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1
00:00:00,097 --> 00:00:02,893
sync & correction by f1nc0
~ Addic7ed.com ~
2
00:00:03,528 --> 00:00:05,838
This kills me.
"Sasquatch stole my phone"?
3
00:00:05,840 --> 00:00:07,740
What's Bigfoot going to do
with a phone?
4
00:00:07,775 --> 00:00:10,276
- Go on Tinder?
- He can't go on Tinder.
5
00:00:10,310 --> 00:00:11,512
His profile picture
would be too blurry.
6
00:00:11,513 --> 00:00:14,280
How can anyone be stupid
enough to believe in Sasquatch?
7
00:00:14,314 --> 00:00:15,681
I mean, what kind
of bonehead would...
8
00:00:15,682 --> 00:00:17,283
Oh yeah, right, I forgot.
You believe.
9
00:00:17,284 --> 00:00:19,548
Well, I wouldn't say
I "believe" believe.
10
00:00:19,583 --> 00:00:21,487
I'm just open-minded
to the possibility
11
00:00:21,522 --> 00:00:23,222
of a huge, hairy,
primordial primate
12
00:00:23,257 --> 00:00:25,324
strolling through the
countryside undetected.
13
00:00:25,325 --> 00:00:27,165
I'm sorry,
but I won't be getting on board
14
00:00:27,339 --> 00:00:29,863
- until there's some proof.
- Oh, sure, but you believe in gravity.
15
00:00:29,864 --> 00:00:32,865
- Pardon?
- Gravity. You've never seen it.
16
00:00:32,866 --> 00:00:34,434
You can't hear it,
you can't feel it.
17
00:00:34,435 --> 00:00:36,302
If I pushed you off a roof,
you'd feel it.
18
00:00:36,303 --> 00:00:39,172
You can't smell it.
At least you can smell a Sasquatch.
19
00:00:39,206 --> 00:00:41,774
It's like a diarrhetic skunk,
according to eyewitnesses.
20
00:00:41,809 --> 00:00:44,378
- And nose-witnesses.
- How about unicorns?
21
00:00:44,379 --> 00:00:46,546
I hear they smell like lavender
and fresh muffins.
22
00:00:46,580 --> 00:00:48,280
You believe in them too?
23
00:00:49,883 --> 00:00:51,884
[Sasquatch giggling]
[music]
24
00:00:51,886 --> 00:00:53,586
[unicorn neighs angrily]
25
00:00:53,654 --> 00:00:55,555
[grunts]
26
00:00:58,692 --> 00:00:59,893
[groans, shrieks]
27
00:00:59,894 --> 00:01:02,295
You're thinking
about which one would win
28
00:01:02,296 --> 00:01:04,897
- in a fight, aren't you?
- It's too close to call.
29
00:01:04,898 --> 00:01:08,434
♪ You'd think there's not
a lot going on ♪ [title music]
30
00:01:08,502 --> 00:01:11,871
♪ Look closer baby,
you're so wrong ♪
31
00:01:13,119 --> 00:01:15,222
1x02 - Sasquatch Your Language
32
00:01:15,257 --> 00:01:17,910
...and then, just when
you think Prince Hadduron
33
00:01:17,911 --> 00:01:19,745
is going to sign
the declaration of peace,
34
00:01:19,780 --> 00:01:23,749
he spins around and... sklop!
chops off Lord Farnax's head.
35
00:01:23,751 --> 00:01:26,519
- Can you believe it?
- I can't even understand it.
36
00:01:26,520 --> 00:01:28,921
I know!
What's his motivation?
37
00:01:28,922 --> 00:01:32,458
No, I don't understand
the words you're saying.
38
00:01:32,460 --> 00:01:34,360
I don't watch
your stupid War Monarch show.
39
00:01:34,394 --> 00:01:38,564
It's not War Monarch.
It's Throne Strife,
40
00:01:38,599 --> 00:01:39,699
and I can't believe
you're not into it!
41
00:01:39,700 --> 00:01:44,437
- You're such an Elflock.
- Yeah, that's me in a nutshell.
42
00:01:45,472 --> 00:01:47,740
Hey, Hank.
I was hoping you'd come in today.
43
00:01:47,741 --> 00:01:50,776
- Really?
- I know. Sounded weird to me too.
44
00:01:50,844 --> 00:01:53,479
What's up?
Oh, can't reach the top shelf?
45
00:01:53,480 --> 00:01:55,948
No. Jerk.
Do you have a jigsaw?
46
00:01:55,949 --> 00:01:57,917
How's a puzzle gonna
help you put milk away?
47
00:01:57,951 --> 00:02:00,820
How about you just shut your
question hole and listen?
48
00:02:00,821 --> 00:02:01,955
I'm planning a little something
to trick Brent,
49
00:02:01,956 --> 00:02:04,958
- and I could use your help.
- O-Oh, I-I don't know.
50
00:02:04,959 --> 00:02:07,660
Tricking?
That's a slippery slope.
51
00:02:07,694 --> 00:02:10,696
Not tricking, exactly.
More of a hoax.
52
00:02:10,697 --> 00:02:13,333
Hoax?
That's a rich man's lie.
53
00:02:13,334 --> 00:02:14,534
No, it's not lying.
54
00:02:14,535 --> 00:02:16,269
It's just...
It's like play-acting.
55
00:02:16,303 --> 00:02:17,870
For entertainment purposes.
56
00:02:17,871 --> 00:02:20,273
Well, I did do a little acting
in high school.
57
00:02:20,274 --> 00:02:22,909
I was in an all-male
production of Reservoir Dogs.
58
00:02:22,910 --> 00:02:25,578
[gasps] I remember.
You were the waitress.
59
00:02:25,579 --> 00:02:27,947
Hey, why are you guys
named after colours?
