the name Peyton.
30
00:01:38,660 --> 00:01:40,000
Look, just...
31
00:01:41,260 --> 00:01:43,540
I want our baby to be born with parents.
32
00:01:43,560 --> 00:01:45,439
What? Whether we're married or not,
33
00:01:45,440 --> 00:01:47,480
we'll still be parents to little Peyton.
34
00:01:47,490 --> 00:01:49,340
Damn it, now I'm doing it.
35
00:01:49,420 --> 00:01:51,510
Look, it's wrong to have
a child out of wedlock.
36
00:01:51,590 --> 00:01:53,880
Oh, God, Colt.
37
00:01:53,900 --> 00:01:55,839
[SCOFFS] Listen... I've
been dreaming about
38
00:01:55,840 --> 00:01:57,840
this day since I was a little girl:
39
00:01:58,470 --> 00:02:00,579
The flower girl spreading rose petals,
40
00:02:00,580 --> 00:02:02,420
my dad walking me down the aisle,
41
00:02:02,850 --> 00:02:04,100
my first dance with you.
42
00:02:04,140 --> 00:02:05,879
And not once did I ever imagine myself
43
00:02:05,880 --> 00:02:07,840
looking like the Michelin Man's mom.
44
00:02:09,570 --> 00:02:10,570
I get it, okay,
45
00:02:10,650 --> 00:02:12,770
but this is the first decision
we're making as parents
46
00:02:12,820 --> 00:02:14,260
and I don't wanna make the wrong one.
47
00:02:14,280 --> 00:02:16,870
Colt, I love you and I
wanna get married. Okay.
48
00:02:16,950 --> 00:02:18,870
But I don't wanna be
some white-trash bride.
49
00:02:19,450 --> 00:02:20,660
I wanna have fun.
50
00:02:20,740 --> 00:02:23,040
I wanna line dance with you
to "Boot Scootin' Boogie,"
51
00:02:23,120 --> 00:02:24,370
and shotgun a beer,
52
00:02:24,460 --> 00:02:26,920
swig Fireball Whisky out of the bottle.
53
00:02:27,500 --> 00:02:30,340
Okay, that, that still
sounds pretty white trash.
54
00:02:32,670 --> 00:02:34,110
I don't wanna get married like this.
55
00:02:34,130 --> 00:02:35,180
Well, I do.
56
00:02:35,260 --> 00:02:37,060
[SIGHS] I don't wanna
talk about this anymore.
57
00:02:37,090 --> 00:02:38,826
[STUTTERS] Well, all right, fine,
when're we gonna talk about it?
58
00:02:38,850 --> 00:02:39,880
After the baby's born.
59
00:02:39,900 --> 00:02:41,350
Fine. Whoa.
60
00:02:41,430 --> 00:02:42,930
I see what you did there.
61
00:02:43,020 --> 00:02:44,890
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
62
00:03:33,170 --> 00:03:39,050
- Synced & corrected by MementMori -
...www.addic7ed.com...
63
00:03:47,620 --> 00:03:52,960
No, we'll be fine, Mags. Yeah. Let
me know how it goes up there.
64
00:03:53,460 --> 00:03:55,300
All right, talk to you.
65
00:03:55,800 --> 00:04:00,640
[INDISTINCT CHATTER ON TV]
66
00:04:00,720 --> 00:04:02,859
Seems like your mom
might've found a buyer
67
00:04:02,860 --> 00:04:04,860
for some of Peterson's old equipment.
68
00:04:05,600 --> 00:04:06,600
Nice.
69
00:04:07,600 --> 00:04:09,940
Wait, is she up in Denver?
70
00:04:10,020 --> 00:04:12,690
Is she gonna pass that Lululemon
outlet on the way back?
71
00:04:14,520 --> 00:04:15,900
'Cause I got a list.
72
00:04:17,570 --> 00:04:18,650
You see this?
73
00:04:18,740 --> 00:04:20,590
[TANYA] We're looking at
live footage of two fires...
74
00:04:20,610 --> 00:04:22,780
Oh, shit... Tanya got a haircut.
75
00:04:25,200 --> 00:04:28,160
Man, I'd kill to have that volume.
76
00:04:28,790 --> 00:04:31,250
I'm talking about the
wildfire behind her.
77
00:04:31,330 --> 00:04:33,000
At this time, the fire services...
78
00:04:33,090 --> 00:04:38,220
And Tanya cut her hair two weeks
ago. Try to stay up with the news.
79
00:04:40,760 --> 00:04:43,350
I'll tell you, it's kinda
hard to see past Tanya.
80
00:04:44,350 --> 00:04:45,930
Oh!
81
00:04:46,010 --> 00:04:48,520
That fire's blazing out of control.
82
00:04:48,600 --> 00:04:51,060
Yeah, it's up in Montrose County.
83
00:04:51,140 --> 00:04:54,150
If the wind turns south, it's
gonna head straight for us.
84
00:04:54,230 --> 00:04:56,920
[INDISTINCT CHATTER ON TV]
Yeah, and if the Democrats get elected,
85
00:04:56,940 --> 00:04:58,179
they're gonna take away our guns
86
00:04:58,180 --> 00:05:00,180
and make the national pastime huggin'.
87
00:05:02,700 --> 00:05:05,450
There ain't never been a fire
north of us that turned south.
88
00:05:05,530 --> 00:05:07,240
Just get the fucking firewood
89
00:05:07,330 --> 00:05:09,910
and everything else that'll
burn away from the house.
90
00:05:10,500 --> 00:05:12,370
And check that gravity line.
91
00:05:12,960 --> 00:05:15,356
We'll figure out what to do with
the cattle when the time comes.
92
00:05:15,380 --> 00:05:16,460
And why don't you get on...
93
00:05:16,500 --> 00:05:20,340
Disc up the field, and put
all the heavy equipment
94
00:05:20,420 --> 00:05:23,550
and the feeders in the middle. I got it.
95
00:05:23,970 --> 00:05:24,970
Great.
