Original subtitles

Let's took a look At the weather maps.

We've got some clouds moving Into the area,

And in terms Of precipitation --

Light snow flurries Through the day

Followed by heavier snowfall This evening.

It looks like we're gonna have A very white Christmas.

Snow I do not need today.

%% Fa-la-la, la-la-la, La-la-la %%

Renee -- Jane.

Sorry to do this On such short notice,

But I need you to cancel My 11:00.

Please schedule the meeting After Christmas.

I really need to get some Shopping done.

I haven't bought a thing.

Oh, I don't know.

You know, send flowers,

Apologize, tell him I had Some sort of emergency.

You know the drill. Thanks, bye-bye.

%% Fa-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la %%

%% Strike the harp And join the chorus %%

%% Fa-la-la-la-la %%

%% La-la-la-la %%

Also, can you get me directions To Mr. Jorkin's party?

I can never remember How to find his place.

Thanks.

Could you confirm my lunch With Richard?

And could you find out From his assistant

If we're exchanging presents Today at lunch

Or if we're gonna wait Until tomorrow?

Thanks, bye-bye.

[ horn honks ]

%% Heedless of the wind And weather %%

%% Fa-la-la-la-la-la, La-la-la %%

[ "Jingle Bells" instrumental Music plays ]

Hey, how are you?

[ indistinct conversations ]

Hi.

Hey.

Sorry.

The car pool was late,

And then Derek couldn't Find his costume

For the Christmas pageant.

I don't know How you do it.

I don't know why I do it.

Sometimes, I swear, It's not worth it.

Oh, what do you mean?

This "having it all" stuff Is for the birds.

Oh, stop it. Come on, you got everything.

You got a wonderful home, A beautiful family,

And the partner track At your law firm.

I don't have time To sneeze.

I work 18 hours a day.

The kids are being raised By the nanny,

And when Phil and I get A rare moment alone,

We're like two batteries That can't take a charge.

[ chuckles ]

Here you go.

Thanks.

Thank you.

Ooh, love these!

How much?

Oh, I�m not saying.

Whoo-hoo, that much, huh?

Yeah, but I�m worth it.

A girl has to have her toys, I guess.

Oh, come on, now.

I've worked like a dog For everything I�ve got.

I think I deserve to pamper Myself every now and then.

I suppose.

Do you ever think About chucking it all

And doing something else?

Of course not.

No, I love my life.

Come on, Jane. What about a family?

With Richard?

[ scoffs ] You must be joking.

Oh, please.

He's not exactly father Material.

It doesn't have to be With Richard --

Somebody else -- anybody.

[ sighs ]

Honestly...I just -- I don't see it, Allison.

I mean, I love your kids more Than life itself, but...

I don't know. They're just not my thing.

You would make A great mother.

Oh, doubtful.

I don't really think I'm the maternal type.

Well, it's a shame.

I would love it If you would have kids.

Oh, misery Loves company, huh?

[ chuckles ] Yeah, something like that.

Oh, I gotta run. I'm due in court.

Interesting case?

Yeah, I�m defending a man Who thinks he's Santa Claus.

You're kidding?

Yeah, it's A seasonal joke.

Oh, all right. Ho, ho, ho, enough now.

It's a tax-evasion case -- Really exciting.

And for this, I�m missing My kids' childhood,

Including Derek�s Christmas pageant.

Well, I�ll see you Tomorrow?

I can't wait.

I will make us some Industrial-strength eggnog.

Oh, please.

Merry, merry -- Have a good day.

Hey, Renee, it's me again. Listen, you know what?

I'm not gonna make it in Before lunch.

Speaking of which, Where am I meeting Richard?

That figures.

Only he would pick sushi On Christmas eve.

No gifts -- okay.

Then I�ll get him something This afternoon.

All right, thanks. I'll see you later. Bye.

[ "joy to the world" Instrumental music plays ]

[ speaking indistinctly ]

That would be great. Hmm.

[ car alarm beeps ]

Hey, there.

Well, this is A nice surprise.

How are you, daddy?

What brings you here?

Merry Christmas.

I thought we were doing Gifts tomorrow.

Oh, I wasn't sure If you were gonna come.

Why wouldn't I?

Well, 'cause mom is gonna be There with Adam.

So?

So...that doesn't Bother you?

Of course not.

I enjoy meeting Your mother's boyfriends.

Oh, please, You can't be serious.

No, I am. It makes me grateful.

For what?

That I�m not them.

All right, now stop.

You promised you'd behave.

Scout's honor.

What's on the menu For tomorrow?

Ooh, coconut curried duck.

Here we are.

[ sighs ]

Not very crowded In here, huh?

I mean, Christmas and all.

This is a mob scene Compared to usual.

Are you okay -- Financially, I mean?

Don't you worry About your old dad.

It's like I always say.

I know.

Both: Make more or desire less.

I don't need much, and with What I�ve got, I�m happy.

You gonna open that?

Uh, should I wait?

No, come on, open it now.

Okay.

[ clears throat ]

This is gonna be A big surprise here.

Oh, hey, it's beautiful.

What is it?

[ chuckles ] It's a P.D.A.

What's that?

It's a little computer.

What does it do?

[ chuckles ] Come on, dad.

It's to hold all your Important information --

Your schedules, phone numbers, Memos -- you name it.

Huh.

You hate it.

No, I love it.

It's beautiful, but I already Have a little computer.

You do?

Yeah, it's called my brain.

Ah, you're terrible.

I'm horrible.

Have you got time For some tea?

Uh, no, I�m sorry. I gotta run.

Always running.

Oh, I�m meeting Richard For lunch.

How is peter pan?

Daddy.

I'm sorry. I didn't say that.

Go, run, I'll see you tomorrow.

[ smooches ]

[ indistinct conversations ]

Richard. How are you?

Good to see you.

You too. Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas. You look fabulous.

You, as well. Take care.

You too. Call me.

We had an agreement. I mean --

Hi, who was that?

Look, don't screw With me here.

What did you say?

Look, sweetheart, I don't need This kind of attitude.

Well, excuse me. I just --

I know.

I think we're both under A lot of pressure here,

And maybe we should table this Until after Christmas.

Right. Okay, okay.

Well, you take care, And I�ll talk to you then.

Have a good holiday And all that.

Okay. Bye.

Sorry.

[ smooches ]

No rest for the wicked.

The Germans?

Always the Germans. I feel like a babysitter.

[ chuckles ] Shall we?

No. Look, no can do.

You tell them that $2 million Is our final offer.

Bye.

Sorry.

I really hate fighting For your attention here.

Do you think we could shut That thing off

For the rest of lunch?

Honey, I�d love to, But I�m right in --

Well, hello.

Where have you been keeping Yourself?

I could ask you The same thing.

