Original subtitles

♪

>> Announcer: START THE CLOCK.

♪

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

>> Bill: ALL RIGHT.

HOW ARE YOU DOING DOWN THERE?

ALL RIGHT.

THANK YOU SO MUCH.

ALL RIGHT.

OH, THANK YOU.

OKAY.

WELL, EASY NOW.

ALL RIGHT.

CALM DOWN.

PEOPLE.

CALM DOWN BECAUSE YOU MAY NOT

GET HOME.

ACTUALLY, ACTUALLY BREAKING NEWS

BECAUSE IT'S FRIDAY.

DID YOU SEE THEY GROUNDED ALL

THE PLANES IN AMERICA?

ALL THE PLANES.

HOPE YOU'RE STAYING FOR THE

WEEKEND.

THEY SAY IT'S NOTHING NEFARIOUS.

I DON'T BELIEVE THEM.

I MEAN, THIS COULD BE A HACK

FROM CHINA.

IT COULD BE A HACK FROM IRAN.

IT COULD BE A HACK FROM AI

ITSELF.

IT COULD BE SELMA BLAIR.

WE JUST DON'T KNOW.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

BUT I'M ON THE SKEPTICAL SIDE OF

THIS.

IT'S FUNNY.

ALL THE JUICY STUFF HAPPENS

RIGHT AT THE END OF THE SEASON.

NEXT WEEK IS OUR LAST SHOW THIS

SEASON.

I THINK YOU CAN BE A LITTLE

SADDER THAN THAT ABOUT IT.

PATHETIC.

ALL RIGHT.

ANYWAY.

ALL RIGHT, BUT WE HAVE THE

SCANDAL GOING ON THAT REALLY

DWARFS ALL THE OTHER SCANDALS

WE'VE EVER HAD WITH THE TRUMP

ADMINISTRATION.

I'M SURE YOU'RE SEEING ALL THE

NEWS.

JENSEN HUANG, HE IS THE CEO OF

NVIDIA.

HE'S BEEN HAVING AN AFFAIR WITH

SOMEONE WHO IS A LIKELY SPY FOR

COMMUNIST CHINA.

IT'S NOT CONFIRMED, BUT ONE BIG

RED FLAG WAS SHE HAD AN ACTUAL

BIG RED FLAG.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

IT'S-- IT'S ALL VERY CONFUSING.

HIS NAME IS HUANG, HER NAME IS

HUANG.

THE WHOLE THING IS HUANG.

IT'S ALL VERY CONFUSING.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

IT MADE FOR SOME AWKWARD MOMENTS

DURING SEX LIKE WHEN HE SAID

WHO'S YOUR DADDY AND SHE SAID

AIN'T IT YOU?

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

NO.

I KID.

NO, IT'S JUST-- THE NAME THING

IS A COINCIDENCE.

IT COULD HAPPEN TO ANY ONE.

ILHAN OMAR SAID TELL ME ABOUT

IT, I ACCIDENTALLY MARRIED MY

BROTHER.

I MEAN, YOU KNOW.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

BUT NOW, JENSEN HUANG HAS

RESIGNED BECAUSE IT CAME OUT

THAT HE WAS ALSO HAVING AN

AFFAIR WITH AN EXECUTIVE AT HIS

COMPANY, A WHITE WOMAN NAMED

KIMBERLY, BECAUSE WHO WANTS

CHINESE EVERY NIGHT?

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

AND NOW HUANG'S WIFE IS WOUNDED.

SHE IS PISSED, SHE WAS WRONGED,

SHE IS WOUNDED.

SHE'S LIKE ONE WOMAN WAS BAD

ENOUGH.

WHEN SHE HEARD ABOUT THIS OTHER

WOMAN, ALL THE BLACK LEATHER

JACKETS OUT ON THE FRONT LAWN.

AND THEN-- AND THEN A DAY LATER

WE FIND OUT THERE IS A THIRD

MISTRESS.

YOU THOUGHT HIS CHIPS WERE IN

EVERYTHING.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

WOW.

SO NOW, NOW THE FIRST MISTRESS

THE CHINESE SPY LADY, SHE'S

PISSED BECAUSE SHE HAD A

STRICT POLICY OF NO

SUBSTITUTIONS.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

TERRIBLE, TERRIBLE.

BUT YOU KNOW.

FUNNY, FUNNY, FUNNY.

YOU REALIZE HOW IMPORTANT THIS

IS BECAUSE AI HAS BEEN WHAT'S

PROPPING UP OUR ECONOMY AND IT

IS THIS GUY'S CHIPS THAT HAVE

BEEN PROPPING UP AI.

SO NATURALLY TRUMP'S RESPONSE IS

"NOTHING TO SEE.

NOTHING TO SEE HERE."

I MEAN, HE KNEW.

TRUMP WAS TOLD.

HE KNEW FOR A LONG TIME THAT

THIS GUY WAS HAVING AN AFFAIR.

HE JUST HAD, WELL, I ASSUMED HE

WAS AN HONORABLE MAN AND ASSUMED

IT WAS A PORN STAR.

HE'S NOT THE ONLY ONE DEFENDING

JENSEN HUANG.

ELON MUSK HAS BEEN DEFENDING HIM

AND SAYS THEY MIGHT WORK

TOGETHER.

HE WANTS TO HIRE HIM.

I THINK THAT COULD BE A GOOD

PAIRING.

ONE WANTS TO EXPLORE MARS AND

ONE WANTS TO EXPLORE URANUS.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

I TELL YOU.

THESE CHINESE ARE NOT FUCKING

AROUND WITH THIS SPY STUFF.

"THE NEW YORK TIMES" DID A BIG

EXPOSE ABOUT IT YESTERDAY.

THIS PROGRAM, WE SAW OUT HERE.

REMEMBER ERIC SWALWELL?

WITH FENG-FENG?

OKAY.

IT'S A VAST PROGRAM.

THEY'LL GO AFTER ANYBODY IN

POLITICS AND MEDIA.

[LAUGHTER]

I'M A LITTLE PARANOID.

I WAS AT PANDA EXPRESS THE OTHER

NIGHT.

AND MY FORTUNE COOKIE JUST SAID

"HI, BILL."

BUT LISTEN.

I'VE GOT TO GIVE TRUMP CREDIT

FOR ONE THING.

I TALKED TO HIM TWICE.

ONCE WHEN I WAS AT THE WHITE

HOUSE.

THAT ENDED BADLY BOTH TIMES.

ABOUT DEPORTATION BEING TOO

TOUGH.

HE WENT ON "60 MINUTES" LAST

WEEK DID YOU SEE THAT?

HE SAID THE DEPORTATION TACTICS

WERE TOO TOUGH.

HE SAID WHEN YOU GO INTO A HOTEL

AND THERE'S A WOMAN THERE, A

MAID, A CLEANER, A WAITRESS, AND

ALL OF A SUDDEN SHE'S TAKING OUT

THAT'S A TOUGH THING.

HE MEANT FOR THE HOTEL BUT

STILL.

I THINK IT'S PROGRESS.

PROGRESS.

BUT HE'S BACK TO BEING HIMSELF

BECAUSE AFTER THE ELECTION HE

WAS LIKE CONGRATULATIONS,

DEMOCRATS.

NOW HE'S BACK TO NO, IT WAS

RIGGED.

THE ELECTION WAS RIGGED.

HE'S ESPECIALLY SUSPICIOUS OF

THE BLUE STATES.

YOU KNOW, LIKE TEXAS AND

MISSISSIPPI.

YES.

MISSISSIPPI HAS THE FIRST BLACK

SENATOR SINCE RECONSTRUCTION AND

DEMOCRATS.

DEMOCRATS NOW HAVE 55 SEATS IN

THE SENATE.

IT LOOKS LIKE THEY'LL ALSO GET

ALASKA.

THEY'RE STILL COUNTING UP THERE

BUT IT LOOKS GOOD FOR THE

DEMOCRATS AND THERE ARE SOME

PEOPLE WHO ARE CALLING ALASKA

THE CALIFORNIA OF THE NORTH.

LET'S NOT GET TOO EXCITED.

WE ARE STILL QUITE DIFFERENT.

IN ALASKA WOMEN'S FACES LOOK

FROZEN BECAUSE THEY ARE.

ALL RIGHT.

OKAY, WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW,

AARON PARNAS AND DASHA BURNS ARE

HERE, BUT FIRST...

SHE'S THE 47TH GOVERNOR OF

ARKANSAS WHOSE NEW BOOK IS

CALLED "UNAPOLOGETIC: CLARITY

AND CONVICTION IN A WORLD GONE

CRAZY": GOVERNOR

SARAH HUCKABEE SANDERS.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

HEY, HOW ARE YOU?

GREAT TO MEET YOU.

>> GOOD TO SEE YOU.

>> Bill: THANK YOU.

OKAY, WELCOME ABOARD.

I HEAR THIS IS NOT YOUR FIRST

TIME AT OUR STUDIO, THAT YOU

WERE HERE AS A CHILD.

>> I WAS.

>> Bill: REALLY, WITH YOUR

FATHER WHEN HE WAS A GUEST ON

THE SHOW?

>> AS I'M SITTING HERE LISTENING

TO YOUR MONOLOGUE KNOWING MY

14-YEAR-OLD DAUGHTER IS HERE,

I'M WONDERING ABOUT BOTH OF OUR

PARENTING DECISIONS.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

>> Bill: I'M FAIR.

I'M FAIR.

I GAVE HIM CREDIT TONIGHT.

SEE, THAT'S WHAT HE ALWAYS HATES

ABOUT ME.

>> HE ACTUALLY REALLY LIKES YOU.

>> Bill: WE HAVE A GREAT TIME

IN PERSON.

AND THEN THE HEARTACHES BEGIN.

BUT OKAY, I'VE GOT TO DO MY JOB

BUT LOOK.

YOU DID VERY WELL IN THE BLUE

WAVE.

YOU WON THE GOVERNORSHIP AGAIN

OF ARKANSAS BY 15 POINTS.

