Original subtitles

One of the pleasures of intimate long-term relationships is a level of

comfort which allows couples to enjoy their sexuality.

When lovers engage in sexual activities, they may reach a threshold of ecstasy

punctuated by a wondrous peak known as orgasm.

When I orgasm, I'd say the first word that comes to mind is overwhelming.

It's intense.

That's the greatest sensation ever. Most of the times I experience the tingly

feeling and sometimes I even cry.

It's just something like it feels like something comes from your head all the

way down to your toes and just flows out. It's an incredible feeling.

Everybody's orgasm is different.

It's a sensation that's both common to almost every man and woman and at the

same time unique to each individual.

Some can be very vocal or have a lot of movement.

Others can be quiet and almost unrecognizable.

But the pleasure provided by any orgasm can be a wonderful sensation no matter

how it's experienced.

This video will highlight the latest information about G-Spot and multiple

orgasms and show you some valuable exercises to help you and your partner

enhance your orgasmic potential.

The Guide to G-Spot and Multiples. The Ultimate O.

Guest consultants you'll see in this video include Linda Banner, a sex

therapist in private practice.

Dr. Marty Klein, a certified sex educator, author, and licensed

therapist. Dr. Beverly Whipple, professor at the College of Nursing,

Rutgers University, and president of the American Association of Sex Educators,

Counselors, and Therapists.

and Bernie Zilbergeld, sex therapist and author of the best-selling The New Male

Sexuality.

Orgasms are like holidays. Some orgasms are like the Fourth of July.

Some orgasms are kind of like Labor Day. Some orgasms are like Arbor Day. And I

think that we have to make room in our lives for all these different kinds of

orgasms. Most often, couples believe...

that there is this performance thing, and if I'm going to be a real woman and

satisfy my man and ultimately keep him with sex, then I need to be able to give

him a super orgasm, and he has to show his manhood by giving me a super orgasm.

Clearly, the vast majority of men do not feel good about themselves unless their

partners are satisfied.

But men, since orgasm is so important to them, don't have a way of gauging

women's satisfaction except orgasm.

For anybody who has experienced an orgasm, the personal sensations are

pretty obvious.

What most people don't know is exactly what happens to their bodies during

orgasm.

In both men and women, extra blood engorges the sexual organs and tension

builds.

The pelvic and anal muscles then begin contracting.

Orgasm is accompanied by increased heart rate and breathing, erection of the

nipples, and pelvic throbbing.

The pleasurable muscle contractions are followed by a sharp release of sexual

tension, which usually brings a feeling of relief and satisfaction.

Some people may experience all of these sensations while others do not.

During sexual arousal, an increased volume of blood is pumped into the

penis, usually causing an erection.

The prostate gland, seminal vesicles, and vas deferens contract, pouring their

contents into the urethra.

The sperm mix with these fluids to form the ejaculate.

When a man approaches orgasm, His thrusting movements may increase in

pace. His body tightens as the muscles surrounding his genitals go through

their contractions.

Most men usually have a series of four or five contractions lasting about a

second and a half each.

Semen may spurt several inches or just ooze out. Either is normal.

During female arousal, the flow of blood to the sexual tissues causes them to

enlarge. The breasts, clitoris, and inner and outer vaginal lips puff up.

The vagina expands at the same time. As stimulation continues, the outer two

-thirds of the vagina narrows.

During a G-spot stimulated orgasm, a woman may experience a bearing down

sensation. Some women even expel fluid upon orgasm.

Sexual tension may be seen in the face, hands, thighs, and abdomen.

Sometimes a woman has violent movements.

When most women climax, the muscles around the vagina contract.

Each contraction lasts about a second.

My partner and I, we love to move around. I think it makes it more

passionate. I make so much noise and I move around a lot. When I'm actually

having an orgasm, I make noise, but my partner seems to do most of the noise

making. It depends on the situation whether you can make noise or not, but

if you can, I think it's better and it lets each other know that you are

enjoying the situation.

The way you experience orgasm is something very personal and unique.

There is no reason to be worried about the way you look or the sounds you make

while you're enjoying some of the greatest physical pleasure your body can

provide.

Orgasm is a release of sexual energy, so the more you let it explode unconfined,

the more intensely it can release.