96
00:05:25,050 --> 00:05:28,140
Where'd you learn all that
ranching stuff? Lululemon?
97
00:05:32,190 --> 00:05:33,650
Montrose, huh?
98
00:05:34,310 --> 00:05:36,400
It's by the Vossler ranch, innit?
99
00:05:36,980 --> 00:05:39,780
Yeah, they had to
evacuate the whole area.
100
00:05:39,860 --> 00:05:43,610
But don't worry. The governor
declared a state of emergency,
101
00:05:43,700 --> 00:05:46,530
and he tweeted out
"thoughts and prayers."
102
00:05:46,620 --> 00:05:51,330
It included a little
emoji of hands praying,
103
00:05:51,410 --> 00:05:53,670
so problem solved.
104
00:05:55,960 --> 00:05:58,600
You know what the government ought
to declare a state of emergency?
105
00:05:58,880 --> 00:06:00,460
The government. [CHUCKLES]
106
00:06:00,550 --> 00:06:01,970
That's funny.
107
00:06:05,930 --> 00:06:08,330
Do you really think it's funny?
Or you just making fun of me?
108
00:06:09,470 --> 00:06:12,020
No, it's very funny. Good one.
109
00:06:13,810 --> 00:06:17,150
I know it's funny. I don't
need your validation.
110
00:06:20,570 --> 00:06:22,690
That shit is funny, though, right?
111
00:06:23,950 --> 00:06:25,160
[GROANS]
112
00:06:26,570 --> 00:06:27,820
Genny busted?
113
00:06:28,580 --> 00:06:31,120
It's more than busted, dude. It's gone.
114
00:06:32,040 --> 00:06:34,210
Time of death? Right the fuck now.
115
00:06:35,870 --> 00:06:37,710
All right, I'll take a look at it.
116
00:06:38,630 --> 00:06:40,630
[BOTH LAUGH]
117
00:06:40,710 --> 00:06:42,760
Oh, that you laugh at.
118
00:06:43,670 --> 00:06:44,670
[SIGHS]
119
00:06:44,680 --> 00:06:46,040
If that fire comes through here,
120
00:06:46,090 --> 00:06:48,890
we're gonna need this
generator to power the pumps,
121
00:06:48,970 --> 00:06:50,640
so figure the damn thing out.
122
00:06:51,430 --> 00:06:53,730
[SIGHS] Yeah, that's a
great pep talk, Dad.
123
00:06:55,850 --> 00:06:58,080
It's like that time you took the
training wheels off my bike,
124
00:06:58,100 --> 00:06:59,810
and told me to stop falling down.
125
00:07:00,730 --> 00:07:02,299
When I took that helmet away from you,
126
00:07:02,300 --> 00:07:04,280
you learned to ride it, didn't you?
127
00:07:05,150 --> 00:07:08,870
Yeah, I made it all the way
to ER without falling down.
128
00:07:09,660 --> 00:07:11,740
Dad, look, it's trash.
129
00:07:12,740 --> 00:07:14,290
There's no money for a new generator.
130
00:07:15,580 --> 00:07:16,920
There's no money for anything.
131
00:07:17,000 --> 00:07:20,000
Yeah, well, maybe Colt can come up
with one of them mystery checks.
132
00:07:20,590 --> 00:07:21,920
Yeah. That ain't gonna happen.
133
00:07:22,750 --> 00:07:25,270
Come on, dude. Why don't you tell
us where that check came from?
134
00:07:25,420 --> 00:07:28,590
What happened, uh, J.J.
Watt knock up Abby?
135
00:07:31,100 --> 00:07:33,140
He's paying you to pretend it's yours?
136
00:07:34,180 --> 00:07:35,430
Why would I keep that a secret?
137
00:07:37,520 --> 00:07:39,860
That'd just be fucking awesome!
138
00:07:41,190 --> 00:07:42,690
All right, enough.
139
00:07:42,770 --> 00:07:45,690
I don't care if you have to
duct tape it or super give it.
140
00:07:46,190 --> 00:07:47,780
Quit whining and fix it.
141
00:07:49,030 --> 00:07:50,030
[SIGHS]
142
00:07:50,070 --> 00:07:53,830
Same thing he said when I broke
my arm after I fell off my bike.
143
00:07:57,540 --> 00:07:59,420
There's no way they
need this many tests.
144
00:07:59,500 --> 00:08:03,920
They've taken so many samples already,
I feel like a goddamn Costco.
145
00:08:06,260 --> 00:08:08,300
Doctors know what they're doing.
146
00:08:08,800 --> 00:08:10,406
Do you think you know
more than the mechanic
147
00:08:10,430 --> 00:08:11,550
when you take your truck in?
148
00:08:11,850 --> 00:08:15,060
Why in the hell would I take
my truck to a mechanic?
149
00:08:17,680 --> 00:08:19,060
Hello, Mr. Bennett.
150
00:08:19,140 --> 00:08:20,650
Hi.
Hi.
151
00:08:20,730 --> 00:08:22,230
Dr. Boyd, this is Joanne.
152
00:08:23,400 --> 00:08:26,190
It's nice to meet you. I'm
impressed he has a female doctor.
153
00:08:26,280 --> 00:08:28,190
That's very open-minded of you.
154
00:08:29,860 --> 00:08:32,820
Her dad died and she's using his name.
155
00:08:32,910 --> 00:08:34,030
She tricked me.
156
00:08:36,040 --> 00:08:38,400
We have the results of your blood
work and things look good.
157
00:08:38,960 --> 00:08:41,830
Well, I'm glad you're able
to tell me that at 3:53
158
00:08:41,920 --> 00:08:44,000
for my three o'clock appointment.
159
00:08:44,960 --> 00:08:46,710
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY] I'm
sorry about the wait.
160
00:08:46,800 --> 00:08:49,050
The good news is we got
your HDL cholesterol up,
161
00:08:49,130 --> 00:08:50,680
but we need to get your LDLs lower.
