Original subtitles

Oh, dearie!

But that's what...

It has been my custom to address the students of Lombardy on opening day.

It gladdens my heart to know that the spirit, the pioneering spirit which

brought Lombardy into being still exists in you.

And remember...

Just as the pioneers who founded Lombardi carried the torch of

civilization into the wilderness, so you must carry the torch of knowledge

into the frontiers of ignorance.

And now, I wish you all good luck.

Oh, Ollie.

Hello, Father.

Oh, hello, Robert.

Hello. Hello, Mr. Stern. Well, Robert, all set to lead our football team to

victory this year?

Well, I hope we don't take it on the chin like we did last season. Oh, Dean,

your speech was so inspiring that it makes me feel like a pioneer mother.

That way, indeed.

Is it true that Lombardi was started for the Indians?

Well, uh, yes. A great many American colleges started that way. Yeah, but

I've never seen an Indian here.

Oh, but they have schools for them on the reservation now. But in my time, one

actually did enroll.

My, but we certainly made him miserable.

All right.

Motorcycle, not so good.

You know, we usually slow down to 90 on the campus.

Oh, sorry.

Just bought them. Man show them how to start them. No show them how to stop

them. Hey, Bob.

That's an Indian.

An Indian?

What's he doing here?

It looks like he's going to enroll.

Oh, yeah?

Come on, boys. Duty calls us.

Can't fix them.

Park gone.

Which way men's dormitory? Well, not in a hurry, are you?

My name's Hayner. Bob Hayner.

Me little black clown.

You call him George Black.

Pleased to meet you.

You know, George, I don't think you like the dormitory.

No? Ever thought of joining a fraternity?

Ollie, he looks like a good prospect to me.

What do you think?

Well, he looks like he might do.

Let's take him over to the house and have the boys meet him. Great idea. Come

with us, George. Step right over there, old boy. Go that way.

Better take him close. Oh, we'll take care of your clothes, George. Hey,

freshman, take care of the chief's luggage. Yes, sir.

The main thing is athletics. Are you an athlete?

They play football, Indian school.

Sometimes run a little bit. Track man, eh? What did you run, the mile?

No sprints. Just 100-mile marathon.

Uh-oh.

Oh, we'll have to fly in, folks. It's an old Sigma Phi custom. Now, this won't

hurt you a bit, Chiefy. Just hold on, you know. It won't be a minute. Now,

I'll just step right over here to my office. 100 miles an hour, Chiefy.

Boys! Make it easy. Where do you like them, boys? Give them air. Give them

air.

Make it easy.

How do you like them, girls? My cousin's from Milwaukee.

We're now in front of the Sigma Phi house.

You'll have to remove your shoes before entering.

Good. How do you like them, Mom?

Now, little black cloud, if you'll lift your right foot.

There's a nice pair of dainty boots you got there, George.

Just follow me, Chief.

I'm your pal.

We're now in the house.

Will you please close the door, Sling?

Every new pledge of Sigma Phi must first enter the inner chamber and present

himself to the shrine.

He must declare his willingness to observe the high ideals of the

fraternity. Oh, High Master.

He must first wear the sacred ceremonial robe.

By all means, High Mogul.

Remove your coat, George.

That's it.

And now your trousers.

There we go. That's it, right?

to the little trousers.

Now, raise your arms.

That's it. That's it. You're a perfect fit, Robert. It's very becoming, isn't

it, Ollie? Oh, yes.

Yeah, it's a dream.

It's a dream. Now, George, you will enter the chamber and repeat the oath of

loyalty right this way.

There. Our Indian members usually give a nice big war whoop to indicate their

willingness to fight for the fraternity.

Remember? Give it everything you got.

I give it plenty.

As the flower of young womanhood...

We've got to go.

There's your cup, Betty.

And that's for you. I'm sorry, but that sudden shower wasn't meant for you. Oh,

so it wasn't meant for me. Well, that's just fine. That makes everything all

right. Honestly, it was an accident.

I suppose my nightgown got on that Indian by accident.

Well, not exactly.

You see, we were just giving him an old Lombardi welcome.

I hope it didn't give you too bad an impression.

That would be impossible.

Hello? Hello?

Hello? Can't hear a thing. Can't hear a thing.

Hello?

Hey, what are you doing to me, the customer? Take this phone.

Hello? Hello?

Yes. Slave roll?

Yes. Well,

isn't it wonderful?

Yes. When did you get in town?

Oh, well, I never... Oh, yes, last week. Oh, right.

Yes. Oh, it was wonderful.

That big balcony.

Oh, it was wonderful. Wonderful.

Now, if something's going on, I can't tell you what.

Yes, dear. It will.

Oh, talk heavily. Talk. Goodbye.

It was lovely.

Yes, dear.

Goodbye. Goodbye.

Who was it?

We'll clean for you. We'll dye for you.

We'll take the spots off that hide for you. And we make a suit that's really a

beaut. What can we do?

You can take this suit back. I don't want it. What do you mean you don't want

it? You ordered it, didn't you? I ordered a size 36 suit for $32. And you

nitwits make up a size 32 suit and charge me $36.

Well, what's the difference?

Oh, now listen, Freddy. We spent our last 20 bucks on making up this suit.

I'm sure we can fix it some way. That's impossible.

You can't make a 36 out of a 32.

Who do you think I am?

You, you, why, you, uh, you weigh about 167, don't you? Why don't you tie them

on 167? Hey,

wait a minute.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

It's no use.

I won't take the suit.

Have a heart. You're rich. We're working our way through college.

