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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:08,080 --> 00:00:10,080 ["Bobby Reid" plays] 2 00:00:20,120 --> 00:00:22,720 ♪ There's blood in the water ♪ 3 00:00:22,800 --> 00:00:25,880 ♪ Won't you cut me down? ♪ 4 00:00:26,680 --> 00:00:29,120 ♪ 'Cause people keep on calling ♪ 5 00:00:29,200 --> 00:00:31,880 ♪ Won't you cut me down? ♪ 6 00:00:32,320 --> 00:00:34,840 ♪ Bobby Reid, won't you please ♪ 7 00:00:35,360 --> 00:00:37,160 ♪ Cut me down? ♪ 8 00:01:01,640 --> 00:01:02,880 Thank you very much. 9 00:01:04,400 --> 00:01:07,240 Thank you. Might've peaked a bit early, but... 10 00:01:09,960 --> 00:01:11,640 Welcome to my show. 11 00:01:12,240 --> 00:01:14,080 My show is called Nanette. 12 00:01:14,760 --> 00:01:17,040 And the reason my show is called Nanette, 13 00:01:17,120 --> 00:01:19,920 is because I named it before I wrote it. 14 00:01:21,520 --> 00:01:25,720 I named it at around the time I'd met a woman called Nanette... 15 00:01:27,360 --> 00:01:29,200 who I thought was very interesting. 16 00:01:29,800 --> 00:01:32,840 So interesting. "Nanette," I thought, "I reckon I can squeeze 17 00:01:32,920 --> 00:01:35,640 a good hour of laughs out of you, Nanette, I reckon." 18 00:01:36,720 --> 00:01:37,760 But... 19 00:01:38,600 --> 00:01:39,600 turns out... 20 00:01:40,160 --> 00:01:41,000 no. 21 00:01:43,800 --> 00:01:46,200 I met her in a small-town café. 22 00:01:46,760 --> 00:01:51,200 Now, I feel... I don't feel comfortable in a small town. I get a bit tense. 23 00:01:51,680 --> 00:01:53,680 Mainly because I am this situation. 24 00:01:54,720 --> 00:01:57,760 And in a small town, that's all right from a distance. 25 00:01:58,800 --> 00:02:01,120 People are like, "Oh, good bloke!" And then... 26 00:02:02,880 --> 00:02:06,800 get a bit closer and it's like, "Oh no! Trickster woman, what are you doing?" 27 00:02:09,360 --> 00:02:10,600 I get a lot of side-eye. 28 00:02:12,360 --> 00:02:15,000 So I feel quite tense in a small town. 29 00:02:15,560 --> 00:02:18,360 Now, I'm from a small town, a very small town in... 30 00:02:18,440 --> 00:02:19,560 I'm from Tasmania. 31 00:02:19,640 --> 00:02:23,000 Now, of course, Tasmania is that little island 32 00:02:23,080 --> 00:02:25,400 floating off the... arse end 33 00:02:25,920 --> 00:02:27,920 of mainland Australia there, just... 34 00:02:29,400 --> 00:02:31,280 Lovely place. 35 00:02:31,360 --> 00:02:33,360 Famous for a lot of things. 36 00:02:34,200 --> 00:02:36,120 Potatoes. Very... 37 00:02:37,040 --> 00:02:40,200 And our frighteningly small gene pool. That's... 38 00:02:43,240 --> 00:02:44,720 I wish I was joking. 39 00:02:46,480 --> 00:02:48,640 But I am very partial to the potato. 40 00:02:50,120 --> 00:02:52,640 Very versatile... vegetable. 41 00:02:54,080 --> 00:02:56,840 And not all the branches go directly away from the trunk 42 00:02:56,920 --> 00:02:58,840 in our family tree, I will admit. 43 00:03:00,960 --> 00:03:04,120 It's a bit... topiary. But... 44 00:03:06,640 --> 00:03:07,920 I love Tasmania. 45 00:03:08,000 --> 00:03:11,640 I loved growing up there. I felt right at home, I did. 46 00:03:11,720 --> 00:03:13,480 But I had to leave 47 00:03:13,560 --> 00:03:16,280 as soon as I found out I was a little bit lesbian. 48 00:03:17,960 --> 00:03:20,240 And you do find out, don't you? Yeah. 49 00:03:21,120 --> 00:03:22,240 I got a letter. 50 00:03:25,480 --> 00:03:26,840 "Dear Sir/Madam." 51 00:03:32,160 --> 00:03:37,120 Wasn't a great letter to receive in mid-'90s Tasmania. 52 00:03:37,920 --> 00:03:41,480 Because the wisdom of the day was if you chose to be gay... 53 00:03:42,680 --> 00:03:46,120 I say "wisdom", even though homosexuality's clearly not a choice. 54 00:03:46,960 --> 00:03:49,120 Wisdom is always relative, you know. 55 00:03:49,200 --> 00:03:54,280 And in a place like Tasmania, everything's very relative, but I... 56 00:03:57,040 --> 00:04:00,760 But the wisdom of the day was that, if you chose to be gay, 57 00:04:00,840 --> 00:04:04,280 then you should just get yourself a one-way ticket to the mainland, 58 00:04:04,360 --> 00:04:05,760 and don't come back. 59 00:04:06,600 --> 00:04:11,120 Gays... why don't you just pack your AIDS up into a suitcase there 60 00:04:11,200 --> 00:04:13,200 and fuck off to Mardi Gras? 61 00:04:15,960 --> 00:04:18,800 Because homosexuality was a crime 62 00:04:18,880 --> 00:04:21,920 in Tasmania 'til 1997. 63 00:04:22,640 --> 00:04:24,120 Not long enough ago. 64 00:04:26,520 --> 00:04:29,600 And I took a long time to come to terms with my sexuality. 65 00:04:30,520 --> 00:04:32,360 There's a few reasons for that. 66 00:04:32,960 --> 00:04:35,080 A lot of it has to do with bad press. 67 00:04:36,920 --> 00:04:40,560 Yeah, they didn't get a good rap when I was growing up, the homosexuals. 68 00:04:42,680 --> 00:04:45,480 We didn't have social media like we do now, but... 69 00:04:46,560 --> 00:04:48,680 "Letters to the Editor," let me tell you. 70 00:04:49,520 --> 00:04:51,520 Slow Twitter. Brutal. 71 00:04:55,120 --> 00:04:59,320 But in all the debate about... homosexuality... 72 00:05:00,400 --> 00:05:03,440 no one ever really talked about the lesbians. 73 00:05:04,200 --> 00:05:07,320 You know? It was all the gay men. They're the problem! 74 00:05:07,920 --> 00:05:10,320 Anal sex. That's when the devil will get you! 75 00:05:12,440 --> 00:05:14,520 But lesbians, they're like, "No... 76 00:05:16,200 --> 00:05:18,680 What even are they? What they do, though, really? 77 00:05:23,120 --> 00:05:26,080 Do they even exist if no one's watching, really? 78 00:05:28,800 --> 00:05:31,720 No, don't worry about them. No harm in a cuddle." 79 00:05:37,240 --> 00:05:41,640 For a long time, I knew more facts about unicorns than I did about lesbians. 80 00:05:42,520 --> 00:05:47,480 Another reason I struggled with-- There are no facts about unicorns. 81 00:05:50,360 --> 00:05:53,800 Another reason I struggled to identify as gay was 82 00:05:54,320 --> 00:05:57,600 the Sydney Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras. Precisely that. 83 00:05:57,840 --> 00:06:01,240 The Mardi Gras was my first introduction to my people. 84 00:06:02,600 --> 00:06:06,080 I watched it on... my TV 85 00:06:06,160 --> 00:06:08,600 in my little living room in my small town. 86 00:06:08,680 --> 00:06:12,040 That was my first introduction to my people. The Mardi Gras. 87 00:06:12,520 --> 00:06:17,960 My people... flaunting their lifestyle in a parade! 88 00:06:18,440 --> 00:06:21,120 I used to watch it, going, "There they are, my people. 89 00:06:23,840 --> 00:06:25,320 They're busy, aren't they? 90 00:06:27,920 --> 00:06:31,000 Gosh. Don't they love to dance and party?" 91 00:06:32,920 --> 00:06:38,400 I used to sit there and watch it and go, "Where... where do the quiet gays... go? 92 00:06:39,200 --> 00:06:42,720 Where are the quiet gays supposed to go?" 93 00:06:44,240 --> 00:06:45,360 I still do. 94 00:06:47,640 --> 00:06:48,880 I'm just like... 95 00:06:49,920 --> 00:06:51,520 the pressure on my people 96 00:06:52,440 --> 00:06:56,440 to express our identity and pride through the metaphor of party 97 00:06:56,520 --> 00:06:58,160 is very intense. 98 00:06:59,560 --> 00:07:02,360 Don't get me wrong, I love the spectacle, I really do, 99 00:07:02,440 --> 00:07:05,640 but I've never felt compelled to get amongst it. 100 00:07:05,720 --> 00:07:07,480 Do you know? I'm a quiet soul. 101 00:07:08,000 --> 00:07:12,080 My favorite sound in the whole world is the sound of a teacup finding its place 102 00:07:12,160 --> 00:07:13,280 on a saucer. 103 00:07:16,400 --> 00:07:20,200 Oh, it's very, very difficult to flaunt that lifestyle in a parade. 104 00:07:26,280 --> 00:07:27,840 I don't even like the flag. 105 00:07:29,640 --> 00:07:30,760 Controversial! 106 00:07:32,400 --> 00:07:34,200 But there, I've said it. Now... 107 00:07:34,840 --> 00:07:37,760 the Pride flag, now, I love what it means, that is perfect. 108 00:07:37,840 --> 00:07:39,320 Pride. Wonderful. 109 00:07:40,000 --> 00:07:42,320 But the flag itself? Bit busy. 110 00:07:44,640 --> 00:07:47,600 It's just six very shouty, assertive colors, 111 00:07:47,680 --> 00:07:50,480 stacked on top of each other, no rest for the eye. 112 00:07:52,800 --> 00:07:54,800 An afternoon of that waving in my face, 113 00:07:54,880 --> 00:07:57,840 I need to express my identity through the metaphor of a nap. 114 00:08:02,640 --> 00:08:03,960 I don't... 115 00:08:04,520 --> 00:08:06,280 I don't think I'm very good at gay. 116 00:08:08,000 --> 00:08:10,520 I'm not the only who thinks that. I've... 117 00:08:11,840 --> 00:08:15,880 I've been getting a bit of negative feedback of late from my people, 118 00:08:15,960 --> 00:08:17,200 the lesbians. 119 00:08:18,120 --> 00:08:19,800 Bit of negative feedback. 120 00:08:20,680 --> 00:08:24,360 'Cause, gosh, don't my people love the feedback. Not... 121 00:08:26,000 --> 00:08:27,320 Not shy! 122 00:08:28,440 --> 00:08:32,080 Not shy with the feedback. One of our spokespeople last year... 123 00:08:32,400 --> 00:08:33,480 Self-appointed. 124 00:08:36,680 --> 00:08:40,280 One of our spokespeople approached me straight after one of my shows 125 00:08:40,640 --> 00:08:44,240 to give me a bit of feedback, and that's my favorite time for feedback. 126 00:08:45,720 --> 00:08:47,880 Straight after a show? Yes, please! 127 00:08:49,600 --> 00:08:52,240 That is when my skin is at its thickest. 128 00:08:54,800 --> 00:08:57,200 The feedback? Apparently, she said, 129 00:08:57,600 --> 00:09:00,440 "I was very disappointed in your show this year, Hannah. 130 00:09:02,240 --> 00:09:04,920 I just don't think there was enough lesbian content." 131 00:09:11,720 --> 00:09:14,280 I'd been on stage the whole time. 132 00:09:20,320 --> 00:09:24,080 I didn't... even straighten up halfway through, you know? 133 00:09:29,400 --> 00:09:32,040 Perhaps I've been slacking off a bit. 134 00:09:32,120 --> 00:09:34,720 When I first started... the comedy, 135 00:09:35,160 --> 00:09:38,080 over a decade ago, always, nothing but. 136 00:09:38,760 --> 00:09:41,120 Nothing but lesbian content. Wall to wall. 137 00:09:41,200 --> 00:09:46,120 My first ever show...  was classic new gay comic 101. My coming out story. 138 00:09:46,200 --> 00:09:48,840 I told lots of cool jokes about homophobia. 139 00:09:48,920 --> 00:09:51,080 Really solved... that problem. 140 00:09:52,800 --> 00:09:53,640 Tick. 141 00:09:56,800 --> 00:10:01,920 I told... a story about the time this young man had almost beaten me up 142 00:10:02,000 --> 00:10:03,080 because he thought... 143 00:10:03,480 --> 00:10:06,320 I mean, he thought I was cracking on to his girlfriend. 