All language subtitles for State.Fair.1962.1080p.BluRay.H264.AAC-RARBG

[ Engine Approaching ]

[ Engine Roaring ]

WAYNE, BE CAREFUL!
SLOW DOWN.

[ Revs ]

HOW DO YOU LIKE
THE SOUND OF THAT ENGINE?
I HATE IT.

WHY, BETTY JEAN, THAT'S
THE MOST BEAUTIFUL NOISE
I EVER HEARD IN MY LIFE.

I NEVER WANT
TO HEAR IT AGAIN.
[ Engine Stops ]

NOW, BETTY JEAN, YOU KNOW
I'VE WORKED ON THIS CAR.

I'VE BUILT IT FROM
THE GROUND UP, PIECE
BY PIECE, WITH MY OWN HANDS.

WAYNE FRAKE, I BELIEVE
YOU LOVE THAT CAR FIVE TIMES
AS MUCH AS YOU LOVE ME!

NOW, HONEY, YOU KNOW
THAT'S NOT TRUE.

IT'S JUST THAT, WELL,
THIS YEAR ALL THAT
HARD WORK'S GONNA PAY OFF.

I'M GONNA WIN THAT RACE.
FORGET THE RACE.

BETTY JEAN,
THIS IS THE GOLD CUP--
THE OFFICIAL GOLD CUP.

WHAT'S SO GOOD ABOUT
AN OFFICIAL WAY TO GET KILLED?

NOW YOU'RE BEING DRAMATIC.
I'M BEIN' PRACTICAL!

WE'RE GONNA BE MARRIED.
OKAY. WHERE'S
THE PRACTICAL COME IN?

THE HONEYMOON IS NO FUN
IF THE BRIDEGROOM'S DEAD.
THAT'S WHERE IT COMES IN.

BETTY JE--
OH, GO ON.
GET YOUR OLD CUP!

IT'S NOT THE CUP.
IT'S RED HOERTER.

YOU SAW WHAT HE DID
TO ME LAST YEAR.
I CERTAINLY DID.

I HAD HIM BEAT TILL THE LAST
LAP. HE SLIPPED THAT WHEEL UNDER
ME AND BUMPED ME OFF THE TRACK.

AND HE'LL DO IT TO YOU
AGAIN THIS YEAR.
OH, NO, HE WON'T.

WELL, I'M NOT GONNA BE THERE
TO WATCH IT HAPPEN.

YOU'LL BE SORRY
WHEN I COME BACK
WITH THAT CUP.

PLEASE, COME BACK ALIVE.

[ Chorus ]
?? OUR STATE FAIR
IS A GREAT STATE FAIR ??

?? DON'T MISS IT
DON'T EVEN BE LATE ??

?? IT'S DOLLARS TO DOUGHNUTS
THAT OUR STATE FAIR ??

?? IS THE BEST STATE FAIR
IN OUR STATE ??

?? OUR STATE FAIR
IS A GREAT STATE FAIR ??

?? DON'T MISS IT
DON'T EVEN BE LATE
BUM, BUM, BUM ??

?? IT'S DOLLARS TO DOUGHNUTS
THAT OUR STATE FAIR ??

?? IS THE BEST STATE FAI
R IN OUR STATE ??

?? OUR STATE FAIR
IS A GREAT STATE FAIR ??

?? DON'T MISS IT
DON'T EVEN BE LATE ??

?? IT'S DOLLARS TO DOUGHNUTS
THAT OUR STATE FAIR ??

?? IS THE BEST STATE FAIR
IN OUR STATE ??

?? OUR STATE FAIR
IS A GREAT STATE FAIR ??

?? DON'T MISS IT
DON'T EVEN BE LATE ??

?? IT'S DOLLARS TO DOUGHNUTS
THAT OUR STATE FAIR ??

?? IS THE BEST STATE FAIR
IN OUR STATE ??

[ Chorus ]
?? OUR STATE FAIR
IS A GREAT STATE FAIR ??

?? DON'T MISS IT
DON'T EVEN BE LATE ??

?? IT'S DOLLARS TO DOUGHNUTS
THAT OUR STATE FAIR ??

?? IS THE BEST STATE FAIR
IN OUR STATE ????

[ Engine Roaring ]
CUT THAT OUT, WAYNE!

TWENTY-TWO YEARS
OF LOVE AND CARE,
AND WHAT DO WE RAISE?

A PISTON FARMER.

IF HE KEEPS THAT UP,
HE'LL RUIN BLUEBOY'S DIGESTION.

IT'S ALL RIGHT, BABY.

EAT YOUR BREAKFAST.

YOU KNOW SOMETHING, SIME?
YES, SIR.

BLUEBOY HAS GOT THE ONE THING
A CHAMPION HAS GOT TO HAVE.

I KNOW. PRIDE.
NO, SIR.

WELL, THAT'S WHAT
YOU SAID LAST NIGHT.
WELL, I WAS WRONG.

PRIDE AIN'T ENOUGH.
ARROGANCE.

HE'S GONNA GO TO THAT
STATE FAIR AND STAND THERE
LIKE GENGHIS KHAN...

AND NOT ONLY THINK
HE'S GENGHIS KHAN--

HE'S GONNA KNOW
HE'S GENGHIS KHAN.

HE'LL WIN THAT PRIZE
SO EASY THERE'LL BE
A SENATE INVESTIGATION.

WELL, THEY'RE INVESTIGATIN'
EVERYTHING ELSE.

- WAYNE!
- YEAH, DAD?

TELL YOUR MOTHER TO CALL THE VET
AND GIVE HIM WHAT FOR.
HE SHOULD'VE BEEN HERE BY NOW.

HEY, MOM. DAD WANTS YOU
TO CALL DR.--
I KNOW. I HEARD HIM.

DOC CRAMER WILL BE HERE
WHEN HE GETS HERE.

FIX A LABEL FOR THIS JAR,
WILL YOU, HONEY?
MMM.

UM, YOU WANT YOUR NAME
MRS. MELISSA FRAKE
OR MRS. ABEL FRAKE?

OH, MELISSA FRAKE, I THINK.
ABEL'S ENTERED BLUEBOY,

AND THE JUDGES ARE LIABLE
TO GET HIM MIXED UP
WITH MY MINCEMEAT.

DAD SURE IS SET
ON WINNING THAT RIBBON.
RIBBON, MY EYE.

HE WON'T REALLY BE HAPPY
UNTIL THAT HOG SHOWS UP
INWHO'S WHO.

GOT ENOUGH STRAW IN THERE?

SIX INCHES OF IT,
AND IT'S FRESH!

THAT OUGHT TO BE SOFT ENOUGH
WITH THIS SPREAD.

PUT IT ON TOP.

ABEL, YOU SURE
MIZ FRAKE WON'T MIND?
IT'S GOT HER INITIAL ON IT.

SPREAD IT OVER THE STRAW.

ALL RIGHT. YOU'RE THE BOSS.
BUT IF I WAS A WOMAN,

I WOULDN'T WANT NO HOG
RIDING AROUND ON MY INITIAL.

BETTER GIVE THAT SISTER
OF YOURS A NUDGE.

HEY, MARGE!

HEY, CANDY-EYES!

NO ANSWER, MOM.
WHERE IS THAT GIRL?

MARGY!

MARGY!
YES, MOTHER?

- ARE YOU FINISHED PACKING?
- ALMOST.

ALMOST? WHAT'S GOT
INTO YOU LATELY?

ALL YOU DO IS SIT AROUND
AND MOPE. NOW, HURRY.

WHATHASGOT
INTO ME ANYWAY?

?? THE THINGS I USED TO LIKE ??

?? I DON'T LIKE ANYMORE ??

?? I WANT A LOT
OF OTHER THINGS ??

?? I'VE NEVER HAD BEFORE ??

?? IT'S JUST LIKE MOTHER SAYS ??

?? I SIT AROUND AND MOPE ??

?? PRETENDING I AM WONDERFUL ??

?? AND KNOWING I'M A DOPE ??

?? I'M AS RESTLESS
AS A WILLOW ??

?? IN A WINDSTORM ??

?? I'M AS JUMPY
AS A PUPPET ??

?? ON A STRING ??

?? I'D SAY THAT I HAD
SPRING FEVER ??

?? BUT I KNOW
IT ISN'T SPRING ??

?
?? I AM STARRY-EYED
AND VAGUELY DISCONTENTED ?

?? LIKE A NIGHTINGALE
WITHOUT A SONG TO SING ??

?? OH, WHY SHOULD I HAVE
SPRING FEVER ??

?? WHEN IT ISN'T EVEN SPRING ??

?? I KEEP WISHING ??

?? I WAS SOMEWHERE ELSE ??

?? WALKING DOWN
A STRANGE NEW STREET ??

?? HEARING WORDS ??

?
?? THAT I HAVE NEVER HEARD ?

?? FROM A BOY I'VE YET ??

?? TO MEET ??

?? I'M AS BUSY AS A SPIDER ??

?? SPINNING DAYDREAMS ??

?? I'M AS GIDDY AS A BABY ??

?? ON A SWING ??

?? I HAVEN'T SEEN A CROCUS ??

?? OR A ROSEBUD ??

?? OR A ROBIN ??

?? ON THE WING ??

?? BUT I FEEL SO GAY ??

?? IN A MELANCHOLY WAY ??

?? THAT IT MIGHT AS WELL ??

?? BE SPRING ??

?? IT MIGHT AS ??

?? WELL BE ??

?? SPRING ????

[ Vehicle Approaching ]

[ Honking ]

HEY, MARGY! HEY, MARGY!

HEY, MARGY. I'VE GOT
SOME GREAT NEWS, HONEY.
WHAT?

I'M NOT GONNA BE ABLE
TO GO TO THE FAIR.

THERE'S THIS ALMOST-NEW
CREAM SEPARATOR
I GOT A LEAD ON,

AND I MIGHT GET IT
ON A TRIAL OFFER FOR 89.50.

NOW, WHAT DO YOU SAY TO THAT?
ALL I CAN THINK OF
IS "HOORAY!"

HONEY, I'M DOING IT
FOR US.

BE PRACTICAL, MARGY.

TIMES LIKE THESE,
A MAN'S GOTTA COUNT PENNIES.
UH-HUH.

AND I'VE HEARD THIS YEAR
THEY'VE RAISED PRICES
ON EVERYTHING AT THE FAIR.

I KNOW.
EVEN THE FERRIS WHEEL.
THAT'S RIGHT.

WHY, THEY'RE ASKING
25 CENTS FOR A RIDE.

A MAN'S GOTTA BE CRAZY
TO SQUANDER MONEY LIKE THAT.

HAVE A LITTLE FUN, AND--
[ Clicks Tongue ]
IT'S GONE.

I GUESS THAT'S
THE TROUBLE WITH FUN.

[ Clicks Tongue ]
IT'S GONE.
RIGHT.

NOW, YOU TAKE THIS DARN SCOOTER.
DID I BUY IT FOR FUN?

NO, MA'AM. I BOUGHT IT
BECAUSE IT'S SUPPOSED TO GIVE ME
40 MILES TO THE GALLON.

ONLY IT DOESN'T.
38.3-- NOT A SCRAP MORE.

HARRY, LET'S NOT
START WALLOWING AROUND
IN DECIMAL POINTS AGAIN.

YOU'RE NOT GOING
TO THE FAIR,
AND THAT'S THAT.

RIGHT. WELL,
I BETTER BE GOIN'.

YOU HAVE YOURSELF
A HIGH OLD TIME
AT THE FAIR, YOU HEAR?

COME ON BACK HOME
WITH A BUNDLE OF KISSES
FOR OLD HARRY.

I'VE SAVED
A SACKFUL ALREADY.

[ Blueboy Grunting ]

[ Panting ]

LIKE IT, BABY?
NOTHING BUT THE BEST
FOR YOU!

WHAT KEPT YOU, MARGE?
YOUR FATHER WANTS
TO LEAVE BY NOON.

I WAS JUST
TALKING TO HARRY.

DO YOU SUPPOSE SHE'S IN LOVE
WITH THAT BREAD-HEAD?
MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS.

MOM, YOU'RE A GIRL.
OH, THANK YOU.

NOW, TELL ME HONESTLY.
DO YOU FIND THAT HARRY
EXCITING?

I CERTAINLY DO.

I THINK HARRY'S
ABOUT AS EXCITING
AS WATCHING GRASS GROW.

READY, MELISSA?
RIGHT ON SCHEDULE!

WELL?

FLAT.
IT'S THE VERY BEST
I EVER MADE.

YOU LEFT SOMETHING OUT.
I'M NOT GONNA LOAD
MY MINCEMEAT WITH BRANDY.

IF YOU'RE GONNA
LEAVE SOMETHING OUT,
LEAVE OUT THE MINCEMEAT.

IT'S GOT NO BACKBONE.

HONESTLY, MELISSA!
CAN'T YOU SLIP IN
A LITTLE VERTEBRAE?

I'M NOT GOING TO ADVERTISE
THE DRUNKEN PREFERENCES
OF THIS FAMILY...

ALL OVER THE STATE OF TEXAS.

SUIT YOURSELF.
HUMPH.

HEY. YOU'D BETTER START A FIRE
UNDER THAT DAUGHTER OF YOURS IF
WE EVER WANT TO GET OUT OF HERE.

"MY KIDS" WHEN
THEY'RE LATE-- "YOUR KIDS"
WHEN THEY'RE ON TIME.

I'LL THROW THESE ABOARD
AND GET HOOKED UP.
YEAH.

THROW THOSE ABOARD
AND GET HOOKED UP.

[ Door Opens, Closes ]

[ Melissa ]
COME ON, MARGE.
[ Door Closes ]

[ Thuds ]

HURRY UP, MELISSA.

???? [ Whistling ]

[ Door Opens, Closes ]

???? [ Whistling Continues ]

???? [ Whistling Continues ]

COME ON, MARGE.

LET'S GO, HONEY.

