Original subtitles

On the first day of Christmas, my true

love gave to me a tree in a pear tree.

On the second day of Christmas, my true

love gave to me two turtle and ar.

>> Hey, taxi.

Taxi. Ah, come on. HEY, TAXI. YOU GOING

UP TOWN?

HEY, FELLA. TAXI.

HEY, stop that girl. Hey, stop that

girl. COME BACK HERE. GET THAT GIRL.

SOMEBODY. HEY, SOMEBODY STOP THIS GIRL.

>> OKAY. Give it back. GIVE IT BACK. FOLLOW

ME.

>> Come on,

>> Gibbs. Look back.

>> Okay, what seems to be the problem here?

She took my wallet. Oh, come on, fella.

Look, you're just a little kid and a bad

little kid by the looks of it.

>> I want my mommy.

>> Honey, uh, where is your money?

>> SHE DEAD.

>> COME ON.

>> WELL, I have a heart. It's Christmas Eve

here.

>> Listen, you're not going to do anything

about it.

>> I don't have your stinking wallet.

Listen, why don't you search her? It'll

be the only way to satisfy this

gentleman.

>> No, no.

>> Honey, look, I'm sorry, but can you turn

out your pockets for me? Huh? Please

>> open your coat.

>> See, nothing up my sleeve.

>> Well, she must have dumped it.

>> Look, sir, I believe you, but there's

nothing we can do without the wallet.

>> Nothing you can do. I pay your salary.

Yeah, well, how about a raise? All

right, everybody. Let's break it up.

Time to go home. Have a good day. Merry

Christmas. Hey, honey.

You got some place where you can go to?

>> Uh-huh.

>> All right, you go home now and don't you

worry about that mean man. Okay.

>> Thank you, Mr. Police Officer.

>> It's all right.

Come on, Bill. What are you getting so

upset about?

>> Ah, come on. Come on.

Hey, nice work

>> here.

>> How' we do?

>> Um,

not bad.

>> Pretty good.

>> I'm guessing the guy was 46.

I say 43.

>> Date of birth 655. That means 42 and a

half. Not bad, Paty.

>> Wa. Nice picture, pal. Looks like you

just stepped in something.

Okay, come on. Let's go find a mailbox.

>> On the first day of Christmas, my true

love gave to me

>> a bike. a bike. Well, you're very sure

of yourself and of Santa, too.

>> Um, I know he'll bring me one. I asked

him.

>> On the second day of Christmas, my true

love gave to me to what?

>> Uh, some kind of bird.

>> Some kind of bird and a bite.

On the third day of Christmas, my true

love gave to me three, two, and a

partridge in a pear tree.

>> Let's see. Gas bill's covered. Still a

little shy of the rent. That leaves only

$40 for the escape fund. Nope. 15. Need

to stay out a little longer today.

>> Aunt Trish.

>> Yeah. If Santa sees me when I'm sleeping

and when I'm awake, that means he sees

me when I'm stealing, too, right?

>> Well, honey, I don't think Santa minds,

cuz what we do isn't really stealing.

>> It isn't.

>> No, we only take money from people who

can afford it. We sort of help them

share.

>> But didn't they work for their money?

>> We're working, too. We have very highly

developed skill that we've worked years

to perfect. Now eat your chili dog.

>> Wait a minute. Is that Uncle Mill?

>> Oh no. Damn. Lucy.

>> Oh, come on. Let's go.

Don't don't talk. Just look ahead. Eat

at no.

>> What happened to your hand?

>> I'll explain later.

>> They're gone.

>> How much are you on to them this time?

>> I don't owe them anything.

>> Uhhuh.

>> I made an investment in my future, which

unfortunately danked.

>> And this?

>> Well, I got uh slammed in a door several

times. At least I get to pay him back

when I can't even plan my trade.

>> How you doing, Pepsi?

>> And uh

you're looking very fine as usual.

>> I'll go pay the bill.

>> So months go by, I don't hear from you.

You move, you change your number. I'm

thinking maybe she's playing hard to

get.

>> Oh, that's right. Now I'm sitting by the

phone looking at your picture.

>> The one where I'm holding up the

numbers. That's very nice.

>> I got to go.

>> So, you must be scoring big time, huh?

Christmas Eve, the crowds. How about I

borrow a patchy for a few days? I I can

still work props. Not that I'm strapped

or anything, but uh you know, for uh old

time sake.

>> Old time's sake. Mel, you and I were an

aberration.

>> Oh, thanks.

>> When I do think of our time together,

it's with regret and disbelief that

anyone, let alone me, could have been

that long.

>> So, you do think about me. Goodbye, Mel.

>> Excuse me. Are you looking for a weird

guy in Chibi fan suit?

>> Seen him.

>> Hey guys, GUY'S A NO. GET BACK HERE.

HEY.

>> Come on.

Attention

Christmas shoppers. Don't miss our Day

Before Christmas red ribbon sale on

Women's Jewelry going on now.

Young man, do these come in green?

>> I'm sorry. I'm not really the piano

player.

>> Hey,

>> do these come in green?

>> Hey, Bert. Pain on the neck draw on

Christmas Eve, huh?

>> I got nothing else to do.

>> Yeah. What about you? You going to see

your family?

>> Uh, wife wants me home early. There's

some Christmas movie on TV she wants to

see.

>> They're always so sappy. They should

make a Christmas movie about guys like

us.

>> Now, that'd be a good movie. I'd stay

home and watch a movie like that.

Attention

shoppers, for a limited time only, all

housewares will be reduced an additional

10%. Don't miss our housewear sale.

>> Well, I'll bring you what you want.

>> Hey, B. Shoot anybody today?

>> What? Cuz I take my job seriously?

>> Well, it wouldn't hurt you to lighten up

a little.

>> Lighten up? You want to know why this

world's going down the drain? Because

everybody's lightened up. Stolen handbag

here, missing lipstick there. Oh, no big

deal. Next thing you know, there's blood

flowing in the street. Well, not on my

shift. We are the thin maroon line

between morality and chaos in the star

and you want me to lighten up.

>> Sanders and Golden.

>> You guys are both working at 31st.

>> Happy New Year.

>> I don't mind people being jerks except

when they enjoy it so much. I got

nothing else to do.

>> Oh, excuse me.

>> Good morning, Mr. Morning.

>> Morning, sir.

>> Good morning.

>> Excuse me, Mr. Lind. Hi, Elbert Sanders

Security. I was wondering if you got

that tape I sent you, sir.

>> Yes, thanks Sanders. Merry Christmas to

you.

>> No, no, it was a music tape, sir.

Actually, excuse me.

>> Don't miss out on our special turkey

lunch in our cafeteria. Only $4.99.

>> Hey, Nick.

>> I got a possible probably nothing and

handbags.

>> Yeah.

>> Good morning, Mr. Lmber.

>> Good morning. Oh,

my wife would just love that. Did that

just come in?

>> No, Mr. Lmber. It's been here all

season.

>> Have they been selling well?

>> Oh, they're selling very well.

Let me take a look at that ax.

>> There you go, sir.

>> You should move them to the front. So,

>> yes, sir.

>> Let me just get a whiff of

>> Mick. We got a lift and drop shaping up

here. Female suspect with red coat and

handbags. I'll stick with her. Second

suspect's female blonde hair. Age

approximately

seven.

>> Seven.

>> That's right. You got her. She's in

cosmetics.

>> Yeah, but Burr, come on.

Take a look at that picture.

>> Yes, I'm going to have one of those.

