Original subtitles

Melissa, smart people told me writing and making amends is a part of the

process.

I'm not sure if you'll ever read this, but somehow writing you keeps me honest

with myself.

People say that it gets better with time.

they'll even quote some canned prayer or bible verse they stole off of a cheap

card

but as

time passed friends and family became strangers

i hated anyone's happiness

and even became jealous of their strength

How does a person even describe that kind of pain?

Alright guys, we got about an hour.

That kind of resentment that turns to rage.

They'll never tell you how cold and empty it leaves you.

That it feels just like fear.

And you don't recognize who you are.

Let's spend the day in bed.

Oh, God.

Don't tempt me.

What were we thinking trying to start a business?

We were going to be millionaires.

We're going to be fine.

Thank you.

For what?

Taking that job.

Oh, God. Can you get him ready this morning? I really need a jog.

I can, and I will.

Hey, it's time to get up.

I won't feel longer.

Ain't gonna happen. We're already running late, and I gotta swing by and

feed Mrs. Smith's cat.

Yeah, they're still doing that.

She's in the hospital.

Come on, hustle.

Breakfast is ready.

I need you to hustle.

Don't need you missing the bus again.

Dad, relax.

Look at you.

You're like a little ninja, aren't you?

All right. Eat your breakfast.

Have a great day, honey.

Love you.

Love you, too.

Mom, Daddy's crunchy again.

And my eggs are burnt.

They're not burnt. They're seared. And what have I told you about snitches?

They get stitches. That's right. They do.

Thank you.

Gotta go take a shower.

Have a great day.

Cody.

Cody.

Pay attention for the bus, okay?

Morning, Brad. Good morning.

Oh, hey.

While I got you here, I've got an open shift on Sunday if you want to take it.

Put me into overtime.

I'll make sure the overtime's taken care of.

Nice. I appreciate you thinking of me. Yeah, no problem. Here's your log.

Whoa. Hey, I'm the one that authorizes overtime?

Hi.

You the SEAL guy we hired a couple weeks ago?

Yes, sir.

Robert.

Brad. I had been working here for two years, never seen a Navy guy apply

before, much less a SEAL.

Well, it was a first for everything.

You know, after college, I thought about doing the whole Navy SEAL thing, but you

know how that goes.

Doctor said I had bad arches.

Oh, are you a gamer? Because last year, my team finished 18th at the convention.

We're down a sniper right now.

Robert, right?

I really need to get started on these patrols by my finishing time. Oh, yeah,

man, I get it. It's just, uh...

Just so you know, the guys from the office on my team tend to get a little

more overtime.

Wow, that is tempting.

I'll be on channel three.

Sounds good.

Melissa, I've got $1.23 for the gas in my car. Can you put some money on the

card so I can sleep next to my wife tonight?

No problem, sweetie. I'll put 50 on it.

Hey, other phones ringing. Gotta go.

Lance, Flowers may help you.

Speaking.

Yes.

Yes, I have some outstanding invoices that should cover it. If you could just

give us one more month, I...

Yes, but no.

So you're telling me that either we're going to lose our house or we're going

to lose our business?

Yes, I do understand your position.

Thank you.

Hey, honey, can you grab the salt and pepper, please?

Sure.

Oh, thank you. You're welcome.

Cody, you want to say grace tonight?

Yeah. All right.

God is good. God is great. Thank you for the food on our plate. Amen. Oh, and

keep Mom and Dad safe and help them with the garden shop.

Amen. Amen.

Thank you, Cody.

Do you remember Stanley?

Your Navy friend that you used to ride with?

Mm-hmm.

I talked to him this morning.

Oh, how's he doing?

Good. He's heading down to the Gulf for a fishing trip and wants to swing by the

house. Is he going to stay for lunch or dinner?

No.

He's stopping by to pick up the bike.

I sold it to him this morning.

Honey, I'm sorry. I know how much you love that bike.

What were you dreaming about?

I was in this attack, and we were being overrun.

Denver was there, only he was still alive.

I'm sorry.

Damn, I never get my rifle to work right in these dreams.

Damn, I really miss him.

How you doing, man?

I'm doing great.

See, you still got this piece of shit.

