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1
00:00:28,529 --> 00:00:31,532
Nothing that's worth anything
comes without pain.
2
00:00:43,543 --> 00:00:46,797
A work of art is only good
if it arises from necessity,
3
00:00:47,464 --> 00:00:48,423
from need.
4
00:00:50,008 --> 00:00:53,303
And it can be political need
or personal need
5
00:00:54,096 --> 00:00:56,139
or, ideally, both.
6
00:00:59,351 --> 00:01:03,105
Art should be confrontation.
It should shock and scare you.
7
00:01:04,690 --> 00:01:05,607
And Hannah,
8
00:01:06,858 --> 00:01:08,485
she was an artist in need.
9
00:01:10,195 --> 00:01:11,780
And I think that's what happened.
10
00:01:12,990 --> 00:01:14,283
And she freaked people out.
11
00:01:14,533 --> 00:01:16,743
All right.
12
00:01:18,579 --> 00:01:24,167
And how does this not make us more likely
to be the targets of abuse and ridicule?
13
00:01:24,876 --> 00:01:28,088
Because it's like claiming the word
as our own.
14
00:01:28,505 --> 00:01:29,798
Reappropriation.
15
00:01:29,881 --> 00:01:32,968
Like saying we're the assholes,
so don't fuck with us.
16
00:01:33,176 --> 00:01:36,388
Okay, yeah, sort of like
our superhero outfits, right?
17
00:01:36,471 --> 00:01:40,851
Like, "It's a bird, it's a plane,
it's the Assholes. It's us."
18
00:01:41,101 --> 00:01:43,562
Yeah. Just maybe don't say that.
19
00:01:53,947 --> 00:01:56,283
A soul in need
needs a way to express it.
20
00:01:57,200 --> 00:01:58,910
Silence is never the answer.
21
00:02:00,162 --> 00:02:02,664
But when there's so much going on
inside you...
22
00:02:05,208 --> 00:02:07,586
...society expects us to stay silent.
23
00:02:16,428 --> 00:02:19,931
And it's a dangerous thing
when there's so much going on inside you,
24
00:02:20,891 --> 00:02:22,434
but no one to share it with.
25
00:02:24,061 --> 00:02:26,730
Kevin? Honey, you forgot your lunch.
26
00:02:27,314 --> 00:02:29,608
- Thanks. I'll be right there.
- Okay.
27
00:02:48,293 --> 00:02:51,213
Good Lord.
These morning practices are killing me.
28
00:02:51,713 --> 00:02:54,341
I'm passing out at exactly 4:30 today.
29
00:02:55,675 --> 00:02:58,512
Or you could come back to my place.
30
00:02:58,762 --> 00:03:00,680
I don't think I'm gonna have the energy...
31
00:03:00,764 --> 00:03:02,724
For dinner? My parents wanna meet you.
32
00:03:02,808 --> 00:03:03,683
- They do?
- Yeah.
33
00:03:03,934 --> 00:03:06,019
That's so cool.
34
00:03:06,103 --> 00:03:08,772
- Oh, my God, that's so terrifying.
- No. It's no big deal.
35
00:03:08,855 --> 00:03:10,732
My dad happens to be in town for a bit.
36
00:03:11,900 --> 00:03:13,485
I'm always talking about you.
37
00:03:13,693 --> 00:03:16,655
I'm so excited. Amazing.
38
00:03:16,863 --> 00:03:18,240
- See you in third.
- Okay. Bye.
39
00:03:21,993 --> 00:03:23,495
Babe, I wanted to talk to you about...
40
00:03:23,578 --> 00:03:25,205
Wait. I should buy a dress.
41
00:03:25,414 --> 00:03:27,749
- You don't need to buy a dress.
- Or at least go and change.
42
00:03:27,833 --> 00:03:30,669
- I'll need at least an hour, okay?
- Yeah, fine.
43
00:03:30,877 --> 00:03:32,629
Hey, uh, how is practice
44
00:03:32,712 --> 00:03:36,091
with all the captain stuff
and, you know, Jess?
45
00:03:36,425 --> 00:03:38,301
It's great. It's going really well.
46
00:03:38,552 --> 00:03:40,011
Cool. Awesome. Okay.
47
00:03:40,095 --> 00:03:41,054
- Bye.
- Bye.
48
00:03:42,556 --> 00:03:44,599
Hannah needed
to reclaim her power.
49
00:03:45,517 --> 00:03:47,185
Are you gonna ask him about the Polaroid?
50
00:03:48,145 --> 00:03:50,188
I don't trust him any more
than I did yesterday.
51
00:03:50,272 --> 00:03:53,692
How can you not trust
that little sleeping angel?
52
00:04:00,991 --> 00:04:02,409
The fuck are you looking at?
53
00:04:04,161 --> 00:04:07,205
Justin, do you think
that you can keep your shit together
54
00:04:07,289 --> 00:04:09,958
until someone comes over
to look after you later?
55
00:04:10,417 --> 00:04:12,335
I'm running late. I gotta get to school.
56
00:04:12,461 --> 00:04:15,338
I'm fine. I don't need a babysitter.
57
00:04:16,590 --> 00:04:18,467
It's just so fucking cold in here.
58
00:04:18,800 --> 00:04:21,553
- Chills. He has a fever.
- It's chills. You have a fever.
59
00:04:21,636 --> 00:04:23,180
Well, get him another blanket.
60
00:04:32,564 --> 00:04:35,025
- Maybe a shower would help.
- I'm not that bad.
61
00:04:35,108 --> 00:04:38,445
You smell like dead feet.
Just shower, please.
62
00:04:38,945 --> 00:04:39,946
Oh, I'm hungry.
63
00:04:41,239 --> 00:04:43,492
How can you be hungry?
You threw everything up.
64
00:04:45,285 --> 00:04:46,536
Maybe that's why I'm hungry.
65
00:04:48,789 --> 00:04:49,706
Take a shower.
66
00:04:52,167 --> 00:04:53,168
Have you seen this?
67
00:04:54,669 --> 00:04:58,757
My God, was there anyone in your class
this Hannah wasn't involved with?
68
00:05:00,050 --> 00:05:01,259
What? What do you mean?
69
00:05:01,426 --> 00:05:03,678
Every day,
there's another boy in this story.
70
00:05:05,722 --> 00:05:08,141
It's not surprising
that she had a reputation.
71
00:05:10,143 --> 00:05:13,563
I will just be glad
when this is all over for you tomorrow,
72
00:05:14,022 --> 00:05:17,067
and you are as far removed
from this mess as possible.
73
00:05:19,194 --> 00:05:20,070
Yep.
74
00:05:33,959 --> 00:05:36,628
Hey. Your mom's starting to think
you're avoiding us.
75
00:05:37,045 --> 00:05:40,966
Avoiding you? No. No, no.
I've just got a lot going on, you know?
76
00:05:41,049 --> 00:05:42,884
You can't take every meal in your room.
77
00:05:44,219 --> 00:05:47,430
I've just got so much work.
78
00:05:47,889 --> 00:05:51,393
How about taking a break with me tonight?
Vertigo is at the Crestmont.
79
00:05:51,476 --> 00:05:52,394
Let's go.
80
00:05:53,645 --> 00:05:55,272
Oh, wow. I, um...
81
00:05:56,439 --> 00:05:57,941
Is that the shower?
82
00:05:58,024 --> 00:06:00,026
Yeah. Yeah, that's my, um...
83
00:06:00,485 --> 00:06:02,988
I just figured I'd grab some food
while I let it heat up.
84
00:06:03,071 --> 00:06:05,115
The new tankless heater
takes a while to warm up.
85
00:06:05,198 --> 00:06:07,242
- Shouldn't take this long.
- It's not a big deal.
86
00:06:07,325 --> 00:06:09,953
No, sometimes the valve
is on the cold side.
87
00:06:10,036 --> 00:06:11,329
It's all good. Have some coffee.
88
00:06:12,414 --> 00:06:14,165
Yeah, I'll get more. Yeah. Movie tonight?
89
00:06:14,708 --> 00:06:16,960
Exciting. So, yeah, thanks.
90
00:06:25,844 --> 00:06:27,012
What the fuck?
91
00:06:27,095 --> 00:06:30,265
Yeah, Dad. Plenty hot.
Water heater's totally working.
92
00:06:34,603 --> 00:06:36,396
- Shit. Sorry.
- Just quiet.
93
00:06:36,479 --> 00:06:37,564
Okay.
94
00:06:45,238 --> 00:06:46,323
Can you get out now?
95
00:06:46,865 --> 00:06:49,075
It has to look like
I'm the one in the shower, idiot.
96
00:06:51,328 --> 00:06:54,456
Well, can you pass me some more shampoo?
97
00:06:55,707 --> 00:06:57,417
These kids need to be sympathetic, Olivia.
98
00:06:57,500 --> 00:07:00,837
I worry about calling Ryan Shaver.
His deposition was practically smug.
99
00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:03,923
We're putting pieces together. We have to
get Hannah's poem into evidence,
100
00:07:04,007 --> 00:07:05,258
and he's the one who...
101
00:07:06,718 --> 00:07:07,552
printed it.
