Original subtitles

[music playing]

Snow, snow, snow.

It must be 20 below out there.

[sneeze]

What I wouldn't give to move this whole operation

to a warmer climate.

Elmer, what in the name of Ebenezer Scrooge

is your problem, anyway?

Are we going to go through this every Christmas?

Nothing ever changes.

Every year, it's the same thing--

hurry, hurry, hurry.

Beat the clock.

Rush, rush, rush, rush.

And when you barely have time to catch your breath,

we start all over again.

I need a vacation.

A vacation?

From what?

You haven't finished one single assignment.

You've already been kicked out of parts and assembly.

The boxing division is working overtime after that fiasco,

and the design department voted to put you

on the next polar bear out of town.

Can I help it if no one appreciates my suggestions?

The real kick in the pants is it's a week before Christmas,

and I need every available elf, like it or not.

Now report to gift wrap.

And step on it!

Christmas is coming!

Yeah, yeah.

WOMAN OVER INTERCOM: Would the elf belonging to [inaudible]----

And stay out.

WOMAN OVER INTERCOM: You're blocking the reindeer bay.

Tsk, tsk, tsk.

All I have left is QC.

It's your last stop, Elmer.

If I get one more complaint, you're

going to spend the rest of the holiday

cleaning up after the reindeer.

Got it?

WOMAN OVER INTERCOM: Attention, elves.

Gingerbread cookies and milk will be served at 3 o'clock

today. Attention, elves.

The ECU-- Elf Credit Union--

will observe holiday hours and stay open until 4:15

PM Monday through Friday.

[glass breaking] - Incoming!

ELF: Elmer!

ELMER: I hate being an elf.

Work, work, work, all year long.

For what?

So a bunch of kids can get some presents for Christmas.

Give, give, give.

What about me?

Don't I count?

When was the last time I got presents?

I'll tell you when--

never.

That's when.

And I wish, just a wish, I could trade places.

I'd be a kid getting presents for Christmas,

eating candy canes, having visions of sugarplums

dancing in my head.

What is a sugarplum, anyway?

How would I know?

I've never even seen one.

That's another thing.

If I were a kid, I wouldn't have to work.

Cartoons all year long.

[sneeze]

Somewhere where it ain't snowing.

SANTA: You should have the missus make you

some nice, hot chicken soup.

Best thing there is for a head cold.

Um, Santa?

How long have you been standing there?

Long enough to know you're not the happiest elf on the team.

Oh, it just seems like I'm missing something.

There's so much giving going on, but I

never do any of the getting.

You think you'd be happy out there

in the real world, where all the boys and girls have it so easy.

You think that's what's missing?

Hmm?

Well, yeah.

Never been in here before.

Elmer, meet GERT.

Gert?

Global Electronic Radar Tracking.

After that close encounter with that 747,

Elvin thought we should update things a little.

But what about Rudolph?

Oh, I'll always need Rudolph and the others

to pull the full load.

But with the atmosphere filled to capacity

with all the microwaves and television and satellite

transmissions, even Rudolph could

overshoot a rooftop, especially in all that confusion.

I sure wish I could go.

I'd do anything to see the outside world.

Oh, Elmer.

If you only knew how special you were.

All my elves are special.

What a gift it is to be able to give.

It's the most wonderful thing there is.

Elmer!

What are you doing here?

Get back to work.

OK, OK!

Don't be getting your Christmas tinsel in a bunch.

I'm going.

[chuckling]

Those young elves.

There's a staff meeting at 3, and you have a fitting

with a tailor at 3:30.

Looks like they're going to have to let the suit out again,

Santa.

[chuckling]

What a gift it is to give.

What does that mean? What gift?

Give who?

Still sounds like no presents for Elmer to me.

Ew, Donner.

Someone needs a bath.

Good thing my nose is stuffed up.

How to become a a real boy.

If you want to be a boy, these three things you must deploy.

First to find a far-off place with houses,

farms, and open space.

Second, you must do a deed to help one true friend in need.

Do both of these by half past noon

on the eve of a Christmas moon.

The third and final stipulation to guarantee

your transformation, and those funny ears that you despise

will disappear before your eyes.

If you wish three times to yourself

to no longer be an elf.

That doesn't sound too hard.

[music playing]

I'm sure there's enough room in this sleigh for one,

small, pointy-eared elf.

Now all I have to do is get off at

a nice, warm, tropical locale and spend

Christmas like everybody else.

That'll bring me one step closer to becoming a real boy.

This is cool.

Santa's list.

You can add one more to your list this year, Santa,

because Elmer plans on being at the receiving end for once.

Santa's magic dust!

Boy, what I could do with this.

I could have anything I ever wanted.

[sneeze]

Oh, look at that.

Oh, no.

How do you turn this thing off?

[beeping]

Got a bad feeling about this.

[music playing]

[humming]

Oh, well, Slick.

Not a lot going on tonight.

All the lonely people, where do they--

wait a minute.

That's copyrighted material.

It'd cost me dearly.

[elmer shouting]

Did you see that, Whitlock?

See what, sir?

That.

That flash of light.

No, sir, I didn't.

By chance it was your blinding wit, you arrogant windbag.

What's that, Whitlock?

Nothing, sir.

I don't know, Whitlock.

I'm going for distinguished.

What do you think? - Distinguished.

Yes.

I'll get my magic wand.

Ah.

Perhaps the hat speaks for itself.

Volumes, sir.

It speaks volumes.

It just shouts a nitwit in rented tails.

Yes.

Yes, that's it.

Nothing says respect like a top hat.

Or a sharp, pointy stick.

This is a very important meeting coming up, Whitlock.

Randolph Slick is offering to finance

my entire re-election campaign.

And all out of the goodness of his heart, no doubt.

Oh, no, no.

This is about business, one hand washing the other.

Wash your own hand.