[APPLAUSE]

PEOPLE ARE VERY NICE HERE.

SO WHY DO YOU THINK YOU DID SO

WELL IN A YEAR THAT WAS SO BAD

FOR YOUR PARTY?

>> OBVIOUSLY IT'S BECAUSE I WAS

COMING ON YOUR SHOW.

OTHERWISE IT COULD HAVE BEEN

AWKWARD IF I HAD TO SIT HERE A

WEEK LATER.

IN REALITY, I THINK THERE ARE A

FEW THINGS.

ONE, WE FOCUSED ON ISSUES OVER

THE LAST FOUR YEARS OF THINGS

THAT REALLY IMPACTED THE

DAY-TO-DAY LIFE OF THE PEOPLE

THAT WE WERE ELECTED TO SERVE.

I MADE NO SECRET COMING IN THAT

EDUCATION WAS GOING TO BE A TOP

PRIORITY AND WE HAVE

LEGITIMATELY TRANSFORMED

EDUCATION IN THE STATE OF

ARKANSAS GOING FROM BEING

CONTINUALLY RANKED AT THE VERY

BOTTOM AND LAST TO LEADING THE

NATION IN TERMS OF TEACHER PAY,

LARGEST INVESTMENT IN PUBLIC

EDUCATION, AT THE SAME TIME

OPENING UP UNIVERSAL SCHOOL

CHOICE FOR EVERY SINGLE STUDENT,

DEPLOYING LITERACY COACHES.

WE'VE MADE A MASSIVE CULTURAL

SHIFT, AND FAMILIES ARE FEELING

THE IMPACT OF THAT WHEN THEY'RE

AT THEIR HOMES.

>> Bill: YOU'RE THE ONLY

SOUTHERN STATE THAT DID THAT.

THE STATES THAT HAVE DONE WELL

LATELY IN EDUCATION ARE THE ONES

WHERE THE TEACHERS UNION IS LESS

POWERFUL.

>> IT CERTAINLY HELPS.

IT ALSO HELPED THAT WE HAD

NO PLACE TO GO BUT UP.

WE MADE SIGNIFICANT PROGRESS ON

THAT FRONT, BUT YOU HAVE SEEN A

LOT OF THE SOUTHERN REPUBLICAN

STATES START TO FOCUS ON

EDUCATION, MAKE IT A BIG

PRIORITY, AND I THINK FOR A LONG

TIME IT WAS A MISTAKE THAT

CONSERVATIVES WERE ALLOWING THE

LEFT TO OWN THAT ISSUE.

AND WE HAVE TAKEN IT BACK AND

MADE REAL CHANGES AND WE ARE

SEEING SIGNIFICANT PROGRESS.

LAST YEAR ALONE ARKANSAS STUDENT

TEST SCORES WENT UP 20% IN EVERY

SINGLE GRADE.

>> Bill: AND TEACHER PAY.

[APPLAUSE]

EVERYBODY, THE KIDS ALL GOT

BREAKFAST NOW.

>> WE ARE ONE OF THE ONLY STATES

IN THE SOUTH THAT HAS FREE

BREAKFAST FOR EVERY SINGLE

STUDENT IN PUBLIC SCHOOL.

WE KNOW THAT IF A KID IS

STARTING OUT HUNGRY--

[APPLAUSE]

I KNOW IT'S A BIG BIPARTISAN

EFFORT.

THAT WAS REPUBLICANS AND

DEMOCRATS WORKING TOGETHER.

YOU KNOW THAT IF A KID IS

SITTING IN THE CLASSROOM HUNGRY,

THERE'S NO WAY THEY'RE LEARNING

MATH AND SCIENCE AND READING.

AND SO IT'S MADE A BIG

DIFFERENCE AND A BIG HELP TO OUR

KIDS.

>> Bill: HOW COME IT'S ONLY

SOCIALISM WHEN THEY DO IT?

YOU KNOW?

BECAUSE I MEAN, I AGREE.

I'VE ALWAYS AGREED, I THOUGHT

THAT WAS THE CASE.

>> THERE'S A BIG DIFFERENCE

BETWEEN GIVING EVERYTHING AWAY

FOR FREE AND HELPING KIDS START

OUT ON THE RIGHT FOOT.

I DON'T KNOW I WOULD SAY THOSE

ARE THE SAME THINGS.

>> Bill: I READ ABOUT YOUR

POLICIES.

WHAT I WOULD CALL SMART WORKABLE

COMMON SENSE POLICIES WHICH

SEEMS TO BE SO AT VARIANCE WITH

-- I CAN SEE THE LOOK IN YOUR

EYE, YOU KNOW WHAT I'M GOING TO

SAY.

WITH YOUR DEVOTION TO TRUMP.

LIKE, AGAIN, I THINK I'M VERY

FAIR TO HIM.

I GIVE HIM CREDIT.

HE DID HAVE SOME IDEAS ABOUT

FIXING THINGS-- A LOT OF STUFF

NEEDED FIXING.

BUT SMART, WORKABLE POLICIES

ISN'T REALLY WHERE MOST OF IT

WENT.

YOU KNOW?

CLOSING THE BORDER, EVERYBODY

LIKED THAT.

>> AND IT NEEDED TO HAPPEN.

>> Bill: AND IT NEEDED TO

HAPPEN.

BUT WE DIDN'T NEED TO SHOOT

PEOPLE IN THEIR CARS.

I SAID THAT TO HIM.

WHEN I WAS THERE.

I SAID WHY--

[APPLAUSE]

>> AND I THINK YOU MADE THAT

POINT.

HE'S EVEN ACKNOWLEDGED WITH THE

LAST WEEK THAT THE POLICIES WENT

TOO FAR AND WE HAVE TO GO BACK

TO A MORE TARGETED, SPECIFIC

APPROACH ON VIOLENT CRIMINAL

ILLEGALS AND THAT'S WHAT HE

PLANS TO DO IN THESE NEXT TWO

YEARS.

>> Bill: WELL, IT'S A LITTLE

LATE, BUT OKAY,--

>> IT'S NEVER TOO LATE.

NEVER TOO LATE.

TO DO THE RIGHT THING.

>> Bill: BUT YOU KNOW

MEDICAID, YOU INCREASE THAT, HE

CUT IT.

IT SEEMS LIKE YOU, POLICY WISE,

YOU DIVERGE FROM HIM BUT YOU'LL

NEVER SAY A BAD WORD OR LEAVE

ANY DAYLIGHT BETWEEN YOU AND

WHAT HE DOES WHICH IS VERY

OFTEN DIFFERENT THAN WHAT YOU DO

AS GOVERNOR.

>> I THINK IN MANY CASES OUR

POLICIES ARE ALIGNED, BUT EVEN

MY OWN DAD WHO I WORKED FOR, I

SUPPORTED.

I THINK HE'S ONE OF THE

GREATEST--

>> NOW AMBASSADOR TO ISRAEL.

>> HE IS AND I THINK HE'S SO

UNIQUELY QUALIFIED FOR THAT

POSITION AND DOING AN AMAZING

JOB.

BUT EVEN MY OWN DAD I DISAGREE

WITH.

I LEARNED A LOT FROM EACH OF

THOSE INDIVIDUALS AND THEY'VE

GIVEN ME OPPORTUNITY TO.

I WOULD NOT BE SITTING IN THIS

SEAT ON YOUR SHOW IF THE

PRESIDENT HADN'T TAKEN A CHANCE

ON ME AND HAD THE CONFIDENCE IN

ME TO STAND UP IN FRONT OF THE

AMERICAN PEOPLE AND DELIVER HIS

MESSAGE AND HIS VISION.

IN THAT JOB, NO ONE HAD ELECTED

ME TO ANYTHING.

I WAS NOT THERE TO SHARE MY OWN

OPINIONS OR TO SHARE MY PERSONAL

BELIEFS.

I WAS THERE TO COMMUNICATE ON

BEHALF OF THE PRESIDENT.

>> Bill: RIGHT, AND I HAD YOUR

SUCCESSOR HERE RECENTLY, AND

THAT WAS EXACTLY HER ANSWER.

HE TOOK A CHANCE ON ME UNTIL I

GO ALONG WITH EVERYTHING.

>> THAT'S NOT EXACTLY WHAT I

THINK WHAT SHE SAID OR WHAT I

SAID.

>> Bill: IT'S KIND OF LOYALTY TO

A PERSON AS OPPOSED TO

PRINCIPLE.

I THINK THAT'S WHERE WE DIVERGE

A LITTLE BIT.

>> I DON'T THINK THAT'S FAIR

BECAUSE WHO I AM AT MY CORE ARE

MY OWN PERSONAL PRINCIPLES.

NOT JUST MY POLICY BUT

EVERYTHING THAT I DO I'M A

PERSON OF DEEP FAITH.

THAT'S THE MAIN PREMISE OF THE

BOOK THAT I WROTE.

IT'S UNAPOLOGETIC AND WHO I AM

AND WHAT I BELIEVE.

THAT DOESN'T MEAN I HAVE A BLIND

LOYALTY, BUT I CERTAINLY SUPPORT

AND APPRECIATE A PRESIDENT WHO

GAVE ME AN OPPORTUNITY AND WHO I

THINK IS DOING A GOOD JOB.

WHO'S DOING A INFINITELY BETTER

JOB THAN JOE BIDEN WHO I THINK

WAS TERRIBLE FOR OUR COUNTRY.

AND I THINK HE'S DONE A MUCH

BETTER JOB THAN HILLARY CLINTON

WOULD HAVE DONE IF SHE HAD WON.

I WANTED TO SEE SOMEBODY WHO

WOULD TAKE ON BIG INSTITUTIONS,

WHO WOULD TAKE FIGHTS ON THAT

NOBODY ELSE WAS WILLING TO DO.

DONALD TRUMP HAS DONE THAT.

DOES THAT MEAN I AGREE WITH

EVERYTHING.

NO.

