Original subtitles

do do

Ba-da-da-da-dum.

Do-do-de-do.

Da-da-dum. Do-do-do-ba-dum. Do-do-do-dum.

Da-da-da-dum.

Together again Gee, it's good to be together again

I just can't imagine that you've ever been gone

It's not starting over It's just going on Together again

It's good to be together again.

I just can't imagine that you've ever been gone.

It's not starting over. It's just going on together again. Now we're here and

there's no need remembering when.

glad you liked Manhattan Melodies because we all worked so hard to make it

the best senior variety show ever.

Hey, Kermit! Next time we'll see you on Broadway!

Yeah, yeah, sure.

That's a great idea.

Why don't we take Manhattan Melodies to New York?

What? Yeah, Broadway would be dying to get a great musical like this.

Broadway?

We'd just like to thank everybody for having so much faith in us.

It's not often that a frog and a bear and a pig and a chicken and a whatever

even get accepted into college.

We're all so proud to be graduating now, some with honors.

More men!

More men!

More men!

More men!

More men!

And some with the help of daily psychological counseling.

Anyway, thank you again.

Thank you for everything, guys.

Thank you. Yeah.

Okay. Thank you.

Broadway?

But this show's not good enough for Broadway.

And anyway, the script needs a lot of work. I still think there's something

missing. No, no, no.

Even if the show was good enough, we're all just graduating.

What about our future plans?

This could be our future.

Yeah! That's right.

And if we don't do it, then we just say goodbye to each other.

stuff and find a place to stay.

Okay, Scooter, break out the

quarters. Yes, sir.

You all right down there?

Stop that.

You're getting the walls messed up.

What do you think, guys?

I say, how do you like it?

Oh, it's great. Much better than that cement mixer I used to live in. I'll

trade with anyone that has a jacuzzi.

Come on, it's just for one day.

Hi there, we'd like to see Mr. Price.

Do you have an appointment?

No, but we saw his name in the paper, and we've got this great show called

Manhattan Melodies that he's going to want to produce on Broadway.

It's about a couple of kids that come to New York City to get married, and it has

a wonderful opening number. It goes like this. Hit it, guys.

Hold it.

Look at me. Here I am. Liz, what's going on out there?

Just a frog with a musical, Mr. Price.

A musical?

Send him in.

Net.

I'm talking net.

You've got to be kidding with gross.

Ooh, nice upholstery. Hold it a minute. I'll get back to you.

Mr. Price, I'm Kermit, and these are my friends, and we've got a show called

Manhattan Melodies that we think you're going to want to produce on Broadway.

It's all about a couple of kids that come to New York City to get married,

and it opens with a great number. It goes like this.

Look at me. Here I am.

Hey,

no singing, okay?

Just give me the general idea.

Well, it's all about life in the big city.

Big city, huh?

Cops, shootings, car chases, that kind of thing? Well, no shooting stuff. It's

more like songs and dances.

Songs and dances?

That might be interesting.

Nobody cares about shootings anyway.

What are you thinking about? Big-name stars?

Well, actually, we're going to be the stars.

That's exactly what I was about to say.

You be the stars.

Unknowns. Songs.

Dances. Shootings.

No, no shootings.

Why does everyone always blame dogs?

No, no. What I smell is a hit. A what?

A hit.

You mean... Absolutely.

I'd be proud to produce your show.

Fellas, you're going to be on Broadway.

Hey, come on. We did it. We did it.

We did it. Listen,

thanks a lot, Mr. Price, but I really would like you to read the script

because there's still something missing and I think maybe you can fix it. Don't

worry about that. We fixed all those things in the previews.

Now, look, I got a million things to do. I got to call the papers, rent a

theater, and all I need from you is $300.

$300?

Yeah, a piece.

A piece?

Today, yeah.

Well,

fellas, that's standard Broadway procedure.

You give me the money and we start the rehearsals tomorrow.

We don't have... I don't think that's right.

Yeah, now I smell something.

Mr. Rice,

there are two police officers outside. They'd like to speak to you for a

minute.

That's him.

That's Murray Plotsky.

I gave him my life savings.

Murray? I thought his name was Martin.

All right, let's go, Murray. You've pulled your last con job.

I don't want any trouble.

Get back!

Get back or the chicken gets it.

That's a threat. Please don't hurt her. Take me.

Whatever you say, pal.

Resuscitation.

Kermit, he never wanted our show. He just wanted our money.

Gonzo, is Camilla all right?

Yeah, but I think we're engaged.

Hey, come on, everybody.

We're going to get this show on podcast.

You can't take no for an answer.

You can't take no for an answer.

You can't take no for an answer.

No, no, no.

Whenever there's a dream worth a dreamin'. Dreamin'!

You want to see that dream come true. Dream come true. There'll be plenty of

people talking, say forget all about it, say it isn't worth the trouble, all the

trouble that you're going through.

It ain't worth it, no. Well, what can you do?

You can't take no for an answer.

You can't take no. You can't take no for an answer. No, no, no, no. You can't

take no for an answer.