>> They are beautiful.

>> I'm sorry.

>> Will you be paying for that sir?

>> Of course. The uh store charge

my wallet.

>> There it is.

>> Where is it? Hand it over.

>> Coming through. Coming through.

Everything just fine. Everything's mine.

>> I found that

>> right here on the floor.

>> Is that yours?

>> Put those away, Sanders.

>> Yeah, put those away.

>> Let's take care of this as quietly as

possible. Okay, let's get these people

to security. Go, go, go, go.

>> Okay, come on.

>> Okay, folks. No problem. Just go about

your shopping. No problem. Merry

Christmas.

>> No problem.

>> No problem. Everything just fine.

>> Thank god it's all here.

>> Everything okay, sir?

>> No problem.

Don't worry, honey. Everything's going

to be all right. I promise.

>> Like I said, I found the wallet on the

floor. I was just picking it up.

>> Right. And you? You're on your way to an

Annie audition?

>> Annie has red hair.

>> Name?

>> I don't have to answer anything, do I?

>> It'll go a lot easier for you if you

cooperate.

>> Patricia Tracy. This is Paty. Tracy.

>> Pat and Paty. Huh? That's That's cute.

>> My sister named her after me.

>> And where is your sister? Dead

>> father

>> might as well be.

>> You're the legal guardian.

>> Yeah.

>> Age

>> six.

>> Not her. Are you?

>> 29.

>> Aren't you ashamed of yourself?

>> All right. I'm 30.

>> I mean about the kid. I mean, what kind

of a life is this for her? H how do how

do you look at yourself in the mirror in

the morning?

>> What's so special about your life? Huh?

Picking on people. Just trying to make a

living.

>> You call this a living?

>> It's a skill we've worked very hard to

develop.

Py,

thank you.

>> Security,

right? They want him up in Limber's

office. I'm

>> glad you think so. His numbers.

>> Wait a minute. The police.

>> Hey, Bert. How's your brother?

>> How should I know, Jack? You see him

more than I do.

>> You're not actually going to press

charges, are you?

>> Of course I am. Can't let people like

you get away with things like this.

>> Well, I didn't get away with anything. I

found a wallet and he got it back.

Nobody got hurt.

>> You didn't tell me there was a kid

involved. That's a whole another ball of

wax. How you doing, sweetie? Yeah, I got

a little girl about your age. Well, I

better call social services.

>> He's 48, don't you think, Trish?

>> Uh,

are you 48?

>> How'd you know that?

>> Not now, honey.

>> Single mother, I bet. On welfare,

actually. Now, that's what's wrong with

this world. I most certainly am pressing

charges, young lady. And if I have my

way, this child will be put into a good

home with a good family, away from an

influence like you.

>> No, it's okay, honey. He can't do that.

>> Oh, I can and I will.

>> You're a real prince, aren't you?

>> Nah, this isn't working.

Nobody's answering. They've already left

for the holidays. Look, I take him in

now. They're going to split him up. The

little girl stays in custody over

Christmas. Is that what you want?

>> Look, I don't care what happens to me,

but please don't do this to her, okay?

You want my advice? We all look the

other way and they walk.

>> Uh, it is Christmas, sir.

>> Well, no one can say A.E. Limber doesn't

get into the Christmas spirit.

>> Officer, come back at 9:00 the day after

Christmas. You can arrest them then.

>> What?

>> Mr. Lmber. Uh, that's

>> How you going to get them to show up?

Ask him real nice.

>> Well,

one of my employees will look after you.

>> Me? Mr. Limer.

>> Make sure they're here Friday morning.

Stay with them over the holidays.

>> Here. in a store.

>> That's ridiculous.

>> No, no, we wouldn't expect you to do

that. Take them home with you.

>> Just a minute.

>> Now, Mr. Mr. Limber, with all due

respect, sir. It is a holiday and and

>> Yes. Yes. You'll be paid holiday salary.

Union mercenaries.

>> I'm not talking about the money here,

Mr. Lmber. If you don't mind my saying

so, I think it is a little above and

beyond.

>> You say that again,

>> yes, sir.

>> Is this man seasonal or permanent?

>> Permanent, sir.

>> Well, I'd like to see him stay that way.

understand.

>> You can't do this. I refuse to go home

with anybody. Now,

>> these are your options, young lady.

Either you go home with Mr.

>> Sanders, sir.

>> Sanders, or you can both go to jail

right now.

>> This stinks.

If I knew any lawyers, I' I'd call every

one of them twice.

>> Very well. See everyone here at 9:00

December 26th.

Merry Christmas.

This stinks.

>> Merry Christmas. Jeez, Bert.

How's

>> your chell? Just swell.

>> Yeah, tell me about it.

>> Oh, what are you planning to do with

those? I promise you, we're not going to

run away.

>> Yeah, and I believe in Santa, too.

>> So do I.

>> Okay, what'll it take? 100 bucks. 300.

We walk that way, you look that way.

>> You think everyone could be bought, huh?

I'm not for sale.

>> Okay. Lost wages, pain and suffering,

5,000 bucks. Take it and let us go.

>> You make that kind of money picking

pockets. Wow.

>> Does that mean you'll take it?

>> No. No. This is a matter of principle

involved here.

>> So, you're going to put a six-year-old

in handcuffs

>> and a 29-year-old, too?

>> Not too tight, please. I bruise.

>> All right. All right. You promise not to

run away. I promise

>> not to run away.

>> We're not going to run away.

>> Promise.

I promise.

>> Come on.

>> NO, ANDREW. YOU PROMISED HIM. YOU

PROMISED.

>> You promised him.

>> Come on. Come on.

He's hurt. We can't just leave him

there. We promise he's

>> Oh, Jesus.

>> My guy B. I'm sorry.

>> Are you okay?

>> She's okay.

>> Good. Good girl, Paty.

>> Hey, Bri, you need a hand?

>> No thanks. This is my collar.

Tough guy.

>> I swear to God, come Friday morning, I'm

going to sue you and your store and

everybody.

>> How's your nose?

>> It looks like Rudolph.

>> Where are we going?

>> My place. Just a few blocks from here.

>> No, no, no, no. We are not spending the

night in a strange apartment without at

least getting patties.

>> PJs and toothbrush.

>> Yeah. And I can't sleep without Mr.

Peeps.

>> Mhm.

>> All right. We go to your place. We pick

up a few things.

>> All right. Come on.

>> Okay, I'm coming. YOU DON'T HAVE TO.

>> IF WE RUN, we can catch a taxi around

the corner.

>> Yeah. Why don't we walk and catch a bus?

>> Come on.

>> Taxi.

>> Bus.

>> Yeah, that's true.

>> I don't understand. If Santa lives in

North Pole, how can he live in

Maplewood, too?

>> I think he just keeps an office there.

>> Oh,

>> you're not even sorry for what you did,

are you?

>> For picking pockets, trying to run away,

or almost breaking your nose.

>> Take your pick.

>> Well, I'm sorry we got caught, if that's

what you mean. Christmas is supposed to

be a time of compassion. Don't you feel

the least bit sorry for us?

>> Look, lady, you choose a life of crime,

you got to take the consequences.

>> A life of crime? I'm not a member of the

Gambino family here. We just pick a few

pockets of people who can afford it. We

never steal from the poor. We only take

cash, not credit cards. And we mail the

wallet pack right away. Oh,

>> you sure have her brainwashed. Don't you

feel awful using a little kid like this?

>> She does not use me. And my brain is not

washed.