HOWDY, ABEL.
HERE'S YOUR HOG PILLS.

WELL, YOU SURE TOOK YOUR TIME
GETTIN' HERE, DOC,

CONSIDERING BLUEBOY'S
YOUR PRIZE PATIENT.

ABEL FRAKE,
WHAT IS THAT HOG DOING
ON MY SPECIAL BEDSPREAD?

SAY, THAT'S A SPECIAL HOG.

I DON'T LIKE HOGS.

MAYBE HOGS DON'T
LIKE YOU EITHER.
BUT YOU DON'T HEAR BLUEBOY--

[ Grunts ]
AND, YES, YOU DO
HEAR BLUEBOY.

MAYBE BLUEBOY ISN'T
PARTICULAR, BUT I AM.

YOU'D BETTER TAKE THIS,
MELISSA. ABEL'S GOT
AN UNCANNY KNACK...

TO ALWAYS LOSIN' MY BILLS.

TWELVE DOLLARS?
FOR THAT BIG SACK OF FAT?

IT'S THOSE NEW MIRACLE DRUGS.
TO CALM HIM DOWN
IN CASE HE GETS SHOOK UP.

OH, SURE.

A HOG'S PSYCHOLOGY
IS IMPORTANT, MELISSA.

NATURALLY. THE WHOLE FAMILY
MAY END UP IN RAGS,

BUT WE CAN'T AFFORD
TO HAVE A TRAUMATIC PIG.

BLUEBOY'S GONNA
MAKE YOU FAMOUS, DOC.

PERSONAL PHYSICIAN
TO THE GRAND CHAMPION.

DON'T COUNT ON IT, ABEL.
A LITTLE TROUBLE'S A GOOD
THING TO BANK ON, YOU KNOW?

HONESTLY, DOC.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS
HAVE TO BE A WET BLANKET?

EVEN IF BLUEBOY WINS,
SOMETHING ELSE'LL
PROBABLY HAPPEN.

WHAT, FOR INSTANCE?

HE MIGHT CATCH
THE PNEUMONIA, HOG CHOLERA,

OR YOU MIGHT EVEN CATCH
THE PNEUMONIA.

YOU LEFT OUT
HURRICANES AND FLOODS.

- OR SOMETHING MIGHT HAPPEN
TO WAYNE OR MARGY.
- OH, FOR HEAVEN SAKES.

COME ON, BEFORE DOC DECIDES
TO PUT AN END TO THE WORLD
RIGHT THIS MINUTE.

BE WILLIN' TO BET ON IT.
OKAY, DOC.

FIVE DOLLARS SAYS
WE GO TO THE FAIR,
BLUEBOY WINS...

AND NOTHING BAD HAPPENS
TO WAYNE OR MARGY
OR ANY OF THE REST OF US.

DEAL?
YOU'VE GOT A DEAL, ABEL.

MARK MY WORDS NOW.
SOMETHING'LL GO WRONG.

?? OUR STATE FAIR
IS A GREAT STATE FAIR ??

?? DON'T MISS IT
DON'T EVEN BE LATE ??

?? IT'S DOLLARS TO DOUGHNUTS
THAT OUR STATE FAIR ??

?? IS THE BEST STATE FAIR
IN OUR STATE ??

???? [ Snorts Rhythmically ]

WAKE UP!
WAKE UP, EVERYBODY!

THERE'S DALLAS.

?? OUR STATE FAIR
IS A GREAT STATE FAIR ??

?? DON'T MISS IT
DON'T EVEN BE LATE ??

?? IT'S DOLLARS TO DOUGHNUTS
THAT-- ??
NO, NOT "DOLLARS." "DALLAS."

[ Together ]
DALLAS?
YES, DALLAS.

?? IT'S DALLAS TO DOUGHNUTS
THAT OUR STATE FAIR ??

?? IS THE BEST STATE FAIR
STATE ????

I THINK THIS IS
THE SAME TRAILER
WE HAD LAST YEAR.

I'M SURE IT IS.
THE SHOWER STILL LEAKS.

[ Chuckles ]
WAYNE, COME BACK HERE
AND EAT YOUR BREAKFAST.

JUST A MINUTE, MOM.

[ Abel ] I BETTER NOT
TAKE TIME FOR BREAKFAST.
BUT IT'S ALL READY.

I'LL GET SOME COFFEE
DOWN AT THE SWINE PAVILION.

HONESTLY. YOU'D RATHER
BE WITH THAT HOG THAN EAT.

HEY, HE'S GOT TO BE CURRIED.
AND MANICURED
AND MOLLYCODDLED.

ALL RIGHT. YOU GO AHEAD.
I'LL SEE YOU DOWN THERE.

YOU KNOW SOMETHING?
YOU'RE A VERY NICE WOMAN.

I KNOW, I KNOW.
AND NEXT TO BLUEBOY,
YOU LOVE ME THE MOST.

HOW CAN YOU TELL?
[ Chuckles ]
GOOD-BYE NOW.

COME ON, MARGY.
LET'S GO, WAYNE.
THESE EGGS ARE GETTING COLD.

HAVE TO SKIP IT, MOM.
GOT TO GET OVER TO THE TRACK.

WAYNE!

[ Revving ]

THIS IS ALL I WANT.
IT ISNOTALL.

NOW, YOU COME BACK HERE
AND EAT YOUR BREAKFAST.

PLEASE, MOM. I'M NOT HUNGRY.
I WANT TO GET TO THE FAIR
BEFORE IT GETS TOO CROWDED.

YOU CAN'T RUN AROUND ALL DAY
ON AN EMPTY STOMACH.

PLEASE, MOM?
ALL RIGHT. GO AHEAD.

BUT BE CAREFUL NOW.
I WILL!

AND YOU KNOW
WHAT I MEAN BY THAT.

[ Man On P.A. ]
HOWDY, FOLKS.

THIS IS BIG TEX.

WE ALL ARE HAPPY
TO HAVE YOU ALL WITH US.

IT'S THE GREATEST STATE FAIR
IN THE WORLD.

???? [ Calliope ]
[ Barkers Chattering ]

[ People Shouting, Screaming ]

[ Screaming ]

ALL RIGHT NOW. HERE WE GO.
FOR A YEAR'S SUPPLY
OF SUNBURST SHAMPOO,

SEE IF YOU CAN COMPLETE
THE NEXT LINE OF THIS SONG.

?? HOME, HOME ON THE RANGE ??

?? WHERE THE DEER
AND THE ANTELOPE-- ??
[ Giggles ]

YES, WELL, WHAT DO THE DEER
AND THE ANTELOPE DO?

OH!
THAT'S IT. NOW--

?? WHERE THE DEER
AND THE ANTELOPE-- ??
SING.

ALMOST, BY GOLLY.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH,
AND DO COME BACK AGAIN.

BETTER LUCK NEXT TIME.
WELL, LET US TRY A, UH--

WELL, LET'S TRY THAT OLD COWPOKE
RIGHT DOWN HERE. THAT'S RIGHT.

YOU IN THE YELLOW DRESS,
YOUNG LADY.

RIGHT THIS WAY, MA'AM.

WELL, WELL.
WE HAVE SOMETHING
MIGHTY PRETTY HERE.

IN A LITTLE CLOSER, FELLAS.
DO YOU MIND IF WE TAKE
A CLOSE-UP OF YOU, DEAR?

IT'S PART OF MY PLAN
TO BEAUTIFY THE LIVING ROOMS
ALL OVER TEXAS.

[ Chuckles ]
YES, SIR. I MEAN,
THANK YOU, SIR.

OH, CUT OUT THAT SIR BUSINESS.
JUST CALL ME JERRY.

JERRY.
SURE. GOOD.

SAY, WHERE DO YOU COME FROM?
BET YOU'RE HOMEGROWN.

BANNING.
BANNING?

I GUESS NOT TOO MANY FOLKS
HAVE HEARD OF IT.

WHY, EVERYBODY KNOWS OF BANNING.
IT'S RIGHT NEXT TO
SOUTH BANNING, ISN'T IT?

[ Chuckles ]
UH, WELL, WE'RE
A LITTLE SHORT OF TIME.

LET'S SEE IF YOU CAN
FINISH THE SECOND LINE
OF THIS FAMOUS FRENCH SONG.

?? O SOLO MIO ??

[ Laughs ]
THAT'S NOT FRENCH.
NO. NO, IT'S NOT.

BUT IT'S ALL ABOUT LOVE,
AND A YOUNG THING LIKE YOU...

SHOULD KNOW
SOMETHING ABOUT LOVE.

WELL, IT'S TIME
TO WRAP IT UP, FOLKS.
WE'LL SEE YOU A LITTLE LATER.

TEDDY, TAKE IT OVER FOR A WHILE.
SELL SOMETHING, WILL YA?
COME RIGHT THIS WAY.

THANKS, JERRY. AND NOW,
LADIES, I HAVE A CLUE
ABOUT SONGS FOR YOU.

NOW, UH, I'M GONNA NEED
YOUR NAME AND ADDRESS.
OH?

IT'S FOR A CONSOLATION PRIZE.
I HAVE TO HAVE SOMEPLACE
TO SEND IT.

YOU MEAN THERE'S
A CONSOLATION PRIZE?

WELL, SURE.
PLAY YOUR CARDS RIGHT,
IT MIGHT BE ME.

MARGY FRAKE.

THAT'S BANNING, TEXAS,

ROUTE 3.

THIRTY-SIX, 24, 36.

I WEAR A SIZE 10 DRESS,
IF THAT'S WHAT YOU MEAN.

i��AY, CARAMBA!OH, THAT MEANS
"GOOD MORNING" DOWN IN MEXICO.

I GUESS IN THIS BUSINESS
YOU MUST TRAVEL A GOOD DEAL.

OH, WELL, I DO A LOT
OF NETWORK STUFF, YOU KNOW--

PARIS, LONDON--
MAYBE YOU CAUGHT THE WAR
I COVERED IN ALGERIA.

WELL, I CERTAINLY
READ ABOUT IT.

OH, WELL, READING ABOUT IT
IS ONE THING, BUT BEING THERE--
[ Kisses ]C'EST LA VIE.

AFTER WARS AND ALL,
A STATE FAIR'S
RATHER TAME STUFF.

DON'T GO KNOCKIN' THE
HAYSHAKERS. YOUR STATE FAIR'S
THE BIGGEST IN THE WHOLE WORLD.

OTHERWISE THEY WOULDN'T HAVE,
UH, SENT ME ALL THE WAY
FROM ROME TO COVER IT.

ROME, ITALY?
YEAH, THAT'S THE ONE.

IS HE MOVIN' IN AGAIN?
YEAH.

A LITTLE YOUNG,
ISN'T SHE?
IF SHE BELIEVES HIM, SHE IS.

WELL, LOOK, I'M DUE
TO WRAP UP ABOUT 8:00.

IF YOU'RE STILL AROUND,
WE COULD GRAB A BOTTLE, CUT UP
A STEAK AND HAVE A FEW LAUGHS.

OH, I REALLY DON'T THINK SO.
I'M GONNA BE TERRIBLY BUSY.
OH.

I HAVE A DATE.
FIGURES.
YOU BOOKED SOLID?

BEG YOUR PARDON?
I MEAN, WHAT'S
PLAYING TOMORROW?

WELL, TOMORROW,
MOTHER'S IN MINCEMEAT.
OH, YOU DON'T WANT TO BLOW THAT.

WELL, IN CASE
YOU CHANGE YOUR MIND,
JUST CHECK THE TUBE.

BIG DADDY'S NEVER
TOO FAR AWAY. SEE YA.

ON THE HOME TURN,
CAR NUMBER SIX,

DRIVER, WAYNE FRAKE.

[ Revving ]

CAR NUMBER SIX, WAYNE FRAKE,
DRIVING A MODIFIED ENGINE
WITH A LOCKED REAR END--

TIME, 26:07.

THE THREE FASTEST QUALIFIERS
IN THE TIME TRIALS--

ECKHARDT, HOERTER AND FRAKE.

PLEASE COME TO THE JUDGE'S STAND
FOR PUBLICITY PICTURES.

ECKHARDT, HOERTER AND FRAKE,
REPORT TO THE JUDGE'S STAND.

YOU KNOW, IT'S AMAZING
WHAT YOU FARM BOYS ARE DOING
WITH ERECTOR SETS THESE DAYS.

IT'S ENOUGH CAR TO RUN YOU
INTO THE GROUND, RED.

LIKE LAST YEAR?
YOU TAUGHT ME A LESSON.

WHY DON'T YOU GO AROUND
AND LOOK AT THE FRONT END?

YOU'LL SEE ENOUGH
OF THE REAR END IN THE FINALS.

HI, MAL.

ALL RIGHT, FELLAS.
WE CAN'T SELL ANY PAPERS
WITH YOUR KISSERS.

ON DECK, HONEY.

HI, FELLAS.
[ Together ]
HI.

HONEY, OVER HERE.
READY, FELLAS?

ALL RIGHT.
LET'S ZERO IN.

FINE. NEXT!
CONGRATULATIONS.

NOW, LISTEN.
REALLY LEAN INTO THIS ONE.
OKAY.

DON'T TREAT HIM LIKE
A RUNNER-UP. MAKE HIM FEEL
LIKE A WINNER. OKAY, BOYS?

HEY!
OKAY. NEXT.

RIGHT. HERE WE GO.
UH, WE GOTTA MIX 'EM UP.

NO KISSIN' THIS TIME.
HAND HIM THE FLOWERS.

THESE ARE FOR YOU.

GOOD. FINE.
THANKS A LOT, HONEY.
BYE-BYE.

LET'S GO, FELLAS.

MISS! YOU MAY AS WELL
TAKE THESE BACK.
I DON'T NEED 'EM.

I'M SORRY
IT HAD TO BE FLOWERS.

OH. [ Chuckles ]
WELL, EVEN IF IT HAD
BEEN THE OTHER,

I GUESS I'D WANT
TO GIVE THAT BACK TOO.