144 00:10:06,400 --> 00:10:10,560 Actually, that bit was true, got that right, but.... there was a twist. 145 00:10:10,640 --> 00:10:13,320 It happened late at night, it was at the bus stop. 146 00:10:13,400 --> 00:10:15,760 The pub had closed, it was the last bus home, 147 00:10:15,840 --> 00:10:19,600 and I was waiting at the bus stop. And I was talking to a girl, and... 148 00:10:20,400 --> 00:10:23,880 you know, you could say flirting. I don't know. 149 00:10:24,440 --> 00:10:28,880 And... out of nowhere, he just comes up and starts shoving me, going, 150 00:10:28,960 --> 00:10:30,640 "Fuck off, you fucking faggot!" 151 00:10:31,080 --> 00:10:34,200 And he goes, "Keep away from my girlfriend, you fucking freak!" 152 00:10:34,280 --> 00:10:38,560 And she's just stepped in, going, "Whoa, stop it! It's a girl!" 153 00:10:39,000 --> 00:10:40,560 And he's gone, "Oh, sorry." 154 00:10:44,000 --> 00:10:47,040 He said, "Oh, I'm so sorry. I don't hit women," he said. 155 00:10:47,880 --> 00:10:48,960 What a guy! 156 00:10:51,520 --> 00:10:52,600 "I don't hit women." 157 00:10:53,400 --> 00:10:54,960 How about you don't hit anyone? 158 00:10:55,440 --> 00:10:58,480 Good rule of thumb. And he goes, "Sorry, I got confused. 159 00:10:58,560 --> 00:11:00,480 I thought you were a fucking faggot... 160 00:11:01,720 --> 00:11:03,640 trying to crack on to my girlfriend." 161 00:11:11,720 --> 00:11:16,040 Now I understand I have a responsibility to help lead people out of ignorance 162 00:11:16,120 --> 00:11:19,440 at every opportunity I can, but I left him there, people. 163 00:11:22,280 --> 00:11:23,400 Safety first. 164 00:11:25,920 --> 00:11:29,000 The main part, the centerpiece, of that show, 165 00:11:29,080 --> 00:11:31,560 was coming out to my family, and particularly my mom. 166 00:11:32,000 --> 00:11:36,400 Because my mom is very funny. She lives a comedy better than I can ever write it. 167 00:11:37,480 --> 00:11:39,200 Her response to me coming out, 168 00:11:39,280 --> 00:11:41,120 when I told her I was a little bit lesbian... 169 00:11:42,200 --> 00:11:43,200 Baby steps. 170 00:11:44,960 --> 00:11:49,880 Her response... was this. She's just gone,"Oh, Hannah. 171 00:11:52,840 --> 00:11:56,920 Why did you have to tell me that? 172 00:11:57,320 --> 00:12:01,160 That's not something I need to know. 173 00:12:02,840 --> 00:12:06,920 I mean, what if I told you I was a murderer?" 174 00:12:10,240 --> 00:12:11,320 It's still funny. 175 00:12:14,400 --> 00:12:16,440 And it's a fair call. Murderer. 176 00:12:17,200 --> 00:12:18,280 Murderer. 177 00:12:18,680 --> 00:12:20,400 You would hope that's a phase. 178 00:12:26,480 --> 00:12:27,560 Real jokes. 179 00:12:29,400 --> 00:12:32,560 But I reckon I've been slacking off in recent years 180 00:12:33,320 --> 00:12:35,200 with my lesbian content. 181 00:12:35,280 --> 00:12:38,000 I don't think I've been representing my people 182 00:12:38,080 --> 00:12:39,800 as much as I should be. 183 00:12:39,880 --> 00:12:43,600 You know, last year, my grandma asked me if I had a boyfriend. 184 00:12:45,520 --> 00:12:47,880 And I realized, in that moment, 185 00:12:47,960 --> 00:12:50,200 that I'd... quite forgotten... 186 00:12:51,720 --> 00:12:53,040 to come out to Grandma. 187 00:12:55,200 --> 00:12:56,240 I thought I'd... 188 00:13:01,280 --> 00:13:03,560 I remember it being on my to-do list. 189 00:13:05,680 --> 00:13:09,120 I thought, "I'll wait till it comes up in conversation." 190 00:13:09,960 --> 00:13:11,280 But it never does. 191 00:13:11,800 --> 00:13:13,160 But finally it did. 192 00:13:13,800 --> 00:13:15,800 But I did not take the opportunity! 193 00:13:17,320 --> 00:13:20,400 No, I deflected it like a real man. 194 00:13:22,280 --> 00:13:24,120 I said, "No... 195 00:13:27,800 --> 00:13:29,160 No, Grandma. 196 00:13:29,800 --> 00:13:32,800 No, I don't have time for boyfriends." 197 00:13:35,120 --> 00:13:36,000 Plural. 198 00:13:38,960 --> 00:13:41,920 Confident, wasn't I? "But if I had time, heaps!" 199 00:13:45,680 --> 00:13:47,800 And she said, "Ah, well, you never know. 200 00:13:49,760 --> 00:13:52,920 One day you might walk around the corner, and there he'll be!" 201 00:13:53,440 --> 00:13:55,520 "Mr. Right," she called him. 202 00:13:56,320 --> 00:14:00,480 And I have been approaching every corner with caution 203 00:14:01,400 --> 00:14:02,400 since then. 204 00:14:04,160 --> 00:14:07,240 No offense to Mr. Right, if you are out there. 205 00:14:07,920 --> 00:14:10,720 But you're also Mr. Very Very Too Late. 206 00:14:11,960 --> 00:14:15,600 'Cause I've done quite a lot of work on this lesbian situation here 207 00:14:15,680 --> 00:14:19,240 and I don't imagine I've got a tight turning circle on identity. 208 00:14:20,560 --> 00:14:21,960 Imagine the feedback. 209 00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:29,440 Not enough lesbian content. 210 00:14:30,760 --> 00:14:33,240 Do you know what I reckon my problem is? 211 00:14:34,040 --> 00:14:35,520 I don't lesbian enough. 212 00:14:37,440 --> 00:14:40,280 Not in the scheme of my existence. Not a lot. 213 00:14:41,120 --> 00:14:42,640 I mean, I keep my hand in. 214 00:14:47,280 --> 00:14:49,120 Bit of lesbian content there. 215 00:14:50,760 --> 00:14:52,520 I'll be sprinkling it throughout the show. 216 00:14:55,000 --> 00:14:57,680 Keep your feedback forms to yourselves. 217 00:14:59,160 --> 00:15:03,040 No, I mean, if you were to plot my week, I don't... Not a lot. 218 00:15:03,480 --> 00:15:06,880 Not a lot of lesbian-ing... gets done. 219 00:15:06,960 --> 00:15:11,080 I cook dinner more. I cook dinner way more than I lesbian. 220 00:15:11,160 --> 00:15:15,040 But nobody every introduces me as "that chef comedian," do they? 221 00:15:19,920 --> 00:15:22,040 Not enough lesbian content. 222 00:15:23,240 --> 00:15:24,880 I should quit. I'm a disgrace. 223 00:15:25,600 --> 00:15:29,400 What sort of comedian can't even make the lesbians laugh? 224 00:15:31,880 --> 00:15:33,880 Every comedian ever. 225 00:15:36,400 --> 00:15:39,480 That's a good joke, isn't it? Classic. 226 00:15:39,560 --> 00:15:40,920 It's bulletproof, too. 227 00:15:41,560 --> 00:15:44,080 Very clever, because it's funny... 228 00:15:44,680 --> 00:15:46,160 because it's true. 229 00:15:46,960 --> 00:15:50,120 The only people who don't think it's funny... are us lezzers... 230 00:15:51,080 --> 00:15:53,840 But we've got to laugh... because if we don't... 231 00:15:54,440 --> 00:15:55,600 proves the point. 232 00:15:57,400 --> 00:15:58,560 Checkmate. 233 00:15:59,520 --> 00:16:00,640 Very clever joke. 234 00:16:01,800 --> 00:16:03,880 I didn't write that. That is not my joke. 235 00:16:04,640 --> 00:16:07,560 It's an old...  An oldie. Oldie but a goldie. A classic. 236 00:16:07,640 --> 00:16:10,880 It was written, you know, well before even women were funny. 237 00:16:13,680 --> 00:16:16,480 And back then, in the good old days, 238 00:16:16,560 --> 00:16:19,280 lesbian meant something different than it does now. 239 00:16:19,360 --> 00:16:21,920 Back then, lesbian wasn't about sexuality, 240 00:16:22,000 --> 00:16:24,960 a lesbian was just any woman not laughing at a man. 241 00:16:28,080 --> 00:16:32,480 "Why aren't you laughing? What are you? Some kind of lesbian?" Classic. 242 00:16:34,480 --> 00:16:38,720 "Go on. You gotta laugh. Lighten up. Stop taking everything so seriously! 243 00:16:38,800 --> 00:16:41,920 Fucking learn to take a joke. You need to lighten up. 244 00:16:43,880 --> 00:16:47,120 I'll tell you what you need to lighten up. You need a good dicking. 245 00:16:47,200 --> 00:16:49,920 Get a cock up you! Drink some jizz! You know?" 246 00:16:50,960 --> 00:16:52,320 Actual advice? 247 00:16:54,040 --> 00:16:55,280 It's counterproductive. 248 00:16:57,360 --> 00:16:59,600 I do think I have to quit comedy though. 249 00:17:00,560 --> 00:17:03,600 And seriously. I know it's probably not the forum... 250 00:17:03,680 --> 00:17:05,880 to make such an announcement, is it? 251 00:17:07,520 --> 00:17:10,400 In the middle of a comedy show. But I have been questioning... 252 00:17:10,480 --> 00:17:12,360 you know, this whole comedy thing. 253 00:17:12,440 --> 00:17:14,840 I don't feel very comfortable in it anymore. 254 00:17:16,040 --> 00:17:19,800 You know... over the past year, I've been questioning it, and reassessing. 255 00:17:19,880 --> 00:17:23,080 And I think it's healthy for an adult human to take stock, 256 00:17:23,160 --> 00:17:24,680 pause and reassess. 257 00:17:25,200 --> 00:17:28,840 And when I first started doing the comedy, over a decade ago, 258 00:17:30,000 --> 00:17:32,040 my favorite comedian was Bill Cosby. 259 00:17:34,360 --> 00:17:37,760 There you go. It's very healthy to reassess, isn't it? 260 00:17:40,080 --> 00:17:43,680 And I built a career out of self-deprecating humor. 261 00:17:43,760 --> 00:17:45,760 That's what I've built my career on. 262 00:17:46,200 --> 00:17:48,720 And... I don't want to do that anymore. 263 00:17:49,640 --> 00:17:51,160 Because, do you understand... 264 00:17:51,240 --> 00:17:53,240 [audience applauds] 265 00:17:55,320 --> 00:17:57,960 ...do you understand what self-deprecation means 266 00:17:58,040 --> 00:18:01,120 when it comes from somebody who already exists in the margins? 267 00:18:01,920 --> 00:18:03,920 It's not humility. 268 00:18:04,800 --> 00:18:06,440 It's humiliation. 269 00:18:06,960 --> 00:18:10,080 I put myself down in order to speak, 270 00:18:10,160 --> 00:18:12,920 in order to seek permission... to speak. 271 00:18:13,560 --> 00:18:15,760 And I simply will not do that anymore. 272 00:18:15,840 --> 00:18:19,120 Not to myself or anybody who identifies with me. 273 00:18:19,200 --> 00:18:24,480 [audience cheers] 274 00:18:28,600 --> 00:18:33,200 And if that means that my comedy career is over, then so be it. 275 00:18:33,920 --> 00:18:36,880 I got a letter... on Facebook recently. 276 00:18:37,440 --> 00:18:41,240 And I say "letter," 'cause I'm very bold. Controversial. 277 00:18:42,240 --> 00:18:45,360 But I call it a letter, because it said, 278 00:18:46,080 --> 00:18:48,760 "Dear Hannah," comma, new line... 279 00:18:50,680 --> 00:18:51,960 Bit of feedback. 280 00:18:54,840 --> 00:18:58,280 And it said, "You owe it to your community 281 00:18:59,720 --> 00:19:01,760 to come out as transgender." 282 00:19:03,360 --> 00:19:06,560 All jokes aside, I really do want to do my best by my community. 283 00:19:06,640 --> 00:19:09,840 I really do. But that was new information to me. 284 00:19:10,360 --> 00:19:11,480 I'm not... 285 00:19:11,960 --> 00:19:14,520 I don't identify as transgender. I don't. 286 00:19:14,600 --> 00:19:17,480 I mean, I'm clearly "gender not normal," but... 287 00:19:18,400 --> 00:19:22,080 I don't think even lesbian is the right identity fit for me, 288 00:19:22,160 --> 00:19:24,200 I really don't. I may as well come out now. 289 00:19:24,880 --> 00:19:27,360 I identify... as tired. 