DOES THAT MEAN I THINK HE DOES

EVERYTHING RIGHT.

NO.

NEITHER DO I.

WE ARE ALL HUMAN, WE ARE ALL

GOING TO MESS THINGS UP, BUT I

THINK HE LOVES OUR COUNTRY AND

WANTS TO SEE IT SUCCEED AND

IS WILLING TO FIGHT TO DELIVER

ON THAT.

IS IT ALWAYS GOING TO BE

PERFECT?

NO.

BUT I'M GOING TO CONTINUE TO

SUPPORT SOMEBODY--

>> Bill: I'LL GIVE YOU MY

LITMUS TEST FOR THE NEXT

ELECTION REALLY BECAUSE I HAD

THE VICE PRESIDENT HERE AND I

SAID YOU KNOW WHAT?

IF THE DEMOCRATS KEEP GOING DOWN

THE ROAD OF COMMUNISM, NOT

SOCIALISM, WHATEVER THIS IS,

COMMUNISM.

I KNOW WHAT IT IS.

I WENT TO COLLEGE.

>> IF ONLY THEY WERE STILL

TEACHING THAT IN COLLEGES NOW.

>> Bill: EXACTLY.

WHAT IT IS.

JEW HATING.

MY VOTES IN PLAY.

MY VOTE IS NOT IN PLAY IS IF

REPUBLICANS CONTINUE DOWN THE

ROAD NOT CONCEDING ELECTIONS.

[APPLAUSE]

AND THAT'S WHERE, YOU KNOW, YOU

CAN NEVER GET THE PRESIDENT ON

YOUR SIDE, OR MY SIDE ON THIS.

HE WILL NOT CONCEDE EVEN THE

ONE.

>> DO YOU FEEL THAT WAY WHEN THE

DEMOCRATS DON'T CONCEDE YOU

REMEMBER IN 2016 THAT BEING THE

CASE?

I DON'T DISAGREE.

>> Bill: OH, GOD.

>> BUT ONCE IT'S OVER, IT'S

OVER?

>> Bill: OH, GOD, I'M GETTING

FLASHBACKS TO WHEN YOU WERE THE

PRESS SECRETARY NOW.

IT WASN'T ON THE SAME LEVEL.

IT REALLY WASN'T.

YOU THINK IT'S THE SAME THING?

>> I'M NOT SAYING IT'S THE SAME

BUT IT SEEMS LIKE YOU ONLY CARE

IF IT'S WHAT HE DOES--

>> Bill: I CARE WHAT ANYBODY

DOES IT, BUT IT'S A FALSE

EQUIVALENCY.

AND HE STILL HAS NOT CONCEDED

THE 2020 ELECTION WHICH HE LOST

RIGHT?

>> I MEAN, HE DID NOT ASSUME

THAT OFFICE.

I'LL GIVE YOU THAT.

>> Bill: AND THIS IS WHERE WE

ARE, FOLKS.

THIS IS WHERE WE ARE.

[APPLAUSE]

ONE LAST QUESTION.

THIS IS FROM YOUR BOOK.

YOU SAY MY FAITH ISN'T JUST

INFLUENCED ME, IT DEFINES ME.

MY NEW BOOK IS ABOUT HOW OUR

IDENTITY IN CHRIST AND CHRIST

ALONE IS THE ONLY FIRM

FOUNDATION FOR OUR FUTURE.

YOU KNOW, I DON'T SHARE--

THERE'S MANY OF THESE BUT I

THINK IT'S EVERYBODY'S RIGHT TO

BELIEVE WHAT THEY WANT TO

BELIEVE.

MY QUESTION IS WHAT IF WE HAVE A

SENATOR COMING IN, EL-SAYED,

-- I'M NOT A BIG SUPPORTER,

WE'LL SEE WHAT HE DOES.

WHAT WOULD HE SAY IF MY FAITH

DOESN'T JUST INFLUENCE ME, IT

DEFINES ME.

MY BOOK IS ABOUT IDENTITY IN

MUHAMMAD AND ALLAH ALONE.

IS THE ONLY FIRM FOUNDATION.

WOULD THAT BE JUST AS GOOD?

>> NOT TO ME PERSONALLY, NO,

BECAUSE I'M A BELIEVER THAT

THERE'S ONLY ONE GOD AND THAT HE

SENT HIS SON TO DIE ON THE CROSS

TO SAVE US FROM OUR SINS.

I BELIEVE WE ARE ALL SINNERS.

THAT WE LIVE IN A FALLEN BROKEN

WORLD AND THE ONLY WAY TO HAVE A

LASTING, FULFILLING PEACE IS IN

A RELATIONSHIP WITH JESUS CHRIST

AND BELIEVING IN OUR CREATOR.

HE CERTAINLY IS ENTITLED TO HIS

OPINION, BUT I DON'T HAVE TO

AGREE WITH HIM.

>> Bill: BUT NO IN GOVERNMENT.

AND IT WORRIES ME WHEN SOMEBODY

SAYS MY FOUNDATION IS THIS

BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE THE

FOUNDATION SHOULD BE THE

CONSTITUTION AND THEN THE

PERSONAL OPINION IS FINE

WHATEVER YOU WANT TO BELIEVE.

>> I THINK YOU NEED TO HAVE CORE

CONVICTION BECAUSE WHEN IT COMES

TO POLICY YOU'RE GOING TO HEAR

REPUBLICANS ARE ALWAYS GOING TO

SAY I WANT LOWER TAXES, LESS

REGULATION, WE SHOULD DO XY AND

Z, BUT WHO ARE THEY AT THEIR

CORE?

WHEN DECISIONS COME TO THEIR

DESK THAT THEY HAVE NOT PLANNED

FOR, THAT ARE NOT WRITTEN

POLICY, DON'T YOU WANT TO KNOW

WHAT THEY BELIEVE, WHY THEY

BELIEVE IT, WHAT DRIVES THEM AND

WAKES THEM UP IN THE MORNING AND

MOTIVATES THEM AND GIVE THEIR

LIFE PURPOSE?

FOR ME IT IS KNOWING THAT I HAVE

A CREATOR WHO HAS GIVEN MY LIFE

THAT PURPOSE.

I THINK THAT SOMEBODY WHO HAS A

DIFFERENT BELIEF SYSTEM IS

CERTAINLY ENTITLED TO IT, BUT

THAT'S GOING TO DRIVE THE

DECISIONS THEY MAKE.

THAT'S GOING TO INFLUENCE THE

DECISIONS THEY MAKE AND THAT'S

AN IDEOLOGY THAT I DISAGREE

WITH.

THAT'S THE DIFFERENCE.

>> Bill: THEY'RE GOING TO COME

AFTER YOU TO RUN FOR PRESIDENT

NOW YOU'VE DONE SO WELL RUNNING.

>> I'M JUST GLAD I HAVE A JOB

THIS WEEK AFTER THE RED WAVE DID

NOT QUITE GO AS HOPED IN THE

REST OF THE COUNTRY.

>> Bill: OKAY.

I HOPE YOU COME BACK WHEN THEY

MAKE YOU THE PRESIDENT.

>> I APPRECIATE YOU HAVING ME.

>> Bill: THANK YOU, SARAH,

APPRECIATE IT.

SARAH HUCKABEE SANDERS.

LET'S MEET OUR PANEL.

♪

OKAY.

HEY, HOW ARE YOU GUYS DOING?

HE'S AN INDEPENDENT JOURNALIST,

POLITICAL COMMENTATOR, AND HOST

OF "THE PARNAS PERSPECTIVE"

PODCAST: AARON PARNAS.

AARON, HOW ARE YOU DOING?

AND SHE'S CO-AUTHOR OF POLITICO

PLAYBOOK, HOST OF "THE

CONVERSATION WITH DASHA BURNS"

AND HOST OF CSPAN'S "CEASEFIRE":

DASHA BURNS.

OKAY.

SO AS I SAID BEFORE IT'S KIND OF

EXCITING WHEN WE GO ON THE AIR

AND THERE'S BREAKING NEWS.

THE BREAKING NEWS, EVERYBODY

SAYS BREAKING NEWS--

>> FRIDAYS ARE DANGEROUS IN THE

TRUMP ADMINISTRATION.

THERE'S ALWAYS BREAKING NEWS.

>> Bill: EVEN PRECEDES TRUMP.

EVERYBODY WANT TO SAY BREAKING

NEWS BECAUSE PEOPLE TURN ON THAT

TV.

IT'S USUALLY NOT BREAKING NEWS.

THIS IS BREAKING NEWS, AS FAR AS

IT'S FRIDAY.

FRIDAY THE 13TH.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

>> OH, NO.

>> Bill: FRIDAY THE 13TH.

A LITTLE AFTER 4:00 P.M. HERE IN

THE WEST COAST, 7 IN THE

EAST COAST SO MAYBE THINGS HAVE

CHANGED BUT AS A COUPLE MINUTES

AGO SECRETARY MARKWAYNE MULLIN,

HE'S OUR DHS SECRETARY SAID

THERE'S NO INDICATION OF PLANES

FALLING, BEING GROUNDED.

>> NOT FALLING YET.

>> Bill: NO INDICATION OF YET

THAT THIS WAS A NEFARIOUS ATTACK

AGAINST US.

WELL, AND THERE'S NO INDICATION

MARKWAYNE MULLIN KNOWS WHAT HE'S

DOING.

OR BELONGS IN THAT JOB.

BUT I MEAN.

I JUST WANT TO THROW THIS OUT

THERE.

MAYBE IT'S NOTHING BUT WE DID

LOSE OUR EMAIL YESTERDAY.

EVERYBODY'S EMAIL WENT DOWN.

SHORTAGE.

WE'VE SEEN PREVIOUS AIRLINE

DISASTERS OVER THE COURSE OF

THIS YEAR.

THAT HAS AN IMPACT IN MEANWHILE

SEAN DUFFY THE TRANSPORTATION

SECRETARY IS UNDER FIRE FOR

GOING OUT AND FILMING A REALITY

TV SHOW WHILE THE FAA.