The least you can do is share our loss. What about giving us 10 bucks?

Well, make it five.

No, not a penny.

We'll settle for a buck, lunch money.

No, and furthermore, I think I'll write an editorial.

for the Daily Lombardi and denouncing the classy campus cleaners and urging

the students to boycott. Wait a minute. Come back here. You can't do that. It'll

ruin us. What'll you take to lay off of that editorial?

Well, uh... Wait a minute.

So long, boys.

Yeah, so long.

There goes our lunch money. Yeah.

Editorial. Never heard anything like that in all my life.

We've been tailors at this college for seven years, and it seems like only

yesterday we had our first customer.

It was yesterday.

Hello, customer. How do you do?

Wait a minute.

Just a moment, madam.

I mean, mister. What can we do for both of you?

Nightgown, not my fault.

Boys play dirty trick.

Rip pants.

You'll fix him? Why, Chief, we're the best tailors in town.

Ixnay, ixnay.

I'll say the utey, I'll say the utey. I'll say. You see, it can't be fixed,

can it, boys? No, no, no. You see, it can't be fixed. Can't be fixed. What you

need is a new suit.

We've no got time. Say, we'll make you a suit you'll never forget. Sure.

Can't wait. Knock it out in 10 minutes. 10 minutes, plenty fast.

We'll grease lightning. Get the typewriters, boys.

Got it.

Yes, yes. Arm.

32. Chest.

32.

Waist. Put on a little weight. Huh? 32.

Wrist.

Thirty-two.

Five.

Thirty-two.

American can.

Thirty-two. Buy me a hundred chairs.

What?

I imagine offhand the man takes a thirty-two.

Got one right here for you, all made up. Boy, you're going to like this. Really

gets it out of here. You never saw anything like it. Here you are. Here you

are. There we are.

That's bargain of the day. Right here. Try it on.

That's great. You're going to like this. Sweet. That's great. Bye. You'll like

it. Goodbye.

That's that.

Woo!

Sorry me take so long. Have hard time. Put them on.

Suit them, fit them very good.

You must come again.

Thanks, but me leaving. Was going to college here, but no like them. We don't

blame you. Going back to reservation.

We had a reservation. We go back to it ourselves.

How much for suit?

My dear man, you are one of those lucky people. Our organization has chosen to

equate you with our product.

It is with pleasure that we inform you of that.

By eliminating the profits of the middleman, the wholesaler, the retailer.

And the tailor, my angel, and the tailor. The atrelet, the atrelet has

nothing. Am I right, Bob? Right, right. The atrelet pipe and the lapples, the

lapples have nothing to do with the pocket on the collage. The collage is

the main, the main. And when I say the...

You may understand, but how much for a suit?

$25.

Plenty cheap.

Huh?

No!

$100? Is it real?

Is it? Oh, I forgot the federal sales tax. That makes it $42.75. And the state

tax. That makes it $52.50.

And with the city tax, that makes it $69.75.

And not forgetting the regular $30 contribution to the orphans of the

county. That makes it exactly... $99.75.

$99.75?

Since the gentleman gets changed. Yes, the gentleman gets changed. The

gentleman gets changed, yes, sir.

I'm sorry, there's no change. You'll have to pay us later.

You've got to pay now.

Let me go away.

Why, you weren't serious about leaving Lombardi, were you?

Lombardi's a great college. Sure, stick around. You might learn something, just

like us, I hope. Maybe you're right.

Me come to college, learn about white men.

Better stay do it, huh?

That's the spirit shake. Call me Harry.

How? How. How. How. And how.

Me little black cloud.

You call him George Black.

Hey, George.

Say, ever think of joining a fraternity?

Learned that trick already today.

This is no trick. We're on the level. Sure, come on in. Yeah, you'll love it.

Maybe you forget.

Me Indian.

Think nothing of it. We've been in a red so long we feel like Indians. Yes, sure.

Yes.

You are now in the inner sanctum of Rodeltero.

Like them plenty.

Where are other brothers of fraternity? We are the plenty.

Huh? George, you are the first new member Rodeltero has accepted since it

was founded by the Pilgrim Fathers.

Plenty thankful.

Great honor.

Let me tell you, if you... We'll initiate you right now.

All those in favor, say aye. Aye. Take your pants off.

Where are you going?

Sorry, learned that this morning. Goodbye.

We were only kidding. You can keep your pants on. Yeah, keep your shirt on.

You'll join, won't you? How's about it?

Very happy, John.

Good, Adam. Boy, sit down. As grand exalted treasurer, it is my duty to

inform you that the initiation fee to our exclusive brotherhood is exactly two

bits. And you owe us $99.75. That takes in all taxes and also includes your

donation to the orphans fund.

That makes it an even hundred.

Let's celebrate with a feast. Good, me like help orphans.

Maybe you tell them what orphans get benefit from donation?

Well, you see, George, we three haven't any parents.

Is

Mr.

O'Hara home?

Why, yes.

Won't you come in?

Father's in the living room.

You?

I don't believe you know my daughter, Janet. She's been at school in Boston.

But I finally persuaded her Lombardi is the place for her.

This is Mr. Stern, president of our alumni association.

How do you do? And Oliver, Mr. Stern's son.

Hello. Mr.

Harper, our graduate manager.

How do you do?

Bob Hainer, captain of our team.

How do you do?

Yes, we've met. You remember.

Well, will you all sit down and make yourselves comfortable?

Thank you.

Well,

gentlemen.

What can I do for you?

