Original subtitles

This is the BBC Home Service.

Here is the news at 9 o'clock.

The unsuccessful evacuation of our armed forces from Dunkirk has resulted in over

a quarter of a million of our troops stranded in occupied France.

The Ministry of Defence has announced that as of this moment, we should expect

a full German invasion of this country over the forthcoming week.

1-0-1.

Stay tight.

You should have a visual any minute.

Listen up, Johnny. It's just you and me now.

Stay close and don't do anything foolish.

Yes, sir, Red Leader.

I'm right behind you. Right.

Let's see how many of these bastards we can take with us.

There they are. The king of country.

Carry on!

Don't be a bloody fool!

There's a crank with a hutch for you! You're a chicken death man!

This is my Johnny, and all the others.

Take that, Fritzie.

Now, I can't.

I'm going down.

We're done for.

It's all over. to you now, the people of England.

Tell my wife I love her very much.

Okay.

I'm going to bring my little barges across the water.

You win again, Herr Goebbels. You stopped me from invading England.

I did, I did.

That makes it 3-0.

But still, this hasn't solved the problem of the invasion.

Oh, hi, boy.

You're looking good. Hello, Goebbels. How you feeling, little failure?

I beat Herr Goering at war.

So, you still can't find a way into England, Goering?

Nein. I have tried everything.

This endless fog.

over the Englander channel has prevented all of our plans for invading England.

Fair now that the whole of the Englander army is stuck in France and the RAF is

annihilated.

The Fuhrer has an ingenious plan of attack.

Oh, what is it, Herr Himmler? I've tried every possible means of attacking that

little island.

He wants us to dig under the Englander channel, right?

into the heart of London, capture Herr Finston Churchill from Downing Street,

then lock him in a cage.

What a beautiful plan, mein Führer.

Did you hear that, Goebbels darling?

We will be summering in London.

Join us, join.

Not even the England of Vedder can prevent us now.

Chris, come on, lad. Tea break's over. Put them big hands to use.

Coming, Tom.

Back to the village for a pie and a pint, I reckon. Right.

Let's get this harvest home.

Ah, another day in God's glorious kingdom.

Morning, Vicar. Good morning, Albert.

Lovely day for it.

Then I attacked the second bunker and destroyed three more tanks before

holding off the German army single-handed.

Only to find I was still stuck in France.

What did you do?

I swam the 20-odd miles of channel back to Dover, whereupon I was presented with

my second Victoria Cross.

Ah!

You're so brave.

Yes, I know.

And handsome.

I suppose I am, rather.

Now, tell me, Reverend, how is that fine young daughter of yours?

She's well, thank you, Captain. A minor hiccup at boarding school in need of a

little direction, I think.

Daisy, come and say hello to Captain English.

Igor? Jawohl, Herr Kapitän.

They are 50 miles from London.

Prepare to test weapons.

Jawohl, Herr Kapitän.

Ah,

a good turnout this year.

And look, there's lovely Daisy.

As charming and as sweet as the first rose in spring.

Daisy, what's she doing back from boarding school so early?

Yes, it is hard juggling one's career between saving England and modeling

Brylcreem and rugby shorts.

Amazing.

Hello,

Daisy. Chris! Oh, my goodness.

Careful. Here, let me get those for you.

Sorry, they're a little bit crushed.

Oh, don't worry, Chris. It's all right.

So, you're a farmer now.

I thought you always wanted to join the army.

No, they said my hands are too big.

They said hands like this is more valuable in a cornfield than in a

battlefield. Oh, you and your big hands.

Always got you into trouble like that time at Sunday school.

So, are you going to be around these parts for a while, then? Oh, it looks

that way.

Father wants me to become a fanny.

You what? A fanny.

First aid nursing yeomanry. We're all young fanny here.

Matron Rutty is our head fanny. Go!

Join my Fanny and see the world!

Daisy? Where the hell are you? Oh, that's Father. I'd better be off. Bye,

Chris. Oh, it was nice seeing you again.

Bye, Daisy.

What were you doing talking to that boy?

It's only Chris, Father. We used to be friends.