HAS BEEN FALLING APART.

>> I THINK IT'S TELLING IN THE

FIRST SEVERAL HOURS OF THE

NATIONAL GROUNDING WE DON'T HAVE

THE PRESIDENT ON AIR.

YOU DON'T HAVE SEAN DUFFY ON

AIR.

YOU HAVE MARKWAYNE MULLIN ON AIR

WHO IS TELLING REPORTERS IT'S SI

AND NOT AI.

THAT'S WHAT HE'S TELLING--

>> Bill: YOU MEAN

SUPERINTELLIGENCE AS OPPOSED--

>> REPORTER TRIED TO ASK HIM.

>> Bill: BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT'S

IMPORTANT.

ACCORDING TO TRUMP, WE WILL NOT

BE CALLING THIS ARTIFICIAL

INTELLIGENCE.

>> NAMING IS IMPORTANT TO HIM

THOUGH.

>> Bill: IT'S VERY IMPORTANT.

I KNOW IT'S IMPORTANT.

OKAY.

BUT I MEAN, WHAT'S NEXT?

ONLYFANS?

I'M VERY CONCERNED.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

>> WHY ARE YOU SO CONCERNED

ABOUT ONLYFANS?

>> Bill: I WOULDN'T KNOW HOW TO

GET ON ONLYFANS.

BUT ALSO I NOTICED

SCOTT BESSENT TREASURY

SECRETARY, HE'S NOW LIVING ON A

MILITARY BASE.

JOINING ON A MILITARY BASE

STEPHEN MILLER, MARCO RUBIO

BEFORE THAT KRISTI NOEM,

PAM BONDI.

I'M JUST SAYING TRUMP WON THIS

WAR WITH IRAN HE THINKS.

YEAH, BY HIS CALCULATION.

THEY'RE RETALIATING PERHAPS THE

WAY THEY WANT TO RETALIATE.

WHY ARE ALL THESE PEOPLE HAVING

TO LIVE ON A MILITARY BASE?

WHY ARE WE GROUNDING OUR PLANES?

WHY ARE THE SUPERMARKETS IN

EUROPE LOSING THEIR FROZEN

GOODS?

YOU KNOW?

I JUST THINK YOU WIN ONE WAY BUT

YOU LOSE ANOTHER WAY AND THIS IS

SOMETHING AMERICA HAS NOT

LEARNED FROM SO MANY GUERRILLA

WARS.

THEY DON'T FIGHT BACK THE WAY

WE'D LIKE THEM TO FIGHT BACK.

WE DIDN'T WHEN WE FOUGHT THE

BRITISH TO GET OUR INDEPENDENCE.

WE FOUGHT A GUERRILLA WAR.

THIS IS I THINK THEIR GUERRILLA

WAR.

>> THERE'S A REASON WHY

SERVICE MEMBERS IN THE MIDDLE

EAST ARE BEING TOLD THEY CANNOT

COME HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS ON

THE GEORGE H.W. BUSH AIRCRAFT

CARRIER.

THERE'S A REASON WHY THERE'S

ANTI-AIRCRAFT MILITARY GRADE

WEAPONS RIGHT OUTSIDE

MAR A LAGO AS TRUMP GOLFS.

OBVIOUSLY HE IS SCARED.

OBVIOUSLY THE MILITARY IS NOT AS

DECIMATED AS HE CLAIMS AND WE

HAVE NOT WON THE WAR BECAUSE THE

WAR IS CONTINUING IN THE MIDDLE

EAST OR I DON'T KNOW, HERE.

>> Bill: OKAY.

LET ME ASK ABOUT THE PRIORITIES

WE HAVE WITH THIS SCANDAL GOING

ON HERE.

WITH NVIDIA.

BECAUSE AMERICA, I LOVE YOU,

AMERICA, YOU MAKE ME LAUGH.

THREE DAYS AGO THE STORY IS WE

FOUND OUT THE GUY WHO MAKES 90%

OF THE CHIPS WHO GO INTO AI IS

HAVING THIS AFFAIR.

OKAY.

THE WHOLE REASON WE WERE TOLD WE

CAN'T REGULATE AI IS BECAUSE WE

HAVE TO BEAT THE CHINESE.

WE WOULD, BUT WE HAVE TO BEAT

CHINA.

BUT THE GUY WHO IS SELLING THE

CHIPS AND MAKING THE CHIPS IS

FUCKING A CHINESE SPY.

AND STILL EVERYBODY'S LIKE YEAH,

BUT HE'S TOO IMPORTANT.

WE'VE GOT TO KEEP HIM THERE.

AND THIS WEEK WE FOUND OUT OH,

WAIT, HE'S FUCKING SOMEBODY AT

THE OFFICE?

COME ON.

IS THIS NOT CRAZY.

IS THIS NOT CRAZY?

>> THE 2026 STORY.

PART SPY THRILLER, PART SEX

SCANDAL, NATIONAL SECURITY, II

AI ARMS RACE, AND DONALD TRUMP

MIXED UP INTO ALL OF THIS.

THE THING WITH DONALD TRUMP HERE

IS HE LOVES THIS GUY.

HE CALLED HIM EARLIER THIS WEEK

AND TOLD HIM DO NOT STEP DOWN,

DON'T LET THEM GET YOU, STAY IN

THIS ROLE.

BUT THE QUESTION THAT I HAVE IS

WHO KNEW WHAT WENT.

WE KNEW FROM REPORTING THAT HE

WAS WARNED ABOUT THIS, THAT

HUANG MIGHT BE SLEEPING

WITH A POTENTIAL CHINESE SPY.

IN 2025 IN THE FALL AND AGAIN

IN MAY 2026.

GUYS.

I DON'T KNOW THAT MUCH ABOUT THE

BRO CODE BUT I FEEL LIKE PART OF

IT IS PROBABLY IF YOU FIND OUT

THAT YOUR FRIEND MIGHT BE

SLEEPING WITH A CHINESE ASSET,

YOU MIGHT BE LIKE HEY, DUDE, YOU

SHOULD WATCH OUT FOR THAT ONE

RIGHT?

>> Bill: THAT'S NOT HOW HE

OPERATES.

>> IN ALL SERIOUSNESS, THE

QUESTION FOR THE ADMINISTRATION

IS EXACTLY WHAT YOU MENTIONED,

BILL.

WHICH IS DID THIS PERSON, DID

JENSEN HUANG GET SPECIAL

TREATMENT IN THE SITUATION WHERE

NATIONAL SECURITY INTERESTS WERE

IGNORED BECAUSE HE HAS POWER,

POLITICAL ACCESS, AND CENTRAL TO

TRUMP'S STRATEGY?

>> Bill: I'M SORRY, IN A ANOTHER

ERA THIS WOULD BE SO MUCH WORSE

THAN SECOND TERM SCANDALS LIKE

IRAN CONTRA, WATERGATE, SHE WAS

SMUGGLING THE CHIPS THAT WE SAY

BY LAW CAN'T GO TO CHINA THROUGH

SINGAPORE.

AM I WRONG ABOUT THAT?

THAT'S WHAT-- I MEAN THIS

PERSON IS SMUGGLING THE CHIPS

THROUGH A THIRD PARTY.

IT'S LIKE WHEN A TEENAGER GETS A

HOBO TO BUY YOU BEER AND YOU

GIVE HIM MONEY.

>> AARON KNOWS ABOUT THAT.

>> YEAH, TOTALLY.

RIGHT UP MY ALLEY.

>> Bill: WHY IS NO ONE

MENTIONING, I'M SORRY, BUT THE T

WORD?

>> TREASON?

>> Bill: YEAH.

I MEAN, IS IT NOT?

I'M NOT TRYING TO GET THE GUY--

>> YOU KNOW WHO WOULD MENTION,

TRUMP WOULD MENTION THE T WORD

IF THE PRESIDENT WAS

BARACK OBAMA.

IMAGINE THE TRUTH SOCIAL POST.

IT WOULD BE LENGTHIER THAN 1200

WORDS I WOULD TELL YOU THAT.

>> I WOULD HAVE TO SAY.

>> Bill: 1300.

>> OH, SORRY.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

>> INCREDIBLE.

>> I'M SURPRISED THAT OUT OF ALL

THE AI TECH CEOs WHEN YOU

THINK ABOUT MARK ZUCKERBERG,

ELON MUSK, JEFF BEZOS.

THOSE GUYS I WOULD EXPECT TO

HAVE A SEX SCANDAL IN THEIR

CLOSET.

JENSEN HUANG IS NOT-- IF I'M

GOING OUT WITH A SOURCE TO GET A

DRINK LIKE JENSEN HUANG'S NOT

THE GUY--

>> Bill: I DISAGREE.

I WILL TELL YOU WHY.

THIS IS A COUNTRY THAT DOES NOT

TRUST BACHELORS.

JAMES TALARICO JUST GOT ELECTED.

VERY RARE A BACHELOR GETS

ELECTED.

WE CANNOT BE TRUSTED IN POLITICS

UNLESS YOU'RE MARRIED.

THEY'VE GOT IT COMPLETELY

BACKWARDS.

IT'S THE MARRIED PEOPLE WHO

CANNOT BE TRUSTED.

MARRIED MEN CANNOT BE TRUSTED.

THERE IS NOTHING MORE VULNERABLE

IN THE WORLD THAN A MASTER OF

THE UNIVERSE WHO IS NOT GETTING

ANY ADORATION AT HOME BECAUSE

YOU KNOW YOU'RE MARRIED FOR 40

YEARS, THE WIFE'S NOT GOING TO

GIVE THAT OUT.

>> THIS IS ALSO WHY WHEN I'VE

BEEN ON THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL THERE

IS OVERWHELMING BIPARTISAN

SKEPTICISM AND FRUSTRATION THAT

A SMALL AMOUNT OF VERY WEALTHY,

VERY POWERFUL MEN HAVE CONTROL

OVER TECHNOLOGY THAT IS

IMPACTING OUR LIVES, POTENTIALLY

LEADING TO OUR EXTINCTION AND

THESE ARE FALLIBLE INDIVIDUALS

AS WE CLEARLY SEE HERE THAT ARE

ENTRUSTED WITH THIS IMMENSE

AMOUNT OF POWER.