No, no, no. No, no, no. No, no, no. No, no, no.

No, no, no. No, no, no.

What you gonna do when the times get tough and the world's treating you

unkind? You gotta hang on to your optimistic outlook and keep possession

of your positive state of mind. State of mind, state of mind, state of mind,

state, state of mind. You can't take no for an answer. You can't take no. You

can't take no for an answer. No, no, no, no. You can't take no for an answer.

No, no, no. No, no, no. No, no, no. No, no, no.

This is turning out to be a little tougher than I thought.

Kermit, I'm not good at this. I don't take rejection well.

Maybe we could sell the show if you wrote in more special effects, like

exploding socks.

Oh, Gonzo, like, that's a really lame idea.

Oh, yeah?

Hey, man, stop yelling at him. He wasn't yelling.

Yes, I was.

Oh, Gonzo, don't make trouble.

Don't do anything.

I'm only trying to figure out... Hey, Kermit, do you think we should change

the script? Yeah, Kermit, what should we do?

I don't know.

How should I know?

Why are you always asking me anyway? Can't you take care of yourselves?

I don't know what to do next.

We failed, okay?

We tried and we failed.

Scooter, how much money do we have left?

Enough for two nights unless we find cheaper lockers.

Well, we have to eat.

Why start now?

Gangway coming through.

Hey, watch it, will ya?

Hey, that waiter's a rat.

I'm glad we got no money. Now I got no appetite.

There you go. One cheeseburger platter. What do you want to drink? Grass and

milk. Uh-uh.

I would like some meat in here.

Picky, picky.

Hey, Pete, where's the beef?

It's coming, it's coming.

Got two hands only.

Okay, well, yeah.

The number for the Board of Health.

That does it. Another rat crack, right?

Well, I got feelings too, you know. Do you think I'm doing this as a hobby,

huh? Do you? You want to know what I make around here, huh?

Nothing. Nothing.

I live on tips.

I work hard.

I try to get tips to feed my family and my mother.

It just isn't fair.

We understand.

We don't have any money either.

Sorry, not my table.

What a rat.

I'll get us something to eat.

Is Patty coming? Is cow juice coming?

Rizzo, where's Jenny?

May I see your menu, please?

Special today, Yankee bean soup, with spoon.

Sorry I'm late, Bob.

I don't know how are you. It went longer than I thought, but...

You will be so proud of me. I did great.

And it was all essay questions, no sweat.

I know I passed.

Oh, Jenny, that's very good.

Oh, it's cow juice and patty for a lady. Oh, okay. Rizzo, I'm back.

Well, it's about time. I can't handle everybody.

You can take the weirdos at table four.

Which one do you think is table four?

I wonder if Kermie really meant it. I mean, about failing.

Well, those producers looked at us like we were from outer space.

What?

No, man, go back to sleep.

Nobody's landed.

We'll take 11 bowls, please.

Okey-dokey. But there's just one thing.

You see, we've got this great show that's going to be a big hit on

Broadway, but, well, right now we're all broke.

You mean you don't have any money at all?

Well, not really, no.

But, uh, we'd work it off. We promise.

Waitress, coming.

Hey. Hmm? I'll tell you what is.

Hmm? Big city.

Hmm? Live, work, huh?

But not city open.

Only peoples.

Peoples is peoples.

No is buildings.

Is tomatoes, huh?

Is peoples.

Is dancing. Is music.

Is potato.

So, peoples is peoples.

Okay?

Yeah. Yeah.

Thanks. It helped a lot.

Where are you going?

Hmm? Oh, uh, well, uh... Aren't you gonna wait for your soup?

But I told you, we don't have... Yeah, I know, but, uh, I know my pop, and...

When he first started out in this city, he didn't have anything either.

I bet he's back there right now getting soup bowls for everybody.

Really? With soup in them?

Uh-huh.

Well, I gotta get back to work. I had a test today, so I came in a little late.

Yeah, I heard you passed the test.

Well, I hope I passed it.

It's for acceptance into a fashion design college.

Oh, yeah?

Oh, you know, we just graduated from college.

Really? Yeah.

My name's Jenny. Oh, hi.

I'm Kermit. Hi Kermit nice to meet you.

I'm a frog Maybe

it's time

we went out on our own I mean out on our own alone without even each other even

the frogs, right?

We do depend on him too much. Yeah, like he feels too responsible for us. Man,

he'd be better off if we left town.

I can't leave Kermit. We're still paired.

Maybe it... I'm sorry I blew up outside.

But guess what?

Pete's cooking up some soup for us.

Well, what's wrong?

It's just... We've had some job offers, right?

Yeah, yeah, right.

Job offers, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, well, that's great. Well, these job offers are, uh... They're kind of out of

town, right?

Yeah, yeah.

Job offers are where they are. What job did I get?

Come on, Zoo.

Uh, Piggy, are you going, too?

We go bye-bye?

Kermit, we'll all write to you and let you know where we are.

Yeah, and Kermit, we still believe in the show.

Yeah.

Saying goodbye.

