Original subtitles

This is good.

All right.

Why do I have to go to bed so early?

It's really not that early.

Just hang out, look at your phone, and you'll fall asleep soon.

It's daytime outside still. It's almost dark.

It's not that early.

Right? I don't want to go to bed yet.

Well, you kind of got to go to bed, like now.

Why? I'm just gonna stay in here and you gotta be quiet, alright?

Why?

Because I have a friend coming over.

Who?

Just a friend.

Never mind. You won't even know they're here.

Okay? Just... A guy?

Yeah.

Are you gonna have sex with him?

No.

what are you guys gonna do we're just gonna hang out listen hey did you get to

do everything you wanted to do today yeah okay what'd you get to do i got to

play video games okay for like eight hours for like eight hours yeah exactly

listen i'm your mom's best friend she left me in charge here and now

i let you do what you wanted to do right yeah okay for eight hours yeah yeah all

right my mom would be like so mad i know exactly so she doesn't even have to know

about that remember oh yeah i'm gonna keep a secret i'm gonna keep a secret

for you okay okay so you know about that i have to go to

bed really early i know you have to go to bed it's not that early all right

okay okay so just stay in here be quiet

and go to sleep all right all right just you gotta tell me a story though first

i'm gonna tell you a story a bedtime story a bedtime come on my mom always

tells me a bedtime story before i go to sleep she does not yes she does you're

just stalling i'm not a bedtime story yeah tell me about that story i won't be

able to fall asleep if you don't tell me a bedtime story this is ridiculous a

bedtime story okay seriously yeah

and then you're gonna be quiet right promise

so

so once upon a time

there was a prince right

was he handsome yeah all princes are handsome right

yeah usually and

And he had to rescue a princess.

Did he have, like, a sword?

Sure.

How big was it?

Huge.

Did he have to use, like, both hands when he used it?

All the time.

Oh, okay.

Okay. Are we moving on now?

Yeah. All right.

Is that enough story?

I can go?

Yes. All right.

That's it?

No, you keep going on the story. You didn't say anything yet. I don't need to

know anything else about the sword.

Alright, so the prince had to rescue this princess because... Was she pretty?

She was gorgeous.

He was handsome. She was gorgeous. He had a big sword.

Alright, so... Did she have big boobs?

Probably. Nice.

Keep going.

And she was kidnapped.

And she needed rescuing. That's why the prince was after her. She needed

rescuing because, well, because an evil,

evil magician, sorcerer guy kidnapped her.

A wizard?

Yeah, like that.

Sure. Oh, yeah.

And then...

He captured her and he locked her inside a castle at the very top of the tower

and wouldn't let her out.

Why did he do that?

Because he was evil.

Oh.

And then... And then the prince had to...

break down the castle walls and when he did there was a big evil dragon and he

got to use his big sword and he fought his way all the way up to the top of the

castle wait did he kill the dragon well he fought his way all the way to the top

of the castle and fought the dragon and yeah he killed the dragon because that's

a big sword right but the dragon was big probably yeah

but then i don't know but then but

then the wizard was at the top right the evil wizard with the princess yeah he

was up there oh yeah he was gonna you know keep her and stuff but um

so he cast a spell and um he threw the the prince over the

castle walls and he died what Yeah.

The prince fell out of the castle? Mm-hmm. And he died?

Yeah.

And then what happened?

Well, the princess, she kind of liked it there, and the evil wizard, he was not

so bad after he got to know him, so she stayed.

Okay. That's really sad.

The end. That's not how this story's supposed to end.

It was my story.

All right. You.

okay well now yeah well okay well that was not a good story but

okay i'm ready just do the thing and then i'll go i'll go sleep okay the

thing yeah the thing the thing what thing

like the thing the thing yeah

what

The thing. There it is, the thing. Yeah.

Yeah, okay.

So this just got really weird.

That's not weird.

It's weird.

Yeah, like the, like... That's how I fall asleep. My mom does it every night.

You're full of shit.

No, I'm serious.

She, like, you know.

And the stuff comes out, and then I go to sleep.

Jesus, I'm not allowed to do it myself.

What? Well, I tried to do it myself one time, and, like, I, like, almost had to

go to the hospital. So she just does it.

Um, yeah.

So I'm not doing that.

Why am I supposed to fall asleep?

You look at your phone.

you count sheep i don't know and then you just go to sleep

no you gotta do the thing i'm not doing the thing all right well i'm not gonna

go to sleep then look look watch here you do the thing look there's here's

your hand here's your hand now look there see you go like this you

do the thing okay there there there's the thing

It feels weird.

I don't like it.

You do it.

This is not part of the job.

All right, well, I might go full sleep if you don't do it. I'm just saying.

Oh, my god.

I'll just, like, I don't know.

I'll just do, like, exercises or something.

That would make a lot of noise.

Yeah. I cannot be making noise.

I don't understand what the big deal is.

I don't just lose it. It's like... If I do the thing, you go to sleep and you

leave me alone, right?

Yeah, I promise.

You don't tell my secret and I don't tell yours?

Yeah.

How long does this normally last?

Not really long.

Oh, yeah.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. That was not part of the description of the... Oh,

well, my mama usually already has hers out already.

That's part of it.

You gotta have these out.

That makes it... Oh, my God.

All right.

Are we almost done?

Yeah, I think so.

Let's do this faster.

This happens every night?

Yeah.

With your mom's chits up?

Yeah.

I mean,

she usually puts her mouth on it too.

Not every night, but sometimes.

Well, I'm not putting my mouth on it.

Here, give me your hand. You can do this. You can do this. Give me your

hand. See?

I'm trying.

You are capable.

Come on.

See? That's all you gotta do. This feels terrible when I do it.

Well, well.

Maybe you should get a girlfriend.

Do you want a girlfriend?

Hmm? You could be my girlfriend.

Yeah.

I'm not your girlfriend.

Well, I was just saying.

All right, so he's going to be here soon. Can we get this moving?

Well, I mean, if you put your mouth on it, it definitely would make it go fast.

My mom does that. It goes really fast.

Are we ready?

Yeah. You wanna come now? Yeah.

Okay, good.

Wait, I like doing it like this better.

Wait, what are you doing? What's going on? What are you doing?

What are you doing? Like this.

What?

Come on.

That's how I do it with my mom all the time.

What are you doing?

I just want to touch your bum.

Oh, you should let me put it in there.

Look, it's wet because I've been thinking about my boyfriend, okay?

He's coming over.

Okay. Can we just finish this so I can go, you know?

Okay.

Yeah, just let me stick it in there.

What? Let me stick it in there.

No.

No.

Look.

You said to do the thing. I did the thing. And that wasn't good enough. And

then you said you have to do this other thing.

So I did that thing. Now that's not good enough. You're not putting it in my

pussy.

Yeah, but that would like... Let me just suck you off so you can come and be done

with this.

That would like come super fast.

My mom won't let me do that with her, but she said maybe soon.

If I'm good.

Please. Please what?

Let me stick it in there.

Just for a second.

Let me do this for you. This is the best.

Okay.

Are we done with this now?

Oh yeah.

Yeah, I'm gonna do it.

Just wait a couple more seconds, okay? Okay.

Maybe. Maybe just a little longer.

Are you going to do it?

Well, yeah, a little bit.

Can you just wait a little more? Yeah, okay.

I'm sorry.

Ugh.

You're not gonna come yet?

No, I am not.

Huh?

like all the videos I watch.

It's fine. That's a lot.

Sure thing.