102
00:07:10,805 --> 00:07:11,640
Morning.
103
00:07:12,724 --> 00:07:14,893
- Hi. I'm Andy.
- Oh, of course, I remember.
104
00:07:15,685 --> 00:07:17,646
- Will you be joining us today?
- No, he won't.
105
00:07:20,106 --> 00:07:22,067
Well, I'll give you two a minute.
106
00:07:27,447 --> 00:07:29,199
I wanna be here with you.
107
00:07:29,783 --> 00:07:33,036
I need to be here.
I'm sorry I haven't been.
108
00:07:33,787 --> 00:07:35,580
The things they've been saying in there,
109
00:07:36,456 --> 00:07:40,293
things that you'll hear, you have no idea.
110
00:07:41,711 --> 00:07:42,545
I'll learn.
111
00:07:47,217 --> 00:07:51,054
I don't know.
It's definitely not the pool house.
112
00:07:52,639 --> 00:07:54,182
So, where is it, then?
113
00:07:54,683 --> 00:07:57,811
I could ask one of the guys
and maybe figure out...
114
00:07:57,894 --> 00:08:02,774
No. You stay here
until you're clean. For Jessica.
115
00:08:04,317 --> 00:08:06,069
I could just show this around. It's...
116
00:08:06,653 --> 00:08:07,904
No, I got it. Thanks.
117
00:08:08,488 --> 00:08:09,990
Fuck me. Fuck.
118
00:08:12,492 --> 00:08:13,535
Wait...
119
00:08:14,327 --> 00:08:16,579
He's my babysitter?
What happened to Sheri?
120
00:08:16,871 --> 00:08:20,625
Sheri couldn't skip twice in a row.
She's taking the evening shift.
121
00:08:21,251 --> 00:08:23,128
I thought he wanted nothing to do with me.
122
00:08:23,420 --> 00:08:24,337
No, I don't.
123
00:08:24,713 --> 00:08:27,132
So keep your mouth shut
and don't piss me off.
124
00:08:27,215 --> 00:08:29,009
Don't piss me off.
125
00:08:29,092 --> 00:08:32,053
And if you puke on this leather,
I'm gonna have to kick your ass.
126
00:08:32,303 --> 00:08:33,138
Great.
127
00:08:33,722 --> 00:08:38,601
So, WebMD detox info and contingency plans
are on the desk.
128
00:08:38,685 --> 00:08:42,355
Don't let anyone see you. And I gotta go.
129
00:08:42,439 --> 00:08:45,817
Um, have fun.
Don't kill each other. Thanks.
130
00:08:46,651 --> 00:08:47,610
Bye.
131
00:08:49,529 --> 00:08:51,573
But, as is almost always the case
in high school,
132
00:08:51,656 --> 00:08:53,491
we mock what we don't understand.
133
00:08:53,575 --> 00:08:55,326
That's what kids at Liberty did to Hannah.
134
00:08:55,410 --> 00:08:56,494
What about faculty?
135
00:08:56,619 --> 00:09:00,749
I mean, didn't they express concern
over the poem's suicidal contents?
136
00:09:00,874 --> 00:09:04,294
The poem was read aloud
in Mrs. Cusick's class. That's about it.
137
00:09:04,586 --> 00:09:06,212
So no one addressed
138
00:09:06,296 --> 00:09:09,758
the anonymous author's
obvious cry for help
139
00:09:09,841 --> 00:09:12,427
or asked you who wrote it?
140
00:09:12,719 --> 00:09:14,304
Nope. No one took it seriously.
141
00:09:15,847 --> 00:09:17,474
But then again, they rarely do.
142
00:09:36,868 --> 00:09:37,869
Mr. Down?
143
00:09:42,749 --> 00:09:44,709
My office, now.
144
00:09:59,307 --> 00:10:00,767
I think you know why you're here.
145
00:10:01,434 --> 00:10:02,268
Yeah, I'm aware.
146
00:10:09,150 --> 00:10:10,610
You wanna tell me about these?
147
00:10:12,403 --> 00:10:14,072
Wait, that's what this is about?
148
00:10:14,656 --> 00:10:16,199
You took the pictures.
149
00:10:17,117 --> 00:10:19,119
Yeah, last year.
150
00:10:20,286 --> 00:10:22,455
How'd they end up saying, "drunk slut"?
151
00:10:23,123 --> 00:10:24,707
Mr. Porter, I didn't do that.
152
00:10:25,041 --> 00:10:27,085
I went into the photography classroom,
153
00:10:27,168 --> 00:10:30,088
and the printer history in the lab
said that you were signed in.
154
00:10:30,296 --> 00:10:33,550
Someone must've used it while
I was developing in the darkroom then.
155
00:10:33,633 --> 00:10:34,467
Okay.
156
00:10:35,844 --> 00:10:38,930
So do we know who might be doing this
to Jessica, then?
157
00:10:39,848 --> 00:10:43,017
Same person who smashed my camera.
Did anyone ever find them?
158
00:10:43,977 --> 00:10:45,728
But Jessica and I get messed with?
159
00:10:46,020 --> 00:10:48,231
And the people that deserve
to get messed with never do.
160
00:10:48,606 --> 00:10:49,858
I think that can change.
161
00:10:50,024 --> 00:10:51,568
I'll believe it when I see it.
162
00:11:06,166 --> 00:11:09,460
Isn't this, like,
your special resources period?
163
00:11:09,836 --> 00:11:13,423
Yeah, I hate that shit.
I just... I gotta listen to these again.
164
00:11:15,925 --> 00:11:16,968
Alex, uh...
165
00:11:20,263 --> 00:11:22,640
last time, you listened,
I think, multiple times.
166
00:11:22,724 --> 00:11:24,183
Yeah, I know. I just...
167
00:11:25,059 --> 00:11:28,271
I keep listening to mine over and over
because it doesn't make sense.
168
00:11:29,272 --> 00:11:30,732
It's like I'm missing something.
169
00:11:33,192 --> 00:11:34,068
Do you...
170
00:11:35,069 --> 00:11:36,195
Do you wanna talk about it?
171
00:11:36,863 --> 00:11:39,407
- Aren't we talking about it?
- I guess so.
172
00:11:46,372 --> 00:11:47,999
Hey, what is that guy doing?
173
00:11:48,374 --> 00:11:50,043
Uh, chalking the field.
174
00:11:51,169 --> 00:11:52,045
What is that machine?
175
00:11:52,503 --> 00:11:55,506
I don't know.
Like... I guess it's a chalk machine?
176
00:11:56,966 --> 00:11:57,800
I gotta go.
177
00:11:58,051 --> 00:12:00,011
I don't know
if it's called a chalk machine.
178
00:12:00,094 --> 00:12:01,179
No, I just...
179
00:12:02,472 --> 00:12:05,934
- Look, don't listen too hard, okay?
- Yeah.
180
00:12:25,453 --> 00:12:28,331
It seems like nothing
until the hurricane hits.
181
00:12:29,123 --> 00:12:30,375
Is that why you did it, Alex?
182
00:12:36,673 --> 00:12:39,384
I can't pretend to know
what goes on in someone else's head.
183
00:12:39,801 --> 00:12:41,010
It's poetry.
184
00:12:41,094 --> 00:12:44,013
Most of the poets in our group
write about dark and messed-up things.
185
00:12:44,097 --> 00:12:48,601
So you had no idea that Hannah
was crying out for help in her work,
186
00:12:48,685 --> 00:12:50,687
or so the prosecution
would have us believe,
187
00:12:50,770 --> 00:12:53,898
but you expect the school
to draw that conclusion?
188
00:12:53,982 --> 00:12:55,566
It's their job, isn't it?
189
00:12:56,401 --> 00:12:58,861
I mean, I'm sorry,
but I'm not a licensed therapist,
190
00:12:58,945 --> 00:12:59,862
or a teacher.
191
00:13:00,279 --> 00:13:03,324
Ryan, isn't it true that you worked
with Hannah
192
00:13:03,408 --> 00:13:05,118
on many of her other poems?
193
00:13:05,660 --> 00:13:07,328
Some, yes.
194
00:13:08,288 --> 00:13:10,832
And do you recognize these?
195
00:13:16,921 --> 00:13:19,465
Yes, they're other poems
from Hannah's journals.
196
00:13:19,757 --> 00:13:21,592
Defense Exhibit F, Your Honor.
197
00:13:21,676 --> 00:13:24,637
Uh, Ryan, did you work with Hannah
on this poem?
198
00:13:25,138 --> 00:13:26,305
Yes, I did.
199
00:13:27,181 --> 00:13:29,225
Would you read this poem
for the court, please?
200
00:13:36,566 --> 00:13:39,277
"Oh, fruit forbidden,
so sour, so sweet..."
201
00:13:39,569 --> 00:13:41,487
"I have been banished from the garden,
202
00:13:41,571 --> 00:13:42,864
and I don't think I miss it.
203
00:13:43,656 --> 00:13:45,575
And yet I want another bite."
204
00:13:48,578 --> 00:13:50,747
I like how you subverted the ode.
That's good.
205
00:13:52,040 --> 00:13:53,916
Some obvious metaphors there,
206
00:13:55,334 --> 00:13:57,211
but there's a universality to it.