>> It's all right, honey. Settle down.

>> Well, he shouldn't say that about you.

>> I've heard worse.

>> Now, Paty will never get her operation.

>> What do you her operation? Somebody

>> there's a specialist in Berlin who

thinks he can help her, but it's very

expensive.

>> Are you? No, you're not. Are you? Come

on. Really?

>> No. No. Don't. She gets self-conscious.

You think I would do this otherwise?

>> I can't believe you're so full of it.

>> You know,

>> I had you going

Can you take these off now, please?

>> You want my trust, earn it?

>> Oh, ye of little faith.

>> Hey, can you help me out with some spare

change?

>> Yeah, yeah, sure. Christmas partner.

>> Oh, thanks a lot, man.

>> Cute. Cute. You

>> want company now?

>> That was good. You did that.

Nice. Nice. Great place to raise a kid.

>> Wow.

>> This is very nice. What you do? Do all

this stuff, too?

>> We're not burglars. We're pickpockets.

>> Oh, sorry. I didn't mean to offend you,

>> Paty. We can only stay a few minutes.

Honey, why don't you uh get your

bathroom stuff, okay? And something to

wear tomorrow.

Oh, Aunt Trish, I just thought of

something. How's Santa going to find us?

He won't know where to put my bike. And

if our stockings are here,

>> don't worry, honey. Santa will find us.

He knows everything.

Why don't you get our stockings down?

Okay, we'll take those.

>> Okay,

>> Mr. Sanders, can I talk to you for a

minute?

All right, look. Albert.

>> Bert, please. Nobody calls me Albert.

>> All right, Bert. Don't you get it? This

might be our last Christmas together.

Come Friday, they're going to take her

away from me.

>> I'm sorry, lady. The law is a law.

>> Look, I know I've made some mistakes

with her. I admit that. And if I'm sorry

about anything, it's

all right. How's this? You stay here.

That way, you can keep an eye on us and

we still get to have Christmas.

>> No, I got plans tomorrow. And you're

staying at my apartment and that's all

there is to it.

>> All right. All right then, Buster. You

tell me. What am I supposed to do about

this?

>> Any ideas about how we're going to sneak

that up town without her noticing?

>> Well, we can't. You're just going to

have to leave it here.

>> Jeez. I've met some major need Scrooge

in my time. You, mister, are the

Scroogiest.

B humb.

Okay, come on. Let's go.

>> HEY, HEY, HEY, COME ON. I'M NOT JOKING

AROUND. IF YOU DON'T COME OUT of here,

I'll be very angry.

You promised.

>> Paty, tell her to come out of there. She

promised.

>> Hi, this is Trish. Leave a message.

>> Uh-huh. Uh-huh. I got your answer

machine. This is your voice. I got your

number. I know where you live. I'm on my

way over. I need a favor. I know you

won't let me down.

You're right. We promised.

>> You're very odd.

>> Hey, taxi.

>> Thank you.

>> Hey, man. 55 Broom Street, please.

>> It's going to cost a fortune. I don't

see why we couldn't take a bus.

>> Well, you're making double time on

account of us splurge.

Okay, I got your number now, lady. Give

me the keys.

>> What?

>> The keys to your place. That way, even

if you do get away, you got no place to

go.

>> I'm on to you, pal. Police Academy

turned you down, right?

>> How did you know that? Did one of the

guys at work tell you that?

>> I'm right.

>> Just drop it. All right.

>> That's certainly

>> cut the nerve much.

All

right, let's go get inside.

>> Wow, this place is huge. You live here

all by yourself?

>> Yep.

>> Why am I not surprised?

>> You don't have lots of furniture and you

don't have a tree either.

>> Are you Jewish? No, I just didn't feel

like getting a tree this year.

>> Why not?

>> I just I just didn't. Okay,

>> Aunt Trish, he didn't get a tree.

>> I know, honey.

>> All right, we've established the fact

that I have no furniture and I have no

tree for this. I'm sorry. I do have some

sheets, however, and I'm going to get

them. Excuse me.

>> So, even if Santa does find us, he'll

just turn around and leave. Well, he

does have a fireplace.

>> Here, why don't you hang up our

stockings?

>> Okay.

>> Only got one extra pill.

>> I'll go without. I deserve to be

punished.

>> Look, I'm not trying to pick a fight

here. We're both stuck with this. So,

why don't we try and make the best of it

here?

>> When did she leave you?

She didn't leave me. We parted it

amicably.

>> Is that why you're mad at the world?

>> I'm not mad at the world. Just a very

small part of it.

>> And what's his name?

>> You think you know so much, huh?

>> Lenny. Name's Lenny Burmeister. He's a

king of the cellular phones. He wasn't

stuck in a go nowhere job. Life wasn't

passing him by.

Well, at least you're not bitter.

>> I'm not. All right. Yes, I am. But I I

can't let her see that.

>> Why not?

>> Because look, I don't want to have this

conversation with you. All right.

>> Because you figure she might come back,

but not if you act like a jerk.

>> Yeah, something like that. Yeah.

>> Albert.

>> Bert.

>> Bert. Let me give you some advice. She's

not coming back. So, go ahead and act

like a jerk and sleep on the whole bed.

Ramen. Ramen. Peanut butter. Ramen. I

guess this means you can actually boil

water.

>> You mean supposed to cook these things?

>> Come on, Py. We'll go get some

groceries. No, NO, I'LL GO.

>> WHAT? WHAT ABOUT US?

>> I'll lock you in.

>> Are you kidding? What if there's a fire

and we have to get out or something?

>> How can there be a fire? He doesn't have

a Christmas tree.

>> All right, we'll all go. Okay,

>> but how do I know you're not going to

try and run away again?

>> Our toothbrushes are in your bathroom.

Taylor, I need

Do we need all this stuff?

>> She's a growing girl. Well,

>> how much growing could you possibly do

in 2 days? Oh, steak. I haven't had a

steak in ages. No, no, it's too

expensive.

>> Oh, go on. Life's miserable enough as it

is. Treat yourself.

>> Oh, that's a nice philosophy.

>> Well, forgive me if I'm not feeling very

optimistic tonight.

>> Oh, look. They've got

>> You like rhubarb pie? I love it. It's

very hard to find.

>> I know. With or without whipped cream.

>> Without

>> cookies for Santa.

>> Grocery shopping is foreplay. Yeah,

she's probably picking his pockets.

>> So, how how'd you get started doing what

you do? I mean, how did you learn that?

>> My highly developed skill.

>> Yeah.

>> Picking pockets wasn't exactly my career

of choice. It sort of chose me. Had a

good teacher, guy named Mel.

>> Mel.

>> Mel?

Oh, well.

>> And what happened Mel was?

>> He dared me. He sort of showed me how to

do it. And then the danger excited me.

So, I tried it once, twice,

and then when my sister died and I took

Py in,

I had to support her somehow. So,

>> yeah, I don't buy that. You know, other

people support their kids without

stealing.

>> Yeah, other people have marketable

skills.

>> You're attractive and you're smart.

There's a lot of jobs you could do.

>> And I've done them all. Waitressing,

temp work, telemarketing.

>> There's nothing to be ashamed there

except for the telemarketing.

Want to know the truth? I'm good at

picking pockets and it pays well.

>> Thanks for finally being honest.

>> I promised Ellen I'd take care of her.

Py deserves to have a good life and I'd

do anything to give it to us. And you

know what? We're going to quit soon.

We've been saving money to buy a little

house and a good neighborhood garden.