Don't be ridiculous, Daisy. The village orphan with those fat, retarded hands.

Ah, take no notice of what they say, lad.

Herr Captain, target sighted. In a small England village.

Excellent. Stand by all stations.

Watch out, there's a whiff of fritz

in the air.

Oh my gosh.

Nazi bomb, look out!

Oh shit.

It's heading for the baby's crown!

Bloody hell!

Shit buckets!

That's blown my chances of marrying off Daisy!

Reverse engines, schnell!

He's a sitting dog!

Action stations!

Here we go, lads!

Tom, get the hay off that car and load up the machine gun!

Let's go hunt some Germans!

Let them have it, girls!

Let's still do nothing against the armor-plating!

These bullets are useless.

We need to get the flat gun working, lad.

Right, Tom.

Get this thing up and running.

I can't. It's stuck.

Right. Let her rip, Albert.

Here we go.

Don't worry.

I'll get the bugger.

You got him, Albert.

We are losing altitude.

We must gain height.

Drop the ballast. It is not good here, Captain.

We are too heavy. We must lose more weight. We cannot let this airplane fall

into enemy hands.

For the fatherland, Hugo!

My jawohl, Herr Kapitän!

Heil Hitler!

I reckon that's the last of the few.

Just like my second marriage.

Hey, what the?

What's this?

Smells like Ruski propaganda.

Shit!

It looks like England just screwed the pooch.

I gotta haul ass to London.

These commies ain't seen the last of Billy Fisk.

with all these politics of war and such like.

I'd much rather spend my time painting landscapes or building a wall.

Nice cul-de-sac for our retirement, eh, Pinky-poo?

Just three more days till me pension.

Morning, Piper, sir.

Ah, thank you.

What's this?

Invasion looms? Hitler will invade today?

Blast! So much for an early retirement.

Hmm? What?

Why, yes, I am.

So you care? He looks like Hitler.

What? Pinkie-poo?

It's not my nonsense.

And what the bloody hell is going on up there?

Who the devil are you?

Josef Kaplinsky, Polish Electrical Services.

I make better telegraph lines for you.

You can't just go putting up new telegraph lines wherever you damn well

please.

This is a listening road man.

I don't know why Hitler bothered with the old Polish lad.

There's a

foreigner

down on the beach. How can you tell, Albert?

He's funny looking.

And he's up to something.

Let's have a look.

It's just a fisherman, Albert.

You can never be too careful these days.

Albert, if the Nazis invade, do you really think they'll do it in a little

boat like that?

Well, I'm going to keep an eye on him.

Keep drilling!

London can't be far now!

How's that foreigner getting on down there, Albert?

He's getting on all right, by the looks of things.

Another cup of tea, Christopher?

No, thanks.

You all right, my lad?

Here, I know what's wrong.

He's all loved up with that vicar's daughter.

Ah, leave it out.

Can't join the army, can't join the navy, can't even get in the blinking

home guard.

Sorry, Chris, but you know the army's rules about hands.

Yeah, fingers too big to fit in the trigger guard.

Now, that's just nonsense.

They're a fine set of paws you've got there, lad. Don't let anybody tell you

no different.

How the hell can I fight a Nazi invasion with a pitchfork and a tractor?

Invasion? Nah, there won't be no invasion, lad. Yeah?

They won't get past us.

There's absolutely nothing we ain't thought of.

What is that noise?

What's that?

What the?

What's this?

Some kind of earthquake?

I say, Puffy, do you hear what I hear?

What the dickens?

Holy Sheen!

Look!

Jason's column! There, in London!

right through the northern line.

They'll be having delays on that for the next hundred years.

Kill them!

Kill them all!

God's teeth!

Don't worry, kid.

I'm an American.

Old Billy Fisk is gonna go get some payback.

Yeah!

into our back entrance.

What?

Retirement should have to wait.

It is time for action.

Sir, no.

Your place is here. We can't risk losing you. You must stay in the bunker.

We have no army left.

Who else is going to defend Downing Street?

We still have Major Rupi and his brave Punjabi guards. I guarantee they will

stand and fight.