207
00:13:58,671 --> 00:13:59,922
I'm just...
208
00:14:01,507 --> 00:14:02,675
Sorry, uh, keep going.
209
00:14:03,384 --> 00:14:07,013
I was going to say, I'm just wondering
if you shouldn't delve a little deeper.
210
00:14:07,388 --> 00:14:08,806
You had another you wanted to read?
211
00:14:08,890 --> 00:14:09,766
Uh...
212
00:14:09,849 --> 00:14:11,017
- Yeah.
- Okay.
213
00:14:11,100 --> 00:14:14,979
Look, I know it seems silly,
but the no-phone rule is for a very good...
214
00:14:19,817 --> 00:14:21,235
Justin Foley?
215
00:14:23,237 --> 00:14:24,447
Shut up. Are...?
216
00:14:26,991 --> 00:14:27,909
Hang on.
217
00:14:28,743 --> 00:14:30,536
Holy shit.
218
00:14:30,620 --> 00:14:32,747
- He's your forbidden fruit?
- No, he's not.
219
00:14:32,830 --> 00:14:34,999
- We just text sometimes.
- Oh, you text?
220
00:14:35,375 --> 00:14:37,377
And talk on the phone a little.
221
00:14:37,543 --> 00:14:39,295
- Since when?
- I don't know.
222
00:14:39,379 --> 00:14:41,672
He texted me that day saying he was sorry,
223
00:14:41,756 --> 00:14:44,801
and then, again, the next day.
Eventually, I stopped ignoring him.
224
00:14:45,301 --> 00:14:48,054
And it felt good to know that things
didn't end up the way
225
00:14:48,137 --> 00:14:50,014
- that people think they did.
- What...?
226
00:14:50,640 --> 00:14:53,476
- You just told me to delve deeper.
- Not into him.
227
00:14:53,643 --> 00:14:55,853
- You said yourself he ruined you.
- I know.
228
00:14:56,646 --> 00:14:59,107
- I know, I just...
- Okay. I get it.
229
00:14:59,774 --> 00:15:01,067
He makes all our panties drop.
230
00:15:01,567 --> 00:15:03,277
Wait, you think Justin's hot?
231
00:15:03,361 --> 00:15:06,489
Of course I do. I'm not blind,
or, like, chemically castrated.
232
00:15:06,823 --> 00:15:08,533
You said, and I'm quoting,
233
00:15:08,616 --> 00:15:11,953
that he was "the exemplar
of athleticus douchebaggerus."
234
00:15:12,036 --> 00:15:13,579
Which only makes him hotter.
235
00:15:13,830 --> 00:15:16,833
- I know, right? How is that even fair?
- All right, enough.
236
00:15:17,375 --> 00:15:20,211
You put your hand on the hot stove.
Owie! You've learned your lesson.
237
00:15:21,379 --> 00:15:23,047
- Yes?
- Yes.
238
00:15:26,342 --> 00:15:28,469
You are going to delete him
from your phone...
239
00:15:28,553 --> 00:15:30,680
- Ugh.
- ...and cleanse him from your heart.
240
00:15:30,763 --> 00:15:33,266
Well, we should probably skip
my next three poems.
241
00:15:33,933 --> 00:15:35,268
Why?
242
00:15:39,939 --> 00:15:41,357
"It was the smile that did it first.
243
00:15:41,441 --> 00:15:44,485
The way it seemed so easy for you
to be so happy.
244
00:15:45,987 --> 00:15:48,281
That smile I wish I'd never seen."
245
00:15:48,364 --> 00:15:49,699
Stop it.
246
00:15:52,827 --> 00:15:55,329
And do you know
who this poem is about, Ryan?
247
00:15:55,955 --> 00:15:58,624
- Objection. Hearsay.
- Declarant unavailable, Your Honor.
248
00:15:59,125 --> 00:16:01,961
- I'll allow it.
- And who is this poem about, Ryan?
249
00:16:07,175 --> 00:16:08,092
I don't know.
250
00:16:09,260 --> 00:16:10,178
Hmm.
251
00:16:10,761 --> 00:16:12,930
Ryan, why don't you read
another poem for us?
252
00:16:14,474 --> 00:16:16,976
Fucking Ryan Shaver.
253
00:16:17,643 --> 00:16:21,022
Every single kid who's gone to court
has completely skated.
254
00:16:22,523 --> 00:16:25,818
No one has admitted what they did.
It's just me. I'm the only one.
255
00:16:27,111 --> 00:16:30,781
- Yeah, that Ryan's a fucking tool.
- Worst kind of gay.
256
00:16:34,368 --> 00:16:36,913
I mean, I didn't mean that
because he's gay.
257
00:16:36,996 --> 00:16:37,872
Oh, I did.
258
00:16:37,955 --> 00:16:41,959
He's fucking shallow and pretentious,
and he fucking dresses gay every day.
259
00:16:43,044 --> 00:16:44,378
Classic homo.
260
00:16:45,046 --> 00:16:48,132
Chad's also gay, FYI.
261
00:16:48,216 --> 00:16:50,134
Hence, he can say shit
the rest of us can't.
262
00:16:52,345 --> 00:16:54,639
And if you ever want to fuck with him,
263
00:16:55,848 --> 00:16:56,974
there's an app for that.
264
00:17:05,107 --> 00:17:07,151
I raised you three rectangular ones.
265
00:17:10,947 --> 00:17:13,824
If I win, we get to go outside.
266
00:17:13,908 --> 00:17:15,409
- No.
- Come on, just for a walk.
267
00:17:15,493 --> 00:17:17,662
No. I'm sorry.
268
00:17:18,162 --> 00:17:19,330
You heard the bossman.
269
00:17:19,789 --> 00:17:22,625
Besides, you got people looking for you
on both sides of the law.
270
00:17:24,168 --> 00:17:27,046
Since when is Tony Padilla
afraid of shit like that?
271
00:17:33,177 --> 00:17:34,136
Holy shit.
272
00:17:36,097 --> 00:17:37,098
You are scared.
273
00:17:38,516 --> 00:17:39,475
Why?
274
00:17:55,575 --> 00:17:57,577
My brothers and I, we beat this guy up.
275
00:17:58,119 --> 00:18:01,080
He ended up pressing charges
a few weeks later.
276
00:18:01,664 --> 00:18:04,083
That was my second strike,
now I'm on probation.
277
00:18:05,793 --> 00:18:08,671
If I get seen with you, we get busted,
278
00:18:10,131 --> 00:18:12,967
that means number three,
that means I do time.
279
00:18:16,137 --> 00:18:17,179
Shit.
280
00:18:23,519 --> 00:18:25,146
What the fuck happened to you?
281
00:18:26,564 --> 00:18:28,816
- You don't gotta tell me.
- No, no, no. It's...
282
00:18:31,736 --> 00:18:32,820
It's cool. It's...
283
00:18:34,530 --> 00:18:38,367
I just basically blew through
most of my money
284
00:18:38,451 --> 00:18:40,453
the first few weeks I was out,
285
00:18:40,870 --> 00:18:42,663
living in, like, motels and shit.
286
00:18:44,165 --> 00:18:47,293
Yeah, oxy was like
taking the edge off, but...
287
00:18:48,461 --> 00:18:50,338
all these pills are so pricey, and...
288
00:18:51,922 --> 00:18:53,090
heroin's cheap.
289
00:18:55,718 --> 00:18:56,844
So you know, here I am.
290
00:19:00,222 --> 00:19:02,683
Shitting myself in Clay Jensen's bathroom.
291
00:19:10,816 --> 00:19:12,151
Put your fucking shoes on.
292
00:19:17,365 --> 00:19:19,867
So your parents weren't pissed
about yesterday?
293
00:19:20,701 --> 00:19:23,120
No. They were disappointed.
294
00:19:23,204 --> 00:19:26,248
Oh, disappointed. I hate that shit.
295
00:19:27,333 --> 00:19:30,795
Plus, they want me to go to group therapy,
talk to someone.
296
00:19:32,213 --> 00:19:34,799
- You can always talk to me.
- That's what I said.
297
00:19:35,716 --> 00:19:41,138
Yeah, I won't, um, try to kiss you
every time or anything.
298
00:19:41,722 --> 00:19:42,682
Yeah.
299
00:19:44,266 --> 00:19:45,393
About that, I, uh...
300
00:19:45,476 --> 00:19:48,270
No, I mean, we don't have to...
301
00:19:49,188 --> 00:19:52,316
We don't have to be about that,
you know, ever again, so...
302
00:19:53,651 --> 00:19:54,568
Okay.
303
00:19:55,778 --> 00:19:56,821
Thanks.
304
00:19:59,532 --> 00:20:00,908
I listened to the tapes.
305
00:20:01,826 --> 00:20:03,327
Clay finally gave them to me.
306
00:20:05,579 --> 00:20:06,455
Jesus.
307
00:20:09,542 --> 00:20:10,543
Are you...
308
00:20:10,918 --> 00:20:13,087
- Are you okay?
- Yeah.
309
00:20:14,046 --> 00:20:15,005
Are you?