162
00:08:51,100 --> 00:08:53,419
We also need to get
something else on your
163
00:08:53,420 --> 00:08:56,040
waiting room TV other than The View.
164
00:08:58,270 --> 00:08:59,750
Well, the last time you came,
165
00:08:59,760 --> 00:09:03,270
there was a soccer game on and
you called me a communist.
166
00:09:06,110 --> 00:09:07,350
I'd like you to switch statins.
167
00:09:07,780 --> 00:09:09,860
This one targets the
LDL a little better.
168
00:09:12,320 --> 00:09:13,490
I got a question for you.
169
00:09:14,070 --> 00:09:15,280
This should be fun.
170
00:09:17,370 --> 00:09:20,000
How much are the crooked
pharmaceutical companies paying you
171
00:09:20,080 --> 00:09:22,710
to hawk this new medication
you're putting me on?
172
00:09:23,290 --> 00:09:24,290
That was fun.
173
00:09:25,920 --> 00:09:28,170
Maybe this will make you feel better.
174
00:09:32,760 --> 00:09:34,050
Oh.
175
00:09:35,390 --> 00:09:37,140
I have to update the seating chart.
176
00:09:37,220 --> 00:09:40,560
Turns out Uncle Gary's
coming to the wedding.
177
00:09:40,640 --> 00:09:43,940
He's bringing his friend.
His male friend.
178
00:09:45,610 --> 00:09:50,860
Don't be surprised if
they're dancing... together.
179
00:09:52,450 --> 00:09:54,360
Ma, they're gay. We get it.
180
00:09:55,620 --> 00:09:57,660
They don't like to be called gay.
181
00:09:57,740 --> 00:09:59,240
Yes, they do.
182
00:10:00,750 --> 00:10:03,710
I don't know what's PC
to call anybody anymore.
183
00:10:03,790 --> 00:10:05,080
The whole thing's retarded.
184
00:10:10,210 --> 00:10:12,590
[CLEARS THROAT] Well, if Gary
is coming to the wedding,
185
00:10:13,090 --> 00:10:15,300
don't sit him next to my
opinionated cousin, Bobby.
186
00:10:16,300 --> 00:10:17,640
That's PC for racist.
187
00:10:20,680 --> 00:10:22,770
Also, he don't like the gays.
188
00:10:24,690 --> 00:10:26,560
Oh, before I forget, I
spoke to Father McGinty.
189
00:10:26,650 --> 00:10:29,940
If we're gonna use him, we've
gotta let him know ASAP.
190
00:10:30,030 --> 00:10:32,150
August is his biggest
month for funerals.
191
00:10:34,650 --> 00:10:38,030
Some stubborn old folks
just won't put on their AC.
192
00:10:39,030 --> 00:10:41,750
Seventy-eight degrees is fine, Janice.
193
00:10:43,800 --> 00:10:45,979
Can we please just change the subject?
194
00:10:45,980 --> 00:10:47,980
All we ever talk about is the wedding.
195
00:10:48,250 --> 00:10:49,250
Oh.
196
00:10:49,340 --> 00:10:52,670
I'm sorry. I'm just so excited.
197
00:10:52,760 --> 00:10:55,050
It's just, you're my baby girl, and I...
198
00:10:55,130 --> 00:10:57,300
I wanna give you the
wedding of your dreams.
199
00:10:57,890 --> 00:11:00,140
Yeah, the wedding of my dreams. [SIGHS]
200
00:11:02,180 --> 00:11:05,020
All right, look, I'm sorry I
didn't say this sooner, but...
201
00:11:06,060 --> 00:11:08,650
I just, I just, I didn't know how.
202
00:11:10,110 --> 00:11:11,780
I'm gonna have to postpone the wedding.
203
00:11:11,860 --> 00:11:12,860
What?
204
00:11:12,940 --> 00:11:14,046
Colt, I thought we were gonna
talk about this some more.
205
00:11:14,070 --> 00:11:15,200
No, no... All right, look...
206
00:11:15,900 --> 00:11:18,820
I'm sorry. I just... I got
a lot going on right now.
207
00:11:18,910 --> 00:11:21,700
The two ranches, we gotta
get the cattle to market.
208
00:11:22,410 --> 00:11:23,410
We just...
209
00:11:24,700 --> 00:11:27,140
We're gonna have to hold off the
wedding until after the baby.
210
00:11:27,370 --> 00:11:30,500
And you didn't wanna stop at
the drugstore for my Xanax.
211
00:11:34,010 --> 00:11:37,800
So, our grandchild is gonna
be born out of wedlock?
212
00:11:37,880 --> 00:11:41,050
[STUTTERS] Mr. Philips, Mrs. Phillips...
213
00:11:41,140 --> 00:11:42,619
no matter when this baby's born,
214
00:11:42,620 --> 00:11:44,360
it's gonna have two
parents that love it.
215
00:11:46,480 --> 00:11:49,100
Well, I know I won't love it the same.
216
00:11:51,110 --> 00:11:52,650
I can't believe you're doing this.
217
00:11:53,230 --> 00:11:55,780
Especially when I've been
so supportive of you.
218
00:11:57,400 --> 00:11:59,740
Okay. Hold on, Mom, this isn't...
Abby, don't.
219
00:12:01,370 --> 00:12:04,160
If your parents are gonna be mad
at someone, let them be mad at me.
220
00:12:04,740 --> 00:12:06,500
Well, you're damn right we're mad.
221
00:12:06,580 --> 00:12:10,790
You know how much energy and time
Janice has put into this wedding?
222
00:12:10,880 --> 00:12:12,130
She made a PowerPoint.
223
00:12:16,050 --> 00:12:17,090
Oh, hi.
224
00:12:17,670 --> 00:12:20,430
You must be the blushing
bride's parents.
225
00:12:20,510 --> 00:12:23,470
It's a pleasure to meet...
It's not a good time, Hank.
226
00:12:24,510 --> 00:12:25,680
It never is.
227
00:12:35,690 --> 00:12:37,150
Oh, man.