Brave men of the Punjab.

We are the last of the remaining empire, the only soldiers England has left.

Their army has surrendered, helpless on the shores of Dunkirk.

So now this honor has been bestowed on us, us, the men of the Raj.

And when the time comes, we will all do our duty for England and protect

Churchill Sahib at all costs.

In the name... Bloody hell, it's Billy Fisk. Well, if it ain't Major Rupi and

his pack of engines.

You mean to tell me that out of the whole bloody Royal Air Force, the only

pilot to survive the Battle of Britain was... An American.

That's right, hot dog.

Morning, boys.

I suppose you have come to pay me that 50 American dollars you owe me? Nope.

While I got shot out of my pants this morning.

Your 50 bucks is somewhere over France now, buddy. I might have known.

That is the last time I play poker with some half-wit, two-bit crop-duster

pilot. Oh, yeah?

Pal, half the Soviet army's around that corner.

You mean German. They're gonna roll their tanks up this street like shit

through a goose. So quit your jabbering and saddle up.

Lock and load, guys.

Make ready, men.

Hey, pal, time to take a hike.

Crazy-ass Polek. Okay, Rube, let's light the candles.

Corporal, light the invasion beacon.

They're on their way.

Yes, Major. Light the beacon.

It's the beacon at Whitehall.

Light the beacon.

What's that?

Behold me.

It's the beacon of Crystal Palace.

Fly the beacon, lads. It's the invasion.

Father, look!

It's the invasion beacon at Maidstone.

They've come!

It's the invasion.

Look!

Light the beacon, Albert!

Back to the village, lads. There ain't much time.

Sacre bleu!

Take up your positions, men!

Come on, you guys!

Get that MG, mo- We got ourselves a war to win.

All right, commie assholes. It's time to hammer down the circle This

is the BBC Home Service

Here is the news at 12 o'clock The German army has invaded London

The German army has invaded London. London?

I don't believe it. Why can't they stay in their own country?

The Prime Minister will now make a speech from the cabinet war rooms in

Downing Street.

My dear countrymen, my dear friends, never in the field

of human conflict was so much buggered up by so few for so many.

What's wrong with him?

Germany calling.

Germany calling.

Hello, England. This is the voice of the Nazis.

The whole of the BBC are now dead.

We have successfully invaded your capital city of London.

We are ready to capture your beloved Prime Minister, Herr Winston Churchill

from Downing Street.

Oh, yeah.

we have a very special message for.

Do not hide.

We will find you. You are as good as captured, fat boy.

No one can escape just the Reich!

That is all I have to say on the matter.

Apart from my elite Punjabi guards, we have absolutely no military defense

whatsoever.

I ask any of you who are in any way able to come to our aid to do so immediately.

We're back.

When I give the order, we should retreat to... Where should we retreat to, Monty?

How the hell should I know?

Retreat to... Retreat to...

Scotland.

The land of the Scots?

Sir! The Scots are hordes of murderous, blood-drinking savages.

Retreat to Scotland.

Head north to Hadrian's Wall.

Good luck, and God save us all.

Scotland?

Hadrian's Wall?

Surrender seems to be our only option. You hear that?

They're talking about surrender.

I've never been to London.

Where is it? Let's go back to the pub.

Father, they're leaving.

Stay and fight.

Be more like the foreigner.

Like who?

The foreigner, him.

That's more boys.

Uzi, found him down on the beach.

Resistance fighter, no doubt.

You'll have no homes left to go back to.

What's wrong with you all?

Chris? Have you forgotten what being English means?

It means being free.

I might just be a simple farm boy, but at least I'm a free simple farm boy.

What does freedom mean to you?

Freedom to grow your own crops and graze livestock.

Think what they'll do to your farms.

Your cows, Farmer Gray. Your pigs, Mr. and Mrs. Sparrow. I've got a favorite.

Think what will happen to your fanny, Matron Rutty. Join me so that in future

years you can proudly say, I fought for England. Now who is with me?

We got no guns. He's right, Christopher.

We used up all our weapons against that Zeppelin.