60
00:02:27,981 --> 00:02:31,651
Mr. Pink, Mr. Blue...
more like "Rainbow" Dogs.
61
00:02:31,653 --> 00:02:34,320
I didn't have any lines,
but I improv'd some stuff.
62
00:02:34,354 --> 00:02:36,489
They were wrong to cut you.
63
00:02:36,557 --> 00:02:37,924
If you start now,
64
00:02:37,925 --> 00:02:40,560
you could catch up on all
the episodes in about a month.
65
00:02:40,561 --> 00:02:43,429
It would mean watching 12
hours a day, but doable.
66
00:02:43,430 --> 00:02:45,765
Because this conversation
isn't wasting enough of my life?
67
00:02:45,766 --> 00:02:47,900
Are you guys talking
about Throne Strife?
68
00:02:47,935 --> 00:02:49,669
He's talking. I'm glazing.
69
00:02:49,736 --> 00:02:52,705
I love Throne Strife!
Did you see the last episode,
70
00:02:52,706 --> 00:02:54,907
when Prince Hadduron
spun around and...
71
00:02:54,942 --> 00:02:56,510
[together]
...chopped Farnax's head off!
72
00:02:56,511 --> 00:02:59,445
- Ugh. [thump]
- Yeah! It looked just like that.
73
00:02:59,573 --> 00:03:01,941
- Hi, Brent.
- Hey, do you believe in gravity?
74
00:03:01,942 --> 00:03:04,844
Well, it's helpful
when it comes to pouring things,
75
00:03:04,845 --> 00:03:07,397
- so I suppose I do.
- Sasquatches?
76
00:03:07,398 --> 00:03:09,849
Did I black out and miss
a chunk of this conversation?
77
00:03:09,850 --> 00:03:12,618
I knew it! You don't
believe in Sasquatch either.
78
00:03:12,619 --> 00:03:14,319
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
slow down and start over.
79
00:03:14,321 --> 00:03:16,622
- You know what it is?
- Still no.
80
00:03:16,623 --> 00:03:19,458
You're from the big city, and
when you grow up in the big city,
81
00:03:19,460 --> 00:03:21,761
it closes you off from anything
that isn't completely concrete.
82
00:03:21,763 --> 00:03:23,229
You have a concrete mind.
83
00:03:23,230 --> 00:03:24,497
And now you're insulting me
for no reason?
84
00:03:24,498 --> 00:03:25,765
You're a product
of your environment.
85
00:03:25,766 --> 00:03:28,301
- I forgive you.
- Well, bless you, Father.
86
00:03:28,302 --> 00:03:30,703
Now, could I grab a coffee to go?
I've got to get back to the station,
87
00:03:30,704 --> 00:03:32,772
because Wanda isn't around
for some reason.
88
00:03:32,774 --> 00:03:35,975
Maybe she got kidnapped by
a Sasquatch. Serve her right.
89
00:03:35,976 --> 00:03:38,744
You know, I don't find that
very funny at all!
90
00:03:38,812 --> 00:03:40,513
Okay...
91
00:03:40,547 --> 00:03:43,382
Not my best joke,
but sheesh, lighten up.
92
00:03:43,917 --> 00:03:47,520
And there's the other one.
Hey, these look pretty good.
93
00:03:47,554 --> 00:03:50,423
Huh? Uh-oh.
I made two left feet.
94
00:03:50,424 --> 00:03:52,258
Just flip one over.
95
00:03:52,260 --> 00:03:54,393
Then you'll be walking
in circles.
96
00:03:54,428 --> 00:03:56,930
I'll take over from here.
You go rest your brain.
97
00:03:56,931 --> 00:04:00,500
...but if Lord Zolwort
marries the Dark Duchess,
98
00:04:00,534 --> 00:04:02,936
- there will have to be a treaty.
- Ooh.
99
00:04:02,937 --> 00:04:06,305
I'm so glad to have someone
to talk to about this stuff.
100
00:04:06,340 --> 00:04:09,575
You know, this may be
a little awkward, but...
101
00:04:09,610 --> 00:04:11,844
There's a Throne Strife
cosplay convention in the city,
102
00:04:11,879 --> 00:04:14,948
and you want me to go with you,
and I'd love to!
103
00:04:14,949 --> 00:04:17,216
That was the opposite of awkward.
104
00:04:17,251 --> 00:04:19,752
- Hey, Oscar.
- Hey yourself.
105
00:04:19,753 --> 00:04:21,454
I guess with Emma
hanging out with Davis
106
00:04:21,488 --> 00:04:23,456
and Davis
hanging out with Emma,
107
00:04:23,524 --> 00:04:25,925
- you and I have to hang out.
- No, we don't.
108
00:04:25,926 --> 00:04:27,960
Well, it beats talking
about goblins and muppets!
109
00:04:27,962 --> 00:04:30,463
So... if we're going
to be hanging out...
110
00:04:30,531 --> 00:04:32,933
- We're not.
- what kind of stuff are you into?
111
00:04:32,968 --> 00:04:34,967
Sports? Huh?
What's your favourite team?
112
00:04:34,968 --> 00:04:36,435
The Boston Bruins?
113
00:04:36,436 --> 00:04:39,772
- The Winnipeg Jets?
- The Zipyer Lips.
114
00:04:41,575 --> 00:04:43,342
[snoring]
115
00:04:43,377 --> 00:04:44,343
[giggling outside]
116
00:04:44,344 --> 00:04:46,044
This is going to be great!
117
00:04:46,046 --> 00:04:47,313
[giggles, snorts]
118
00:04:47,314 --> 00:04:49,816
Shh! Quit giggling.
You're going to wake Brent up.
119
00:04:49,817 --> 00:04:53,319
Oh, you scared, Hank?
Scared of the 'Squatch?
120
00:04:53,387 --> 00:04:55,588
Rrrrgghrrrh!