Jane, this is Jessica.

Jessica's with Dalton and derby,

The best bond trader I know.

[ chuckles ]

She's taken me to the Cleaner's more than once.

Hmm. I wish.

Hello.

You know, you and I are way Overdue to break bread.

Hmm.

We'll have lunch In the new year.

I'll call this afternoon And set something up.

I'll wait by the phone.

Okay. Bye.

[ sighs ]

Close personal friend?

No, I can't stand her. She's a killer.

Why did I have to run Into her?

Now I�m obligated to have Lunch with her.

If I don't call, Then it's bad --

All right. You know what, Richard?

Let's just talk About something else.

Like what?

I don't know.

Let's just not talk about Business for a while, okay?

Sure. Great.

What do you want To talk about?

I don't know.

The future.

[ scoffs ]

Us.

Our future is great.

What exactly is our future?

Well, it's great. It's terrific.

It's everything coming up roses And all that.

I mean, I don't have A crystal ball or anything,

But from where I�m standing, It's --

So, we're just gonna keep on Going as we are?

Of course. I mean, it's terrific.

I'm happy. You're happy.

I mean, why rock the boat?

[ sighs ] God forbid.

What? You're not happy?

I wouldn't exactly say I was unhappy, but --

Great. That's great.

You know, I am so glad We had this talk.

Listen, I hate to eat and run, But I�ve got a big meeting.

Do I have anything On my teeth?

No.

No calls right now.

Oh, well, merry Christmas To you, too.

I'm sorry -- bad morning. I hate Christmas.

It's a stressful time.

Today, Katie Couric did a report

On how Christmas is the most Stressful time of the year.

The suicide rate goes up.

I mean way up, Like triples or something.

There's a big relapse rate Among alcoholics and --

Renee, not helping.

Sorry. You want to look at these?

Sure.

This is probably a bad time To ask you this,

But do you mind if I take off Early tonight?

You got something Going on?

Yeah, I got people coming over For Christmas eve.

You're Jewish.

Oh, I like ritual, So sue me.

Besides, it's not fair

You goyim get Christmas All to yourselves.

Oh, sure. Take off whenever you need to.

I'm ready to call it A year anyhow.

Thanks.

Oh, wait. Before you go...

This is for you.

Oh.

Merry Christmas.

Whoo.

Happy Hanukkah or joyous Kwanzaa -- whatever.

Should I open it now?

Yeah, why not?

Oh, great.

Oh, great.

What? Oh, what -- You don't like it?

No, no, no, it's great. It's just that...

What?

Oh, no. Oh, no.

I gave you the same bag Last year.

Renee, I�m so, so sorry. I'm sorry.

I'll return it.

Oh, don't be silly. I'll return it.

I could get a whole new wardrobe In exchange for this.

You know me. I live to shop.

I feel like an idiot. I'm so sorry.

It's the thought That counts.

It really is.

Mm-hmm.

[ telephone rings ]

Jane Berry's office.

Oh, hi, Mrs. B.

She may have just Gone down the hall.

Let me check.

It's your mother.

Not now.

She says it's urgent.

Oh, please.

With my mother, It's always urgent.

[ sighs ]

Hi, mother. Merry Christmas.

Hello, sweetie. Merry, merry to you, too.

How's my little sugarplum?

Oh, just peachy keen.

I wanted to know what time we Should come over tomorrow.

We? So Adam is coming.

Of course, darling.

I'm not gonna leave him alone On Christmas.

Well, don't forget His high chair.

I'm going to pretend

I didn't hear that very, Very snide remark.

Look, I�m sorry, okay?

But you do realize that daddy's Gonna be there, right?

Fine. Fine.

I'll just have to rise To the occasion.

Look, no scenes, Please, okay?

I do not want a repeat Of last year.

My conduct last year Was unimpeachable.

I was not the one Who threw the wine goblet.

You were threatening him With a carving knife.

I may have been gesturing With a knife for emphasis,

But I would never...

Fine, whatever, okay?

I just want everybody to behave Like grown-ups for once,

All right?

Then you should be lecturing Your father, not me.

Ugh. Fine, mother. Just stop it, okay?

Look, we're gonna eat At 4:00, all right?

4:00-ish is perfect.

No, not 4:00-ish, 4:00, okay?

I am not gonna hold dinner again This year.

When have I ever been late?

Punctuality Is my middle name.

Great. Whatever you say.

Will Richard be joining us?

[ sighs ] Of course.

Do I hear wedding bells?

No, it must be the feedback From your hearing aid.

I don't know why you must be So unpleasant.

Is it wrong for a mother

To want to see her daughter Happily married?

Uh, look, You know what, mom?

Renee just put a note down In front of me.

I have an emergency.

I've gotta run down The hall, okay?

So I�ll see you tomorrow, All right?

Bye-bye.

[ sighs deeply ]

[ knock on door ]

I'm gonna get out of here now If that's all right.

Sure. Go ahead. Leave me in the lurch.

Go off to your exciting, Wonderful life.

Getting smashed on eggnog With four lonely gay guys

Is not exactly my definition

Of a wonderful, Exciting life.

Well, it sounds good to me.

You okay?

Oh, yeah, I�m fine.

I guess I�m just not feeling Very Christmassy this year.

You know what I recommend For that?

Heavy drinking.

Sound advice.

You know you're welcome to swing By my place later,

And there'll definitely be some Heavy drinking going on there.

Well, you know what? I would love to,

But I�m gonna wade Through some of this

Before I head out To Mr. Jorkin's party.

God, I wish I didn't have to go.

The price of success.

[ chuckles ]

Anyway, I want you to have The merriest of Christmases.

Aw. You too.

Thanks.

Bye, now.

Bye.

[ sighs ]

%% Have yourself a merry Little Christmas %%

%% Let your heart be light %%

%% From now on, our troubles Will be out of sight %%

%% Out of sight %%

%% Have yourself a merry Little Christmas %%

%% Make the yuletide gay %%

%% From now on, our troubles Will be miles... %%

Easy for you to say.

%% Here we are as in olden days, Happy golden days of yore %%

%% Faithful friends who are... %%

[ horn blares ]

Oh!

[ tires screech ]

%% ...once more %%

%% Through the years, we all Will be together %%

%% If the fates allow %%

%% Hang a shining star Upon the highest bough %%

%% Have yourself a merry Little Christmas now %%

[ music stops ]

Oh.

Are you all right?

Ohh, gosh, I don't know.

Ohh, ow. That's gonna leave a mark.

I heard the crash, And my heart stopped.

Could you just give me A hand?

I need to get out.

Take it easy.

Whoa. Ohh, my head.

Ohh.

Man.

Ohh.

Where -- where's my car?

It's right there.

No, no, no, That is not my car.