Well, Mr. O'Hara, we came to see you on a rather important mission.

Frankly, we're very concerned.

Very concerned, indeed, about the defeats of our football team suffered in

the last few years.

Don't think that I haven't been concerned, too.

But I'm no miracle man.

Well, the point is, Mr. O'Hara, we've been losing too often. Just a moment,

Mr. Stearns.

I was thinking that...

Well, perhaps we ought to talk to the coach another time.

Sorry, Bob, but the matter can't wait.

All right, let's have it.

Well, we feel that Lombardi needs a new coach.

Oh, we realize, of course, that you've trained some great teams in the past

before coming to Lombardi.

But, well, times have changed and... Go ahead, Mr. Stearns. Get to the point.

Well, frankly, we feel that with a younger, more energetic man in charge,

Uh, well, with such a man in charge, Lombardi might do better.

Did it ever occur to you, Stearns, that Lombardi might do better if you bleacher

coaches spent your time digging up good prospects instead of trying to tell me

how to run the team?

I didn't come here to discuss the conduct of the Alumni Association.

When Midwestern told me I was through, I didn't ask for another chance.

But I'm asking you for one now.

Midwestern's on our schedule this season for the first time.

For three years, I've been waiting for the chance to show them I'm not washed

up. And you've got to give me that chance.

I'm sorry, but this discussion is getting us nowhere, Mr. O'Hara.

If you don't resign, we'll have to ask Dean Moss to act.

Then ask him.

I've got a contract, and I'm not resigning. Very well.

Good day.

Good day to you.

It's been so pleasant seeing you, Mr. Hayner. You always bring such good

tidings.

I'm sorry, dear.

I wanted to crack at Midwestern more than anything else in the world.

You can get another job. After all, you have a reputation.

I did have before those bunchers started working on me. Ah, now, don't you worry.

Too old.

Why, the dirty...

Package

for you, lady.

More good tidings? It's a nightgown to replace the one I borrowed.

Personally, I think it's very lovely.

Then personally, I'm sure I wouldn't like it. Wait a minute, I've got to talk

to you.

Whatever you're selling, I don't want any.

Now get you put out of that door or I'll break it open. But I've got to explain.

Give a man a chance.

Did you?

But that's it.

That's why I came back.

He's going to get a chance.

Come here.

You mean they've changed their minds about him?

Sure. What I was trying to tell you was... They don't want him to resign?

That's it.

I talked to the committee. You see... Well, anyway, they've changed their

minds. Oh, that was swell of you. You don't know how much this means to Dan.

He's a great coach. The best.

Besides, he has a very pretty daughter.

It was all wrong about a certain young man.

Well, you really get to know me.

Thanks. Oh, will you excuse me? I can't wait to tell him the good news.

Sure. Oh, will I see you at the dance tonight?

I wouldn't be at all surprised.

Great.

Being Midwestern means everything to the old man.

I've talked to the boys on the team, and we all agree you ought to be given a

chance to do it. Now, now, it won't do any good to get excited, Robert. After

all, the fact that the team has lost hasn't been entirely the coach's fault.

You see, we had... I appreciate the kindliness of your motives, Robert, but

the matter is out of our hands.

Our deal with the new coach has already been closed.

But, Mr. Stearns, as captain of the team, I... Much as I'd like to help you,

Robert, nothing can be done.

Pardon me.

Aren't you the man I've been looking for? Well, I think so, but I'm not very

sure of anything these days.

Well, shall we, Miss O'Hara?

Oh, by all means, Mrs. Hayden.

Happy?

Am I?

You ought to have seen Dad's face when I told him the good news.

You know... Being a football player, you can understand that it means more to him

than just having his job.

It's... well, it's something else.

Janet, there's something I've got to tell you.

Nothing wrong, I hope.

Oh, no.

Everything's fine.

Well, what is it?

Oh, nothing.

Maybe I'd better tell you later.

Most people talk a lot and never accomplish

much. So let's not talk a lot of

love and such.

Why talk about love when there's so much to be done?

Word can't reveal the way.

I feel they never ring true I talk

about love When a kiss is so much fun Why

waste our time on words When I'm with you

The wisest men will always recommend That

actions speak louder than words

With no excuse Let's say no more Nothing more Night

has just begun The moon is high above When

there's so much to be done Why should we talk about love?

Why talk about love?

much to be done words can't reveal the way I feel

they never ring true I talk about love

when a kiss is so much fun why waste our

time on

I always recommend that actions speak louder than words.

So what's the use?

We've no excuse. Let's say no more.

Nothing more. Night has just begun.

The moon is high above.

When there's so much to be done.

Why should we? Why should we?

Your handkerchief, lady.

Scram.

Pardon me, but

I've got something in my eye.

Better get him out.

Well, won't you help me?

Senors, senors, and seniors.

Surprise, surprise, surprise.

We used to be dyers and cleaners.

Now I'm on the make for this guy.

Yes, she's on the make for us guys.

Our cleaning and dressing, we're bound to distressing, for tailoring wasn't so

easy. So now we are Latin, but Latin or Latin, and that's why our accents are

cheesy.

She says with reliance she pitched for the Giants, but now there's a lull in

her life.

I know she's saying hi, Soprano, but this bag is calling her home.

I'm Gosha Lopez. I'm Gosha Perfecto. I'm Gosha.

Under my skin.

You sweet little Latin, your skin is like satin. Oh, tell us what perfume you

use. It's fragrant salami with herby pastrami. In the meantime, get off of my

shoe.