WELL, THAT SOUNDS LIKE
A COMPLIMENT.

NO! IT'S JUST THAT,
WELL, YOU'RE--

YOU'RE PLAIN OLD
APPLE-ORCHARD PRETTY.

NOW, HAVEN'T YOU EVER SEEN
A GIRL IN SHORTS BEFORE?

SURE!

BUT YOU ARE THE FIRST ONE
I EVER SAW THAT,

WELL, LOOKED SO, UH,
SORT OF CUSTOM-BUILT.

[ Laughs ]
YOU FARM BOYS KILL ME.

YOU DON'T MAKE A PITCH.
YOU JUST SHY YOUR WAY
INTO POSITION.

HEY, HOW'D YOU KNOW
I CAME FROM A FARM?

DIDN'T YOU MENTION IT?
I DON'T THINK SO.

I GUESS YOU WERE
NEVER ON A FARM.

CLOSEST I EVER GOT TO ONE
WAS MORRISTOWN, NEW JERSEY.

WE HAD A WINDOW BOX
IN THE KITCHEN.

HOW'S IT FEEL
TO BE A FARMER?

NEVER STOPPED TO THINK.
GOOD, I GUESS. AT LEAST
I'VE NEVER FELT BAD.

YOU KNOW SOMETHING?
IF I THOUGHT
THAT IT'D WORK FOR ME,

I'D GO OUT RIGHT NOW
AND BUY A PLOW.

WHY'D YOU DECIDE
TO BE A FARMER?

I DON'T THINK YOU DECIDE.

ONE DAY, YOU'RE A LITTLE BOY
OUT FEEDING CHICKENS.

NEXT THING YOU KNOW,
YOU'RE AN OLD MAN
OUT FEEDING CHICKENS.

THAT'S HOW
YOU BECOME A FARMER.

WELL, PARTNER,
THIS HERE LOOKS LIKE
A PARTIN' OF THE WAYS.

UH-- [ Clears Throat ]
I WAS JUST THINKING, IF, UH--

IF YOU'RE GONNA BE AROUND
THE FAIR HERE FOR A WHILE,
MAYBE WE COULD SEE EACH OTHER.

FOR A HAMBURGER
OR SOMETHING?

WELL, I WISH
YOU'D ASKED A SMART GIRL,
BUT SINCE YOU DIDN'T,

I'LL BE AROUND
THE OUTDOOR SHOW TONIGHT.

DON'T WORRY. I WON'T, UH,
SHY YOU INTO ANYTHING.

THAT'S FOR THE FLOWERS.
THINK NOTHING OF IT.

?? RIGHT BETWEEN THE EYES ??

?? QUITE A BELT ??

?? THAT BLOW I FELT
THIS MORNING ??

?
?? FATE GAVE ME NO WARNING ?

?? GREAT ??

?? WAS MY SURPRISE ??

?? I SAW YOU
STANDING IN THE SUN ??

?? AND YOU WERE
SOMETHING TO SEE ??

?? I KNOW WHAT I LIKE
AND I LIKED WHAT I SAW ??

?? AND I SAID TO MYSELF ??

?? THAT'S FOR ME ??

??
?? A LOVELY MORNING, I REMARKED

?? AND YOU WERE QUICK
TO AGREE ??

?? YOU WANTED TO WALK
AND I NODDED MY HEAD ??

?? AS I BREATHLESSLY SAID ??

?? THAT'S FOR ME ??

?? YOU LEFT ME
STANDING HERE ALONE ??

?? THE DAY'S ADVENTURES
ARE THROUGH ??

?? THERE'S NOTHING FOR ME
BUT THE DREAM IN MY HEART ??

?? AND THE DREAM IN MY HEART ??

?? THAT'S FOR YOU ??

?? OH, MY DARLING ??

?? THAT'S FOR YOU ??

?? I KNOW WHAT I LIKE
AND I LIKED WHAT I SAW ??

?? AND I SAID TO MYSELF ??

YEAH! THAT'S FOR ME.

??
?? A LOVELY MORNING, I REMARKED

?? AND YOU WERE QUICK
TO AGREE ??

?? THAT'S FOR ME ??

?? YOU LEFT ME
STANDING HERE ALONE ??

?? THE DAY'S ADVENTURES
ARE THROUGH ??

?? THERE'S NOTHING FOR ME
BUT THE DREAM IN MY HEART ??

?? AND THE DREAM IN MY HEART ??

?? THAT'S FOR YOU ??

?? OH, MY DARLING ??

?? THAT'S ??

?? FOR ??

?? YOU ????

[ Grunting ]

HEY! WHERE'S YOUR FATHER?

ABEL, WHAT KEPT YOU?
I WAITED LUNCH TILL 3:00.

I'M NOT HUNGRY!
GIVE ME A HAND WITH THIS
BLAMED THING, WILL YOU?

ISN'T MY BLANKET
GOOD ENOUGH FOR HIM?
THIS IS FOR ME.

OH? PLANNING ON
SPENDING THE NIGHT HERE?

IF I HAVE TO.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO.
WE CAN HIRE A HOG-SITTER.

DON'T GET SO SMART,
MELISSA.
THIS IS SERIOUS.

DID YOU GIVE HIM
ONE OF DOC'S NEW PILLS?

NOW, I ASK YOU,
DOES THAT HOG
NEED CALMIN' DOWN?

I DON'T KNOW, DEAR.
MAYBE HE'S JUST HOMESICK.

HOW CAN A HOG GET HOMESICK?
[ Grunts ]

PEOPLE GET HOMESICK.
MAYBE THEY DO TOO.

LOOK AT HIM--

ALL THAT HOG
TURNED CHICKEN.

DOC CRAMER MUST'VE HAD
A PREMONITION.

HONEY, IS THERE
ANYTHING I CAN DO?

I WISH I KNEW. HONESTLY,
I'VE TRIED EVERYTHING.

I HAVE NAGGED HIM.
I'VE BEGGED HIM.

I'VE BRIBED HIM
WITH SUGAR AND SORGHUM.

I'VE PROMISED HIM EVERYTHING
BUT A TRIP TO HONOLULU.

IT'S JUST PLAIN,
UTTERLY HOPELESS.

WELL, AT LEAST HE WON'T GO
INTO THAT RING OVERCONFIDENT.

[ Scoffs ]
OH, HONEY. I'M SORRY.

DON'T FRET ABOUT IT.
LOOK, SOMETHING WILL HAPPEN.

THERE'LL BE A CHANGE
IN THE WEATHER, OR HE'LL
GET USED TO IT HERE--

SOME LITTLE THING--
AND ALL OF A SUDDEN,
HE'LL BE STRUTTING AROUND...

LIKE ALY KHAN
OR WHOEVER IT IS
YOU WANT HIM TO BE.

I SURE HOPE
YOU'RE RIGHT.

DO YOU MIND IF I
STAY HERE ALONE?
NO.

AT LEAST I HAVE
ONE CONSOLATION.

IF I WERE AVA GARDNER,
YOU'D STILL SPEND THE NIGHT
IN THIS HOGPEN.

[ Laughs ]
GOD BLESS.

[ Sighs ]
???? [ Calliope ]

[ Panting ]

BLUEBOY, BABY,
YOU GOTTA THINK POSITIVE.
[ Panting Continues ]

TELL YOURSELF
YOU'RE WONDERFUL.

TRY A SOFT SELL AT FIRST.
THEN WORK UP.

[ Grunting ]

NO, I AIN'T GONNA
DO THAT.
[ Grunts ]

NO, I'M NOT!
[ Grunting ]

WHAT'LL PEOPLE THINK?
WE'LL BOTH LOOK FOOLISH.

[ Grunting ]

ALL RIGHT.
MAYBE ONE CHORUS.
[ Grunts ]

BUT I AIN'T GONNA
DO IT LOUD.

???? [ Continues ]
FRIEND,

YOU'RE MORE THAN
JUST A FRIEND.

LOYAL, LOVING...

TILL THE END.

?? SWEET HOG OF MINE ??

?? SWEET HOG OF MINE ??

?? WARM AND SOFT
AFFECTION LIES ??

??
?? IN YOUR TEENY-WEENY EYES

?? SWEET HOG OF MINE ??

?? SWEET HOG OF MINE ??

?? WHEN THE LENGTH'NING
SHADOWS FALL ??

?? AND THE DAY IS THROUGH ??

?? YOU WILL ALWAYS
HEAR ME CALL ??

?? SOO-EE ??

?? SOO-EE ??

?? OTHER FRIENDS
MAY DRIFT AWAY ??

?? TELL ME THAT
YOU'LL ALWAYS STAY ??

]
-?? SWEET HOG OF MINE ??
-???? [ Grunts Rhythmically

?
?? SWEET HOG OF MINE ???

[ Grunting ]

NOW I'VE SEEN EVERYTHING.

YOU MISERABLE LUMP OF LARD!

[ Grunting ]

ABEL FRAKE!

WELL, IF IT AIN'T
GEORGE HOFFER.

WELL, IF IT AIN'T,
HIS CLOTHES SURE FIT ME.
HOW ARE YOU, ABEL?

MAN, I'D HAVE
TO FEEL BETTER TO DIE.
[ Laughs ]

SAY, THAT'S A GOOD-LOOKING
SOW YOU GOT THERE, GEORGE.

AIN'T SHE JUST THE BEST-LOOKING
FAT LADY YOU EVER SAW?

I NEVER COULD BREED
A GOOD REAR END
UNTIL THIS YEAR.

ZSA ZSA, SAY HELLO
TO MR. FRAKE.

SHE'S A BEAUTY, GEORGE.

WHAT'S YOU FOLKS
GOT WORKING?

I GOT A PRIME
HAMPSHIRE BOAR.

BUT THE WAY HE'S ACTIN',
I'LL HAVE TO ENTER HIM
AS A GARTER SNAKE.

SAY, I GOTTA MEET
THE OLD LADY OVER IN RABBITS.
I'VE GOTTA GET SOME LUNCH.

I'LL SEE YOU LATER, ABEL.
GOOD LUCK
TO YOU, GEORGE.

[ Sighs ]

[ Grunting ]

[ Snorts ]

[ Blueboy Snuffling ]

SOO-EE!

SOO-EE!

OTHER FRIENDS
MAY DRIFT AWAY.

[ Snuffling ]

TELL ME THAT YOU'LL
ALWAYS STAY.

?? SWEET HOG OF MINE ??
???? [ Blueboy Grunts ]

?? SWEET HOG OF MINE ????
???? [ Grunting ]

THE DISHES ARE ALL STACKED,
MOTHER. IS IT ALL RIGHT
IF I GO NOW?

I NEVER SAW SO MUCH FUSS
AND FEATHERS JUST TO WALK
AROUND THE MIDWAY.

THE MIDWAY'S
VERY DRESSY THIS YEAR.

???? [ Humming ]
WAYNE!

I WANT YOU TO TAKE
YOUR SISTER OUT TONIGHT
AND SHOW HER SOME FUN.

TONIGHT? MA,
I-I CAN'T TONIGHT.

I-- I'VE GOT
A TRICKY CARBURETOR.
HE'S RIGHT.

A TRICKY CARBURETOR'S ONE OF
THE WORST THINGS YOU CAN HAVE.
THAT'S RIGHT!

BESIDES, THERE'S THIS GIRL.
I MET HER AT BUTTER SCULPTURE.

SHE'S VERY SHY,
AND I TOLD HER I'D WALK
AROUND THE MIDWAY WITH HER.

IT'S SORT OF MY DUTY.

YEAH. ALL RIGHT.

BUT BE SURE YOU'RE HOME
AT A DECENT HOUR.

OH, THAT'S WHY
I'M STARTIN' SO EARLY.

?? I KNOW WHAT I LIKE
AND I LIKED WHAT I SAW ??

??
?? AND I SAID TO MYSELF

?
?? THAT'S FOR ME ???

[ Exhales ]

WELL, WHAT HAPPENED?
BLUEBOY KICK YOU OUT?

YOU'RE SUCH A SMART ALECK,
I SHOULDN'T EVEN TELL YA.

[ Chuckles ]
[ Chuckles ]

GENGHIS KHAN RIDES AGAIN.
HE'S A CINCH.

WELL, I'M GLAD
SOMEBODY'S GONNA WIN.

MY MINCEMEAT WON'T.

CLASS DOUBLE "A."

IT'S MY FAULT
FOR GETTING TWO FIRSTS
IN PICKLES LAST YEAR.

WINNING IN SWEETS WAS ALL RIGHT,
BUT REPEATING IN DILLS
WAS JUST PLAIN GAUDY.

WHAT'S WRONG WITH
DOUBLE "A"?

OH, ABEL. IT PUTS ME UP
AGAINST BELCO AND FREMONT--

NOT JUST HOUSEWIVES,
BUT BIG CANNERIES.

HONEY, THE ONLY THING
THOSE BIG COMPANIES HAVE...

IS A BUNCH OF NICE LABELS.

YOU'VE GOT THE KITCHEN.

TOO BAD YOU'RE NOT A JUDGE.
???? [ Whistling ]

WHAT'S HE SO HAPPY ABOUT?

OH, HE'S GOING OUT TO FIX
A TRICKY CARBURETOR.
HUH.

I'LL GET YOU SOME DINNER.

[ People Screaming ]

[ Big Tex ]
HURRY! HURRY!

IT'S THE BIGGEST,
THE BRIGHTEST...

AND THE BEST STATE FAIR
ON EARTH.

YOU'LL LOVE EVERY MINUTE,

AND YOU'LL HAVE
THE TIME OF YOUR LIFE.

AND HERE IS BART EMERSON,
THE PRIDE OF DEAF SMITH COUNTY,

WHO IS GOING TO TRY TO BREAK
THE OLD HEAVYWEIGHT RECORD
WITH A MILITARY PRESS.

NOW, UH, HE'S GOT TO PRESS
BETTER THAN 260...

IN ORDER TO BETTER
LEO CENTER'S OLD MARK.