Yeah, I figure once Cody gets a little bit older, we're going to rebuild it

together. And she is looking good.

Come on, man. You know me.

Oh, yeah.

I know you're going through some stuff right now, but we've all been there.

Hey, just think of me as her babysitter.

We'll get her back once you get to a better place.

Thank you.

Hey, you want a beer?

No, I'm good.

You sure? They're cold.

Yeah, yeah.

Man, I can't do that anymore. You got anything else?

I got water for pussies.

Yeah, well, I got money for a little Johnson.

Trade you. All right.

So what's going on with your leg?

Eh, it's actually my lower back.

Fucking VA, man. You know, you remember when I lifted Steven's fat ass over that

wall in Solder City and messed up my back?

Yeah, that was the day you took a round in the vest. Yeah, I got lucky on that

one. Hey, man.

I need to ask you something.

What's up?

You, uh, you ever have nightmares?

Like, uh, considering all the stuff we've been through?

I mean, I guess it'd be weird if you didn't, huh?

But have you started to like him?

That's why God made whiskey.

That was fun.

I'm sorry, honey.

Yeah. See if we can keep it in the budget from now on.

He paid cash?

Good morning, killer.

Morning. Can I watch a history channel?

I don't know. Is there something wrong with your eyes?

May I?

There's some work to do in the yard first.

Not again!

Damn it, Melissa! Did you pay the power bill?

With what, Brad?

We don't have any money! Jesus Christ!

Do you know they're not open until Monday?

It's okay, Dad. I don't have to watch TV.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

Look, it's not like we can cook anything here anyways.

We got money now.

Why don't we all just go out to dinner?

I think we could all use it.

Well, now that you mention it, Sherry and Mike did ask if we wanted to try a

new restaurant with them.

Sherry the vegetarian?

She said they have a huge menu and I've heard that their steaks are awesome.

Steak does sound pretty awesome.

But sitting with your snowflake lived hard friends doesn't.

Brad. What? They are.

We're gonna change so you can help dad finish the yard.

Are you okay?

I'm really sorry.

It's just a stupid mic.

Mom, Dad, since I can't watch TV all weekend, can we get a cat?

A cat? What?

No, Cody, we have been over this.

But Ms. Brower has a cat that had six kitties, and she says they're all free.

I could pick whichever one I want.

Well, Mrs. Brower's cats probably prefer houses with electricity.

Confederate soldiers had a black cat at Fort McAllister.

They didn't have electricity.

Well, the Yanks took that fort down in 15 minutes.

Cats are evil, son.

I'm so glad you guys came out with us tonight.

Oh, me too. This was a much-needed break.

So, Melissa tells me that you make... ridgery didgers?

What? That was this mic, right?

While I'm finishing up my doctorate, on the side, I make didgeridges.

What the hell is a didgeridoo? Dad!

Sorry, Cody. There's another dollar in the curse jar.

It's a wind instrument made with hollowed-out wood.

It makes a sound like, um... Mmm...

I know what you're talking about.

Has Melissa not shown you the pictures?

Sometimes when he's working late and I'm feeling all alone and missing my boo, I

put one in the bed and it makes me feel like he's close.

Aw, that is so sweet.

And weird.

Honey, it's not weird. I sleep with Wood all the time.

Miss Sherry, why are you a snowflake libtard?

Well, I think the correct term is liberal.

And yes, we are.

You see, this is what I deal with.

Somebody needs to seriously watch what they say around our son.

Mom, since our power's out, how do I charge this?

Would this all be on one check?

Yes.

We can split it.

I've got it.

Go ahead.

We can split.

I've got it.

Okay, I'll be right back.

Cody, when we get home, it's going to be bedtime.

Excuse me.

I need to use the restroom.

Y'all ready to go?

Where are the stars?

It's raining.

The clouds are covering them.

Do you think there are Confederate constellations up there?

Huh. If there were, they'd figure out a way to take them down by now. Let's get

you to bed.

We go to the pond tomorrow.

Tell you what, when I get off work, we'll go.

I want to grow up to be just like you.

I love you so much.

Get some sleep.

Dad, can we please get a cab? No.

So young I thought my time to

build in Christ at last

of heart and soul

and so proud and full I

know sometimes we're all more comfortable.