I-I drive a jaguar.

Dream on, teenage princess.

You've driven that old car For years.

W-w-wait a minute.

How would you even know What I drive?

I damn well better know What you drive.

We've been married For 10 years.

All right, excuse me. I just -- what?

Wait, what did you Just say?

That we've been married For 10 years.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, that -- What do you mean by that?

All right, Just wait a minute.

What -- you don't recognize Me, do you?

No, I don't.

I don't know who you are.

I have never seen. Okay, you're really scaring me.

I think we need to get you To a doctor.

No, no, I�m fine. I'm fine.

Jane!

Really, just -- What did you call me?

Jane -- that's your name.

I know my name. How do you know my name?

Lucky guess. I don't know.

I think You've got a concussion.

Something really weird Is going on here.

Yeah, you.

Just, what -- Where is my coat?

What -- what happened To my clothes?

Did you undress me?!

Oh, you've gotta Be kidding me!

Look, everything's Gonna be okay.

Just calm down.

Let's get in the house, And we'll call a doctor.

You know what? I just need to leave.

Please, I just want to make sure You're all right, okay?

This...

Come on. Watch your step.

Foot...it's okay.

Big step.

Okay, just come right Over here and sit down.

I will get an ice pack For your head.

Sit down. That's right.

You know what? I'm fine, really.

That's a nasty bruise. I'm gonna call dr. Atkinson

And see if she can come Take a look at you.

Truly, that's very considerate Of you,

But I gotta be going.

No, you are not going Anywhere.

What's going on?

There's been a little Accident -- car accident.

Oh, no.

You have kids. That's nice.

We have kids.

No, no, no.

What's with mommy?

Mommy? M--

Oh, okay, look, You know what?

This is just really Too weird, okay?

All right?

Let me state this

Once uncategorically And for the record,

This is not funny, All right?

Joke is over.

I am not married to you, and I certainly don't have kids,

So I�m just gonna be going.

Mommy, you're scaring me.

You're freaking them out. Will you just calm down?

I'm freaking them out? How do you think I feel?

You're in shock.

I'm not in shock!

I'm completely in control Of all of my senses.

I'm just leaving.

Leaving on Christmas eve?

Are you two getting divorced?

No, no, no one's Getting divorced.

Your mom's just upset. She's not herself.

Troy, go in the kitchen. Call dr. Atkinson.

Tell her mom's Had an accident.

Okay.

Don't leave! It's Christmas!

You can't leave!

Okay, okay, this is -- All right. All right.

I don't know what's going On here, okay?

And I certainly don't want To ruin anyone's Christmas,

But I just -- I don't know you people.

Honey.

I just -- really, I think

We should wish each other A nice merry Christmas

And be going Our separate ways.

You're not okay To go anywhere.

Now, just let the doctor Take a look at you,

And then we'll regroup.

[ sighs ] Good.

Did you get her?

She's on her way.

Good.

Just let the doctor Take a look at you.

Look to the left.

Now look up.

It's fine. I can't see anything.

There's clearly No nerve damage

Because your pupils Aren't even dilated.

And there's no indication that You've even had a concussion.

Hmm.

Well, then how --

Sam, let me talk to you.

You rest easy now.

Mom, are you going nuts?

Maybe.

Probably.

I am not your mother.

Yes, you are! I know my own mother.

What's it like to go nuts?

Do you hear voices?

Sure.

That's so cool.

And she didn't recognize Anything, not even the kids?

No. It's like she dropped In from outer space.

So, if you go really crazy,

Maybe you'll start To see people!

Cool!

Who aren't even there!

It's already happening.

Oh, my god.

Uh, you know what?

I, um, um, mommy has To make a phone call.

To an imaginary person.

No, no, to a very real person, But it's kind of private,

So could you leave me alone For a minute?

Okay.

Okay.

Do you want me To shut the door?

That would be great. Thank you.

Bye, mommy.

Hello, Mr. Jorkins.

Hi. It's Jane Berry.

Merry Christmas.

I'm so sorry I'm late to your party.

I had a little accident.

No, uh, no, I�m fine.

I should be there soon, Actually.

Jane.

Jane Berry, vice president Of advertising.

You have a vague recollection Of me?

That's nice.

Well, no, no, of course I Realize it's a private party.

Hello? Mr. J--?

[ dial tone ]

[ sighs ]

Would you like Some more coffee?

No, thank you, Sam.

So, what's your explanation For all of this?

I've heard of things Like this before,

But I�ve never seen it.

It's sort of A situational amnesia

Brought on by trauma Or shock.

It's usually short-lived

And disappears as quickly As it came on.

Any idea when?

Oh, there's no way Of knowing --

Maybe tonight or it could be A couple of weeks.

I wish I could tell you.

Now, I can admit her To the hospital tonight

If it'll make you feel Better.

On Christmas eve?

Oh, I know. I know.

It's not the best time Imaginable,

And I honestly don't think It'll help.

Well, it might disorient her Even more.

Chances are what she really Needs is a good night's sleep.

Great.

[ groans ]

What was that?

Mommy!

Jane!

Mommy!

Jane!

Jane!

Mommy, don't go! Mommy, don't go!

Mommy, don't go!

Heather and troy. Come here, kids.

Jane! Jane!

[ doorbell buzzes ]

Who is it?

It's Jane.

[ door buzzes ]

Jane!

Oh, what a nice surprise!

Come in. Come in. I can't believe you came by.

Everybody, this is Jane.

Jane's the great boss I told you about.

Jane, this is Wally, Donnie, Bill, and Albert --

Also known as the four horsemen Of the apocalypse.

I'm pestilence.

Merry Christmas.

Oh, thank you.

Gosh, I hope I'm not intruding.

Oh, are you kidding? I'm delighted.

Wow, I love your hair.

Did you get that done This afternoon?

No, no, no, I�ve had it Like this for a while now.

Huh? Oh, no, well, it's great.

So, what are you watching?

Oh, well, I wanted to watch "white Christmas,"

But the boys wanted to watch "Easter parade."

Judy is a woman For all seasons.

Can't go wrong with Judy.

So we compromised On "sunset boulevard."

Oh.

Quiet. This is the best part.

Oh, as if you haven't seen This 100 times.

Wait a minute, Haven't I seen you before?

I know your face.

Get out or shall I call My servant?

You're Norma Desmond.

You used to be In silent pictures.

You used to be big.

I am big.

It's the pictures That got small.

[ laughter ]

Encore?

Encore.

[ sighs ]

So come, sit. Tell me how you've been.

How are Sam and the kids?

W-what did you say?

How are Sam and the kids?

How did you know About them?

Well, it's not exactly A secret.

It's the pic--

Oh, come on.

Renee, look, you -- I mean, you know me.

You know I don't have a family.