BART IS JUST ABOUT READY
AND, UH, IS WALKING UP
TO THE WEIGHTS.

BENDS DOWN, PICKS UP--
UP TO THE SHOULDER.

LOOKS LIKE-- LOOKS LIKE
HE'S GONNA MAKE IT.

AND HE'S MADE IT!
THAT'S GREAT.

CONGRATULATIONS, BART.

THAT'S ABOUT ALL THE TIME
WE HAVE FOR NOW, BUT WE'LL
BE BACK AGAIN TWICE TOMORROW.

IN THE MEANTIME, HERE'S A WORD
FROM SPIKE, THE AFTERSHAVE
LOTION THAT GIVES YOU A LIFT.

THANK YOU.
THANK YOU, JERRY.

WELL, MEN, MAYBE YOU
CAN'T LIFT 265 POUNDS,

BUT I KNOW ABOUT SOMETHING
THAT'LL GIVE YOU A REAL LIFT--
SPIKE AFTERSHAVE LOTION.

YOU SEE, FELLOWS,
IT'S SPECIALLY MADE...

TO GIVE YOU THAT
"I CAN DO ANYTHING" FEELING.

SO WHY DON'T YOU THROW AWAY
THOSE WEAK, PUNY LOTIONS YOU'VE
BEEN USING AND GET YOURSELF--

I'LL BE RIGHT BACK, AND THEN
WE'LL GRAB THAT BEER. ALL RIGHT?
GREAT!

HEY, GUYS. I'LL SEE YOU
IN THE MORNING, ALL RIGHT?

HEY, PUNCH UP
CAMERA TWO, WILL YA?

THANKS, PAPPY.

AND OF COURSE WE'RE BACK
TWICE TOMORROW.

SO WE'LL SEE YOU THEN ON KTVT.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH,
AND GOOD NIGHT.

HEY! HOW ABOUT THAT BEER?

NEVER TOUCH THE STUFF.
THANK YOU.

[ Barkers Chattering ]

[ Balloons Popping ]

HEY! HEY!
[ Muttering ]

GET BACK IN LINE!

[ Girls Screaming ]

[ Screaming ]

NOW THAT WE'RE INTRODUCED,
HOW ABOUT SNAPPING UP
SOME GROCERIES WITH ME?

I'VE ALREADY HAD SUPPER.
ALL RIGHT. A DRINK.

I KNOW A PLACE YOU'LL JUST LOVE.
IN FACT, THEY SERVE
THE BEST OLIVES IN TOWN.

???? [ Jazz ]
GOOD EVENING.

I-- I LIKE THE WAY
YOUR HAIR BOUNCES
WHEN YOU WALK.

EVERYBODY'S HAIR BOUNCES
WHEN THEY WALK.
WELL, MINE DOESN'T.

WHAT'LL IT BE, SIR?

HOW DO YOU TAKE
YOUR VODKA?

VODKA?
AH, BIG DADDY'LL
TAKE CARE OF IT.

UH, VODKA AND TONIC--
DOS, POR FAVOR.

CAN I SEE YOUR DRIVER'S LICENSE
OR I.D. CARD, MA'AM?

UM--
[ Sputters ]

UH, I DON'T THINK
I HAVE IT WITH ME,

BUT I'M SURE THAT--
FORGET IT. JUST BRING
THE LADY A LEMON SQUIRT...

AND MAKE MY VODKA
A DOUBLE.

THANK YOU.

I'M SORRY.
OH, THAT'S ALL RIGHT.

YOU DON'T HAVE
TO FILE A BRIEF ON IT.

SAY, YOU LOOK WORRIED
ABOUT SOMETHING.

OH, NO. I WAS JUST
THINKING ABOUT, WELL,
HOW DIFFERENT YOU ARE...

FROM A MAN THAT--

FROM ALL THE MEN BACK HOME.

THE WAY YOU TALK--
WELL, HOW DO I TALK?

OH, HOW YOU SAY, "THEY SERVE
THE BEST OLIVES IN TOWN,"
INSTEAD OF "MARTINIS."

NOBODY BACK HOME
WOULD EVER THINK OF THAT.

OH, I GUESS THAT COMES
FROM TRAVELING.

I DON'T MEAN DALLAS.
I MEAN THE REAL PLACES
OUT IN THE WORLD,

LIKE, UH, COPENHAGEN
AND VIENNA AND PARIS...

AND RIO-- PARIS--
[ Clicks Tongue ]

I GOTTA TELL YOU
ABOUT A LITTLE STRIPPER
I MET IN PARIS ONE TIME.

NOW, YOU KNOW THE PLACE PIGALLE.
EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT.

WELL, THERE'S A STRIPPER THERE--
CUTE, BUT STRICTLY
FOR THE FLYPAPER.

ANYHOW, SHE GIVES ME THE OFFICE
WHILE SHE'S WORKING.

SHE'S WEARING
THIS CELLOPHANE SKIRT,

AND SHE COMES OVER TO MY TABLE,
SITS HERSELF DOWN,
AND WHAT DO YOU THINK SHE DOES?

GIVES ME A PAIR
OF PINKING SHEARS.
[ Laughs ]

SO HELP ME! YES.

GRACIAS.
THANK YOU.

HERE. IT SAVES
A LOT OF ARGUMENTS.

NOW, YOU GET WET, AND I'M GONNA
TELL YOU ABOUT A GEISHA PARTY
I WAS TO ONE TIME.

THERE WAS THIS GIRL--
SHE BACKED INTO AN ELECTRIC FAN,
GOT HER SASH CAUGHT IN IT.

YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED?
[ Snaps Fingers ]
SUKIYAKI!

[ Chuckling ]
[ Laughs ]

???? [ Overture ]

???? [ Orchestra Continues ]

???? [ Waltz ]

???? [ Swing, Soft-shoe Tempo ]

???? [ Continues ]

?? MAYBE I'LL NEVER BE
THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE ??

?? MAYBE I'M NOT THE GIRL
OF YOUR DREAMS ??

?
?? BUT ISN'T IT KIND OF FUN
TO LOOK IN EACH OTHER'S EYES ?

?? SWAPPING ROMANTIC GLEAMS ??

?? MAYBE I'M NOT A GIRL
TO HAVE AND TO HOLD ??

?? MAYBE I'M NOT A GIRL
WHO WOULD STAY ??

?? BUT ISN'T IT KIND OF FUN
CAROUSING AROUND THE TOWN ??

?
?? DANCING THE NIGHTS AWAY ?

?? ISN'T IT KIND OF FUN
HOLDING HANDS ??

?? ACCORDING TO A SWEET
AND CORNY CUSTOM ??

[ Noisemakers Squeak ]
?? ISN'T IT KIND OF FUN
MAKING VOWS ??

?? ADMITTING THAT WE BOT
H INTEND TO BUST 'EM ??

?? MAYBE WE'RE OUT FOR LAUGH
S A GIRL AND A BOY ??

?? KIDDING ACROSS
A TABLE FOR TWO ??

?? BUT HAVEN'T YOU GOT A HUNCH
THAT THIS HE REAL McCOY ??

[ Together ]
?? AND ALL THE THING
S WE TELL ??

?? EACH OTHER ??
[ No Audible Dialogue ]

?? ARE ??

?? TRUE ??

???? [ Faster ]

?? I'M NOT A GIRL
FOR SENTIMENTAL TRIPE ??

?? I NEVER GO
FOR THE ROMEO TYPE ??

?? I'M NOT A DEWY-EYED JULIET ??

??
?? NO ONE HAS SEEN ME DROOL YET

?? I DON'T SAY
OUR HEARTS ARE TIED ??

?? BY LOVE'S ETERNAL TETHER ??

?? BUT USING WORDS
LESS DIGNIFIED ??

???? [ Rock And Roll, Slow ]
?? ISN'T IT KIND OF FUN
TO BE TOGETHER ??

?? WELL, MAYBE I'LL NEVER BE ??

?? THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE ??

?? MAYBE I'M NOT THE GIRL
OF YOUR DREAMS ??

??
?? BUT ISN'T IT KIND OF FUN

??
?? TO LOOK IN EACH OTHER'S EYES

??
?? SWAPPING ROMANTIC GLEAMS

?? MAYBE I'M NOT A GIRL ??

?? TO HAVE AND TO HOLD ??

?? MAYBE I'M NOT A GIRL
WHO WOULD STAY ??

??
?? BUT ISN'T IT KIND OF FUN

?? CAROUSING AROUND THE TOWN ??

?? DANCING THE NIGHTS AWAY ??
???? [ Cha-cha ]

???? [ Cha-cha Continues ]

???? [ Faster Latin ]

???? [ Rock And Roll, Slow ]

?? WELL, MAYBE
WE'RE OUT FOR LAUGHS ??

?? A GIRL AND A BOY ??

?? KIDDING ACROSS
A TABLE FOR TWO ??

?? BUT HAVEN'T YOU GOT A HUNCH
THAT THIS IS THE REAL McCOY ??

?? THAT ALL OF THE THINGS
WE TELL EACH OTHER ??

?? AND ALL THE THINGS
WE TELL EACH OTHER ??

?? AND ALL THE THINGS
WE TELL EACH OTHER ??

?? ARE ??

?? ARE ??

???? [ Latin, Faster ]
?? TRUE ????

MAY I ASK FOR
YOUR TICKET, PLEASE?

???? [ Stops ]

???? [ Ends ]

HI, EMILY.
BOY, OH, BOY.

WHEN YOU WALKED OUT ON THAT
STAGE, I WAS THE MOST SURPRISED
MAN SINCE MOSES HAD THE MUMPS.

WELL, I WISH THE CRITICS
FELT THAT WAY.
WHAT'LL WE DO?

TELL YOU WHAT, WE COULD,
UH-- WE COULD TAKE A LOOK
AROUND THE FAIR.

THAT'S WHAT I LIKE, DARLING--
REAL FAR-OUT STUFF.
[ Laughs ]

[ Man Announcing ]
THERE THEY GO. A TUG-OF-WAR...

BETWEEN A TRACTOR AND THESE
FINELY MATCHED PERCHERONS.

[ Crowd Shouting ]

LOOKS LIKE THESE
PROUD HORSES ARE NO MATCH
FOR A WELL-MADE CARBURETOR.

IT MUST MAKE THEM SAD,
IF HORSES EVER GET SAD--
BEATEN BY A TRACTOR.

NOT ANOTHER HORSE. A MACHINE.
THEY'RE NO WORSE OFF
THAN WE ARE.

OVER AT THE COMMERCE EXHIBIT
THEY'VE GOT I.B.M. MACHINES
THAT ARE SMARTER THAN PEOPLE.

IF THEY KEEP THAT UP,
IN A COUPLE OF YEARS THEY CAN
DO AWAY WITH ALL OF US.

THEY CAN RUN A WHOLE
STATE FAIR WITH JUST
A FEW MACHINES...

AND A CAN
OF AXLE GREASE.

YOU KNOW, YOU'RE THE FIRST
MINT-FLAVORED GIRL
I'VE EVER KISSED.

OR MAYBE IT'S WINTERGREEN.
I'M NOT SURE.

IT'S A NEW PERFUME
CALLED "CATASTROPHE."
[ Laughs ]

NO, I DIDN'T MEAN
THE PERFUME. I MEANT,
UH, EVERYTHING.

YOU SEE, IT'S WHAT YOU SEEM
LIKE-- LIKE A PATCH OF MINT
OUT BY THE BACK PORCH.

BACK PORCH?
I THOUGHT YOU ONLY WENT
TO EXCITING PLACES.

OKAY, HOW 'BOUT A--
A PATCH OF MINT
BY THE CASBAH?

I KNOW. I KNOW.
YOUR MOTHER'S IN MINCEMEAT,
AND IT'S GETTIN' LATE.

PLEASE, IT'S--
IT'S NOT FAIR.
NOT FAIR TO WHO?

ANY OF US.
YOU GOT A BOY BACK HOME?

NOT EXACTLY.

HARRY'S-- WE'VE BEEN
GOING TOGETHER A LONG TIME.

- YOU, UH, GONNA GET MARRIED?
- I GUESS SO.

EVERYBODY ELSE IN BANNING DOES.

SURE SOUNDS LIKE
A SWINGIN' TOWN.

COME ON.

WHAT'S HE LIKE?

WELL, HARRY'S NICE,
ONLY-- I HOPE YOU
WON'T MISUNDERSTAND,

BUT... EVERY TIME IT RAINS,
HARRY ALWAYS SAYS,
"IT'S FINE WEATHER FOR DUCKS."

HARRY'S FUNNY TOO,
ISN'T HE?
[ Laughs ]

COME ON, BABY.

REMEMBER THOSE I.B.M. MACHINES.
LET'S GET AT IT BEFORE
PEOPLE GO OUT OF STYLE.

MMM.

[ Chuckles ]

[ Hooting, Screaming ]

HERE YOU ARE.

SMILE.

[ No Audible Dialogue ]

OH, IT'S BLURRED.
THEY'RE ALWAYS BLURRED.

HEY.
HI, RED.

SHOULDN'T YOU
BE RESTIN' UP?

I'LL BE IN SHAPE.
DON'T WORRY.
YOU SURE?

A LITTLE WHILE WITH HER, YOU
WON'T WANT TO CLIMB IN A RACER.
YOU'LL NEED AN IRON LUNG.

THAT JUST HAPPENS
TO BE THE WRONG WAY
TO TALK ABOUT A LADY.

SHE DOESN'T MIND.
WHY SHOULD YOU?

I SUGGEST YOU TAKE
THAT BACK RIGHT NOW.

YOU'D BETTER RUN ALONG.
COME ON, WAYNE.
LET'S GO.

NOW, WAIT A SECOND.
I WANT AN APOLOGY,
OR I'M GONNA POWDER THIS GUY.

PACK UP, SON.
PUT UP
OR SHUT UP, RED.

YOU BETTER TAKE
YOUR BOYFRIEND HOME
AND PUT HIM TO BED.