We are.

I'll show you.

There's a ton of food left.

Do either of you want a plate?

Do you have anything for a headache?

This is my fault.

I'm drowning without him.

Honey, it's not your fault.

Mr. and Mrs. Johnson?

Yes. Hello, my name is Fatima.

We spoke on the phone. Nice to meet you.

This way.

Mr. Johnson.

Where are you from?

Thank you for taking the time to come and see me today.

I know how hard this must be for you and I'm really sorry

This has to be so difficult for the both of you Um,

I wish I had some good news, but your claim is under investigation And I'm

glad you're here in person so we can go over the details and handle this matter

as quickly as possible Why is our claim under investigation?

Unfortunately, mrs. Johnson, it's standard procedure for a claimant who's

as far behind on their mortgages as you are when the incident happened.

Fuck you.

Sir? Brad.

It wasn't an incident. It was a fucking accident.

Brad, please. I'm so sorry. I did not mean to imply... Imply what?

That I burned my son alive for insurance money?

An incident is blowing a terrorist's head off with a single shot from over a

thousand yards away.

An accident was killing the asshole that stood behind him.

It's a theme of Fukia Fatima. Brad!

Look at me!

Why can't I wake up from this nightmare?

Hello?

Brad?

Is that you?

Hello?

Yeah.

Where are you?

Are you okay?

I haven't heard from you in weeks.

I'm okay, Melissa.

Brad, we have to talk.

I'm still staying at my sister's.

Could you come here?

Tomorrow?

Please?

Okay.

Hello. Have you been here before?

I just need a shower and something to eat.

Okay, sweetie.

I just need you to read the rules and then sign in here.

As you can see, there will be a mandatory church service at 8 p.m.

tonight.

Will you be staying tonight?

No.

Are you sure?

The beds are comfy.

All right, Ted Nugent.

What's this?

It's a local group that helps veterans find work.

Pays decent.

Who's Colonel McKinley?

He's the gentleman who founded it in memory of his son.

What happened?

He was killed in Fallujah.

Damn. You know him?

Yeah. Our families go way back.

Our kids grew up together.

Colonel's having a hard time with it.

Well, for you, the

showers are just down the hall on the right after the disco ball.

I'm kidding.

It's just past the cafeteria.

Are you a vet?

I saw your tattoo in the shower.

You know, I was a Navy SEAL in Iraq.

We worked real close with the CIA targeting HVTs in

restricted areas.

Oh, wow. That was some deep underground stuff, like Black Ops style.

An HVT is a high-value target?

I know what they are.

Which team were you with?

The, um... The 77th Spec Ops.

The, um... Sniper Battalion.

Your friend's a liar.

Does he have a mental disorder?

I am not lying.

Yes, you are.

If you're not batshit crazy...

then you're a queer that likes to stare at naked guys in the shower.

I am not a queer.

I was part of a secret team that nobody knows about.

There's only three of me in the entire world.

Oh, that's cute. Like Charlie's Angels.

I am not a liar.

Hey, hey, hey. What's going on here?

Billy, have you taken your meds? Ah, he is crazy. I thought he wanted to suck my

dick. Whoa.

Listen, this here is a Christian organization.

We don't talk like that. I'm gonna have to ask you to leave.

What? And stealing Valor's okay?

Look, I don't know you or your story, but I do know you reek of alcohol.

And if I had to guess, you're probably high.

You're already violating our rules.

That man, he has problems that I'd be willing to bet neither you nor I can

pretend to understand.

But he's been sober for six months.

If you knew anything about the flavor of his mental illness...

then you know what an accomplishment that is.

So if he wants to steal a little valor when he forgets to take his meds because

it makes him feel like someone with a shred of dignity,

well, this retired gunnery sergeant's okay with that.

It's just been one of those days, you know?

Look, I've changed my mind. You don't have to go.

I've missed you.

What's this?

Have a seat.

I know that with all that has happened here, it deserves time to heal.

And I can't even begin to imagine the pain.

Everyone in this room loves you, Brad. You know that.

That's why we're all here today, to tell you how we feel.

Cynthia?