You don't believe me?

>> No, I do. Sounds great.

>> I'm going to go find Py.

Thank you. Merry Christmas.

That and that. What?

Um, one more. One more. No.

Wait. No.

Ah.

Excuse me.

That's That's That's funny. You You stay

there. There.

>> So, what about you? You like your job?

>> Ah, yeah. It's all right. You know, I

didn't get up in front of the third

grade and tell him I wanted to be a

security guard. But

>> you did want to be a cop though, right?

Like your dad picture in your living

room.

>> Yeah, that was him. My brother Bill's on

the force, my uncle Don, and my cousin

Frank, and now my sister's in the

academy.

>> Wow.

If you don't mind my asking.

>> Marksmanship. I got an aigmatism in my

right eye. Throws off my depth

perception. That's what stood between me

and my badge.

Sorry.

>> Hey, you win some, you lose more. Huh?

>> Psych.

>> Honey, what is it? What's the matter?

>> I want my own house and my own bed and

my own Christmas tree.

>> Yeah. Well, if we get you your own

Christmas tree, will that make you feel

better?

>> Uh uh. Excuse me, Miss Tracy. Can I can

talk to you over here for a minute,

please?

>> What? What the hell are you doing

offering the kid a tree? This place is

closed.

>> It'll be easy. I'll just climb over and

get her one.

>> No. No, you can't do that.

>> You're right. I can't. It's too high.

You'll have to do it.

>> No way. I am not breaking the law and my

neck. So, no way. No way.

>> Okay.

Sorry to disappoint you, Py. No

Christmas tree this year.

>> That's all right.

I'll just take this home and decorate

it. It'll be fine.

>> All right. All right.

I'll do it. Can you hold these, please?

>> Sure.

>> Well, maybe if you took a running start.

>> Okay, here we go. AND

>> are you hurt?

>> No. How can I possibly hurt myself?

Throwing my family jewels full force up

against a freezing metal fence.

>> Good. As long as you're not hurt.

All right. I got it. I got it.

I got it. I'm fine.

>> Which one? This one?

>> No, that one.

That one? That's different. A green one

with branches.

>> When I was a kid, I could tell the breed

of a dog from his bark.

>> And

>> I think you better hurry.

>> Okay. All right.

>> That's not THE ONE I MEANT.

>> ALL RIGHT.

FREEZE.

>> Could somebody possibly do something to

help me? Do something.

Quick, quick. Uh,

>> SHOE.

>> WHAT?

>> SAY SOMETHING.

>> SIT.

>> That dog. Uh.

>> Oh, good. I said that's working very

well.

>> Well, maybe I should get A COP.

>> WHAT? NO. THEN I HAVE TO EXPLAIN WHAT

I'M DOING UP HERE.

>> This is a life of crime. You got to take

the consequences.

>> Party horror.

>> DO SOMETHING. HERE, DOGGY DOGGY.

>> HEY, KID. That's my $7 steak.

>> I think it's pretty darn clever.

>> It's not the right tree, but it's

certainly better than this.

>> Funny.

Christmas tree. Oh Christmas tree.

>> Much pleasure do thou bring me.

>> I like that

>> Christmas tree. Oh Christmas tree.

Much pleasure do thou bring me.

For every year the Christmas tree

brings to us all both joy and glee.

>> How's that

>> Christmas tree, oh Christmas tree,

>> much pleasure do thou bring me?

>> Oh Christmas tree.

The candles shine out.

Christmas tree. Oh Christmas tree.

Thy candles shine out brightly.

>> Hey bird.

>> Yeah.

>> Come look. Hey, how'd you get this thing

going?

>> Oh, I had to clean it out. It's filthy.

>> You're kidding me. The whole time I

lived here, I never even knew that thing

worked.

>> What is this? Limber jingle music and

lyrics.

>> Please. It's just It's a hobby.

>> Huh? I got to hear this.

>> It's not bad.

>> No. You really think so?

>> Are they going to use it?

>> No. I I gave it to Mr. limber. But hold

on. Listen. I got one. Listen to this.

>> Say goodbye with dignity.

>> Well, Mr. Acriman said it was it was

informative yet sensitive, but he didn't

buy it.

Do you ever write anything

longer?

>> What's the matter with writing jingles?

>> Nothing. I'm just saying you're

obviously talented. Maybe you should

stretch yourself a little.

>> Oh, this miss I have no skills.

>> Hello.

Ah, Mr. Puit. Yes, sir.

Yes, sir. Here.

Well, sir, I think that's that's uh an

unreasonable request.

No, I haven't forgotten what he said. I

I told you I'd have him there, didn't I?

All right. Goodbye.

Merry Christmas to you, too. Can you

believe that? He wanted me to keep you

locked in all day tomorrow.

>> I'm not going to. Don't worry.

>> You were before.

Yeah, but

now we got a tree and it might be a fire

or something.

I better uh

Good night. Merry Christmas.

But what is

>> Trish?

>> Mhm.

>> What's going to happen to us Friday

morning?

>> I don't know, honey.

We might

have to spend some time apart for a

while.

>> But maybe as Santa could talk to Mr.

Limber and tell him that we promised not

to do it ever again. He would have to

let you stay with me, wouldn't they?

>> Maybe they would.

We're going to have to wait and see.

Okay.

>> Okay.

>> Let's get under the covers. Mr. Peeps is

getting cold. I'll tell you about her.

>> Okay.

>> Okay.

>> Tell me.

>> Well, she had freckles right here and

brown hair just like yours

>> and a ponytail.

>> Uh-huh. When we were kids, she always

wore it in a ponytail right there.

Never in the middle. Always crooked. It

drove your hands. Right.

>> Mhm.

>> Aunt Trish.

>> Mhm.

>> I won't let them take you away. Okay.

Okay.

That's going to be

Bert. Bert. Bert, get up.

>> Py, she's gone. What?

>> Yeah, she's gone.

>> What do you mean? She She's gone.

>> Well, she left cookies after Santa.

Nobody ate them. She must have been

upset. She must have

>> She took the keys to your place.

>> The bike. She went to see if Santa left

at the apartment. Oh, we should have I

told you we should HAVE BROUGHT IT BACK

HERE. WELL, HOW WAS I supposed to know?

>> Because I told you.

>> No, you didn't. It's my fault all of a

sudden.

>> Well, of course. Whose fault do you

think it is?

>> Yours. She's too old to believe in this

stuff for one thing. And for another

thing, if you didn't

>> You shut up and put on your pants.

>> She probably took a bus.

>> We get a cab. We can still be there.

>> Oh, that's a good idea.

>> They triple through taxi.

Okay. Hey, we see grandma. Huh?

>> Okay.

I'll check the apartment.

>> Thanks.

>> I'm going to look down here.

>> Santa rob them.

>> I don't think it was Santa, honey. Not

the real one, anyway.

I can't believe this.

>> Bert,

we've been robbed. Look for a Santa.

>> A Santa?

>> Yeah.

>> Santa. Santa. Santa.

>> Hey. Hey. Hey, stop.

Let me go again. My hand. My hand. My

hand.

You're mine. Okay.

>> All right, buddy. You're mine.

>> Okay. Okay. This is how this is. This is

the kind of Shut up in Shut up.

>> Hang on, Joy.

>> I got him.

>> Mel.

>> Mel. Mel. This is Mel. Merry Christmas.

>> How could you? Hey, I asked for your

help. You said no, SIR.