COME ON,
WAYNE.
BACK UP, EMILY.

BABY! BABY!

WHAT'D HE DO?
QUIT?
YES, DARLING.

GUESS I FORGOT TO DUCK.

I'D HAVE NAILED HIM
WITH MY ONE-TWO PUNCH--
[ Chuckles ]

IF HE'D JUST
WAITED A WHILE.

OOH, MY SHOULDER.
THAT'S ALL RIGHT. WE'LL GET
SOME LINIMENT AT MY APARTMENT.

HOW'S BUTTER SCULPTURE?

UH, OH, JUST FINE.

SHOWS YOU HOW SILLY I AM.
I'D HAVE SWORN IT WAS
A BOYFRIEND.

HOW DID YOU KNOW
IT WAS A BOY?

HONEY, WHERE YOU'RE GOING
WE'VE ALREADY BEEN.

HOW SERIOUS IS IT?

OH, MOTHER,
IT'S SO CONFUSING.

HE KEPT TRYIN' TO KISS ME,
ONLY I WOULDN'T LET HIM...
EXACTLY.

THAT'S WHAT I LIKE-- GUTS.

EVERY 10 FEET,
HE WANTED TO STOP AND KISS.
[ Shoe Hits Floor ]

RIGHT THEN, I KNEW
I HAD TO MAKE A DECISION.
OH, ABSOLUTELY.

SO I DECIDED NOT
TO SEE HIM AGAIN.
I SAID NO--

PLAIN, FLAT "NO."

JUST LIKE THAT.
EXACTLY.

I HAVEN'T TOLD HIM YET,
BUT THAT'S EXACTLY THE WAY
I SAID IT TO MYSELF.

[ Sighs ]
I'M RIGHT,

DON'T YOU THINK?

I'M NOT SO SURE.

?? WHEN I WAS JUST
ABOUT YOUR AGE
MY MOTHER TAUGHT ME LOTS ??

?? SHE SHOWED ME HOW
TO CLEAN A FLOOR
AND HOW TO SCOUR POTS ??

?? SHE TAUGHT ME
ONE THING MORE ??

?? A WORD THAT MEN ABHOR ??

?? NEVER SAY NO TO A MAN ??

?? SIMPLY AVOID
SAYING YES TO HIM ??

?? THAT LEAVES
THE ULTIMATE GUESS TO HIM ??

?? DARLING, DON'T EVER SAY NO ??

?
?? MEN FIND THE NEGATIVE ROUGH ?

?? GIVE AN AFFIRMATIVE
GRIN TO HIM ??

?? YOU NEEDN'T REALLY
GIVE IN TO HIM ??

?? DON'T USE
THE POSITIVE NO ??

?? NO IS A MEAN MONOSYLLABLE
FIT FOR A HORSE ??

?? A DOG OR A COW OR A CALF ??

?? A NOD AND A SMILE ??

?? WOULD CUT
THE DIVORCE STATISTICS
BY JUST ABOUT HALF ??

[ No Audio ]
?? MAYBE, PERHAPS
IF I CAN ??

?? THESE ARE SOME WORDS
THAT WILL DO AS WELL ??

?? DARLING, HE'S SURE
TO LOVE YOU AS WELL ??

?? NEVER SAY NO TO A MAN ????

MMM.

YOU KNOW SOMETHING,
EMILY?

YOUR HANDS ARE
AS SOFT AS THE BOTTOM
OF A BABY DUCK.

REALLY? YOU GO AROUND
FEELING DUCK BOTTOMS MUCH?
[ Laughs ]

THIS SURE IS SWELL
OF YOU, EMILY.

BUT I WISH WE COULD
HAVE WALKED AROUND
THE MIDWAY MORE,

YOU KNOW, SEEING
THE FAIR TOGETHER.

DARLING, IF ANYBODY EVER ASKS
YOU, "DID YOUR DEAR FRIEND
EMILY EVER SEE A STATE FAIR?"

YOU TELL 'EM,
"MY DEAR FRIEND EMILY SURE
HAS SEEN A LOT OF STATE FAIRS."

I'M SORRY, EMILY.
DON'T BE. WE WERE RUNNING OUT
OF LINIMENT ANYWAY.

YOU KNOW, I FEEL WONDERFUL.
I-I THINK IT'S BECAUSE
YOU'RE SO WONDERFUL, EMILY.

YOU'RE THE MOST
EXCITING GIRL
I'VE EVER KNOWN.

I MEAN IT.
THERE WAS NEVER ANYBODY
IN BANNING LIKE YOU.

DARLING, ARE YOU SURE THAT
THIS IS THE RIGHT PLACE
FOR YOU TO BE?

I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
THAT I'VE BEEN HERE BEFORE.

IN THIS ROOM?
NO.

THE NUMBER'S DIFFERENT,
BUT I'VE BEEN HERE.

DOES THAT MEAN YOU'RE--

UH, YOU'RE A-A BAD GIRL?

NO. BUT I WOULDN'T WANT
TO RUN A GALLUP POLL ON IT.

THE POINT IS,
YOU BETTER KNOW THE RULES.
RULES?

SHOW BUSINESS--
ALWAYS LEAVE 'EM LAUGHING.
NOTHING SERIOUS.

IF THAT'S THE WAY
YOU WANT THINGS.
HONEY, THAT'S NOT WHATIWANT.

WE'VE GOT A VERY STRONG UNION,
DARLING, AND THEY FINE US
IF IT GETS SERIOUS, DIG?

I UNDERSTAND, EMILY.
I HOPE SO.

NOW, THIS TIME DON'T TELL ME
YOU FORGOT TO DUCK.

?? NIGHTTIME
WAS MORNING ??

?? AND MORNING
WAS NOON ??

?? NOW THAT YOU'VE
TOUCHED ME ??

?? THERE'S NO TIME
TOO SOON ??

?? WILLING
AND EAGER ??

?? AS YOU ARE
FOR ME ??

?? HUNGRY
AND THIRSTY ??

?? AND NEAR
AS CAN BE ??

?
?? ANXIOUS
AND REACHING ?

?? AND GLAD
TO BE FOUND ??

?? HERE I AM ??

?
?? LOOK AROUND ?

?? WILLING
AND EAGER ??

?? AND HAPPY ??

?? TO BE ??

?? HALF ??

?? OF YOU ??

?? AND ME ??

OH, PLEASE, DARLING.
LET'S COUNT TO 10...

OR FIVE AT LEAST.

?? WILLING
AND EAGER ??

?? AS YOU ARE
FOR ME ??

?? HUNGRY
AND THIRSTY ??

?? AND NEAR
AS CAN BE ??

?? ANXIOUS
AND REACHING ??

?? AND GLAD
TO BE FOUND ??

?? HERE I AM ??

?? LOOK AROUND ??

[ Together ]
?? WILLING
AND EAGER ??

?? AND HAPPY ??

?? TO BE ??

?? HALF OF YOU ??

?? AND ME ????

[ Big Tex ]
IT'S FUN.

DON'T MISS THE GREATEST
STATE FAIR OF ALL.

[ Crowd Chattering ]

WELL, HERE WE GO. MILES
AND MILES OF JAMS AND JELLIES,
CAKES AND PIES AND PICKLES...

AND ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING
TO WOO THE INNER MAN,
AND ALL IN OPEN COMPETITION.

YES, SIR, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
THESE ARE THE OLYMPIC GAMES,
POT AND PAN DIVISION.

RIGHT NOW, THE JUDGES
ARE WINDING UP IN PICKLES.

STAY TUNED FOR,
UH, MINCEMEAT,
COMIN' UP NEXT.

OH, I'M SO NERVOUS.
THIS IS THE LAST TIME
I'LL ENTER ANYTHING.

IT JUST ISN'T WORTH IT.
YOU SAY THAT
EVERY YEAR.

LOOK, MOM,
THE BELCO PEOPLE.

HOW'S IT LOOK, SAM?
PRETTY GOOD. WE JUST SCORED
A CLEAN SWEEP IN OLIVES.

I DON'T THINK IT'S FAIR,
MOTHER. THOSE BIG COMPANIES
HAVE ALL THE ADVANTAGE.

AND BEFORE WE GET TO MINCEMEAT,
HERE'S A WORD ABOUT SUNBURST
SHAMPOO. CARL, IT'S ALL YOURS.

THANK YOU, JERRY.
HEY, MR. BURDICK,
WHAT BRINGS YOU OUT?

LITTLE SWITCH
IN PLANS.
IS ANYTHING WRONG?

OH, NO. YOU'RE DOIN' A FINE JOB.

IN FACT, WE WANT YOU
TO COVER THE AUTO RACES.
AUTO RACES?

YOU THINK YOU CAN
HANDLE IT?
I CAN HANDLE ANYTHING.

WELL, I HOPE YOU'RE RIGHT.
WE'RE FEEDING YOUR COVERAGE
CLOSED-CIRCUIT TO CHICAGO.

YOU'RE KIDDIN'?
NOW, JUST DO A GOOD JOB, SON.

I'VE GOT CONFIDENCE
IN YOU-- ALMOST AS MUCH
AS YOU'VE GOT IN YOURSELF.

OH, DEAR. THERE'S
THAT MR. HIPPLEWAITE
FROM LAST YEAR'S PICKLES.

- HE'S BEGINNING TOBEA PICKLE.
- LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, MAY
I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION, PLEASE?

WE ARE NOW READY
FOR THE FINALS
IN MINCEMEAT.

[ Spritzing ]

ANY CHANCE OF MY DUCKIN'
SQUASH NEXT YEAR?

THERE SHOULD BE
AN OPENIN' FOR YOU
IN JELLIES.

[ Spritzes ]
WILSON JUST DOESN'T HAVE
THE BUDS FOR IT ANYMORE.

[ Chattering Fades ]

[ No Audible Dialogue ]

[ No Audible
Gulping ]

WHAT DO YOU THINK?
I DON'T KNOW.

THAT LITTLE GUY
LOOKS LIKE HE GOT
SOME KINDA NERVOUS TIC.

[ Crowd Chattering Softly ]

MMM?
[ Chattering Continues ]

[ Murmuring ]

[ Murmuring Continues ]

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
NOW FOR THE MINCEMEAT RESULTS.

PARDON ME, JUST A MOMENT.
WHAT ABOUT THE PLAQUE?

[ Murmurs ]
BY ALL MEANS.

- YOUR ATTENTION, PLEASE.
- [ Chattering Continues ]

SILENCE.
QUIET!

[ Chattering Fades ]
AS YOU KNOW,
WE OCCASIONALLY GIVE A PLAQUE...

FOR DISTINGUISHED ACHIEVEMENT.
[ Applauding ]

[ Applause Fades ]
THIS PLAQUE IS GIVEN
IN CERTAIN "CARE CASES"--

"RARE RACES."

IT WAS "UMANISLY"--
"UNANISLY-MUH-LY"...

VOTED AT THIS YEAR'S FAIR...

TO THE TANGIEST MINCEMEAT
THE JUDGES HAVE EVER TASTED.

THE WINNER OF THIS YEAR'S
FIRST PRIZE AND
THE SPECIAL PLAQUE...

IS MRS. MELISSA "FRAN"
OF "BAKING"--

MAKING-- BRANNING-- BRINK--
MRS.-- THIS LADY HERE.

[ Applause ]
[ Sighs ]

I THINK I'M GONNA CRY.
I HONESTLY DO.

CONGRATULATIONS, MRS. FRAKE,
AND A GREAT BIG HANDSHAKE...

FROM THE MAKERS
OF SUNBURST SHAMPOO.
OH, THANK YOU.

MAY I HAVE THE PLAQUE?
THANK YOU. HERE YOU GO.

NOW, COULD YOU TELL US A WORD
OR TWO ABOUT YOUR RECIPE?
OH, IT WAS MY GRANDMOTHER'S.

WELL, WHAT WOULD YOU SAY
WAS HER SECRET?
SHE BELIEVED IN PLENTY OF LEMON.

PLENTY OF LEMON. WONDERFUL.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH, MRS. FRAKE.
OH, THANK YOU. THANK YOU.

AND NOW WE'LL GET A RUNDOWN FROM
OUR JUDGES. MR. HIPPLEWAITE,
JUST A WORD, PLEASE.

I'D BE HAPPY TO,
YOUNG MAN.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN--
[ Burps ]
YES. THANK YOU, MR. HIPPLEWAITE.

IF YOU'LL FOLLOW US THIS WAY,
WE HAVE A WONDERFUL SELECTION
OF DRIED FIG NEWTONS--

[ Big Tex ]
YOU WILL LOVE EVERY MINUTE.

I NEVER KNEW WHAT A STRAIN
IT WAS TO FINALLY GET SOMETHING
YOU'VE ALWAYS WANTED.

HOW ABOUT AN ICE-CREAM SODA
TO CELEBRATE?
I DON'T THINK SO, DEAR.

I'M WORN OUT. I'M GOING BACK
TO THE TRAILER AND LIE DOWN.
YOU RUN ALONG AND HAVE FUN.

ALL RIGHT, MOTHER.
SEE YOU AT 7:00.
OKAY, DARLING.

GET A GOOD REST.
I WILL.

- JERRY.
- I'VE JUST ENOUGH TIME
FOR A MIDDLE COMMERCIAL.

HOW ARE YA? I GOTTA GO
IN A MINUTE, 'CAUSE I'M
DUE BACK IN LIVESTOCK.

ABOUT TONIGHT, THIS TRAILER
OR WHATEVER IT IS--

ARE YOUR FOLKS
GONNA BE HOME?
YES. WHY?

WELL, NOTHIN'. I JUST THOUGHT
I MIGHT FIND A QUIET PLACE
AND SQUEEZE IN A LITTLE CHESS.

DADDY DOESN'T LIKE CHESS.
HE'D RATHER I PLAYED
OUTDOOR GAMES.

UH-HUH. WELL, UH,
ANYTHING FOR DADDY.

