All language subtitles for santas.boot.camp.2016.dvdrip.x264-spooks-HI

Subtitles by explosiveskull

Looking good, Santa.

Hey, Santa. Here we go.

Rosy cheeks.

Rosy nose.
Oh, that's rosy, okay.

Ho, ho, ho!
Merry Christmas.

Hey, not bad, Santa.

What can I bring
you for Christmas?

[voices chattering]

That puppy will be
there Christmas morning.

So get up early or it'll
poop under the tree okay?

Now grab your candy cane
and have a great Christmas.

Come here, little girl.

[groans]

Whoa, it's not
New Year's Eve yet.

Whew!

Okay, so I have written
some things down.

[sighs]

I want a mansion in Cali,

but not the ones in the city.

I want one on the mountainside, maybe
with a pool, palm trees around it.

And a three-car garage.

- Can you do that?
- Yes, I can.

Whoa!

- Man.
- [girl] What?

Come on, you know,
you suck at baseball.

Shut up, Zoe.

You know that I got
all the brains

and athletic ability
in this family.

You just got hit
with the ugly stick.

Okay, no you don't, and do you
want to get hit with this instead?

- No. You must be adopted.
- Adopted? I'm not adopted.

- I'm not adopted!
- Mother, look at those two children fighting.

- Adopted, really?
- I see that, Cedric.

- I would never do that.
- Of course you wouldn't, honey.

I'm not adopted.

Yes, you are, by circus freaks.

Those parents need to
control their children better.

Clearly they don't provide
the type of parental guidance

needed to raise
a child properly.

Wow, wow, wow, circus freaks.
Shut up!

Circus elephants.

Shut up, is that a fat joke?

Yes!

- You guys.
- Oh, my God!

Zoe, Eric please stop, okay.

Otherwise, we're not
going to see Santa.

Alright, come on.

Eric this is all your fault.

Ho, ho, ho and off
you go young lady.

I'll see what I can
do Christmas morning. Next!

Hello, young man.

You're a little too tall for this
line, but let's talk about it.

Oh, I want a monkey
that can speak Spanish.

- Okay, what's your name?
- Justin.

The problem with monkeys,

they don't really speak
a language that we know.

They speak Monkey.

I thought they
could do anything.

No, they can only
speak Monkey and climb.

But I'll tell ya what I'll do.

I'll bring ya a monkey
who speaks Monkey.

- Oh, for real?
- It'll be there Christmas morning.

- Ho, ho, ho, Merry Christmas!
- Thank you.

Grab your candy cane.
Come on, young lady.

I am so excited to see Santa!

[chuckling]

That's fantastic,
I'm so glad we came.

This is so lame.
I don't want to be here.

I don't want to sit
on that bozo's lap

with his fake beard
and polyester suit.

Not fake, not polyester.
Come on, Sarah.

Come on, Drake,
this is lame, man.

What, you afraid you're gonna
be on Santa's naughty list?

No, shut up. I'm sayin' I got
better things to do with my time.

- Yeah, like what?
- Yeah, like what?

But, sweetheart,
you've always liked Santa.

News flash, kiddos,
Santa isn't real!

Oh, really?

But you're gonna sit on his
lap and you're gonna love it.

Alright, whatever, dude.

Look, man, just because you don't
have a life doesn't mean I don't.

Then leave.

- Look, man, I was just tryin' to...
- No, leave.

No one's stopping you.

Why did you even
drag us here, mother?

He's a little old
for Santa, okay?

I could be doing so
much more with my time.

And, what would you like
for Christmas, Victoria?

A pony with a
diamond-lined saddle.

A pony with a
diamond-lined saddle.

The problem with animals is we
have to check with the parents.

And what can I do for you?

I want a swimming pool
for Christmas.

A swimming pool? We have a
problem with a swimming pool,

I can't fit it in the sleigh.

I really, really
want a baby brother.

You really want a baby brother. Well, the thing
about that, you gotta talk to mom and dad.

Santa can't help.

I would like to
understand women.

You'd like to
understand women.

I will bring you a book.

I really want a
palace on a cloud.

The problem with
a palace on a cloud,

I can't get it in the sleigh.

A gigantic pink limo
with a mini mall inside.

- It won't fit in the sleigh.
- [girl] A pet dinosaur.

The problem with dinosaurs
is they're extinct.

- I would like a time machine.
- A private jet.

Private islands
don't fit in sleighs.

You're such an idiot!

I better get what
I want this year, Santa.

- I hate Christmas.
- You let me down last year!

I'm so done.

If I don't get what I want,
you're gonna be in big trouble.

All I can promise you is,
I'll see what I can do.

- Thank you, Santa.
- Ho, ho, ho, Merry Christmas.