Are you getting divorced?

What?

No, I�m not getting A divorce!

I'm not even -- I'm not married!

Okay, Jane.

Jane, you're freakin' me out A little here.

All right. Okay.

Okay, you know, it's just -- It's been a long day.

I'm a little confused.

I need to work things out.

Okay.

So, how long have You not had a family?

Could we just ignore -- I have no family!

Can we just stop talking About the family

That I do not have?

Okay, fine. Whatever. No family. Got it.

Okay, honey. Sure.

[ wind whistling ]

[ doorbell rings ]

Hi.

Jane.

Can I come in?

Wow, this is a -- This is a surprise.

Can I come in?

It's not really A good time, you know?

I mean, Christmas eve and all.

Honey, who is it?

Oh...I see.

It's not a good time, huh? Yeah.

All right, well, I get it. I get it.

Otherwise engaged, are you? Uh-huh.

Oh, my god.

Jessica, this is Jane.

I think the two of you may Have met in the past.

The past?

Yeah, how about this afternoon At sushi noku?

Wow!

You don't waste any time, Do you?

Excuse me?

Listen, Jane, it's -- it's -- It's really nice to see you,

But this is kind of awkward.

I'd love to get Together sometime.

It's just that now it's, You know,

It's not really a good time.

So, that's it? We spend two years together,

And you just dump me On Christmas eve?

[ laughs ] what are you Talking about?

I haven't seen you, Jane, In almost...10 years.

10 years?

Yeah, ever since you left me For that guy.

What was his name?

Sam.

Yeah, yeah, that was it. Sam.

Uh...so he's real. He exists.

For your sake, I certainly hope so

'Cause I�d hate to think That you left me

For some figment Of your imagination.

No, no, Sam is real. I...

My kids are real, too, I guess.

It's all real.

It's great to see you, Jane.

We'll do lunch sometime, Huh?

Oh, yeah.

Soon.

[ sighs ]

Can I help you?

You live here, right?

Yeah. I hope so.

Just checking.

Merry Christmas.

[ sighs ]

Jane.

Hey.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Let's just hang on a sec Here.

Uh, hey, look, I don't know What's going on here.

I started out this evening a Single woman driving a jaguar,

And somehow I turned into This wife and mother

Driving a terminally ill Station wagon.

None of this makes Any sense to me.

You know, I�m willing To concede

That I have lost my mind,

But you have to believe me When I tell you

That I don't know you.

I've never seen you before In my life.

I-I believe you.

You seem like A really nice guy,

Which is good

Because, you know, Apparently, we're married.

Apparently. [ chuckles ]

I wouldn't even be here, You know,

Except that I don't know Where else to go.

Even my driver's license Says I live here.

So no matter what I may think, This seems to be my life.

It's a wonderful life.

Is that a joke?

A little seasonal humor.

It's very good.

Thank you.

So, what do you think We should do?

You could start By coming in.

You think?

Absolutely.

No funny stuff.

Mnh-mnh. I grow on people.

Troy: hi, dad.

Did Santa come yet?

Not yet, troy. Go back to sleep.

[ sighs ]

Mom, are you still nuts?

Completely.

That's okay. I don't care.

I'm just glad you're home.

I was worried.

Time for bed, champ.

I know. Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas.

So, what do you want To do?

Uh, I don't know. This is kind of awkward.

I think if it's All the same to you,

I'll just sleep down here On the couch.

Don't be silly. I'll sleep out here.

You sure?

No big deal.

I have to put together Heather's new dollhouse anyhow.

Oh, I could help you.

No, it's okay. I'll get it.

No, really, I�d love to.

When I was heather's age, I used to love Barbies.

Where is it?

It's right where we hid it.

Oh, wow.

[ laughing ]

That's great.

Oh, man, this is gonna be A major operation.

Where's the glue?

[ laughs ] glue. You don't need glue.

It all just fits together.

Perfectly.

Like you and me.

You have to stop saying Things like that.

Well, I told ya, I grow on people.

[ laughs ]

All right, I don't know what Any of this stuff is for.

Okay, I want the china. This is the chinaware.

Oh, well, like I know. It's a Barbie house.

You can make the bed.

[ sighs ]

Need anything?

Uh...a toothbrush Would be nice.

Toothbrushes are in the holder Above the sink.

Mine's green, Yours is purple.

Did you say purple?

It's just -- I mean,

'Cause I always get A purple toothbrush,

I mean, from before.

I know. Purple's your lucky color.

Well, I guess some things Never change.

I guess not.

Uh...sleep well.

Good night.

Time to wake up!

Wake up! It's Christmas!

Mommy, wake up. It's Christmas!

Mommy, wake up!

Aaaaaaaahhh!

[ breathlessly ] Okay, okay.

Mom, cool it.

I guess she's still crazy.

What's wrong?

Mom's still spazzed out.

Oh, this is my life?

Jane, just calm down.

This makes no sense.

This makes no sense. This is my life.

Is she gonna be like this All day?

I can't breathe.

Are you gonna slap her?

No, of course not.

That's what they do In the movies.

Well, this isn't a movie.

I have completely Lost my mind.

It's okay.

Troy, get your mother A glass of water.

All right. Just breathe, Jane.

Breathe. That -- that's right.

Calm down.

[ water running ]

I'm good. Okay.

I'm calming.

Ohh.

Thanks.

I needed that.

[ laughing ]

Okay.

This is the best Christmas. A dollhouse and skates!

Can we go skating later?

If we have time, honey.

Cool!

A world war ii guy On a motorcycle.

It's Steve McQueen.

Who's Steve McQueen?

Well, he's the...

Never mind.

Do you like it?

It's awesome!

Thanks, dad!

Thanks, mom.

It's time to go sleep Now, Lisa.

Wow.

Oh, wow.

This is incredible.

That's great. Who gave you that?

You did.

Oh...well. I always did have good taste.

[ laughs ]

You gonna open Your presents?

[ sighs ] I don't know.

You know, I feel kind of Strange.

Well, don't be silly. They're yours.

Maybe they'll jog Your memory.

Won't hold my breath.

Vroom, vroom.

Oh, wow! Oh, Ella Fitzgerald.

Oh, I love Ella Fitzgerald.

God. How did you...

Yeah, thank you.

You're welcome.

Hey, how 'bout some "jingle bells"?

Yeah!

Gather 'round.

Okay. You ready?

Yeah.

%% Dashing through the snow %%

%% In a one-horse, open sleigh %%

%% O'er the fields we go %%

%% Laughing all the way %%

%% Ha! Ha! Ha! %%

%% Bells on bobtails ring %%

%% Making spirits bright %%

%% What fun it is To ride and sing %%

%% A sleighing song tonight %%

%% Oh, jingle bells, Jingle bells %%

%% Jingle all the way %%

%% Oh, what fun it is to ride %%

%% In a one-horse, open sleigh %%

%% Hey %%

[ doorbell rings ] I'll get it.