121
00:04:55,622 --> 00:04:57,490
Quit freaking me out!
122
00:04:57,558 --> 00:04:59,025
- Ho!
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
123
00:04:59,026 --> 00:05:00,893
Ughhh!
124
00:05:00,928 --> 00:05:03,495
I could have got a jigsaw
from anyone.
125
00:05:04,398 --> 00:05:05,698
Drop me off
at Oscar and Emma's,
126
00:05:05,699 --> 00:05:08,768
- then pick me up in a couple hours.
- What? Why?
127
00:05:08,769 --> 00:05:10,636
Emma's going to help me
with my cosplay outfit
128
00:05:10,671 --> 00:05:12,605
for the Throne Strife convention.
129
00:05:12,639 --> 00:05:16,309
You know we're not like volunteer
firemen. This is a real job.
130
00:05:16,343 --> 00:05:18,945
Emma!
I'm going out.
131
00:05:18,979 --> 00:05:22,315
- Hi, Oscar. Emma home?
- How should I know?
132
00:05:22,316 --> 00:05:23,749
Hey, Oscar.
Where you headed?
133
00:05:23,750 --> 00:05:25,651
I'm going down
to the corner of Shut-Up
134
00:05:25,686 --> 00:05:29,858
- and Mind-Your-Own-Business.
- I'll give you a lift.
135
00:05:30,324 --> 00:05:31,457
Hey, Hank.
136
00:05:31,458 --> 00:05:33,926
Uh... Oh, yeah, yeah.
Uh, hey, Brent.
137
00:05:33,961 --> 00:05:36,762
You okay? You look like
you maybe killed a guy
138
00:05:36,763 --> 00:05:38,831
and hid his body
and then forgot where.
139
00:05:38,899 --> 00:05:41,768
- I wish that's all it was.
- If something's bothering you,
140
00:05:41,769 --> 00:05:44,804
- best to get it off your chest.
- Uh, well, it's just...
141
00:05:44,838 --> 00:05:46,739
- Hi, Hank. Whatcha doin'?
- Nothing.
142
00:05:46,740 --> 00:05:48,874
I didn't say something.
Or anything like that.
143
00:05:48,875 --> 00:05:50,711
Oh, Wanda,
I'm glad you're here.
144
00:05:50,712 --> 00:05:53,980
I'm dying to tell you about the
tracks I found around my house.
145
00:05:54,014 --> 00:05:56,983
- What manner of tracks?
- Well, don't laugh,
146
00:05:56,984 --> 00:05:58,417
but they look
like Sasquatch tracks.
147
00:05:58,418 --> 00:06:00,886
- No!
- I know!
148
00:06:00,887 --> 00:06:02,722
But I can't be
a hundred percent certain.
149
00:06:02,789 --> 00:06:05,024
That's because they're...
[smack, groan]
150
00:06:05,025 --> 00:06:07,460
Let him finish, Hank.
Why aren't you convinced?
151
00:06:07,461 --> 00:06:09,395
There weren't any
discernible dermal ridges,
152
00:06:09,429 --> 00:06:11,831
like fingerprints.
All the quality tracks have them.
153
00:06:11,832 --> 00:06:13,400
If there were dermal ridges,
154
00:06:13,401 --> 00:06:15,835
I'd be a hundred percent sure
they were authentic.
155
00:06:18,505 --> 00:06:21,040
- Ugh.
- Hasn't this gone far enough?
156
00:06:21,041 --> 00:06:23,943
This is slow slogging
and my hands are cramping,
157
00:06:24,011 --> 00:06:26,812
but it'll be worth it once I...
Aah-ow!
158
00:06:26,813 --> 00:06:29,815
- Dirty son of a...
- That hurt?
159
00:06:29,850 --> 00:06:31,752
- Put your thumb down here.
- No.
160
00:06:31,753 --> 00:06:34,620
- Put your head down here.
- No.
161
00:06:34,621 --> 00:06:36,321
[slurps]
162
00:06:38,112 --> 00:06:39,686
Come on.
163
00:06:39,687 --> 00:06:42,189
I'm trying to get to know you
a bit better here.
164
00:06:42,463 --> 00:06:45,365
You must have some
hobbies, interests...
165
00:06:45,433 --> 00:06:47,500
Hobbies are stupid
and interests are boring.
166
00:06:47,502 --> 00:06:51,171
Hey! Are those supposed
to be tomatoes or grapes?
167
00:06:51,173 --> 00:06:53,306
Tehhh!
Pretty weak effort!
168
00:06:53,341 --> 00:06:55,375
They're grape tomatoes!
169
00:06:55,377 --> 00:06:59,045
But you must like something.
Movies? Books?
170
00:06:59,080 --> 00:07:02,782
- Birdwatching?
- Too loud, too quiet, too nosey!
171
00:07:02,817 --> 00:07:06,086
Hey!
Pick up after your stupid dog!
172
00:07:06,087 --> 00:07:08,588
What the hell do you think
this is, potato salad?
173
00:07:08,589 --> 00:07:11,124
Aha!
You do have a hobby, Oscar.
174
00:07:11,125 --> 00:07:13,026
It's being a crotchety crank!
175
00:07:13,028 --> 00:07:15,929
He wasn't picking up
his dog's dump.
176
00:07:15,963 --> 00:07:19,265
It was literally in his hand
the whole time!
177
00:07:19,300 --> 00:07:22,502
Your outfit
is coming along great.
178
00:07:22,536 --> 00:07:24,938
Thanks.
Not sure if you can tell,
179
00:07:24,939 --> 00:07:27,006
but I'm a warrior of Sheffling.
180
00:07:27,041 --> 00:07:30,344
Of course I can.
Can you tell that I'm Draxella,
181
00:07:30,345 --> 00:07:31,878
Queen Mother of the Lizardians?
182
00:07:31,879 --> 00:07:34,447
- You totally nailed it.