That means letting yourself go during orgasm, whether yelling, grabbing, or

just generally losing control of yourself. This particular couple enjoys

deep... quiet and gentle orgasms.

Some women may think their partner expects a lot of noise and activity to

prove that you're having an orgasm. But don't pressure yourself to do this. And

remember, orgasms don't always feel the same every time.

Orgasms depend to a large degree on your mood and physical condition at the time.

Everybody has their own attitude as well regarding orgasm.

Here's one experience.

For me, having being fixated on a goal makes

the exercise more of a task to accomplish something rather than

enjoying the process itself.

So I try to get away from having a destination and enjoy the journey.

Most commonly, couples have had this myth.

that it has to be a simultaneous orgasm in order to be good.

And I think that is a real difficulty because it creates a lot of pressure for

both partners.

Mark McGuire will sometimes strike out four or five times in one day.

You know, Steve Young will sometimes just be totally flat for the whole game.

And I said sex is not exactly the same because you can have a good time. That

is, you can win.

But you might not have an orgasm. It's just not in the cards for you that day.

Don't make a tragedy out of it.

Some people feel if my partner doesn't have an orgasm, I didn't do something

right. Either I'm not attractive enough or I didn't touch them the right way.

And so we feel almost that our orgasm is for someone else. It's a demonstration

that someone else is capable.

There are two very important aspects to consider when you're enjoying sex play

first of all Don't pressure yourself or your partner to have a great orgasm

Sometimes the conditions aren't right Sometimes the mood isn't there there are

many other factors that intrude on lovemaking Remember there will be plenty

more opportunities for you to enjoy

Orgasm should never become a chore.

Don't work so hard at your climax that you make enjoyment impossible.

Also, some couples seem to want simultaneous orgasms.

Although it can be a special intimate moment, trying to create it can

sacrifice spontaneity.

It's also very hard to focus on pleasure when you're focused on engineering and

timing.

I think intimacy is invaluable in a relationship. And for us particularly,

we found that it really is the key to getting everything started and

continuing the relationship in a smooth, fun, enjoyable, straightforward, great

fashion.

Multiple orgasm is a wonderful experience for some people sometime.

And the best way to enjoy a multiple orgasm is to pretend that you don't know

it exists and let it sneak up on you and enjoy it. That's one way to really enjoy

it without getting too focused on it.

Anything can become a performance.

Anything can be a focus of anxiety and performance pressure.

And multiple orgasm is no exception.

The woman has got to figure out what she needs.

She needs to feel relaxed in the situation, really not uptight. She needs

to have the assurance internally, the confidence, that her partner will give

her what she wants in terms of stimulation.

So that's up to her to set that up with him. Some women talk about having

multiple orgasms as being kind of a building experience. They may have one.

Kind of easy orgasm, and then it may build to another one But again

ultimately they have to be relaxed And I think the bigger thing for women is we

have to give ourselves permission to enjoy our sexuality

Self

-stimulation is very important for a woman who's interested in multiple

orgasms Because she needs to learn which touch feels best and can bring her to

orgasm If you want to experiment with this activity, you should lubricate the

labia clitoris inside of the vagina and the perineum.

Choose a position which is comfortable and relaxing.

Unlike the vagina, the clitoris is not self-lubricating, so some extra

lubrication may make stimulation easier.

Find the areas of your genitals that feel good to touch.

Stroke those areas and bring yourself to arousal using different touches and

pressures. The object of these exercises is to bring yourself to orgasm several

times with your own hand.

If you're having difficulty, you might want to try a vibrator which has aided

many women in becoming multi-orgasmic.

A combination of hands and vibrator can help you overcome an obstacle if you

have difficulty reaching more than one orgasm.

There's really two different feelings when I'm playing with myself and my

fingers versus with a vibrator.

With my fingers, I feel like I can get into the subtleties of all the different

regions of my clit and around the perineum.

I can feel all the juiciness.

So that's a really nice connection with myself.

When you're able to stimulate yourself by hand to more than one orgasm, then

you can show your partner how to do it to you.

For women who need more stimulation, other kinds of vibrators can provide

just what they want.

This one vibrates inside the vagina, as well as stimulating the labia and

clitoris.

It hits both the vagina and my clit, and the motion and the vibration

and the pressure are all pretty constant, so I can really adjust it by

moving myself.

Society has taught us a whole lot of myths about women and sexuality.