310
00:20:16,424 --> 00:20:18,718
You never told me
the whole story about Bryce.
311
00:20:19,260 --> 00:20:22,012
If I wanted to talk about that,
I'd go to stupid group therapy.
312
00:20:23,097 --> 00:20:23,973
Okay.
313
00:20:25,182 --> 00:20:26,100
Yeah, I get it.
314
00:20:26,517 --> 00:20:28,561
I don't even know the whole story myself.
315
00:20:29,645 --> 00:20:33,899
- I don't remember all of it.
- Yeah, me neither.
316
00:20:37,820 --> 00:20:38,863
Here we go.
317
00:20:40,489 --> 00:20:43,743
I think I saw one of those
chalk machine things in here somewhere.
318
00:20:44,285 --> 00:20:45,161
Which would mean?
319
00:20:47,204 --> 00:20:48,622
The pictures were taken at school.
320
00:20:49,540 --> 00:20:50,374
And?
321
00:20:51,500 --> 00:20:53,085
It would be huge for your case.
322
00:20:56,505 --> 00:20:57,590
And?
323
00:21:02,261 --> 00:21:04,180
And holy shit, there it is.
324
00:21:18,110 --> 00:21:19,403
We gotta find that room.
325
00:21:19,779 --> 00:21:22,156
"Do I put that target on my back
again and again?
326
00:21:22,531 --> 00:21:25,951
Or do I face a lifetime
of wanting the thing I should not have?"
327
00:21:26,827 --> 00:21:29,455
You've read three poems now,
so I'll ask you again,
328
00:21:30,414 --> 00:21:31,874
who were these poems about?
329
00:21:31,957 --> 00:21:33,876
Objection. Asked and answered.
330
00:21:33,959 --> 00:21:36,420
- Your Honor?
- I'll allow it.
331
00:21:43,344 --> 00:21:44,762
Who's the poem about, Ryan?
332
00:21:47,973 --> 00:21:48,808
Justin Foley.
333
00:21:51,143 --> 00:21:55,231
So, after Justin Foley, in her own words,
334
00:21:55,564 --> 00:21:58,067
"ruined her and destroyed her reputation,"
335
00:21:58,150 --> 00:22:00,027
she maintained contact with him?
336
00:22:00,820 --> 00:22:01,737
Yes.
337
00:22:02,029 --> 00:22:04,990
- And kept writing poetry about him?
- Yes.
338
00:22:05,866 --> 00:22:08,953
Nearly a half-dozen poems.
Any further mention of depression
339
00:22:09,036 --> 00:22:10,496
or cries for help?
340
00:22:13,123 --> 00:22:13,958
No.
341
00:22:14,708 --> 00:22:15,835
And to your knowledge,
342
00:22:16,669 --> 00:22:20,339
did she maintain personal contact
with Justin Foley?
343
00:22:20,756 --> 00:22:21,590
I...
344
00:22:23,175 --> 00:22:24,134
I don't know.
345
00:22:39,984 --> 00:22:41,610
Uh... hey.
346
00:22:42,945 --> 00:22:45,030
You texted me you were here.
347
00:22:45,114 --> 00:22:47,700
Never thinking you would, like,
come visit.
348
00:22:47,992 --> 00:22:49,743
Yeah, well...
349
00:22:51,579 --> 00:22:53,872
Did you just feel like a latte?
350
00:22:54,832 --> 00:22:57,042
Actually, do you think
they have Gatorade here?
351
00:22:57,126 --> 00:22:58,252
I'm guessing no.
352
00:23:00,087 --> 00:23:02,089
Yeah, I've actually never been in here.
353
00:23:02,506 --> 00:23:05,509
Well, neither have any of your friends,
so it's safe.
354
00:23:06,135 --> 00:23:07,052
That's not...
355
00:23:07,344 --> 00:23:08,178
I just...
356
00:23:11,640 --> 00:23:13,726
We haven't really talked
in a while, so I...
357
00:23:14,602 --> 00:23:17,229
I thought maybe I wanted to see you,
that's all.
358
00:23:17,313 --> 00:23:18,480
Well, you see me at school.
359
00:23:18,856 --> 00:23:20,691
Yeah, but you know how that is.
360
00:23:21,525 --> 00:23:23,027
I don't, really. How is it?
361
00:23:23,944 --> 00:23:25,529
Look, I don't fucking like it, either.
362
00:23:26,405 --> 00:23:29,742
But once you get tagged at Liberty,
that's what you've got.
363
00:23:30,075 --> 00:23:32,703
Your tag seems a little easier
to live with than mine.
364
00:23:32,786 --> 00:23:34,663
Look, I said I was sorry.
365
00:23:35,831 --> 00:23:37,458
I've been saying it for months.
366
00:23:38,083 --> 00:23:40,461
- Texting it, mostly.
- Well...
367
00:23:41,086 --> 00:23:42,546
I am.
368
00:23:44,381 --> 00:23:45,215
Sorry I'm late.
369
00:23:46,091 --> 00:23:48,677
- Why, hello, Justin.
- Uh, hey, hey. Wha...
370
00:23:49,470 --> 00:23:50,387
What's up?
371
00:23:51,847 --> 00:23:55,351
Yeah, we were just finishing up
some homework stuff, so...
372
00:23:56,060 --> 00:23:58,937
- Yeah, I'll see you at school.
- Sure. Talk to you at school.
373
00:24:03,734 --> 00:24:06,153
Look, he just showed up.
374
00:24:06,236 --> 00:24:08,697
- Hmm.
- I didn't ask him to.
375
00:24:11,659 --> 00:24:12,534
I know.
376
00:24:13,452 --> 00:24:16,747
- Okay, I know. Leave me alone.
- Cleanse him, Hannah, cleanse.
377
00:24:17,331 --> 00:24:18,374
Cleanse.
378
00:24:19,083 --> 00:24:22,628
I mean, she wrote about longing,
about love and the lack of love.
379
00:24:22,920 --> 00:24:24,755
Why didn't you publish any of those poems?
380
00:24:24,838 --> 00:24:26,465
Because they weren't any good.
381
00:24:26,548 --> 00:24:27,841
Ryan, be honest.
382
00:24:27,925 --> 00:24:30,552
You published the poem you did
not because it was her truth,
383
00:24:30,636 --> 00:24:33,972
but because you thought
it would shock the most, didn't you?
384
00:24:39,561 --> 00:24:40,396
No.
385
00:24:41,939 --> 00:24:45,609
She wasn't happy.
She was extremely upset and hurting.
386
00:24:45,984 --> 00:24:49,279
She wrote about Justin and...
and other boys because she was lonely.
387
00:24:51,365 --> 00:24:54,618
It's not about them,
it's about what they represented.
388
00:24:55,786 --> 00:24:57,955
What they did to her
and what you're doing right...
389
00:24:58,038 --> 00:25:00,374
No further questions, Your Honor.
Thank you, Ryan.
390
00:25:00,457 --> 00:25:01,625
Redirect, Your Honor?
391
00:25:02,584 --> 00:25:06,547
Ryan, why do you think Hannah
continued texting with Justin?
392
00:25:08,173 --> 00:25:09,967
Justin Foley was a bad decision.
393
00:25:10,801 --> 00:25:12,469
And we all make bad decisions.
394
00:25:13,762 --> 00:25:15,681
Especially when we're desperately alone.
395
00:25:17,349 --> 00:25:19,685
- Yeah, I think we should head back now.
- No.
396
00:25:20,519 --> 00:25:21,770
It's so nice out.
397
00:25:22,312 --> 00:25:25,899
Some fresh air, some vitamin D.
398
00:25:25,983 --> 00:25:27,276
- Yeah.
- Some... some...
399
00:25:28,736 --> 00:25:30,028
- Oh, shit.
- Oh, come on.
400
00:25:32,072 --> 00:25:32,906
Shit.
401
00:25:35,701 --> 00:25:37,453
- Sorry.
- Jesus Christ, man.
402
00:25:37,536 --> 00:25:38,912
Don't fucking talk to people.
403
00:25:39,538 --> 00:25:42,875
I was just apologizing
to the purple tracksuit lady. It's...
404
00:25:43,542 --> 00:25:44,418
Ugh.
405
00:25:44,501 --> 00:25:47,337
I don't get
this whole secret agent routine.
406
00:25:47,421 --> 00:25:48,672
Oh, really, you don't get
407
00:25:48,756 --> 00:25:51,508
that there are some people
who might not be happy to have you back?
408
00:25:55,095 --> 00:25:56,597
Jessica wants me back.
409
00:25:57,765 --> 00:25:59,099
That's all that fucking matters.
410
00:26:00,309 --> 00:26:01,935
Yeah. Yeah.
411
00:26:02,936 --> 00:26:06,315
- Right? That's what she said, right?
- I didn't talk to her, Clay did.
412
00:26:07,858 --> 00:26:09,359
He said she wants me here.
413
00:26:11,904 --> 00:26:12,905
I don't think...
414
00:26:13,530 --> 00:26:14,782
I don't think it's that simple.
415
00:26:16,283 --> 00:26:17,951
- I think she...
- What? What is it?
416
00:26:18,368 --> 00:26:19,661
Does that car look familiar?