228
00:12:40,110 --> 00:12:41,120
All right... Well,
229
00:12:41,160 --> 00:12:44,280
we'll talk later, at some point.
230
00:12:46,290 --> 00:12:47,370
Probably?
231
00:12:49,160 --> 00:12:50,250
[ABBY SIGHS]
232
00:12:50,330 --> 00:12:52,540
That was fun.
Yeah.
233
00:12:52,630 --> 00:12:56,250
I'm glad your dad forgot to turn
off the blinker halfway home.
234
00:12:58,090 --> 00:13:00,800
It drowned out the sound
of your mom sobbing.
235
00:13:02,220 --> 00:13:03,550
[SIGHS]
236
00:13:03,560 --> 00:13:06,239
Well, I appreciate you taking the bullet
237
00:13:06,240 --> 00:13:07,809
like that for me with my parents.
238
00:13:07,810 --> 00:13:09,520
You didn't have to do that.
239
00:13:11,060 --> 00:13:12,650
That don't change nothin'.
240
00:13:13,560 --> 00:13:15,570
Your dad hated me ever
since our first date
241
00:13:15,650 --> 00:13:17,150
when I showed up and said,
242
00:13:17,230 --> 00:13:19,030
"Thank you for making
your daughter so hot."
243
00:13:19,110 --> 00:13:20,110
[ABBY CHUCKLES]
244
00:13:22,110 --> 00:13:23,490
Or it may have been
245
00:13:23,570 --> 00:13:27,160
the, uh, Federal Bikini Inspector
T-shirt that you wore?
246
00:13:27,660 --> 00:13:29,450
That's a play on words, babe.
247
00:13:29,540 --> 00:13:34,420
"Federal Bikini Inspector"
instead of "Federal... B-I."
248
00:13:35,340 --> 00:13:37,840
Shh, don't listen to him.
I'll teach you things.
249
00:13:39,710 --> 00:13:41,130
[ABBY CHUCKLES]
250
00:13:41,220 --> 00:13:43,260
Listen, I've been thinking,
251
00:13:43,340 --> 00:13:45,019
and I know how important it is for you
252
00:13:45,020 --> 00:13:46,960
to be married before the baby comes.
253
00:13:47,850 --> 00:13:49,140
It's important.
254
00:13:51,270 --> 00:13:53,230
But I want you to have the
wedding of your dreams.
255
00:13:55,100 --> 00:13:57,110
Well, how about this?
256
00:13:58,070 --> 00:13:59,230
What if...
257
00:14:00,490 --> 00:14:02,900
we go to the courthouse tomorrow,
you and I, and get married?
258
00:14:02,990 --> 00:14:04,660
[CHUCKLES]
259
00:14:07,740 --> 00:14:08,740
Are you serious?
260
00:14:09,410 --> 00:14:13,580
Yeah, and we... we could still
have our big wedding later.
261
00:14:16,420 --> 00:14:20,210
Yeah, I mean, technically we'd be
married before we had the baby.
262
00:14:22,630 --> 00:14:23,630
Hell, yeah!
[CHUCKLES]
263
00:14:23,680 --> 00:14:25,890
No... That way we both,
we both get what we want.
264
00:14:25,970 --> 00:14:27,510
It's like a Sleep Number bed.
265
00:14:29,640 --> 00:14:31,739
Wait. So, do we invite your parents?
266
00:14:31,740 --> 00:14:33,580
[STUTTERS] No, we'll tell them after.
267
00:14:34,190 --> 00:14:36,650
Listen, I mean, it'll be great.
268
00:14:36,730 --> 00:14:38,626
We could... we could
celebrate with everyone later
269
00:14:38,650 --> 00:14:40,530
and everyone will be happy
'cause it's official.
270
00:14:40,610 --> 00:14:41,690
Fireball!
271
00:14:44,200 --> 00:14:45,700
Tomorrow will just be our thing.
272
00:14:46,910 --> 00:14:48,280
Yeah...
273
00:14:48,370 --> 00:14:50,330
I like our things.
Yeah.
274
00:14:51,410 --> 00:14:54,099
[STUTTERS] This is like when
you do a crossword puzzle
275
00:14:54,100 --> 00:14:55,900
while I am playing Xbox.
276
00:14:56,280 --> 00:14:58,190
Or when you read a book
while I'm playing Xbox.
277
00:14:58,210 --> 00:15:01,090
[CHUCKLE]
Or when you play Xbox,
278
00:15:01,170 --> 00:15:02,526
and I see you did something wrong,
279
00:15:02,550 --> 00:15:04,840
but I don't say nothin' until
it's my turn to play Xbox.
280
00:15:05,550 --> 00:15:07,199
[CHUCKLES] Okay, if you
could have sex with
281
00:15:07,200 --> 00:15:09,220
an Xbox, would you still be with me?
282
00:15:10,140 --> 00:15:12,430
I'm so excited we're getting married.
283
00:15:12,520 --> 00:15:15,770
[LAUGHING] Oh, my God! You're so bad!
[LAUGHING]
284
00:15:23,570 --> 00:15:24,610
Look at these people,
285
00:15:24,690 --> 00:15:27,570
waitin' on an emergency
to stock up on supplies.
286
00:15:27,660 --> 00:15:30,079
[SCOFFS] Well, Beau, not everybody has
287
00:15:30,080 --> 00:15:33,140
three years of beef
jerky in their bunker.
288
00:15:34,370 --> 00:15:37,170
Shh. They'll hear you and come for it.
289
00:15:38,620 --> 00:15:41,540
Hey, if I give you some money, will
you buy me some allergy medicine?
290
00:15:42,130 --> 00:15:43,710
Sure. Why can't you?
291
00:15:44,300 --> 00:15:45,820
Well, last time my daughter was in town,
292
00:15:45,840 --> 00:15:48,119
she used my driver's
license to buy, like,
293
00:15:48,120 --> 00:15:50,460
40 packs of Sudafed to make meth.