- Come on, young lady.
- Hi, Santa.

- What's your name?
- I'm Cacie.

- Cacie, lovely name.
- Thanks.

What would you like
for Christmas, Cacie?

Well, I really wanna
get my braces off.

[farting noise]

No, no, that was not me.

I don't, that's not...

Everyone does it,
Cacie, it's okay. What else?

- Well, I also...
- [farting noise]

Cacie, are you
serious right now?

He's not even real.

I...

It's a fake Santa, get him!

I'm real, I just don't have a...

[all yelling]

Everybody settle down!

This is Christmas,
not a wrestling match!

Okay, that's it!

[beeping]

Good Gobstoppers.

- What, what is it, Tiny?
- Uh, nothing Diva.

It's not from Corky.

Guys, Tiny's got
a video from Corky!

You do realize that
this is it, right?

[all] Yeah.

If we pull the trigger
on this, right here, right now,

we could go on strike!

Junior, send out the code!

Code 33, I repeat, it's code 33!

[yelling]

Bye, bye.

[chatter and yelling]

I'm so sorry, Santa.

Diva, no!

Are you guys really just
going to leave Santa

in his most critical
time of need?

That's how it's done, Tiny.
Otherwise, we lose our leverage!

I'm not striking.
I'm gonna stay with Santa.

Typical Santa sympathizer.

Are you guys just gonna leave?

What about all the nice kids?
What about Christmas?

It's nothing personal!

Where's Junior? Do we have
notice to old jelly-belly ready?

Put Saint Fuzzy Pants
on the screen.

[beeping]
[line ringing]

Why am I not surprised
to hear from you, Diva?

You always seem to make your
demands at the most critical time.

I gave you a Vision
and Dental last year.

I can't imagine what
it's gonna be this time.

This is more than
just a demand, Santa.

- Shut up.
- She's right, it's bigger this time.

It's different!

The elves,
have decided, to strike.

What!

You heard her!

We're walking off
the job on this one, Santa.

We want equal credit
for Christmas from the public.

Yeah, we're the ones that have to check the
list twice to see who's naughty or nice.

Not you.

And we want better
working conditions,

which includes the
kids that aren't brats.

- I can't control that.
- Well, you need to!

We've been slaving around, making these
monsters toys for years upon years

and guess who gets
all the credit? You!

And we're the ones working
and you're just the face.

As of now,
the elves are striking.

Junior, send out
the signal, Code 33.

I'm on it.

This is ridiculous,
you can't do this!

Watch me, Nicky.

Bye, bye.

Now, where was Corky working?
Atlanta! Atlanta.

Atlanta. Atlanta, ah...

- [kids shouting]
- [sighs]

Desperate times call
for desperate measures.

Drake. Cacie.

Sarah. Johnny.

Zoe.

Cedric.

Welcome, my little friends.
Welcome.

You have been hand-picked
by me to save Christmas.

You see, my elves went on strike
today because of kids like you,

so I figured it's only fair
to recruit you to do their work.

Welcome to my boot camp!

- Oh, my God, you're real?
- Yeah, oh, my God.

Santa, I for one always
knew that you were real.

However, there has to be
some kind of mistake

because I am a good kid and the
elves would not go on strike

because of someone like me.

Yes, Mr. Clause, sir. I assure you that
while I only have the utmost respect

for you and your
decision-making abilities,

that I too have
been miscategorized.

You see, I'm the kid that
lets teachers know about kids

like, like him.

Dude, I don't know what
you're talking about,

but you better shut
your mouth, now!

There are no mistakes.
You are all meant to be here.

You are standing in the middle of
the training ground for our elves.

When an elf is chosen
to be one of my helpers,

a very special honor by the way,

he or she is brought here to learn
how to make the toys and...

...well be Santa's
little helper.

Where is here?

That Johnny is only
for me to know.

But what about our parents?

You know that they're
going to be worried

and they're gonna look for us.

Ho, ho, ho!
I'm not worried about that!

Sir, again, if I may speak,
I'm so sure that my mother

is worried sick
about me not being with her.

She won't even let me use the
men's restroom at the airport.

I have to go in with her.

And I am certain that my
father will be on the phone

with the cops looking
for me and my sister.

He'll be looking for me.

I'm pretty sure he'll
be glad you're gone.

- I would be.
- Shut up, Sarah.

- You shut up, Cacie!
- Children, enough!

The point is you are here now,

and it's your responsibility
to take care of the grounds

and perhaps make some toys.

Dude, I'm not making any toys!

Yeah, I don't
even know how to.

That's why you're
at my boot camp!

Hello, brats,
welcome to boot camp.

While you're here,
you listen to us. We own you.