- Really?
183
00:07:34,448 --> 00:07:37,218
- Because I don't see any bowing.
- Sorry!
184
00:07:37,219 --> 00:07:39,018
Ring kiss.
[kisses]
185
00:07:39,053 --> 00:07:40,753
Scepter smooch.
186
00:07:41,389 --> 00:07:43,022
Damn straight.
187
00:07:43,023 --> 00:07:46,292
So I complain a bit.
It's good for the community.
188
00:07:46,293 --> 00:07:47,894
I tell idiots they're idiots,
189
00:07:47,895 --> 00:07:50,463
the idiots thereby learn
they're idiots, it's win-win!
190
00:07:50,464 --> 00:07:53,299
I'm just saying,
I think you complain too much,
191
00:07:53,334 --> 00:07:55,168
and you're too loud
right out of the gate.
192
00:07:55,202 --> 00:07:57,470
- Too yelly. Is that a word?
- See?
193
00:07:57,471 --> 00:07:58,471
See what?
194
00:07:58,472 --> 00:07:59,906
[laughs]
195
00:07:59,907 --> 00:08:02,142
You just complained
about my complaining.
196
00:08:02,176 --> 00:08:03,576
Yeah, but that's...
197
00:08:03,577 --> 00:08:08,595
- I-I-I'm just...
- Feels good, doesn't it? [chuckles]
198
00:08:09,250 --> 00:08:11,885
- Hey, you staying for another?
- Ah, I don't think so.
199
00:08:11,886 --> 00:08:13,086
The one bottle of red wine
they have
200
00:08:13,087 --> 00:08:14,421
has been sitting open since Christmas.
201
00:08:14,422 --> 00:08:17,424
Come on. I could tell you all
about the Sasquatch tracks I found.
202
00:08:17,425 --> 00:08:19,492
- Really?
- Well, no, not really.
203
00:08:19,493 --> 00:08:22,295
Wanda is screwing with me, so
I'm screwing with her right back.
204
00:08:22,329 --> 00:08:23,596
Going to make her
jump through a few hoops
205
00:08:23,597 --> 00:08:26,599
because no one screws
with the screwmaster.
206
00:08:26,667 --> 00:08:29,269
Hey, what sounds better,
"screwmaster" or "screwmeister"?
207
00:08:29,303 --> 00:08:31,003
I wouldn't Google either of them,
208
00:08:31,005 --> 00:08:34,340
but listen, are you totally
sure those footprints are fakes?
209
00:08:34,375 --> 00:08:36,376
Yeah.
That's an odd question.
210
00:08:36,377 --> 00:08:38,912
I just... [sighs]
Oh, I'm sorry I got upset earlier.
211
00:08:38,913 --> 00:08:40,281
I didn't want to say anything
212
00:08:40,282 --> 00:08:42,449
because I was afraid
you'd make fun of me...
213
00:08:42,451 --> 00:08:44,551
I've never told anyone this before,
214
00:08:44,585 --> 00:08:49,088
but a long time ago, like,
years and years ago, I...
215
00:08:49,089 --> 00:08:52,963
saw a Sasquatch.
[music]
216
00:08:53,294 --> 00:08:56,896
Oh, my god,
they killed Lord Farnax!
217
00:08:56,931 --> 00:08:58,331
[rooster crows]
218
00:08:58,332 --> 00:09:00,633
Emma!
We're out of jam!
219
00:09:00,701 --> 00:09:03,303
- [Davis] There's marmalade.
- Aah! Holy hell.
220
00:09:03,370 --> 00:09:05,572
Did you spend the night?
In our kitchen?
221
00:09:05,573 --> 00:09:08,074
No. Got here early
to finish up our outfits.
222
00:09:08,108 --> 00:09:10,477
Emma's faith gown
is really on point,
223
00:09:10,544 --> 00:09:13,595
but the jewels of Jalagra
won't stay on my battle cup.
224
00:09:13,683 --> 00:09:16,049
"Joodles, jebagas"...
speak English!
225
00:09:16,050 --> 00:09:19,319
There's no English
in the forest of Mellador.
226
00:09:19,321 --> 00:09:21,421
And there's no me
in this conversation.
227
00:09:21,755 --> 00:09:23,157
Hi, Oscar.
228
00:09:23,158 --> 00:09:25,992
And here's Officer Flapgum,
on top of it.
229
00:09:26,060 --> 00:09:28,678
- On top of what?
- Your big, dumb,
230
00:09:28,679 --> 00:09:31,940
fully grown adult partner
is in my kitchen, sewing
231
00:09:31,941 --> 00:09:35,201
Halloween costumes so he can
pretend he's on some show.
232
00:09:35,236 --> 00:09:36,670
The old shows were better...
233
00:09:36,671 --> 00:09:39,072
Milton Burlesque,
The Honeydrippers,
234
00:09:39,106 --> 00:09:42,108
Make Room For Beaver...
Not this weirdo crap
235
00:09:42,109 --> 00:09:44,310
that Emma and Davis are on about.
236
00:09:44,345 --> 00:09:45,478
Davis doesn't go on about it.
237
00:09:45,479 --> 00:09:49,463
He goes on and on and on
about it.
238
00:09:49,498 --> 00:09:52,285
- They should call it Drone Strife.
- Heh!
239
00:09:52,286 --> 00:09:54,020
Hey, you're pretty good
at complaining.
240
00:09:54,022 --> 00:09:57,323
- I am?
- Yeah. You got the gift of the grouse.
241
00:09:57,324 --> 00:09:59,425
What else don't you like
about that stupid show?
242
00:09:59,460 --> 00:10:01,628
Well,
I hate how Davis mocks me
243
00:10:01,662 --> 00:10:04,430
for not knowing the magic words
to some wizard's spell.
244
00:10:04,465 --> 00:10:07,250
- There ya go...