Seems like goodbye's such a hard thing to say Touching a hand,

wondering why It's time for saying goodbye

Saying goodbye Why is it sad?

Makes us remember the good times we've had Much more

to say Foolish to try It's time for saying

goodbye Don't

want to leave

we both know sometimes it's better to go somehow

i know we'll meet again not

sure quite where and i don't know just when you're in my

heart so until then it's time for saying

goodbye

Somehow I know, we'll meet again Not sure quite

where and I don't know just when You're in my heart,

so until then Wanna smile,

wanna cry, say

for saying goodbye.

Look at all those people out there.

Lots of people.

But my friends, my friends are all gone.

I'm going to get them back.

I'm going to get them back.

Because the show's not dead as long as I believe in it.

And I'm going to sell that show.

And we're all going to be on Broadway.

You hear me, New York?

We're going to be on Broadway.

Because I'm not giving up.

I'm still here and I'm staying.

You hear that?

Hey,

excuse me, Pete.

What is? Well, I thought maybe you might have some work here I could help you out

with. You know, part-time so I can keep working on the show?

What is that stuff supposed to be?

It's grits, grits. How many grits?

How should I know how many? Count them yourself.

What? Uh, listen. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. What is?

It's all morning like this. You complain.

You slow.

You don't take orders.

lazy rat, you.

Lazy rat?

Okay, have it your way. See if I care. I don't have to take this abuse. I quit.

Quit? You don't know Ken Quint. He's breakfast crowd.

All right, don't beg.

I'll stay, but I need some help.

Okay, guys, this is it. Don't blow it. Pete, meet your new employees.

Say hello to Tatooie.

You.

Masterson. Hello.

Chester. I feel terrible.

And Yolanda.

What a crazy body.

Yep. Uh, Pete, about that job. See, I was wondering if we could... Hey!

It's no good.

Rat's one job.

Frog one job. What next? Penguins?

Do you have any jobs available?

No.

Well, excuse us for living.

Hey, Pop, everybody's waiting for their food.

Listen, Pete, I can work nights.

Hey, come on, Pete. Give these guys a break, all right?

You go to work.

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

Listen.

I'll tell you what he is.

He is no work.

He's dancing.

He's cheese.

He's big shoes.

Okay?

Uh... Waitress!

All right, rats, you go to work.

Hey!

So, like, you got a boyfriend or what, huh?

Well, Pete, does that mean there's nothing else? Because I'll do anything.

I'll sweep up. Pop, we could always use some help in the kitchen.

Oh, his dishes need washing.

Oh, thanks, Pete. That's terrific.

Oh, boy.

Thanks a lot, Jenny.

Hey, no sweat.

So where are all your friends?

Oh, they had to leave.

Oh.

Even your pig friend?

Yes, but I'm bringing her back.

You see, I wrote the show for them so when I sell it, I can bring them all

back. I'm staying, and I'm getting our show on Broadway.

You know, I really admire that.

I'm going to do something special, too, you know.

I'm mean in fashion.

Hey, you know, maybe your fashion designing can help me now.

What do you mean?

Well, I did some reading last night about Broadway producers and investors

and agents and everything.

And now I know what I have to do to sell our show.

You see, I can use your help because I have a three-part plan.

And the first part is, if you can't beat them, join them.

from the coast hey i love your hair don't ever touch it listen i got an

appointment with uh with uh what's his name yeah your top theater agent here

leonard wine son yeah lenny lenny uh right and uh what office is he in again

doll well he's in suite 1024 but i'll call and see no no no no that's okay

sweetheart doll listen no need for that because lenny and i we go way back

Mr. Winesaw?

Yeah.

A frog with an afro.

Hiya, Lenny, sweetheart, babe. I just flew in from the coast. Hey, I love your

office. Don't change a thing. Say, listen, Lenny, my private plane's double

-parked outside, so I gotta run, but I got this boffo-socko script for a

Broadway slot called Manhattan Melody. It's totally today, yet tremendously

timeless, and I am giving you first look-see, because we're like family.

Have I ever lied to you, Lenny?

I think I hear my beeper. Listen, I gotta split. I'll have your people call

my people, okay?

We'll take a meeting, all right? We'll set a conference call. And remember,

Lenny, boffo Lenny, socko Lenny, okay?

I'll call you. We'll have lunch.

Ciao!

Jenny! Hermit! Hi, Jenny!

Hi! Come here. Have a seat. Were you a hit? They loved it, right?

How'd the costume work? Oh, the costume was great, but it's hard to tell how it

went. They're probably reading the script right now.

Baby. Where you going, sweetheart?

Hello.

I said hello.

You know, for the next part of my plan, I have to look older. So I'm going to

grow a mustache.

Oh.

I think you'd look cute with a mustache.

You think so?

You know, Piggy said that to me once, too.

He's hot. Hot mama.

Sweet thing.

Sweet thing.

She must be really talented.

Well, I think you're talented, too.

You mean it? Of course. I know you're going to be a famous fashion designer

someday.

Oh, Kermit.

Thank you for saying that.