>> Bill: I'M TELLING YOU, YOU

CAN BE THE SMARTEST PERSON IN

THE WORLD BECAUSE I'VE KNOWN

GUYS LIKE THIS.

MASTER OF THE UNIVERSE TYPES.

IF YOU ARE NOT GETTING THIS VERY

FUNDAMENTAL HUMAN THING THAT

PRECEDED TECHNOLOGY, YOU ARE

SUCH EASY PICKINGS.

>> A WOMAN WOULD NEVER GIVE UP

HER COMPANY FOR A LITTLE ASS.

>> Bill: NO, I AGREE.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

YES.

BECAUSE IT'S EASY FOR WOMEN TO

GET A LITTLE ASS.

THAT'S WHY.

ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS SAY HELLO.

WE HAVE TO WORK.

>> IT IS A LITTLE HARDER.

SHOUT OUT TO MY WIFE.

>> Bill: ALSO.

LOOK, I'M NOT BLAMING THE WIVES.

BUT WHEN I THINK ABOUT

MICHELLE OBAMA THE WAY SHE'S

BEEN TALKING ABOUT HER HUSBAND

LATELY.

IT'S THAT SAME SYNDROME.

IT'S ALWAYS LIKE, I KEEP HIM

GROUNDED.

WHO THE FUCK WANTS TO BE KEPT

GROUNDED?

YOU KNOW.

YOU GOT ELECTED THE FIRST BLACK

PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES.

DON'T THINK YOU'RE ALL THAT.

>> SOUNDS LIKE YOU'RE BLAMING

WIVES.

>> Bill: I'M NOT BLAMING

THE WIVES.

WELL YOU COULD BE A LITTLE

NICER, MAYBE.

I DON'T KNOW, I'VE NEVER BEEN

MARRIED.

>> MY HUSBAND IS OUT THERE.

>> Bill: I DON'T KNOW.

BUT IT IS SO EASY TO HONEYPOT

THESE PEOPLE.

I DON'T KNOW.

CHINA SEEMS TO BE DOING IT ON AN

INDUSTRIAL LEVEL AND I DON'T

KNOW WHAT WE ARE DOING.

MAYBE WE SHOULD BE DOING IT

MORE.

WHY AREN'T WE IN THE GAME?

>> BECAUSE TRUMP IS SENDING IT

TO CHINA.

>> WELL THAT, BUT WE CAN'T EVEN

MANAGE OUR OWN F.A.A. RIGHT NOW.

YOU WANT US TO HONEYPOT SOMEONE?

>> Bill: I'M JUST SAYING--

>> I. REMEMBER DON JR. ONCE TOLD

ME THAT ALL OF THE ALLEGATIONS

THAT TRUMP WARNED ABOUT AS TRUMP

CALLS IT.

WE COULDN'T GET LIKE-- WE COULD

NOT GET A CHEESEBURGER ORDERED

TO THE WHITE HOUSE IN THE FIRST

ADMINISTRATION.

YOU THINK WE ARE COLLUDING WITH

RUSSIA?

WE CAN BARELY DO THE BASICS.

WE DIDN'T KNOW WHERE THE

BATHROOMS WERE.

BUT THERE'S TRUTH TO THAT IN THE

CHALLENGE THEY HAD EXECUTING.

>> Bill: SHOULD THE DEMOCRATS

GO AFTER THIS FULL THROTTLE?

THEY NOW HAVE THE INVESTIGATIVE

POWER.

THIS FELL IN THEIR LAPS AT THE

RIGHT TIME.

>> IT'S NOT JUST DEMOCRATS,

REPUBLICANS ARE ASKING AND

HOWARD LUTNICK TO COME ON

CAPITOL HILL.

IT'S INTERESTING.

IT WAS THIS THAT GOT THEM TO SAY

COME ON UP ON CAPITOL HILL.

LISTEN, I THINK THEY SHOULD GO

FULL THROTTLE.

THIS IS A NATIONAL SECURITY

ISSUE.

IT REALLY IS.

>> Bill: MOVING ON.

RUSSELL BRAND IS IN THE NEWS.

WHAT?

[LAUGHTER]

I JUST MENTIONED HIS NAME.

LOOK.

WE DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED IN

THAT ROOM BUT HE CERTAINLY LOOKS

LIKE A GUY WHO HE COULD USE SOME

LESSONS IN CIVILITY AND HE'S

GOING TO GET THEM FOR TEN AND A

HALF YEARS IN PRISON.

WE THOUGHT IT'D BE A GOOD TIME

TO CATCH YOU UP ON 24 THINGS YOU

DON'T KNOW ABOUT RUSSELL BRAND.

SO HERE'S 24 THINGS.

FOR EXAMPLE.

I ONCE BEAT JARED LETO IN A

SLEAZE-OFF.

I DESCRIBE MY LOOK AS "JESUS IF

HE SOLD COCAINE."

WHEN I GOT BAPTIZED TO WASH AWAY

MY SINS THEY HAD TO CHANGE THE

WATER THREE TIMES.

HE'S A BIG CHRISTIAN NOW.

KATY PERRY ONCE WENT TO SPACE TO

AVOID ME IN A RESTAURANT.

I GAVE PADDINGTON BEAR THE IDEA

FOR A RAINCOAT AND NO PANTS.

I SPECIAL-ORDERED A PRISON

JUMPSUIT THAT UNBUTTONS TO THE

WAIST.

I'M NOT WORRIED ABOUT DROPPING

THE SOAP IN PRISON BECAUSE I

HAVEN'T SHOWERED SINCE 2014.

DIDDY AND I WILL STAR IN GET HIM

TO THE GREEK 2 IN 2036.

2034 WITH GOOD BEHAVIOR.

ALL RIGHT.

SO.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

OKAY.

LET'S TALK ABOUT MEDIA BECAUSE I

WANTED TO HAVE YOU TWO ON

BECAUSE I THINK YOU'RE TRYING TO

DO SOMETHING NEW IN MEDIA WHICH

IS GREAT.

MEDIA NEEDS SOMETHING NEW.

AND THAT IS SOMETHING THAT IS

NOT BIASED.

SOMETHING THAT'S JUST TELLING

YOU WHAT GOES ON.

I'M NOT SAYING IN THE OLD DAYS

OF WALTER CRONKITE IT WAS

PERFECT BUT AT THE END WHEN HE

SAID THAT'S THE WAY IT IS NOBODY

QUESTIONED THAT HE WAS JUST

GIVING US THE NEWS.

HE WAS NOT TELLING YOU HOW TO

THINK OR WHAT TO THINK.

HE WAS JUST TELLING YOU WHAT

HAPPENED.

IS THAT HOW YOU SEE WHAT YOU'RE

TRYING TO DO?

>> YEAH.

I THINK ONE OF THE MOST HARMFUL

THINGS TO THE MEDIA HAS BEEN

THIS BLENDING OF OPINION AND

STRAIGHT FACT AND IT IS SO

DIFFICULT ESPECIALLY WITH THE

WORLD OF SOCIAL MEDIA FOR USERS

TO UNDERSTAND WHO IS GIVING YOU

OPINION AND ANALYSIS AND WHO IS

GIVING YOU JOURNALISTIC TRUTH

THAT HAS BEEN VETTED AND WELL

SOURCED AND HAS GONE THROUGH THE

PROPER PROCESS BECAUSE AS MUCH

AS MY EDITORS DRIVE ME CRAZY

SOMETIMES THERE'S A REASON

THEY'RE THERE IN THAT PUSH AND

PULL IN A NEWSROOM IS SO

IMPORTANT.

AND I FEEL LIKE I'VE HOSTED THE

PODCAST CALLED CONVERSATION FROM

LEFT AND RIGHT AND ACROSS THE

POLITICAL SPECTRUM ON MY SHOW

AND AS I LOOK AROUND IN THE

PODCAST SPHERE ESPECIALLY.

THERE ARE SO FEW POLITICAL SHOWS

THAT AREN'T WEARING A JERSEY

THAT JUST HAVE HONEST

CONVERSATIONS THAT ARE NOT

NON-PARTISAN.

>> Bill: COMPANY EXCEPTION I'M

SURE.

PEOPLE YELL AT ME FOR STARTING

THIS WHOLE TREND OF POLITICS AND

POLITICS WITH OPINION.

YEAH, I'M ADMITTING I HAVE AN

OPINION AND I'M NOT A

NEWSCASTER.

I MEAN, I JUST DID A FUCKING

MONOLOGUE.

THESE ARE JOKES.

BUT I DON'T THINK PEOPLE MAKE

THAT DIFFERENCE ANYMORE IN THEIR

MIND.

THEY JUST GET WHAT THEY GET, HOW

THEY GET IT, AND THEY DON'T CARE

IF IT'S TRUE OR NOT.

I THINK TOO MANY TIMES WHAT

THEY'VE ALREADY BELIEVED

REINFORCED.

>> I THINK THAT'S PART OF IT.

THERE IS A LARGE PART OF SOCIETY

WHO'S LOOKING FOR INFORMATION

BUT THEY JUST DON'T KNOW WHERE

TO FIND IT AND SO THEY GO TO

SOCIAL MEDIA BECAUSE THAT'S

WHERE THEY LOOK AT WHEN THEY

WAKE UP AND GO TO BED.

I THINK THERE'S A REAL A REAL

GAP WHERE CIVICS EDUCATION IS

NOT TAUGHT IN ALL 50 SCHOOLS IN

THE COUNTRY.

>> MEDIA LITERACY.

THERE'S LITERAL NEWS DESERTS

BECAUSE LOCAL NEWSROOMS ARE

CLOSING AND SO THEY TURN TO

SOCIAL MEDIA AND YEAH.