Heather: I'm right behind ya!

Merry Christmas!

Allison: hi, guys. How are you doing?

Merry, merry!

Oh, I love the skates!

Thanks, happy Christmas.

Sam: hi, Allison. Hey, kids.

Hey! A little Christmas cheer.

Who's ready to get sloshed? [ laughs ]

Come on, We'll play in my room.

Allison.

Hi, sweetie. Hey, handsome.

Merry Christmas, everyone.

Merry Christmas. Where's Phil?

Oh, he came down with a fever Last night,

And he didn't want to Infect anyone.

Poor guy. What a drag.

Yeah, I think he's thankful For the peace and quiet.

The kids gave him An instructional golf video,

And that's what he was watching When we left, so...

Can I talk to you For a minute?

Yeah. What happened?

She was drag racing And a lamp post attacked her.

[ gasps ] poor baby. Are you okay?

Yeah.

We really need to talk. Follow me.

Okay.

So let me get this straight.

You don't remember getting Married or having kids.

Nope.

None of it?

Nope.

Whew. That's a biggie.

What is the last thing That you remember

Before all of this happened?

[ sighs ] leaving Marley And Jorkins yesterday

And driving to Mr. Jorkins' Christmas party.

Oh, honey, you have not worked At Marley and Jorkins

In at least 10 years.

So everyone keeps telling me.

Well, I can see why You're so freaked out.

Look, none of this makes Sense, you know?

I'm sure that Sam and the kids Are lovely,

But, you know, I just -- I Really -- I want my life back.

Well, that's the problem

Because there's no way to get There from here.

[ sighs ] you think I�ve lost My mind, don't you?

Mmm...no.

I think you've been through A very traumatic experience,

And everything's gonna come back To you really soon.

What are you doing To that stuffing?

Adding ketchup.

Of course.

So you really -- you really Think that all of this

Is just gonna come Flooding back?

This new life.

Of course.

Although there Are worse things

Than waking up and discovering You're married to Sam Keller.

If that happened to me,

I'd think I would have died And gone to heaven.

So...you think I�ve done okay In this new life

That I completely Don't recognize?

[ chuckles ] honey, You won the lottery.

You two okay in here?

We're fine. A little confused but fine.

So you know About our little dilemma?

What do you think?

Well, I try to look On the bright side.

At least this breaks up Your normal routine.

[ scoffs ] no kidding.

Makes everything new again.

Well, I guess you could look At it that way.

It's sort of complicated.

Yeah, but you guys get to fall In love all over again.

Well, uh... We need to get ready.

For what?

Church.

[ chuckles ] church?

Oh, man, I haven't been To church in years.

Well, you have to go.

You're president Of the altar guild.

I'm what?

You're the pillar Of the community.

You're kidding me.

Come on, I�ve never been The pillar of anything.

Well, you are now.

And the altar guild is serving Christmas lunch to the homeless,

And you're in charge.

No way.

Yes way.

Can't you just call them And tell them I�m sick

Or -- or that I've lost my mind?

Look, I�m freaked out enough As it is here.

The last thing I want to do Is spend Christmas

With a bunch Of homeless people.

That's what I do.

What?

[ sighs ] I work With homeless people.

Sam is director of a drug and Alcohol center on skid row.

[ sighs ]

I'm sorry, Sam. I just -- I didn't know.

It's all right.

How could you know? I guess.

If it makes you too Uncomfortable,

You should stay here.

I don't want to drag you.

I just thought it would be nice For Christmas

To give something back.

Yeah, sure, you know. Of course...

Of course I�ll go.

I mean, you know, Especially if I�m in charge.

Great.

Look, you're gonna have to Help me through this.

Don't I always?

I don't know. Do you?

I know. Silly question.

[ chuckles ]

[ sighs ]

Church? Homeless?

I haven't done charity work My whole life!

Listen, my darling girl,

When you come out of this fog That you're in,

You are going to be so pleased

With the person That you have become.

Race you.

Okay.

Come on, mom!

Hi.

I'm gonna need Some extra hands, okay?

Oh, no, no. No, I can't do this.

Yes, you can.

Oh, Sam, I don't know. What do I do?

It's real simple.

You just take the food From the bowls,

You put it on plates, And you hand it to people.

Think you can handle that?

Yes, I guess I can do that.

Where did all this food Come from anyway?

What is this, deli?

No, you cooked it.

I don't cook.

You're a great cook, Mommy,

Especially your macaroni And cheese.

It's from a package, Mutant.

It's still great.

Come on.

I don't know any Of the other volunteers.

I don't know what to do. I don't know what to say.

"merry Christmas" Would be nice.

Oh, Sam. I'm a fraud, okay?

I am not who these people Think I am.

They don't know that you dropped In from another planet.

So if you don't tell them, I won't.

It will be Our little secret.

? God rest ye, merry gentlemen ?

? Let nothing you dismay ?

? Remember Christ our savior ?

? Was born on Christmas day ?

? To save us all From satan's power ?

? When we were gone astray ?

? Oh, tidings of comfort And joy ?

? Comfort and joy ?

? Oh, tidings of comfort And joy ?

? From god our heavenly father ?

? A blessed angel came ?

? And unto certain shepherds ?

? Brought tidings of the same ?

Merry Christmas.

? How that in Bethlehem Was born ?

? The son of god by name ?

? Oh, tidings of comfort And joy ?

? Comfort and joy ?

? Oh, tidings of comfort And joy ?

Where do you want These turnips?

Oh, down there by the yams. Thanks.

I'll see you later.

You know, we could use Some more plates.

We've got more coming.

Who's the guy That's washing the plates?

Joe.

Thanks, Joe.

No problem.

Now, this isn't so bad, Is it?

No.

You've got a knack For this sort of thing.

[ laughing ] Ooh...fresh.

There's a guy out there Who's not eating.

That's Nate.

Well, is he hungry?

I don't think he's strong enough To serve himself.

Poor guy's dying Of emphysema.

I see him down At the center a lot.

I'll take him a plate.

It's okay, dad. I'll do it.

Hey, be my guest.

Thanks.

Sure.

Want some lunch, Mr. Nelson?

[ raspy voice ] I'd love some.

Here you go.

M-maybe I should cut it For you.

Mmm, thank you.

Did you see that?

Yep.

What an amazing kid.

He's your son.

Oh, damn this thing.

I think it needs New spark plugs.

You know, really, you should Just get a new car

'Cause this one is --

[ chuckles ] We can't afford it.

Don't be silly, please.

I have a lot of money Saved up.