294
00:15:52,010 --> 00:15:53,680
I'm on a list.
295
00:15:54,680 --> 00:15:57,770
I got more guns than the
entire country of Canada.
296
00:15:58,350 --> 00:15:59,400
I'm on no list.
297
00:16:01,520 --> 00:16:03,320
God bless America.
298
00:16:04,980 --> 00:16:08,860
Mr. Bennett, your prescription's
ready. That'll be $130.
299
00:16:10,370 --> 00:16:12,030
Good thing I have insurance.
300
00:16:12,620 --> 00:16:13,740
That's after insurance.
301
00:16:14,790 --> 00:16:18,710
Are you kidding? 130 bucks every month?
302
00:16:19,290 --> 00:16:22,340
What's the point of having insurance
if it doesn't pay for anything?
303
00:16:22,920 --> 00:16:24,000
Keep 'em.
304
00:16:24,090 --> 00:16:27,340
Beau, hey, Beau, Dr. Boyd said
you needed that medicine.
305
00:16:27,920 --> 00:16:29,010
Well, of course she did.
306
00:16:29,090 --> 00:16:32,350
She wants to pay for that
DirecTV soccer package.
307
00:16:33,350 --> 00:16:35,100
Everything isn't a conspiracy.
308
00:16:35,180 --> 00:16:36,810
Oh, hell, they're all in this together:
309
00:16:37,390 --> 00:16:39,810
The doctors, the drug companies,
the insurance providers,
310
00:16:40,400 --> 00:16:41,980
the food industry.
311
00:16:42,060 --> 00:16:44,730
"Please take on a full
stomach." Fuck them.
312
00:16:46,230 --> 00:16:49,030
You sound like those guys who
call into the Rush Limbaugh Show.
313
00:16:49,610 --> 00:16:51,360
I've called Rush Limbaugh.
314
00:16:52,490 --> 00:16:54,700
How the hell are you
supposed to pay for this?
315
00:16:54,780 --> 00:16:56,850
They're trying to screw us
'cause they know they can.
316
00:16:56,870 --> 00:17:00,210
I know it isn't fair, but
what're you gonna do?
317
00:17:00,290 --> 00:17:02,830
If one of your kids needed these
pills, wouldn't you buy 'em?
318
00:17:05,460 --> 00:17:06,460
All right, let's go.
319
00:17:08,050 --> 00:17:09,300
Bullshit.
320
00:17:17,890 --> 00:17:19,100
Oh, hey.
What's up?
321
00:17:20,940 --> 00:17:22,600
Do you smell smoke?
[CAR DOOR CLOSING]
322
00:17:22,690 --> 00:17:23,810
Yeah.
323
00:17:23,900 --> 00:17:27,280
News said they're doing a
controlled burn down off the 145.
324
00:17:27,360 --> 00:17:28,840
Don't think it's nothing to worry about.
325
00:17:28,860 --> 00:17:30,990
Yeah, they also said don't
worry about the bird flu,
326
00:17:31,070 --> 00:17:32,739
but I tell you what, I
see a pigeon sneezing,
327
00:17:32,740 --> 00:17:34,740
I'm crossing the fucking street.
328
00:17:36,490 --> 00:17:37,500
Hey,
329
00:17:37,540 --> 00:17:39,020
come down to the courthouse tomorrow?
330
00:17:39,750 --> 00:17:41,870
What's the matter, you
got a female judge?
331
00:17:41,960 --> 00:17:43,760
Want me to come down
there and bang her gavel?
332
00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:46,000
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]
333
00:17:46,090 --> 00:17:47,340
Me and Abby's getting married.
334
00:17:48,630 --> 00:17:50,130
We ain't inviting anyone, but...
335
00:17:51,220 --> 00:17:52,760
I want you to come and stand for us.
336
00:17:53,340 --> 00:17:54,470
Yeah, dude. I'd be honored.
337
00:17:55,510 --> 00:17:57,030
What're you doing bailing
on the wedding, though?
338
00:17:57,050 --> 00:17:58,930
You know, you owe me
a drunken bridesmaid.
339
00:17:59,020 --> 00:18:00,140
[CHUCKLES]
340
00:18:00,220 --> 00:18:03,730
Oh, we're still doing the ceremony.
Just after we have the baby.
341
00:18:04,560 --> 00:18:06,940
Abby wants to get drunk at the wedding.
342
00:18:07,020 --> 00:18:10,360
Plus, the baby can wear one
of those tiny tuxedos.
343
00:18:10,440 --> 00:18:12,840
If you weren't in the wedding,
I'd say he could borrow yours.
344
00:18:14,450 --> 00:18:15,910
[CHUCKLES] Yeah, that's cool.
345
00:18:15,990 --> 00:18:17,096
You know, I'm gonna start
buying your kids cigarettes
346
00:18:17,120 --> 00:18:18,140
when he's like nine, right?
347
00:18:18,160 --> 00:18:19,490
[CHUCKLES]
348
00:18:19,580 --> 00:18:22,210
Hey, do me a favor. Come
help me unload this genny.
349
00:18:22,290 --> 00:18:23,620
Yeah, you fix 'er up?
350
00:18:28,670 --> 00:18:29,670
Where'd you get this?
351
00:18:30,130 --> 00:18:32,470
Oh, from this, uh, new generator
store just opened up.
352
00:18:32,550 --> 00:18:34,880
It's called None of
Your Fucking Business.
353
00:18:35,840 --> 00:18:38,720
That's the same high school your
pretend girlfriend went to.
354
00:18:40,140 --> 00:18:43,430
No, seriously though,
did you steal this?
355
00:18:43,520 --> 00:18:46,520
Oh, dude. Come on, man.
Don't worry about it.
356
00:18:47,020 --> 00:18:49,360
Oh, no. Fuck that, man.
You know the rule.
357
00:18:49,940 --> 00:18:53,280
Anything you fit in your
pocket from 7-Eleven's okay:
358
00:18:54,070 --> 00:18:56,410
Dip, candy, nachos.