All right,

you fuckers.

Arm yourselves.

Wow, Chris, when did you get so tough?

I like it. The army won't be able to hold out for long.

We need to get to London.

It's not far. We can make it if we move now.

Don't be bloody ridiculous, boy. How do you prepare as we get there?

On old Betty.

Bastard!

TNT, up the line!

I am coming, Sahib!

Pack as much TNT into the barricades as you can. These firecrackers will bust

their German bottoms right back to Berlin!

All of you fannies go with Tom. Make your way to Hadrian's Wall.

We're heading for London!

Just keep your big hands off my daughter, boy.

It's time to take out the Ruski trash.

You mean not the trash.

I am frightened, Sahib.

Stay close to me.

A lot of people are going to die today.

Coming left flank!

Hold back! Hold back to the second barricade, man!

We must take out the number 10 house. That is where the dumb Churchill is

hiding. Take it out.

You won't have Uber, Crooked Jewel.

Oi, bone-bladed ass.

Churchill's next door.

You miss.

Number 10 house.

Not the number 9 house.

The number 10.

approaching London.

Full steam ahead.

I say.

Fall back, men. I'm going to blow the barricades.

I cannot lift you, sir. You're just too heavy.

Buddy, we got about ten seconds before these barricades pop.

I grew up lifting Redwoods in South Dakota.

No little engine's gonna weigh Billy Fisk down.

I got you, buddy.

Devil, leave a man behind!

Fisk, get out of there!

Oh,

that

was intense, Billy Fisk. Hell, that's what all the gals say.

Everybody, take cover!

You think you use enough dynamite there, buddy?

It does not stop them.

Unless we get through that wall, Mr. Churchill is finished.

Hey, what's that sound?

Oh, they're attacking from both bloody ends.

Holy balls and a buffalo.

We're here to rescue Mr.

Churchill. We're just in the nick of bloody time, too.

Get into the house. Go, go, go.

I hear you, Rupi.

Door breach.

Let's go rescue the pregnant.

Now watch who the devil he is.

Prime Minister, we've come to rescue you, sir.

Billy Fisk, American volunteers.

They brought some crazy-ass war machine to bust you out of here.

Aha!

Finally a chance to face Fritz.

Sir, you'll need a gun.

No problem, Monty.

Yes, sir.

Aha! My little cubbyhole.

Mum's the word, eh, lads? Wife doesn't know.

Shall we, gentlemen?

Follow me!

Move! Move!

We need to get past those tanks. If we stay here, we're trapped like rats in a

barrel.

Eat hot lead, Fritz.

Look what you've done to me wall, you young hooligan.

Sorry, sir.

Daisy, let's go. Come on. Slap your chicken out of here.

Jet on, Winston.

But, President, you've got to get your ass out of here.

There's not enough power.

Get more steam into her. Do something, boy!

Cole, we need to build up the pressure until she hits 150.

Then yank down on the handbrake.

Don't let her hit 160 or she'll blow.

Right, Chris.

So where shall we go now, Herr Glink?

Our new home!

Yoo-hoo!

Forward to Buckingham Palace!

Excuse me, but this happens to be my house.

Take him to the Tower of London!

You fools!

You bloody fools!

Don't you realize I'm three-quarters German?

Our great city has suffered much this day.

Only Nazi scum would stoop so low.

Chris. Oh, morning, Daisy.

Chris, you've been driving all night.

Why didn't you sleep?

I didn't want to waste time.

Aren't you cold? I've got a blanket if you... No, I'm all right. The fire's

still blazing.

It's so calm and peaceful.

You wouldn't think there was a war going on.

Yeah, it's, uh... It's pretty beautiful, isn't it?

You've done so much, Chris.

So much for England.

Wonderful morning the good Lord has brought us a bastard ah

Time for breakfast and a nice cigar I Wonder how major rupee in the

Punjabis got out of London

Yo, idiot!

I got me some new wings!

Race you to Hadrian's Wall!

What is this place?

The remains of the Lost Legion.

In the final years of his rule, Roman Emperor Hadrian sent troops to the outer

borders of England.