- Meanwhile, if we ever have to fill out
245
00:10:07,251 --> 00:10:10,036
some form, he's like,
"Karen, what's my phone number?"
246
00:10:10,038 --> 00:10:12,239
[laughs]
That's good stuff.
247
00:10:12,240 --> 00:10:16,109
- Let's go share your gift around town.
- My gift?
248
00:10:18,078 --> 00:10:19,145
[startled gasp]
249
00:10:19,146 --> 00:10:20,548
You can't say
"I saw a Sasquatch"
250
00:10:20,549 --> 00:10:22,015
and then just leave it at that,
251
00:10:22,016 --> 00:10:24,217
like you said
"I own several spoons".
252
00:10:24,219 --> 00:10:26,553
- Spoons?
- See? Now you need to know more.
253
00:10:26,554 --> 00:10:28,254
[sighs] Okay, fine.
254
00:10:28,255 --> 00:10:31,024
Don't go spreading this around,
but yes...
255
00:10:31,025 --> 00:10:33,226
I saw a Sasquatch as a teen.
256
00:10:33,228 --> 00:10:37,363
- How do you know it was a teen?
- Because it had acne.
257
00:10:37,398 --> 00:10:39,532
It wasn't a teen, you goof.
I was!
258
00:10:39,567 --> 00:10:41,668
It happened back in summer camp.
259
00:10:41,702 --> 00:10:44,103
I was maybe 12 or 13 years old.
260
00:10:44,105 --> 00:10:47,674
It was late at night.
I had to pee really bad,
261
00:10:47,675 --> 00:10:50,109
but it was dark and creepy in the woods,
262
00:10:50,177 --> 00:10:53,346
- and the outhouse was so far away.
- Don't tell me you left the tent.
263
00:10:53,347 --> 00:10:56,316
- I crawled out of the tent...
- Oh, my god.
264
00:10:56,317 --> 00:10:57,750
and headed
for some bushes nearby.
265
00:10:57,751 --> 00:11:01,421
I was just about to drop my PJs,
when I saw a silhouette.
266
00:11:01,423 --> 00:11:03,757
It was huge and upright,
267
00:11:03,758 --> 00:11:06,092
with glowing yellow eyes.
268
00:11:06,160 --> 00:11:09,762
It glared at me,
made some low guttural sound,
269
00:11:09,830 --> 00:11:11,497
and then slowly walked away...
270
00:11:11,498 --> 00:11:14,567
walked, on two legs,
into the woods.
271
00:11:14,602 --> 00:11:16,569
I didn't even finish my business,
272
00:11:16,604 --> 00:11:19,138
I just pulled up my PJs
and ran back to camp.
273
00:11:19,140 --> 00:11:21,274
I would have finished my
business the second I saw it,
274
00:11:21,275 --> 00:11:24,777
- pants or no pants.
- Don't joke. It really freaked me out.
275
00:11:24,778 --> 00:11:27,714
It still bothers me to this day.
276
00:11:27,748 --> 00:11:28,748
What?
277
00:11:28,749 --> 00:11:31,784
It's just... I mean, it's a
compelling story, for sure...
278
00:11:31,785 --> 00:11:33,519
Story?
You don't believe me?!
279
00:11:33,520 --> 00:11:36,222
I'm just wary that you might
be screwing with me here.
280
00:11:36,223 --> 00:11:38,458
Oh, you hypocrite!
You get all worked up
281
00:11:38,459 --> 00:11:39,460
because Wanda
won't believe this stuff,
282
00:11:39,461 --> 00:11:41,503
but you won't believe me?
283
00:11:41,538 --> 00:11:43,797
But, you see, that's
exactly how you'd play this
284
00:11:43,798 --> 00:11:45,832
if you were screwing with me.
285
00:11:49,336 --> 00:11:50,638
[yawns]
286
00:11:50,639 --> 00:11:52,705
I can't keep up these
late-night shenanigans.
287
00:11:52,740 --> 00:11:55,208
- I'm exhausted.
- So am I.
288
00:11:55,209 --> 00:11:57,644
But why are you even up?
I have to be here for work.
289
00:11:57,645 --> 00:12:00,313
You have no job,
no responsibilities,
290
00:12:00,347 --> 00:12:03,517
- no hope, no future...
- I can't sleep.
291
00:12:03,518 --> 00:12:05,618
I'm too stressed
about this web of lies.
292
00:12:05,653 --> 00:12:07,520
Web? It's one thing.
293
00:12:07,522 --> 00:12:10,324
I can't take it.
My stomach's a web of knots.
294
00:12:10,325 --> 00:12:11,658
Have you ever seen a web?
295
00:12:11,659 --> 00:12:13,660
I have to tell Brent
about our Sasquatch hoax.
296
00:12:13,727 --> 00:12:16,162
- You keep your yap shut!
- Yeah? Or what?
297
00:12:16,163 --> 00:12:19,265
Or... I'll tell Brent about
how you've been hoaxing him
298
00:12:19,266 --> 00:12:22,368
- with this Sasquatch stuff.
- What? No!
299
00:12:22,369 --> 00:12:25,371
No, don't tell!
I'll play ball.
300
00:12:26,607 --> 00:12:28,842
Oh, you guys!
You will never believe this!
301
00:12:28,843 --> 00:12:30,643
You shouldn't either...
Ow!
302
00:12:30,678 --> 00:12:31,778
Do go on.
303
00:12:31,779 --> 00:12:34,181
I saw fresh tracks this morning.
And guess what?
304
00:12:34,182 --> 00:12:35,882
Loaded with dermal ridges!
305
00:12:35,916 --> 00:12:38,451
The deepest dermaliest ridges
anyone's ever seen.
306
00:12:38,485 --> 00:12:41,154
Ha!
Well, I guess that cinches it.
307
00:12:41,188 --> 00:12:43,256
- Yep. Almost.