Well, maybe you had a fortune In parallel universe land,

But here on earth, You're broke.

No wonder I have Such a dumpy wardrobe.

You don't have A dumpy wardrobe.

It's simple and nice.

[ Christmas music plays ]

I can't believe I�m having this Conversation with you,

Of all people.

There's more to life, Jane,

Than money and flashy cars And expensive clothes.

So, that's it?

You're just content To be broke?

This is what I chose.

No, I�m just [sighs] -- You don't want more?

Of course I want more. It's human nature.

But I don't need it.

Everything I need, I have right here.

Like grandpa says "make more, Desire less."

You've heard him say that?

All the time.

He's like a broken record.

[ grunts ]

Come on, you can't have a Conversation with the guy

Without him saying that.

This is true.

As much as I could do without Your dad's platitudes,

I gotta admit, He has a point.

Mommy, you can do it. Come on, come on.

Wow!

Okay. One step at a time.

Okay.

You're stepping on my foot.

Be careful.

We got you.

All right. All right.

Okay. Oh, no. Wait.

All right, don't let go.

%% Aah, shing-a-ling-a-ling %%

%% Aah, shing-a-ling-a-ling %%

%% Aah, shing-a-ling-a-ling %%

%% Aahhhhhh %%

%% Jingle bells, Jingle bells %%

%% Jingle all the way %%

%% Oh, what fun it is to ride %%

%% In a one-horse, open sleigh %%

%% Hey %%

%% Jingle bells, jingle bells %%

%% Jingle all the way %%

%% Oh, what fun it is to ride %%

%% In a one-horse, open sleigh %%

%% Dashing through the snow %%

%% In a one-horse, open sleigh %%

%% Over fields we go %%

%% Laughing all the way %%

%% Bells on bobtails ring %%

%% Making spirits bright %%

%% What fun it is To ride and sing %%

%% A sleighing song tonight %%

%% Oh, jingle bells, Jingle bells %%

%% Jingle all the way %%

%% Oh, what fun it is to ride %%

%% In a one-horse, open sleigh %%

%% Hey %%

%% Jingle bells, jingle bells %%

%% Jingle all the way %%

%% Oh, what fun it is to ride %%

%% In a one-horse, open sleigh %%

%% Aah, shing-a-ling-a-ling %%

%% Aah %%

No, no...aah!

Ow.

Ohh.

I'll pick you up.

Whoa!

[ laughing ]

Let me help you up.

Dad!

? Aah, shing-a-ling-a-ling ?

? Aah, shing-a-ling-a-ling ?

? Aah, shing-a-ling-a-ling ?

? Aaaaahhh ?

? Jingle bells, jingle bells ?

? Jingle all the way ?

? Oh, what fun it is to ride ?

? In a one-horse, open sleigh ?

? Hey ?

? Jingle bells, jingle bells ?

? Jingle all the way ?

? Oh, what fun it is to ride ?

? In a one-horse, open sleigh ?

? Shing-a-ling-a-ling ?

? Shing-a-ling-a-ling ?

? Shing-a-ling-a-ling ?

? Shing-a-ling-a-ling ?

? Aah ?

You take those.

? Dashing through the snow ?

? In a one-horse, open sleigh ?

? Over fields we go ?

? Laughing all the way ?

Here, mommy. Let me show you how.

Hmm.

Good job.

Thank you.

So, tell me something.

Sure, what?

How long have we known Each other?

10 years.

10 years ago yesterday, As a matter of fact.

You're kidding. We met on Christmas eve?

Yeah, pretty romantic, huh?

Well, I�ll have to take Your word for it.

So...was it love At first sight?

You sure seemed To think so.

You said that You always loved me.

I said that?

Yeah, your exact words In our first conversation.

Uh, it was one hell Of an icebreaker.

Wow, that doesn't, uh, That doesn't sound like me.

I must have been smitten.

Well, I�d like to think it was With good reason.

[ laughs ] Well, what about you?

Were you smitten?

You were pretty cute.

But was it love At first sight?

And ever since.

I should really go check On the turkey.

The turkey's fine, Jane.

Don't you find all of this Really strange?

It's not exactly how I wanted To spend Christmas this year,

But I�m adjusting.

It's just -- it doesn't Make any sense to me

That I would be leading This life.

Well, you are. You just don't remember it yet.

What if I never remember it?

We'll cross that bridge if And when we get to it.

[ doorbell rings ]

And that would be your father. Early, as always.

No, no, wait, wait.

Okay, no, look, I can't -- I can't do this, all right?

Please, it's bad enough That I�ve lost my mind.

I really don't want to deal With my parents as well.

You can handle this. It's just your folks.

Hey, wait up for me!

Who is it?

Merry Christmas!

Kids: oh, grandpa!

Look, can I ask you a favor?

Sure, what?

Can we just not tell my parents Anything that's going on?

Really?

Was Santa good to you?

The best.

I got a new dollhouse And dollies.

Wow.

I got a model Of Steve McQueen.

And we all got skates.

Let's just get through The evening, okay?

They already think I�m nuts.

I really don't want to add fuel To the fire.

Please!

Let's just pretend That this is my life.

It will be easier, Trust me.

If you're sure...

Okay.

George: huh? How about that?

How are ya?

Great.

Merry Christmas, old-timer.

That's right. Mock your elders.

So, uh, honey, uh...

Hey, what is that --

What have you done With your head?

Oh, well, you know, It's a long story.

I got all night.

She crashed her car And went nuts.

You crashed your car? I'd go nuts, too.

Are you okay?

No, like, "crazy" nuts.

She doesn't even know Who we are.

What are they talking about?

[ chuckles ] They're just being funny.

You know, a little Christmas mischief.

I'm not trying to be funny.

Neither am I.

Okay. Why don't we, uh, Go check on the turkey?

And we'll get grandpa A drink. Scotch?

You got my number, Sam.

Coming right up.

Why don't you kids...

What was all that about?

Oh, the kids? Oh, who knows?

They're just joking around, I guess.

Come on.

All right, if you say so.

What time's dinner? I could eat a horse.

Soon, dad.

I've been fasting all day,

Saving up for Your special turkey.

[ laughs ] yeah, Well, I didn't make...

Uh, my special turkey, Of course.

Yum.

How do you season it, By the way?

I've always meant to ask.

It's a secret.

From your father?

Yep.

[ chuckles ] Whatever you do,

It's a vast improvement Over how you used to cook.

What does that mean?

Don't be mad, but...you're A wonderful cook now.

But, uh, the Christmas dinners You used to make -- pre-Sam...

Well, they were a challenge, To put it kindly.

Well, that's a terrible thing To say.

Terrible but true.

Your cooking And everything about you

Changed for the better About the time you met Sam.

So, why didn't you Ever tell me

That my cooking Was so horrible?