OFTENTIMES UNFORTUNATELY THERE'S

A LOT OF MISINFORMATION

ESPECIALLY WITH THE RISE IN AI

AND WE TALK ABOUT THE TECH

OLIGARCHS EARLIER.

THEY LET IT WILD.

>> Bill: AND ACCURACY IS NOT

WHAT GOES VIRAL.

HOW ARE YOU COMPETING IN THIS

WORLD WHERE EVERYBODY ELSE IS

NOT TRYING TO INFORM, THEY'RE

TRYING TO INFLAME.

THEY'RE NOT REALLY TRYING TO BE

FAIR.

THEY'RE TRYING TO GET CLICKS AND

GET PEOPLE WHO ALREADY AGREE

WITH THEM TO SEE SOMETHING THAT

THEY CAN CHEER ABOUT.

HOW DO YOU STACK UP AGAINST

THAT?

>> IT'S REALLY HARD FRANKLY AND

I THINK TO AARON'S POINT THE

HOPE FOR SOMEONE LIKE ME IS THE

PENDULUM SWINGS A LITTLE BIT AND

PEOPLE GET SICK OF THE DOPAMINE

HIGH, THE SUGAR HIGH FROM THE

PARTISAN RAGE BAIT AND I OFTEN

JOKE I'M LIKE THE BROCCOLI WHEN

I GO ON TV NETWORKS.

I GET YELLED AT BY PEOPLE ON THE

RIGHT AND ON THE LEFT.

>> Bill: GOOD FOR YOU.

>> I'M NOT THERE TO TELL PEOPLE

THAT MAKES THEM HAPPY.

YOU KNOW, WHEN DONALD TRUMP

WAS RUNNING IN 2024 I WAS

FOLLOWING HIM ON THE CAMPAIGN

TRAIL.

I WAS GOING ON MSNBC, MSNBC NEWS

SAYING I'M AT THIS RALLY AT THE

BRONX WHERE THERE'S BLACK AND

BROWN PEOPLE HERE WHO HAVE NEVER

VOTED FOR REPUBLICANS BEFORE AND

THEY'RE PLANNING TO VOTE FOR

DONALD TRUMP.

THERE'D BE PANELISTS AFTERWARDS

SHITTING ON ME.

>> Bill: THEY'RE ATTACKING YOU

FOR REPORTING FACTS.

>> I'M NOT SAYING IT BECAUSE I'M

HAPPY BUT I'M SAYING IT BECAUSE

IT'S THE TRUTH.

I'M THE GRIM REAPER TO

EVERYBODY.

>> Bill: I GET THE SAME SHIT

THAT YOU DO.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

OKAY.

WE ARE ON TV NOW.

RIGHT?

>> THIS WILL BE ON SOCIAL MEDIA

THOUGH RIGHT?

>> 100%.

>> Bill: OH, YEAH.

>> AARON WILL MAKE SURE.

>> Bill: YOU CAN WATCH THE

WHOLE SHOW ON YOUR PHONE, PEOPLE

DO.

BUT THE PHONE IS NOT REALLY THE

DEVICE WHERE PEOPLE SPEND ONE

WHOLE HOUR LOOKING AT SOMETHING.

>> THEY DO.

>> Bill: YOU DO.

>> SCROLLING ON TICK TOCK FOR A

WHOLE HOUR.

PROBABLY LONGER ACTUALLY.

>> Bill: IS IT JUST WATCHING?

MY POINT IS MY AUDIENCE IS

LOOKING AT YOU TWO GOING LIKE

THESE TWO ARE GREAT.

WHAT ROCK HAVE THEY BEEN HIDING

UNDER?

I'VE NEVER HEARD ABOUT THEM.

>> IT'S AMAZING YOU HAVE TWO

YOUNG PEOPLE.

>> Bill: THEY DON'T HAVE A TV.

THEY DON'T EVEN OWN A TV.

>> THEY'LL MAKE US GO VIRAL.

>> THIS WILL BE ON TWITTER BY

TOMORROW.

>> Bill: THEY SEE THE WHOLE

THING.

THEY GET THE THINGS THAT PEOPLE

TAKE OUT OF CONTEXT BECAUSE THIS

HAPPENS TO ME ALL THE TIME AND

HAPPENS TO YOU.

I'LL DO AN EDITORIAL HERE AND

HALF OF IT WILL SLAM THE RIGHT

AND HALF WILL SLAM THE LEFT AND

THEY'LL PICK UP THE POST THE

NEXT DAY WHICH IS A RIGHT WING

THING.

JUST PRINT THE PART WHERE I SAID

THE THINGS THAT THEY WANT TO

HEAR.

THE OTHER STUFF IS JUST IN THE

ETHER NOW.

>> THE CLIPPING ECONOMY.

I MEAN, THIS IS THE WORLD WE

LIVE IN TODAY.

I DON'T REMEMBER THE LAST TIME I

SAT THROUGH A WHOLE MOVIE.

I DON'T.

>> THAT'S SO SAD.

>> I DON'T HAVE THE ATTENTION

SPAN TO DO IT.

IT JUST DOESN'T HAPPEN.

>> Bill: I DON'T EITHER.

I WATCH THEM BUT NOT ALL AT

ONCE.

I ALWAYS SAY TO PEOPLE, HOW CAN

YOU NOT WATCHING-- DO YOU

READ A BOOK ALL AT ONCE?

NO, I READ A FEW CHAPTERS AND

WATCH 20 MINUTES OF A MOVIE ONE

NIGHT AND IT'LL TAKE ME FIVE

NIGHTS TO WATCH.

SO WHAT?

IS THAT WHAT YOU DO?

>> THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I DO.

IF I LIKE SOME PARTS AND NOT

OTHERS I WILL SKIP THROUGH.

[LAUGHTER]

>> AS A CINEPHILE, THAT PAINS

ME.

>> Bill: YOU'RE GOING TO MISS

THE PART WHERE THEY PUT THE

HORSE'S HEAD IN THE BED.

OKAY.

>> THREE HOUR YOU CAN SEE

EVERYTHING.

ELIZABETH HOLMES MOVIE.

>> I WATCHED THE CLIPS ONLINE.

>> Bill: OKAY, SO.

LOOK, THERE'S A BUNCH OF REASONS

WHY I THINK PEOPLE ARE ILL

INFORMED THESE DAYS.

I'LL START WITH SCHOOLS BUT WE

DON'T HAVE TO GO THROUGH THAT

BECAUSE WE COULD BE HERE FOR TWO

HOURS.

I JUST HAPPEN TO KNOW IT FROM

SEEING TOO MANY MEN ON STREET

INTERVIEWS WITH PEOPLE THAT

THEY'LL LET YOU OUT OF

HIGH SCHOOL WITHOUT KNOWING

ANYTHING.

AND I MEAN ANYTHING, LIKE

THERE'S NOTHING SO BASIC THAT

THEY WILL NOT SAY NO PROBLEM,

HERE IS YOUR DIPLOMA.

BUT MEDIA IS THE OTHER PART OF

IT I THINK THAT IS THE PROBLEM.

THE TWO ISSUES THAT BUGGED ME

THE MOST WHERE I THINK PEOPLE

JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK

THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT ARE

SOCIALISM, MOSTLY YOUNGER

PEOPLE.

SOCIALISM AND ISRAEL.

THEY JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT THE

FUCK THEY ARE TALKING ABOUT.

THEY'VE ONLY SEEN PARTS OF

MOVIES.

I FEEL LIKE WITH ISRAEL IT'S

LIKE A THREE HOUR MOVIE AND THEY

WATCHED THE LAST 5 MINUTES.

WHERE THEY ATTACKED GAZA.

AND NOTHING THAT HAPPENED BEFORE

IS EVEN IN THEIR CONSCIOUSNESS

AND YOU CAN'T GET IT IN THEIR

CONSCIOUSNESS.

>> I THINK THE LACK OF CONTEXT

ESPECIALLY WHEN IT COMES TO

PEOPLE WHO CONSUME THEIR NEWS ON

TIKTOK IS REALLY A HUGE PART OF

THE PROBLEM.

AND I THINK IT'S ON US AS

REPORTERS.

I SAW A DEBATE ON X TODAY WHERE

ONE JOURNALIST SAID I THINK

PEOPLE DON'T REALIZE WHEN WE

QUOTE ANONYMOUS SOURCES THAT

THEY'RE NOT ANONYMOUS TO US.

WE KNOW WHO THE SOURCES ARE.

WE ARE JUST NOT PRINTING THEIR

NAMES.

IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE TO THESE

PEOPLE DON'T KNOW HOW THE

REPORTING PROCESS WORKS.

I THINK WE AS JOURNALISTS IT'S

INCUMBENT UPON US TO SHOW OUR

WORK MORE SO THEY UNDERSTAND

THAT WHEN YOU PUT OUT A STORY WE

ARE NOT PULLING IT OUT OF OUR

ASS.

THERE'S A TON OF WORK THAT GOES

INTO THAT AND IT'S WHY WHY IT'S

SHORTENED AND TRUNCATED AND

CLIPPED UP ON SOCIAL MEDIA,

YOU'RE NOT GETTING THE FULL

PICTURE.

I CANNOT PUT OUT A PIECE THAT

DOES NOT HAVE THE CONTEXT OF

WHAT WE ARE REPORTING ABOUT AND

DOESN'T ATTEMPT TO SHOW--

>> Bill: YOU THINK THE PEOPLE

WHO WATCH YOU KNOW THAT ISRAEL

GAVE GAZA BACK IN 2005?

YOU THINK THEY KNOW THAT?

>> IF YOU WANT TO EXPLAIN THE

ENTIRE ISRAEL-GAZA ISSUE, YOU

COULD SPEND WEEKS AND YOU STILL

WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO EXPLAIN

PAST 75 YEARS.

>> Bill: WOULDN'T THAT BE ONE

THING THAT PROBABLY SHOULD ENTER

INTO IT IF YOU'RE JUST GOING TO

LOOK AT WHAT HAPPENED IN THE

LAST YEAR?