They never returned.

This is their tomb.

It's a bloody miracle!

Open the gates, lad!

Open the gates!

It's Chris and Prime Minister Churchill!

Now, that's what I call American spirit.

We have arrived.

It is a great feat of English endurance.

But endurance breeds appetite.

So tonight, we feast.

There certainly is an abundance of young females, eh?

Hey, Roots.

She's looking at you. Oh, she looks dirty.

That in 79.

And there I was, out of ammunition and surrounded.

Fuzzies everywhere.

Oh, such bravery.

Look, everyone's here. It's a miracle we all made it. That's right, Christopher.

Dear, oh, dear, oh, dear, oh, dear, oh, dear. Mr. Churchill.

A lost soul on the eve of battle.

Go and see if he's alright, Dad.

Hello? Mr Churchill?

Hello?

Albert, Albert, look down there. A basket.

What is it, Tom?

Albert, it's a baby.

There, there, young'un. It's all right. Don't cry. Uncle Tom's here. What is

this thing?

It's only a baby, Vicar. We found him in the reeds there.

Ah, that is an immortal child.

Look at the bastard's hands. The sign of Lucifer.

Tie a stone round its neck and cast it back into the river. Rid us of its evil.

I think I'll call him Christopher.

Do as you wish. But be it on your eternal souls, I shall not baptize that

creature. He is one of them.

Them? Them.

Them from the north.

Oh, Mr. Churchill.

Old uniforms, sir. Must be left over from years ago.

Ah, the old 42nd.

They were posted up here under the command of the Duke of Wellington.

See to it that they are distributed amongst the men.

Yes, sir.

Here, Squire, look at my jacket.

That won't fit you.

Hey,

nice uniforms, guys.

Christopher, I must thank you for saving my life.

You would make a fine soldier.

The government don't think so. They reckon my hands are too big.

And, well, they are pretty big.

The government?

I am the government.

And so, from this day on, you are a soldier in His Majesty's forces.

Oh, thank you, sir. Thank you so much. I won't let you down, I promise.

I'm counting on it.

The battle for London is over. The battle for England is about to begin.

Mr. Churchill!

Mr. Churchill! Chris!

Look at the sky!

Aha! Aurora Borealis, the Northern Lights.

Its name comes from the Roman goddess of dawn.

Ancient Norse mythology suggests that the light came from the Valkyries riding

through the sky, collecting the dead from the battlefield.

But it's little more than an atmospheric phenomenon.

Though rather spectacular, I must say.

Isn't it beautiful, Chris?

Yes, it is.

But tonight is not the night for you two to be listening to the ramblings of an

old man.

Shall we go somewhere else?

You know, I've always loved you, Daisy.

Oh, my gosh.

Ho, ho, ho.

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

We brought Christmas early.

Ha, ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

London is ours.

You're full.

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

Oh, oh, oh, yeah.

It's me!

Heil Hitler!

What do you think?

Lovely fabric, isn't it? Feel it, feel it.

You look fabulous, meine Führer. I'm so sorry if we'd only known of your

arrival. Oh, you didn't think I would miss this, did you? A fancy dress party

in the palace of Buckingham.

Now tell me, Mr. Himmler, what have you all been up to?

Well, meine Führer, since you have been in Paris, a most excellent

accomplishment has been achieved.

Up until recently, meine Führer, the England Underground was a complete and

utter shambles. More like a spaghetti than a functional railway, mein Führer.

This better be going somewhere.

I got an early flight from Versailles for this.

You're going to love this.

Ta-da!

We have brought efficiency to the London Underground!

I may have the body of a weak and feeble Nazi, but I do have a really big luger.

We did not conquer this backward country in order to bring it culture and

discipline. We came to capture Herr Winston Churchill.

So why is that cage empty?

You let Churchill get away?

Or will the incompetent idiotic mobilize the army north?

Send them into damn Scotland if you have to!

Ah, yes, of course.

Of course. That must be fair. They are hiding the land of the Scots.

They know we would never try to attack in fear of what lies beyond that Great

Hadrian's Wall.