Women are not supposed to enjoy their sexuality or you're a loose woman.

Women are not supposed to, you know, touch yourself down there and men are

not supposed to touch anything or kiss anything down there because it's dirty

down there. And so I think part of the first step in getting over our

inhibitions to orgasm are giving ourselves permission to look at these

myths.

The G-spot. Well, I know it's in there somewhere.

I've never been able to find my G-spot myself.

I tend to find it when somebody helps me. I haven't personally found my G

-spot, but my partner has, and that makes it more exciting for me because

that's the spot that gets me to orgasm.

I have definitely found my G-spot, and it was a great discovery, and I'm very

glad that I found it.

The G-spot is not on the vaginal wall.

You feel it.

through the vaginal wall. And it takes quite a bit of pressure to stimulate the

area. It's found about halfway between the back of the pubic bone and the

cervix. Is it a real anatomical entity? Does it exist in every single woman, you

know, the way an elbow exists in all of us? We don't know. But in terms of the

anatomical studies that have been conducted by others since we did our

original research, we do know that every woman has the what is called the

periurethral or skeins glands or the female prostate.

And this is the area of the tissue that we're talking about in terms of the

Grafenberg spot.

You might want to experiment yourself, putting your fingers inside you. See if

you like stimulation in a circle or back and forth.

See how much upward pressure you enjoy.

And together, you and your partner can experiment and find out exactly what

works for you, or at least what works for you this time.

Next time, it might be a little different. And of course... That's what

keeps sex fresh.

When you stimulate the clitoris, what happens is that the vagina balloons out

at the end and the uterus pulls up.

When you stimulate the area of the Grafenberg spot, physiologically, the

uterus pushes down. There's like a bearing down sensation.

And the women say they feel it deeper inside. So physiologically, there is a

different response. But the interesting thing is you can stimulate both areas at

the same time.

Both nerve pathways are involved, and then you have a combination of both.

Some women need exploration to find their G-spot. However, it's almost

impossible to find it while lying on your back because gravity tends to pull

the internal organs down and away from the vaginal entrance.

A sitting or squatting position is better.

The first sensation women usually experience when the G-spot is stimulated

is a need to urinate.

So you're certain that isn't the case, urinate first.

When you're in a comfortable position, insert two lubricated fingers about a

third of the way into the vagina and stroke the front top wall with firm

upward pressure with a kind of come here motion.

Rubbing the wall of the vagina won't produce any sensation.

You do have to use quite a bit of pressure to stimulate this area.

As you stimulate the G-spot, it begins to swell and can be felt as a small lump

between two fingers.

Women vary in their enjoyment of G-spot stimulation in the same way that some

women enjoy the stimulation of their nipples more than others.

If you continue stroking the area with a firm touch, which should feel slightly

to moderately pleasurable, you may notice twinges or contractions in your

uterus.

Experiment with your G-spot as you would with your clitoris. You'll probably want

a heavier pressure on the G-spot and will feel the sensation deeper inside

than when you masturbate clitorally.

Multiple orgasm, of course a woman could do that through masturbation and see how

it works there.

It's hard to explore your own G-spot.

I mean, it could be done, but it really would be better with a partner's finger.

Exploring the G-spot with your lover can be a pleasurable and intimate

experience.

Some women have reported that they are more likely to find their G-spot with

help from their partner.

One way is to lean forward with your elbows down and open your legs.

Rotate your hips slightly upward.

Have your partner slowly slide two lubricated fingers an inch or two into

the vagina.

Palm downwards.

Put a second hand on top of the abdomen, just above the pubic hairline with a

downward pressure.

This can help to stimulate the G-spot.

If you prefer, you can lie on your back with a pillow under your buttocks while

your partner presses up on the inside of your vagina.

Help your partner find the spot more easily by moving your pelvis with him.

And don't hesitate to say what feels good and what doesn't.

I don't pressure myself to have an orgasm because it's not effective.

I can't have one at a whim.

I can if I'm giving it to myself, but it's not nearly as pleasing as even just

getting to that place, right? I think of it like a cliff, getting to the edge of

the cliff but not really being able to jump off. I'm more happy being at that

edge with him than doing something by myself to have an orgasm.