I'LL SEE YOU
AT 8:00.

???? [ Piano:
Soft-shoe ]

[ Whistle Blows ]

???? [ Piano Stops ]
ALL IDS.
TAKE 10.

[ Chattering ]

WHO'S THE COMPETITION?
A FARMER,
AND I QUOTE.

YOU'RE NOT GONNA DO AN ENCORE?
HE IS.
I DID THE APPLAUDING.

HE'S A NICE GUY, JIM--
A VERY NICE GUY.

[ Engine Stops ]

TOOK ME ALL MORNING.
THE "Y" IS A LITTLE COCKEYED,
BUT I WANTED TO DO IT MYSELF.

DIDN'T WANT ANYBODY ELSE
TO TOUCH IT.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?
IT'S VERY THOUGHTFUL,
DARLING.

I GOT THE IDEA FROMDAWN PATROL.
IT WAS ON TV, AND THE PILOT
PUT THE NAME ON THE COWLING.

JUST BEFORE THEY WERE
SHOT DOWN IN FLAMES.
[ Both Laugh ]

DON'T YOU WORRY. WITH THAT
LITTLE OLD NAME THERE,
I'M BOUND TO COME OUT FINE.

I'VE GOT TO GET TO THE TRACK.
SEE YOU AFTER THE SHOW.
WAIT A MINUTE.

YOU HAVEN'T FORGOTTEN OUR GROUND
RULES? THIS IS JUST A SPLIT WEEK
IN DALLAS. NO OPTIONS.

SURE, SURE.
IT'S NOTHIN' SERIOUS.

WE HAVE TO CELEBRATE
"EMILY," DON'T WE?

YES, SUPPOSE WE DO HAVE
TO CELEBRATE "EMEngine Idlin
g, Revs ]

[ Tires Squeal ]

ISN'T IT TIME FOR YOU
TO BE GOING TO BED?

I THOUGHT I MIGHT
WAIT UP FOR THE KIDS.

THINKING OF THAT OLD SLAB
OF BACON, AREN'T YOU?
HMM. I SUPPOSE SO.

MOST PEOPLE WANT
ONE THING OR ANOTHER--
EVEN IF IT'S FOOLISH--

AND THIS IS
THE TIME FOR ME.

OH, THERE'LL BE
OTHER FAIRS,

BUT I'LL NEVER HAVE
ANOTHER BLUEBOY.

IT'S AS IF THE LORD SAID,
"THIS IS IT, ABEL.

YOU'VE GOT BLUEBOY
AT HIS PEAK."

AND DARNED IF I DON'T
THINK SO, MELISSA.

IT ONLY HAPPENS
ONCE TO A PERSON.
LIKE LINDBERGH.

HE HAD ONLY ONE CHANCE
THAT NIGHT HE TOOK OFF.

THAT WAS THE TIME,
RIGHT THEN,

THAT EXACT VERY HOUR.

I'M SURE GLAD HE DIDN'T TRY
TO GET BLUEBOY OFF THE GROUND.
HMM.

AH, YOU WAIT AND SEE.
IT'S GONNA BE THAT WAY HERE.

IT'S THIS FAIR.
NO OTHER FAIR. THIS ONE.

NOW OR NEVER.

YOU BETTER GO TO BED, HONEY.
I'LL STAY A SPELL FOR MARGY.

SHE SEEMS SO AT LOOSE ENDS.
I HOPE SHE FINDS SOME WAY
TO AMUSE HERSELF.

GOOD NIGHT,
DARLIN'.
GOOD NIGHT.

???? [ Waltz ]
[ Chorus ] ?? IT'S A GRAND NIGHT
FOR SINGING ??

[ Man ]
?? THE MOON
IS FLYIN' HIGH ??

?? AND SOMEWHERE A BIRD
WHO IS BOUND HE'LL BE HEARD ??

?? IS THROWING HIS HEART
AT THE SKY ??

[ Jerry ]
?? IT'S A GRAND NIGHT
FOR SINGING ??

?? THE STARS
ARE BRIGHT ABOVE ??

[ Together ]
?? THE EARTH IS AGLOW
AND TO ADD TO THE SHOW ??

??
?? I THINK I AM FALLING IN LOVE

?? FALLING, FALLING IN LOVE ??
?? FALLING, FALLING ??

[ Together ]
?? MAYBE IT'S MORE
THAN THE MOON ??

[ Jerry ]
?? MAYBE IT'S MORE
THAN THE BIRDS ??

?? MAYBE IT'S MORE
THAN THE SIGHT OF THE NIGHT ??

?? IN A LIGHT
TOO LOVELY FOR WORDS ??

?? MAYBE IT'S MORE
THAN THE EARTH ??

?? SHINY AND SILVERY BLUE ??

?? MAYBE THE REASON
I'M FEELIN' THIS WAY ??

??
?? HAS SOMETHING TO DO WITH YOU

[ Together ]
?? IT'S A GRAND NIGHT
FOR SINGING ??

?? THE MOON
IS FLYING HIGH ??

?? AND SOMEWHERE A BIRD
WHO IS BOUND HE'LL BE HEARD ??

?? IS THROWING HIS HEART
AT THE SKY ??

?? IT'S A GRAND NIGHT
FOR SINGING ??

?? THE STARS
ARE BRIGHT ABOVE ??

?? THE EARTH IS AGLOW
AND TO ADD TO THE SHOW ??

??
?? I THINK I AM FALLING IN LOVE

?? FALLING, FALLING ??

?? IN LOVE ????

???? [ Both Scatting ]

?? IT'S A GRAND NIGHT-- ??

?? MMM ????
EMILY.
EMILY.

WAIT, EMILY.
REALLY. WAIT.
[ Giggling ]

LOOK, I'VE BEEN WAITIN'
ALL NIGHT FOR THIS.

TURN AROUND.
WHAT?

TURN AROUND.
TURN AROUND.

CLOSE YOUR EYES.

CLOSE YOUR EYES.

OKAY.

[ Quietly ]
OH.

OH, WAYNE.
DON'T YOU LIKE IT?

IT'S ALMOST A CARAT.
THE JEWELER SAID...
YOU COULD, UH--

YOU COULD SAY IT'S A CARAT
AND, UH, NOBODY WOULD KNOW
THE DIFFERENCE.

[ Sighs ]
WAYNE.

DEAR, CRAZY--

WAIT TILL YOU MEET
THE FOLKS. EMILY,
YOU'LL LOVE 'EM.

AND BANNING--
YOU'LL LIKE BANNING.

LISTEN, THERE'S THE--
THERE'S THE WEDNESDAY BRIDGE
CLUB, THE WOMEN'S CLUB.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO GIVE UP YOUR
SINGING. MOTHER PLAYS THE PIANO.
[ Laughing ] OH.

OH, EMILY, YOU'RE
THE MOST EXCITING GIRL
I'VE EVER KNOWN.

[ Giggling ]

THIS IS THE MOST
WONDERFUL NIGHT
OF MY LIFE.

DON'T YOU SPOIL IT
WITH A LOT OF WORDS.

I DIDN'T SAY
A THING, DARLING.

[ Sobs ]

[ Sighs ]
OH.

WHEN THE FAIR'S OVER,
YOU'LL GO OFF SOMEPLACE--

TO EGYPT OR
ONE OF THOSE COUNTRIES.

THEN WHERE WOULD I BE?

WITH ME.
WHEREVER I GO, YOU GO.

I DON'T EVEN HAVE
THE RIGHT DRESS FOR EGYPT.
WELL, DON'T YOU BOTHER ABOUT IT.

JUST, UH,
DON'T BOTHER ABOUT IT.

PLEASE, JERRY.
WELL, WHY NOT?

IT WOULDN'T BE FAIR TO HARRY.
LOOK, CAN WE DROP HARRY...
RIGHT ON HIS PINK SKULL?

DON'T GET ANGRY.
IT'S NOT JUST HARRY.

WHAT WE'RE DOING--
YOU KNOW IT'LL
LEAD TO SOMETHING.

IT DOESN'T HAVE TO.
IT WILL.
YOU KNOW IT.

BESIDES, IT MAY BE DIFFERENT
FOR YOU. FOR A GIRL,
THERE'S ONLY ONE TIME.

WELL, ONE TIME IN 18 YEARS--
THAT'S NOT SUCH A BAD RECORD
AT ALL, BABY.

PLEASE DON'T JOKE.
YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.

I GUESS YOU THINK
I'M SOME KIND OF AN ANGEL.
WELL, I'M NOT.

I'VE GOT FEELINGS
PEOPLE IN BANNING
DON'T EVEN KNOW ABOUT.

IT'S JUST--
I KNOW.
YOU'RE NO ANGEL.

?? THIS ISN'T HEAVEN
WHO NEEDS IT ??

?? THIS IS THE EARTH
AND YOU ??

?? YOU'RE NOT AN ANGEL
WHO WANTS ONE ??

?? YOU IN THE FLESH WILL DO ??

?? YOU'RE SO REAL
I'M REELIN' ??

?? WHO CALLED YOU DIVINE ??

?? WATCH ME WALK
ACROSS THE CEILIN' ??

?? SHOUTIN', YOU'RE MINE
YOU'RE MINE ??

?? THIS ISN'T HEAVEN
SO WHAT ??

?? YOU'RE NOT AN ANGEL
NO, YOU'RE NOT ??

?? YOU'RE MINE
YOU'RE MINE ??

?? YOU'RE MINE ??

DOES THAT MEAN YOU LOVE ME?
WHAT'D IT SOUND LIKE,
A HOEDOWN?

ANSWER
IMPORTANT TO ME.

?? YOU'RE SO REAL
I'M REELIN' ??

?? WHO CALLED YOU DIVINE ??

?? WATCH ME WALK
ACROSS THE CEILIN' ??

?? SHOUTIN'
YOU'RE MINE ??

?? YOU'RE MINE ??

OF COURSE I LOVE YOU.

THEN I DON'T CARE
WHAT HAPPENS.

I KNOW
YOU WOULDN'T LIE,

SO I DON'T CARE.

I DON'T.

UM--

WHAT'S THE MATTER?

LOOK, CAN WE--
CAN WE BOOK THIS
FOR ANOTHER TIME, HUH?

WE'LL SEE EACH OTHER
TOMORROW NIGHT?

YEAH. YEAH, I'LL, UH,
BE IN FRONT OF BIG TEX.
BUT, UH-- BUT--

GO AHEAD HOME, WILL YA?
JUST... GO AHEAD HOME.

I COULD NEVER
MARRY HARRY.

HOW COULD I,
WHEN I LOVEYOUSO MUCH?
GOOD NIGHT!

?? THIS ISN'T HEAVEN
SO WHAT ??

?? YOU'RE NOT AN ANGEL
NO, YOU'RE NOT ??

?? YOU'RE M-- ????

???? [ Continues ]

???? [ Ends ]

ATTENTION, PLEASE.
MAY I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION?

NEXT EVENT-- JUDGING
FOR GRAND CHAMPION,
HAMPSHIRE BOARS.

[ Both Grunting ]

WILL CONTESTANTS
PLEASE GET THEIR PIGS
READY FOR THE DRIVE?

HEY, DAD, HE LOOKS GOOD,
LIKE A CHAMPION SHOULD.
HE SURE DOES.

HONEY, YOU ALL RIGHT?
HOW'S BLUEBOY? HOW DO YOU FEEL?
CAN I DO SOMETHING--

PLEASE, MELISSA!
HE'S READY TO GO.
WILL THE JUNIOR CHAMPION--

HURRY UP AND
STOP WORRYING, MELISSA.
I'M NOT WORRIED.

AFTER ALL, BLUEBOY IS A FRAKE.
COME ON, MOM.
GOOD LUCK, DAD.

WILL THE JUNIOR CHAMPION
PLEASE COME TO THE RING?

HERE'S THE JUNIOR CHAMPION--

THUNDERBOLT, NUMBER 184.

SHOWING FOR GRAND CHAMPION
HAMPSHIRE BOAR.

OWNER, TRI-STATE FARMS.

[ Crowd Applauding ]

[ Grunting ]

[ Grunting Continues ]
LOOKS KINDA BIG,
DOESN'T HE?

[ Grunting ]

NOW, REMEMBER, BABY,
DON'T RUB IT IN.
[ Grunting ]

JUST GIVE HIM THE LICKIN'
OF HIS LIFE...

AND THEN GIVE HIM
A KINDLY SMILE.

WILL THE SENIOR CHAMPION
PLEASE COME TO THE RING?

FEEDING TIME FOR ZSA ZSA.
GOOD LUCK, ABEL.
THANKS, GEORGE.

[ Grunts, Squeals Softly ]

[ Announcer ]
THE SENIOR CHAMPION--

BLUEBOY, NUMBER 510.

FINALIST FOR GRAND CHAMPION.
[ Loud Applause ]

[ Applause Continues ]
OWNER, MR. ABEL FRAKE.

[ Snuffling Rapidly ]

[ Snuffling Continues ]

[ Stops ]

[ Grunting Softly ]

[ Snuffling ]

-[ Audience Chuckling ]
- WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH HIM?

SHH.
POOR ABEL.

BLUEBOY, BABY. NOT HERE.
THIS IS THE FINALS!

THERE'S NOTHING TO FRET ABOUT.
YOU'RE SOUND AS A DOLLAR.

[ Judge ]
AS A MATTER OF CURIOSITY, UH,
IS THIS HIS NORMAL STANCE?

HE'S PLANNING, SIR. BLUEBOY
ALWAYS DOES A LITTLE PLANNING
BEFORE HE STANDS UP.

RIGHT, BLUEBOY?
[ Panting ]

BLUEBOY, BABY, YOU'RE
CARRYING AROUND THE MOST HOG
THERE EVER WAS IN THE WORLD.

STRUT YOUR STUFF.
THAT'S WHAT THEY'RE LOOKING FOR.

WE'VE BEEN WAITING
A WHOLE YEAR FOR THIS.