290 00:19:28,800 --> 00:19:30,760 I'm just tired. 291 00:19:35,360 --> 00:19:38,800 There is too much hysteria around gender 292 00:19:39,720 --> 00:19:41,360 from you gender-normals. 293 00:19:42,000 --> 00:19:45,320 You're the weirdos. You're a bit fucking hysterical. 294 00:19:45,400 --> 00:19:49,520 You're a bit weird, a bit uptight. You need to get a grip. You gender-normals... 295 00:19:50,720 --> 00:19:52,800 Seriously, calm down, gender-normals. 296 00:19:54,120 --> 00:19:55,120 Get a grip. 297 00:19:55,520 --> 00:19:58,040 "No, a man in a dress, that's fucking weird!" 298 00:19:58,120 --> 00:20:01,840 No, it's not. You know what's weird? Pink headbands on bald babies! 299 00:20:06,640 --> 00:20:07,880 That's weird. 300 00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:11,760 I mean, seriously, would you put a bangle on a potato? 301 00:20:14,560 --> 00:20:17,160 No, that's organic. I paid a lot for that potato. 302 00:20:19,160 --> 00:20:23,000 Of course I understand why parents do it. Clearly they're sick and tired... 303 00:20:23,760 --> 00:20:25,400 of their beautiful baby girl... 304 00:20:25,880 --> 00:20:28,360 being mistaken for a boy baby 305 00:20:28,440 --> 00:20:31,480 because of the no hair situation. I understand that. 306 00:20:31,560 --> 00:20:35,400 But the thing is, I don't assume bald babies are boys. 307 00:20:36,320 --> 00:20:39,560 I assume they're angry feminists, and I treat them with respect. 308 00:20:48,240 --> 00:20:49,240 How about this? 309 00:20:49,320 --> 00:20:53,840 How about we stop separating the children into opposing teams from day dot? 310 00:20:53,920 --> 00:20:57,880 How about we give them, I dunno, seven to ten years to consider themselves... 311 00:20:58,320 --> 00:20:59,760 on the same side? 312 00:21:01,520 --> 00:21:05,320 Did you know human men and human women have more in common... 313 00:21:05,880 --> 00:21:08,240 than they don't? Did you know that? 314 00:21:08,320 --> 00:21:12,760 I don't think many people do know that because we always focus on the difference. 315 00:21:13,280 --> 00:21:15,240 The difference between men and women. 316 00:21:17,480 --> 00:21:20,440 They're very different. Now, dogs are heaps different to... 317 00:21:24,240 --> 00:21:27,720 "Men and women are very different. We're from different planets!" 318 00:21:28,600 --> 00:21:31,720 Men are from Mars, and women are for his penis. 319 00:21:35,760 --> 00:21:39,240 Here's an idea. I say we get rid of pink and give all the babies blue. 320 00:21:39,800 --> 00:21:44,920 I've thought about this and it's not because blue is a masculine color. 321 00:21:45,000 --> 00:21:47,640 'Cause that... is false. 322 00:21:48,600 --> 00:21:51,560 I love that people go, "Blue, yeah, a very masculine color. 323 00:21:52,200 --> 00:21:53,280 Very reliable. 324 00:21:53,800 --> 00:21:55,360 Very rational color, blue. 325 00:21:56,000 --> 00:21:57,480 Yeah, you can trust blue. 326 00:21:58,480 --> 00:22:00,080 It's why we've got it on flags. 327 00:22:00,800 --> 00:22:04,400 Lot of blue on flags. Navy blue. Everyone trusts a boat." 328 00:22:07,360 --> 00:22:09,320 Blue, if anything, is a feminine color. 329 00:22:09,840 --> 00:22:12,400 It really is full of contradictions. 330 00:22:12,880 --> 00:22:16,440 You know, blue is a cold color. It's on the cold end of the spectrum. 331 00:22:16,520 --> 00:22:18,280 But the hottest part of the flame? 332 00:22:18,920 --> 00:22:19,760 Blue. 333 00:22:21,720 --> 00:22:23,120 If you're feeling blue... 334 00:22:23,840 --> 00:22:24,840 you're sad. 335 00:22:25,360 --> 00:22:27,600 But optimism? Blue skies ahead! 336 00:22:30,040 --> 00:22:31,320 Make up your mind. 337 00:22:33,120 --> 00:22:34,240 A blueprint is a plan, 338 00:22:34,320 --> 00:22:37,720 but if something happens not on the plan, where does that come from? 339 00:22:37,800 --> 00:22:39,040 Out of the blue! 340 00:22:43,280 --> 00:22:45,720 Blue's a wonderful color to start life with. 341 00:22:45,800 --> 00:22:48,440 There's room for every kind of human in blue. 342 00:22:48,520 --> 00:22:51,240 There's a whole spectrum, 'cause blue doesn't demand... 343 00:22:51,600 --> 00:22:54,120 it doesn't demand action like all the other colors. 344 00:22:55,280 --> 00:22:56,400 Think about this. 345 00:22:56,480 --> 00:22:58,000 You're stuck in traffic... 346 00:22:58,480 --> 00:22:59,680 and the lights turn... 347 00:23:00,440 --> 00:23:01,280 blue. 348 00:23:02,640 --> 00:23:05,520 Less road rage, people. Less road rage. 349 00:23:05,600 --> 00:23:07,800 More accidents, ironically enough. 350 00:23:11,120 --> 00:23:13,640 I get mistaken for a man quite a lot. 351 00:23:14,080 --> 00:23:15,440 But not for long. 352 00:23:17,680 --> 00:23:21,600 My masculinity doesn't hold up to scrutiny. I'm only a man at a glance. 353 00:23:23,000 --> 00:23:26,240 Which means it happens in a customer service situation, usually. 354 00:23:26,320 --> 00:23:30,840 Because I'm only a man at a glance, it means I'm very much right there still. 355 00:23:31,600 --> 00:23:34,480 Right in front of the person who's just called me "sir"... 356 00:23:35,280 --> 00:23:36,760 and deeply regrets it. 357 00:23:38,640 --> 00:23:42,240 The really good ones just erase my memory of being called "sir." 358 00:23:42,320 --> 00:23:45,840 They're clever. It's a clever trick. They do that with a combination... 359 00:23:46,680 --> 00:23:48,960 of hypnosis, and the magic word. 360 00:23:50,040 --> 00:23:51,680 They go, "Can I help you, sir? 361 00:23:52,280 --> 00:23:53,160 Madam." 362 00:23:56,800 --> 00:23:58,000 And it works. 363 00:23:58,600 --> 00:23:59,440 Gone. 364 00:23:59,520 --> 00:24:02,760 I do not remember being called "sir" if someone calls me "madam" 365 00:24:02,840 --> 00:24:04,080 immediately after. 366 00:24:05,320 --> 00:24:08,240 Because "madam" is a very triggering word for me. 367 00:24:09,680 --> 00:24:13,320 It is. It's what my mom used to call me when I was in a lot of trouble... 368 00:24:14,400 --> 00:24:15,720 for opening a brothel. 369 00:24:17,600 --> 00:24:19,120 Can we just have more words? 370 00:24:20,560 --> 00:24:22,360 It's the apology I don't understand, 371 00:24:22,440 --> 00:24:25,200 when people apologize for mistaking me for a man. 372 00:24:25,280 --> 00:24:28,880 I got it on a flight recently. Walking on, the cabin manager, 373 00:24:29,280 --> 00:24:30,680 "Welcome aboard, sir. 374 00:24:30,760 --> 00:24:32,320 Oh, madam, I'm so sorry. 375 00:24:32,400 --> 00:24:34,000 I'm so sorry. I'm sorry." 376 00:24:34,080 --> 00:24:35,320 I was like, "It's okay! 377 00:24:36,600 --> 00:24:39,840 It's not like you called a man 'madam'. That could have been..." 378 00:24:40,640 --> 00:24:44,360 So I said, "Don't worry." She said, "I'm so sorry." 379 00:24:44,440 --> 00:24:48,360 I said, "Don't apologize. In fact, I should thank you. I enjoyed it. 380 00:24:48,440 --> 00:24:52,360 Thank you. Never apologize. Don't apologize. 381 00:24:52,760 --> 00:24:55,240 Look, I don't identify as transgender, 382 00:24:55,320 --> 00:24:57,120 but I'm partial to a holiday. 383 00:24:59,280 --> 00:25:02,600 I love being mistaken for a man, 'cause just for a few moments, 384 00:25:02,680 --> 00:25:04,520 life gets a hell of a lot easier. 385 00:25:04,600 --> 00:25:08,680 I'm top-shelf normal, king of the humans. I'm a straight white man. 386 00:25:12,160 --> 00:25:13,000 I'm about... 387 00:25:13,880 --> 00:25:16,760 I'm about to get good service for no fucking effort! 388 00:25:17,720 --> 00:25:22,400 Do not apologize. I was going to take my assigned seat and both the armrests. 389 00:25:23,920 --> 00:25:25,840 Your knee space? No." 390 00:25:28,040 --> 00:25:31,280 Just jokes, though. Clearly... just jokes. 391 00:25:31,720 --> 00:25:36,520 Just jokes. I wouldn't want to be a straight white man. Not... right now. 392 00:25:36,600 --> 00:25:37,560 This is... 393 00:25:37,960 --> 00:25:42,600 Not at this moment in history. It is not a good time to be a straight white man. 394 00:25:42,680 --> 00:25:45,960 I wouldn't want to be a straight white man. Not if you paid me. 395 00:25:46,040 --> 00:25:48,680 Although the pay would be substantially better. 396 00:25:52,120 --> 00:25:53,120 But, no... 397 00:25:55,040 --> 00:26:00,200 I don't think it's an easy time for you fellas, I do feel for you. 398 00:26:01,360 --> 00:26:03,760 Very difficult, very confusing time. 399 00:26:04,800 --> 00:26:06,640 Because-- And you're not coping. 400 00:26:07,440 --> 00:26:11,760 Because, for the first time ever, you're suddenly a sub-category of human. 401 00:26:13,200 --> 00:26:16,640 Right? "No, we invented the categories. We're not supposed to play! 402 00:26:17,760 --> 00:26:19,200 We're human-neutral." 403 00:26:19,720 --> 00:26:20,720 Not anymore. 404 00:26:21,240 --> 00:26:24,120 I've always been judged by what I am. 405 00:26:24,720 --> 00:26:28,320 Always been a fat, ugly dyke. I'm dead inside. I can cope. 406 00:26:29,240 --> 00:26:31,440 But you fellas... Bit soft in the belly? 407 00:26:32,480 --> 00:26:34,960 You hear "straight white man," you're like, "No. 408 00:26:35,040 --> 00:26:36,520 No, that's reverse sexism." 409 00:26:36,600 --> 00:26:38,880 No, it's not. You wrote the rules. Read them. 410 00:26:46,040 --> 00:26:48,200 Just jokes. Banter. Don't feel intimidated. 411 00:26:51,400 --> 00:26:52,800 It's just locker room talk. 412 00:26:53,200 --> 00:26:58,720 [audience cheers] 413 00:26:58,800 --> 00:26:59,920 Just jokes, though. 414 00:27:01,440 --> 00:27:02,840 Just jokes. 415 00:27:03,560 --> 00:27:07,720 Do you know why I love picking on, telling jokes about straight white men? 416 00:27:07,800 --> 00:27:09,400 'Cause they're such good sports. 417 00:27:11,720 --> 00:27:14,240 They're like, "Oh, good joke about me. 418 00:27:17,880 --> 00:27:20,160 That's a refreshing perspective. 419 00:27:23,600 --> 00:27:28,320 If you hate men so much, why do you try so fucking hard to look like one?" 420 00:27:29,680 --> 00:27:32,440 'Cause you need a good role model right now, fellas. 421 00:27:32,520 --> 00:27:34,320 [audience cheers] 422 00:27:40,040 --> 00:27:41,680 Dropping like flies. 423 00:27:44,240 --> 00:27:48,760 Jokes aside, if I may just give you a little human-to-human advice. 424 00:27:48,840 --> 00:27:52,640 Because I do understand it is a difficult and confusing time for you now. 425 00:27:53,040 --> 00:27:56,160 You know, it's changing, it's shifting, and I understand that. 426 00:27:56,240 --> 00:28:01,680 But... may I just, you know, suggest that you learn 427 00:28:01,760 --> 00:28:04,560 to, sort of, move beyond your defensiveness. 