417
00:26:20,454 --> 00:26:22,414
- Whose is it?
- I don't know. Obviously,
418
00:26:22,498 --> 00:26:25,083
they go to our school.
So you got your wish.
419
00:26:25,167 --> 00:26:26,794
Everybody's gonna know you're back.
420
00:26:33,258 --> 00:26:35,594
- I'm glad you came.
- Me, too.
421
00:26:36,512 --> 00:26:39,264
- That was a lot to take.
- Oh, today was a good day.
422
00:26:40,182 --> 00:26:42,100
It can get much worse, believe me.
423
00:26:42,935 --> 00:26:43,852
I believe you.
424
00:26:44,770 --> 00:26:45,646
See you tomorrow.
425
00:26:50,526 --> 00:26:52,778
It's nice seeing you two together.
426
00:26:54,279 --> 00:26:57,074
- Nice for the jury, too, right?
- That's not what I'm thinking.
427
00:26:57,157 --> 00:27:00,452
- Well, I am.
- Okay, I understand.
428
00:27:01,787 --> 00:27:03,330
I'm worried about you, though.
429
00:27:04,915 --> 00:27:07,167
It's easy to fall into old patterns,
430
00:27:07,918 --> 00:27:11,088
to rely on someone
who has proven unreliable.
431
00:27:13,799 --> 00:27:14,758
Don't worry.
432
00:27:16,176 --> 00:27:17,261
I've moved on.
433
00:27:18,846 --> 00:27:21,807
A lot of us keep holding on
even when we should let go.
434
00:27:31,650 --> 00:27:33,861
- Shit.
- Floors don't match.
435
00:27:35,237 --> 00:27:36,697
No couch.
436
00:27:37,781 --> 00:27:38,615
Damn it.
437
00:27:39,157 --> 00:27:41,910
There has to be
some athletics room somewhere.
438
00:27:42,786 --> 00:27:43,912
Maybe Justin could help.
439
00:27:47,207 --> 00:27:48,041
You would say that.
440
00:27:49,209 --> 00:27:50,335
What does that mean?
441
00:27:52,546 --> 00:27:55,841
- How are you so quick to forgive him?
- I didn't say I forgave him.
442
00:27:55,924 --> 00:27:59,261
Why do girls even like guys like Justin?
I mean, why did you?
443
00:27:59,761 --> 00:28:02,556
He's always been an asshole.
His best friend is a rapist.
444
00:28:02,639 --> 00:28:04,057
I didn't know that then.
445
00:28:05,267 --> 00:28:06,268
You were warned.
446
00:28:06,810 --> 00:28:08,812
- Kat warned you.
- Oh, so it's my fault?
447
00:28:10,856 --> 00:28:13,692
- I'm not saying that.
- What are you saying, then?
448
00:28:15,319 --> 00:28:16,153
I just...
449
00:28:19,364 --> 00:28:22,492
I don't understand why people love people
who aren't good for them.
450
00:28:23,035 --> 00:28:24,244
I don't know what to tell you.
451
00:28:25,454 --> 00:28:27,456
We don't choose who we fall for.
452
00:28:30,459 --> 00:28:31,293
Yeah.
453
00:28:33,712 --> 00:28:34,713
Tell me about it.
454
00:28:59,988 --> 00:29:01,240
You sure it was Justin?
455
00:29:01,323 --> 00:29:03,075
That's what I heard.
456
00:29:03,158 --> 00:29:05,535
Why would he be with Tony?
Think he came back to testify?
457
00:29:05,786 --> 00:29:08,997
- Fuck if I know, or care.
- All right, listen up.
458
00:29:11,959 --> 00:29:14,419
State guy's coming down tomorrow
to do the screens.
459
00:29:15,212 --> 00:29:17,297
So if that is a concern for you,
460
00:29:17,756 --> 00:29:19,007
see me in my office.
461
00:29:19,883 --> 00:29:20,717
Hey.
462
00:29:21,802 --> 00:29:24,596
You all set for tomorrow? For court?
You want me to come with you?
463
00:29:24,680 --> 00:29:26,974
That's all right, Coach. But thanks.
464
00:29:29,351 --> 00:29:31,103
Think that's why he came back?
465
00:29:31,186 --> 00:29:32,646
I don't know. Drop it.
466
00:29:34,022 --> 00:29:35,732
Go. Everything's fine.
467
00:29:36,483 --> 00:29:37,859
Yeah, you keep saying that.
468
00:29:38,277 --> 00:29:40,779
You tell me you've got shit
taken care of, but I don't see it.
469
00:29:41,738 --> 00:29:44,741
And why the fuck do you care, exactly?
470
00:29:45,242 --> 00:29:47,828
You, man. Us. State.
471
00:29:49,121 --> 00:29:50,289
All taken care of.
472
00:29:51,039 --> 00:29:53,041
Go. Get your synthetic pee.
473
00:29:56,169 --> 00:29:57,129
Zachy, you coming?
474
00:29:57,337 --> 00:29:59,172
No, I'm good, brother. Don't need it.
475
00:29:59,256 --> 00:30:00,674
Not gonna tell on us, are you?
476
00:30:01,717 --> 00:30:03,135
Why, you think I'm a rat?
477
00:30:04,219 --> 00:30:08,056
No, of course not.
I just wish I had your genes, man.
478
00:30:09,433 --> 00:30:11,143
You did all right.
479
00:30:11,226 --> 00:30:12,227
You flatter me.
480
00:30:13,145 --> 00:30:14,354
Got your back, brother.
481
00:30:17,858 --> 00:30:19,067
- Thanks, buddy.
- Yeah.
482
00:30:24,239 --> 00:30:25,115
Thanks, ladies.
483
00:30:25,824 --> 00:30:26,992
I'm probably overthinking it,
484
00:30:27,075 --> 00:30:30,037
but not every girl
gets to meet the parents, right?
485
00:30:30,120 --> 00:30:31,955
- True. Later, girl.
- Bye.
486
00:30:32,664 --> 00:30:33,707
Hey, Jess.
487
00:30:34,791 --> 00:30:37,044
- Great work today.
- Thanks.
488
00:30:37,127 --> 00:30:38,211
Sorry we had to end early.
489
00:30:38,420 --> 00:30:40,922
I have to go home and change
for dinner with Bryce's parents.
490
00:30:41,757 --> 00:30:44,509
- I have no idea what I'm gonna wear.
- Yeah.
491
00:30:45,844 --> 00:30:48,680
I'm sure you could wear anything, Chlöe,
and they'll still love you.
492
00:30:49,806 --> 00:30:50,640
Hey, Jess.
493
00:30:51,391 --> 00:30:54,353
We'll find you a man, okay?
You just have to let me help you.
494
00:30:54,686 --> 00:30:57,606
I mean it.
I kinda pride myself on my matchmaking...
495
00:30:57,689 --> 00:31:00,359
Look, Chlöe,
I don't want a fucking boyfriend.
496
00:31:00,442 --> 00:31:01,276
Okay?
497
00:31:02,486 --> 00:31:07,240
The last thing I need in my life right now
is some fucking guy.
498
00:31:07,908 --> 00:31:11,119
And you, the fact that you keep,
like, offering that...
499
00:31:12,704 --> 00:31:15,207
means you're just as fucking clueless
as I thought.
500
00:31:24,716 --> 00:31:26,468
I was trying
to be Hannah's friend.
501
00:31:27,552 --> 00:31:29,888
I needed a friend as much as she did.
502
00:31:33,058 --> 00:31:35,060
Um. Hi.
503
00:31:37,229 --> 00:31:38,063
Hi.
504
00:31:38,146 --> 00:31:38,980
I, um...
505
00:31:40,065 --> 00:31:43,151
I was friends with Hannah,
and I let her down, and I'm sorry.
506
00:31:43,735 --> 00:31:46,696
I just wanted to come by and say
what they're doing to her is bullshit.
507
00:31:49,282 --> 00:31:50,117
Thank you.
508
00:31:52,160 --> 00:31:53,161
Can I...?
509
00:31:55,872 --> 00:31:58,291
Can I ask you some questions
about Hannah's journals?
510
00:32:00,085 --> 00:32:00,919
Oh, um...
511
00:32:03,672 --> 00:32:05,215
Yes, of course.
512
00:32:14,433 --> 00:32:17,936
She mentions "the clubhouse"
in three different poems.
513
00:32:19,646 --> 00:32:22,315
"Something changed after the clubhouse.
514
00:32:23,775 --> 00:32:25,861
I imagined myself for a moment
one of the elite,
515
00:32:25,944 --> 00:32:28,363
but I never should have gone
to the clubhouse."
516
00:32:28,572 --> 00:32:30,365
"...in his lucky letter jacket."
517
00:32:30,449 --> 00:32:33,910
- That's gotta be Justin, right?
- It could be.
518
00:32:34,661 --> 00:32:35,495
I don't know.
519
00:32:36,913 --> 00:32:38,748
I don't remember anything
about a clubhouse.
520
00:32:38,832 --> 00:32:39,666
Damn it.
521
00:32:40,584 --> 00:32:44,129
Okay. What about "the intruder"?