359
00:18:57,620 --> 00:19:00,096
Look, man. We're all doing what we
gotta do to keep the ranch going...
360
00:19:00,120 --> 00:19:02,450
No, no! We ain't all
doing shady shit, man.
361
00:19:02,540 --> 00:19:04,750
Oh, really? Where'd you get that check?
362
00:19:05,330 --> 00:19:06,710
Look, you know I can't tell you.
363
00:19:06,790 --> 00:19:08,480
Well, then I can't tell you
where the generator came from.
364
00:19:08,500 --> 00:19:10,040
No, there's a big difference between
365
00:19:10,130 --> 00:19:12,590
taking a loan from somebody
who wants to help out quietly
366
00:19:12,670 --> 00:19:14,260
and stealing a fucking generator.
367
00:19:14,820 --> 00:19:15,820
What's the difference?
368
00:19:15,900 --> 00:19:18,720
Well, one ends with the
phrase "Pick up the phone.
369
00:19:18,800 --> 00:19:21,390
The man wearing lipstick behind
the glass is your Uncle Rooster."
370
00:19:26,140 --> 00:19:28,730
Dude, I'm solving Dad's problem, okay?
371
00:19:28,810 --> 00:19:30,570
If the fire hits us,
which it's not going to,
372
00:19:31,110 --> 00:19:33,420
now we got a generator to run
the pumps, run the sprinklers.
373
00:19:33,440 --> 00:19:34,466
All right, what're you gonna tell Dad?
374
00:19:34,490 --> 00:19:37,110
I don't know. Tell him
the same shit you did.
375
00:19:37,200 --> 00:19:40,240
"Well, I can't tell you, Daddy.
I'm like a mysterious hero.
376
00:19:41,530 --> 00:19:43,660
I like to wear boots
with insoles in 'em.
377
00:19:43,740 --> 00:19:45,410
But when we're both wearing socks,
378
00:19:45,500 --> 00:19:47,670
I'm not much taller than my
handsome brother Rooster."
379
00:19:49,630 --> 00:19:50,990
You'll have to tell Dad something.
380
00:19:51,380 --> 00:19:54,300
It's not your problem, dude.
Now help me unload this thing.
381
00:19:57,720 --> 00:19:59,450
[STRAINS]
382
00:19:59,460 --> 00:20:00,460
Come on.
383
00:20:00,470 --> 00:20:01,866
Come on, can you lift
your side a little higher?
384
00:20:01,890 --> 00:20:04,076
Oh, shit what am I saying? You're
like a foot shorter than me.
385
00:20:04,100 --> 00:20:05,100
[ROOSTER CHUCKLES]
386
00:20:12,270 --> 00:20:16,240
If you see my signed John Wayne
photo there, put it in the box.
387
00:20:17,150 --> 00:20:19,950
If that means there's no room
for some of the boys' artwork,
388
00:20:20,030 --> 00:20:21,320
let it burn.
389
00:20:22,330 --> 00:20:24,540
Almost all the pictures are just Colt.
390
00:20:24,620 --> 00:20:26,750
Once he figured out how
to use the auto-timer,
391
00:20:26,830 --> 00:20:28,330
that's all he did for two years.
392
00:20:30,170 --> 00:20:32,880
And then, when he
discovered the hair dryer,
393
00:20:32,960 --> 00:20:35,210
that's all he did for two years.
394
00:20:37,720 --> 00:20:39,550
Did he frost his tips?
395
00:20:41,760 --> 00:20:43,100
I don't know what that means.
396
00:20:44,310 --> 00:20:45,680
Put it in the box.
397
00:20:45,770 --> 00:20:48,100
What do you think, Beau?
The fire gonna miss us?
398
00:20:48,180 --> 00:20:52,020
I sure hope so. I don't wanna
live '96 all over again.
399
00:20:52,100 --> 00:20:53,480
Did you get hit?
400
00:20:53,560 --> 00:20:55,650
Yeah, we lost a lot of good grass,
401
00:20:56,230 --> 00:20:57,650
but no cattle.
402
00:20:57,740 --> 00:21:01,200
Would've been a lot worse if
not for those firefighters.
403
00:21:01,280 --> 00:21:03,160
Poor Duner Clark's whole place went up.
404
00:21:04,120 --> 00:21:08,410
He finally gave up and
went to New Orleans...
405
00:21:09,080 --> 00:21:11,080
just in time for Katrina.
406
00:21:12,210 --> 00:21:15,500
He ended up dyin' in a tornado in Tulsa.
407
00:21:15,590 --> 00:21:18,380
The man was like a bug
lamp for natural disasters.
408
00:21:20,760 --> 00:21:24,550
Well, we got lucky and it missed
us. We lost our garage in '15.
409
00:21:25,300 --> 00:21:27,180
There was no fire in '15.
410
00:21:27,260 --> 00:21:30,690
After my daughter bought all that
Sudafed, she blew up her meth lab.
411
00:21:32,440 --> 00:21:35,150
Well, things can be
replaced, but people can't.
412
00:21:35,230 --> 00:21:37,860
Yeah.
So... here you go.
413
00:21:37,940 --> 00:21:40,650
What's this?
Those are your pills.
414
00:21:40,670 --> 00:21:42,279
We can do this whole thing
where you get angry,
415
00:21:42,280 --> 00:21:43,440
or you can just take 'em.
416
00:21:44,030 --> 00:21:47,280
I expect my boys to do shit
behind my back, not you.
417
00:21:47,370 --> 00:21:48,660
Angry it is.
418
00:21:49,830 --> 00:21:51,460
Look, I'm not hiding this, Beau.
419
00:21:51,540 --> 00:21:54,330
If I were, I'd crush these up.
I'd put 'em in your coffee,
420
00:21:54,420 --> 00:21:57,090
the same way I do with my
daughter's birth control pills.
421
00:21:58,920 --> 00:22:01,510
That hot mess does not need another kid.