Heaven knows where it's been.

All I have to do is remove a few zoning laws from the books.

That's not too much to ask, is it, Whitlock?

Oh, no, sir, not at all.

Tell me, is our little town being

rezoned as a military target range or a munitions dump?

Whitlock, give me more credit than that.

Why must you always think the worst?

Oh, I don't know.

Let's see.

After 12 years' faithful service, let's call it a hunch.

The new owners of Slick Plastics

will probably want to expand, introduce a whole new line

of plastic products.

Oh, it could be anything.

You'd presume a man in your position would think to ask.

When a man like Mr. Slick offers you

something for nothing, well, you don't look a gift

horse in the mouth, Whitlock.

Unfortunately, we're dealing with the opposite

of [inaudible], sir.

Not a word about this to anybody.

Mr. Slick doesn't want anybody finding out about this deal

until it's finalized.

We don't want any environmentalists or do-gooders

trying to interfere.

Too bad you're not running for governor, sir.

MAN: You say something, Whitlock?

Just breathing, sir.

Well, stop it.

It's annoying.

Ah, Burt Wellington, you've still got

it, despite what mother says.

You still got it.

I'm trying to stay upwind of it.

Call for my car, Whitlock.

Yes, sir.

Right away, sir.

Might I breathe now, sir?

WOMAN: Two days before Christmas,

and there's still no sign of snow.

You know, it says in the paper it

hasn't been this unseasonably hot in Plantville since 1929.

You say somethin', darlin'?

Oh, don't mind me.

I'm just grousin' about the weather again.

But with the plant closing down and everyone out of work,

it just doesn't seem much like Christmas.

What?

Joe, did you have to use everything in the kitchen?

Look, I'll clean it up later, OK?

Yeah, sure.

You know, with everybody wanting

my great-great-grandmother's secret recipe for orange

cranberry sauce surprise, well, that's been in our family for--

For generations.

Yeah, I know.

Well, Rebecca-- she can pass it down to her kids.

Where is Becky, anywhere?

I thought you to were going shopping.

She's buried herself in the newspaper again.

I don't even think she realizes Christmas

is just a couple days away.

She's got big dreams, Mother.

With a girl like Becky, you can't keep her in a small town

forever.

No, sir.

Our daughter was meant to do important things.

I just don't see why she can't do important things

right here in Plantville.

She wants to see the world, experience new things.

I can't blame her for feeling that there's something missing.

I know.

I'm just so proud of her I could burst.

There, there, Mother.

Now, don't start fretting yourself

before anything's happened.

It's Christmas time.

It's the heat.

It's got me all out of sorts.

You still got me.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You're going to have plenty of me around here

until the plant reopens.

It just seems like such an awful time for everyone

to be out of work.

It's never a good time to be out of work.

You know, Slick said that after the sale of the plant,

the new owners would have it up and operating by mid-January.

I sure hope you're right, dear,

because everyone in Plantville depends on Slick Plastics

for their livelihood.

Maybe that new owner will finally

listen to some of your ideas.

Good heavens.

What was that?

I don't know.

I think it was a meteor.

This weather has created all kinds of

strange atmospheric conditions.

Hey, make a wish, Mother.

I think it was a falling star.

Come on.

I wish-- oh.

Ha.

There it is.

I don't believe it.

Right here in my little town.

[music playing]

[footsteps]

WOMAN: Where'd it go?

I got it. I actually got it.

I got it on film.

If I hurry, I can make the news run it.

Please let there be film in the camera.

Please let there by film in the camera.

[chuckling]

Well, well, look what I've found.

I can't believe my luck.

I can't believe what's just fallen into my lap.

I've got a plan to hatch, money to make.

When it rains, it pours.

[chuckling]

Merry Christmas, Slick.

MAN OVER INTERCOM: Spicy enchiladas with beans.

A side note-- the infirmary will be open today until 6 o'clock.

SANTA: Eldwin!

Coming, sir!

Great leaping reindeer.

It's only 7:00 AM and already there there's a crisis.

Haven't even had my coffee yet.

SANTA: Eldwin!

On my way, sir!

I'll be putting in overtime until Groundhog Day.

SANTA: Eldwin.

Eldwin!

Yes, Santa.

What seems to be the problem?

Look around, Eldwin.

Notice anything missing?

Can't believe the sleigh is gone!

I'm sure that's why you're head elf.

Where in the name of Rudolph is the sleigh?

That's what I would like to know.

I don't think this is covered in the elf manual.

SANTA: Calm down, Eldwin.

I'm sure there's a logical explanation.

I have a sneaking feeling that a pin-headed, pointy-eared

procrastinator is behind this.

Oh, if I get my hands on that exasperating elf,

his Christmas goose is cooked.

He's not going to stand a snowman's chance

in a corner of the desert of--

SANTA: Eldwin, Eldwin, wasn't it you

who insisted that we install the new global electronic radar

tracking device?

Yeah, yeah, that was me.

It certainly seemed to be a good idea at the time.

Don't you think we should turn it on?

Turn it-- turn it on!

Right!

I'll go turn on the radar tracking device.

Good idea.

[chuckling]

MR. SLICK: You seen this?

Ah, Mr. Slick, I was just coming to see you.

Uh, there's nothing wrong, is there?

The morning paper, front page story.

MAYOR WELLINGTON: Oh, that.

It's, uh, nothing.

Some publicity stunt just to sell a bunch of newspapers.

[chuckling]

Now then, about your contribution to my campaign

fund.

How much can I put you down for?

That is why you're here, isn't it, Mr. Slick?

Uh, do you know, a cashier's check will be--

Not just yet.

There isn't a problem, is there, Mr. Slick?

Lovely little town, Plantville.

Peaceful.

Quaint.

Discreet.

Yes, lovely town.