It's just New York.

I'm sorry I'm late, Mr. Wrightson.

I would suggest to you that it is neither prudent nor wise to be a half

hour late returning from lunch, especially when it's your first day on

the job.

Yes, sir. Yes, sir.

at lunch?

My frog turned on me. Yeah. I had some bad tuna myself.

I'm gonna fight for him, though.

I mean, do you think I'm pretty?

Of course you are. You're more than pretty.

Gorgeous.

Don't push it, Pig.

You're more than gorgeous, Piggy. You're unique.

But you know, you could use a little rouge.

Have a seat.

We'll fix you up. What?

We'll make you look like a movie star. How would you like that?

Oh, yes.

Cheekbones. That's what you need, Piggy. I mean, your face is a little round. No

offense. I'm gonna give you a complete makeup job, okay? When you walked in

this morning, I said, she needs rouge.

Come here. Turn your face.

Did you ever wear rouge?

Yes. Well, now you're gonna really wear rouge. Oh, Kermit wouldn't care.

Oh, Kermit Schmermit. Look at that. You look great.

It brings out your eyes. You know what you need? What? You need eyebrows.

Pigs don't have eyebrows. Well, this pig is going to.

And so is this.

I'm giving you a big eye.

Oh, I think I overdid it, Biggie. Take a look.

You have it, too.

I have them, too.

Oh, do some more. Do some more. I'll give you doe eyes.

Doe eyes? What are doe eyes?

Doe eyes are Bambi hats. Let me see. Doe eyes.

Do some more. Do some more. And freckles. You need freckles for cutesy.

Oh, freckles. Cutesy, cutesy, cutesy, cutesy.

Customer complaint.

They say they know like rats for waiters. But it's okay.

I make them cook. Hey, Pete.

Here you go. Two zeros on a trampoline.

Hey,

how's the coffee?

The coffee's fine, come on!

I said... Yeah!

How are you going to start growing your mustache?

Gee, I stopped shaving three days ago. Didn't you notice?

Oh.

Well.

Yeah?

Well, it's subtle.

Yeah. But I bet we could help it along with a little makeup.

Oh, good, because I'm ready for the second part of my plan.

Hey, Frog.

Huh? Mail come.

Got mail for you. Oh.

Yeah. It must be from the gang.

Now, Yolanda, chopping is an art. You gotta be smooth.

Oh, hey, it's from Scooter.

Dear Kermit, how are you?

Have you sold the show yet?

Have you heard from the gang?

I'm here in Cleveland, and I have this terrific job.

I'm managing a huge movie house here.

Well, maybe not managing.

But I do have a lot of responsibilities.

Oh, here are your glasses. Seating to the left. Hurry up, Mom.

Come on. Thank you.

And I'm meeting some interesting people.

Oh, they're popping corn is 3-D. Oh, the corn is popping in their face in the

3-D. But, Chef, that's not how 3-D works.

Oh, never mind.

Here's your ticket.

Oh, thanks.

Sir, your 3-D glasses.

Sir, your glasses.

Sir, don't you want your 3D glasses?

Oh, I don't need them. I've seen this movie 97 times.

See, my name is Lou Zealand.

I'm a boomerang fish thrower. I throw the fish away, and they come back to me.

Oh, here's my favorite part.

I hear them. The fish. They're coming from the game room. Oh, no.

The killer fish are attacking.

Go get them, guys.

So life is great here in Ohio.

Love, Scooter.

Here's one from Fozzie.

Dear Kermit, waka, waka, waka. But seriously, I'm in Maine. My job didn't

turn out too terrific, so I decided to hibernate.

Ah, back to nature. I love it out here in the woods.

It's where a bear should be.

How did they do it?

I've been trying to sleep for days.

Anybody got some warm milk?

Oh, brother.

Hello.

Oh, oh, I didn't know this cave was co-ed.

My name's Beth.

I'm Fozzie. I can't sleep either.

Maybe if we snuggle.

Kermit.

Here's one more. It's from Dr. Teeth.

Dear Kermit, how's the man?

We got this great gig here outside of Pittsburgh.

I tell you, frog, the band's wailing.

The music's cooking. The crowd here is also wailing and cooking.

Yeah, we're in hip city here.

See,

they're all doing pretty well.

Yeah, they are.

But you know, there are no letters from Gonzo or Ralph or Piggy.

Oh. I'm sure they've written.

Sometimes it just takes a while.

Yeah, sure.

Piggy's probably busy with some kind of terrific job.

Yeah. I guess they're all out there doing terrific.

Boy, if I could only sell a show. And then everyone could come back and we

could all do it together, like in the old days.

You'll do it, Kermit.

Well, thanks, Jenny.

That's been happening a lot lately over there.

I know.

It's New York.

Hey, Brizzo, I'm about ready for the second part of my plan. And I'm gonna

need your help. And all the other rats, too.

Hey, I think we could be making some overtime here.

And, Jenny, I need you to draw a picture of me.

Sure. Okay, what's the scoop?

Well, have you ever heard of a whispering campaign?