Scotland, my mariner-fuhrer? But what are these stories?

Not even the Romans went beyond the Great Hadrian's Wall. Who knows what

evil lies up there? Enough!

You will attack Scotland and capture Herr Winston Churchill.

Immediately!

I love you, Hans.

Stone-bleeding crows!

Awake, man-slobs! We have a war to win!

It was a damn fine evening.

Stand to men.

Eyes front.

Straighten up that line.

Good morning, Rupi.

Ah, Churchill's side.

Your men look magnificent.

Thank you, sir. All men present, correct, and uniforms fitting perfectly.

Morning, Prime Minister.

And a good morning to you, too.

And a fine Highland morning it is, too, sir.

Now, Rupi.

How are things shaping up?

Ah, well, sir, every farmer in England is here.

I bring my lads from Whitby, North Yorkshire.

The men from Broad Oak Herefordshire are ready, Prime Minister.

The fourth-rate Cumberland boys.

Hurray! Spin it, spin it.

It's not much, but they have a great heart. The finest of our English

agriculture. The sword of our earth.

Just as Cromwell looked upon his new model army at the field of Naseby in

1645, eh, Ruby?

Uh, yes, sir. We also have an air force.

Billy Fisk has rustled up a biplane and is giving basic flying lessons now.

All right, hot dog. Listen up, because I'm only going to tell you this once

more. You press that to start the engine. You press that to fire your

guns. Engines, guns, ride.

Okay.

Now take her up and show me what you got. Yeah, right.

Okay. Third time lucky.

Here we go.

And where the blazers do you think you have been?

Father, I can explain. No need to explain, young lady. I understand

perfectly. If you think that being in Scotland is a license to get your fat

hands on my daughter, you've got another thing coming, boy.

Looks like he might need a couple more lessons, sir.

Shit.

You stupid bastard!

Looks like I'm your air cover, Mr. President.

Ain't no way I can teach these douchebags how to fly.

Dear, oh dear, oh dear. Mr. Churchill, the scouts have just returned, sir.

Reports are of Nazis, thousands of them coming from the south.

So, it begins.

We found this in the cave, sir.

And we managed to salvage these. All flintlock muskets. Exactly one gun per

man. Splendid.

Let us prepare for battle.

Ready, aim, fire!

Excellent.

Straighten up that line.

Yo, Roopy Doopy.

Never thought I'd see red engines this far from home. And you tell me, Fisky.

Whisky, why did you travel 5,000 miles to fight a war that the English ought to

be fighting for themselves?

Hey, look who's talking, pal.

Good point.

This is our last line of defense.

We will hold them from this wall for as long as possible.

Gestalt, Tom, Albert, artillery.

Yes, sir.

Ruttie. Prime Minister. You and Daisy are in command of your fanny.

Splendid. Rupee.

Yes, sir. You remain in command of your men. Thank you, sir.

Fisk, you're our air force. You got it, Mr. President.

Now, Christopher.

Two days ago, I was an old man ready for retirement.

I'd given up on the world, but you rescued me from the boredom and

restraint of politics and gave me the chance for one more fight.

Now, I'm asking you to help us again.

Head north into uncharted territory, find whatever is out there, and bring

them back here to aid us in our struggle for victory.

I am asking you this as a soldier. As a soldier?

I accept, Mr. Churchill. Good man.

I cannot underestimate the importance of your success.

The future of our civilization and my pension now rests with you.

You must not fail.

Yes, sir.

Now then, Mr.

Hitler knows that he will have to break us on this wall or lose the war.

Let us, therefore, brace ourselves to our duties and do what our friend from

the United States would and kick some butt!

What's your name,

Mr. President? Bravo!

This may be the last time we ever see each other. Don't say that.

Mr. Churchill wouldn't have picked you unless he believed in you.

England believes in you, Chris.

And... I believe in you.

You take care of yourself.

Take this shotgun.

It might be dangerous out there.

I'll see you when I get back.

I love you, Chris.

I love you.

That's funny. Sounds like... like a train.

Bloody hell.

Sheesh.