428 00:28:04,920 --> 00:28:07,440 Right? That's your first point, you're stuck on it, 429 00:28:07,520 --> 00:28:10,680 but you need to get some space around it, learn to develop... 430 00:28:10,760 --> 00:28:14,560 try and develop a sense of humor about it, or you need to lighten up, learn to laugh. 431 00:28:14,640 --> 00:28:17,080 Tell you what might help. How about a good dicking? 432 00:28:17,160 --> 00:28:20,320 Get a cock up ya, drink some jizz! 433 00:28:20,400 --> 00:28:21,880 You gotta laugh! 434 00:28:23,480 --> 00:28:25,000 That's weird advice, isn't it? 435 00:28:29,200 --> 00:28:30,040 It's weird. 436 00:28:30,680 --> 00:28:34,520 It doesn't... It's not good, is it? It doesn't feel very nice, does it? 437 00:28:37,400 --> 00:28:39,400 Laughter's the best medicine, they say. 438 00:28:40,240 --> 00:28:44,040 I don't. I reckon penicillin might give it the nudge. 439 00:28:48,000 --> 00:28:52,760 There is truth to it, though. Laughter is very good for the human. 440 00:28:52,840 --> 00:28:54,040 It really is. 441 00:28:54,480 --> 00:28:56,680 'Cause when you laugh, you release tension. 442 00:28:57,360 --> 00:29:00,920 And when you hold tension in your human body, it's not healthy. 443 00:29:01,000 --> 00:29:03,360 It's not healthy psychologically or physically. 444 00:29:03,680 --> 00:29:07,400 That's why it's good to laugh. It's even better to laugh with other people. 445 00:29:07,480 --> 00:29:10,880 When you laugh, in a room full of people, when you share a laugh, 446 00:29:10,960 --> 00:29:13,000 you will release more tension 447 00:29:13,320 --> 00:29:15,240 because laughter is infectious. 448 00:29:15,800 --> 00:29:19,080 You stand to release more tension when you laugh with other people 449 00:29:19,160 --> 00:29:20,920 than you would if you laugh alone. 450 00:29:21,320 --> 00:29:24,120 Mainly because when you laugh alone, that's mental illness 451 00:29:24,200 --> 00:29:25,920 and that's a different kind of tension. 452 00:29:26,800 --> 00:29:28,200 Laughter doesn't help. 453 00:29:29,000 --> 00:29:30,000 Trust me. 454 00:29:32,600 --> 00:29:34,120 Tension isolates us. 455 00:29:34,560 --> 00:29:36,240 And laughter connects us. 456 00:29:36,760 --> 00:29:38,480 Good result. Good on me. 457 00:29:38,560 --> 00:29:39,600 What a guy. 458 00:29:40,440 --> 00:29:42,600 What a guy. I'm basically Mother Teresa. 459 00:29:43,920 --> 00:29:46,280 But just like Mother Teresa... 460 00:29:47,040 --> 00:29:49,280 my methods are not exactly charitable. 461 00:29:53,200 --> 00:29:55,080 Let me explain to you what a joke is. 462 00:29:56,080 --> 00:30:00,200 And when you strip it back to its bare essential... components, 463 00:30:00,280 --> 00:30:01,600 like, its bare minimum, 464 00:30:01,680 --> 00:30:04,840 a joke is simply two things, it needs two things to work. 465 00:30:04,920 --> 00:30:06,400 A setup and a punch line. 466 00:30:06,480 --> 00:30:10,240 And it is essentially a question with a surprise answer. 467 00:30:11,000 --> 00:30:12,880 Right? But in this context, 468 00:30:13,400 --> 00:30:15,760 what a joke is is a question 469 00:30:15,840 --> 00:30:18,520 that I have artificially inseminated. 470 00:30:19,360 --> 00:30:22,000 Tension. I do that, that's my job. 471 00:30:22,080 --> 00:30:23,480 I make you all feel tense, 472 00:30:23,560 --> 00:30:26,560 and then I make you laugh, and you're like, "Thanks for that. 473 00:30:27,520 --> 00:30:29,080 I was feeling a bit tense." 474 00:30:30,600 --> 00:30:32,760 I made you tense. 475 00:30:34,160 --> 00:30:36,400 This is an abusive relationship. 476 00:30:39,760 --> 00:30:41,760 Do you know why I'm such a funny fucker? 477 00:30:42,920 --> 00:30:47,080 Do you? It's because, you know, I've been learning the art of tension diffusion 478 00:30:47,160 --> 00:30:48,760 since I was a children. 479 00:30:51,000 --> 00:30:53,280 Back then it wasn't a job, wasn't even a hobby, 480 00:30:53,360 --> 00:30:55,000 it was a survival tactic. 481 00:30:55,480 --> 00:30:57,320 I didn't have to invent the tension. 482 00:30:57,400 --> 00:30:59,120 I was the tension. 483 00:31:00,400 --> 00:31:03,560 And... I'm tired of tension. 484 00:31:04,280 --> 00:31:06,160 Tension is making me sick. 485 00:31:06,840 --> 00:31:10,240 It is time... I stopped... comedy. 486 00:31:10,720 --> 00:31:13,200 I have to quit comedy... but I mean... 487 00:31:14,320 --> 00:31:15,640 I can't quit you. 488 00:31:15,720 --> 00:31:18,640 No, I can't quit you. I can't. 489 00:31:18,720 --> 00:31:21,240 Because I don't have a backup plan, guys. 490 00:31:23,680 --> 00:31:24,680 What have I got? 491 00:31:25,240 --> 00:31:29,720 Fifteen years ago, I barely graduated from an Art History degree. 492 00:31:31,240 --> 00:31:32,720 Fifteen years ago. 493 00:31:32,800 --> 00:31:34,800 Art History. Fifteen-- 494 00:31:34,880 --> 00:31:37,200 They were dead then. They're just deader. 495 00:31:38,680 --> 00:31:43,480 My CV is pretty much a cock and balls drawn under a fax number. 496 00:31:46,760 --> 00:31:51,200 Could you imagine me working in a gallery with an asymmetrical woolen poncho 497 00:31:51,280 --> 00:31:53,280 with an aggressive... fringe? 498 00:31:55,640 --> 00:31:58,360 Nasty jewelry, having the opinion? 499 00:32:02,640 --> 00:32:05,720 No. There's... You know, art history is highbrow. 500 00:32:05,800 --> 00:32:08,280 I don't belong in that world, I'm not from that world. 501 00:32:08,360 --> 00:32:11,600 I'm not from money, or even that much chat, if I'm honest, but... 502 00:32:12,400 --> 00:32:16,040 high art, you know, that's what elevates and civilizes people. 503 00:32:16,120 --> 00:32:18,960 You know, galleries, the ballet, the the-a-ter. 504 00:32:19,040 --> 00:32:21,720 All these things, you go there, you get better. 505 00:32:21,800 --> 00:32:23,240 Comedy? Lowbrow. 506 00:32:23,320 --> 00:32:27,960 Well, I'm sorry to inform you, but nobody here is leaving this room a better person. 507 00:32:29,040 --> 00:32:32,560 We're just rolling around in our own shit here, people. 508 00:32:35,560 --> 00:32:40,960 But I-- A couple of years ago, a man came up to me after... my show. 509 00:32:41,040 --> 00:32:42,200 He had an opinion. 510 00:32:43,920 --> 00:32:45,560 Lesbians give feedback. 511 00:32:45,640 --> 00:32:46,920 Men? Opinions. 512 00:32:49,600 --> 00:32:54,920 Now, in the show, I'd spoken about taking antidepressant medication, 513 00:32:55,000 --> 00:32:56,440 and he had an opinion on that. 514 00:32:57,720 --> 00:33:03,280 Now, interestingly, I'd also spoken about how unhelpful unsolicited advice is 515 00:33:03,360 --> 00:33:08,480 in a... mental health plan, but he mustn't have heard that bit. 516 00:33:09,800 --> 00:33:12,640 He came up to me after the show to give me his opinion. 517 00:33:13,760 --> 00:33:17,520 He said, "You shouldn't take medication because you're an artist. 518 00:33:18,120 --> 00:33:20,480 It's important that you feel." 519 00:33:22,240 --> 00:33:27,880 He said, "If Vincent van Gogh had have taken medication, 520 00:33:28,720 --> 00:33:31,280 we wouldn't have the sunflowers." 521 00:33:33,560 --> 00:33:38,680 I never, ever, ever thought that my art history degree would ever come in handy. 522 00:33:41,400 --> 00:33:42,840 But, oh, my lord. 523 00:33:44,320 --> 00:33:48,880 I tore that man a college debt-sized new arsehole. 524 00:33:53,040 --> 00:33:55,240 I said, "Good opinion, mate. 525 00:33:55,880 --> 00:33:57,880 Except that he did medicate. 526 00:33:58,320 --> 00:33:59,160 A lot. 527 00:33:59,240 --> 00:34:03,280 He self-medicated a lot. He drank a lot. He even nibbled on his own paints. 528 00:34:03,360 --> 00:34:04,200 Problem. 529 00:34:05,560 --> 00:34:07,120 And also, you know what else? 530 00:34:07,200 --> 00:34:11,800 He didn't just paint sunflowers, he did quite a few portraits of psychiatrists. 531 00:34:11,880 --> 00:34:15,400 Not even random ones. Psychiatrists who were treating him. 532 00:34:15,480 --> 00:34:17,440 And medicating him. 533 00:34:18,440 --> 00:34:21,680 And there's one particular portrait of one particular psychiatrist, 534 00:34:21,760 --> 00:34:24,720 and he's holding a flower, and it isn't a sunflower. 535 00:34:24,800 --> 00:34:26,080 It's a foxglove. 536 00:34:26,160 --> 00:34:29,640 And that foxglove forms part of a medication 537 00:34:29,720 --> 00:34:33,160 that Van Gogh... took for epilepsy. 538 00:34:33,240 --> 00:34:37,760 And that derivative of the foxglove plant medi-fucking-cation..." 539 00:34:37,840 --> 00:34:40,720 I must have skipped a dose that day 'cause I was feeling. 540 00:34:47,200 --> 00:34:52,040 "The derivative of the foxglove, if you overdose it a bit, you know what happens? 541 00:34:52,120 --> 00:34:56,600 You can experience the color yellow a little too intensely. 542 00:34:59,040 --> 00:35:03,960 So perhaps... we have the sunflowers precisely because... 543 00:35:04,320 --> 00:35:06,560 Van Gogh medicated. 544 00:35:07,400 --> 00:35:10,560 What do you honestly think, mate?" I said. 545 00:35:11,200 --> 00:35:14,360 "That creativity means you must suffer? 546 00:35:14,440 --> 00:35:16,800 That is the burden of creativity? 547 00:35:16,880 --> 00:35:19,200 Just so you can enjoy it? 548 00:35:19,280 --> 00:35:22,280 Fuck you, mate. If you like sunflowers so much, 549 00:35:22,360 --> 00:35:25,040 buy a bunch and jerk off into a geranium." 550 00:35:36,040 --> 00:35:36,880 Know what he said? 551 00:35:37,880 --> 00:35:38,880 He goes, 552 00:35:40,280 --> 00:35:41,960 "No need to be so sensitive." 553 00:35:45,480 --> 00:35:47,440 I'm not being sensitive. I'm an artist. 554 00:35:47,520 --> 00:35:48,560 That's feeling. 555 00:35:51,520 --> 00:35:56,080 "Don't be so sensitive." That is the most common nugget of advice I get. 556 00:35:56,880 --> 00:35:58,800 'Cause I'm a very sensitive person. 557 00:35:58,880 --> 00:36:02,440 And I get told to "stop being so sensitive" an awful lot. 558 00:36:02,520 --> 00:36:03,880 And it is always yelled. 559 00:36:05,920 --> 00:36:07,720 Which I find very insensitive. 560 00:36:10,600 --> 00:36:11,600 I don't get it. 561 00:36:12,600 --> 00:36:15,080 "Stop being so sensitive." I don't understand. 562 00:36:15,160 --> 00:36:17,800 Why is insensitivity something to strive for? 563 00:36:18,920 --> 00:36:22,760 I happen to know that my sensitivity is my strength. I know that. 564 00:36:22,840 --> 00:36:27,480 It's my sensitivity that's helped me navigate a very difficult path in life. 565 00:36:28,160 --> 00:36:31,560 So when somebody tells me to "stop being so sensitive," 566 00:36:32,280 --> 00:36:35,480 you know what? I feel a little bit like a nose 567 00:36:36,000 --> 00:36:37,880 being lectured by a fart. 568 00:36:40,240 --> 00:36:41,280 Not the problem. 