Good afternoon.

Kennedy Frog, my reservation secretary made a reservation for

me. Achoo!

Gesundheit. This way, please.

Afternoon, all.

Don't get up.

Keep eating.

Ta.

May I take your coat?

No. Uh, that is, uh, no thank you very much indeed.

That's the closest I ever want to be to a frog.

Okay, guys, do your stuff right. Right.

Okay, you start.

Say, isn't that that rich producer over there, the one who's investing in

Manhattan Melodies?

Yes, he's investing millions of dollars in Manhattan Melodies.

What's that all about, Manhattan Melodies? What's that?

Hey, isn't that Kermit the Frog, the big-time producer over there?

The producer? The big producer, dear.

It's the hottest thing coming to Broadway this season.

Hello.

Vincent?

Vincent?

Did I do something wrong? No.

Vincent, a frog.

Gee, that food smells good up there. Yeah, I'm starving.

So what's the third part of your plan?

I don't think there's going to be one.

I feel like I'm being a phony, and I can't take it anymore.

But I don't know what to do next.

All right.

Moping time's over.

How about a little exercise?

Well... I knew you wanted to. Oh, dear Lord.

Not jogging.

Wow. It's such a beautiful day.

Yeah.

Give me a break.

Come on. Let's go this way.

Okay.

Feel better?

Yeah. Good. Exercise does the trick.

Yeah. Stretch the old frog legs.

She stole my purse. What?

Click drive, fella. Come on. What?

That'll teach you to mess with a lady.

Understand?

Oh, oh, thank you so much. Thank you. Piggy.

Come here.

Are you okay?

What are you doing here?

Um, sightseeing.

But you're supposed to be out of town.

Yeah.

I do not wish to discuss it in present company.

Oh, Piggy.

That's okay, Kermit. I'll see you back at Pete's. Oh, okay.

I'm glad you're not hurt, Miss Piggy.

Piggy? What? Listen, what's going on?

Well, Vu is certainly looking different now. No gold chains, no shirt cut to the

navel, no tube.

Quelle différence?

What's with all this French stuff?

Uh, by sheer chance, I happen to learn French, and...

a job interpreting at the U.N.

What?

Can I get my skates back, please?

Hey, hey, just a second now. How did you know about that, too?

None of your beeswax!

Hey, have you been spying on me? I'll unlace them while you fight. It's no

trouble. Uh, Piggy, have you been spying on me?

Oh, maybe spying on Vu and that certain young girl of the opposite gender?

You two-timing her?

No, no, it's just Jenny. She's a friend. She's a friend. She's been trying to

help me sell the show.

He's got to sell the show.

What show?

Well, if she is just a friend, then what about the huggies?

What? The huggies?

You gave Jenny the huggies? You know, maybe, maybe, Comet, maybe it would have

been better if we had never have met. Then you and Jenny would not be

tormented by my presence.

See what the huggies will get you?

Listen, Jenny and I were hugging because we're friends. That's what friends do.

Friends do not spy.

Yeah, I forgot about that.

I spied because I care.

Well, I care too.

Well, why don't you say so? I just did. All right.

Keep the skates.

Keep the skates.

I never use them anyway.

I just like to run around in shorts.

Come on, Piggy.

Hey,

look, Waldorf.

It's the frog and the pig.

Yeah, looks like they're in love.

Yeah. Kind of makes you sick, doesn't it?

that it would have been better if we had never met.

In fact, I wish we'd met much sooner.

special thing I'm gonna always be loving you

gonna be a movie star and

I'm gonna learn to drive a car I'm gonna be a veterinarian too and I'm gonna

always love you

And she's going to learn to drive a car.

She's going to be a veterinarian too.

And I'm going to always love you.

Well, she's going to be a singer.

And she's going to learn to fly a plane.

She'll be a doctor of diseases and help you with your sneezes. And practice

neurosurgery on your brain.

I think the ride is over.

Bye,

Judy. See you tomorrow.

Yeah. Take care.

Well, uh, here we are.

And it sure is nice that we're all together like this, isn't it?

Hey, Pete, thanks for giving Piggy a job.

He's rats cooking, he's frog washing, he's pig waitress, he's no coffee shop,

he's zoo.

Yeah.

Hey, Kermit, come on.

What about the show? What are we gonna do next?

Oh, frog, his mailman come with letters for you. Oh, that must be more mail from

the gang. I'll have two eggs over easy, some dried... Pardonnez-moi, dear.

Is something wrong?

Do you believe in interspecies dating?

Well, I've gone out with some rats before, if that's what you mean.

Oh,

it's from Gonzo.

Great. It goes, Dear Kermit, I'm in Michigan.

Camilla and I have joined a traveling aquacane. It's not like Broadway, but I

have met some good-looking chickens here, and we put together this terrific

new act.

Everything's going swimmingly. Love, Gonzo.

Hey, here's one from Rolf.

Dear Kermit, how's the frog?

I'm in Delaware, and I found a terrific job in management.

I'm surrounded by friends, and I love what I'm doing.