Honey, you're my daughter, And I love you.

I would have eaten dog food If you'd given it to me.

[ scoffs ]

Sometimes dog food would have Been preferable.

Well, great.

Okay, so, this is just the "new And improved" Jane.

Remember the duck You cooked?

[ laughing ] [ laughing ]

In the exploding Serving dish.

Uh-huh.

We were picking glass shards Out of that damn thing

All night.

Yeah, that was -- That was terrible.

Oh, all this talk about food Is making me even hungrier.

Let's eat.

Well, we have to wait For mother.

Oh, I�m sure she'll be sailing In on her broomstick

Any moment now.

Daddy.

[ doorbell rings ]

Speak of the devil.

Now, you promised Your best behavior.

No scenes.

I'm always On my best behavior.

[ laughing ] Yeah.

Oh, darling, I'm so sorry I�m late.

Hello, mother.

I hope I didn't keep Everyone waiting!

No more than usual.

Don't start with me.

You wouldn't believe The traffic.

I thought people were supposed To stay home on Christmas.

All these dreadful people Out on the road...

Don't worry about it, Mother.

Dinner's not quite Ready yet.

Oh, good.

You know what a nut I am About punctuality.

I just hate to keep people Waiting.

It's like a religion With me.

It's fine, mother. Where is, uh, where's Adam?

Adam?

What are you talking about?

I haven't seen him in ages.

She traded him in For a better model.

You are so crass.

I don't know why I even talk to you.

My natural charm, I guess.

Ahh! Some holiday cheer And not a moment too soon.

Merry Christmas, Frederica.

And the same to you, Sam.

Do you want a drink?

[ gasps ] well, you know, I hardly ever, ever indulge,

But it is Christmas.

What do you want?

A double martini, Stirred not shaken,

With a lemon twist... No olive.

And if you're smart, Sam, You'll make that a single.

What's that supposed To mean?

That you'd be better off If you paced yourself,

For a change.

You're a fine one to talk.

You swill down scotch Like it's water.

I don't swill.

[ laughing ] I will not have You, of all people,

Lecturing me About my drinking.

You know what? Will you two just stop it?

Please?

You know, I swear, Some things never change.

What do you mean by that?

[ sighs ] nothing.

I just, uh...nothing.

Never mind.

So, how did your speech

At the mentor program Christmas luncheon go?

My speech?

Yeah, what did you say?

Ohh. Um, well, you know, nothing.

It really -- It wasn't that interesting.

Nonsense. I'm sure it was fabulous.

What did you talk about?

Well, really, it's sort of... Confidential.

Your speech?

Made at a public luncheon?

A speech that was covered By the newspapers?

Well, we don't really expect

That anyone will read The articles.

Well, that's very strange. [ laughs ]

I mean, I thought the whole Idea of the luncheon

Was to raise the profile Of the organization.

It was. I-I-it is.

It's just we wanted to do it In secret.

Jane...is the mentor program

Some kind of... Clandestine organization?

No!

[ laughing ] No, of course not!

No, we want people to know about It, just, you know, not...now.

Well, guess who dropped in To the store two days ago?

Who?

Laurie Adler.

Who's Laurie Adler?

Oh, come on, you know. Laurie.

And I know her how?

Darling, are you all right?

[ laughing ] I'm fine. I'm fine.

I'm just having a little trouble Recalling who Laurie Adler is.

Your old friend.

The woman that you ran The Boston marathon with.

Oh!

See, now that Laurie Adler.

I-I was thinking of another Laurie Adler...

That I ran another marathon With.

She knows Two Laurie Adlers.

I don't think I knew that.

When did you run Another marathon

With this other Laurie Adler?

I really don't remem-- Recently.

Really, It was a long time ago.

I don't like To talk about it.

It's a painful memory.

Do these two women Know each other?

Yes. No.

Not well. They've met.

I try to keep them Separate.

Why, in god's name?

Well, the "other" Laurie Adler...

Stole the "friend" Laurie Adler�s last name.

Her real name is smith.

Hmm.

Why would she do a thing Like that?

I don't know.

It's just a very tense Situation, you know?

We don't talk about it.

It's why I keep them separate.

Are you sure you're okay?

Couldn't be better.

[ chuckles ]

Yeah.

Your libation, madam.

Thank you.

Ohh! A masterpiece.

I must say, you do know your way Around a martini, Sam.

And you would certainly know.

I'm warning you -- Don't start.

Did I say something?

You are the most Insufferable man.

I'm just gonna pretend You're not even here.

Is that a promise?

You know what? Please, all right?

Please, will you stop?

God, you're worse now than When you were married.

What are you talking about?

We are married.

What did you say?

We are married.

We were remarried Five years ago.

Yeah.

My parents got remarried?

I'm sorry.

I just keep thinking you know Stuff like that.

Well, I don't. I I I don't know anything.

Is she drunk?

I think she must have had A concussion.

Did you see that bruise On her head?

I saw it. I didn't want to say anything.

What happened?

Her car crashed yesterday.

Oh. Oh, my goodness.

Well, clearly she's in shock.

I've never seen her Like this.

And that bruise Does look nasty.

I have a good man for that.

Frederica, she doesn't need Cosmetic surgery.

Why would you assume I�m Referring to cosmetic surgery?

I know nothing About cosmetic surgery.

Troy: hi, grandma.

Just please calm down. It'll be okay.

It'll all come back.

I don't know if I want it To come back.

You know, what kind of life Is this anyway?

I have no job, no money, No past, nothing.

You have a family That loves you.

And you're strangers to me.

I don't even know you.

What kind of life Is that for you?

Better than life Without you.

Um, grandma wants another Martini...a double.

Both: tell her dinner's ready.

Okay.

Grandma, dinner's ready.

[ sighs ]

Some Christmas, huh?

[ chuckles ]

Life with you Is never dull.

[ whirring ]

Mommy and me Made the beans.

Some for you.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

Like to say grace, Jane?

Why would I do that?

You always say grace.

[ sighs ]

Of course I do.

I knew that.

Uh, okay.

God, uh, well, I�m not quite Sure how to thank you

For all the blessings that You've given me and my family.

Uh, it's been An interesting Christmas.

[ chuckles ] full of surprises.

Wow...

Really not how I thought I'd be spending Christmas.

Actually, nothing like

How I thought I�d be Spending Christmas.

It's -- um, But you're the boss, right?

You're in charge.

I'm really grateful, Uh, for...thy bounty,

Uh, and thy goodness...

For thy...bigness.

For thy leading us not Into our trespassers

Who lives and reign with The holy spirit.

Forgive us now and in the hour Of our need.

For thine is the kingdom

And the power and the glory Forever and ever.

With liberty And justice for all.

Amen. Amen. Amen.