569 00:36:47,200 --> 00:36:51,600 I feel like, in a comedy show, there's no room for the best part of the story... 570 00:36:53,400 --> 00:36:54,400 which is the ending. 571 00:36:54,480 --> 00:36:56,760 You know, in order to finish on a laugh, 572 00:36:57,200 --> 00:37:00,560 you know, you have to end... with punch lines. 573 00:37:01,720 --> 00:37:05,480 Like, take my coming-out story, for example. The best part of that story 574 00:37:06,600 --> 00:37:10,080 is the fact that Mum and I have a wonderful relationship now. 575 00:37:10,160 --> 00:37:13,440 More than mother and daughter, we're friends, we trust each other. 576 00:37:15,200 --> 00:37:18,640 Look what I did to the room. No tension. You're just going, "Good on you. 577 00:37:21,640 --> 00:37:23,800 Got a good relationship with your mum, have you? 578 00:37:26,040 --> 00:37:27,680 Can you go back to the tension? 579 00:37:29,000 --> 00:37:30,160 That was hilarious." 580 00:37:32,040 --> 00:37:34,800 But, yeah, Mum said to me last year, she said, 581 00:37:34,880 --> 00:37:38,640 "I'm very proud... that I raised you kids without religion." 582 00:37:39,440 --> 00:37:41,640 I'd love to give you guys context on that, 583 00:37:41,720 --> 00:37:44,360 but that's not how my mum runs a conversation. 584 00:37:47,320 --> 00:37:50,120 I have no idea why she brought that up in Target. 585 00:37:52,040 --> 00:37:52,880 No idea. 586 00:37:57,160 --> 00:38:00,160 She said, "I'm very proud that I raised you kids without religion 587 00:38:00,240 --> 00:38:04,120 because, you know, I've raised five children with minds of their own." 588 00:38:05,560 --> 00:38:07,640 And I've just sort of gone, "Good on you. 589 00:38:08,560 --> 00:38:10,160 What aren't you proud of, Mum?" 590 00:38:10,600 --> 00:38:12,480 I was home for a week. We had time. 591 00:38:14,640 --> 00:38:19,880 Because Mum and I have established jokes around this difficult time in our life. 592 00:38:19,960 --> 00:38:22,000 We really do. The banter, if you will. 593 00:38:22,080 --> 00:38:25,080 I say things like, "Mum, you made my life very difficult." 594 00:38:25,600 --> 00:38:28,800 And she'll go, "Yeah, well, I don't think I liked you very much." 595 00:38:30,360 --> 00:38:31,600 And we laugh! 596 00:38:33,320 --> 00:38:34,960 'Cause you've got to laugh. And... 597 00:38:36,000 --> 00:38:39,880 But not this day. She went quiet and... got tense. 598 00:38:41,280 --> 00:38:43,280 But what my mum eventually said to me 599 00:38:43,840 --> 00:38:46,440 is pretty much... at the core 600 00:38:46,520 --> 00:38:49,720 of why I'm questioning... comedy. 601 00:38:51,360 --> 00:38:53,440 She said to me, "The thing I regret 602 00:38:55,080 --> 00:38:57,400 is that I raised you as if you were straight. 603 00:38:58,360 --> 00:39:01,200 I didn't know any different. I am so sorry. 604 00:39:01,880 --> 00:39:03,160 I'm so sorry. 605 00:39:03,760 --> 00:39:07,080 I knew... well before you did... 606 00:39:07,680 --> 00:39:11,080 that your life was going to be so hard. I knew that, 607 00:39:11,160 --> 00:39:15,000 and I wanted it more than anything in the world not to be the case. 608 00:39:15,800 --> 00:39:17,880 And I know I made it worse, 609 00:39:17,960 --> 00:39:22,680 because I wanted you to change because I knew the world wouldn't." 610 00:39:23,920 --> 00:39:25,920 And I looked at my mum in that moment 611 00:39:26,400 --> 00:39:28,160 and thought, "How did that happen? 612 00:39:29,680 --> 00:39:31,120 How did my mum 613 00:39:31,600 --> 00:39:34,400 get to be the hero of my story?" 614 00:39:40,800 --> 00:39:42,160 She evolved. 615 00:39:43,960 --> 00:39:44,960 I didn't. 616 00:39:46,320 --> 00:39:48,760 See... I think part of my problem 617 00:39:48,840 --> 00:39:53,360 is comedy has suspended me in a perpetual state of adolescence. 618 00:39:53,800 --> 00:39:55,880 The way I've been telling that story 619 00:39:56,520 --> 00:39:57,800 is through jokes. 620 00:39:58,840 --> 00:40:03,120 And stories... unlike jokes, need three parts. 621 00:40:03,200 --> 00:40:05,400 A beginning, a middle, and an end. 622 00:40:05,880 --> 00:40:08,680 Jokes... only need two parts. 623 00:40:08,760 --> 00:40:10,400 A beginning and a middle. 624 00:40:11,640 --> 00:40:15,720 And what I had done, with that comedy show about coming out, 625 00:40:16,240 --> 00:40:21,480 was I froze an incredibly formative experience at its trauma point 626 00:40:21,560 --> 00:40:23,560 and I sealed it off into jokes. 627 00:40:24,360 --> 00:40:27,800 And that story became a routine, and through repetition, 628 00:40:28,600 --> 00:40:32,040 that joke version fused with my actual memory of what happened. 629 00:40:32,120 --> 00:40:36,520 But unfortunately that joke version was not nearly sophisticated enough 630 00:40:37,240 --> 00:40:40,240 to help me undo the damage done to me in reality. 631 00:40:43,400 --> 00:40:45,400 Punch lines need trauma 632 00:40:46,440 --> 00:40:47,960 because punch lines... 633 00:40:49,240 --> 00:40:52,720 need tension, and tension feeds trauma. 634 00:40:55,080 --> 00:40:59,360 I didn't come out to my grandma last year because I'm still ashamed of who I am. 635 00:40:59,960 --> 00:41:01,240 Not intellectually. 636 00:41:02,160 --> 00:41:03,160 But, right there, 637 00:41:04,040 --> 00:41:06,040 I still have shame. 638 00:41:07,280 --> 00:41:11,160 You learn from the part of the story you focus on. 639 00:41:12,640 --> 00:41:15,440 I need to tell my story properly. 640 00:41:17,520 --> 00:41:21,680 Because the closet, for me, was no easy thing... to come out of. 641 00:41:25,360 --> 00:41:29,480 From the years 1989 to 1997, right? 642 00:41:29,560 --> 00:41:32,200 This is ten years. Effectively my adolescence. 643 00:41:32,800 --> 00:41:35,960 Tasmania was at the center of a very toxic national debate 644 00:41:36,440 --> 00:41:39,640 about homosexuality and whether or not it should be legalized. 645 00:41:40,080 --> 00:41:43,240 And I'm from the northwest coast of Tasmania, the Bible Belt. 646 00:41:43,760 --> 00:41:47,520 Seventy percent of the people... I lived amongst... 647 00:41:48,040 --> 00:41:52,680 believe that homosexuality should be... a criminal act. 648 00:41:53,160 --> 00:41:57,800 Seventy percent of the people who raised me, who loved me, who I trusted, 649 00:41:58,360 --> 00:42:00,760 believed that homosexuality was a sin, 650 00:42:01,880 --> 00:42:05,520 that homosexuals were heinous, sub-human pedophiles. 651 00:42:05,600 --> 00:42:07,040 Seventy percent. 652 00:42:07,520 --> 00:42:10,600 By the time I identified as being gay, it was too late. 653 00:42:10,680 --> 00:42:15,600 I was already homophobic, and you do not get to just flick a switch on that. 654 00:42:15,680 --> 00:42:19,040 No, what you do is you internalize that homophobia 655 00:42:19,120 --> 00:42:20,880 and you learn to hate yourself. 656 00:42:21,880 --> 00:42:23,560 Hate yourself to the core. 657 00:42:24,080 --> 00:42:26,840 I sat soaking in shame... 658 00:42:27,840 --> 00:42:30,200 in the closet, for ten years. 659 00:42:30,880 --> 00:42:34,720 Because the closet can only stop you from being seen. It is not shame-proof. 660 00:42:34,800 --> 00:42:36,800 When you soak a child in shame, 661 00:42:36,880 --> 00:42:40,640 they cannot develop the neurological pathways that carry thought... 662 00:42:41,600 --> 00:42:43,640 you know, carry thoughts of self-worth. 663 00:42:44,280 --> 00:42:45,560 They can't do that. 664 00:42:45,640 --> 00:42:49,400 Self-hatred is only ever a seed planted from outside in. 665 00:42:49,480 --> 00:42:51,280 But when you do that to a child, 666 00:42:51,720 --> 00:42:55,400 it becomes a weed so thick, and it grows so fast, 667 00:42:55,480 --> 00:42:57,480 the child doesn't know any different. 668 00:42:57,560 --> 00:43:01,000 It becomes... as natural as gravity. 669 00:43:02,400 --> 00:43:05,520 When I came out of the closet, I didn't have any jokes. 670 00:43:05,600 --> 00:43:09,520 The only thing I knew how to do was to be invisible and hate myself. 671 00:43:09,600 --> 00:43:13,600 It took me ten years to understand I was allowed to take up space in the world. 672 00:43:13,680 --> 00:43:17,120 But, by then, I'd sealed it off into jokes like it was no big deal. 673 00:43:18,880 --> 00:43:21,800 I need to tell my story properly. 674 00:43:22,360 --> 00:43:27,280 Because I paid dearly for a lesson that nobody seems to have wanted to learn. 675 00:43:27,640 --> 00:43:30,440 And this is bigger... than homosexuality. 676 00:43:30,520 --> 00:43:32,920 This is about how we conduct debate 677 00:43:33,880 --> 00:43:37,240 in public about sensitive things. 678 00:43:37,320 --> 00:43:40,160 It's toxic, it's juvenile, it's destructive. 679 00:43:40,240 --> 00:43:42,840 We think it's more important to be right 680 00:43:43,400 --> 00:43:47,040 than it is to appeal to the humanity of people we disagree with. 681 00:43:47,560 --> 00:43:49,560 Ignorance will always walk amongst us 682 00:43:49,640 --> 00:43:52,240 because we will never know all of the things. 683 00:43:53,600 --> 00:43:55,400 I need to tell my story properly 684 00:43:55,480 --> 00:43:59,080 because you learn from the part of the story... you focus on. 685 00:43:59,520 --> 00:44:00,520 Take Vincent. 686 00:44:00,960 --> 00:44:03,400 Old mate... Vincent van Gogh. 687 00:44:03,480 --> 00:44:06,080 The way we tell his story... it's no good. 688 00:44:06,160 --> 00:44:09,920 It's destructive. Because we've reduced it to a tale of rags to riches. 689 00:44:10,000 --> 00:44:12,000 He only sold one painting in his life. 690 00:44:12,600 --> 00:44:14,160 You know? Now look at him. 691 00:44:15,760 --> 00:44:18,240 "He's quite dead." Yeah, but very successful! 692 00:44:20,040 --> 00:44:22,240 Only sold one painting in his lifetime. 693 00:44:23,040 --> 00:44:28,480 And people believe, with that story, that Van Gogh was this misunderstood genius. 694 00:44:28,560 --> 00:44:31,360 You know, he was born ahead of his time. 695 00:44:31,440 --> 00:44:32,960 What a load of shit. 696 00:44:33,600 --> 00:44:36,920 Nobody is born ahead of their time. 697 00:44:37,400 --> 00:44:38,920 It's impossible! 698 00:44:40,040 --> 00:44:42,600 Nobody's born ahead of their time! 699 00:44:42,680 --> 00:44:45,320 Maybe premmie babies, but they catch up! 700 00:44:48,480 --> 00:44:51,200 Artists don't invent zeitgeists! 701 00:44:51,280 --> 00:44:53,000 They respond to it. 702 00:44:53,560 --> 00:44:56,880 He was not ahead of his time. He was a Post-Impressionist painter, 703 00:44:56,960 --> 00:44:59,400 painting at the peak of Post-Impressionism, 704 00:44:59,480 --> 00:45:02,400 while Peter was picking his pickled pepper. 