- Almost?
308
00:12:43,257 --> 00:12:44,457
Well, it's spring, right?
309
00:12:44,458 --> 00:12:46,693
That's mating season
for the Sasquatch,
310
00:12:46,695 --> 00:12:50,263
so naturally anyone would expect
to hear some mating songs,
311
00:12:50,297 --> 00:12:52,365
long, howling mating songs,
312
00:12:52,399 --> 00:12:55,601
between and 2:00 and 4:00 a.m.
Then I'd know for sure!
313
00:12:55,602 --> 00:12:57,270
[sighs]
314
00:12:57,271 --> 00:12:59,172
This is a web!
315
00:12:59,239 --> 00:13:01,952
Huh? [growls]
316
00:13:04,478 --> 00:13:07,548
Hey, Won. When are you
going to get some bananas
317
00:13:07,549 --> 00:13:09,716
that aren't 70% black spots?
318
00:13:09,783 --> 00:13:12,218
These look like a Dalmatian
with jaundice.
319
00:13:12,286 --> 00:13:14,587
- Am I right, Karen?
- Uh, yeah!
320
00:13:14,588 --> 00:13:18,558
And those apples look like
they belong in a seniors centre.
321
00:13:18,592 --> 00:13:22,495
They're old...
and wrinkled...
322
00:13:22,529 --> 00:13:25,601
- kind of sad.
- They're mangoes.
323
00:13:25,636 --> 00:13:29,268
- Oh.
- Yeah, well, her point still stands!
324
00:13:29,303 --> 00:13:32,238
Get some fresh stuff or I'll
never buy fruit here again!
325
00:13:32,239 --> 00:13:35,408
Good.
Enjoy your scurvy!
326
00:13:36,610 --> 00:13:39,645
[both grunting]
[grunts]
327
00:13:39,680 --> 00:13:41,347
[catches breath]
328
00:13:41,348 --> 00:13:43,416
I suppose we could have
changed into our outfits
329
00:13:43,417 --> 00:13:45,919
- once we got there.
- Sure, we could go halfway
330
00:13:45,920 --> 00:13:48,421
and look like
totally uncommitted newbies.
331
00:13:48,423 --> 00:13:50,924
- Is that what you want, Emma?
- No.
332
00:13:50,925 --> 00:13:53,493
- Is that what you want?!
- Settle down.
333
00:13:53,494 --> 00:13:57,363
Sorry. [chuckles]
To the darkened forests of Mellador!
334
00:13:57,397 --> 00:14:00,065
- Seriously.
- Sorry.
335
00:14:00,934 --> 00:14:03,202
I kind of blew it
back at the fruit stand.
336
00:14:03,237 --> 00:14:05,939
Complaining is like a muscle...
it's weak at first,
337
00:14:05,940 --> 00:14:09,408
but if you keep exercising,
it gets big and strong,
338
00:14:09,443 --> 00:14:14,279
and pretty soon you're kicking
sand in people's faces at the beach.
339
00:14:16,950 --> 00:14:18,650
Dude!
What the hell?
340
00:14:18,685 --> 00:14:20,620
I can hear
that god-awful rap-hop
341
00:14:20,687 --> 00:14:23,689
spilling out of your head
even with these earplugs in!
342
00:14:23,724 --> 00:14:26,292
- It's Hall and Oates.
- I don't care what you're haulin'.
343
00:14:26,293 --> 00:14:27,693
You're going to get yourself killed
344
00:14:27,694 --> 00:14:30,863
riding around with your
ears plugged in traffic.
345
00:14:30,864 --> 00:14:32,564
Traffic?
346
00:14:36,730 --> 00:14:40,306
[dog yawns]
347
00:14:40,307 --> 00:14:42,608
Just because
there aren't any vehicles
348
00:14:42,643 --> 00:14:44,977
doesn't mean there isn't any traffic.
349
00:14:45,045 --> 00:14:48,279
Uh, that's exactly what that means.
350
00:14:49,516 --> 00:14:52,318
Kid's right.
That made no sense.
351
00:14:56,532 --> 00:14:58,332
Ah! [sighs]
Stop doing that!
352
00:14:58,333 --> 00:15:00,568
Just here for a coffee.
That's all.
353
00:15:00,569 --> 00:15:02,103
So anyway, on another topic,
354
00:15:02,104 --> 00:15:03,537
when you saw your Sasquatch,
355
00:15:03,538 --> 00:15:06,140
were you surprised
at how flat his head was?
356
00:15:06,174 --> 00:15:08,476
- Pretty flat head, right?
- Mm, not really.
357
00:15:08,477 --> 00:15:10,211
Actually, his head
sort of rose up into a cone.
358
00:15:10,279 --> 00:15:12,213
Yes!
It's called a sagittal crest.
359
00:15:12,247 --> 00:15:13,548
But how did you know that?
360
00:15:13,549 --> 00:15:15,983
Wait, are you just trying
to trip me up
361
00:15:16,018 --> 00:15:18,866
- because you don't believe me?
- No. No, no.
362
00:15:18,901 --> 00:15:20,555
I'm just... I'm making
casual conversation
363
00:15:20,556 --> 00:15:22,057
about what you think
364
00:15:22,058 --> 00:15:24,492
your creature's arm-to-torso
ratio might be, that's all.
365
00:15:24,493 --> 00:15:26,594
I kept that a secret for so long
366
00:15:26,596 --> 00:15:28,396
because I didn't think
anyone would believe me.
367
00:15:28,463 --> 00:15:30,891
Then I finally share it
with someone I think I can trust,
368
00:15:30,926 --> 00:15:32,566
- and this is what I get?
- I'm sorry.
369
00:15:32,567 --> 00:15:34,001
The hoaxes and pranks
370
00:15:34,002 --> 00:15:35,870
are swirling around
hot and heavy out there.