422
00:22:02,800 --> 00:22:04,970
I told you I didn't wanna
waste my money on that stuff.
423
00:22:05,550 --> 00:22:06,600
Well, you didn't. I did.
424
00:22:07,800 --> 00:22:08,896
Back when it was time for your surgery,
425
00:22:08,920 --> 00:22:12,100
I told you I wasn't sticking around
unless you took care of yourself.
426
00:22:12,180 --> 00:22:14,980
And you promised that you
would, so I stuck around.
427
00:22:15,060 --> 00:22:17,060
You've gotta hold up your
end of the bargain, Beau.
428
00:22:18,230 --> 00:22:19,780
I love you, Beau.
429
00:22:19,860 --> 00:22:21,030
Why?
430
00:22:23,740 --> 00:22:28,160
It's the tender way you respond to
a woman opening her heart to you.
431
00:22:29,540 --> 00:22:30,950
Yeah, I'm sorry.
432
00:22:32,370 --> 00:22:33,370
I just...
433
00:22:36,170 --> 00:22:37,380
I love you too, Joanne.
434
00:22:42,210 --> 00:22:43,220
So does that mean...
435
00:22:43,300 --> 00:22:46,220
Crush 'em up and put 'em in my coffee.
436
00:22:50,310 --> 00:22:51,520
[COLT] Rooster!
437
00:22:52,100 --> 00:22:53,930
[SIGHS] God, where the hell is he?
438
00:22:54,020 --> 00:22:55,480
Hold on.
439
00:22:56,400 --> 00:22:58,650
Oh, no! My boob popped out!
440
00:23:01,030 --> 00:23:02,570
Well, he's definitely not here.
441
00:23:03,990 --> 00:23:06,070
Do they ever actually pop out?
442
00:23:07,570 --> 00:23:09,030
No, they don't.
443
00:23:09,120 --> 00:23:11,660
[SMACKS LIPS] They're not you
in boxer shorts. [CHUCKLES]
444
00:23:13,660 --> 00:23:16,620
All right, we'll give him five minutes.
Yeah. [SIGHS]
445
00:23:18,250 --> 00:23:21,800
So... what's in your backpack?
446
00:23:21,880 --> 00:23:23,630
[ABBY CHUCKLES]
447
00:23:23,710 --> 00:23:25,380
Some documents for the courthouse.
448
00:23:26,430 --> 00:23:28,319
What, you mean the one
piece of paper that
449
00:23:28,320 --> 00:23:30,680
we fill out when we get there?
450
00:23:31,350 --> 00:23:33,970
Okay, there's also a
bag of rice in there.
451
00:23:35,310 --> 00:23:38,400
I was gonna throw it at you. [SIGHS]
452
00:23:38,480 --> 00:23:40,480
I mean, not the whole thing at once.
453
00:23:40,560 --> 00:23:43,480
Oh, you don't throw rice
anymore. You throw birdseed,
454
00:23:43,570 --> 00:23:47,280
'cause rice expands. It
makes the birds explode.
455
00:23:47,360 --> 00:23:49,410
[CHUCKLES] Wait.
456
00:23:50,410 --> 00:23:52,240
[STUTTERS] Seriously?
457
00:23:52,830 --> 00:23:54,750
Colt, it's not a good thing.
458
00:23:55,750 --> 00:23:57,540
Come on. What is in the bag?
459
00:23:59,250 --> 00:24:00,896
Well, it might be a little
present in there for you.
460
00:24:00,920 --> 00:24:03,460
Ooh-hoo! That's so sweet!
461
00:24:04,340 --> 00:24:05,340
Okay.
Okay.
462
00:24:05,350 --> 00:24:08,140
All right, I know for a wedding
you're supposed to get something old,
463
00:24:08,220 --> 00:24:10,300
something new, something
borrowed and something blue.
464
00:24:10,720 --> 00:24:14,140
But I mean it is really hard to
find all those things at once.
465
00:24:14,220 --> 00:24:15,759
Well, that's 'cause
they're supposed to be
466
00:24:15,760 --> 00:24:17,640
four different things. So...
467
00:24:18,810 --> 00:24:19,850
Oh.
468
00:24:21,400 --> 00:24:24,900
That's part of the surprise, 'cause
it's all of those things at once.
469
00:24:24,980 --> 00:24:27,440
So, surprise!
Oh. [CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]
470
00:24:27,530 --> 00:24:28,700
Okay.
471
00:24:28,720 --> 00:24:30,759
Oh, those are actually real tissues
472
00:24:30,760 --> 00:24:33,320
in case you tear up at the courthouse.
473
00:24:33,740 --> 00:24:35,370
In case I tear up?
474
00:24:35,450 --> 00:24:36,600
Well, the point is they're tissues.
475
00:24:36,620 --> 00:24:37,620
Just open it!
Okay.
476
00:24:40,460 --> 00:24:44,420
Oh, my God! It's a John Elway jersey!
[LAUGHING] Yeah.
477
00:24:44,500 --> 00:24:47,760
But it's game worn, so it's old.
Oh. [CHUCKLES]
478
00:24:47,840 --> 00:24:49,010
But it's new to you.
479
00:24:49,090 --> 00:24:52,090
And it's blue, and I
bought it with money
480
00:24:52,180 --> 00:24:53,760
I borrowed, so...
[CHUCKLES]
481
00:24:54,390 --> 00:24:57,310
Oh, thank you, Colt. This is amazing.
Okay.
482
00:24:57,390 --> 00:24:58,930
Now, if you don't like it,
483
00:24:59,020 --> 00:25:01,480
I know someone who'll take it
off your hands and treasure it.
484
00:25:03,770 --> 00:25:06,480
You're regretting giving it
to me already, aren't you?
485
00:25:07,070 --> 00:25:08,530
This might be my biggest sacrifice.
486
00:25:08,610 --> 00:25:09,610
[CHUCKLES]
487
00:25:10,650 --> 00:25:11,820
I'm glad you like it.
488
00:25:15,030 --> 00:25:16,830
I got you something too.