705 00:45:04,400 --> 00:45:06,160 He wasn't born ahead of his time. 706 00:45:06,240 --> 00:45:07,800 He couldn't network. 707 00:45:08,240 --> 00:45:09,480 'Cause he was mental. 708 00:45:09,560 --> 00:45:12,160 He was... crazy. He had unstable energy. 709 00:45:12,240 --> 00:45:14,520 People would cross the street to avoid him. 710 00:45:14,600 --> 00:45:18,440 That's why he didn't sell any more than one painting in his lifetime. 711 00:45:18,520 --> 00:45:19,960 He couldn't network. 712 00:45:20,520 --> 00:45:24,800 This whole idea, this romanticizing of mental illness, is ridiculous. 713 00:45:24,880 --> 00:45:26,840 It is not a ticket to genius. 714 00:45:27,200 --> 00:45:29,040 It's a ticket to fucking nowhere. 715 00:45:30,320 --> 00:45:34,480 And artists are not these incredible, you know, mythical creatures 716 00:45:34,560 --> 00:45:36,120 that exist outside of the world. 717 00:45:36,200 --> 00:45:38,960 No, artists have always been very much part of the world, 718 00:45:39,040 --> 00:45:42,200 and very... very firmly attached to power. 719 00:45:42,680 --> 00:45:46,280 Always. Power and money, art is always there. 720 00:45:46,680 --> 00:45:50,160 Right back to the Renaissance. Oh, the Turtles? All of them. 721 00:45:52,800 --> 00:45:54,840 All of them, they knew how to network. 722 00:45:54,920 --> 00:45:55,960 Leonardo? 723 00:45:57,440 --> 00:45:58,640 Raphael? 724 00:45:59,760 --> 00:46:00,600 Donatello? 725 00:46:00,680 --> 00:46:04,240 They're right up there, painting their own business cards, schmoozing. 726 00:46:05,080 --> 00:46:08,480 Michelangelo was a bit difficult, he was a bit... crazy. 727 00:46:08,560 --> 00:46:11,800 But, you know, he still networked. He gave gobbies to the Pope. 728 00:46:14,120 --> 00:46:16,080 Kissed his ring. Literally. But... 729 00:46:19,160 --> 00:46:22,840 I think it's a shame that art history is such an elitist sport. 730 00:46:24,280 --> 00:46:25,760 It taught me a lot, you know. 731 00:46:25,840 --> 00:46:28,640 Useless... as far as a money-earner's concerned, 732 00:46:28,720 --> 00:46:31,280 but I learned a lot about the world because of art history. 733 00:46:31,360 --> 00:46:33,880 I understand this world very well. 734 00:46:33,960 --> 00:46:36,800 I understand the world I live in... because of art history. 735 00:46:36,880 --> 00:46:39,280 I understand the world I live in and my place in it. 736 00:46:39,840 --> 00:46:41,200 And I don't have one. 737 00:46:41,280 --> 00:46:44,320 And do you know how much time that saved me? 738 00:46:44,960 --> 00:46:46,960 I'm quite old, but look at the skin! 739 00:46:48,520 --> 00:46:52,680 That's 'cause I haven't wasted time looking... for how I fit in. 740 00:46:52,760 --> 00:46:53,760 I don't. 741 00:46:54,160 --> 00:46:55,200 A lot of naps. 742 00:46:56,600 --> 00:46:59,360 Art history taught me there's only ever been two types of women. 743 00:47:00,240 --> 00:47:02,120 A virgin or a whore. 744 00:47:03,880 --> 00:47:08,040 Most people think that Miley Cyrus and Taylor Swift invented that binary, 745 00:47:08,120 --> 00:47:10,360 but it's been going on thousands of years. 746 00:47:11,520 --> 00:47:14,760 There's only ever been two options for a little girl to grow up into. 747 00:47:14,840 --> 00:47:17,000 Virgin or whore. We were always given a choice. 748 00:47:17,080 --> 00:47:19,360 Take your pick. Ladies' choice! That's the trick. 749 00:47:20,840 --> 00:47:24,680 The patriarchy, it's not a dictatorship. Take your choice! 750 00:47:25,080 --> 00:47:28,280 And I don't fit very neatly into either of those categories. 751 00:47:28,680 --> 00:47:29,840 Virgin or whore? 752 00:47:30,600 --> 00:47:32,880 I mean, on a technicality, I'd get virgin. 753 00:47:38,920 --> 00:47:39,760 I know. 754 00:47:40,760 --> 00:47:43,680 Do you know, if you go into a gallery with ye olde paintings there, 755 00:47:43,760 --> 00:47:47,840 there's a lot of evidence to suggest that women have existed for a very long time. 756 00:47:49,160 --> 00:47:50,880 Longer than clothes. 757 00:47:56,320 --> 00:48:00,920 But not this masculine, off-center, lesbian situation here. 758 00:48:01,000 --> 00:48:03,120 And I... Art history taught me, you know, 759 00:48:03,200 --> 00:48:06,920 I look at these history women and I don't feel like I'm the same species. 760 00:48:07,000 --> 00:48:11,040 There's a lot of things that I do, and it's not an identity construction. 761 00:48:11,640 --> 00:48:14,080 No, I've... Just things happen naturally. 762 00:48:14,160 --> 00:48:17,880 And art history taught me that these things are not really the place 763 00:48:18,520 --> 00:48:19,960 of a woman, you know? 764 00:48:20,040 --> 00:48:24,080 One of the things I do, I can generate thoughts in my own brain... unprompted. 765 00:48:24,160 --> 00:48:26,160 I can do that, all the time! 766 00:48:27,160 --> 00:48:29,960 Had another one. They just come all the time, and... 767 00:48:31,760 --> 00:48:34,120 Art history taught me, you know, 768 00:48:34,200 --> 00:48:37,760 historically, women didn't have time for the think-thoughts. 769 00:48:37,840 --> 00:48:40,760 They were too busy napping, naked, alone, in the forest. 770 00:48:43,480 --> 00:48:48,160 Even biologically... I don't feel like I'm the same species. 771 00:48:48,240 --> 00:48:50,880 For a start, I've got a functioning skeletal system. 772 00:48:51,640 --> 00:48:53,200 If you go into the galleries, 773 00:48:53,280 --> 00:48:56,800 you see, if a woman's not sporting a corset and/or a hymen... 774 00:48:56,880 --> 00:48:59,640 she just loses all structure. Just sort of like... 775 00:49:00,160 --> 00:49:03,840 Just flopping about all over the place, going, "Oh, what does, furniture?" 776 00:49:06,000 --> 00:49:07,840 Sidesaddle, tits akimbo. 777 00:49:09,600 --> 00:49:11,800 No wonder we can't reverse park, ladies! 778 00:49:12,880 --> 00:49:16,360 Dumb history women couldn't even reverse park their arse onto a chair! 779 00:49:20,800 --> 00:49:22,920 Another thing I do that's not very ladylike 780 00:49:23,000 --> 00:49:26,960 is every day I seem to be able to finish the getting of the dressed. 781 00:49:27,040 --> 00:49:28,040 Every day! 782 00:49:29,400 --> 00:49:31,760 Not a problem. All the buttons, all the way up. 783 00:49:31,840 --> 00:49:34,120 I'm quite a vague and forgetful person, but... 784 00:49:35,400 --> 00:49:37,200 Seem to do it quite easily. 785 00:49:38,520 --> 00:49:41,760 Especially if I'm leaving the house to get my portrait painted. 786 00:49:43,600 --> 00:49:46,280 Never once have I thought, "You know what, today, 787 00:49:46,360 --> 00:49:48,400 I must just leave a cheeky one out." 788 00:49:55,040 --> 00:49:56,400 High art. 789 00:49:57,960 --> 00:49:59,640 I'm going to call it, guys. 790 00:50:00,880 --> 00:50:01,720 Bullshit. 791 00:50:02,920 --> 00:50:04,520 High art, my arse. 792 00:50:04,600 --> 00:50:08,000 The history of western art is just the history of men painting women 793 00:50:08,080 --> 00:50:11,000 like they're flesh vases for their dick flowers. 794 00:50:15,280 --> 00:50:17,680 Having... said that, 795 00:50:19,440 --> 00:50:23,560 I think I've ruined any chance of getting a job in a gallery now. 796 00:50:25,560 --> 00:50:28,240 I mean, I could pay to be a volunteer guide. 797 00:50:29,840 --> 00:50:32,640 'Cause it doesn't get any better with modern art, I tell you. 798 00:50:33,200 --> 00:50:37,600 I trip on the first hurdle. Pablo Picasso. I hate him, but you're not allowed to. 799 00:50:39,760 --> 00:50:40,600 I hate him. 800 00:50:40,680 --> 00:50:41,880 But you can't. Cubism. 801 00:50:41,960 --> 00:50:44,840 And if you ruin... cubism, 802 00:50:44,920 --> 00:50:47,360 then civilization as we know it will crumble. 803 00:50:48,560 --> 00:50:51,720 Cubism. Aren't we grateful... in this room... 804 00:50:53,880 --> 00:50:56,200 that we live in a post-cubism world? 805 00:50:58,120 --> 00:51:02,480 Isn't that the first thing we all write in our gratitude journals? "Oh, thank god." 806 00:51:04,800 --> 00:51:07,240 I don't like Picasso. I fucking hate him. 807 00:51:07,400 --> 00:51:10,240 I really-- I just-- He's rotten in the face cavity. 808 00:51:10,320 --> 00:51:13,840 I hate Picasso! I hate him! And you can't make me like-- 809 00:51:14,840 --> 00:51:16,840 But you get it a lot: "Oh, cubism..." 810 00:51:17,760 --> 00:51:20,480 And I know I should be more generous about him too 811 00:51:20,560 --> 00:51:22,560 because he suffered a mental illness. 812 00:51:23,000 --> 00:51:27,080 But you see, nobody knows that. Because it doesn't fit with his mythology. 813 00:51:27,160 --> 00:51:29,000 They go, "I think you're thinking of Van Gogh." 814 00:51:29,440 --> 00:51:31,720 No, I'm thinking about them all, actually... 815 00:51:32,480 --> 00:51:34,480 Because Picasso, he's sold to us 816 00:51:34,560 --> 00:51:38,960 as this passionate, virile, tormented genius, man, ball sack, right? 817 00:51:39,040 --> 00:51:42,440 There's no room in that story for... is there? 818 00:51:42,520 --> 00:51:45,600 -[audience member] No. -No. It's rhetorical, but... 819 00:51:45,760 --> 00:51:46,600 There's a... 820 00:51:52,840 --> 00:51:56,080 But he did suffer a mental illness. Picasso did. 821 00:51:56,160 --> 00:51:59,040 He suffered badly and it got worse as he got older. 822 00:51:59,120 --> 00:52:03,200 Picasso suffered... the mental illness of misogyny. 823 00:52:04,640 --> 00:52:05,640 Split the room. 824 00:52:07,280 --> 00:52:10,000 Didn't I? And I bet you I know how that felt. 825 00:52:11,280 --> 00:52:13,320 Is misogyny a mental illness? 826 00:52:14,360 --> 00:52:15,200 Yeah. 827 00:52:16,400 --> 00:52:19,680 Yeah, it is! Especially if you're a heterosexual man. 828 00:52:19,760 --> 00:52:22,880 Because if you hate what you desire, do you know what that is? 829 00:52:23,400 --> 00:52:24,800 Fucking tense! 830 00:52:27,320 --> 00:52:30,880 Sort your shit out. Yeah, he did suffer from a mental illness. 831 00:52:30,960 --> 00:52:34,760 Smarter men than I have proved he didn't suffer a mental illness, but they're-- 832 00:52:34,840 --> 00:52:35,760 No, they're wrong. 833 00:52:37,760 --> 00:52:40,640 They'd say he's not a misogynist. They're wrong. He was. 834 00:52:40,720 --> 00:52:43,440 If you don't believe me, let me provide you a quote 835 00:52:43,520 --> 00:52:45,240 from Picky Asshole himself. 836 00:52:45,320 --> 00:52:50,360 He said, "Each time... I leave a woman, I should burn her. 837 00:52:50,960 --> 00:52:54,160 Destroy the woman, you destroy the past she represents." 838 00:52:54,760 --> 00:52:55,760 Cool guy. 839 00:52:56,760 --> 00:52:59,640 The greatest artist of the twentieth century. 