I am Mr. Skeffington. One of my secretaries made a reservation for the

weekend in the name of Snookums.

Oh, yeah.

This is Snookums.

No,

Daddy wants his little Snookukums to be especially good this weekend while

Daddy is gone, or he'll be very angry.

Uh, don't worry.

We'll take good care of her.

Him. We'll take good care of him. Snookums is a him.

Strickens gets breakfast at 8 a.m., exactly.

Okay. Breakfast is quiche. Yes, sir.

Well, aren't you gonna write it down?

Photographic memory.

Write it down.

All gets quiche to eat, whatever that is.

Marvin, put him on the desk.

Do you have any toys around here?

Uh, what kind of toys would you like, sir?

Doggy.

Rubber balls, rubber fire hydrants, rubber newspapers.

Snookums prefers the rubber Wall Street Journal to the rubber Washington Post.

Don't we all?

Write it down.

Yeah, rubber Wall Street Journal, right.

Now our daddy is gone.

Little lumpy dum-dums won't have his daddy to give him washy scrubby.

Very impressive.

You speak Chinese like a native.

Now, shake hands.

Beg pardon? Shake, shake.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Good boy. Now, sit.

Yes, sir.

Stay.

Stay.

Stay. Stay.

Stay. Stay.

That was the most humiliating experience of my life.

Hey, Snooki!

Hey, look at little Snooki Wookum. Hey, Snooki Wookum's warm as gonna boney

wony.

Little binky booter.

Hey, you squishy bottom.

at your earliest convenience.

Sincerely, Bernard Crawford, producer.

I've heard of him. He's a big-time Broadway producer.

Really? Yeah.

Oh, Kermit, Kermit, maybe he wants you to sign a contract.

I better get over there right away.

Oh, Kermit, remember, just act confident. Like you know the show is

gonna kill him. Right.

Thanks, Jenny.

Oh, goodbye, Piggy.

and tell us what happens. Okay.

Hey, watch it. I'm sorry, but I have to get a contract so I can go out and kill

him.

Nah.

Uh, may I help you?

Uh, I'm looking for Mr. Crawford.

Are you coming to Frog?

Yeah.

Uh, I'm... I'm... Mr. Crawford. Oh, really?

Wow.

The office boy is out getting lunch.

You know, kids nowadays are always eating lunch.

Well, you want to go in your office? No, actually,

why don't we just have a seat over there for a minute, okay? Oh, sure, yeah.

You're very young to be a producer.

Oh, you noticed that, huh? Well,

I started out when I was very...

Look, can I tell you the truth?

The thing is, see, is that I'm not Bernard Crawford. I'm Ronnie Crawford. I

signed my father's name to the letter because I didn't think he'd come

otherwise. But I want to produce your show on Broadway.

You do? Yeah, yeah, I love it. It is so different. It's perfect for my first

production. See, my dad and I have this agreement. Ronnie, I'm coming up the

stairs and I want my...

Remember, you promised me that I could have one chance to become a Broadway

producer and that you would get the sets and the lights and the scenery and

everything. Well, I want to take that chance right now. This is Kermit the

Frog, and he has written a wonderful musical called Manhattan Melodies, and I

want to produce it.

When do we hear the great news?

Tell me, Mr. Arthur, what is this musical?

All dancing, all croaking?

Well, actually, it needs a little work, you know, because there's still

something missing.

You see, the two leads get married, and then there's this song that goes, Look

at me, here I am. Hold it. I'm allergic to amphibian singing.

Tell me, who's going to be starring in this masterpiece?

Well, it's just me and my friends. You know, they're all dogs and bears and

chickens and stuff.

Well, I told you, I want to do something different.

So put some jello down your pants.

Don't you realize that it might be against the law having a chicken dancing

on stage?

What? You mean you're gonna go back on your promise?

Who said that? Did I say that? I didn't say anything of the kind. I'll do

everything I said I would.

Just because this whole thing is ridiculous doesn't mean that it might

not make it on Broadway.

All right!

Now, when I started out in show business... Thank you, Dad!

Yeah, thanks, Dad.

Hello, Pete.

Jenny? Hermit? Yeah. What happened?

Listen,

we sold the show. The producer wants to put it on Broadway.

Really? What?

The producer said he's going to put the show on Broadway.

Listen,

tell Piggy she's going to be a star.

No, he's no there.

He's better wait.

Come, sit down.

But Kermit said he'd be here in ten minutes. He's never been gone like this

before. Listen, I tell you what is.

Peoples is peoples.

Is frog gone?

Yes. Is peoples worrying?

Is peoples looking?

Is no come.

But is peoples working?

Is water boiling?

Is come.

Yeah?

Peoples is peoples.

Piggy?

Piggy, I'm sure Kermit's all right.

Well, I bet he just got so excited about the show, he lost track of time.

No, no, he's missing. I know it.

Piggy, aren't you excited?

I mean, just think.

You're gonna be on Broadway in a few months.

Two weeks.

Uh, the show opens in two weeks.

Hey, hey, hey. Place is closed.