Oh,

I have a passion and it's quite the fashion. My passion is tearing a

herring. I'm right away.

I'm right away.

And you're great.

You keep going your way.

And I'll keep going my way. Right away.

Stay away from my doorway.

Away.

Oh, way, way down on the Swanee River, far from the Spanish

shore.

Pardon me.

Hiawatha seems to be on the warpath tonight.

I think he's kind of cute.

He'd be cuter back on the reservation.

Hi. Did an Indian just pass here?

Why, sure, ma'am. He just disappeared over them bar hills.

Yeah?

You know, this place isn't very private.

How about a walk in the moonlight?

What's the matter with the moonlight here?

It's much nicer down at the stadium.

The stadium? I didn't know anything went on there at night. There's more going on

there at night than there is in the daytime.

An old Lombardi custom, I suppose. One of the oldest.

Why, do you know Lombardi had a stadium before it had a football team?

No. Whoa.

I'll give a lady a little time, will you?

What again?

Sorry. Being followed.

This seems to be a hard day for you, Chief.

Maybe you should have stuck to the wide open spaces.

Get along plenty good right here.

Oh, George!

Georgie! Gotta go!

Oh, pardon me.

Has that Indian passed here again?

I had him once, but I lost him. He slipped through my fingers just like a

needle. Why don't you wear gloves?

Oh, why so?

Ladies and gentlemen, it is fitting that we honor a man tonight who, more than

anyone else, has brought to Lombardi a reputation of good sportsmanship.

Need I add, I am alluding to Coach O'Hara?

Will you come up here and say a few words, Coach?

what Coach O'Hara has achieved during the years he has coached major football

teams. Coach O'Hara's reputation as the grand old man of football speaks for

itself.

It is with genuine regret that I announce Coach O'Hara's resignation.

We hate to see the coach leave, but his years of faithful service entitle him to

arrest.

However... I am happy to announce that we have been able to secure the services

of an able man to take over the post at Lombardi.

Oh, Anna, wait a minute, please.

Honestly, I didn't know they were going to announce it tonight. I did my best.

You must believe me.

Must I?

You sure made a hit with her.

Excuse, please.

Oh, it's you.

Sorry, used car. Had to hide.

Oh. Well, stay where you are, and I'll rescue you.

Thanks. That is, if I can get out of here.

Fix them easy.

Huh?

Oh, plenty, thanks. I hope you didn't dent too many fenders.

Fender's all right. No push very hard.

Can I drop you someplace?

Thanks. No place special to go but like the ride.

Eyes on George.

Can I help it if I'm nearsighted? You didn't have any trouble following those

gals? Oh, keep your wig warm. He's probably inside.

Yeah, well, he better be.

I'll tell you one thing. If George got away from us, there's going to be a

shake-up around here.

And if he hasn't gotten away from us, there's still going to be a shake-up.

Where will we put him? Yeah, did you ever think of that? Three's a cloud in

bed already.

There's always room for a fourth if we sleep sideways.

Come in.

Excuse me. Wrong room. Make mistake.

Hey! Wait a minute, George.

It's me.

You're not a squire?

Honest thing, Jim.

We're looking for you after the dance.

Have a good time?

No. What's the matter? You look kind of sad.

Me plenty sad.

Caught your hair.

They kick them out.

Yeah, that's too bad.

I'd like to help them. It's a cinch if you had a million dollars.

Money important?

Is it? It's the whole works around here.

White man's college is very funny.

If we have money, we keep coaching job, maybe?

Sure. If we had the right amount, the dean would give us the college.

Me got money.

We mean real money.

My money real?

Plenty real.

What? $21,000?

$30,000?

$45,000? Always carry a little extra. Maybe need them unexpected.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. $10,000 bill?

Huh. Pretty pictures, huh? Yeah, pretty.

No carry too much, maybe lose them. Yeah, George, would you mind telling me

where you get all this money?

Oil wells.

Oil wells?

Sure, in Oklahoma.

Get $10,000 every day.

Barrels? No, dollars.

$10,000 a day? You mean every day, including Sundays?

Enough to keep coaching job?

It's enough to buy a body with a piece of harbor thrown in.

Oh, me forget.

Sorry. Can't do.

Wait a minute, George.

Wait a minute. What do you mean you can't do it, George, old boy?

Don't want people know about money.

When people know, treat them nice, slap them on back, pretend to be friend,

don't mean it. No like them. We come to college like poor boy.

So meet real friends like you.

You... Yeah, we're your pals.

Sorry can't spend money.

Wanted help coach very much. Well, George...

I have the solution. If you don't want to have people know you got any money,

why, we'll spend it for you. You will?

Sure. You're a fellow Rodelt, aren't you? A Rodelt always stands behind a

Rodelt.

Well, it'll be a big favor.

You think we keep coaching job all right? Sure. Nothing to worry about. Oh,

thanks. I feel better now.

You tell them when need more.

Let's go to bed now. That's a good idea. Sure, a little rest will fix you up.

You'll find a bed nice and soft. Swell sheet.

Hey, fellas.

Yeah? Forgot. Need them car fare tomorrow.

Can you lend me a dime? What?

How about some overcoats? No,

have you got a coat with a kyblet in the back? A kyblet?

No, it has no kyblet. No kyblet. No kyblet. No kyblet.

I've been hearing such marvelous things about you all. We've been hearing a lot

about you all, too.

What are you doing tonight, babe? I'm going to be all alone.

Sure enough. See you at 8 tonight.

I'll be there at 7.30. Don't bother, boys. The lights will be out by then.