You may only experience mild pleasure the first times you try this technique

and if it becomes irritating stop and try another time Once you've found your

g-spot you can experiment with your partner's penis or fingers or your own

fingers The

purpose of the g-spot in terms of its adaptive significance

is it produces a very strong pain-blocking effect.

And some of the studies that we have conducted have shown that stimulation of

this area blocks pain but not touch.

And also, during labor, we have conducted studies that demonstrate that

there is an elevation in pain threshold.

That is, childbirth would be much more uncomfortable without stimulation of the

nerve pathways that innervate the area of the Grafenberg spot and the cervix.

I have had partners that have experienced multiple orgasms. I myself,

no, never have experienced a multiple orgasm, and I'm very curious about it.

I've never experienced a multiple orgasm. My partner definitely has.

My partner, it's hard for him to have.

I would say he could have one orgasm. The poor guy, I mean, I would say

continue, continue, continue, but once he's finished, he's finished.

I mean, man, it's like the Big Bang.

You know, they feel in one orgasm they really take care of business. It's done.

And so a lot of guys, it just doesn't occur to them, well, gee, wouldn't it be

great to have two more of these?

Most often men, when they have an orgasm, there's an ejaculation

associated with that orgasm. The reality is men can learn to be multiple orgasmic

just as well as women can if they put a mind to it.

They can learn not to ejaculate. They can learn to have an orgasm without.

the full ejaculation if they allow themselves to experience or explore that

opportunity and so i think that that's again one of the first steps is giving

ourselves permission not to have the full blown fireworks the first time

while the woman tries to reach several

orgasms the man practices holding back Using lubrication as well, stimulate

yourself to erection and try to keep stimulation going without ejaculating

for 30 minutes.

During that time, try to bring yourself close to orgasm at least six times.

Stop stroking or reduce the stimulation each time you feel ejaculation

approaching.

If you're used to rapid ejaculation in your usual sexual activities, this may

be more difficult at first.

If you keep at it, you'll find the time you can hold your erection through

stimulation will increase.

The first stage of ejaculation is the emission phase, involving automatic

contractions of the prostate gland.

Firm, rhythmic pressure on the prostate duplicates these sensations of first

stage orgasm. But because you aren't stimulating the ejaculatory reflex, the

orgasmic contractions proceed without ejaculation.

This gives you some of the pleasure without going to ejaculatory

inevitability and can be enjoyed even without a full erection.

It takes time to learn these techniques, so don't be disappointed if they don't

work the first time you try them.

Your skill will improve with practice.

As many men know, there's a whole area from the scrotum back toward the anal

opening that is very sensitive.

And some men experiment with different combinations of pressure and stroking

and having a partner kiss them there, and the results can be very enjoyable.

It's an area that a lot of people sort of take for granted. And isn't it nice

to know that there's a new frontier there for some people?

enhance, facilitate, bring about, cause, do something about an orgasm in a man.

Not as many men are aware of this as men who are aware of the G-spot. The tissue

of the male prostate gland is similar to the tissue of the G-spot.

Studies have been conducted that show that it is the same anatomical makeup.

And there is a research in Slovakia by the name of Milan Zaviacek.

who is head of pathology at the medical school there, and he has done many, many

autopsy studies and shows that the composition of this tissue is the same

as the prostate gland in the male. There's something else about the

prostate, though.

It keeps bad company.

In other words, the only way to get to the prostate is through the anus, and a

lot of people don't feel good about that. So I think that's an inhibitor to

more people learning about this and experimenting with it.

Most sex play begins with touching and caressing. By the time a man knows what

most arouses his partner, he can start stimulating her.

By now, both partners are accustomed to reaching their levels of arousal and

being able to stay at that level without going into orgasm.

Focusing attention on your partner and the pleasure you're enjoying is very

important.

The importance of intimacy is very important in expressing what I feel

and what she feels, what I feel for her and what she feels for me.

That's something...

It's got to be let out.

I feel a big need to express it because it's such an overwhelming feeling.

Breathing style as well can be an aid in sexual pleasure.

For the woman, breathing more slowly and deeply as she becomes aroused allows her

to tolerate more stimulation and excitement, leading to an intense climax

and may even prolong her orgasm.

Well, it feels a lot better if you're relaxed. I know I feel a lot better if

I'm relaxed.

When we were first together, I was really nervous and kind of tense most of

the time, and then it would take a really long time and I would get

frustrated.