Now, about my campaign--

Have you taken care of all the zoning restrictions

like I asked?

Yes.

Yes, everything's in the works.

Now, a personal check can do as well.

Sleek manufacturing has been steadily losing

money for the past three years.

Oh, let's face it.

No one wants to buy plastic flowers anymore.

When the Cincinnati corporation offered to purchase the land

so they could discreetly rid themselves of their, how

shall we say, toxic debris where no one

would think to look for it--

well, at least not until Plantville

starts to glow in the dark.

Yeah.

It seemed like a perfect way to make some money

back on a losing proposition.

You mean the new owner isn't going to reopen the plants?

Of course not, Wellington.

You'll be lucky if they put up a fence.

But I may have found something even better.

Better than toxic waste?

MR. SLICK: This!

MAYOR WELLINGTON: That?

A UFO?

MR. SLICK: To the contrary.

A very identifiable flying object.

To the novice eye, it's only a UFO.

But to the experienced peeper with high-powered binoculars

like me, it's a gold mine, and all you have to do

is retrieve it.

I want it bad, and I want it now.

But what is it?

Christmas.

[chuckling]

No wonder everyone loves me.

I'm a genius!

[laughter]

Well?

What are you just sitting there for?

Get someone out to that field to secure my property.

Oh, yes.

Right away, Mr. Slick.

Call me when it's done.

I'll be in a bubble bath, relieving stress.

Uh, well, what about your campaign contribution?

I was going to leave town, uh, for the holidays.

I've already made reservations.

Nonrefundable airline tickets.

Oh.

Whitlock, get the sheriff in my office now.

REBECCA: UFO spotted over Ohio farm.

The Rollins farm just outside of Plantville, Ohio,

was the target of reported UFO sightings.

Rebecca Rollins, editor of the local newspaper,

caught the nighttime phenomenon on film, creating a stir

among the town's residents.

[chuckling]

Wow, look at that.

I did it.

I'm in the national news wire.

Wow.

This is my ticket out of this dreary little one-horse town

and on to a big city paper where I can do some real good.

[music playing]

[groaning]

What happened?

I must have been out for a while.

This thing doesn't need a tracking device.

Needs a set of seat belts and an airbag.

Good thing I landed head first.

Could've been seriously hurt.

Wonder where I landed.

Wherever I am, they have cows here.

At least there's no snow.

Just leave this thing out in the middle of a field.

It's probably toys.

[music playing]

Oh, great, it's stuck.

Needs a little extra help.

[sneeze]

What is it with this stuff?

[lights zapping]

[inaudible], you stupid thing!

How do you stop this crazy thing?

[music playing]

That should hold it for a while.

So this is it, the real world.

Cool.

Pretty far-out place.

Lots of open space for me to enjoy a great Christmas

with lots of presents.

Wait a minute.

If Santa's sleigh is here, not the North Pole,

how's he going to deliver me presents?

That really snaps my suspenders.

If it's not one thing, it's another.

Where's that section on troubleshooting?

[music playing]

Hey, take it easy, will you, Hank?

This coffee's hot.

Sorry, Chief.

County maintenance shut down road work for the winter.

I guess they figured there'd be snow on the road by now.

I don't know why the mayor insisted we come out here.

Since that picture made headlines all over the country,

we're gonna be knee-deep in lookey-loos and sightseers,

and that's before breakfast.

According to the mayor, there's something out here.

He wants us to find it first.

I think the mayor had just a little bit too much holiday

cheer, and some of those pink elephants

flew right up his nose.

[chuckling]

Really?

Yeah, right up his nose.

[door closing]

Morning, Sheriff.

Morning, Joe.

[chuckling]

I suppose you saw the headlines in the morning paper.

Yeah, that girl of yours sure put our little town on the map

this time.

Got the whole town talking.

Loreen over at the diner said strangers are asking

directions to your place.

JOE: Well, I guess I'll have to throw on a big extra pot

of coffee then, huh?

SHERIFF: Say, Joe, uh, you mind if we take a little look around

before curiosity brings a bus load

of nosy neighbors this way?

No, make yourself at home.

If you find any of those little green men,

Sheriff, save one for me.

Meanwhile, I'll have Betty throw on some extra flapjacks.

- Benny. - What?

What if there really are aliens?

What do we do then?

Well, we'll just find out where

they're from and [inaudible].

Yeah, but what they don't come peaceful like?

Maybe we'll take the shotgun, just in case.

Sure.

[music playing]

Uh-oh.

The natives don't look too friendly.

This isn't covered in the manual.

Why don't you check out over in that area there?

I'm gonna see what's on top of that hill.

[music playing]

Ben!

Hey, come here.

Look, look, look!

Tracks going right into that door!

SHERIFF: I'll be.

Would you look at that?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, and look over there!

Little, tiny, pointed footprints going

right in the same direction.

This thing had better work.

[sneeze]

[music playing]

[groaning]

What?

You're not gonna believe this, Ike.

What?

You're not gonna believe it.

100,000 light years through space, and you're

not gonna believe what they're riding in.

What?

[music playing]

Ben?

Huh?

Do you see what I'm seeing?

SHERIFF: You mean that little green man on a bicycle?

Uh-huh.

No, I don't see a thing.

What do we do now, Ben?

Just follow orders, Ike.

Just follow orders.

[music playing]

[yelling]

Next time I travel, I'm taking first class

and bringing my luggage.

[music playing]

I was hoping for something a little bigger,

something with a view.

Definitely a jacuzzi.

[snoring]

[music playing]

[door opening]

Hi.

Uh, hello.

You have pointed ears.

Runs in the family.

So are you, like, related to that guy from another planet?

He has ears just like yours.

That would explain the welcoming committee.

How come you're sleeping in the play house?

Oh, I was just passing through.

Oh, I don't mind.

It's just that I haven't seen you around before.