840 00:53:01,880 --> 00:53:04,400 Let's make art great again, guys. 841 00:53:08,800 --> 00:53:11,680 Picasso fucked an underage girl. 842 00:53:12,320 --> 00:53:14,480 And that's it for me. Not interested. 843 00:53:15,440 --> 00:53:16,680 "But cubism... 844 00:53:18,560 --> 00:53:19,760 We need it." 845 00:53:21,040 --> 00:53:24,600 Marie-Thérèse Walter. She was 17 when they met. Underage. 846 00:53:25,160 --> 00:53:29,800 Legally underage. Picasso was 42, married, at the height of his career. 847 00:53:32,160 --> 00:53:33,600 Does it matter? Yeah. 848 00:53:34,280 --> 00:53:36,120 Yeah, it actually does. 849 00:53:36,200 --> 00:53:37,480 It does matter. 850 00:53:37,560 --> 00:53:42,280 But as Picasso said, no, it was perfect. I was in my prime, she was in her prime. 851 00:53:42,920 --> 00:53:46,000 I probably read that when I was 17. Do you know how grim that was? 852 00:53:46,760 --> 00:53:48,720 Oh, I'm in my prime! 853 00:53:53,960 --> 00:53:56,240 Oh, there is no view at my peak. 854 00:53:58,240 --> 00:54:01,720 But I wasn't upset at the time, because I was learning about cubism! 855 00:54:04,000 --> 00:54:06,480 Now, I should qualify this, though. 856 00:54:06,920 --> 00:54:08,000 Cubism is important. 857 00:54:08,720 --> 00:54:11,240 You know, it really is. It was a real game-changer. 858 00:54:11,320 --> 00:54:14,320 Picasso freed us from slavery, people. He really did. 859 00:54:14,760 --> 00:54:17,600 He freed us from the slavery of having to reproduce 860 00:54:17,680 --> 00:54:21,680 believable three-dimensional reality on a two-dimensional surface. 861 00:54:22,160 --> 00:54:24,760 Three-point perspective, that illusion that gives us 862 00:54:24,840 --> 00:54:28,200 the idea of a single stable world view, a single perspective? 863 00:54:28,280 --> 00:54:30,200 Picasso said, "No! 864 00:54:30,800 --> 00:54:35,040 Run free! You can have all perspectives. That's what we need. 865 00:54:35,120 --> 00:54:37,640 From above, from below, inside out, the sides. 866 00:54:37,720 --> 00:54:39,480 All the perspectives at once!" 867 00:54:39,560 --> 00:54:40,760 Thank you, Picasso. 868 00:54:41,600 --> 00:54:42,600 What a guy. 869 00:54:43,320 --> 00:54:45,320 What a hero. Thank you. But tell me, 870 00:54:45,400 --> 00:54:47,560 any of those perspectives a woman's? 871 00:54:49,440 --> 00:54:51,440 No. Well, I'm not fucking interested. 872 00:54:51,520 --> 00:54:53,480 You just put a kaleidoscope filter on your cock. 873 00:54:53,560 --> 00:54:56,160 You're still painting flesh vases for your dick flowers. 874 00:55:01,360 --> 00:55:04,520 Separate the man from the art. That's what I keep hearing. 875 00:55:04,600 --> 00:55:07,440 You've got to learn to separate the man from the art. 876 00:55:07,520 --> 00:55:09,680 The art is important, not the artist. 877 00:55:09,760 --> 00:55:12,720 You've got to learn to separate the man from the art. 878 00:55:13,160 --> 00:55:15,880 Yeah, all right. Okay. Let's give it a go. 879 00:55:16,320 --> 00:55:19,120 How about you take Picasso's name off his little paintings 880 00:55:19,200 --> 00:55:21,320 and see how much his doodles are worth at auction? 881 00:55:21,400 --> 00:55:24,400 Fucking nothing! Nobody owns a circular Lego nude, 882 00:55:24,480 --> 00:55:25,920 they own a Picasso! 883 00:55:27,840 --> 00:55:28,680 Sorry. 884 00:55:29,800 --> 00:55:34,920 You won't hear too many extended sets about art history in a comedy show, so... 885 00:55:36,680 --> 00:55:37,680 you're welcome. 886 00:55:39,920 --> 00:55:41,680 And it's bold, I know. 887 00:55:42,240 --> 00:55:46,520 Comedy is more used to throwaway jokes about priests being pedophiles 888 00:55:46,600 --> 00:55:48,600 and Trump grabbing the pussy. 889 00:55:49,240 --> 00:55:50,920 I don't have time for that shit. 890 00:55:51,840 --> 00:55:52,840 I don't. 891 00:55:53,240 --> 00:55:56,040 Do you know who used to be an easy punch line? 892 00:55:56,720 --> 00:55:57,840 Monica Lewinsky. 893 00:55:58,560 --> 00:56:01,680 Maybe, if comedians had done their job properly, 894 00:56:01,760 --> 00:56:04,440 and made fun of the man who abused his power, 895 00:56:04,520 --> 00:56:06,800 then perhaps we might have had a middle-aged woman 896 00:56:06,880 --> 00:56:09,520 with an appropriate amount of experience in the White House, 897 00:56:09,600 --> 00:56:12,200 instead of, as we do, a man who openly admitted 898 00:56:12,280 --> 00:56:15,920 to sexually assaulting vulnerable young women because he could. 899 00:56:16,000 --> 00:56:18,000 [audience cheers] 900 00:56:20,680 --> 00:56:22,680 [cheering continues] 901 00:56:27,440 --> 00:56:30,680 Do you know what should be the target of our jokes at the moment? 902 00:56:31,080 --> 00:56:33,080 Our obsession with reputation. 903 00:56:33,640 --> 00:56:37,360 We're obsessed. We think reputation is more important than anything else, 904 00:56:37,440 --> 00:56:39,160 including humanity. 905 00:56:39,240 --> 00:56:42,920 And do you know who takes the mantle of this myopic adulation 906 00:56:43,360 --> 00:56:44,520 of reputation? 907 00:56:44,920 --> 00:56:48,600 Celebrities. And comedians are not immune. 908 00:56:48,680 --> 00:56:51,720 They're all cut from the same cloth. 909 00:56:51,800 --> 00:56:53,960 Donald Trump, Pablo Picasso, 910 00:56:54,040 --> 00:56:55,600 Harvey Weinstein, 911 00:56:56,040 --> 00:56:58,800 Bill Cosby, Woody Allen, Roman Polanski. 912 00:56:59,960 --> 00:57:02,920 These men are not exceptions, they are the rule. 913 00:57:03,000 --> 00:57:05,520 And they are not individuals, they are our stories. 914 00:57:05,600 --> 00:57:08,360 And the moral of our story is, "We don't give a shit. 915 00:57:08,440 --> 00:57:11,440 We don't give a fuck... about women or children. 916 00:57:11,920 --> 00:57:14,680 We only care about a man's reputation." 917 00:57:15,480 --> 00:57:17,240 What about his humanity? 918 00:57:17,760 --> 00:57:20,760 These men control our stories! 919 00:57:20,840 --> 00:57:24,200 And yet they have a diminishing connection to their own humanity, 920 00:57:24,280 --> 00:57:26,000 and we don't seem to mind 921 00:57:26,080 --> 00:57:29,600 so long as they get to hold onto their precious reputation. 922 00:57:30,480 --> 00:57:33,520 Fuck reputation. Hindsight is a gift. 923 00:57:33,600 --> 00:57:36,200 Stop wasting my time! 924 00:57:37,720 --> 00:57:38,760 If you... 925 00:57:40,400 --> 00:57:41,920 Look, I am angry. 926 00:57:44,480 --> 00:57:46,000 I apologize. 927 00:57:46,440 --> 00:57:49,040 I do, I apologize. I know... 928 00:57:49,120 --> 00:57:52,520 I know there's a few people in the room going, "Now, look... 929 00:57:52,600 --> 00:57:55,760 I think... she's lost control of the tension." 930 00:57:57,840 --> 00:57:59,920 That's correct. I went on it a bit there. 931 00:58:01,200 --> 00:58:03,920 So, I'm not very experienced in controlling anger. 932 00:58:04,000 --> 00:58:07,440 It's not my place to be angry on a comedy stage. I'm meant to be doing... 933 00:58:07,520 --> 00:58:09,000 self-deprecating humor. 934 00:58:10,560 --> 00:58:13,760 People feel safer when men do the angry comedy. 935 00:58:13,840 --> 00:58:15,440 They're the kings of the genre. 936 00:58:15,800 --> 00:58:20,160 When I do it, I'm a miserable lesbian, ruining all the fun and the banter. 937 00:58:20,240 --> 00:58:23,080 When men do it, heroes of free speech. 938 00:58:24,960 --> 00:58:27,680 I love... angry white man comedy. 939 00:58:29,040 --> 00:58:31,320 It's so funny, it's hilarious. 940 00:58:32,680 --> 00:58:34,560 They're adorable. Why are they angry? 941 00:58:37,680 --> 00:58:39,120 What's up, little fella? 942 00:58:41,440 --> 00:58:44,240 What are they angry about? Gosh, can't work it out. 943 00:58:44,320 --> 00:58:46,920 They're like the canaries in the mine, aren't they? 944 00:58:47,360 --> 00:58:49,120 If they're having a tough time... 945 00:58:49,640 --> 00:58:51,040 the rest of us are goners. 946 00:58:54,160 --> 00:58:57,480 Do you remember that story about that young man who almost beat me up? 947 00:58:57,560 --> 00:58:59,040 It was a very funny story. 948 00:58:59,120 --> 00:59:03,160 It was very funny, I made a lot of people laugh about his ignorance, 949 00:59:03,240 --> 00:59:06,560 and the reason I could do that is because I'm very good at this job. 950 00:59:06,640 --> 00:59:09,320 I actually am pretty good at controlling the tension. 951 00:59:09,400 --> 00:59:12,720 And I know how to balance that to get the laugh at the right place. 952 00:59:13,480 --> 00:59:16,120 But in order to balance the tension in the room with that story, 953 00:59:16,200 --> 00:59:18,760 I couldn't tell that story as it actually happened. 954 00:59:20,080 --> 00:59:24,600 Because I couldn't tell the part of the story where that man realized his mistake. 955 00:59:25,280 --> 00:59:26,480 And he came back. 956 00:59:27,200 --> 00:59:29,000 And he said, "Oh, no, I get it. 957 00:59:29,480 --> 00:59:30,920 You're a lady faggot. 958 00:59:31,480 --> 00:59:35,600 I'm allowed to beat the shit out of you," and he did! 959 00:59:36,640 --> 00:59:40,720 He beat the shit out of me and nobody stopped him. 960 00:59:42,040 --> 00:59:44,600 And I didn't... report that to the police, 961 00:59:44,680 --> 00:59:47,880 and I did not take myself to hospital, and I should have. 962 00:59:49,720 --> 00:59:51,040 And you know why I didn't? 963 00:59:52,240 --> 00:59:55,840 It's because I thought that was all I was worth. 964 00:59:57,600 --> 01:00:00,920 And that is what happens when you soak one child in shame 965 01:00:01,000 --> 01:00:03,920 and give permission to another to hate. 966 01:00:04,000 --> 01:00:07,840 And that was not homophobia, pure and simple, people. That was gendered. 967 01:00:08,000 --> 01:00:11,240 If I'd been feminine, that would not have happened. 968 01:00:11,600 --> 01:00:13,560 I am incorrectly female. 969 01:00:13,640 --> 01:00:17,040 I am incorrect, and that is a punishable offense. 970 01:00:18,320 --> 01:00:22,400 And this tension, it's yours. I am not helping you anymore. 971 01:00:22,560 --> 01:00:26,520 You need to learn what this feels like because this... this tension 972 01:00:26,600 --> 01:00:30,600 is what not-normals carry inside of them all of the time 973 01:00:30,680 --> 01:00:33,040 because it is dangerous to be different! 974 01:00:34,720 --> 01:00:35,720 To the men... 975 01:00:36,880 --> 01:00:40,320 to the men in the room, I speak to you now, particularly the white men, 976 01:00:40,400 --> 01:00:42,120 especially the straight white men. 977 01:00:43,400 --> 01:00:45,600 Pull your fucking socks up! 978 01:00:47,480 --> 01:00:49,160 How humiliating! 