522
00:32:45,213 --> 00:32:49,009
He comes up several times, too.
There's a whole poem about him.
523
00:32:49,426 --> 00:32:52,262
"Sometimes the intruder
doesn't need to break a window.
524
00:32:52,637 --> 00:32:54,598
Sometimes they already have the key."
525
00:32:55,432 --> 00:32:56,516
Do you know this one?
526
00:32:57,434 --> 00:32:58,268
No.
527
00:32:59,978 --> 00:33:01,938
I think it's about the bullying
at the school.
528
00:33:03,315 --> 00:33:04,733
The house is on fire,
529
00:33:05,567 --> 00:33:07,277
her lungs are filling up with smoke,
530
00:33:07,360 --> 00:33:08,778
and the intruder,
531
00:33:09,112 --> 00:33:12,449
it's this other Hannah
that everyone thought they knew.
532
00:33:12,532 --> 00:33:13,909
Oh, no, that makes sense.
533
00:33:23,502 --> 00:33:24,961
It's fucking useless, Ryan.
534
00:33:25,295 --> 00:33:29,174
We write and write about shit,
and nothing ever changes. I'm done.
535
00:33:29,591 --> 00:33:32,344
Hannah, you have a gift.
Not gonna let you throw that away.
536
00:33:32,844 --> 00:33:33,678
A gift?
537
00:33:34,262 --> 00:33:37,098
- You say that so easily like you know.
- I do.
538
00:33:37,182 --> 00:33:38,517
Yeah, well, I wish I did.
539
00:33:39,267 --> 00:33:41,228
I wish I didn't need people
to tell me I'm good,
540
00:33:41,311 --> 00:33:43,772
or that they like me, but I do.
541
00:33:44,272 --> 00:33:47,234
That... That's great stuff.
That's what you should write about.
542
00:33:47,317 --> 00:33:48,151
No.
543
00:33:48,235 --> 00:33:50,946
Enough writing about my emotions.
Can we just eat them?
544
00:33:51,029 --> 00:33:53,532
Yeah, we can totally eat them.
545
00:33:55,617 --> 00:33:57,827
Vanilla or mint chocolate chip?
546
00:33:58,370 --> 00:34:01,331
Please. Vanilla is not a flavor.
It's an admission of defeat.
547
00:34:08,380 --> 00:34:11,675
Hannah was so talented,
but she didn't know it.
548
00:34:13,718 --> 00:34:15,845
She wrote out of love, out of need.
549
00:34:20,850 --> 00:34:23,770
And I wanted to show her
that the rush of people loving your work
550
00:34:23,853 --> 00:34:25,272
is just as good as love.
551
00:34:38,952 --> 00:34:40,537
It was just one poem.
552
00:34:48,878 --> 00:34:49,713
But I was wrong.
553
00:34:50,547 --> 00:34:52,549
I'm sorry I can't be more helpful.
554
00:34:54,718 --> 00:35:01,182
Sometimes I fantasize that all the answers
are in these torn-out pages.
555
00:35:01,641 --> 00:35:04,436
Oh, I... I don't think so, I...
556
00:35:06,521 --> 00:35:08,690
I imagine those are just
false starts or...
557
00:35:09,816 --> 00:35:13,403
things she was ashamed
to even admit to herself.
558
00:35:14,321 --> 00:35:16,573
Why did she keep in contact with Justin?
559
00:35:17,407 --> 00:35:18,325
Loneliness.
560
00:35:20,410 --> 00:35:21,995
It can be intense at our age.
561
00:35:23,038 --> 00:35:24,414
It's not just at your age.
562
00:35:30,962 --> 00:35:32,839
What she needed most was love.
563
00:35:33,882 --> 00:35:34,883
Human connection.
564
00:36:02,786 --> 00:36:07,207
You didn't quit cheerleading
because Justin's back?
565
00:36:10,460 --> 00:36:12,545
I know, news travels fast in these halls.
566
00:36:13,380 --> 00:36:14,255
Don't care.
567
00:36:14,464 --> 00:36:16,508
- You don't care that he's back?
- No.
568
00:36:16,800 --> 00:36:17,884
Know where he's staying?
569
00:36:21,304 --> 00:36:22,597
Justin needs help, too.
570
00:36:24,265 --> 00:36:26,017
He should be enrolled in school.
571
00:36:26,393 --> 00:36:30,146
The only address I have of him
is his dad in Sacramento.
572
00:36:32,982 --> 00:36:33,817
Oh, well.
573
00:36:34,484 --> 00:36:36,903
Jess, I'll be honest.
574
00:36:38,780 --> 00:36:42,325
I know what it's like to try to be strong
575
00:36:43,076 --> 00:36:44,828
and keep your problems all to you.
576
00:36:45,787 --> 00:36:46,871
But it does not work.
577
00:36:49,582 --> 00:36:51,000
You don't have to talk to me.
578
00:36:53,461 --> 00:36:55,004
But talk to someone.
579
00:36:56,089 --> 00:36:58,091
If I don't have to talk to you, can I go?
580
00:37:07,142 --> 00:37:08,518
Justin's never met his dad.
581
00:37:10,145 --> 00:37:12,605
His mom lives with some drug dealer
named Seth.
582
00:37:28,121 --> 00:37:30,081
- Do you think she likes her?
- Your mother?
583
00:37:30,165 --> 00:37:31,541
- Yeah.
- Uh, sure.
584
00:37:35,003 --> 00:37:36,921
Chlöe's a great girl. Very pretty.
585
00:37:37,338 --> 00:37:40,467
Yeah, she's got a brain, too.
Her grades are better than mine.
586
00:37:42,218 --> 00:37:43,094
And she's loyal?
587
00:37:44,804 --> 00:37:45,722
Yeah.
588
00:37:47,098 --> 00:37:48,183
That's important.
589
00:37:48,558 --> 00:37:51,060
- You did good.
- Thanks, Dad.
590
00:37:52,687 --> 00:37:53,605
Here we go.
591
00:37:55,356 --> 00:37:56,274
Wow.
592
00:37:57,567 --> 00:37:59,819
You seem quite happy, the two of you.
593
00:37:59,903 --> 00:38:03,948
Oh, yeah, absolutely.
He's so sweet to me, like, all the time.
594
00:38:04,032 --> 00:38:05,200
- Sweet?
- Yeah.
595
00:38:05,909 --> 00:38:07,827
That's good to hear.
596
00:38:17,003 --> 00:38:19,464
Oh. Cheerleading. Full-contact sport.
597
00:38:20,882 --> 00:38:21,883
I see.
598
00:38:26,012 --> 00:38:27,222
How do you know about Justin?
599
00:38:27,847 --> 00:38:30,558
Because Jessica told me
when we ditched with your car yesterday.
600
00:38:31,476 --> 00:38:32,936
Said that Clay went and found him.
601
00:38:33,770 --> 00:38:34,938
- Clay?
- Yeah.
602
00:38:36,231 --> 00:38:39,651
Okay, do you know anything about
where he's living or why he's back?
603
00:38:39,734 --> 00:38:42,362
No, Zach, and I really don't fucking care.
604
00:38:42,445 --> 00:38:44,614
Why is everything always
about fucking Justin?
605
00:38:44,697 --> 00:38:47,659
Whoa. Relax, dude. It's not.
606
00:38:49,536 --> 00:38:52,956
- Hey, are you okay?
- Yeah.
607
00:38:53,414 --> 00:38:55,083
Jessica and I kissed yesterday.
608
00:38:56,584 --> 00:38:57,502
Seriously?
609
00:38:57,961 --> 00:38:59,712
Dude, that's... that's great.
610
00:39:01,214 --> 00:39:02,048
Is that great?
611
00:39:02,966 --> 00:39:05,218
Yeah, well,
but then she freaked out on me.
612
00:39:06,386 --> 00:39:08,638
And now it's just...
It's totally weird. I...
613
00:39:10,390 --> 00:39:12,809
Yeah, that makes sense
that she would freak out.
614
00:39:13,601 --> 00:39:17,188
Yeah. But I just... I still think
it has something to do with Justin.
615
00:39:18,231 --> 00:39:20,149
And you know what's the most fucked up?
616
00:39:21,442 --> 00:39:23,820
When we kissed,
I couldn't even feel anything.
617
00:39:25,613 --> 00:39:29,200
- You mean, like, emotionally, or...?
- No, like, down there.
618
00:39:29,909 --> 00:39:30,952
I was just numb.
619
00:39:32,996 --> 00:39:35,665
I haven't really felt anything,
like, post-coma.
620
00:39:36,875 --> 00:39:39,669
- Have you tried porn?
- Yeah, of course I've tried porn.
621
00:39:39,752 --> 00:39:42,297
But I thought with a real person,
maybe it would, you know.
622
00:39:43,548 --> 00:39:48,219
Yeah. Well, dude, honestly, it'll happen.
You just gotta find the right girl.
623
00:39:48,803 --> 00:39:49,804
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
624
00:39:50,305 --> 00:39:52,515
All right, well, let me know
when you find yours.
625
00:39:53,558 --> 00:39:56,436
Maybe she's got a friend
who's into scrawny and broken.