THAT THEY ACTUALLY GAVE IT BACK?

THEY SAID WE DON'T WANT IT.

WE DON'T WANT TO BE ATTACKED

FROM IT WHICH KEPT GOING ON.

>> I WOULD SAY DON'T YOU WANT ON

FACEBOOK WHILE YOU'RE SCROLLING

TO SEE WHO WON THE 2020 ELECTION

AND FOR IT TO BE COMPLETELY

ACCURATE?

I MEAN, AT THE END OF THE DAY

SOCIAL MEDIA IS NOT DESIGNED TO

GIVE YOU THE FULL PICTURE OF

EVERY SINGLE STORY DATING BACK

DECADES AND DECADES.

YOU'RE NEVER GOING TO GET THAT

ON ANY STORY IN SOCIAL MEDIA.

I THINK THERE'S A LOT OF GOOD

REPORTERS ON SOCIAL MEDIA GIVING

ENOUGH CONTEXT FOR YOU TO GET

THAT 90 SECONDS AND KIND OF GO

ABOUT YOUR DAY.

NOT EVERYONE'S DOING IT BUT IT

IS THERE.

YOU JUST HAVE TO FIND IT.

>> I WILL SAY YOU PICKED ON

YOUNG PEOPLE AND THANK YOU FOR

HAVING TWO YOUTHS ON YOUR PANEL

WHO HAPPENED TO BE UKRAINIAN AND

THE DEI DEPARTMENT IS A LITTLE

BIT WEIRD I HAVE TO SAY.

BUT HAVING BEEN ON THE CAMPAIGN

TRAIL FOR THE LAST TEN YEARS IN

THE TRUMP ERA, IT'S ALSO A WHOLE

LOT OF BOOMERS THAT ARE ON

FACEBOOK GOING DOWN RABBIT HOLES

OF CONSPIRACY THEORIES.

YOU REMEMBER THE QANON ERA.

THERE'S A THEORY I HEARD IN 2023

WHEN I WAS COVERING THE ELECTION

FROM A WOMAN WHO WAS CONVINCED

THAT UNDER THE GETTY MUSEUM HERE

IN LOS ANGELES THERE WAS A CHILD

TRAFFICKING RING OF HUNDREDS OF

THOUSANDS OF CHILDREN.

SO MISINFORMATION IS A PROBLEM

ACROSS GENERATIONS.

>> Bill: BY THE WAY, IT'S THE

OLDER PEOPLE NOW WHO ARE SAYING

ARE KIND OF REVERSING.

KIDS ARE KIND OF HAVING A

RETHINK ABOUT HOW MUCH WE SHOULD

BE ATTACHED TO SOCIAL MEDIA.

>> LOOK AT AUSTRALIA.

THEY'RE HAPPY TO PUT THEIR

PHONES AWAY.

>> Bill: OLDER PEOPLE WITH OVER

22 HOURS A WEEK.

>> ARE YOU GUYS OKAY?

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

I WORRY.

>> Bill: BUT WHAT ABOUT

LEARNING SOMETHING?

GOOD, BAD?

LIKE WITH SOCIALISM WHICH AGAIN

SOME OF THIS IS NOT SOCIALISM.

I KNOW THIS.

I WENT TO COLLEGE.

I KNOW WHAT COMMUNISM IS.

WHEN YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT TAKING

OVER THE MEANS OF PRODUCTION,

TALKING ABOUT GOVERNMENT RUN

FOOD STORES.

THAT'S COMMUNISM.

I'M NOT SAYING THAT AS A SLUR.

I'M SAYING THAT THAT'S WHAT

IT IS.

IT'S AN ECONOMIC SYSTEM.

YOU HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO VOTE FOR

IT BUT THAT'S WHAT IT IS.

I FEEL LIKE THERE'S AN ARROGANCE

IN NOT LOOKING AT THE PAST.

NOT EVEN WANTING TO.

THE IDEA THAT PEOPLE HAVE TRIED

THIS.

WE KNOW IT DOESN'T WORK.

WE HAVE EXAMPLES OF SO MANY

DIFFERENT COUNTRIES AROUND THE

WORLD.

JUST LOOK AT THE TWO KOREAS OR I

JUST READ INDIA WHEN THEY GOT

RID OF SOCIALISM AND MOVED TO

CAPITALISM.

THEY RAISED 500 MILLION PEOPLE

OUT OF POVERTY INTO THE MIDDLE

CLASS.

IN JUST LIKE 13 YEARS.

THAT'S THE FACTS.

IS ANYBODY SEEING THAT?

>> I THINK THERE'S A LOT OF

THESE LABELS THAT HAVE BECOME

VERY SUPERFICIAL SHORTHAND FOR

PEOPLE TO SAY.

I'M A PROGRESSIVE.

THE DSA PLATFORM IF YOU ACTUALLY

READ IT MOST OF THE PEOPLE

COMING INTO CONGRESS THAT ARE

SUPPORTED BY THE DSA OR IDENTIFY

AS DEMOCRATIC SOCIALISTS DON'T

SUPPORT THE DEMOCRATIC PLATFORM

BUT AS A SIGNAL TO VOTERS SAYING

I'M SUPER PROGRESSIVE, I'M GOING

TO PUSH FOR MEDICARE FOR ALL AND

FOR SOME SOCIALIST POPULIST

ECONOMIC POPULIST POLICIES THAT

DOESN'T NECESSARILY MEAN I'M A

SOCIALIST.

BUT YOU ASK PEOPLE TO DEFINE THE

WORD AND A LOT OF PEOPLE

STRUGGLE.

YOU SAW J.D. VANCE RECENTLY SAY

SOCIALISM MEANS YOU'RE TRYING TO

TRANS OUR KIDS.

SO WE'VE GOTTEN ALL KINDS OF

CONFUSED.

>> Bill: I MISSED THAT ONE.

>> HE SAID SOCIALISM MEANS HERE

IN THE UNITED STATES SOCIALISM

MEANS PEOPLE THAT WANT MEN IN

GIRLS SPORTS AND TRANS SURGERY

FOR CHILDREN.

>> LISTEN.

I THINK A LOT OF THESE TALKING

POINTS AND THESE BUZZWORDS GO TO

A MUCH DEEPER FUNDAMENTAL ISSUE

THAT A LOT OF PEOPLE IN AMERICA

HAVE.

IF YOU CAN'T AFFORD TO GET

GROCERIES, AND YOU HEAR A

POLITICIAN SAY I'M GOING TO OPEN

UP GOVERNMENT FUNDED GROCERIES.

THAT MAKES A LOT OF SENSE AND

IT'S VERY APPEALING OF COURSE.

WHEN YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT THE

PAST, THE FIRST TIME VOTER IN

2026 WAS BORN WHEN

PRESIDENT OBAMA WAS ELECTED IN

2008.

YOU'RE ASKING THEM TO GO BEFORE

2008.

THEY'RE NOT GOING TO.

I DON'T REMEMBER PRESIDENT OBAMA

AS PRESIDENT.

>> Bill: I DON'T REMEMBER THE

FRENCH REVOLUTION BUT I KNOW

ABOUT IT.

ALL RIGHT ANYWAY.

I'VE GOT TO GO TO "NEW RULES."

THANK YOU, GUYS.

"NEW RULES"!

♪

NEW RULE: NOW THAT JOSH HAWLEY

IS CALLING ON CHRISTIANS TO

RESPOND TO THE MIDTERMS BY

GATHERING AT THE CAPITOL ON

DECEMBER 15TH TO FAST AND PRAY

"FROM 12 TO 1," SOMEONE HAS TO

TELL HIM: WHEN YOU LOSE AN

ELECTION THIS BAD, DOESN'T IT

TELL YOU: PRAYERS DON'T WORK.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

AND ALSO: "FAST FROM 12 TO 1"?

NOT EATING FOR AN HOUR?

THAT'S NOT FASTING.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

GANDHI DIDN'T EAT FOR 21 DAYS.

JESUS WENT FOR 40-- HOW DO YOU

THINK HE GOT THOSE ABS?

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

NEW RULE: THE WEST VIRGINIA MAN

WHO USED A BOUNCED CHECK TO PAY

FOR A JESUS TATTOO MUST TELL US

IF IT WAS WORTH IT.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE ANSWER TO

"WHAT WOULD JESUS DO" IS, BUT

I'M PRETTY SURE IT'S NOT "GET

HEP C IN WEST VIRGINIA."

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

I HOPE THAT TATTOO HELPS YOU GET

INTO HEAVEN-- BECAUSE YOUR

CREDIT SCORE IS DEFINITELY GOING

TO HELL.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

NEW RULE: TO THE MEMPHIS WOMAN

WHOSE WATER BROKE WHILE SHE WAS

SHOPPING AT AN AT&T PHONE

OUTLET, JUST BE GLAD IT DIDN'T

HAPPEN AT AN APPLE STORE.

IF YOU DELIVERED THE BABY THERE

THEY WOULD HAVE CHARGED YOU

SEPARATELY FOR THE CORD.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

NEW RULE: PRESIDENT TRUMP MUST

BE CONSISTENT, SO THIS YEAR WHEN

HE GIVES TWO TURKEYS A PARDON

BEFORE THANKSGIVING, HE MUST

FIRST GET THEM TO EITHER BUY HIS

CRYPTO CURRENCY OR MAKE AN

ENERGY DEAL WITH ERIC AND

DON JR. THROUGH A SHELL COMPANY

IN THE CAYMAN ISLANDS.

NEW RULE: THE MEDIA OUTLETS

REPORTING THAT THIS 97-YEAR-OLD

MAN DIED AT HIS OWN BIRTHDAY

PARTY WHILE DANCING TO THE SONG

"STAYIN' ALIVE," MUST BE MORE

SPECIFIC ON THE TIMELINE.