Oh, I'm Ronnie Crawford. I'm producing Kermit's show.

Oh, well, uh, we're Kermit's friends.

I'm Jenny. I'm her father. What do you mean, the show opens in two weeks?

Oh, well, my dad said that... Oh, I'm... I'm letting my dad help out the show.

Uh, he said that we could have the, uh, sets and the props and the costumes and

everything, but the show has to open in two weeks.

Did you just say Kermit is missing?

The writer and the star of my show is missing, and we open in two weeks?

No sweat.

Come on, Piggy, we'll find him. Oh, no, wait, wait, no, we gotta get his friends

back here, all those bears and chickens and things. Oh, right.

Pop, could you send telegrams to Kermit's friends?

Oh, please.

Hockey-dockey.

Let's go. Great, come on.

He's no sweat. I write good.

Dear bears and chickens and things, it's New York.

It's play.

It's time.

Comet needs me.

Beth, Beth, Beth, wake up. Hey, I'm going to New York City to be on

Broadway. I'm up, I'm up. It's spring.

All right, I'm up, I'm up, I'm up.

Hey, hey, hey, guys, we're going to New York.

See, girls?

We're going to New York.

We're going to New York.

New York City.

Good morning.

I see we've had our breakfast, haven't we?

Hi, Doctor.

Well, how's our amnesia patient this morning?

I don't know. I haven't been feeling like myself lately.

I tell you what, if I may, I'd like to check your reflexes once again today.

Just take a second.

A little slow.

and confused, but that's to be expected because, as you know, you have amnesia.

Now, I'm going to check out to see that there are no physical injuries one last

time.

Now,

this might hurt just for a minute, but it'll be over soon.

Adequate musculoskeleton response.

Now, I want you to take a deep breath. This will hurt.

All right, no rotator cuff dislocation.

Now let's try the mandible.

Peachy, no doubt about it, you have amnesia.

Now, the problem is you were found with no identification and, oddly enough,

wearing no clothing.

So... I did some research into the major nudist colonies in the area, and I think

I've come up with something.

Hmm?

You are Mr.

Enrico Tortellini of Passaic, New Jersey.

Well, I really don't feel Italian.

It was just a long shot.

Mr. X, I'm sorry to tell you this, but I think your case is hopeless.

Why don't you go out, find a nice job, and make a new life for yourself? What

we can do for you is give you a nice, clean set of clothes. Wish you a lot of

good luck.

Well, thank you, Doc.

So I said to him, I said, look, buddy, I don't take my clothes off for anyone,

even if it is artistic.

Janice, everybody, please.

I'm glad to see you two.

Excuse me.

Yes? I'm looking for the Gordon Employment Agency.

That's one floor down.

Oh, I see. Thank you.

Wait a minute.

Hold it. What's your name?

Um, uh, Phil.

Uh, Philip.

Philip Phil.

Philip Phil.

Catchy name.

Phil, I'm Bill, and this is Gil. Phil, I'm Gil, and this is Jill. Phil, I'm

Jill. You know, Gil and Bill.

Pleased to meet you.

Would you step into our office?

You see, we're looking for the opinion of the common ordinary frog on the

street. You see, Phil, we're in the ad game.

What do you advertise?

Ocean Breeze soap.

I never heard of that.

We know.

The truth is, Phil, our jobs are on the line.

Oh, here, sit down.

We've been working all night on a new slogan.

Tell us if you like it.

Ocean breeze soap for people who don't want to stink.

What do you think? Be frank, Phil.

I don't like it.

You don't?

Well,

how about ocean breeze soap? It's just like taking an ocean cruise, only

there's no boat and you don't actually go anywhere.

Seems a bit long.

Have you tried something simple like ocean breeze soap will get you clean?

Wait a minute. Wait just a second.

You mean just say what the product does?

No one's ever tried that.

Well, it's crazy.

It's nuts.

We love it. Thank you, Phil. If we could ever do something for you, let us know.

Well, I kind of need a job.

Hmm.

Phil? You've got one right here. We can always use a frog with horse sense.

Yes, welcome aboard, Phil. You are with us now.

Well,

Waldorf, they finally made it to Broadway.

Yep, and I already got tickets.

You did? Are they good seats?

They sure are. They're for the next train out of town.

Go!

So now the show opens in just one...

week the publicity started and tickets are already selling as i see it we're

gonna have to rehearse day and night to get ready and we have got to find kermit

hey who is this guy he's ronnie crawford he's producing the show who's she

she's jenny she's a friend of kermit's and and mine hey well what are we

standing around here for we gotta find kermit let's go

Have you seen a frog?

3% on the Richter scale. Now this revolutionary new slogan, which is Ocean

Breeze, will get you... Kermit!

I'm looking for a frog who can sing and dance. If he can also balance the

budget, I'll hire him.

Wow.

I thought opening night was supposed to be exciting.

Yeah, but not without our little green buddy.

Maybe we should just cancel.

No. No, no, it is opening night tonight, and the show must go on.

Kermit would want it that way.

Yeah. Yeah.