>> WELL, THAT WAS HER OUR STUFF. How could

you do that? Look,

>> so I borrowed a few things. I'll pay you

back. I'm good for it.

>> This This is the famous Mel. And who are

you?

>> Oh, Trish. I know it's hard to top me,

but come on. This is the guy you went

out with him. This is your boyfriend.

You're such an improvement.

>> Well, we're not together.

>> At least he's he's

>> stable.

>> Yeah, stable.

>> Oh, stable. That's nice.

>> And he wouldn't steal from me. You bet I

wouldn't. What? You think you think

you're something special to her? She

sees you. She sees an all DAY SUCKER.

>> MEL,

let's go.

>> Get your hands off her.

>> PUT HER DOWN.

SORRY, MEL.

Are you okay? You okay?

Let me go. Please let me go.

What I did last Christmas? I slept in.

Had a nice leisurely breakfast. I

watched some TV.

>> Sounds boring. Learn your lesson for

this time.

You got him, boy. Come on.

She really

>> I just can't believe that was Mel. I

mean, I'm picturing David Nven in an

ascot. This guy's a psycho. And to think

you went out with him.

>> Can we drop the subject, please? It's a

long time ago. I was lonely. He was

there. It was a mistake.

>> All I'm saying is is you're better off.

You should be with somebody nicer. I

mean, somebody

>> stable.

>> Worst things could happen to you.

>> Thanks for playing along with me about

being my boyfriend. Maybe it'll keep him

off my back for a while.

>> At your service,

>> honey, what's wrong?

>> He didn't come because I'm bad. Because

I stole.

>> No, honey.

>> What?

>> Oh, no.

He didn't come because I'm a bad girl.

>> Oh no.

>> Hey, Paty, listen to me. Listen to me.

>> Sometimes people do things that aren't

always good. That doesn't make them bad

people. You're a good little girl and

Santa knows that. I'm sure.

>> Why didn't he come?

>> Probably just a mixup. Santa was

confused because we weren't home.

>> Yeah, that's probably it. We'll get it

straightened out. Don't worry about it.

Look, there's a man over there selling

necklaces. Somebody's going to have to

go get one.

>> Thanks.

>> Look,

anything I said to you yesterday,

>> that was before I saw how you are with

her and I'm sorry.

>> Oh, well,

>> thanks.

>> It's kind of nice having a kid around,

you know? Makes it seem more like

Christmas. Makes you feel like there's

some hope. You know, like once a year,

God decides to give the world another

shot at it.

>> Yeah. And everybody deserves a second

chance, right?

>> Look, Uncle Bert. Isn't it neat?

>> Oh, pretty.

>> That's great.

>> Put it on.

>> Oh,

>> yeah.

>> I'm still waiting for it to feel like

Christmas. You know what I mean?

>> Yeah. Yeah. You know, for me, it usually

starts after Thanksgiving when they're

putting the decorations up in the store,

and then it comes to a screeching halt

when I go visit my family.

I'm supposed to be at my mom's in a

couple hours. Uh,

I'm going to call and cancel.

>> You're going to miss Christmas dinner?

>> What am I supposed to do? Lock you up

while I go to Maplewood?

>> Maplewood? That's where Santa's castle

and Aunt Trist said she would take me

there real soon. Maybe even the day

after Christmas.

If we're not, you know,

>> can we go to your mom's with you,

>> Py? That's rude. You don't invite

yourself places.

Can we go to your mom's with you,

>> please?

This is so cute, isn't it, P?

>> Yeah, it's nice.

>> Love it.

>> Yeah, I grew up here. Cute. Not what I

remember.

>> There he is.

>> Sweetie.

>> Oh, what's this?

>> Perfume.

>> Oh, and who's this? You didn't tell me

you were bringing a lady friend.

Um, it's all happened so fast. Um, I'm

sorry. I'm Trish.

>> Hi.

>> Nice to meet you. Birds told us all

about you.

>> Oh, that's very sweet. But I know you're

lying. He never talks about me.

>> And who's this?

>> Psy. And I bet you are 61.

>> Well, you know you're a smart little

girl.

>> Oh, you know what? You're just one year

off. Okay, now

>> come on in everybody.

>> What a neat tree.

>> Do you like it?

>> Oh, that's the one we brought in from

Italy a long time ago.

>> Your dad was a sergeant, huh?

>> Yeah. 25 years on the farm.

>> You must have been quite a guy.

>> Yep. Full-time cop, part-time dad.

Your brother's around somewhere. I'm

sure he'll be glad to see you.

>> You see how we thread that through like

that? Is that the way you do it on your

Christmas tree?

>> Yeah. On the one B stole for us.

>> WATCH YOUR BACK.

>> Merry Christmas.

>> Merry Christmas. Bill. Bill. Bill. This

This is This is my friend Trish. This is

my brother, Bill. You're with him. Get

out of here.

>> Don't I know you from some place?

>> No, I don't think so.

>> Limbers. You ever hang around limbers?

That's my beat.

>> Yeah, maybe that's it.

>> Bird eggnock.

>> Excuse me.

>> Limbers.

Yeah, that's it. I I can't believe this.

You're working a lift and drop in front

of my brother of all the cops in this

town. Oh, you're related to half of

them.

>> All right. All right. Let's just think

this through.

>> Okay. We can't leave now cuz it just get

more suspicious.

>> I don't want to be recognized.

>> Don't worry about it. He's not the

brightest bulb in the chandelier, if you

know what I mean.

>> One, two, three. Mindy makes for Damn

it, I lost count again. Funny you didn't

mention you were bringing somebody. Oh,

>> shortest. They got no place to go.

>> Who are you?

Merry Christmas everybody. I brought the

eggnog.

>> Merry Christmas. Are you

>> see anything at Trish?

>> Mindy, did you meet Trish and her niece

Paty?

>> It's a pleasure to meet you.

>> Hi.

>> You know, you look familiar.

>> Thank you, but you don't.

>> Why don't you go play by the tree,

honey?

Where is it?

Um,

>> Trish, can you grab this bowl, honey?

Help me with these flowers.

>> Love to.

>> Hey, never mind the flowers. When do we

eat around here?

>> Uncle Don, would you like to say great

>> ruba dubdub? Thanks for the grub and God

bless the 29th precinct.

>> Amen. Unbelievable.

>> Dig in starving. Get some cranberry

sauce.

>> Cranberry sauce here.

>> Thanks.

>> Excuse me.

>> Hey, M. You know what? That is a really

beautiful arrangement. I've never seen

you do anything like that before.

>> Well, that's cuz Trish did it.

>> Forget

>> good.

>> You're very talented.

>> Thank you. Pass the broccoli.

>> You want gravy?

>> Save room for pie. Everyone

>> rhubarb?

>> You made him rhubarb pie.

>> What are you talking about? It's my turn

this year. You got chocolate last year.

>> Ah, boys. It's Christmas. Come on.

>> Yeah. Yeah.

>> Ah, what do you say?

>> You know, Aunt Trish B's mom said that

Santa's Castle is only a few blocks from

here.

>> It's a shame you've never been.

>> So,

you two met at the store? Uh,

>> first floor handbags. It was very

romantic. Bert just dragged me right

off. I I couldn't resist.

>> Isn't that right, honey?

>> There.

>> We're going to have turkey for days.

>> Pass the rolls, will you?

>> No more of that.

>> Can I get some yams?

>> This combination of the

>> What's on my plate?

>> Pass me the salt, please.

>> Don't play with your

>> Yeah, I'll take a roll.

>> Everyone, Mindy has a big announcement.