[ Panting Continues ]

LOOK, YOU LEAD QUARTER,
I'M SICK AND TIRED
OF YOUR PSYCHE!

GET UP OFF YOUR HAMS!
GET UP!

[ Groans ]

[ Audience Laughing ]

[ Grunting ]

[ Grunts ]

[ Snuffling ]

[ Snuffling Continues ]

[ Stops ]

[ Grunting Softly ]

[ Grunting Continues ]

[ No Audible Dialogue ]

ATTENTION, PLEASE.

TURN TO PAGE 115
IN YOUR CATALOG.

I HAVE THE HONOR TO ANNOUNCE
THE GRAND CHAMPION
HAMPSHIRE BOAR.

- NUMBER 510, BLUEBOY--
-[ Applause ]

OWNER, ABEL FRAKE!

WILL MR. FRAKE PLEASE COME
TO THE JUDGES' STAND?

???? [ Marching Band ]

???? [ Continues ]
ATTABABY!

[ No Audible Dialogue ]

[ Man Announcing ]
GOOD AFTERNOON,
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.

WELCOME TO THE FIFTH RUNNING
OF THE TEXAS STATE FAIR
ANNUAL GOLD CUP RACE.

GOOD AFTERNOON, LADIES AND
GENTLEMEN. THIS IS JERRY DUNDEE
AT THE FAIRGROUNDS RACETRACK.

AS I LOOK AROUND, I CAN SEE THE
STANDS FILLING UP VERY RAPIDLY.
LOOKS LIKE A RECORD TURNOUT.

IN FACT, I CAN SEE AN AWFUL LOT
OF THE TOURING PROS ON HAND
THIS AFTERNOON FOR THIS ONE...

IN ADDITION TO A FEW
OF THE BETTER "FOR FUN" BOYS.

[ Engine Revving ]

THERE HE IS!
OH, YEAH.
COME ON.

I'M SORRY.
YOU STILL HERE?

I THOUGHT YOU'D BE ON YOUR WAY
TO MADISON SQUARE GARDEN BY NOW.

I'LL BE ON THE TRACK, RED.
LOOK ME UP.

I'LL DO THAT.

GO EASY.
RED WAS AROUND WHEN
THE WHEEL WAS INVENTED.

IF HE WANTS TO PLAY,
I'LL BE AS TOUGH AS HE IS.
I DOUBT THAT.

HE HATES PEOPLE
FOR A LIVING.

[ Announcer ]
GOLD CUP ENTRIES
TO THE STARTIN' LINE.

ALL CARS, PLEASE TAKE
ASSIGNED POSITIONS.

WHAT'S THAT ON THE BACK
OF WAYNE'S CAR?

SOME KIND OF PRINTING.

LOOKS LIKE
"EARLY."

[ Margy ]
DADDY, IT DOESN'T SAY "EARLY."
IT SAYS "EMILY."

HE DOESN'T KNOW AN EMILY--
OR DIDN'T.

WONDER WHAT THE BOY'S
BEEN UP TO?

MAYBE HE'S NAMED IT
AFTER ONE OF THOSE
HURRICANES BACK EAST?

THAT'S RIGHT.
I THINK THERE WAS AN EMILY
LAST SEPTEMBER.

DON'T KID ME.
THERE'S AN EMILY THIS OCTOBER,
RIGHT HERE IN DALLAS.

EMILY'S THAT TRICKY CARBURETOR
HE'S BEEN TRYIN' TO FIX
ALL THIS WEEK.

SO WHAT?
WAYNE'S A SENSIBLE BOY.

ALL A SENSIBLE BOY NEEDS
IS TO BUMP INTO SOMEBODY
WITH THE RIGHT KIND OF TWITCH.

HE'LL THINK IT'S LOVE,
AND THAT'LL BE THE END
OF HIS BEING SENSIBLE.

THE CARS HAVE TAKEN
THEIR POSITION NOW,

AND THOSE WITH
THE FASTEST QUALIFYING TIMES
ARE IN THE BACKFIELD.

[ Engines Revving ]

I HATE THESE THINGS.
I JUST HATE 'EM.

THE BOY WANTS EXCITEMENT.
I WAS THAT WAY
WHEN I WAS HIS AGE.

HMM. WHEN YOU WERE HIS AGE,
AUTOMOBILES WENT
SIX MILES AN HOUR.

[ Tires Squealing ]

FRAKE IS MOVING UP,
WITH RED HOERTER
CHALLENGING ALL THE WAY.

THIS IS A REMATCH.
THESE BOYS HAD A MEAN GO
AT EACH OTHER LAST YEAR.

- [ Tires Squealing ]
- [ Women Screaming ]

[ Siren Wailing ]

[ Siren Continues ]

THE DRIVER SEEMS TO BE
ALL RIGHT EXCEPT FOR
WHAT THE PIT BOYS...

MIGHT CALL A LITTLE
BROKEN DIGNITY.

FRAKE HAS MOVED INTO THE LEAD,
AND HIS ARCHENEMY RED HOERTER
IS RIGHT BEHIND HIM.

HOERTER AND FRAKE ARE OPENING UP
OUT OF THE PACK NOW. HOLD IT.

THE YELLOW FLAG IS UP,
BUT IT'S TOO LATE
TO CATCH THE LEADERS.

THEY'VE ALREADY HIT
THE FAR CHUTE.

OH!

ECKHARDT IS NOW MOVING UP
TO HOERTER ON THE OUTSIDE.
THEY'RE FIGHTING FOR POSITION.

[ Bangs ]

[ Banging ]

THAT WAS A DELIBERATE
FORCE-OUT BY RED HOERTER.

[ Tires Squealing ]

IT'S TURNING INTO A TWO-MAN GO--
HOERTER IN THE LEAD AND FRAKE
RIDING HIGH ON THE OUTSIDE.

[ Cheers ]

WHAT? HE'S TRYING
TO SQUEEZE HOERTER OUT,
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,

AND ECKHARDT IS TAKING ADVANTAGE
BY MOVING UP ON BOTH THOSE BOYS.

FRAKE IS FORCING HOERTER
UP TRACK NOW. IT DOESN'T LOOK
LIKE HE'S RIDING TO WIN.

[ Banging ]

-[ Audience Screams ]
- [ Screams ]

BOTH DRIVERS HAVE PLOWED
THROUGH THAT FENCE.

MAL ECKHARDT HAS HIT THE CHUTE
NOW IN THE NUMBER ONE POSITION!

[ Audience Cheering ]

NEVER STRIKE A LADY, RED.

AMAZING WHAT WE FARM BOYS
CAN DO WITH AN ERECTOR SET,
ISN'T IT?

[ Wayne ]
THANKS A LOT.

NOW ALL WE HAVE TO WORRY
ABOUT IS THAT GIRL.

AW, NOW, MAMA.
WELL, MARGY,
HE HAS A GIRL.

- WHY DOES HE HAVE TO GET
MIXED UP WITH TRASH?
-[ Abel ] STOP IT, MELISSA.

IN THE FIRST PLACE,
WHY SHOULD WAYNE BE
INTERESTED IN TRASH?

HE MIGHT NOT KNOW
SHE'S TRASH.

SHE MIGHT NOT EITHER.
COME ON NOW.

SO LONG, "EMILY."
[ Sobs ]

OH, THANK GOODNESS
YOU'RE ALL RIGHT, DARLING.

WE WERE SO WORRIED.
NICE GOING, SON.

EMILY?

EMILY!

CONGRATULATIONS, JERRY.
THAT NETWORK FEED PAID OFF.

WE GOT A "MUST COME"
ON TELETYPE.
A "MUST COME"? WHERE?

THEY WANT YOU TO DO
ALL THE BIG TEN GAMES
WITH MEL ALLEN.

YOU LEAVE TONIGHT.
TONIGHT?

THE 8:00 PLANE TO CHICAGO.
YOU TEE OFF WITH
THE MICHIGAN-NORTHWESTERN GAME.

NOT TONIGHT.
I GOTTA SEE A GIRL.

THIS IS A JUMP FROM TANK-TOWN
TUBE TO THE NETWORKS. YOU CAN'T
BLOW IT FOR LOCAL LAUGHS.

THAT'S THE TROUBLE.
SHE'S NOT LOCAL LAUGHS.
SEND HER A BOX OF CHOCOLATES.

I CAN'T EVEN SEND HER
A MESSAGE. SHE LIVES
IN A TRAILER TOWN.

I'VE GOT TO SEE HER.
THERE'S SOMETHIN'
I HAVE TO TELL HER.

I WANT HER TO KNOW
SHE'S NOT MISSING MUCH.

THAT GIRL WITH THE PINKING
SHEARS? I MADE THAT UP.
WHAT?

AND THE CASBAH?
I NEVER WAS TO THE CASBAH.
I DIDN'T EVEN SEE THE MOVIE.

LOOK, THIS IS YOUR ONE CHANCE.
YOU MAY NEVER GET ANOTHER.
THAT'S WHAT I'M SAYIN'.

WELL, MAKE UP YOUR MIND.
ARE YOU GOING OR NOT?

YEAH, I'M GOING.
GOOD BOY!

NOW, STAY AT IT.
YOU MAY AMOUNT TO SOMETHING.
THANKS.

?? THE EARTH IS AGLOW
AND TO ADD TO THE SHOW ??

??
?? I THINK I AM FALLING IN LOVE

?? FALLING,
FALLING-- ????

[ Whispering ]
ABEL, DID YOU
SPEAK TO HIM?

[ Whispering ]
OF COURSE. HE SAYS
HE'S THROUGH WITH RACING.

HE'S DONE
WHAT HE'S WANTED TO.

THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT.

ABOUT WHAT HE WROTE
ON HIS CAR-- "EMILY."

HONEY, YOU'RE JUST
BUILDING SOMETHING UP.
THERE'S NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT.

OH, I TOOK CARE OF THAT.
I LAID DOWN THE LAW--
ONE, TWO, THREE.

I SAID, "WAYNE,
YOU TAKE YOUR SISTER
AROUND THE FAIR TONIGHT."

THAT'S TELLIN' HIM.

HOW DO I LOOK?
OH, JUST BEAUTIFUL,
DARLING.

[ Paper Rustling ]
DADDY?

DADDY!
JUST A MINUTE.
JUST A MINUTE.

OH, HERE IT IS.
IT SAYS HERE,

"217,000 VISITORS ARE EXPECTED
ON THE LAST DAY OF THE FAIR."

WELL, I JUST WANT
YOU TO KNOW THAT
OUT OF THE 217,000,

YOU'RE THE PRETTIEST
GIRL I EVER SAW.
[ Laughing ]

COME ON, CANDY-EYES.
LET'S GO.
DON'T MAKE IT LATE NOW.

WE WANT TO GET AN EARLY
START IN THE MORNING.
BYE-BYE, DARLING. HAVE FUN.

[ Big Tex ]
HURRY! HURRY!

YOU'LL LOVE
EVERY MINUTE.

YOU'LL HAVE THE TIME...

OF YOUR LIFE!

HEY, LOOK, MARGE.
UH, IF I GIVE YOU A LITTLE LOOT,

WOULD YOU KIND OF TAKE CARE
OF YOURSELF TONIGHT?

ONE, TWO, THREE.

OKAY? THREE DOLLARS?
YOU SURE THAT'S ENOUGH?

PLENTY. I WAS GONNA
OFFERYOUTWO DOLLARS.

[ Big Tex ]
HURRY! HURRY!

[ Grunts ]
GET ON YOUR DANCIN' SHOES!
YOU AND I ARE GOIN' TO THE FAIR.

OH, ABEL, PLEASE.
I'M SO TIRED, AND
I HAVEN'T CHANGED CLOTHES.

CAN'T WE JUST SIT AROUND
AND TALK ABOUT BLUEBOY?
HONEY, YOU'RE WRONG.

I'M A LOVER,
NOT A FARMER!
OH! [ Laughs ]

[ Big Tex ]
IT'S THE BIGGEST SHOW ON EARTH.
[ No Audible Dialogue ]

HI, EVERYBODY! COME IN.
EVERYBODY GOES TO A REAL SHOW.

THE BIGGEST SHOW
ON THE MIDWAY.

COME IN, EVERYBODY!
A TICKET OFFICE HERE,
A TICKET OFFICE THERE.

EVERYBODY HAS A TICKET.
COME RIGHT IN.
THE GREATEST SHOW--

STEP RIGHT UP AND GET YOUR
TEXAS BURGERS-- THE BIGGEST
HUNK OF MEAT IN THE WORLD!

[ Man ]
GET YOUR TICKETS FOR THE BIGGEST
MERRY-GO-ROUND IN THE WORLD!

THE BIGGEST THAT.

TEXAS HAS
THE BIGGEST EVERYTHING.

ABOUT ALL WE PROVE
IS THAT TEXAS HAS
THE BIGGEST LIARS.

?? DEEP IN THE HEART
OF YOU-KNOW-WHAT ??

?? IS THE BIGGEST ROSE
THAT GROWS ??

?? SIZE ISN'T WHAT
MY GIRL HAS GOT ??

?? BUT A ROSE IS A ROSE ??

?? IS A RO-O-OSE ??
SAY, THAT'S CUTE.

?? IT'S THE LITTLE THING
S IN TEXAS ??

?? I LOVE ??

?? THERE'S A GIRL WITH
A VERY SMALL WAIST ??

?
?? WHO GIVES ME
A VERY SMALL SQUEEZE ?

?? BUT, OH, HER HEAR
T IS BIG AS TEXAS ??

?? IT'S THE LITTLE THING
S IN TEXAS ??

?? I LOVE ??

?? WHEN WE GO FOR
A VERY SMALL WALK ??

?? OUR TALK IS
A VERY SMALL TALK ??

?? AND SOMEHOW WE DON'T
TALK OF TEXAS ??

?? THIS GIRL IS
FULL OF GRACES ??

?? SHE'S CUTE IN
ALL THE RIGHT PLACES ??

?? AND WHO NEEDS
GREAT BIG SPACES ??