Amen.

That was an unusual prayer.

I thought it was nice, mom.

Thank you, honey.

This stuffing Is interesting.

What did you season it With?

Ketchup.

Interesting.

Hmm.

I think it's great, Jane.

Thank you, Sam.

Jane, your father told me About your accident.

Are you sure You're quite yourself?

Hmm. Why would you ask that?

Well, you just seemed A little off.

Off?

You know -- behaving Erratically.

You know, like the old Jane.

You know, what exactly was Wrong with the old Jane?

I happen to like The old Jane.

So did I.

It's just that everybody, Me included,

And you too, I hope, seem To like the new Jane better.

Huh.

Uh, Sam, could I see you In the kitchen for a moment?

What for?

We need to discuss the... Turkey.

The turkey's on the table.

It's a little dry.

I'm concerned about The leftovers.

Can't we talk about it Later?

We really need to talk About it now, Sam.

She worries About the leftovers.

It's a real thing with her.

Sam, I really need you now.

Excuse me.

What is going on with her?

I told you. She's gone nuts.

How dare you call your Mother nuts!

Troy's right.

She doesn't remember Who we are.

She's still funny And nice, though.

Now I�m completely lost.

Hmm.

Ketchup?

Once upon a time, I could handle things.

I could remember the past -- My past.

I knew what kind of car I drove.

I knew my friend's name.

I could remember a speech I'd given.

Now, I can't remember Anything.

Do you remember yesterday?

Yes.

Good. Well, that's a start.

We can build on that.

Now, let's just get Through dinner,

And then we'll send your Parents off into the night

To make each other miserable.

Do you promise?

I promise.

Come on.

Well, we have determined

That the turkey will be just Fine for the leftovers.

We're all very relieved, I'm sure.

Are you two fighting?

No, George, Everything's fine.

Sorry, I don't mean to pry.

Well, I do.

Jane...what's all this

About your not remembering Your own children?

[ laughs ] what are you Talking about?

They said you didn't know Who they were.

Jane...darling, are you Suffering memory loss?

Are you having Some strange episode?

[ sighs ] look, mother,

I just really haven't been Myself the last couple of days.

Apparently not. Your father's right.

You're acting Like the old Jane.

Just what is that supposed To mean?

Emotional...erratic.

Oh, as if you are some model Of emotional stability?

That's exactly the kind of thing The old Jane would say.

There is no new Jane! Okay?

I am the old Jane.

And you know what? I like her.

She had a-a life. She was successful.

She had a great job.

Which you foolishly quit.

Frederica, You're not helping.

You hated that job.

It doesn't matter! At least I knew who I was.

Now I wake up to find I'm some weird combination

Of -- of Betty Crocker And Mother Teresa.

It's just not me!

If this is about resuming Your career,

I say it's high time!

It's a shame to see you keep Wasting your talents.

Frederica...

I've never understood

Why you and Sam have felt Personally responsible

For saving the world.

Well, somebody has to.

That's all well and fine,

But does it mean that you And the children

Have to live like paupers?

Frederica...

I have no problem With saving the whales,

But to throw away everything You had

For these fuzzy Little ideals --

Frederica, will you shut up?

Excuse me? What did you say to me?

I said to shut up!

Well, I never.

No, you probably haven't.

If you'd listen to your Daughter,

You'd know that This has nothing to do

With her job or her career.

You know, when she was young And successful,

You used to badger her to find The right man and settle down.

Now, I don't know If I�m the right man,

But when we married and started A family -- a great family --

You told her she was Wasting her life.

Don't you see? She can't win with you.

That's not true!

Jane has had some problems,

And she needs to work Through them.

But what she doesn't need Is you passing judgment.

Either old Jane or new Jane --

To me, they're the same person, And I love them both.

So with all due respect, My darling mother-in-law,

I suggest we just drop The whole thing

And finish our dinner.

Or...I could just leave Right now.

That would be fine, too.

I have never been treated So rudely in my entire life.

There's a first time For everything.

Come on, George. We're leaving.

Bye, grandma.

Nice Christmas.

But I�m still eating.

Get a doggie bag!

[ door opens ]

I guess we'll be going.

Merry Christmas, Everybody.

Goodbye, kids.

Bye, grandpa.

One thing you can say About our family --

Our Christmases Are never dull.

Daddy, you don't have to leave. Neither does mother.

Well, I think It's time we get going.

Call it a hunch.

I hope she isn't too angry.

Ah, don't worry. She'll be fine.

This kind of thing keeps Her blood pumping.

It's good for her.

Well, merry Christmas, Sweetie.

[ smooches ]

Merry Christmas.

[ door opens, closes ]

Uh...you kids finish eating.

I'll be right back.

Want to make a wish?

Sure.

Temperature's dropping.

Feels like It might snow again.

You told my mother To shut up.

Yeah, I guess I did.

Probably not My finest moment.

No, I thought it was great.

I've been wanting to do That my whole life.

[ chuckles ]

No one has ever stood up For me before like that.

Well, I was happy to oblige.

It's the least I could do.

Did you mean What you said in there?

Telling your mom to shut up? Of course I did.

About loving the new Jane As well as the old Jane.

With all my heart.

Even the Jane that can't Remember our life together?

All of the above.

Sam.

Hmm.

Oh, I just feel Kind of dizzy.

Yeah, I have that effect On women.

No, I�m not kidding.

There's -- there's Something wrong.

It's really wrong.

Are you okay?

No, I�m just kind of --

[ horn honks ]

[ tires screech ]

I hate Christmas.

Our future is great. Everything coming up roses.

[ tires screech ]

Was it love at first sight?

You said That you always loved me.

[ tires screech ]

I know my own mother.

I just want to make sure You're all right.

I was worried.

Make more or desire less.

[ laughing ]

Old Jane, new Jane -- to me, They're the same person,

And I love them both.

[ laughing ]

So you think I�ve done okay In this new life?

You've won the lottery.

Yummy.

[ tires screech ]

[ electricity crackling ]

%% ...the fates allow %%

%% Hang your shining star Upon the highest bough %%

%% Have yourself a merry Little Christmas now %%

[ music stops ]

Are you okay?

It's you.

Yes, it is. [ laughs ]

[ laughing ]

I knew it would be you.

I'm sorry. Have we met?

Yeah.

No.

It's a long story...

But [sighs] I have always loved you.

And I�m growing very fond Of you.

No, no, it's true.

Always.

I have always loved you, And I always will.

That's great, and I am a big Fan of eternal love,

But don't you think we should Start by introducing ourselves?

[ laughing ]

I know you, Sam.

Okay, how did you know My name?

I know everything about you.

I know that you're good And kind.

I know that you have A green toothbrush.

Okay, I do have A green toothbrush.