>> Well,

>> I made it through the academy. Maybe a

cop. CONGRATULATIONS.

>> WELL, isn't that something?

>> That's that's that's great.

>> That's really nice.

>> Hey, my sister. Congratulations, honey.

>> Ain't going to mess you at the store,

sweetie. I just had a thought. Trish can

take my place.

>> I mean, you obviously have a knack for

it.

>> That's a great idea. Trish, quit

handbags. Come work for us.

>> What?

>> Yeah. Mom. Mom and Mindy, they have a

flower shop.

>> Cranberries.

>> Well, I

>> Come on.

>> I don't think I'm really what you're

looking for.

>> What? What are you talking about? Don't

sell yourself short. Mom, she's great

with people.

>> And she's artistic, too. You should see

what she did with her apartment. I mean,

it looks like a million bucks, right?

>> Yeah. And she's really good with her

hand.

>> Think about it, Trish. The money's not

great, but it's a fun place to work.

>> Well, thank you. But our plans are kind

of dayto-day right now, you know.

>> Well, who knows?

So, uh, Mindy, you, uh, passed

marksmanship and everything, huh? Top

5%.

>> Maybe she wanted it more.

>> Look, it's a medical condition. All

right,

>> boys.

>> You know, for some people, it could be

that being a police officer isn't the

most important thing in the world.

It's just a thought.

>> Don't let this one get away.

>> That's exactly what my boss said.

>> Hey, um, Mindy, congratulations. I'm

happy for you. Really?

Hey, listen. I'm going to go down to the

Billy Club, meet some of the guys. Why

don't you come along? Bring Trish with

you.

I don't know. I don't know if that's

such a good idea.

>> Sure, go ahead. I'll take care of Paty.

Uh,

>> what kind of place is open on Christmas?

>> It's always open as long as guys are off

duty.

>> Off duty? You mean

>> cops?

Great.

Hey. Hey. You remember my little

brother? Yeah, of course. How you doing,

Jack?

>> And this is his girl, Trish.

>> Hi. Hey, listen. You want to sit with

us? Have a beer?

>> Nah, no. We're going to go to the bar.

Thank you.

>> You know what I think?

>> No, but I'm sure you'll follow me.

>> I think you're not being a cop was

probably the best thing that ever

happened.

>> Hey, Bird, I thought it was you. How you

doing?

>> Hey, Dad.

>> This guy tell used to work here playing

piano.

>> No.

So, how's everything? How's Monica?

>> You're going to have to ask her that.

>> How indelicate of me, huh? Don't worry,

you better run.

>> Two beers, huh?

>> Yeah, sure.

>> He's right. Her leaving was the second

best thing. But I shouldn't tell you how

to run your life.

>> So, you think I got a go nowhere job?

>> I think you could do better. What about

your music?

>> All the great songs already been

written.

>> Well, no one's ever written a song about

me.

Let's see. What rhymes with Trish?

>> Dish. Fish. Kesh.

>> Thanks a lot. It's very flattering.

Guess you could always pick pockets.

>> I'm just kidding. Okay.

>> In a way and in a very small way. I'm

actually fascinated with what you do. I

know. I'm sorry.

>> No, don't be sorry. It is fascinating

and it's easier than you think.

Here.

Okay.

can practice on me. Give me your wallet.

>> I'll give it back.

>> All right, you be you. I'll be the mark.

Try to pick my pocket.

>> But you know I'm here.

>> I'll look the other way. I'll tell you

if I feel anything.

>> Okay. Whenever you're ready.

>> No.

Try again.

>> No. Better. Try again.

Do you feel anything?

>> Yeah.

>> Do you

got it?

>> No.

>> No. No. Fair. That doesn't count.

>> IT'S FAIR. WE'RE JUST

ATTENTION,

attention everyone. Special Christmas

treat for you. My little brother, Albert

Sanders. All right.

Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all

the way.

Oh, what fun it is to ride in a onehorse

OPEN SLEIGH. HEY, JINGLE BELLS, jingle

bells, jingle all the way.

Oh, what fun it is to ride in a onehorse

open sleigh.

Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all

the way.

Oh, what fun it is to ride in a onehorse

open sleigh. HEY, jingle bells, jingle

bells, jingle all the way.

Oh, what fun it is to ride in a onehorse

open sleigh.

I'll be right back.

>> It's yours.

>> Yeah.

>> Thanks.

>> She seems nice. Her and her little girl

both. How much you know about him?

>> Can't stop being a cop, huh, Bill?

>> Well, I just want to make sure you know

what you're getting into.

>> Whoever does, huh? I know what I'm

doing. This is nice. You actually feel

like, you know, you're concerned about

me. for you.

>> What's that?

>> I like to look down.

>> You got yourself a big spot right on

your Hey, you're going to walk around

like a jerk. I'm telling you.

>> I just want you to be careful. That's

all.

>> Got it.

Frosty or Rudolph?

>> Rudolph by nose.

>> Sausage or pepperoni?

>> Uh, an enchovies.

>> Oh, me too.

>> Could paper or plastic?

>> Uh, paper.

>> Swiss cheese or cheddar?

>> Cheddar.

>> Patunas or daisies?

>> Daisies.

>> Uh, Beatles of the Stones?

>> Beatles.

>> Thank god.

>> Okay. Blue, brown, or hazel?

>> Uh, blue.

>> Okay, so Monica's eyes were blue.

>> I can't remember.

>> Good answer.

>> Thank you.

>> What?

>> Hear it? Christmas

just got here. Feel it.

>> Yeah.

>> I hope it's not too late. What?

>> Come on.

>> What?

>> Come on.

>> Where are you going?

>> You'll see. His droll little mouth was

drawn up like a bow and the beard on his

chin was as white as the snow.

>> Mom. Mom.

>> Yeah.

>> Hey, Paty, go put your coat on. Can I

borrow the car?

>> Sure. The keys are in the kitchen.

>> Where are we going?

>> Santa's castle.

>> What?

>> Thank you,

>> Paty. Don't get too excited. It's

Christmas Day. It's late. Santa's

probably very tired. No, but I know

he'll be there.

>> Why? Why are you so upset? I thought

this would make you happy.

>> I don't want to set her up for

disappointment.

>> Oh, that's a nice attitude to have.

You're the one who said Christmas just

arrived

>> and you're making it leave.

>> Hurry up. I want to see Santa.

Santa. Hello, Santa. We're out here.

We're out here. Hello.

>> I'm sorry, Py. I'm really sorry.

>> Come on.

>> Hey, where you going?

>> Santa, is that you?

>> Uh, can I help you?

>> We um we wanted to see Santa.

>> Well, we're we're closed. Uh Santa's

asleep.

>> Asleep?

>> Hey, you had a big day. But I need to

talk to him. My name is Paty Tracy and

it's about my bike.

>> Oh, Psy.

>> Did he tell you about me? How he

couldn't find us?

>> Come on. We got to go.

>> No, it's okay. It's Paty.

Tell you what I'm going to do. Fancy.

Uh, you haven't been here before, have

you?

>> I don't remember seeing you. So,

why don't you

come on in and look around?

>> Wow.

>> Well, my name's David. I'm kind of the

head elf around here.

>> You're awfully tall for an elf.

>> That's why I'm the head elf. Let me get

some lights here.

>> Wow.

>> You like that?

Check this.

Kids really like this part.

I like it, too.

Okay, I'm going to ask you to keep your

voices down as we pass through this area

because this is the actual bedroom door.