WHEE!
?? I DREW FOUR ACES ??

?? ONE LITTLE THING
IN TEXAS ??

?? ADORES ME ??

?? AND IT'S THE LITTLE THINGS
IN TEXAS ??

?? I LOVE ??

?? IT'S THE LITTLE THINGS
IN TEXAS ??

?? I LOVE ??

?? WHEN THE NIGHT STARTS
A-COMIN' ALONG ??

?? A BIRD SINGS
A VERY SHORT SONG ??

?? AND NOTHING'S SWEETER
NORTH OF TEXAS ??

?? IT'S THE LITTLE THINGS
IN TEXAS ??
[ Coughs ]

?? I LOVE ??

?? THERE'S A MAN
WITH A VERY SMALL REACH ??

?? WHOSE HUG I CONSIDER
A PEACH ??

?? IN FACT, THE BEST
FROM MAINE TO TEXAS ??

??
?? THIS MAN IS NOT A FOSSIL

?? HE DOESN'T PUSH OR JOSTLE ??

??
?? HE'S DARLING, BUT NOT DOCILE

WHEE!
?? THE KID'S COLOSSAL ??

[ All ]
?? ONE LITTLE THING
IN TEXAS ??

?? ADORES ME ??

?? AND IT'S THE LITTLE THING
S IN TEXAS ??

?? THE LITTLE THINGS
IN TEXAS ??

?? THE LITTLE THINGS
IN TEXAS ??

?? I LOVE ????

[ Sighs ]

[ Knocking ]

[ Gasps ]
I WENT BY THE SHOW, EMILY.
THEY SAID YOU LEFT EARLY.

I'VE GOT A LOT OF PACKING
TO DO. A GIRL PICKS UP
A LOT OF TRINKETS.

[ Scoffs ]
I DON'T--
I DON'T GET THIS.

I'D JUST LIKE
AN EXPLANATION.
THAT'S ALL.

HERE. READ UP
ON OUR LOVE LIFE.

WHAT'S THIS?
IT'S A TIMETABLE.
RAILROADS PUT THEM OUT.

YOU MEAN YOU--
YOU'RE JUST LEAVING?

WITHOUT SAYING A WORD--
NOT A SINGLE WORD?

IS "GOOD-BYE"
ONE WORD OR TWO?

UH, I DON'T-- I DON'T
SUPPOSE YOU HAVE
A DRINK AROUND HERE?

WHAT WOULD YOU DO
WITH A DRINK?

EMILY, I-- I CAN'T
UNDERSTAND THIS.

JUST RUNNING OUT--
HOW-- HOW CAN YOU DO THAT?

LAST NIGHT,
THE TWO OF US--
LOOK AT ME!

LAST NIGHT, YOU SAID
EVERYTHING WAS WONDERFUL.

SO IS A MARTINI.
BUT SOONER OR LATER
YOU DRINK IT.

RIGHT NOW, BABY, YOU AND I
ARE DOWN TO THE TOOTHPICK.
EVEN THE OLIVE'S GONE.

WELL, WHAT DID YOU THINK
WAS GOING TO HAPPEN?

I WARNED YOU.
A FEW DAYS, A FEW NIGHTS--

THOSE ARE THE GROUND RULES.
YOU KNEW THAT FROM THE START.

BUT YOU CHANGED.
AFTER THAT, WE TALKED
ABOUT THE FARM...

AND HOW WE WERE ALWAYS
GONNA BE TOGETHER.

THIS TRUNK WON'T LET US.
DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND?

THERE ARE MORE THAN CLOTHES
IN THERE. OH, HONEY,
I'M IN THERE TOO.

READ THE LABELS--
LITTLE ROCK, AKRON,
SCRANTON, SPRINGFIELD.

THAT WOULDN'T LEAVE US MUCH TIME
FOR THE SOUTH 40 NOW, WOULD IT?
IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE THAT WAY.

WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?
JOIN THE SHOW? PLAY DRUMS?
PAINT SCENERY?

AH, DON'T BE A DAMN FOOL.

YOU DON'T KNOW
HOW LUCKY YOU ARE.

GO BACK TO-- WHAT'S HER NAME?
BETTY JEAN AND...

GROW CORN, ALFALFA,
WHATEVER--

IT'S WHEAT,
IF YOU DON'T MIND!
WHEAT THEN!

GROW LOTS OF IT AND--
AND LOTS OF BABIES TOO!
THAT'S WHAT YOU WANT, ISN'T IT?

ON TOP OF THAT,
YOU GET A BONUS.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO BUYBILLBOARD
THE REST OF YOUR LIFE
TO FIND OUT WHERE YOU ARE.

NOW JUST KISS ME
AND FORGET IT.

[ Sighs ]

[ Bangs ]
I DON'T BELIEVE THIS,
EMILY!

I WON'T BELIEVE THI--
NOT UNTIL I HEAR YOU SAY
YOU DON'T LOVE ME.

SWEAR IT.

SWEAR IT! I WANT
TO HEAR YOU SWEAR IT!

I WONDER IF THAT'S WHY
THEY PUT THESE IN HOTEL ROOMS.

SWEAR IT, EMILY. STAND THERE
AND SWEAR YOU DON'T LOVE ME.
DON'T!

I WISH TO HELL
YOU'D GET OUT OF HERE!

[ Crying ]
I SWEAR TO GOD!

[ Scoffs ]
WELL, THAT'S IT.

DON'T WORRY. I KNOW WHEN I'VE
BEEN HIT BY A SLEDGEHAMMER.
WAYNE? WAYNE?

HERE. MAY-- MAYBE
YOU SHOULD TAKE THIS.

YOU DON'T HAVE
TO SAY IT'S A RING.

JUST-- JUST SAY
IT'S A FOUR-LEAF CLOVER.

BYE, EMILY.

YOU KNOW, AFTER--

AFTER WHAT YOU SAID,

I GUESS THIS SOUNDS CRAZY,

BUT I SURE-- I SURE
WISH IT WAS DIFFERENT.

[ Door Closes ]

[ Door Closes ]

[ Sighs ]

???? [ Whistling ]

I SUPPOSE YOU THINK
I'VE BEEN DRINKING.

NOT UNTIL YOU MENTIONED IT.

[ Slurred ]
WELL, I'M HONEST.

THAT'S ONE THING
YOU GOTTA ADMIT--
I'M HONEST.

IT'S MORE THAN
SOME PEOPLE CAN SAY.

LIKE EMILY?

[ Inhales ]

IT WAS TERRIBLE, DAD.
[ Sobbing ]

IT GETS THAT WAY
ONCE IN A WHILE.
[ Sniffles ]

OH, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.
YOU'VE NEVER BEEN IN LOVE.
OF COURSE NOT.

BUT DON'T TELL YOUR MOTHER.
I'VE BEEN FOOLING HER
FOR CLOSE TO 30 YEARS.

THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEAN.

I MEAN,REALLYIN LOVE.

WELL, WE DIDN'T GET YOU
BY BEIN' CASUAL.

[ Sniffles ]
I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL.

ONCE, A LONG TIME AGO,
I RAN INTO A GIRL.

ABOUT LIKE YOURS,
I SUPPOSE.

SHE COULD SHAKE HANDS
WITH HER EYES.

[ Sighs ]

IT WAS WONDERFUL.

YEAH.

[ Straining ]
I KEPT SAYIN' TO MYSELF,

"I HOPE THIS NEVER ENDS.

I'LL DIE IF IT DOES."

BUT IT DID END ONE NIGHT,
WITH LIPSTICK
ALL OVER MY COLLAR.

AND I DIDN'T DIE--

[ Grunts ]
EVEN A LITTLE BIT.

I WAS GLAD IT WAS OVER.

UP.

SO YOU BE
GLAD TOO. HMM?

WHAT WAS HER NAME, DAD?

DAMN IF I REMEMBER.

IT WAS ON THE TIP
OF MY TONGUE
A FEW YEARS BACK.

I HAVEN'T EVEN
BEEN CLOSE SINCE.

DID SHE LOVE YOU?

I'VE OFTEN WONDERED.
[ Sighs ]

ONCE IN A WHILE,
WHEN I GET BLUE,

I TELL MYSELF
SHE MIGHT'VE.

UP.

OF COURSE,
I'D NEVER MENTION THIS
TO YOUR MOTHER.

JUST TO GET EVEN,
SHE MIGHT NOT IRON MY SHIRTS.

YOU KNOW, DAD,
I DON'T THINK I BETTER
TELL BETTY JEAN EITHER.

SHE'D DO THE SAME THING.
YEAH.
THEY'RE ALL ALIKE.

JUST THE SAME,
I'M NOT GONNA BE LIKE YOU.

I'LL NEVER FORGET
EMILY'S NAME.

YES, YOU WILL.

WE'RE ALL ALIKE TOO.

YOU MAY HATE YOURSELF
FOR DOIN' IT,

BUT YOU'LL FORGET.

YEAH, SIME.
LEAVIN' RIGHT NOW.

TELL DOC TO START
SPADIN' UP THE GARDEN.

HE OWES ME
FIVE DOLLARS.

SO LONG.

WELL, GEORGE, GOOD-BYE.

SEE YA NEXT YEAR.
SO LONG, ZSA ZSA.

CONGRATULATIONS, ABEL.
THANKS.

GOOD-BYE!
[ Abel ]
GOOD-BYE, ED!

[ Grunting ]

[ Grunting ]

GOOD-BYE!
[ Melissa ]
GOOD-BYE, GEORGE.

[ Grunting ]

[ Grunting ]

[ Abel ]
HI, SIME!
HI!

[ Melissa ] HI, DOC!
[ Abel Chuckles ]
HI, DOC. HOW ARE YOU?

[ Margy ] HI!
[ Abel ]
WELL, DOC,

DID YA HEAR
ABOUT BLUEBOY?
I HEARD.

YOU'RE A HOMELY OLD DEVIL.
[ Grunts ]

I'M SURPRISED HE'S NOT
A-RIDIN' IN THE FRONT SEAT.

DON'T BE SILLY.
HE TURNED US DOWN.

ABOUT THAT LITTLE BET
OF OURS, DOC,

I'LL TAKE IT IN DOLLARS,
QUARTERS, PENNIES--
ANYTHING THAT'S HANDY.

NOW, NOT SO FAST.
MELISSA--

SHE DO PRETTY GOOD
WITH HER MINCEMEAT?

GOOD? SHE PUT
ONE JUDGE IN ORBIT.

WON A PLAQUE TO BOOT.

DOC, I THINK THAT FIVE DOLLARS
HAS GONE TO SLEEP.

COULD YOU MAYBE GIVE IT
A LITTLE SHAKE?
NOW, HOLD IT.

MAYBE YOU WON A COUPLE
OF PRIZES, BUT THAT
AIN'T THE WHOLE BET.

NOBODY GOT SICK,
AND NOTHIN' BAD
HAPPENED TO ANY OF 'EM.

ONLY THING IS,
SOMETHING MIGHT'VE HAPPENED
WE DON'T KNOW ABOUT.

KIDS HAVE A GOOD TIME?
MARGY? WAYNE?

?? THAT'S FOR ME ??
HIYA, DOC, OLD BOY, OLD BOY!

GREAT GERTRUDE.
THAT LILAC WATER--
WHERE'S HE GET IT ALL?

I THINK THEY SHIP IT IN
BY TANKER.

HEY, DAD!
CAN I BORROW THE CAR?
GO AHEAD!

HE SEEMS ALL RIGHT.

HOW ABOUT YOU, MARGY?

HAVE A GOOD TIME
AT THE FAIR?
[ Phone Rings ]

BETTER ANSWER THAT, MARGY.
PROBABLY HARRY, FOR YOU.

[ Ringing Continues ]

WELL, GO ON, HONEY.
DON'T LET IT RING
ALL DAY. GO ON.

PLEASE, DOC.
WINTER'S COMIN' ON.

NOW, LET'S NOT GET
HASTY ABOUT THIS.

MARGY DIDN'T ANSWER ME.

[ Ringing Continues ]

HELLO.
[ Sighs ]

[ Jerry ]
MARGY, I'M HERE.
HERE IN BANNING?

OH, JERRY.
WHERE EXACTLY?

WELL, I'M IN THE CENTER
OF TOWN, I THINK.
I DON'T KNOW.

LOOK, ALL THOSE THINGS
I LAID ON YOU ABOUT
WHERE I WAS AND--

PLEASE, IT DOESN'T
MATTER, DARLING.

JUST POINT THE CAR
TOWARDS ELKINS DRY GOODS.
AND HURRY, DARLING.

OKAY. OKAY.

MARGY, YOU DIDN'T
ANSWER MY QUESTION.

DID YOU HAVE A GOOD TIME
AT THE FAIR?
OH, YES. YES!

IT WAS THE MOST WONDERFUL FAIR
IN THE WHOLE WORLD.

SO PAY DADDY HIS WONDERFUL
FIVE DOLLARS.

WHERE IN THE WORLD
IS SHE GOING?

DOWN THE WONDERFUL ROAD,
I RECKON.

THE ODDS ARE SURE
CHANGIN' ON PEOPLE.

I SHOULD'VE WON
THAT BET.
[ Chuckles ]

JERRY, STOP!

[ Chorus ]
?? OUR STATE FAIR
IS A GREAT STATE FAIR ??

?? DON'T MISS IT
DON'T EVEN BE LATE ??

?? IT'S DOLLARS TO DOUGHNUTS
THAT OUR STATE FAIR ??

?? IS THE BEST STATE FAIR ??

?? IN OUR STATE ????

[ Chorus ] ?? IT'S A GRAND NIGHT
FOR SINGING ??
[ No Audible Singing ]

?? THE STARS ARE BRIGHT ABOVE ??

?? THE EARTH IS AGLOW
AND TO ADD TO THE SHOW ??

?? I THINK I AM FALLING IN LOVE
??

?? FALLING, FALLING ??

?? IN LOVE ????