Brad, I have loved you like a brother ever since Melissa and you started

dating. You're an incredibly loving father and a good husband to my sister.

But since that night, you have changed.

We've all changed.

But we can't go on like this.

Melissa needs you now.

Please, let us help you.

Melissa.

Brad, losing you like this is killing me.

You got fired from your job.

You're gone for weeks at a time with an occasional drunken phone call.

I know you're hurting.

We all are.

We have to find a way to move past it.

I don't know why you left me, but I love you.

And I need you.

Please don't give up on us.

You're my best friend, remember?

We've found a way for you to get help.

People that will help with the alcohol, the drugs, and the loss.

You won't have to do this alone.

But if you don't let us help you if you don't agree to this help Our hands will

be tied You will no longer be welcome in these folks lives Bradley I need you to

look at me If you don't take this opportunity Melissa is prepared to ask

for a divorce

I wonder what our son would think about this.

No, no.

Do not bring Cody into this. This is about us.

I lived through the nightmares, the deployments, and the never-ending

training trips.

I feel like all I've done is wait on you, Brad, and I'm tired of it.

You get this help, or I want a divorce.

Melissa, with Opie and Luke gone, the team needs guys with my experience.

They need me.

We're having a baby, Brad.

What? We're having a baby.

Really? Yes.

It only took 10 years.

Oh, my God.

Are you sure?

Yeah.

I've been a little sick, and I had a hunch, so I went to the doctor.

Bradley, please, please reconsider getting out. Please.

Baby, I am so happy for us right now. I promise the next four years is it. And

we'll get out. We'll start that little garden shop that we always talked about.

It'll just be our family. Oh, my God.

Huh?

Hey man, listen.

So my disability comes in a week, maybe sooner.

I got any credit?

Hey, man.

Are you stupid?

This ain't no charity.

Where's the ride?

I sold it. You got the usual?

Add some new shit.

Hey, man.

There's two pink ones in there.

On the house.

Do not take them at the same time.

So, which story does the birthday boy want to read tonight?

Let's read the Makeup a Star game.

Oh, okay.

Who's going to start?

You start.

All right, let me think here.

Once upon a time, there was a king, a queen, and a prince.

You go.

All right, let's see. They all lived in a castle, but outside the castle lived a

scary monster.

Hmm. And the monster's name was Boogers.

Boogers smelled like the bathroom after Daddy used it.

And Boogers liked to leave dishes in the sink and pee on toilet seats. Oh, I see

what's happening here.

Well, as it turns out, the queen was really an evil witch.

And she made everybody clean the castle all the time. All the time. All right.

Well, the queen was so mean that she even made the king sleep on the couch.

She wouldn't. She would.

Well, the queen will walk around the castle all the time.

Like.

Oh, my God. Did you hear about so-and-so? I can't believe that she

would say that about her.

You can only see.

She's not my sweetheart.

Must be her.

Damn it, where the fuck are you hit?

I'm okay with this.

God damn it, I need a fucking medic now!

I'm okay with this.

Or how about maybe when you're having these nightmares, you take off all your

clothes?

Why? Because you can't fight no more naked, and maybe it'll change the dream

for you.

what do you think denver you think she's right about getting

naked

hey

guys

What's so funny? Oh, you gotta check this out, man. This naked homeless guy

getting chased by a cop. Yeah?

Yes, hi.

I was wondering if I could check to see if somebody's being held in your

custody.

Bradley Johnson?

Okay.

Thanks.

Which day was he released?

That was five days ago. Do you have an address for him?

Yeah, no.

It's okay.

Understood.

Thanks for your help.

Do you remember Dad?

Not much. I mean, he was fat and yelled a lot.

Why did he leave?

Mom says it's because he wasn't a Christian.

Do you miss him?

Not much.

He was mean.

Besides, I got you, stupid.

I smile because you're my brother.

I laugh.

because there's nothing you can do about it.

Can I help you?

I'm looking for Mrs. Melissa Johnson.

Rivera. I'm sorry?

It's Melissa Rivera now.

Oh, I see.

My apologies.

How can I help you?

My name is Jim Johnson.

Bradley is my brother.

Bradley didn't have a brother.