489
00:25:17,330 --> 00:25:19,620
Well, you better have.
[CHUCKLES]
490
00:25:22,290 --> 00:25:24,460
Uh... [CHUCKLES]
491
00:25:25,960 --> 00:25:27,170
That was my...
492
00:25:27,760 --> 00:25:29,720
grandfather's favorite bolo tie.
493
00:25:32,260 --> 00:25:33,470
[CHUCKLES]
494
00:25:34,350 --> 00:25:35,390
I love it.
495
00:25:35,470 --> 00:25:38,390
[CHUCKLES] Yeah, he gave it
to me right before he died,
496
00:25:39,140 --> 00:25:41,980
And said that he hoped
that I would meet a man
497
00:25:42,060 --> 00:25:43,690
worthy enough to wear it.
498
00:25:44,480 --> 00:25:46,170
And since I never did,
I'm giving it to you.
499
00:25:46,190 --> 00:25:47,230
[COLT CHUCKLES]
500
00:25:47,320 --> 00:25:48,730
[LAUGHS]
501
00:25:49,650 --> 00:25:50,740
Oh,
502
00:25:50,820 --> 00:25:52,910
I can't imagine my life without you.
503
00:25:53,490 --> 00:25:55,780
And I'm so glad that I don't have to.
504
00:25:56,700 --> 00:26:00,870
I guess what I'm saying is, is that
you can inspect my bikini any time.
505
00:26:02,500 --> 00:26:03,870
I love you so much.
506
00:26:05,750 --> 00:26:07,800
I knew these would come in handy.
[CHUCKLES]
507
00:26:08,880 --> 00:26:11,090
Hey. Wind shifted.
What?
508
00:26:11,170 --> 00:26:13,210
Fire's coming right at us.
We gotta get out of here.
509
00:26:13,430 --> 00:26:14,720
Let's go.
Really?
510
00:26:23,730 --> 00:26:25,730
All right, get those Rain Birds all set.
511
00:26:25,810 --> 00:26:28,150
I got some of your old artwork.
Oh.
512
00:26:28,230 --> 00:26:30,440
Good. My dad's sentimental
about that stuff.
513
00:26:30,530 --> 00:26:33,030
Oh, uh, I grabbed my Xbox.
Good.
514
00:26:33,610 --> 00:26:36,450
How much more is there?
That's pretty much the last of it.
515
00:26:36,530 --> 00:26:37,620
We just gotta get the guns.
516
00:26:37,700 --> 00:26:41,330
You see that fire? It is time
to get the fuck out of here.
517
00:26:41,910 --> 00:26:43,830
Okay.
Fire everywhere.
518
00:26:43,910 --> 00:26:45,750
Ash falling from the sky.
519
00:26:46,330 --> 00:26:50,920
It's like Backdraft. Remember
that movie? It still holds up.
520
00:26:53,050 --> 00:26:54,050
Go!
521
00:26:54,680 --> 00:26:55,760
I gotta go help my parents.
522
00:26:56,340 --> 00:26:57,826
Are you sure you don't
want me to come with you?
523
00:26:57,850 --> 00:26:59,850
No, I'm fine. Their place
is away from the fire.
524
00:26:59,930 --> 00:27:01,660
You finish up here. I'll
meet you at the high school.
525
00:27:01,680 --> 00:27:03,980
Text me as soon as the
Elway jersey's safe.
526
00:27:04,060 --> 00:27:05,480
And me?
527
00:27:06,480 --> 00:27:08,860
Yeah, of course, you.
That goes without saying.
528
00:27:08,940 --> 00:27:11,230
Well, it shouldn't. Love you.
529
00:27:12,070 --> 00:27:13,070
See you.
530
00:27:13,940 --> 00:27:16,030
Be careful, Abby.
You, too.
531
00:27:16,610 --> 00:27:20,700
Hey, Dad, did you by chance pack
up any of my hair products?
532
00:27:21,290 --> 00:27:24,540
Of course I did. It's the first
fucking thing I grabbed.
533
00:27:29,130 --> 00:27:31,090
Hey, I grabbed the basement guns.
Oh.
534
00:27:31,170 --> 00:27:32,340
Did you get the bathroom gun?
535
00:27:32,920 --> 00:27:34,736
Dude, we moved it, remember?
Now it's the kitchen gun.
536
00:27:34,760 --> 00:27:35,760
Oh, right.
537
00:27:41,890 --> 00:27:43,680
Hey, don't forget the bullets.
538
00:27:43,770 --> 00:27:46,230
Shit. That's good thinking.
539
00:27:46,310 --> 00:27:47,310
All right.
540
00:27:49,100 --> 00:27:50,810
Okay.
All right, let's roll.
541
00:27:54,690 --> 00:27:56,110
Hey. Hey, Dad.
542
00:27:56,940 --> 00:27:58,280
We look kinda badass right now.
543
00:27:58,300 --> 00:28:00,340
Would you mind taking
a picture real quick?
544
00:28:02,870 --> 00:28:04,500
Get in the goddamn truck.
545
00:28:06,410 --> 00:28:09,080
Where's Drake? Drake!
546
00:28:09,170 --> 00:28:10,290
[WHISTLES]
547
00:28:11,670 --> 00:28:14,050
Hey, get up there. Attaboy.
548
00:28:20,080 --> 00:28:21,080
Whoa.
549
00:28:21,090 --> 00:28:22,930
Dad, where you going?
550
00:28:23,510 --> 00:28:27,280
I wanna make sure the gas is turned off.
I double-checked. It's off.
551
00:28:27,680 --> 00:28:29,350
Maybe we forgot something else.
552
00:28:29,440 --> 00:28:30,940
Dad, we gotta go.
553
00:28:31,020 --> 00:28:33,020
I'll meet you at the school.
554
00:28:36,380 --> 00:28:38,549
[COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYING]
555
00:28:38,550 --> 00:28:42,640
- Synced & corrected by MementMori -
-- www.addic7ed.com --
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