626
00:39:57,604 --> 00:39:59,063
Well, not broken forever.
627
00:40:00,273 --> 00:40:01,232
Let's go. Come on.
628
00:40:07,030 --> 00:40:08,406
I'm sorry, Sheri.
629
00:40:08,573 --> 00:40:10,742
He went to the movies with his dad.
630
00:40:11,492 --> 00:40:15,747
- He must have forgotten to text you.
- Yeah, he must have.
631
00:40:16,831 --> 00:40:21,544
I'm happy that you two are friends again.
I know you've been through a great deal.
632
00:40:21,920 --> 00:40:23,379
Yeah, we have.
633
00:40:23,922 --> 00:40:26,382
I think Clay's still working
on trying to forgive me.
634
00:40:26,925 --> 00:40:30,178
- Well, if he asked you to come study...
- Yeah.
635
00:40:30,762 --> 00:40:33,139
Actually, why don't you stay?
Wait for him.
636
00:40:33,973 --> 00:40:34,807
Sure.
637
00:40:40,188 --> 00:40:42,899
Can I ask you a question
for a case that I'm working on?
638
00:40:44,901 --> 00:40:49,197
Let's say a boy and a girl, uh,
have been texting a lot,
639
00:40:49,781 --> 00:40:53,618
and then all of a sudden, it stops,
what would that mean?
640
00:40:54,410 --> 00:40:57,497
Well, they were probably dating, right?
Then they broke up.
641
00:40:57,580 --> 00:40:58,873
What if they never dated?
642
00:40:59,207 --> 00:41:02,043
Oh. That's probably just a hookup.
643
00:41:04,003 --> 00:41:06,631
Hannah was desperate
for human connection,
644
00:41:06,923 --> 00:41:08,508
and I betrayed her.
645
00:41:12,011 --> 00:41:14,764
I guess I left her even more lonely
than she was before.
646
00:41:19,644 --> 00:41:21,437
And I guess I know how she feels.
647
00:41:41,749 --> 00:41:42,792
How'd it go today?
648
00:41:42,917 --> 00:41:45,920
Um. Not great, actually.
649
00:41:46,421 --> 00:41:48,589
You're fine.
I didn't say anything, if you're worried.
650
00:41:48,673 --> 00:41:52,593
I wasn't. I... just wanted to know
how you were doing.
651
00:41:53,970 --> 00:41:54,887
Are you here alone?
652
00:41:56,764 --> 00:41:58,891
- You wanna join us?
- "Us"?
653
00:42:00,268 --> 00:42:03,104
Caleb, Ryan. Ryan, Caleb.
654
00:42:03,521 --> 00:42:05,440
- Nice to meet you.
- Nice...
655
00:42:06,607 --> 00:42:08,317
handshake, wow.
656
00:42:08,985 --> 00:42:10,945
Sure you don't wanna join us?
657
00:42:12,280 --> 00:42:14,907
Yeah, actually, no, I was just leaving.
I got stood up.
658
00:42:15,033 --> 00:42:18,578
Apparently, my date joined the app today.
He's a noob, so you know. Just...
659
00:42:18,911 --> 00:42:19,746
Um...
660
00:42:19,954 --> 00:42:23,458
Forget him. Stay.
Plus I want some dirt on Mr. Perfect here.
661
00:42:23,750 --> 00:42:26,711
- Oh, he knows about our past, that's...
- Barely any of it.
662
00:42:27,295 --> 00:42:29,422
You're not interested
in high school bullshit.
663
00:42:29,505 --> 00:42:31,758
If it's about you, I am.
664
00:42:32,800 --> 00:42:35,845
Come on, Ryan. Seriously. Stay.
665
00:42:38,890 --> 00:42:42,477
What Hannah needed was a friend,
and I wasn't that.
666
00:42:44,854 --> 00:42:48,274
For the longest time,
nothing was the same.
667
00:42:49,233 --> 00:42:52,779
How long I slept, what I ate, what I wore.
668
00:42:55,114 --> 00:42:57,283
I mean, my clothes
didn't feel like me anymore.
669
00:42:57,784 --> 00:42:59,535
Bright colors made me feel like a fraud
670
00:42:59,619 --> 00:43:01,954
and my black clothes
didn't seem dark enough, and...
671
00:43:02,205 --> 00:43:05,792
Just nothing seemed to fit.
Just literally everything felt like a lie.
672
00:43:07,126 --> 00:43:10,755
And nothing I did seemed to help.
No drink, no drug.
673
00:43:12,381 --> 00:43:15,468
Well, I didn't actually try every drug,
674
00:43:15,551 --> 00:43:18,888
but let me tell you, weed just had me
crying and all in my feelings.
675
00:43:19,972 --> 00:43:22,934
You know, but the one thing
that did seem to help was all of you.
676
00:43:24,268 --> 00:43:25,853
And I'm thankful today that just...
677
00:43:27,063 --> 00:43:28,397
coming here and talking to you
678
00:43:28,481 --> 00:43:30,942
has been the thing
that's brought me back to who I am.
679
00:43:32,318 --> 00:43:34,987
You know, a loud, pushy, pain in the ass.
680
00:43:37,740 --> 00:43:40,409
But you know you love me, and I love you.
681
00:43:42,620 --> 00:43:43,579
Thank you.
682
00:43:50,211 --> 00:43:51,254
Took you long enough.
683
00:43:55,007 --> 00:43:56,008
How did you know?
684
00:43:57,260 --> 00:43:58,261
About me.
685
00:43:58,636 --> 00:44:01,055
Um, I didn't.
686
00:44:01,639 --> 00:44:03,891
I just figured in case
those rumors were bullshit,
687
00:44:03,975 --> 00:44:06,269
which they obviously were,
that I'd be a friendly face.
688
00:44:07,436 --> 00:44:11,065
Friendly and slightly stalkerish?
689
00:44:11,482 --> 00:44:13,359
I don't stalk. I lurk.
690
00:44:13,442 --> 00:44:15,778
- Oh, okay.
- And it worked, didn't it?
691
00:44:18,656 --> 00:44:20,199
Yeah.
692
00:44:26,706 --> 00:44:28,291
Honey?
693
00:44:34,547 --> 00:44:35,715
Turn it down.
694
00:44:36,340 --> 00:44:38,176
- What?
- Turn the music down.
695
00:44:41,804 --> 00:44:43,055
Hey, sorry, what?
696
00:44:43,472 --> 00:44:44,849
That's, um...
697
00:44:46,434 --> 00:44:47,935
some music.
698
00:44:48,811 --> 00:44:50,521
- It's punk.
- Oh.
699
00:44:52,857 --> 00:44:54,775
They sound angry.
700
00:44:54,942 --> 00:44:56,402
- They are.
- Oh.
701
00:44:57,570 --> 00:44:59,530
Okay. Uh...
702
00:45:01,365 --> 00:45:02,950
What are they so angry about?
703
00:45:04,452 --> 00:45:05,453
Everything.
704
00:45:06,996 --> 00:45:08,247
- I see.
- Yeah.
705
00:45:12,376 --> 00:45:15,421
Mr. Barbour called today.
From up the street.
706
00:45:16,297 --> 00:45:20,676
He said he saw you and your friend, Cyrus,
shooting guns on his property.
707
00:45:21,260 --> 00:45:24,221
What? Shooting guns?
708
00:45:25,723 --> 00:45:28,684
That wasn't me. I don't know, I...
709
00:45:28,768 --> 00:45:30,686
- That old guy's crazy, I guess.
- No.
710
00:45:31,062 --> 00:45:34,357
He said it was you. That's why
he called me and not the police.
711
00:45:37,944 --> 00:45:41,739
Oh, wait, does he mean...
does he mean Cyrus' BB gun?
712
00:45:42,448 --> 00:45:45,242
- Is that what he's talking about?
- A BB gun?
713
00:45:45,326 --> 00:45:48,579
It's like this old thing Cyrus has.
It's like a toy.
714
00:45:49,080 --> 00:45:50,206
You know, it's not real.
715
00:45:50,665 --> 00:45:53,250
- Maybe that's what he saw.
- Oh. Okay.
716
00:45:54,168 --> 00:45:55,044
Hmm.
717
00:45:55,127 --> 00:45:57,672
Still, you know how I feel
about guns of any kind.
718
00:45:57,755 --> 00:46:00,758
Yeah. No, I do, I do.
And I even... I told Cyrus that.
719
00:46:00,841 --> 00:46:03,803
Which is why we went to
Mr. Barbour's field to be extra careful.
720
00:46:04,261 --> 00:46:06,430
And did Cyrus give you that music?
721
00:46:07,139 --> 00:46:08,182
And that shirt?
722
00:46:09,850 --> 00:46:13,229
We made the shirts ourselves, you know.
723
00:46:13,521 --> 00:46:14,897
They're quite bold.
724
00:46:15,398 --> 00:46:17,900
I hope you save them
for the appropriate audience,
725
00:46:18,401 --> 00:46:19,485
and not school.
726
00:46:21,487 --> 00:46:22,989
- Yeah.
- Mm-hmm.
727
00:46:25,783 --> 00:46:26,617
Okay.
728
00:46:28,536 --> 00:46:29,412
Well...