Hello?

Oh, I'm sorry. He's very busy right now.

I'm not seeing any visitors at all today.

No.

Well, I'm very sorry. That's not my fault.

Yes? We want to see the dean.

I'm sorry. He's very busy right now. Oh, he's a busy dean, eh?

There'll be a busy dean before we get through with him.

We must see him. It's a matter of life or death. What do you mean, life or

death? We're just dying to see him. Some joke, eh?

Office hours are from 2 to 4 in the afternoon.

2 to 4? That reminds me. I have to make an important phone call.

She was a nice girl while she had it.

She's still got it.

Oh, yeah?

How dare you burst in here unannounced? It's all right. You can be informal with

us. Won't you have a cigar?

Ah, thank you. Ah, thank you. Ah, thank you.

Nice guy won't even say thank you.

Father, you ought to have him thrown out. I'll have you thrown out, you

insolent pups.

This is too much.

Take it easy, take it easy. Think of the wife and kidneys.

How dare you do this to me?

I'm the dean.

He's the dean.

The dean.

You're a better man than I am, Gunga Dean.

There he stood, the boy on the burning deck, with his feet full of blisters.

And he drew, and he drew. But up spoke Jake the plumber.

A goodly man was he.

And he said, give me the sun.

The white, white, white, white.

You can go your way. Yes. And I can go mine. Yes.

Come here, turds.

Good evening, Mr. and Mrs. North America and all the ships at sea. Flash, the

stork delivered a blessed event the ninth in a row to Mrs. Lem Zilch, the

town butcher. The stork never got out of the butcher shop alive.

So long now. I'll be back in a flash with some flesh.

You're driving me mad.

Flash, the dean's gone mad.

Flash,

what dean of what college announced the reinstatement of what coach named O'Hara

to what job at what raise in what salary?

What? Who knows?

Read that bag.

Don't you dare read that bag.

If you don't get out of here, I'll call the police.

Call the gold cars. Call the gold cars. Give me that phone.

All right, yep.

Get me Paris. Hello, Paris.

Lafayette, we are here.

Impudence. Quiet, Dean. You're nervous.

You're not nervous, Dean.

Don't get excited, Dean.

Right on.

We want to talk to you about an endowment.

Did I hear you say endowment?

What is that, ten?

There it is. Uncle Sam's prettiest grading job.

A nifty-fifty grand.

Pretty, pretty, pretty.

Oh, yes, indeed.

Fifty thousand.

You see, Dean, we always wanted to do something full on body.

Well, most laudable, I'm sure.

Oh, there's more where that came from. I hope.

We've always been rich. We've just been traveling through college incognito.

Incognito.

Incognito.

Incognito.

Incognito. You see, the fellow. Well, anyway, Dean. Dean, we... Dean?

Oh, yeah.

You see, Dean, we were born with silver spoons in our pockets.

We disguised ourselves as students. We wanted to see how the other half lived.

Oh, indeed.

Yes, yes. Now, Dean, you see, we've had our eyes on you for a long time. And we

decided you're the guy to show us how to spend our dough.

Well... Well, that's very kind, I'm sure.

And I must say, I've had my eyes on you boys, too.

As very promising students.

Now, all we want to know is where do we spend it? Well, I don't know how much

you're prepared to spend, but we do need a new gymnasium. You've got a new

gymnasium. With a swimming pool. With two swimming pools.

One to dive in and one to swim in.

Now, Dean, I was just thinking, Lombardi's making an awful big mistake

letting Coach O'Hara go.

We sort of like to see O'Hara stay here.

Well, as a matter of fact, before you boys came in, I had just been thinking

perhaps we had been a bit hasty in accepting the coach's resignation, and I

decided to ask Coach O'Hara to remain with us.

That's a good idea.

But you understand, of course, the endowment has nothing to do with my

decision. Oh, no.

So, Dean, you go right ahead and build your gymnasium.

Fair enough, Spence. Make it a high-class joint. Yes, and dedicate the

first three dumbbells to us. You're very kind. Oh, just a moment. Pardon us, sir.

There's a clear I'm finding it entirely easy to talk to you. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, there's just one more thing, Dean.

For seven years, we've been on a football team and haven't played a game.

All we've done is sat on a bench hardening our arteries.

Now we'd like to play.

Not start or anything. Just put us in for a touchdown or two and then take us

out. Oh, to be sure. Why, I shall be glad to speak to the coach about it.

I'm sure it can be a raise.

I shall see the coach in the morning.

The number's Drexel, 800.

And if my brothers answer, it's okay.

It's all in the family.

Ready one two Ready one two

Now I

want the varsity to run a few plays against the second team You big

boy you I mean You haven't been out here before have you?

No, sir Ever play any football

Played some.

Where? Oklahoma Industrial School for Indians.

What position?

All positions.

Not all at once.

Oh, me changed around plenty.

I see. And where did you play best?

Played about the same, maybe. All positions.

Well, you'll have to make up your mind what position to try for.

What position him play?

Hayner? He plays quarterback.

May try and make quarterback.

All right.

I'll give you a chance.

Let's go.

Oh, hello.

Hello. Sit down.

Thanks.

Say, you haven't seen the Indian, have you?

No. Haven't you found him yet?

No. Can't figure him out.

Do you suppose he's avoiding me?

All right, we're going to scrimmage now for 15 minutes.

Let's show Coach O'Hara what we can do.

Oh, maybe you're right.

Anyway, his resistance will be weaker when he gets through.

Oh, there's Mandian.