Santa's sleeping in there,

>> right?

>> What? You don't believe me?

>> No, no, I I I do.

>> Oh, yeah. That's abundantly clear.

>> Okay. Whoever wants hot chocolate, raise

their hand.

>> Okay. Is that with a marshmallow? Mhm.

>> Okay.

>> So, tell me, Paty, uh did you visit

Santa this year?

>> Uh not the real one, just the one at

Limbers.

>> He's the uh the tall guy, right? With

the bad glasses.

>> Yeah.

>> And uh you asked him for a

>> bike,

>> right? But Santa didn't bring it.

>> No.

>> Well,

were you a good girl?

Um,

>> oh, we think it was just a mixup. Uh,

she spent the night away from home.

>> See, he didn't really answer my

question. Um, him, sooner or later,

everybody, kids, grown-ups,

everybody has to answer that question.

So, were you good or were you bad?

You just think about it. You don't have

to tell me right now.

And just remember, Santa believes in

second chances.

Okay. Uh, let's see what we can discover

in the big book. Write this way, please.

Py Tracy. Huh? Is that two Y's?

>> Mm- P A T S Y. One Y.

>> T R A C Y.

>> Mhm.

>> Double Y.

Psych.

Here we go. Oo,

>> Paty. Uh, you were right.

>> Not at home. One bike undelivered.

>> See, he did. Cheyant Trish, you were

right. He did. Does that mean I still

get my bike?

>> I have a pretty strong feeling you will.

But, uh, sometimes Santa needs a little

help. I tell you what, why don't we

write him a note just to remind him?

You owe me one bike.

Yeah, you sign it there.

>> Love.

>> Oh, that part is good.

>> Cats.

>> Crazy.

>> Okay.

>> Can I add a PS?

What do you want to say?

>> Please meet me 9:30

>> at leers tomorrow morning.

They're going to try to take us away and

maybe Santa can help.

>> Okay. Well, why don't you slip that

under Santa's door?

Well, I guess that takes care of it.

>> Thank you very much.

>> Oh, merry Christmas. Yeah.

Merry Christmas. Yeah. Merry Christmas.

Well, good night.

Sorry, Mos.

We wish you a merry Christmas. We wish

you a merry Christmas.

>> Wish you a merry Christmas. Can you make

sure they get that?

>> Sure.

>> Thanks, Ernie. And a happy new year.

>> I'm sorry, ma'am. Ma'am, I I apologize.

I

Thank you. Thank you.

Day of my life.

Papa

D.

Wish

the dish.

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, I got you. I got you.

Oh. Oh. Don't let go. Don't let go. Oh

god. Don't let go. Okay. Can't let go.

Not going to let go.

bird.

What do you What? What? What are you?

>> That is the nicest thing anybody has

ever done for her.

>> Um, I bred your shirt. I hope you don't

mind.

>> No, no, I don't.

>> You have to promise me one thing.

>> Of course.

>> You'll turn us in tomorrow.

>> What?

>> I'm going to kiss you now. And I don't

want you to think it's just because

I'm trying to get you not to turn us in.

>> So why are you?

>> Don't you want to kiss me?

>> Cross my mind once or twice. Yeah.

So then promise me

you'll turn us in otherwise

I'm not going to kiss you.

>> Okay.

No,

no, no, don't joke about it.

I decided I'm I'm not turning you in.

>> But what about your job?

>> It's a lousy job. Getting fired from

that job will be the third best, fourth

best thing that's ever happened to me.

>> Listen, B, I'm ready for this to be

over.

Like that guy said tonight, sooner or

later you have to answer the question.

Py belongs in a nice home somewhere.

>> She is in a nice home.

>> I've used her. You said it.

>> That

That was before.

>> Before what?

>> Look, can we talk about this tomorrow?

Wee!

>> This is fun.

>> Look at that.

>> Yeah.

What a great bike.

>> Yeah, he ride just like the elf said he

would.

>> I know. It's great. We'll have to take

it to the park later.

>> No, but we have to go see Mr. Lmber.

>> We need to talk about that.

>> But I gave the note to Santa and he's

going to meet us there.

>> I'm sure you will, honey. I'm going to

take a shower, okay? And we'll go to the

park later. I think Santa will

understand if our plans change a little

bit.

Oh, thank you.

>> You're welcome.

>> Santa.

>> Ho ho ho, little darling. Where you

going so early?

>> None of your business.

>> Okay, that's how you want it.

>> Hey, not my bike. How am I going to run

to Limhurst?

>> Limhurst. How about that? That's exactly

where I'm going. Huh?

>> Come on.

>> Go with me.

>> Sure. Be fun. Come on.

>> I have to be there by 9. Okay, then

we'll leave the bike and ride.

>> Bert,

come on. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go.

>> Hey, now take it easy on her way inside.

>> So, she does this a lot, I think.

>> Only since she met you.

>> Oh, so now it's my fault if you didn't

go googly eye.

>> I did not get googly eyed.

>> And if you would have told her that I

wasn't turning you in today.

>> Well, okay.

Forget it, Mal. I'm not going to do it.

I promise.

>> Now, listen, Paty. You do like I asked

or your aunt is in big trouble. I don't

want to hurt her, but I will. And then

I'll buy you a puppy. And I'll hurt the

puppy, too.

>> Okay, let's find your first mark.

>> Face, I got something kind of odd here.

Is there a Santa working today?

>> Not that I know of.

would you like to try a new fragrance?

>> Uh,

>> I'm going to

>> Yeah,

>> this one.

>> Okay.

>> Tell we got them. They're in the store.

>> Okay, there's your mark. I want that

purse. It's filled with cash. I can

smell it. The lady in brown, you make

the uh lift. I'll be waiting cosmetics

for the

>> Oh, no.

Your attention shoppers all treat are

now 50 to 75% off.

>> Psy, what are you doing here?

>> Are you by yourself?

>> Are you in trouble?

Well, let's go someplace and you can

tell me all about it.

>> We'll go to the coffee shop. Nothing so

bad that a cup of hot chocolate won't

help.

>> Damn it.

>> They're in the store, Mr. Puit.

>> Okay, that's great. Good morning.

>> Good morning.

>> Just in time, sir. They're downstairs.

This is Miss Nichols from social

services.

>> Miss Nichols, the dear child is only 6

years old. Now, you have to get her away

from that woman before she turns her

into a full-fledged criminal as well.

Oh, don't worry, sir. We know how to

take care of it.

>> Attention shoppers now plan and pay

nothing.

>> B.

>> You found her.

>> No, not yet.

>> You're right. It's all my fault. I never

if I just if I just should have just

looked away.

>> No, it's my fault. If I hadn't gotten

her into this.

>> No, then I never would have met you.

>> All right. It's your fault that I love

you.

>> No. No, it's not. It's my what?

>> I love you.

>> All right. It's your fault that I love

you. I I love you.

>> I love you. I love you.

>> I love you. I I I love you.

>> I love you.

>> Come here.

Okay.

And so I asked Hannah to meet me here. I

thought he could talk to Mr. Lmber and

explain everything, but he didn't show

up. I'm sure he wanted to.

>> Paty,

>> don't ever do that again.

>> Mrs. Sanders, what are you doing here?

>> Well, first I returned a handbag, then

we had some hot chocolate, and Py told

me everything.

>> Everything?

>> Everything?

Don't worry. I called Bert's brother.

It's all going to be fine.

>> There they are. All right, everybody.

Where's Sanders?

>> Where's Santa? He needs to talk to Mr.