Do you go to my school?

School?

I wish.

Lunch and recess and arts and crafts?

It'd be a lot better than working for a living.

Just try to convince the other elves of that.

[gasp]

Elf?

Really?

You're an elf?

Well, actually, yeah, I am.

I really want to be a boy, though,

but I don't think Santa understands.

You're one of Santa's elves?

That is totally cool!

Whoa whoa, whoa.

I know what you're thinking.

Santa's elves.

Hanging with the big guy all the time.

You don't know what kind of pressure there is.

Painting, wrapping.

It's full-time, nonstop responsibility.

It's exploitation, I tell you.

"Hard Copy" should do an expose.

It's not totally cool.

It's really cold out there.

I hate being an elf.

All I really want is to be a boy,

get presents at Christmas like everybody else.

So I got this book and ran away.

But a couple of guys think I'm a space alien, and here I am.

And I see the problem.

It's the ears.

Well, maybe the shoes and stuff.

Oh, I know.

Wait here.

Oh, I almost forgot. My name's Julie.

What's yours? - Elmer.

Be right back, Elmer.

[music playing]

Here.

Put these on.

Jacket belongs to my dad, but the cap and boots are mine.

Better?

You look just like a real boy.

Cool.

This might be easier than I thought.

Now all I have to do is do good deed by noon

and wish three times.

Well, you can stay here for Christmas, but we need a plan.

My dad's really nice, but he is a grownup.

That's bad?

Well, no, but sometimes when you get old--

like, more than 20--

elves just don't compute.

You mean grownups don't believe in elves?

What about Santa?

What about Christmas?

Well, it's not that they don't believe.

It's just sometimes they forget to believe.

This place is worse shape than I thought.

We'll think of something.

Dad's been working odd jobs ever since the plant closed.

Saturdays he's usually so tired he

doesn't notice much until after he's had his coffee.

What about your mom?

My mom's in heaven.

Daddy says she's an angel watching over us.

Well, that only leaves me with one major problem--

Santa's sleigh.

I sort of accidentally hijacked it to get here.

Gotta figure out how to get it back in time.

There's gonna be more than one disgruntled

boy on Christmas morning.

Good morning, Daddy.

Julie.

Um, Daddy, this is my new friend, Elmer.

He's going to be staying for breakfast.

Is that OK?

Oh, yeah.

Sure, honey.

Breakfast.

Just don't make a mess in the kitchen.

OK.

And he'll be staying for Christmas too, OK?

Uh-huh.

Told ya.

[snoring]

Elmer?

Who on Earth is Elmer?

Work?

Study?

You're kidding.

Tell me you're kidding.

I mean, you've got to work in school?

Sure, Elmer.

What'd you think, it was just all fun and games?

Well, I wasn't dreaming.

No, Daddy.

This is Elmer.

Hey, Elmer.

Julie, it's time for your medicine.

There we go.

You've got to take that every day?

Every day, twice a day.

Ew.

I don't mind.

That's good.

You're my special girl.

Elmer's special too, Daddy.

Yeah, I bet he is.

So Elmer, uh, you live around here?

Um, not exactly.

Are you just visiting for the holidays?

Yeah, that's it.

I'm just visiting for the holidays.

JULIE: Um, he's here from out of town.

Way out of town.

Yeah.

Another country, where they don't know Christmas.

MAN: Uh-huh.

So you don't mind if Elmer stays for Christmas, do you?

I mean, you know, in the spirit of foreign relations and all?

MAN: Um, sort of like a cultural exchange?

It almost seems like it'd be our patriotic duty, right?

Yeah, that's just I was thinking of.

Uh-huh.

Well, let's see.

We got about an hour before your appointment.

Uh, how would you like some hot cocoa and eggs

with that cereal, Elmer, huh?

I mean, we don't want you to think we

were bad hosts in this country.

ELMER: Sure.

I could eat a horse.

I never met a boy who couldn't.

Must be universal.

[music playing]

Oh, dear.

She's clean.

WOMAN: With Becca so preoccupied and the weather the way

it is, and half the town ignoring the holidays because

of the layoffs, I think I'm just going to forget about Christmas

and go straight into the spring cleaning.

[chuckling]

[sigh]

This place is gonna need it after they get through with it.

MAN: There's no radiation in the surrounding

areas or the fields, sir.

We checked the barn.

It's just some old household furniture,

some farm tools, and some broken down household

electrical appliances.

Hey, I've been meaning to fix those.

Just a bunch of junk, nothing special.

That's what I thought.

It's almost always a hoax.

You know how these small-town people are.

MAN: Yeah, imagine extraterrestrials

traveling to Earth looking for signs of intelligent life,

landing here.

[chuckling]

Look, do another routine sweep.

Fill out the reports.

Close out the file.

There's no UFOs here.

And let's pack it up.

Uh, we got to be in Cleveland by noon.

Housewife claims she has an alien dog

trapped in the basement.

Yes, sir.

[glass rattling]

[spraying noise]

Hey!

Hey, where you going?

I was gonna get a follow-up story!

Wow.

Mom, can you believe it?

All this excitement over my story.

When you see the power of press in action,

doesn't it just give you a chill?

Well, it gives me something, but I don't think it's a chill.

Got to get a quote from the mayor.

See ya!

[music playing]

What?

A little green man's, uh--

I heard what he said!

Have you lost your mind?

That's sure what it looked like, Mayor.

Perhaps your relatives have arrived for the holidays.

You let it get away.

What were you thinking, man?

IKE: Well, we were kind of thinking

we might be disintegrated into oblivion by some alien ray gun.

Don't let him talk again, OK?

From now on, I want him to shut up.

Oh, why don't we take turn?

You shut up first, and we go clockwise around the desk.

Can it, Whitlock.

Oh, that I could, sir.