Watch out.

I'll hit that Indian so hard he'll wish he was back playing with the coyotes.

Hey, Chief, couldn't you run faster in your moccasins?

Confirmation on four.

Signals. One, two, three, four.

Did you see it? The whole team couldn't stop him.

Keep it up, kid.

Maybe no need, Marcus. Why, you dirty.

The next man that starts

a fight on this field can turn in his uniform.

Black, that was a great bit of playing.

From now on, you're first string quarterback.

And, Hayner, if you've got any objections, let me know now.

When you come out here on the field, you've got to forget your personal

quarrels and pull together for the team.

Now, let's try that play again.

On the ball. Come on, yeah.

Come on.

Keep it going, boys. Come on. Come on. Tough luck, Bob.

Thanks to me, Georgie, dear.

Well, when I'm around you, I get weak in the knees. I get a pain in my heart. I

choke up. Better see a doctor.

No, Georgie, aren't you human? Why are you so cold?

Not cold.

Hot. Fire.

Not up there. In here. I'm burning for you. Give me one reason why you can't

marry me.

I am Indian.

Squaw must be Indian.

Look.

Rule of tribe.

Squaw must have same mark.

All that's keeping us from renting a teepee together is that little picture.

Little picture mean plenty.

George will tell us what he's going to do to Midwestern on Saturday.

Not much good for public speaking, but thanks anyway.

Hello.

Oh, hello. Oh, wait a minute.

This is something you've got to listen to.

I really did try to get the committee to change its decision about your father.

It probably doesn't mean much to you now, but... Well, I wanted you to know.

I'm glad you told me, Bob.

It's well the way things have turned out for your dad.

He deserves it.

Thanks.

Well, uh... Well... I hope I'm not keeping you from anything.

Oh, no, I was just out for the air.

May I ask a personal question?

It's bound to happen sometime. You're sure you won't be offended?

I'll try anything once.

Well, all right, then.

How do you like bonfires?

Oh, I can take them or leave them.

Well, suppose we leave this one.

Nothing like a walk to keep and trim.

Since our Indian friend arrived, I haven't been getting as much exercise as

I like.

You know, that bench is kind of hard.

Oh, that's too bad. I'll make you a cushion. Thanks. Bread and butter.

Bread and butter. If you ever hear of anyone interested in a slightly more

beaten football player, I'm available and very reasonable.

Oh, really?

I'll keep that in mind.

And now for a number dedicated to George Black.

Swing it, Inez!

Far away from here On a day each year

Big Chief swing it, call subscribe.

While I sing it, I'll describe that holiday.

Big Chief.

Round and round the campfire bright. Woo!

Wars and braids dance through the night.

Then the Chief gets hot. Hot she walks, hot.

He's a Chief. Go watch.

Woo-hoo!

All his Redskins watch him dance.

Keeping time with Indian champs While he frees a Oop-a-longa, oop-a-longa, woo

-hoo! Big cheese, big cheese Drink it, blah-blah Big cheese, big cheese

Drink it, woo-hoo!

The Red Man

Let me pull him back.

Big Chief Swingett showed him how. Spit and pull him full of rhythm now. Spit

and pull.

I'll wait here.

Hello, Bob.

Well, if it isn't Cuddles.

I hardly recognized you at first.

You know, I haven't seen you since I stopped playing regularly on the team.

Oh, Bob, don't be such an old meanie. You know how I feel about you all.

Mm-hmm.

I've been finding out.

Oh, but honey, I was only trying to make you jealous.

Take me home if you want to. Well, thanks, Cuddles.

But I'm not a member of your club anymore.

Oh, Bob!

Oh, Bob!

Hey, Bob, I've been looking all over for you.

Hi, Cuddles. It's important.

Yeah, what's on your mind?

I've got to see you alone.

Okay.

Cheer up, Cuddles.

There's always Ollie.

I stumbled into something terrific.

George Black used to play Sunday football for the Simran Oil Company back

in Oklahoma.

So what?

Don't you see? That makes him a professional.

We can get him kicked off the team.

But that means Midwestern will win. What of it? Here's a chance to put that

Indian in his place and get back on the TV yourself.

Ollie, if you ever crack about this to anyone, I'll break your size 13 neck.

Hey, what's happened to you? It isn't only that Lombardi would lose.

This game means everything to the coach.

Oh, I never really felt that way about it, Bob. Well, you know it now, so keep

your lip buttoned up and scram out of here. Sure.

You are going to take me home, aren't you, Bob? I told you no when I met her.

Did you ever hear of the Cimarron Oil Company?

Sweet girl, aren't you?

Shall we be going?

I've got a date.

It'd be terrible if George couldn't play Saturday.

Listen, Cuddles, you wouldn't do a rotten thing like that.

Not unless you made me.

I'll be back in a minute as soon as I break my date with Janet. You can

explain to her later. I want to go now.

All right.

Well, you might as well smile across the page.

Bob, honey, it sure will be fun going to the big game with you.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

Tribal cryers, woo, woo, woo. People say the tribe is screwy, and it must be for

the tribe is us.

I'm Blackfoot. I'm Strawfoot. I'm Blackfoot. Ow!

Years ago, the Blackfoot Indian nation, nation, kicked us off a government

reservation. Nation said we caused lots of aggravation.

Nation will now hold our Indians into patient, patient.

But the FDR administration, station, said we had to get an education,

patient. So we want to join your congregation.

Gation, Gation Nation, Gation Nation, Gation Nation.

Indian boys give explanation.