Yeah, well, it's a long story, ma'am, but Bradley really is my brother, I

promise. Let's see. He joined the Navy.

I don't know. He had a birthmark under his armpit shaped kind of like a

Florida. Our mom's name was Edith.

Why wouldn't Bradley have told me that he had a brother?

I apologize for showing up unannounced, and I can come back later if you're

busy. But I really believe my brother's in trouble.

We can take a break. Would you like to come in?

Please. Okay.

It's this way.

With Thunderstorm, there's another full-fledged group. It's that time of

year.

Morning. Morning.

I'm looking for my brother.

I was wondering if there was somebody here I could talk to.

Sure, sweetie.

I just need you to sign there.

Chuck, we have a visitor here looking for his brother.

How you doing?

Come on back.

Have a seat.

Who is it you're looking for again?

He's, uh, my brother, Bradley Johnson.

Does he know you're looking for him?

Most likely not.

Well, here's the deal, then.

If he's here, all I can do is take your information and give it to him. From

there, it's up to him.

Understood. Let's see here.

No?

Is there a different name he might be using?

I don't know.

How about a picture?

Oh, yeah. I saw that video last week. That guy's your brother?

Yeah.

I was a little surprised I recognized him.

The guy was here a long time ago.

I guess you guys haven't done a very good job of keeping in touch.

That's one way of putting it.

You might have some luck down on Washington Street.

Please, I just want to talk. No.

Please, I've been looking for you.

You want to talk to me now?

What's it been, Jim?

30 years?

30 fucking years and you want to talk to me now?

Yeah, I saw the video. I want to help.

You want to help?

I don't need your help. I never have.

Where was this help back then?

You know, when you chose being a faggot over being a brother.

Mom kicked me out. You knew that.

She thought I was going to infect you. I had no choice. Oh, come on.

You had a choice.

But you chose dick.

You know, after you left for your little fairyland life, Mom got cancer.

She was sick for three years.

Do you have any idea how hard it is to take care of somebody with cancer?

I tried, Brad.

Look.

Even if I had been able to talk to you, do you think that you would have treated

me any differently than the way you are now?

Being gay is not a choice, Brad.

I mean, who would choose that, especially back then?

I got kicked out of my house, fired from two jobs, and got my ass beaten so badly

I was in the hospital for a week and could no longer taste food.

That was my fairyland life, Brad.

You feel better getting that off your chest.

You okay?

Can you sit up?

Bastards took my shit. Where are you headed?

I just want to cool off!

It's a fucking laundromat.

The cops will kick you out, man. They drive by it all the time.

We're nice.

Ted.

Good luck.

Hey.

They took my shit.

You carrying a weapon?

I was.

You're going to have to let me search you.

Good thinking, Ted.

It's not like I could be robbed of much else.

Put your hands behind your head.

Put your hands behind your head.

Hey, watch that one. Watch that one. Hey, stop! What was that?

What was that?

I'd like to keep a little on you.

Oh, don't worry, I'm not an addict.

It's like a wise man once said, everything in moderation, including

moderation.

What's it like?

Like nothing else.

Come on, follow me.

Can't thank you enough.

Nice digs, Ted.

It's just for the night.

I know.

Hey, so this is off-limits, all right? If it rains, I'll let you sleep

underneath this tarp, but stay away from my tent.

Fair enough.

I guess you don't get really bothered out here very much, do you? I like the

quiet.

Hey, um...

All right.

I've got to admit, I thought you'd be more of a stick in the mud.

I'm gonna put this right here like a tourniquet.

Mind if I ask you a personal question, Ted?

You got any kids?

I have a son.

I have a niece.

Two little nephews.

How are they doing?

I couldn't tell you.

It's been a minute.

Just say I did some time.

How much time are we talking?

A little over a year.

A year? That doesn't sound bad. What happened?

It's a little difficult for most people to understand.

Look, man, I don't think there's anything out there that can surprise me.

I was a funeral director for 16 years.

16 years in the same place.

Had a co-worker suspect me of drinking on the job.

So he reported me to management.

Didn't even have the balls to ask me.

That same funeral home was a favorite for parents whose kids had died in,

uh... in the cancer center.

I guess mainly because we had this parlor with murals, little kids running,

smiling, jumping into the arms of Jesus.