Well, now, Mayor, we hooked up the little creature's,

uh, spacecraft and towed it to the plant, just like you said.

Then Sheriff, why don't you get out there

and find whoever it is that owns that flying contraption?

Put up an APB.

Put up a roadblock.

Send out a dragnet.

How am I supposed to do that, Mayor?

It's only Ike and I.

I don't care how you do it.

You're the sheriff.

Now get out there and find whatever

it is that's running around before I lose

my chance at being re-elected.

And make sure I get one good photo opportunity.

Re-elect Wellington, the [inaudible] people's choice.

Not a bad campaign slogan, eh?

Yeah, not bad.

SHERIFF: I thought you were gonna shut up?

MAYOR WELLINGTON: So go on.

Get out there and find me that alien or whatever it is.

I don't care if you have to leave the planet to find him.

Just when you thought it was safe to leave the door

unlocked.

Oh, uh, Mr. Slick.

I wasn't expecting you here at just this particular moment.

I, uh, was just speaking with-- the sheriff

and his deputy were just apprising me

of how the progress is, uh, going on

in-- in-- in the investigation.

Uh, Whitlock, get me a glass of water, will you?

It's-- it's hot in here.

[elevator bell ringing]

Whitlock, don't just stand there.

Get me some water.

WHITLOCK: Yes, sir, right away.

His water bowl must be empty.

May I help you, madam? - Yes.

I'm Rebecca Rollins.

I'm the editor of the "Post."

I'd like to get a quote from the mayor about the UFO sighting.

The mayor is groveling at the moment.

Would you care to wait?

Sure.

Yeah, I can wait.

Just relax for a while.

When he babbles, it always takes him so much longer.

[elevator bell ringing]

MR. SLICK: How hard can it be to find one little green man?

Those bumbling fools couldn't find each other

with a flashlight and a map.

I assure you, Mr. Slick, you have nothing to worry about.

I'm on top of it.

Roasting.

On top of it.

I don't think so.

Why don't you watch--

oh.

Excuse me, my dear.

It's all right, Mr. Slick.

Yes.

[elevator bell ringing]

Come on!

Little green man?

You know, if one were to look hard enough,

one might actually find a real story

somewhere in all this drivel.

MAYOR WELLINGTON: Whitlock!

Why is it so hot in here?

Would you mind telling the mayor that I had to leave?

Um, pressing engagement.

I live for it.

[sonar beeping]

I did it!

I found it!

- Mm, mm, what? - Yes!

There it is!

The [inaudible] glare.

Ah, good look up.

All right, according to the map,

the sleigh touched down in--

Plantville?

Ah, lovely down plant.

Mm, very quaint.

Wouldn't mind taking a vacation there someday.

I always wanted to take a tour of their plastics plant.

They are the leading producers of synthetic foliage.

I beg your pardon, sir.

Oh, you know, plastic flowers.

Fascinating.

If you say so, Santa.

But personally I prefer the real thing.

Of course, of course, but try to get

a tulip to bloom at 20 below.

I see your point.

But don't worry, sir.

I'll have helpers in the area within the hour.

They'll recover that sleigh and send it back,

along with that wayward elf.

[whistling]

Oh.

Ah, El-- Ah, Eldwin.

Impressive, aren't they, sir?

Been working with them since Thanksgiving.

And now we're ready to roll, sir!

Sir!

We're now on DELFCON two, sir!

That's tactic alert.

Mhm.

Never mind, Eldwin.

This is something I need to take care of myself.

But, sir, you can't.

Why not?

It's not hear of.

It's Christmas.

You can't just leave and trail off

after some selfish inconsiderate elf.

Eldwin, I'm surprised at you.

Elmer's a member of the family.

Everyone's entitled to sow a wild oats now and again.

But he's jeopardized this entire Christmas.

What if something happens?

What if you don't make it back in time?

We've got things to do.

Eldwin, you're my most loyal and qualified elf.

You've always taken care of everything.

I have every confidence in your ability to handle

anything that comes up.

And I'll be back before you know it.

[laughter]

And we will discuss your elf patrol when I get back.

[laughter]

I know I should taken that desk job with the Easter Bunny.

The tree looks beautiful.

Now, momma, don't put too much sugar in that.

Oh, Joe.

Glad that you're back.

I made this list of all the last minute things

we have to do before the party for the kids

from the cancer ward.

And we've got to get started on our special Christmas cookies.

You know, we better bake about six dozen.

They go like hot cakes.

Oh, sorry, can't mom.

I've got to stay on top of this story.

I think it could be better than I thought.

But even the government man said there's

nothing left to investigate.

No, I overheard something that could be great.

You see, it's all about timing with these big city papers.

I finally have their attention.

All the cards have been dealt in my favor.

If I want to ante up with the big boys,

I have got to play my ace.

You cannot beat those odds.

Well, let's place our bets.

I think she's got the winning ticket.

Hmm, that smells good.

Yeah.

That's because she takes after you.

Yes, I'd like to speak to the managing editor of the New

York National Reporter, please.

Yeah, this is Rebecca Rollins calling.

Your paper carried my coverage on this morning's national news

story about the UFO sighting.

Well, yeah, I have a resume.

It's right here in my bedroom.

I mean, my office.

I came fax that to you in 10 minutes.

Well, thank you.

Thank you.

Goodbye.

Ahh, yes!

Hey, Becky, I just whipped up a big batch

of my orange cranberry sauce surprise.

Well, you better take it easy on the peach brandy pot

because you have the only 80 proof condiment in town.

That was my secret ingredient.

How did she know?

Joe, everyone knows.

Your orange cranberry sauce surprise is 20% cranberries

and 80% sauce, surprise.

[cracking]

See anything, you and Ike?

No.

Are you sure he went this way?

Yes, deputy.

I'm sure he went his way.

Now, let's find those tracks.

Move it, deputy.