979 01:00:50,000 --> 01:00:52,000 Fashion advice from a lesbian. 980 01:00:52,080 --> 01:00:53,840 That is your last joke. 981 01:01:08,640 --> 01:01:10,000 All my life, 982 01:01:10,080 --> 01:01:12,360 I've been told that I'm a man-hater. 983 01:01:12,440 --> 01:01:14,800 I don't hate men, I honestly do not. 984 01:01:16,320 --> 01:01:17,520 I don't hate men. 985 01:01:20,680 --> 01:01:21,560 But... 986 01:01:23,240 --> 01:01:24,360 there's a problem. 987 01:01:26,000 --> 01:01:29,440 See, I don't even believe that women are better than men. 988 01:01:29,520 --> 01:01:33,840 I believe women are just as corruptible by power as men, 989 01:01:33,920 --> 01:01:38,320 because you know what, fellas, you don't have a monopoly on the human condition, 990 01:01:38,400 --> 01:01:39,640 you arrogant fucks. 991 01:01:40,880 --> 01:01:44,160 But the story is as you have told it. 992 01:01:44,240 --> 01:01:46,320 Power belongs to you. 993 01:01:47,160 --> 01:01:49,280 And if you can't handle criticism, 994 01:01:49,360 --> 01:01:50,720 take a joke, 995 01:01:50,800 --> 01:01:53,400 or deal with your own tension without violence, 996 01:01:53,480 --> 01:01:55,880 you have to wonder if you are up to the task 997 01:01:55,960 --> 01:01:57,560 of being in charge. 998 01:01:58,840 --> 01:02:01,960 I'm not a man-hater. But I'm afraid of men. 999 01:02:02,040 --> 01:02:04,920 If I'm the only woman in a room full of men, I am afraid. 1000 01:02:05,000 --> 01:02:08,920 And if you think that's unusual, you're not speaking to the women in your life. 1001 01:02:09,920 --> 01:02:14,560 I don't hate men, but I wonder how a man would feel if they'd lived my life. 1002 01:02:15,440 --> 01:02:19,240 Because it was a man who sexually abused me when I was a child. 1003 01:02:19,600 --> 01:02:23,880 It was a man who beat the shit out of me when I was 17, my prime. 1004 01:02:24,560 --> 01:02:28,680 It was two men who raped me when I was barely in my twenties. 1005 01:02:29,240 --> 01:02:30,960 Tell me why is that okay. 1006 01:02:31,040 --> 01:02:35,400 Why was it okay to pick me off the pack like that and do that to me? 1007 01:02:36,080 --> 01:02:39,080 It would have been more humane to just take me out to the back paddock 1008 01:02:39,160 --> 01:02:40,760 and put a bullet in my head 1009 01:02:40,840 --> 01:02:43,920 if it is that much of a crime to be different! 1010 01:02:46,520 --> 01:02:48,040 I don't tell you this... 1011 01:02:49,320 --> 01:02:51,080 so you think of me as a victim. 1012 01:02:51,560 --> 01:02:56,200 I am not a victim. I tell you this because my story has value. 1013 01:02:57,880 --> 01:02:59,720 My story has value. 1014 01:03:00,200 --> 01:03:04,160 I tell you this 'cause I want you to know, I need you to know, what I know. 1015 01:03:04,240 --> 01:03:07,440 To be rendered powerless does not destroy your humanity. 1016 01:03:07,520 --> 01:03:09,600 Your resilience is your humanity. 1017 01:03:10,120 --> 01:03:14,440 The only people who lose their humanity are those who believe they have the right 1018 01:03:14,520 --> 01:03:17,040 to render another human being powerless. 1019 01:03:17,120 --> 01:03:18,480 They are the weak. 1020 01:03:19,360 --> 01:03:23,120 To yield and not break, that is incredible strength. 1021 01:03:26,480 --> 01:03:29,800 You destroy the woman, you destroy the past she represents. 1022 01:03:30,320 --> 01:03:32,600 I will not allow my story... 1023 01:03:33,760 --> 01:03:34,960 to be destroyed. 1024 01:03:35,600 --> 01:03:38,600 What I would have done to have heard a story like mine. 1025 01:03:39,520 --> 01:03:40,840 Not for blame. 1026 01:03:40,920 --> 01:03:44,040 Not for reputation, not for money, not for power. 1027 01:03:44,120 --> 01:03:45,920 But to feel less alone. 1028 01:03:46,600 --> 01:03:48,200 To feel connected. 1029 01:03:49,320 --> 01:03:51,880 I want my story... heard. 1030 01:03:51,960 --> 01:03:55,520 Because, ironically, I believe Picasso was right. 1031 01:03:56,160 --> 01:03:58,240 I believe we could paint a better world 1032 01:03:58,720 --> 01:04:01,760 if we learned how to see it from all perspectives, 1033 01:04:01,840 --> 01:04:04,520 as many perspectives as we possibly could. 1034 01:04:05,120 --> 01:04:07,360 Because diversity is strength. 1035 01:04:08,680 --> 01:04:10,680 Difference is a teacher. 1036 01:04:11,320 --> 01:04:14,160 Fear difference, you learn nothing. 1037 01:04:15,480 --> 01:04:17,840 Picasso's mistake was his arrogance. 1038 01:04:18,200 --> 01:04:21,280 He assumed he could represent all of the perspectives. 1039 01:04:21,360 --> 01:04:23,800 And our mistake was to invalidate 1040 01:04:24,560 --> 01:04:28,280 the perspective of a 17-year-old girl, because we believed 1041 01:04:28,360 --> 01:04:32,600 her potential... was never going to equal his. 1042 01:04:34,720 --> 01:04:37,320 Hindsight is a gift. 1043 01:04:37,400 --> 01:04:40,160 Can you stop wasting my time? 1044 01:04:41,520 --> 01:04:47,120 A 17-year-old girl is just never, ever, ever in her prime! 1045 01:04:47,200 --> 01:04:48,200 Ever! 1046 01:04:49,080 --> 01:04:50,640 I am in my prime! 1047 01:04:51,120 --> 01:04:53,440 Would you test your strength out on me? 1048 01:04:53,520 --> 01:04:58,640 [audience applauds] 1049 01:04:58,720 --> 01:05:03,080 There is no way anyone would dare... 1050 01:05:04,320 --> 01:05:06,320 test their strength out on me, 1051 01:05:06,400 --> 01:05:09,920 because you all know... there is nothing stronger 1052 01:05:10,000 --> 01:05:13,280 then a broken woman who has rebuilt herself. 1053 01:05:13,360 --> 01:05:17,440 [audience cheers] 1054 01:05:25,160 --> 01:05:26,240 To the men in the room... 1055 01:05:28,280 --> 01:05:32,280 who feel I may have been persecuting you this evening... 1056 01:05:33,280 --> 01:05:34,280 well spotted. 1057 01:05:39,560 --> 01:05:41,800 That's pretty much what I've done there. 1058 01:05:43,320 --> 01:05:44,920 But this is theater, fellas. 1059 01:05:45,280 --> 01:05:47,280 I've given you an hour, a taste. 1060 01:05:49,040 --> 01:05:50,920 I have lived a life. 1061 01:05:52,000 --> 01:05:54,800 The damage done to me is real and debilitating. 1062 01:05:54,880 --> 01:05:56,360 I will never flourish. 1063 01:05:57,480 --> 01:06:00,720 But this is why... I must quit comedy. 1064 01:06:00,800 --> 01:06:02,000 Because the only way... 1065 01:06:03,120 --> 01:06:06,640 I can tell my truth and put tension in the room is with anger. 1066 01:06:08,160 --> 01:06:11,280 And I am angry, and I believe I've got every right to be angry! 1067 01:06:11,360 --> 01:06:14,680 But what I don't have a right to do is to spread anger. 1068 01:06:15,360 --> 01:06:16,360 I don't. 1069 01:06:17,000 --> 01:06:19,480 Because anger, much like laughter, 1070 01:06:19,560 --> 01:06:22,480 can connect a room full of strangers like nothing else. 1071 01:06:23,280 --> 01:06:28,560 But anger, even if it's connected to laughter, will not... relieve tension. 1072 01:06:28,640 --> 01:06:30,360 Because anger is a tension. 1073 01:06:30,440 --> 01:06:34,600 It is a toxic, infectious... tension. 1074 01:06:35,160 --> 01:06:39,040 And it knows no other purpose than to spread blind hatred, 1075 01:06:39,120 --> 01:06:40,560 and I want no part of it. 1076 01:06:40,640 --> 01:06:43,680 Because I take my freedom of speech as a responsibility, 1077 01:06:43,760 --> 01:06:46,320 and just because I can position myself as a victim, 1078 01:06:46,400 --> 01:06:48,520 does not make my anger constructive. 1079 01:06:48,640 --> 01:06:51,160 It never is constructive. 1080 01:06:53,000 --> 01:06:55,000 Laughter is not our medicine. 1081 01:06:56,320 --> 01:06:58,120 Stories hold our cure. 1082 01:06:59,280 --> 01:07:02,880 Laughter is just the honey that sweetens the bitter medicine. 1083 01:07:04,400 --> 01:07:07,800 I don't want to unite you with laughter or anger. 1084 01:07:09,840 --> 01:07:12,200 I just needed my story heard, 1085 01:07:12,360 --> 01:07:14,920 my story felt and understood 1086 01:07:15,800 --> 01:07:18,800 by individuals with minds of their own. 1087 01:07:19,520 --> 01:07:23,000 Because, like it or not, your story... is my story. 1088 01:07:23,520 --> 01:07:26,000 And my story... is your story. 1089 01:07:27,360 --> 01:07:31,560 I just don't have the strength to take care of my story anymore. 1090 01:07:31,640 --> 01:07:34,880 I don't want my story defined by anger. 1091 01:07:36,040 --> 01:07:40,320 All I can ask is just please help me take care of my story. 1092 01:07:41,880 --> 01:07:44,000 Do you know why we have the sunflowers? 1093 01:07:45,480 --> 01:07:48,280 It's not because Vincent van Gogh suffered. 1094 01:07:49,240 --> 01:07:52,320 It's because Vincent van Gogh had a brother who loved him. 1095 01:07:53,240 --> 01:07:58,160 Through all the pain, he had a tether, a connection to the world. 1096 01:07:58,800 --> 01:08:01,360 And that... is the focus 1097 01:08:02,040 --> 01:08:04,240 of the story we need. 1098 01:08:04,960 --> 01:08:06,000 Connection. 1099 01:08:06,920 --> 01:08:08,080 Thank you. 1100 01:08:08,200 --> 01:08:10,200 [audience cheers] 1101 01:08:17,640 --> 01:08:18,520 ["Bobby Reid" plays] 1102 01:08:18,600 --> 01:08:21,520 ♪ Then you hang up the phone ♪ 1103 01:08:21,600 --> 01:08:25,320 ♪ And feel badly for upsetting things ♪ 1104 01:08:25,400 --> 01:08:27,600 ♪ Crawl back into bed ♪ 1105 01:08:27,680 --> 01:08:30,880 ♪ To dream of a time ♪ 1106 01:08:30,960 --> 01:08:34,160 ♪ When your heart was open wide ♪ 1107 01:08:34,240 --> 01:08:37,360 ♪ And you loved things just because ♪ 1108 01:08:37,440 --> 01:08:40,680 ♪ Like the sick and the dying ♪ 1109 01:08:43,840 --> 01:08:47,080 ♪ And sometimes when you're on ♪ 1110 01:08:47,160 --> 01:08:50,160 ♪ You're really fucking on ♪ 1111 01:08:50,240 --> 01:08:52,920 ♪ And your friends, they sing along ♪ 1112 01:08:53,000 --> 01:08:55,480 ♪ And they love you ♪ 1113 01:08:56,000 --> 01:08:59,920 ♪ But the lows are so extreme ♪ 1114 01:09:00,000 --> 01:09:02,800 ♪ The good seems fucking cheap ♪ 1115 01:09:02,880 --> 01:09:05,600 ♪ And it teases you for weeks ♪ 1116 01:09:05,680 --> 01:09:08,080 ♪ In its absence ♪ 1117 01:09:08,680 --> 01:09:10,600 ♪ But you'll fight ♪ 1118 01:09:10,680 --> 01:09:12,400 ♪ And you'll make it through ♪ 1119 01:09:12,480 --> 01:09:15,400 ♪ You'll fake it if you have to ♪ 1120 01:09:15,480 --> 01:09:17,920 ♪ And you'll show up for work ♪ 1121 01:09:18,000 --> 01:09:20,360 ♪ With a smile ♪ 1122 01:09:21,320 --> 01:09:24,840 ♪ And you'll be better And you'll be smarter ♪ 1123 01:09:24,920 --> 01:09:27,720 ♪ And more grown-up And a better daughter ♪ 1124 01:09:28,280 --> 01:09:33,640 ♪ Or son, and a real good friend... ♪ 124489

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