You wanna take that off?

Wait, are you talking about the one up north off the interstate with the big

sign? That's the one.

Anyway, they installed hidden security cameras.

And many times I've been in that place, you'd suspect that I would have noticed

it.

I should have noticed it.

How are you feeling?

I feel kind of groggy. It's hard to move.

Is that normal?

Yes, it is.

Well, anyway, they caught me drinking on the job.

I was preparing Russell.

Beautiful, angel-haired little boy.

It was a hard job.

Can you blame a man for drinking?

Cameras caught me doing something else.

I mean, we were taking delivery of naked boys on a weekly basis.

Every time I think about those sweet little kids.

You're a pedophile?

I am not a pedophile!

It's called something different, which is why I'm not still in prison.

It is different.

especially under state law, but you can imagine what people do to people like me

when they think they're a pedophile in prison.

I'll tell you what they did.

They hovered over the stall like wolves waiting for me to finish.

And every time those faggots raped me, another piece of me

died.

Until there was nothing left.

So who are you?

Always that loud.

Look, try to think about it from his perspective.

What? Like a drunk homophobe?

I'm willing to bet he doesn't resent you because you're gay.

I bet it's because you left.

That's not what he'd say.

He was 15.

He doesn't want anybody's help.

Especially not mine.

Maybe, but I know you, Jim.

You've held on to this regret for a long time.

And I know how unhappy you were at our wedding when you had no family there.

What are you doing?

I'm letting work know I'm taking some personal days.

Hey, Ray.

Can I have that whiskey Bobby gave you for your birthday?

That's a little unorthodox for an olive branch, don't you think?

Maybe.

It's in the pantry above the fridge.

Thank you.

I love you.

Dad, relax.

Cody? Oh my gosh.

Wait, wait. Cody, wait. Cody, what are you doing?

I regret to be just like you.

Cody!

I love you so much.

Where am I? What is this?

Dad, it wasn't your fault.

You disgust-

Because I'm your brother

You're

married eight years poor guy

What about kids

I have a son.

I know.

I met Melissa trying to find you.

How is she?

Worried.

Aside from that she seems okay.

Is she with someone?

I'm not the father he would be proud of.

I'm not even human anymore.

I would have killed myself a long time ago, but I knew I'd never have a chance

to see him again.

I never wanted any of this.

Here you go, buddy.

Thank you, sir.

I lost something.

A lot, actually.

Everything that mattered to me.

I was trained to be one of the most elite combat operators in the world.

There was nothing I couldn't handle.

Or so I thought.

I've taken two oaths in my life.

I took one to stand by my country, and another to stand by my wife.

My blood.

My family.

I broke the most important one.

That is why I'm here.

I'm here because I got caught up in thinking it was all about me.

I tried to hide the demons when I returned from deployments, and then I

selfishly put her through even more when we lost our son.

You know, I can still hear them.

See him.

Feel him.

I can even smell him sometimes.

I'm not the hero of my story, and I have to somehow accept that.

Being in rehab is like being behind that wall in Iraq when we were pinned down

taking heavy fire.

We had to get to some armored vehicles, or we were gonna die.

And the thought of running through that shitstorm was scary as fuck.

Here, I'm safe.

But the reality is, I have to go back out into that firefight.

And that scares me.

My name is Brad Johnson, and I'm an addict.

Wow, look at you.

Yeah.

They got a volunteer that comes by.

You hungry?

Starving. Food here sucks.

How's it going?

It's going.

Hey, you'll be happy to know that the guy that lives next to me is a pansexual

Satanist. Is he cute?

I actually feel bad for the kid.

He's like 25, and this is his fourth time.

Oh.

Jesus. Yeah.

Thank you, by the way.

Oh, please. The sandwiches were two for one.

No, for floating the bill on all this stuff.

It's nothing.

Two more weeks?

Two more weeks.

Have you ever heard the saying, to forgive others, you must first forgive

yourself?

I've thought a lot about what happened to you when Mom kicked you out.

You didn't ask for any of that.

A couple nights ago, I was praying that I could find a

way to forgive myself and deal with all of this guilt.

And when I woke up...