[camera shutter]

Yeah, yeah.

If you could please have Dr. Price call me.

It's very important.

Daddy.

Yeah, thank you.

Yeah, honey.

Why are Sheriff Ben and Deputy Ike

crawling around in our yard?

What?

I don't know.

Seems like they're looking for something.

They're coming this way.

It's probably widow Delaney's cat got out again.

She keeps putting antlers on them like a reindeer.

I don't blame them for taking off.

Will you give me a little room, please?

And take off those glasses.

Excuse me.

[knocking]

Good morning, Sheriff, Deputy.

Good morning, Rick.

Delaney's cat get out again?

Huh?

Oh, no, no.

Not this time.

We just stopped by to--

well, we're sort of checking the area to see if anyone has seen

anything out of the ordinary.

Yeah, about this high, green, riding a bicycle.

Green?

Afraid not. - Oh.

But if I see anything green go by on a Schwinn,

I'll give you a call.

Ah, we'd appreciate that, yeah.

Well, Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas to you too.

Oh yeah Merry--

Come on, Ike.

What's the matter with you, Ben?

He's hiding something.

Whoa.

What?

What?

You just kind of knew that, didn't you?

Yeah.

Yeah, like you've got a sixth sense or something, huh?

- Yeah, well. - You're amazing.

What do we do now, Ben?

Hide and watch, deputy.

Hide and watch.

Hide and watch.

Let's go.

Jolie.

Jolie.

Hey.

Come here.

I want to talk to you.

I've got a funny feeling the Sheriff's looking for Elmer.

Elmer ran away from home, didn't he?

He sort of ran away.

That's not why they're looking for him.

Jolie, somebody must be very worried about Elmer.

You don't understand, daddy.

You see, Elmer's-- he's just special.

Hey, come here.

Hey, now, I know you want to help Elmer,

but sometimes it's not easy to tell

what's right from what's wrong, especially

when it's your friend.

Why don't you let me talk to him.

He's gone, daddy.

Only one of us have Christmas.

I hope he comes back.

So do I, little one.

Oh, there's knobs and tiles and switches.

What the heck is this thing here?

Oh, it feels kind of good in my hand.

Look, I can see myself.

I want to slick you up, beautiful.

This-- this is beautiful.

Once I get my hands on the Navigator

of this convertible monstrosity, hello Christmas!

[maniacal laughter]

Take me where I want to go!

I'm dancer.

I'm pancer.

I'm Fido, Spock, what ever the heck your names are,

take me there!

Hm, looks like the Sheriff didn't quite buy my story.

[car starts]

[music playing]

What a lucky girl, door to door service.

Hey, let's go, sweetie.

Nurse, where is my wheelchair, huh?

WOMAN 1: (OVER SPEAKER) Attention x-ray,

your pictures are ready.

Though she is a very good girl.

She can have a double portion of her favorite ice cream.

Mint chocolate chip.

Mint chocolate chip.

And where do you think you're going?

Official business, ma'am.

I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to step aside.

Well, you better call for backup.

Ma'am, excuse me, but there's someone really important we

have to see in there right now.

Then have a seat.

And when they're through, I'll let them know

you're waiting to see them.

Thank you.

WOMAN 1: (OVER SPEAKER) Would the surgical resident

acquiring silverware, please return it to the kitchen

before lunch.

Thank you.

- Ben? - What?

What?

Hmm, hmm.

He gets.

Doesn't he look familiar, Ben?

Yeah.

Now that you mention it, it does look a little like somebody.

Just can't quite put my finger on who.

Maybe we saw him on the post office.

Maybe he's wanted.

I don't know.

I don't know.

But I think he's after the same thing we are.

What do we do, Ben?

Ditch it.

Oh, you're so smart, Ben.

I don't want to go.

Come on.

Come on.

Go, go, go.

Can you hear it?

Yeah.

[heart beating]

Does everyone's heart sound like that?

Well, yours sort of beats to its own rhythm,

but we're going to fix that soon.

Could we talk outside?

Sure.

OK, I'll be right back.

You'll be OK for a minute, honey?

Mhm.

Love you.

Elmer.

Come out now, Elmer.

How did you know I was here?

Your galoshes squeak a little.

Even when I look like a real boy,

I'm still getting into trouble.

Want to listen?

[heart beating]

Cool, you've got a calypso thing.

The doctor wants to keep her overnight for observation.

I had a feeling.

I brought her stuff.

Why don't we hear from Dr. Price?

There's got to be a way to get his attention.

He's the only one that can really help her.

Well, I have a new plan.

I'm going to inundate his office with email

every five minutes until he responds.

Rick, I can be a pretty hard woman to ignore.

Thanks.

I was worried about you, Elmer.

I thought that they had found you

and you were going to miss Christmas.

They followed me here, but I gave them the slip.

You're going to get to make your Christmas wish.

I promise.

Now.

Oops, busted.

Elmer, how'd you get here?

Daddy, please don't make Elmer leave.

He needs our help.

Please, daddy, please.

Shh, shh, Jolie.

It's all right, don't get excited.

Elmer can stay for now.

Promise?

Yeah, I promise.

But I need the truth.

You have to tell me where Elmer belongs.

Daddy, Elmer's special because he's

really one of Santa's elves.

I see.

No, daddy. It's true.

You can even ask him. - OK, all right, baby.

You just promise to take it easy.

I promise.

Will you mail this for me?

Just sort of a follow-up letter.

You don't think I'm too late, do you?

Nope.

I'm sure it will get to Santa on time.

OK, let's get you settled.

I'll be right outside, baby.

Come on, how do you know--

Come on, honey.

I don't care.

I don't want you, mom.

Timmy, you still want that astro robot warrior

you asked for for Christmas?

Yeah.

Don't push your luck, son.

Why does Jolie have to stay here?