371
00:15:35,904 --> 00:15:37,305
I'm just trying to watch my back.
372
00:15:37,306 --> 00:15:40,110
Yeah, well,
now you can watch mine.
373
00:15:40,375 --> 00:15:42,510
Sick burn.
374
00:15:43,512 --> 00:15:45,346
That skateboard kid
kind of rattled me.
375
00:15:45,380 --> 00:15:47,315
I-I can do better than that.
376
00:15:47,349 --> 00:15:50,217
- Well, here's your chance.
- Oh, no.
377
00:15:50,218 --> 00:15:53,287
Oscar, we can't.
378
00:15:53,355 --> 00:15:56,124
Hey, kid! You got a licence
to operate that thing?
379
00:15:56,125 --> 00:15:59,527
I don't know, but I
sqwozded the lemons myself.
380
00:15:59,561 --> 00:16:02,997
- Typical. Write her up, Karen.
- She's just a little kid.
381
00:16:02,998 --> 00:16:06,067
Well, at least give her a good scare.
Cuff her and rough 'er.
382
00:16:06,068 --> 00:16:07,902
Am I in twubble?
383
00:16:07,936 --> 00:16:11,205
No, you're not in twubble...
I-I mean, trouble.
384
00:16:11,206 --> 00:16:12,907
You are doing a great job.
385
00:16:12,941 --> 00:16:15,610
- You disappoint me, Karen.
- I don't care.
386
00:16:15,611 --> 00:16:19,080
I'm okay with telling a grown
man he's got wrinkly mangoes,
387
00:16:19,081 --> 00:16:21,082
but I'm not going to shake down
a five-year-old girl.
388
00:16:21,116 --> 00:16:23,284
Complaining knows no age or gender.
389
00:16:23,286 --> 00:16:25,619
It's blind, like Lady Justice.
390
00:16:25,687 --> 00:16:29,923
You're either all in or you're out.
What's it gonna be?
391
00:16:29,924 --> 00:16:32,942
[dramatic music]
392
00:16:33,562 --> 00:16:36,030
I'll take one glass, please.
393
00:16:36,721 --> 00:16:40,668
I choose positivity over negativity.
[sips, spits]
394
00:16:40,670 --> 00:16:43,138
This is terrible!
What'd you make this with?
395
00:16:43,139 --> 00:16:44,939
Fresh-squeezed diapers?
396
00:16:46,074 --> 00:16:47,774
[cries]
397
00:16:49,444 --> 00:16:54,149
- Gwow up!
- Oh no... I've become you.
398
00:16:54,150 --> 00:16:56,850
[snickers]
Keep dweaming.
399
00:16:59,061 --> 00:17:00,294
[yawns]
400
00:17:00,295 --> 00:17:02,163
I can't believe
we have to stay up again
401
00:17:02,165 --> 00:17:03,865
to make stupid mating calls.
402
00:17:03,932 --> 00:17:07,168
Besides, what do Sasquatch
mating calls even sound like?
403
00:17:07,170 --> 00:17:09,003
Probably loud,
because they're big,
404
00:17:09,005 --> 00:17:11,905
but at the same time,
they're trying to be sexy, right?
405
00:17:11,907 --> 00:17:14,508
So maybe it's like...
406
00:17:14,543 --> 00:17:17,078
[provocative grunting]
407
00:17:17,112 --> 00:17:19,880
That's sexy?
This isn't romance.
408
00:17:19,881 --> 00:17:21,482
It's propagation of a species.
409
00:17:21,483 --> 00:17:23,852
It's about power.
It's like...
410
00:17:23,853 --> 00:17:26,387
[grunting with gusto]
411
00:17:28,156 --> 00:17:30,157
He's never going to get
any action like that.
412
00:17:30,192 --> 00:17:31,492
No, it's like, uh...
413
00:17:31,493 --> 00:17:33,227
[short musical grunts]
414
00:17:33,295 --> 00:17:36,397
Huhhh! Huhhh! Huhhh!
415
00:17:36,431 --> 00:17:39,333
- [Brent] Whatcha doing?
- Nothing! Hank hurt his foot.
416
00:17:39,368 --> 00:17:40,401
When?
417
00:17:40,402 --> 00:17:42,003
[thump]
Gah! Ow!
418
00:17:42,004 --> 00:17:43,571
I mean...
[short musical grunts]
419
00:17:43,572 --> 00:17:47,441
I see.
Well, I can't wait for tonight.
420
00:17:47,476 --> 00:17:49,877
Between the mating calls
and the fresh scat,
421
00:17:49,879 --> 00:17:51,178
it's going to be exciting!
422
00:17:51,179 --> 00:17:52,381
- Scat?
- Yeah.
423
00:17:52,382 --> 00:17:54,181
Like, wherever legitimate
tracks are found,
424
00:17:54,216 --> 00:17:56,083
there's always some fresh scat.
425
00:17:56,151 --> 00:17:58,853
You know, poo...
flop...
426
00:17:58,854 --> 00:18:01,822
- dumplings...
- That's it! I'm done.
427
00:18:01,857 --> 00:18:03,190
There's no way
I'm handling fresh poop
428
00:18:03,191 --> 00:18:05,860
- just to pull off a hoax!
- Me neither!
429
00:18:05,861 --> 00:18:09,598
Oh, yeah... I could have
just got you to do it.
430
00:18:09,599 --> 00:18:13,267
- Dammit!
- [chuckles] Game, set, and match.
431
00:18:13,269 --> 00:18:15,569
No, game, Squatch, and match.
432
00:18:15,637 --> 00:18:18,572
No, game, Sas, and Squatch.
433
00:18:18,574 --> 00:18:21,108
Yeah, they're all gold.
434
00:18:21,176 --> 00:18:26,247
- There goes the screwmaster.
- He prefers "screwmeister".