Communists. For the last time, Billy Fisk, these are not communists.

Yeah? That's what they want you to think.

The...

Uh-oh.

The thin red line of heroes.

Oh, I'm so frightened.

Hey, Rupi.

Here's that 50 bucks I owe you. Ah, very decent of you, old friend. Just thought

I'd square up with the house, you know.

Shame you won't get a chance to spend it.

I'm waiting for you, you son of a Nazi whore! Father! Come and fight me!

My God, against yours.

Sorry, sir. He must have found his way back to the bottle.

Good man.

Sausage eating wankers!

Let us take example from the church.

Double the ale ration.

Two pints per man.

Sir, double the ale ration. Two pints per man.

Come on, lads. Drink her right down.

GENIUS!

you little prick.

Burn!

In the fires of Beelzebub!

What is this?

Foul play.

Fear not. We shall hold off the attack until dawn.

Send Heidi and Helga.

will lead to attack.

Hello girls!

Gates reinforced now, Prime Minister.

We are now truly subject to mother nature.

Bloody English weather.

You know, Daisy, I usually do not approve of men. But that boy,

Christopher, will make a first-rate husband.

I hope I see him again.

Who's there?

It is I, the chief of this clan.

Who are you?

My name is Chris.

Chris, is it?

Are you an assassin, Chris?

No, I'm a soldier from England.

A soldier from England, is it?

And what did they tell you in England?

That we are complete savages?

There are some that think that.

But I have heard a different tale.

The tale of a great Scottish hero who defended Scotland all on his own. The

tale of Braveheart.

Back then, the English king was evil. He threw people out of castle windows.

I see.

Everybody loved Braveheart, even though there were rumors that he were actually

an Australian.

Interesting.

But in the end, he almost beat the English.

Do you know this tale?

Aye, laddie. I know this tale.

I know this tale because... I am...

You what?

And you, you, Chris, are a Scotsman. Uh, no, I'm not.

You are?

No, really, I am from Kent.

Ha! Kent?

Just look at those great hands.

That's a Mark of Harlander if ever I saw one. Braveheart, we need your help.

We need your help and your lethal weapons.

Would that be lethal weapon one, two, three, or four?

Will you join us in the fight for freedom? Aye, but first there's

something we must do

They're up to something.

They're definitely up to something.

Bring me Churchill's head on a plate.

Jawohl, Herr Himmler.

But in the game, it's like the fall of hell has awoken. Shit on a stick.

Artillery!

It's a bloody bank of five Bavarian banshee bitches!

Get ready to sound the retreat.

Yes, sir.

Sound the general retreat.

Sound the general retreat.

I retreat for no man.

Come on.

I need someone to jump the propeller give me some cover

We're out of ammunition.

This is it.

Well, well, it looks like we have one.

Looks like poor Chris did not make it. I think this is the end.

I am now ready to meet my maker.

We fought bravely. We fought.

Like Englishmen.

Well, come on then, damn it.

What are you waiting for?

Christopher, you made it, lad.

He's done it.

The boy's done it. He's brought us back an army.

So the stories were true.

Men in skirts.

The boss was one of them.

Russian Nazi assholes.

It's just you and me now.

Hey, boy!

I'm back!

The day is ours gentlemen and ladies the day is ours

Christopher this is your victory

me out of this godforsaken country.

Drive! Drive!

Into the tunnel! Now! Now!

We

did

it, Daisy.

Yeah! We won the parade!

Those big hands are going to make me the happiest woman in England.

Ah, looks like the hen has found her cock.

You stupid bitch!

Watch your back!

Calvary coming through!

Fisk! You're alive!

Billy Fisk never dies.

Hey, where's that Frenchie gone?

Hello!

I do love this car.

Son of a...

coming through.

Aha!

Finally, me pension has arrived.

Hmm. A nice, peaceful retirement, hmm?

If they think they can get rid of me that easily, they've got another thing

coming! Now England and their empire shall last a thousand years!

Then again, maybe not close enough for me

What have you done

English castle!

England is ours!

Long

live

the Scottish Empire!

Amen.