Because the doctors have to keep an eye on her

for a little while.

She needs a new heart, Elmer.

And the doctors wanted her to get

a little older, grow a little bigger,

but now she may not be able to wait.

But if she can then they're going to give her a new heart

anyway, right?

Well, she's on a list.

She's on a very long list.

And the doctor in Miami who can help her is very, very busy.

I didn't know it'd be so hard to be a kid.

I remember this.

Christmas two years ago.

Dear Eldwin taught me to make animals.

One ear's a little shorter than the other.

She really likes this rabbit?

She can't go to sleep without it.

Never knew it would mean so much.

Some things are very important to Jolie, especially Christmas.

And she really believes you're one of Santa's elves.

I don't want her to be disappointed, Elmer.

Do you?

I think a lot of kids might be disappointed.

I think you better set things right with her.

Yeah, this isn't turning out to be one of the best plans.

Mr. Evans, do you believe in Christmas?

Sometimes it isn't easy.

OK, Elmer, get the let out.

It's Christmas Eve.

You've got to get Santa's sleigh back to the North Pole

or Jolie will be so disappointed.

I've got three hours left to do a good deed if you

want to become a real boy.

You're hiding something, Rick Evans.

Oh, I'm fine.

Thank you very much for asking.

And how are you today, Rebecca?

What's the scoop, Rick?

How'd you find out about him?

I'm a reporter, remember?

Come on, I mean, you don't really think

this is newsworthy, do you?

Are you kidding.

This is my shot at more national headlines, front page photos.

A chance like this comes once in a lifetime.

This is my shot at the big time.

Big time, what are you talking about?

Don't hold out on me, Rick?

Besides, if the Sheriff, his deputy, the mayor,

and Randolph Slick are all after this little alien, well,

then, so am I.

Alien?

Why not.

Jolie thinks he's an elf.

An elf.

Yes, sounds almost as ridiculous as alien.

Look, Rebecca, all I'm trying to do

is keep my daughter's new friend, Elmer, out of trouble.

And then find some way to get the attention of a doctor

in Miami before it's too late.

My daughter needs a new heart.

Who's Elmer?

What's that look for?

You've been talking to my dad, haven't you?

I didn't know you were so sick.

I feel OK.

I've got to figure out how to get

Santa's sleigh back, some how.

What about your wish?

We don't have much time left.

No, no, no! No pictures!

That will ruin everything.

Run, Elmer, run!

That's him!

Which way did he go?

Who?

The alien.

The-- the elf.

Elmer?

Whatever.

Did he come this way?

She's gone.

Jolie's gone.

Oh, no.

She's gone after him.

Got ya!

[screaming]

Santa's sled!

There's no time.

Open the truck.

I've got him.

Hurry up, Ike.

Get in!

Get in!

We've got him.

We've got him.

We've got him.

Let's get out of here.

Now they made me angry.

Randolph Slick, I should have known.

Been on my naughty list since you were 12 years old.

Well, I'll be.

You've got yourself into a fine mess this time.

Ahh, yes!

This is it, my big photo opportunity.

Sheriff, would you do the honors?

Stand up, you.

Well, what do you think, this my good side?

Oh, very nice, mayor.

Where is Whitlock when you need him.

Take several, I'm going to use these for campaign posters.

Of course, one for mommy, she'll like that.

But what about Christmas?

What about all the kids who won't have presents?

Deputy, I assure you I haven't the faintest

idea what you're talking about.

He's talking about me stealing Christmas.

No sleigh, no presents.

And you, you unlucky little gnome,

I'll use you to ransom all the presents for myself.

And the entire world will know what it's like not to receive

Christmas presents, like I did.

[whimper]

Oh, well, as long as it doesn't involve me.

Oh, that reminds me, cash would be fine.

Actually, there's been a change in plans.

I beg your pardon.

I've decided not to sell the land for toxic waste.

I've decided to turn the whole plant into a memorial.

The entire world will buy a ticket to see Santa's

Sleigh and the last elf.

The demise of Christmas will be historic.

And my name will be on everyone's lips.

But you--

But what about our deal?

You can't do this!

On the contrary, I can do anything.

I'm Randolph P. Slick.

And I don't need you anymore.

Merry Christmas.

Wait!

I can sell tickets.

I'll make all of my relatives buy one.

I have a very large family.

How do you think I got to be mayor?

Slick, come back here!

I don't know, Ben.

I don't like this.

I don't like this at all.

You just keep an eye on him.

Oh, dear.

Oh, dear.

Why did I ever let him go alone?

Oh, dear.

We should be loading by now.

It's Christmas Eve.

No Sleigh.

No Santa.

If I don't hear from something soon,

I may have to cancel Christmas.

How am I ever going to fix this one?

Oh.

I'll be voted out of the Elves Lodge.

I'll have to turn in my hat.

Oh, dear, oh, dear.

Psst, Elmer.

Psst.

Jolie, what are you doing here?

You're supposed to be in the hospital.

They don't keep you.

You only have two hours left.

Jolie, Mr. Slick is planning on ruining Christmas.

He's not going to give the sleigh back.

And he's going to make Santa give

up all the Christmas presents.

We have to stop him.

I was so sure they'd come back here.

Where could they be?

This is all my fault.

Rick, if I hadn't taken that picture of Elmer,

he never would have run off.

I was just thinking of myself.

Rick, we're going to find him.

[sigh]

[honking]

What's that?

Looking for an elf and the little girl?

Come with me.

I can't leave without Santa's sleigh.

Hey!

Ben.

Hey, Ben.

They got loose.

What are you doing, Ike!

Wait, wait, wait!

[grunting]

Which way are they going?

[grunting]

There they go!

Wait!

[screaming]

There they are!

Wait a minute!

[grunting]

[crashing]

[grunting]

Hey!

Whoa!

Jolie, are you OK?