How to say the sweet and wrong in the right syncopation.

Harking while our thoughts we muster.

To the days of general custom, every great was in that battleground.

We fought for some of Custer's pies. We ran out there to beat them. We captured

all of Custer's pies and then began to eat them.

Strawberry, raspberry, gooseberry, orange, lemon, lime, and peach.

J-E-L-L-O-R

-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O

-O-O-O-O-O

-O

The college dance around.

They all get hot and start with zoom, zoom, zoom, zoom, zoom, zoom, zoom,

zoom. At Arkansas, the faculty staff do a dance that makes the college laugh.

The college dad can't stand to laugh. But Arkansas, a woman in half.

But all these dances aren't matcha. We prefer heat in the hotcha. You can learn

it if you watcha. Do it once and then it's gotcha.

See that nifty on the 50-yard line, that gorgeous college flame you see at every

game. If you don't know sweet Varsity Sue, I'll describe her to you.

She wears a crimson rose for Harvard. She wears a marigold for old Purdue.

And when you see her at New Haven, her chrysanthemum is full of blue.

She wears a golden rose.

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She wears a primrose born of Brasswood. She wears a pattern of the Michigan.

And when she sports a crimson poppy, she's a Southern California fan.

She wears a meatball born of Michigan.

And a summer sky for NYU.

But the rarest, rarest, I'll tell you what, is that good old...

Please let me go by.

Janet, about the other night, I didn't stand you up because I wanted to.

There's no need to explain.

It was perfectly clear to me. But it wasn't clear. Please trust me.

Why should I?

Well, because...

Are

you all through?

You can't expect me to fall for your line forever, you know.

I want to send a telegram.

Right away, miss.

This is my daughter, Janet.

Oh, how do you do? Hi.

Say, O'Hara, we received a telegram from your captain, Bob Hainan. Now,

ordinarily, I wouldn't pay any attention to a while like that, but... Read that.

Well, there's probably nothing to it, but I thought I'd better check with you

just to be sure.

Is Hayner the kind of fellow who'd do a thing like this?

I'm afraid it's exactly what he'd do.

Oh, George.

Pardon me.

See you later, fellas.

Yes, sir?

Did you ever play football in Oklahoma?

I mean any place except the Indian school.

Played Sundays for a similar oil company.

All right, George.

That's all I wanted to know. You can't play today.

But why?

You got money for playing, didn't you?

Sure. Just took it because the other fellas did.

Gave it away.

Just played for fun. That makes no difference.

Playing for money made you a professional.

You're ineligible.

It's too bad, George.

Yes, I'm sorry, Black. Good luck, O'Hara.

Can't we do anything, Coach?

I'm afraid not, George.

We sure hope you boys win. Are you the Ritz brothers?

Of course we are.

Say, our paper would like to print something about you boys.

Reporters. Oh, an interview, eh?

Fire away.

Got any new plays up your sleeve?

Plays? Tell them about that double-delayed knee-action triple pass.

Yes, well, that triple pass, boys. You see, when I get into the game, I pay it

back. I throw a forward pass to him like that.

He throws a lateral to him like that. He throws a backer pass to me like that. By

that time, the other team is so dizzy why we just walk over for a touchdown

like this. Here's our picture, boys. The name is Ritz. R-I-T-Z. R as in Ritz. I

as in V.

T as with limit. And Z as in Zazoo Zaz.

Zazoo Zaz. Zazoo Zaz. Zazoo Zaz. Zazoo Zaz.

You all ready for the big game?

Huh?

What's the matter with my big baby? You got a tummy ache?

Scram!

Let the bugles blow, da-da-da-da-da-da. Let the trumpets blast, da-da-da-da-da

-da. Let the whole world go.

Now we're here at last.

Let the clarinet play red hot licks.

Is everybody happy?

Ha-ha-ha-ha.

With a hit and a break, we are coming your way with the spirit of 76.

As down the battlefield we march, the earth will shake and break.

I am fight and I am good. And I've got a hat.

We're in the body now. We are in Taylor's town.

We've gotten so rich, we don't have mistakes.

We're in the body now. Bola Bola, Bola Bola, in Alaska,

it is cooler.

Bola Bola, Alamarta, down in Dixie, it is hotter.

Listen, my children, and you shall hear of the midnight ride of Paul Revere. He

went to save the nation, of course, but as he rode his favorite horse, the merry

-go-round broke down, and Paul never got to town. So he shed a tear for Paul

Revere, called the merry-go-round.

We march through 1776.

We march through 1777.

We march through 1778.

Time!

March him out!

First locker on the left of the door.

Hello, Slade.

Oh, hello.

Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen. Ed Thorgerson speaking from our radio booth

atop the stadium on the occasion of one of the great gridiron classics of the

year. For when Midwestern and Lombardi clash out here this afternoon, it's

going to be more than a football game, more than a battle for touchdowns. It's

going to be the battle for the future of a grand old man.

It was three years ago that Midwestern forced the resignation of Coach O'Hara

because he was supposed to be too old.

Well, today those Lombardi lads are going out there to prove that Midwestern

was all wrong. And if Lombardi wins, there should be some very red Midwestern

faces.

Hey, never mind getting into a uniform.

Why shouldn't I?

I realize I probably won't get into the game, but I can see a lot better from

the bench.

You're not even sitting on the bench anymore, Hayner.

I wouldn't let you carry a water bucket for me.

But, Coach, I don't know what you're talking about.

Maybe this will refresh your memory.

I tell you, I didn't send that wire.