And so, you know, as we got to know each other better, then talking more about

things helped me get to be more relaxed, and it's a much more...

pleasurable experience.

Since the majority of women experience clitoral rather than vaginal orgasms,

some may prefer being manually stimulated. You can do this with some

lubrication and gentle stroking of the clitoris.

Try some different touches and strokes in a teasing way to build arousal.

Once you're familiar with the techniques to arouse your partner to multiple

orgasm, you can add them to your regular sexual activities like intercourse and

oral sex.

In single brief orgasm, arousal increases with stimulation through an

excitement phase to a series of contractions lasting from 4 to 12

seconds.

Contractions are the superficial vaginal clenching type.

A multiple brief orgasm is the same, except the arousal doesn't decline.

With further stimulation, it can rise again to orgasm with more superficial

contractions. This process may repeat several times.

However, the multiple deep orgasm can build to higher levels of arousal by

climbing and leveling.

The woman may experience slow contractions of the vaginal muscles and

deep pelvic muscles.

The intensity of these contractions depends on stimulation.

They are slower and longer than the brief orgasm contractions and require

vaginal stimulation as well.

The pleasure giver can control the duration of a contraction when he

stimulates his partner in the climbing process.

Contractions slow when vaginal and clitoral stroking is decreased.

They resume when stimulation starts them again.

In this phase, a woman experiences continuous and smoothly rising pleasure

for minutes to as much as an hour.

The way to enjoy multiple orgasm is after you've had an orgasm, before you

go all the way down, to keep breathing and to stay focused on the experience

and to encourage your partner to touch you a little bit. Not with that same

firm pressure that you enjoy right before an orgasm, but to kind of

maintain the sexual pleasure, to maintain the sexual focus. And as your

body kind of...

comes down from the first orgasm, but not too far down, comes down from the

first orgasm, and as you kind of maintain a sexual presence, then after a

while, your body will begin to respond again to that same sexual stimulation.

Stroking the penis with a basic manual stroke can help bring your lover to

erection. When he's had a full hard erection you can begin to stimulate his

scrotum. Pressure on the perineum can cause heightened arousal.

With continued climbing stimulation, your partner will approach ejaculation.

At this point, do not stimulate the glands.

Concentrate instead on other areas like the scrotum or perineum.

In a man's single orgasm, arousal increases with stimulation through an

excitement phase to a three to five second burst of pleasurable internal

contractions, which is the ejaculatory inevitability.

Several seconds later, ejaculation begins with six to ten strong orgasmic

contractions and the expulsion of semen, lasting for about ten seconds.

In multiple orgasm, Ejaculation is held off, allowing the continued pleasurable

pulsing of deeper pelvic muscles.

Regular ejaculation, if I'm doing, if I simulate myself with my hand or a

vibrator or a toy on my penis, is not as rich, I guess would be the way to say

it. It feels nice. I mean, ejaculation is always a good thing to happen.

For some guys, it happens so fast, they don't remember to have an orgasm with

it. It's like, oh, I squirted, that's nice, let's go.

But for me, if I spend time, let's say half an hour, 45 minutes, playing with

myself, and then have an ejaculation along with an orgasm, then that's what

feels best for me.

Contractions and pleasure can increase from only a few seconds to as much as 30

minutes, depending on the stimulation.

Ejaculation only occurs when either partner chooses.

There are specific positions of intercourse that will stimulate the

grape and bird.

If you take the most common position for sexual intercourse, which is at least in

the United States or the American cultures, it's the woman lying on her

back. If a woman is lying on the back, and this is her vagina, and the man is

on top and the penis goes in, the penis stimulates the posterior or the back

wall of the vagina.

So you have to think of positions of intercourse that would stimulate the

anterior or the top wall. The most commonly reported positions that women

say they like to use that stimulates the area of the Grafenberg spot is the woman

on top, rear entry position, or the woman maybe lying on the edge of the bed

and the man standing up, or a modified missionary position, which would be in

which the man is kneeling up.

Because then the angle the penis will go toward the upper wall of the vagina

When

both partners kneel with the man behind

the woman this allows mutual control which is important to multiple orgasm

The woman may sway forward and back on her hands or forearms and knees

The angle of the penis must go towards the anterior vaginal wall.