BECAUSE IF HE LITERALLY DROPPED

DEAD WHILE DANCING TO

"STAYIN' ALIVE," THAT'S FUNNY.

BUT IF HE DROPPED DEAD FIRST,

AND THEN "STAYIN' ALIVE" STARTED

PLAYING, WELL THAT'S JUST THE DJ

BEING A DICK.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

AND FINALLY, NEW RULE...

NOW THAT WE'VE HAD AN ELECTION

IN 2026 THAT UNDID THE VIBE

SHIFT WE HAD IN 2024, WHEN WE

HAD AN ELECTION THAT UNDID

THE VIBE SHIFT WE HAD IN 2020,

CAN WE PLEASE STOP HAVING VIBE

SHIFTS?

AND JUST VIBE?

BECAUSE I'M GETTING CAR SICK.

I JUST WANT IT TO STOP IN THE

MIDDLE.

NOT WHERE WE WERE AT PEAK WOKE,

WHEN EVEN AOC SAID "WOKE 1 WAS

CRAZY"-- AND IT WAS, WITH THE

ENDLESS SANCTIMONY ABOUT HOW

EVERYTHING YOU DID, SAID, ATE,

AND THOUGHT MADE YOU A RACIST,

SEXIST, COLONIZER-- BUT ALSO

NOT WHERE TRUMP TOOK US THE LAST

TWO YEARS WITH HIS IMPORTANT

MESSAGE THAT TOGETHER, WE COULD

ACCOMPLISH HATEFUL THINGS.

AS MUCH AS ANYTHING, REPUBLICANS

LOST THIS ELECTION BECAUSE NO

ONE WANTED THE PENDULUM TO SWING

ALL THE WAY TO "FULL ASSHOLE."

TO CRUELTY.

ALL THE WAY FROM "LOOK WHAT A

GOOD PERSON I AM" TO "LOOK WHAT

A DOUCHEBAG I CAN BE."

YES, LIBERAL VIRTUE SIGNALING

HAD BECOME TIRESOME-- BUT DID

WE HAVE TO GO TO VICE-SIGNALING?

AMERICANS DON'T LIKE BEING

GOVERNED BY PEOPLE WHO THINK

THEY'RE BETTER THAN EVERYONE

ELSE, BUT THEY ALSO SAID LOUD

AND CLEAR, THEY DON'T LIKE

PEOPLE WHO TAKE PRIDE IN BEING

WAY WORSE.

LINCOLN HAD A CABINET THAT WAS A

TEAM OF RIVALS.

TRUMP ASSEMBLED A TEAM OF DICKS.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

EVERY GOVERNMENT DIRECTIVE AND

EXECUTIVE ORDER WAS WRITTEN LIKE

THEY WERE USING CHAT-SOB.

PETE HEGSETH, SECRETARY OF MALE

OVERCOMPENSATION, WANTING TO

LIVESTREAM A PUBLIC EXECUTION.

FOR THE HOLIDAYS.

KRISTI NOEM IN A $60,000

WRISTWATCH VOGUEING IN A TORTURE

GULAG ALLIGATOR ALCATRAZ MOMS

SHOT IN THEIR MINIVANS.

THE RICHEST MAN IN THE WORLD

GLEEFULLY FUCKING THE POOREST

CHILDREN OUT OF MOSQUITO NETS.

VIVEK RAMASWAMY MAKING AN ATTACK

AD SAYING A 12-YEAR-OLD RAPE

VICTIM WAS LYING AND TRUMP AND

VANCE SAYING THAT'S "FAIR GAME."

THIS IS HOW YOU EVEN LOSE

TEXAS.

BECAUSE THE OPPOSITE OF BEING A

SANCTIMONIOUS PRICK ISN'T BEING

AN ACTUAL PRICK, AND REPUBLICANS

USED TO UNDERSTAND THAT

CONSERVATIVES USED TO BE ABOUT

CHARACTER, PERSONAL

RESPONSIBILITY, AND FAMILY

VALUES.

AND MAYBE A LITTLE GAY SEX AT A

HIGHWAY REST STOP.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

BUT MOSTLY THE CHARACTER-FAMILY

THING.

THEY COULD HAVE FOUGHT CRIME

WITHOUT ACTING LIKE WE JUST

ELECTED THE JOKER POLICE

COMMISSIONER.

THEY COULD HAVE ENFORCED THE

BORDER WITHOUT MAKING A

SPECTACLE OF SUFFERING AND

SENDING PEOPLE TO COUNTRIES THEY

HAVE NO CONNECTION TO.

BUT DEMOCRATS WOULD BE REMISS IF

THEY DIDN'T NOTICE THAT NONE OF

THIS HAPPENED IN A VACUUM;

EVERYTHING IS A REACTION TO WHAT

WENT BEFORE.

ONE REASON TRUMP GOT RE-ELECTED

WAS AMERICANS HAD GROWN

EXHAUSTED WITH WHAT I CALL THE

"LAWN SIGN" PEOPLE-- YOU'VE

SEEN THE LAWN SIGN, RIGHT?

"IN THIS HOUSE, WE BELIEVE THAT

BLACK LIVES MATTER, WOMEN'S

RIGHTS ARE HUMAN RIGHTS, NO

HUMAN IS ILLEGAL, SCIENCE IS

REAL, LOVE IS LOVE, AND KINDNESS

IS EVERYTHING."

THANK YOU, HOUSE!

I WAS ABOUT TO BECOME A NAZI,

BUT THEN I DROVE PAST YOU!

I MEAN, THE THING IS, THOSE ARE

GOOD CONCEPTS THAT MOST

AMERICANS ALREADY BELIEVE IN--

EVEN IF WE HAVE DIFFERENT IDEAS

ABOUT GETTING THERE.

BUT WHEN YOU NEED TO PUT IT OUT

ON THE LAWN?

AND BY THE WAY, IF "WOMEN'S

RIGHTS ARE HUMAN RIGHTS" IS

REALLY A BIG THING FOR YOU,

YOU MIGHT WANT TO CHECK OUT

WHAT GOES ON IN YOUR BELOVED

PALESTINE.

[APPLAUSE]

AND SCIENCE IS REAL?

THAT'S PRETTY FUNNY FROM PEOPLE

STILL WEARING THE COVID MASK.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

FROM PEOPLE WHO INSISTED FOR

YEARS THAT HUMANS COULD BE

"HEALTHY AT ANY WEIGHT," UNTIL

OZEMPIC CAME ALONG, AND THEN

THEY SAID "OF COURSE NO ONE

WANTS TO BE FAT WHO WAS SAYING

THAT?"

IT'S ALL WELL AND GOOD TO

DECLARE YOURSELF THE MORALLY

ENLIGHTENED ONES, BUT WHEN YOUR

POLICY IDEAS ARE BASED ON HOW

GOOD THEY MAKE YOU FEEL, AND NOT

ON HOW MUCH GOOD THEY ACTUALLY

DO, THAT'S WHEN PEOPLE LURCH TO

THE OTHER EVEN WORSE EXTREME.

SURE, LAND ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS LET

US KNOW WHAT A GOOD PERSON YOU

ARE, BUT DO THE INDIANS REALLY

BENEFIT KNOWING YOU ACKNOWLEDGE

THE STOLEN LAND YOU'RE DRINKING

YOUR $18 SMOOTHIE ON?

WHO BENEFITED WHEN YOU DIDN'T

ENFORCE THE LAWS AGAINST

SHOPLIFTING?

WHO BENEFITS WHEN YOU GIVE A

HOMELESS SCHIZOPHRENIC CLEAN

NEEDLES INSTEAD OF FORCING HIM

INTO TREATMENT?

WHO BENEFITS WHEN YOU DECIDE

THAT STANDARDIZED TESTS ARE

RACIST?

NOT THE SMART POOR KID, WHO JUST

LOST THE BEST WAY TO PROVE HE'S

SMART.

I KNOW IT'S VERY IMPORTANT TO

YOU THAT BLACK PEOPLE KNOW

YOU'RE AN ALLY, BUT BAD NEWS: I

TALKED TO EVERY BLACK PERSON IN

AMERICA, AND TURNS OUT THEY

KINDA DON'T GIVE A SHIT.

YEAH, THEY'RE NOT WAKING UP

EVERY DAY SAYING, "WHAT CAN I DO

TODAY TO MAKE SURE WHITE PEOPLE

FEEL BETTER ABOUT THEMSELVES?"

NOW THAT DEMOCRATS WON THE

ELECTION, LET'S NOT GET HIGH ON

OUR OWN SUPPLY LIKE THE LAST

CROWN DID, AND INTERPRET THE "W"

AS A SIGN TO GO BACK TO BAD

IDEAS-- LIKE DEFUND THE

POLICE-- WHICH ONLY MADE LIFE

WORSE FOR THE PEOPLE WHO

MOSTLY WANT MORE COPS.

I DON'T CARE WHAT RACE OR CLASS

YOU ARE, WHEN YOU DIAL EMERGENCY

SERVICES, YOU WANT TO HEAR,

"911, WHAT'S YOUR EMERGENCY?"

NOT "911, YOU'RE FUCKED BECAUSE

SOME ELITIST DO-GOODERS IMAGINED

A WORLD WHERE COPS AREN'T

NECESSARY."

SEATTLE TRIED A "NO POLICE ZONE"

IN 2020, AND OF COURSE PEOPLE

WENT FULL BURNING MAN.

BUT AT LEAST THE PROTESTORS GOT

SOME GOOD PICTURES FOR THEIR

INSTAGRAM STORIES.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH LADIES AND

GENTLEMEN.

I WANNA THANK MY GUESTS

DASHA BURNS, AARON PARNAS, AND

GOVERNOR SARAH HUCKABEE SANDERS.

CLUB RANDOM DROPS EVERY MONDAY

ON YOUTUBE, OR LISTEN WHEREVER

YOU GET YOUR PODCASTS.

THANK YOU, FOLKS.

GO WATCH "OVERTIME" ON YOUTUBE

NOW.

THANK YOU.

♪

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

♪