If I did, do you think I'd be crazy enough to sign my name to it? And why

not? You never made a secret of how you felt about me. Coach, you've got to

believe me. You've got to.

That's right.

What do you mean?

I don't think Hayner sent it. Thanks.

You've got to take a chance on him, coach.

There's no one else to put in the position. He's right.

Let me play, coach.

Not a chance.

Do you think I'd let you go in there today?

I'm not thinking of myself, Hayner. But I'd never trust a man who'd double-cross

his own teammates. What can I do to convince you I didn't send this wire? Of

course he didn't send it. And what makes you so positive?

Oh, Hayner's a fresh guy sometimes, but he's a good sport.

He'd never double-cross.

Midwest is on the... All right, Bob.

I'll give you a chance to show me whether you sent that wire or not.

You're going in.

And I hope you're on the level.

Thanks, Black.

Good luck, Bob.

Both teams line up for the kickoff.

Well, here's startling news.

George Black, that sensational Indian ball packer, will not play.

He's been declared ineligible at the last moment.

That means that Captain Bob Hayner, who has spent most of his season on the

bench, will be in there at quarterback.

Seems like a tough assignment for Hayner trying to fill black shoes, or should I

say moccasins.

Okay, Captain.

The whistle and the kickoff.

Hayner fumbles.

He had that ball, and from here it looks like he should have been away for a nice

game. Seems like Lombardi's going to miss that red-skinned quarterback.

You're going to yank him, aren't you, coach?

Boy, he dropped that ball deliberately.

I'll give him one more chance.

22 reverse lateral on four. You think you can hang on to it? Why don't you let

somebody else carry the ball, Bob?

I said 22 reverse lateral on four.

Hey!

The painter keeps this up Lombardi won't miss black after all.

Come on bear down on this painter guy.

over him now.

It'll be an awful blow to Lombardi if Hayner is pulled out of the game.

It looks as though he's trying to get up.

Exactly

four

minutes left to play in the second quarter of a hard-fought ball game. Both

teams playing great defensive football.

Neither team has gotten very far since Hayner made that sensational 82-yard run

in the opening minute of play.

Lombardi still leads 7-0. The ball is in Midwestern's possession on Lombardi's 38

-yard line, first and 10 to go.

A beautiful 14

-yard game showing that great Midwestern power of deception.

It really begins to look as though Midwestern is turning on the heat.

Party 7, Midwestern 6.

Somebody's uncovered a new star in this man, Hayner.

Boys,

guess where did we get into that game? Get this passing arm, but don't break

it. It's terrific, the punishment the guy's got to take in these games. Yeah,

yeah.

You all right, Hayner?

Sure. I'm colossal.

Thanks for the way you played.

Sure. You men are playing a great game. Keep it up.

Hey, coach. Hey, coach. Wait a minute, coach.

Listen,

coach.

Listen. How about putting us in the start of the second half?

We'll whip over a few touchdowns just like that. You mean like this?

Yeah. Boys, I got a great plan.

Yeah? I'm saving you until next year.

Oh, wait a minute.

Here comes Midwestern back on the field with a great reception from the crowd.

We'll have the lineup in just a minute.

you didn't get in that game today you saved yourself a lot of punishment you

don't play fair why you hit my friend hanner oh yeah suppose i did what about

it lombardi got better chance

now they're about to kick off the second half with hanner still in their

quarterback for lombardi what's this a substitution brett midwestern

quarterback has been taken out of the game I wonder what the strategy of that

is. Coach Burke is taking out his best player.

Five to seven.

They're taking him off the field and it looks like there goes the ball game.

That Midwestern tackle is wrecking us. Yeah, let me go in with Saunders and

Brown. Maybe we can stop that tackle. No, better let the boys stay in there.

All right, Gilks, you go in and take Saunders and Brown with you.

Gilks! Saunders, Brown, Owen, Evan, Eddie out.

Well, here's something strange.

Lombardi's putting in three new men who haven't seen action all day.

Well, anyway, Midwestern better watch him. O'Hara never sends in substitutes

without a reason.

It's crazy. It won't work. It can't be stopped.

What kind of car do you drive? You know I drive a flipper. A flipper. A flipper.

How would you like a Ford?

Okay. Try your play.

What happened?

What's the matter?

A penalty for Lombardi. I didn't catch just what it was for, but we'll know in

a minute.

You know, it's an old football custom, folks, that a sub can't talk to his

teammates until he's been in there for one play.

Is Gilch crazy?

What do you mean, Gilch?

How did they get in there?

You know that board we promised you? Yeah. How would you like a radio in it?

What time?

On that goes the... The Ritz brothers are out.

Substitution's okay?

Sorry. Don't want them.

Substitution refused.

Get off the field!

One! Two!

I'll carry the ball.

Oh, yeah?

I'll carry the ball. I'll take the ball.

and now telling us that we're stalling? Why, you!

What's the matter now? What is it?

Another penalty.

15 yards for insulting the referee.

I caught it! No, you didn't. No, I did not.

Tends to take a joke? Yeah.

We haven't made a play yet, and we're 35 yards near our own goal line. Don't you

think it's about time we start moving the other way? Say, Captain, you know

that board we promised you? The one with the radio?

Yeah. Now, how would you like a horn that goes like this?

Okay,

try your play.

I'm awfully sorry. And I do hope you'll forgive me.

I won't go till you promise to marry me.

Highness, I have told you many times. I am Indian.

Never the blood shall meet.

Well, I think it's time I told you. I'm Indian, too.

They used to call me Little Squire.

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2021