You have to help us!

We've got to go!

Come on!

My gosh, he really is an elf.

No.

No pictures.

Everyone finds out Elmer's an elf,

he won't be able to make his wish.

I need to do a good deed.

Why would Slick do this?

He wants to steal Christmas, daddy.

Yeah, instead of selling the plant into a toxic waste site,

he's going to make it into a memorial.

And people will buy tickets to see what's left of Christmas.

Me.

Toxic waste site.

What happened to reopening the plant?

That must be the story that Whitlock's been talking about.

Stand back.

Straighten it out, Elmer.

Where do you think that laundry driver went?

I don't know, but we've got to get out of here.

How do you find a good deed for an elf by half past noon.

When in doubt, ask another elf.

Let's get out of here, Elmer.

Let's go.

Oh, I don't know which is left or right.

See if you can figure that out.

Every year we've been through this.

Mom, dad.

Could you use another elf who needs to do a good deed?

Oh.

He's real.

And you're in charge of gifts.

Children, Santa is working very hard preparing for his busiest

night of the year, so he sent us his favorite elf

to bring these special gifts.

Me?

Yes, you.

You still have a few minutes left to do a good deed.

Do I get one?

Do I get one?

Wow!

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

You did a good deed, Elmer.

Now you can make your Christmas wish and become a real boy.

Well, I think my good deed will slip by in a technicality,

but something still doesn't feel right.

I still got Santa's sleigh.

I wish Santa was here.

He'd know what to do.

I'm never far away, Elmer.

Santa, how'd you get here?

Two buses, a plane, and a laundry truck.

Oh my gosh.

[camera shutter]

I really made a mess of things this time, huh, Santa?

Now there won't be any Christmas.

Nonsense, Elmer.

Ground, no one can stop Christmas, not even Mr. Slick.

--over there having a good time without my permission.

Someone has stolen my sleigh and my little elf.

I beg your pardon.

That's my sleigh and that is my elf.

Ow, ow, ow.

At least for the moment.

But-- But I--

You've been a pain ever since the seventh grade,

Randolph Percival Slick, a toxic waste dump, really?

Stealing my sleigh and holding Elmer here for ransom.

You've really done it this time, Randy.

That plastics plant is going to reopen as planned.

And I think we're going to be turning out

toys, lots and lots of toys.

My elves could use the help.

[cheering]

It'll never happen!

Never happen!

And if I get one bad report, I'm

going to send Eldwin and his elf patrol down here to kick some,

you know what.

Got it? - Yes, sir.

And as mayor, I can assure you,

Santa, if Mr. Slick has any other shenanigans

up his sleeve, well, I'll be sure to tell you first.

As mayor it's my duty and my privilege

to see to the protection of these fine citizens

of this fine town.

And as I'm re-elected, I promise you all a chicken in every pot,

a car in every garage--

You put a sock in it, you old wind bag.

Are you talking to me?

Nobody else is blubbering.

Oh, by the way, I quit.

Quit?

You can't quit.

How will I ever run a reelection campaign?

With any luck, it will be impossible.

Merry Christmas, you old toad.

[laughter]

[applause]

And I think this belongs to a friend of yours.

Now I know what you meant about giving, Santa.

The gift I really want to give I can't.

Never say I can't. You have to believe.

There's nothing left.

I wasted it.

Santa, I'm no good with magic.

It always seems to backfire.

This is just way too important.

Well, this bag is nothing but tinsel and stardust.

True magic comes from in here.

Always has.

You have to believe to have more magic.

Hmm, don't think with your head, think with your heart.

How can I best help Jolie?

I'd give her my heart if I could.

I just wish that doctor in Miami would make time for her,

to see how special she is.

And who's going to pay attention to some boy like me?

Right.

Oh, boy.

Wait.

I'm not a boy.

I'm an elf.

I'm an elf.

I'm a short, pointy-eared elf from the North Pole.

Who could ignore a live honest to gosh elf?

But what about your wish, Elmer?

It's half past 2:00, you have to make a wish right now.

Not now, I won't be special anymore.

You have to decide now, Elmer.

Elmer.

Jolie, you're my only best friend.

Would you still like me if I'm not a real boy?

Of course, Elmer.

I knew you'd change your mind.

Besides, I feel extra special when my best friend is an elf.

What did you wish for?

Well, let's just say that doctor in Miami

will never know what hit him when he sees

the Christmas day headline.

Say cheese.

Well, I got to go.

I've got a deadline.

This is the biggest story the Plantville Post has ever seen--

that anybody has ever seen.

So I guess you can look for your name in the big city

headlines for sure.

Well, maybe not right away.

There are a lot of really important things for me

to write about right here.

Well, folks, we're going to have to be leaving.

Oh, I almost forgot.

Your letter, I received it there, Jolie.

This is what you asked for.

A present for me, really?

I love it.

It reminds me of home.

I thought it might.

Well, when I left home Rudolph had the sniffles,

and that always affects his aim, even

with the new radar and stuff.

So I'm going to be needing a navigator this trip.

You think you'd like the job, Elmer?

Me?

See the world?

Mhm.

You bet.

I guess this means goodbye.

Promise to visit?

I'll be there when you get your new heart.

Well, folks, we have to be taking off.

Oh, Santa, I want you to try some of my surprise sauce.

Thank you.

Bye, everybody.

Bye, everybody.

We have toys to deliver.

Bye, Elmer.

Bye, Santa.

Merry Christmas, everyone.

Merry Christmas to you too.

[flying off]

Look at that.

Oh, that's beautiful.

It's snowing.

You picked a great spot, honey.

Yeah, perfect place to recuperate.

You were right, Elmer.

A vacation in the sun should be mandatory

for every one of my elves.

No snow.

Oh, oh, I'm turning pink.

[sneeze]

[laughter]

[music playing]