435
00:18:28,717 --> 00:18:30,651
How much further?
436
00:18:30,686 --> 00:18:33,055
Not far.
Maybe you should have a nap.
437
00:18:33,056 --> 00:18:36,058
Ah, too excited.
Let's have a snack!
438
00:18:36,059 --> 00:18:38,392
I prepared some Throne-Strife
themed treats.
439
00:18:38,394 --> 00:18:41,395
There's Ribs of Ragnarok,
which are really just beef,
440
00:18:41,396 --> 00:18:45,099
and Bloodbred...
jam on buns,
441
00:18:45,101 --> 00:18:47,401
and a thermos
of hot Stormbroth.
442
00:18:47,403 --> 00:18:51,272
- What's Stormbroth?
- The Torgon army drank it in Book 5.
443
00:18:51,340 --> 00:18:52,974
Ah. I've never read the books.
444
00:18:52,975 --> 00:18:54,909
I've only seen the shows.
445
00:18:54,911 --> 00:18:58,112
Oh, Emma,
you really must read the books.
446
00:18:58,180 --> 00:19:01,249
Right, well...
maybe one of these days.
447
00:19:01,251 --> 00:19:03,251
You simply
can't fully appreciate
448
00:19:03,253 --> 00:19:05,753
the breadth
of the Mellador universe
449
00:19:05,787 --> 00:19:07,487
without the originating literature.
450
00:19:07,489 --> 00:19:10,925
"Literature".
Let's not get too snooty, professor.
451
00:19:10,927 --> 00:19:13,428
I shan't.
I don't want to make an enemy
452
00:19:13,429 --> 00:19:16,030
of the Queen Mother
of the Lizardians
453
00:19:16,064 --> 00:19:19,171
and have her poison me
like she did King Staymick.
454
00:19:19,206 --> 00:19:21,176
- What?
- After she found out
455
00:19:21,177 --> 00:19:22,937
he was her long-lost brother,
456
00:19:22,939 --> 00:19:24,438
who was actually her stepson.
457
00:19:24,439 --> 00:19:28,475
It was in book number...
Oh.
458
00:19:29,945 --> 00:19:32,947
- Why are we stopping?
- Why do you think?
459
00:19:32,948 --> 00:19:35,082
You want me to drive?
460
00:19:37,352 --> 00:19:38,954
Your highness!
461
00:19:38,955 --> 00:19:42,790
You can't just leave me here
like a lost Gelderlane!
462
00:19:42,792 --> 00:19:45,359
Can I have the Stormbroth?
463
00:19:53,769 --> 00:19:57,972
[scatting]
[static]
464
00:19:57,974 --> 00:19:59,373
[radio clicks off]
465
00:19:59,374 --> 00:20:02,981
Oh... my... god!
[music]
466
00:20:05,247 --> 00:20:07,148
[stammers]
467
00:20:07,216 --> 00:20:08,517
[engine accelerates, tires squeal]
468
00:20:08,518 --> 00:20:10,117
[breathing heavily]
469
00:20:10,118 --> 00:20:14,888
Thanks for the ride, Brent!
Jerk.
470
00:20:17,619 --> 00:20:19,664
I mean, I couldn't believe Emma would
471
00:20:19,665 --> 00:20:21,465
just strand me on the highway like that.
472
00:20:21,466 --> 00:20:22,833
It was a total betrayal,
473
00:20:22,834 --> 00:20:25,002
like how Prince Wexling
of Massacronia
474
00:20:25,070 --> 00:20:28,839
back-stabbed the Crimsonites.
Oh... sorry.
475
00:20:28,907 --> 00:20:30,841
I'm going on
about Throne Strife again.
476
00:20:30,909 --> 00:20:32,511
You don't hear me complaining.
477
00:20:32,512 --> 00:20:34,845
- You want another glass?
- If you're buying.
478
00:20:34,846 --> 00:20:36,947
Another round, Sally.
479
00:20:36,982 --> 00:20:38,616
Thanks, Officer Pelly,
480
00:20:38,617 --> 00:20:42,853
and thanks for letting me know
I had to use sugar.
481
00:20:43,421 --> 00:20:45,923
Gah!
Honestly!
482
00:20:45,924 --> 00:20:47,558
Next time, you get
a knife in the neck.
483
00:20:47,559 --> 00:20:49,026
I'm here to apologize.
484
00:20:49,027 --> 00:20:51,862
I saw something last night
that sort of rocked my world.
485
00:20:51,897 --> 00:20:54,999
I won't go into detail,
but I'm sorry I doubted you.
486
00:20:55,067 --> 00:20:56,767
I believe you saw that Sasquatch.
487
00:20:56,768 --> 00:21:01,003
Oh, that?
Ah, I was just screwing with you.
488
00:21:01,091 --> 00:21:03,619
[music]
489
00:21:06,646 --> 00:21:08,013
♪ I don't know ♪
490
00:21:08,014 --> 00:21:10,515
♪ The same things you don't know ♪
491
00:21:13,680 --> 00:21:15,681
♪ I don't know ♪
492
00:21:15,749 --> 00:21:18,851
♪ I just... don't know ♪
493
00:21:20,854 --> 00:21:23,355
♪ Ooh ♪
494
00:21:23,423 --> 00:21:25,123
♪ It's a great big place ♪
495
00:21:25,147 --> 00:21:26,847
♪ Ooh ♪
496
00:21:26,860 --> 00:21:28,900
♪ Full of nothing but space ♪
497
00:21:28,935 --> 00:21:30,696
♪ Ooh ♪
498
00:21:30,764 --> 00:21:33,539
♪ It's my happy place ♪
499
00:21:33,683 --> 00:21:36,273
[Brent] Visit us at cornergas.com
500
00:21:36,374 --> 00:21:39,474
sync & correction by f1nc0
~ Addic7ed.com ~
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