It was like breathing for the first time.

Maybe I just needed some time being sober, or maybe it was God.

I guess what I'm trying to say is I understand why you left.

Please forgive me for not understanding sooner.

Cheers. Hey.

Marley? Hey, Brad.

No, actually, you're right on time. Have a seat.

So, this is it.

How do you feel?

Optimistic. I'll take optimistic.

SEAL community really pulled through for you.

I wish more veterans who came through here were so lucky.

In there, you'll find the address and keys for your new apartment, of which

the first six months is covered,

a bus pass for a year, details for your new job.

There's also a food gift card to help you get by until your first paycheck.

Can you imagine if I screw this up?

It would be worse than owing money to the mob.

I wouldn't want a bunch of Navy SEALs out to get me.

You have a sponsor.

Use him.

You can do this.

A day at a time.

So, uh, need a ride?

Yeah, I do. All right. Let's go. Okay.

I smile because you're my brother.

All right.

We'll end up covered in glitter.

Let's get out of here.

Brad.

Hey, Brad.

Got a call on line three. Make it quick.

Okay.

This is Brad.

Okay.

Yeah, I know where that, it's not that far from where I work.

There's a bench on the south side.

Okay.

All right if I sit?

Yeah, of course.

Thanks.

So are you a writer now?

I don't know, trying.

Mind if I ask what you're writing about?

It's a manifesto of sorts.

Just a bunch of thoughts I'm going to share in AA.

Oh, how's that going?

Good.

It's a...

I get my bronze chips soon.

It's a year.

A year sober.

Congratulations, Brad.

Here.

Keep it.

Just save me the embarrassment of reading it now.

I think you'll find it interesting.

But don't you need it for your meeting?

I got it on the old computer.

So, you're pregnant.

Yeah.

I'm obviously not as young as when we had Cody.

If something falls to the ground, it's staying there. I am not picking it up.

Very ready for this little girl to be out.

That's great.

So, your brother has been giving me some updates.

Hey, he's really a good guy.

Yeah, he is.

And he basically saved my life.

Just wrapping my head around the whole gay thing, you know?

Getting better with it.

Accepting people for who they really are.

I'm proud of you, Brad.

So I'm moving to Atlanta soon.

Oh, really? What for?

It's me moving on.

I'm happy for you.

This is a restless little sucker.

Do you want to feel?

Do you remember the first time that Cody kicked?

So, um, the real reason that I wanted to see you is, um,

the insurance settlement finally came through.

I hope it's enough to get you started in Atlanta.

You did everything right.

You never deserved what I put you through.

I just didn't know how to live without him.

And the guilt, the guilt was just so endless.

Everything reminded me of him, even you.

I probably took the longest road to get to this point, but by the grace of God,

I found a way to forgive myself.

Will you forgive me too?

I did that a long time ago.

Are you okay? Yeah.

I just never know if it's the baby or if I actually have to pee.

I'll be right back, okay?

Okay.

Are you okay?

There

you

are.

Ever since

I was a little boy,

I've had dreams about being chased.

I never knew what was chasing me.

But I know now I don't have to run.

I'm willing to accept the things I cannot change.

And I don't have to be the hero of my story.

Because that's you.

One day, I will hold our son in my arms again.

And I will be the man he wanted to grow up to be.

And if I had to guess, unfortunately, cats go to heaven.

So he's probably got a million of them just to irritate me.

I know I've got a lot of work ahead, and it's not going to be a cakewalk.

But hey, like any Navy SEAL will tell you, the only easy day was yesterday.

But if you told me I never thought I'd see it all this way But

I gave my life to the army But only if they needed There's lots of troubles out

there to use me that way I found that the folks there are just about the same

Just about the same everywhere I go

There's a soccer field in Baghdad. Kids laughing, kicking, and falling, and

rolling, and playing. Keep away.

And they'll run away, and they'll misbehave. But mama's still mama. Yeah,

their mama's whooped their asses just the same.

They found that children, they're just about the same.

Just about the same, maybe we're like.

Kids playing in the yard, riding bikes without their helmets, and old men

laughing over beers and game.

Ladies talking about girls, talking about friendships and girls, and the

simplicity of freedom, dignity, and love.