A modification of the missionary position is also good for stimulating

the G-spot.

The woman on her back positions a small pillow beneath her buttocks to tilt the

front of her pelvis up, increasing the angle of contact between her vagina and

her partner's penis.

The man mounts on top between her legs.

For prolonged intercourse a side scissors position can reduce fatigue

This position also makes it easier for the woman and her lover to stimulate

every part of each other manually during intercourse

After enjoying intercourse for ten minutes to half an hour, you may wish to

conclude by taking each other to a peak of pleasure.

This can be done by increasing the depth and rate of thrusting.

However, all couples are different and all like different forms of stimulation.

Now, here's a subject that wasn't talked about until just a few years ago, and

that's female ejaculation, or a female having some expulsion of fluid.

Now, sexologists are not in total agreement about this phenomenon, but

what is very clear is that under certain circumstances, some women do have some

fluid. Some women have been very proud of their ejaculation ability, and

they've really tried to fine-tune it, and some women have been very shameful.

It was like they wet the bed, and they didn't know what this was about.

Part of what we do as a sex therapist is to normalize, help them understand what

is normal physical sexual functioning.

Current findings reveal that about a third of the female population can

experience ejaculation.

With women, as with men, ejaculation involves the ejection of fluid in gushes

or dribbles through the urethra at the moment of orgasm.

The phenomenon seems to occur in women when the G-spot is stimulated.

I began ejaculating in my 20s, and it didn't happen all the time. But when the

fluid is expelled, it happens for me at the same time as orgasm. So it gives

orgasm that little extra sort of oomph.

Women and men both describe that ejaculate has no odor and certainly not

the odor of urine, so you don't need to be worried about urinating during

ejaculation. The fluid has been variously described as colorless, clear,

or milky.

Some women have reported that they ejaculate every time they make love,

others only occasionally, though some women have detected a cyclical pattern

possibly related to their menstrual cycle.

Some women prefer to use a vibrator for strong clitoral stimulation while using

another device like the Kegel Sizer for firmness against the G-spot.

For clitoral stimulation, vibration is terrific. I don't get too much clitoral

stimulation from the Kegel Sizer except to the degree that the inside of the

clitoris is so close to the G-spot when you stimulate them through the vaginal

wall, you're getting some clitoral stimulation from within.

Female ejaculation, like response to G-spot stimulation, is closely related

to the strength of the pubococcygeus muscle.

Kegel exercises can help strengthen the PC muscle and make ejaculation possible.

Mainly, I like to use my fingers or a vibrator on my clitoris while I do G

-spot stimulation because the two things together just get me more aroused faster

and make it more likely that I have a good orgasm that way.

When I can feel the fluid escaping from my urethra, it feels like there's sort

of more to the orgasm, I guess would be a way to put it.

In talking to someone who was just experimenting with that, I would

probably say feel for the sensation of fullness like I need to pee because it's

close enough that at first that is what it seems like.

For anybody who's off-put, remembering that it can feel wonderful can maybe

help offset feeling a little, ooh, I don't know if I want to do that.

I'm just in the habit of having a towel near the bed now, and if it feels like

I'm going to do that, I just grab the towel and toss it down, and it's not a

difficult thing to get set up for or a big problem if it happens that I have to

change the sheets or anything.

It's just I can go ahead and do it and then toss the towel in the laundry and

feel great.

Knowing how your body reacts, what you like, what kind of stimulation you like,

there's just so much more to it than a cut and dry, this is you push this

button and this is what happens.

Certainly from women we're hearing there's a lot of possibilities that

basically we don't know beans about orgasm. I think that it's important for

couples to understand that there's a wide variety of types, places,

positions, orgasms.

arousal mechanisms, etc.

I like to tell people that whatever your body wants to do during sex is probably

okay. Our bodies have tremendous wisdom when it comes to sexuality.

And if we can get our little rigid thoughts out of the way, our bodies will

lead us into some wonderful places.

If you and your partner find it difficult to agree on subjects dealing

with sex, or there are other obstacles to your sexual enjoyment, you may want

to consult a specially trained physician or sex therapist.

To find a certified therapist in your area, consult the American Association

of Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists. For further information on

the entire selection of Sinclair sexual enhancement videos for adults, or for a

free catalog, write to the Sinclair Intimacy Institute at P.O. Box 8865

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