Well,

that was a great presentation you made this morning, Jill.

Well, thanks to Phil's flow chart.

Thank you, Jill. Hey.

How about a new place for lunch today?

This time I'll take the bill, Gil.

Oh, good. Something from the grill, Jill?

No. Meat makes me ill, Gil.

We better go to the theater now and get ready.

Just a couple of frogs.

No!

It's Kermit!

Kermit!

Kermit!

It's Kermit!

My,

what friendly service.

There must be some sort of mistake.

Hey, Phil, since you know the waiters, why don't you order for us?

Phil? What does he mean, Phil?

Kermit, what's wrong?

Are you speaking to me?

There's nothing wrong, and I think I will have the tuna melt, please, ma'am.

Like you don't know us?

Well, I'm afraid not.

Should I?

What do you mean, should you? Kermit, we have a show to put on, your show, and

it's opening tonight.

Well, seeing a show would be a pleasant way to spend the time, but I do have

some marketing data to review.

We have to get him to the theater. Yeah.

Kermit, this is for your own good.

Grab him!

Hey, they must not get a lot of repeat business here.

So the grizzly bear, he walks out of the room. Well, the panda bear is just

sitting there, and he thinks to himself, this is odd.

And then, what do you know? The phone rings.

You know who it is? It's the polar bear. And the polar bear, he says to the panda

bear, I didn't know it was a koala bear.

Get it?

Koala? Waka waka.

This is all very amusing, but I have to be going now.

No, wait. He doesn't remember.

It's no use. We've been trying for hours. There's nothing left to do. We

have to go on without him. Comet, please!

We need you! Come back to us!

Look, maybe you do know me, but I really don't remember you.

I wish I did.

You'd better take your places.

Piggy, what are we going to do?

Look at me.

You are not Phil.

You are Kermit the Frog.

That's Gonzo. That's Fozzie. That's Rolf and Scooter.

And they are your friends.

You wrote this show for them. That's Ronnie and Jenny. They're your friends,

too. And I'm Piggy. Now listen carefully.

With you?

In love with a pig?

What do I tell the guys in marketing?

Maybe you expect me to go hogwash?

isn't ready.

There's still something missing. No, it's terrific.

We gotta tell everybody Kermit's okay. Come on. Kermit, Kermit, do you remember

the opening number?

You mean... Look at me.

Here I am.

Right where I belong.

I see that face coming back to me like an old familiar song.

What better place could anyone be?

Cause you're here with me It's all I've been looking for and so much more and

now I'm here now you're here Nothing can go wrong cause I am right where I

belong

No, they cannot watch the show from backstage.

That's it.

That's what's been missing from the show. That's what we need. More frogs

and dogs and bears and chickens and whatever.

You're not going to watch the show. You're going to be in the show.

Come on, everybody.

Look

at

us. Here we are. Right where we belong.

curtains up and the lights are bright and they're playing our old song what

better place could anyone be cause you're here with me so everyone here

we go let's start the show

Somebody's getting married.

Somebody's getting married. Hey, somebody's getting married.

Wow, somebody's getting married.

Somebody's getting married.

Somebody's getting married.

Somebody's getting married.

Somebody's getting married. Somebody's getting. Somebody's getting. Somebody's

getting. Somebody's getting.

Somebody, somebody, somebody, somebody, somebody, somebody, somebody, somebody.

Somebody get some flowers.

Somebody get a ring.

Somebody get a chapel and a choir to sing.

Somebody get an organ to play.

Cause somebody's getting married today.

Somebody get a preacher.

Somebody make a cake.

Somebody get some shoes and rice and presents today.

Somebody get a sweet nightly shake.

Cause somebody's getting married today.

Wedding, wedding, pig and froggy wedding.

Somebody get champagne.

Somebody rent a room.

Somebody get the lovely bride and somebody get the, somebody get the,

somebody, somebody, somebody, somebody, somebody get this wedding underway.

Corsair Baker ding-a-roo today!

Somebody's getting married today!

Are they here yet? Are they here yet? Did I miss it? Am I late?

No, they'll be here any minute.

Oh boy, me can hardly wait. Yeah.

Isn't this exciting? It's the wedding of the year.

Well, can't we start without them? No, you can't until they're here. Hmm.

They're finally getting...

and sing.

He'll stand beside me and I'll have everything.

She'll make me happy each time I hold her

and I will follow where my heart may lead

and she'll be all

Piggy, I thought Gonzo was gonna play the minister.

Do you, Piggy, take this frog to be your

lawful wedded husband?

Do you?

You froggy, take this pig to be your lawful wedded wife until you die.

I do.

Then because you share a

with a friend

Saying goodbye, going away Seems like

goodbye's such a hard thing to say Touching a hand,

wondering why It's time for saying goodbye

Saying goodbye

Why is it sad?

Makes us remember the good times we've had.

Much more to say, foolish to try.

It's time for saying goodbye.

Don't want to leave, but we both know sometimes

it's better.

to go somehow I know we'll meet

again not sure quite where and I don't know just when

you're in my heart so until then

it's time