729
00:46:34,333 --> 00:46:36,419
- Don't stay up too late.
- I won't.
730
00:46:38,546 --> 00:46:39,797
- G'night. Love you.
- Good night.
731
00:46:51,976 --> 00:46:53,686
Hey, there.
732
00:46:53,936 --> 00:46:54,812
Hi.
733
00:46:55,980 --> 00:46:58,858
I think there's something wrong
with your camera.
734
00:46:59,900 --> 00:47:02,069
Oh, yeah, it's broken, so...
735
00:47:02,820 --> 00:47:05,031
What's your name, cutie?
736
00:47:05,364 --> 00:47:06,198
Um...
737
00:47:07,241 --> 00:47:09,160
My name is Zach.
738
00:47:10,286 --> 00:47:13,330
Well, hi, Zach.
739
00:47:15,124 --> 00:47:19,420
If I can't see you,
how will I know how big and hard you are?
740
00:47:21,088 --> 00:47:22,173
Um...
741
00:47:22,256 --> 00:47:24,050
Well, I could describe myself.
742
00:47:24,967 --> 00:47:26,719
Yeah, I'm 6'3".
743
00:47:27,094 --> 00:47:29,430
I'm jacked 'cause I work out a lot.
744
00:47:30,014 --> 00:47:32,266
Sounds like a hot bod.
745
00:47:33,392 --> 00:47:34,852
You like this?
746
00:47:37,104 --> 00:47:40,691
- Yeah, I do like that.
- Mm-hmm.
747
00:47:42,485 --> 00:47:45,321
- Yeah, that's good.
- Oh. Oh, yeah.
748
00:47:48,741 --> 00:47:49,909
Mmm.
749
00:47:54,121 --> 00:47:55,873
Oh, God.
750
00:47:56,665 --> 00:48:00,336
Fuck! God damn it.
751
00:48:02,046 --> 00:48:04,507
What's wrong? You don't like?
752
00:48:04,882 --> 00:48:08,010
No. I mean, yes, I do, I...
753
00:48:08,511 --> 00:48:11,680
No, I do like it.
It's not you, it's me. I just...
754
00:48:13,974 --> 00:48:15,142
I don't work.
755
00:48:17,394 --> 00:48:18,229
And I'm not...
756
00:48:18,938 --> 00:48:21,190
I'm not 6'3", I'm not jacked, I'm...
757
00:48:22,691 --> 00:48:26,904
I'm really skinny and funny-looking,
and my dick's broken.
758
00:48:28,155 --> 00:48:29,448
Okay. Um...
759
00:48:30,116 --> 00:48:32,827
Honey, how old are you?
760
00:48:34,286 --> 00:48:36,080
- Twenty-five.
- Uh-huh.
761
00:48:37,540 --> 00:48:39,375
Look, it's 18 or older.
762
00:48:40,209 --> 00:48:41,627
Sorry, kiddo.
763
00:48:51,178 --> 00:48:53,305
I'm sorry. I didn't get your text message.
764
00:48:53,389 --> 00:48:56,225
The procedure is if you see the car,
you go through the window.
765
00:48:56,308 --> 00:48:57,977
Your whole family has the same car.
766
00:48:58,060 --> 00:48:59,895
- I thought it was you.
- Mine is smaller.
767
00:48:59,979 --> 00:49:00,938
Okay, anyways,
768
00:49:01,147 --> 00:49:03,691
I made an excuse to go to your room
and use your bathroom,
769
00:49:03,774 --> 00:49:06,694
so that Tony could leave,
and Justin's been asleep ever since.
770
00:49:07,444 --> 00:49:10,739
Well, at least he didn't get discovered.
771
00:49:11,782 --> 00:49:14,326
Yeah, um, about that...
772
00:49:22,251 --> 00:49:24,003
When were you gonna tell me
someone saw you?
773
00:49:24,879 --> 00:49:26,839
When were you gonna tell me about Jess?
774
00:49:28,424 --> 00:49:29,675
I talked to Tony.
775
00:49:30,092 --> 00:49:33,053
- She doesn't want me here, does she?
- It's complicated.
776
00:49:33,137 --> 00:49:35,306
- You lied to me.
- No, I... It's the truth.
777
00:49:35,389 --> 00:49:38,225
Jessica just... doesn't realize it yet.
778
00:49:38,309 --> 00:49:39,935
She'll change her mind.
779
00:49:40,019 --> 00:49:42,062
You have to get sober, and she'll see.
780
00:49:42,146 --> 00:49:43,230
Fuck that.
781
00:49:45,316 --> 00:49:46,609
I'm wasting my time.
782
00:49:48,694 --> 00:49:50,070
She kept your postcard.
783
00:49:53,199 --> 00:49:54,450
It's how we found you.
784
00:49:56,118 --> 00:49:57,953
She kept it, Justin.
785
00:49:58,037 --> 00:50:00,247
"Nancy, I'll always love you. Sid."
786
00:50:01,832 --> 00:50:02,958
Why would she keep that?
787
00:50:07,922 --> 00:50:09,340
I really did love her.
788
00:50:13,844 --> 00:50:14,678
So, stay.
789
00:50:22,770 --> 00:50:25,022
Do you wanna know why
Hannah wrote these poems?
790
00:50:26,774 --> 00:50:27,858
She was reaching out.
791
00:50:28,275 --> 00:50:31,070
She was desperate to be heard,
to connect.
792
00:50:34,198 --> 00:50:36,492
And people took that lifeline
and they twisted it.
793
00:50:38,994 --> 00:50:39,828
Hey, kiddo.
794
00:50:41,789 --> 00:50:43,415
- You okay?
- Yeah.
795
00:50:45,459 --> 00:50:46,877
Uh, I was...
796
00:50:48,420 --> 00:50:50,714
I was thinking
maybe I'd try to sleep in here tonight.
797
00:50:51,674 --> 00:50:52,508
Really?
798
00:50:55,844 --> 00:50:58,973
- That's wonderful.
- Yeah, well, it's fine.
799
00:51:01,892 --> 00:51:04,812
Do you want me to tuck you in,
or is that silly?
800
00:51:06,814 --> 00:51:07,815
Silly.
801
00:51:11,193 --> 00:51:13,279
They took her own story
away from her.
802
00:51:17,783 --> 00:51:19,368
And she fought to get it back.
803
00:51:26,125 --> 00:51:28,127
- Who are you?
- Kevin Porter.
804
00:51:28,460 --> 00:51:31,422
Guidance counselor at Liberty High.
805
00:51:31,588 --> 00:51:32,715
I'm looking for your son.
806
00:51:32,798 --> 00:51:34,800
Look, what can I tell you? He ran away.
807
00:51:35,175 --> 00:51:38,053
You don't wanna know how he's doing,
or is he alive, or...?
808
00:51:38,137 --> 00:51:41,056
He can take care of himself, okay?
Always has.
809
00:51:41,140 --> 00:51:43,601
Ma'am, he's 17 years old.
810
00:51:44,226 --> 00:51:45,394
Who the fuck are you?
811
00:51:48,230 --> 00:51:52,693
I'm Justin's guidance counselor,
Kevin Porter. And you are?
812
00:51:53,068 --> 00:51:55,904
I'm the one that punk
stole a thousand dollars from.
813
00:51:56,405 --> 00:51:57,990
So you gonna get me my money back?
814
00:51:58,449 --> 00:52:00,451
Well, I'm not really here for that.
815
00:52:00,534 --> 00:52:03,329
Then I suggest
you get the fuck off my property.
816
00:52:04,538 --> 00:52:06,957
Listen. Justin, he needs a home.
817
00:52:07,624 --> 00:52:11,128
Well, he had a home, and he fucked it up.
Case closed.
818
00:52:11,211 --> 00:52:13,547
- Goodbye.
- Okay, I wish you would back off.
819
00:52:15,007 --> 00:52:16,675
- Or what?
- Don't do that, man.
820
00:52:17,509 --> 00:52:19,178
You gonna give me detention, huh?
821
00:52:22,723 --> 00:52:24,141
Ah! Come on!
822
00:52:31,732 --> 00:52:32,858
But in the end,
823
00:52:32,941 --> 00:52:35,944
the story they told was so loud
that it's all that she could hear...
824
00:52:37,237 --> 00:52:40,574
and she started to believe it
and forgot who she was.
825
00:52:45,412 --> 00:52:46,372
Fuck.
826
00:52:48,248 --> 00:52:51,585
It's easy to let that happen,
to lose yourself.
827
00:52:54,671 --> 00:52:57,007
To believe that no one
could ever know you,
828
00:52:57,925 --> 00:52:58,759
or love you.
829
00:53:08,977 --> 00:53:12,064
And that you're the only person
that knows what you're going through.
830
00:53:19,029 --> 00:53:21,365
And you convince yourself
it's going to get better.
831
00:53:24,034 --> 00:53:25,035
And then, it doesn't.
832
00:53:44,805 --> 00:53:46,849
For help finding crisis resources,
833
00:53:46,932 --> 00:53:49,184
visit 13reasonswhy.info.
834
00:56:13,245 --> 00:56:15,247
Well done, Ed. Well done.
62782
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