Lmber.

>> Paty.

>> All right, take him upstairs and if you

see Bert, hold on to him. Come on, let's

go. Go.

Sugar's right there.

>> Hey,

stop.

You slide out.

HURT

A REAL

MINE NOW. GET BACK. YOU CAN RUN, BUT YOU

CAN'T GET AWAY.

I know.

>> DIRTY. YOU'RE GOING TO JAIL FOR USING A

LITTLE GIRL LIKE THAT.

>> DIRTY. YEAH. YOU

>> I DON'T blame you, buddy. I hate

Christmas jokes.

>> All right, that's enough.

>> GOOD.

>> THAT'S ENOUGH. ARREST THIS MAN. HEY,

you're coming with me.

>> What?

>> You hear a boat coming?

>> He's the one with me.

>> Mom, I came as soon as I could. What's

the problem?

>> Bird's in trouble.

>> Let's go take care of it.

>> Yeah.

tried to tell you the two of us sitting

here like Trump and she's out there

having a good laugh over it.

>> You don't know what the hell you're

talking about.

>> Admit it, she played you like an

accordion. I've been there, pal. You're

just another in a long line of losers.

>> Hey, I don't like the accordion and I

don't like you. And you're talking about

the woman I love. So knock it off before

I break your other hand.

>> I'll tell you one thing. I'm never

shopping here again.

I'm here to pick up the Santa.

>> He's all yours. Hey,

>> I didn't do anything. Okay. I did not.

You got the forms for me to sign.

>> Forms? What forms?

>> The forms. Come on, man. What do I have

to do? Your job and my job? Nobody sent.

Give me the

>> I need the form.

>> Mr. Lmber,

>> I have Santa to meet me here. But I

guess he was too busy to come. So, I'm

going to tell you.

I'm sorry we stole and it's bad, but

we promise never to do it again.

>> Right, answers?

>> That's right.

>> So, I really want to stay with my

answers. Please.

>> Well, that's very praiseworthy, little

lady. And an admission of guilt is

laudatory, but there's a principal here,

>> Miss Nichols.

>> No, but said he would be here.

No, I don't want to.

>> She's four. Don't you think, Trish?

>> Play.

>> NO, NOT NOW.

>> PLAY.

>> NO. NO. NO. NO. WE CAN'T PLAY.

>> NO.

>> They're right. You'll be better off

somewhere else for a while with somebody

who can help you be good.

>> I've tried, honey, but nobody can take

the place of your mom. But I promise I'm

going to work real hard to get you back,

and then nobody's going to ever be able

to separate us ever again. Okay,

>> Miss Nicholas.

>> I promise.

>> No, I don't want to. I don't want

>> That's right. I'll look into it.

>> Yes, you do. No. Hold it. Hold it.

>> Saunders.

>> Mr. Limer, I won't let this happen.

>> You won't? What is the MEANING OF THIS?

HOW DARE YOU COME IN?

>> MR. LIMER, two days ago, I was just like

you. I always thought the worst about

people and then something happened to

me.

>> Christmas.

>> That's right. And I realized that people

aren't so bad and some of them some of

them are are wonderful if you give him

half a chance.

>> This woman is a common criminal.

>> I'm not talking just about her. Anyone

can change Mr. Lmber. Even me. All my

life I've been trying to do what other

people have wanted me to do. And now I

know what I want. I want to write songs.

I want to play the piano. And I want

you.

I love this woman, Mr. Lmber, and I want

to marry her. So, I'm appealing

everything that's decent in you. Please

let him go.

Sentimental hogwash. I'll take

>> Finally, officer, arrest this woman.

>> Mr. Lindberg, can we talk now? You're a

parent, AREN'T

>> IT? WHO IS THIS WOMAN? I HAVE NO IDEA.

>> WELL, ACTUALLY, I'm his mother and his

mother and Trish. Miss Tracy works for

me in my flower store, so I know that

she wouldn't do anything wrong. And if

you could see,

>> officer, I've signed the complaint. Now,

do your duty.

>> Sorry, Bert.

>> Seasons. Greetings, everyone. Mr. Lmber,

I'm David Elfman, and I believe that my

clients are being held against their

will.

>> Your clients?

>> His clients?

>> I knew he'd be here. I've spoken with

your Mr. Benjamin,

>> our attorney. Now, I understand.

>> Technically, yes. Everything you've done

is legal. However, should we elect to

sue?

>> Little girl, big corporation, throw in

Christmas, throw in Santa.

Frankly, Mr. Lim, you have to ask

yourself, is it worth the publicity?

>> Well, I

>> Well, that's exactly what Mr. Benjamin

said, but you make the decision for

yourself. I

>> Ah, of course. Of course. Take a moment.

Santa couldn't make it, sweetheart. But

he knows what you did, and he's very

proud of you.

>> My clients have agreed. They signed a

waiver of liability. You draw up the

charges.

>> Yes. Yes. All right. Yes. Yes. Please.

Yes.

>> Uh, what do we do with Santa?

>> Tell him, honey.

>> This is the guy you want. He

orchestrated the whole operation.

>> Prove it. You got nothing on me.

>> My wallet, it's gone again.

>> What are you looking at? Search the

Santa. Well, I don't know about any

Hey. Hey.

Oh, that's No, no, that's not your

wallet. That's No, no, no. That's This

isn't No, no, no, no. You see, that's

that's my wallet. That's it. That was my

wallet. Let's go. Good. Trish. Trish,

just don't introduce to me for old time

sake.

>> Officer, that's the same man who robbed

my apartment.

>> You want to press charges?

>> Well, everybody deserves a second

chance. Except him. Bye, Mel.

>> I'm not coming here. Even for safe.

Mr. Lmber, Mr. Puit, just in case I

haven't been fired, I quit. And my only

Christmas wish to you is that you're

never treated the way you treat others.

Going

>> next year.

Ho ho ho.

Okay.

>> Help a bank.

>> Okay.

>> Do we owe you anything?

>> Uh, just come see us again next year and

be good. Okay.

>> Oh. Oh, sorry. SORRY. HEY, BIRD. CAN I

BE BEST MAN?

>> NO. It's either him or Santa.

>> Uh David, do you mind asking Santa?

>> Where did he go?

>> That was real cool. The way that you

plan that wallet on No.

>> Me? I thought it was you.

>> Nice lift. I thought you well.

>> What? Are you kidding me? I couldn't do

that.

>> Well, then who?

>> I couldn't resist.

Mom,

>> I never told you how I met your father.

>> Well, he was off duty, out of uniform. I

saw a wallet in his back like that. I

reached for it, but he was always very

sensitive back there, so he got me.

>> I can't believe you.

So, are you ready?

>> Oh, I can't wait.

>> Think quickly. It's almost midnight.

>> Snowflakes are falling through the

frosty air.

>> This is so exciting.

Stockings are hanging on the chimney

with care. It's time to make my

Christmas wish.

>> Uhhuh.

>> A perfect Christmas day with you.

>> Hey, wait a minute. What happened to my

>> Santa starts calling on Dasher on Dancer

and all of that North Pole gibberish.

>> Okay, I get it. I'll pop the question

and I know you'll answer when I tell you

I love you. Well, you know.

>> Oh, no. Fair.

>> A perfect Christmas day. I bet you

thought I'd say the name of someone

special who I'm loving all the way.

Seems I got my Christmas wish.

I got Trish.

I got trash.

>> That is so

dumb.

>> I got trash.

>> Happy New Year.

>> Don't mind me.