First, we're going
to take a quick tour.

And then you'll get
started with the basics,

shoveling reindeer poop.

Ew.

Welcome to boot camp.

Here's your boots.

Yup, this sucks.

Wait a sec,
I was just at the mall.

You, this is your fault!

My fault, she's the pushy one.

Oh, me, I'm the only one
that deserves to see Santa.

- Really?
- Y'all are stupid.

Okay, face the front. Line up.

Follow us.
And march.

Hup, two, three, four.

Get your hands off me.

Where the heck are we?

We have our work
cut out for us.

Look, I don't know
who you guys are,

but you have some
serious explaining to do,

right now, or else.

- Or else what?
- Or else we'll report you.

Then you're late. You've been
reported and transported.

[laughing]

I demand to know
what's going on here.

Unfortunately, brats, you have
no position to demand anything.

So come along.

[computers beeping]

[alarm ringing]

[boy elf]
A kid just got away!

Ugh, humans.

That's why we don't let
humans do an elf's job.

I feel so bad for Santa.

I wish we could
all just get along.

- [boy elf] Yeah. What do we do?
- [boy elf 2] Let's call Skippy!

[girl elf] Yeah, Skippy,
loves this sort of stuff.

Yeah!

[Drake] How the heck
am I gonna get out of here

if I don't know where I am?

How did that crazy old
man get us here anyway?

Who knew Santa was a psycho?

Take that back!
Santa is not a psycho!

[laughs] What are you
gonna do, little man?

- Beat me up?
- You need to take that back.

Dude, the old dude brought
us to some slave labor camp.

- How isn't he a psycho?
- This is boot camp.

Boot camps are voluntary.
This is a slave labor camp.

I didn't sign up for this.

[yelling]

What the?
You little twerp!

[chuckling]

Santa's not the only one
with magic powers around here.

That's impossible.

Quit your moaning,
you're coming with me.

I guess Santa isn't the
only one who's a psycho.

[speech muffled]

Don't make me tie
up your legs, too.

Oh, my gosh!

[chuckling]

One got away.

[chuckling]

Kids, meet Skippy. He may
look small, but he's got skills.

He was in the Elf Special
Forces on their strike team.

Don't mess with Skippy.

Oh, that's what I
forgot to tell you guys.

Don't try anything.
We see everything.

How do you think we see who's
naughty and nice in this world?

If we can do that, don't you think
we'll see if you try to escape?

Who knew old St. Nick ran his
operations like Big Brother?

- What was that, kid?
- What, nothing! I...

He said Santa runs his
business like Big Brother.

Personally, I can't imagine how someone
could accomplish such a great feat,

year after year, without
some type of surveillance.

- Can it, Cedric.
- Yeah, Cedric, can it.

So, listen.

I've got a mani-pedi
appointment at 4:30.

So if we could move this boot camp
thing along, that'd be fantastic.

Oh, my God, Sarah,
you are so self-absorbed.

You know, the entire world doesn't
revolve around you and your mani-pedis.

Mr. Tiny I would like to go home
and I would like to go home now.

So can we just get this going?

You know, help save Christmas
and then we can go home.

Elves are happy, we're happy.

Alright, so your first chore
is to shovel reindeer poop.

Now everybody grab a shovel.

- Uh, let's not and say we did.
- Go!

Not so fast.

Now, grab a shovel.

[laughing]

- What's so funny?
- Oh, this is a joke, right?

Oh, I know,
we're being punked.

No.

Oh, this must be a
new reality show then.

No, why is this
so hard to understand?

Well, look, I didn't exactly come
dressed to clean reindeer stalls.

I wanted to look nice
for my photo with Santa.

Yeah, I didn't have time
to change into my black shirt

before I was kidnapped.

We didn't kidnap you.

This is boot camp,
now get to work.

Work.

Hey, does anyone know
how to work this thing?

Let them try it.

I don't like this.

They'll figure it out.
Eventually.

You guys wanna
go get some chow?

Yeah.

It's so dirty!

No, no.

- Do you think they'll run?
- Oh, most definitely.

That's the part about
their spirits I do like.

They all seem to have
that fight in them.

- Hey, don't make me!
- Make you what, Cacie?

This is your fault,
you had to see Santa.

How does reindeer poop have
anything to do with making toys?

- I just don't get it.
- This is insane.

More importantly,
how do we get out of here?

I say we break
out of this place.

- I'm in.
- Me too.

Yeah, and I'm still ticked
about missing my appointment.

I am not going to
be left alone in here.

I'm in too.

Well, I don't think
this is a good idea.

I think we'll get caught and then
who knows what they'll do to us.

I don't care if you come
with us, but don't rat us out.

I have an idea.

Alright, what's
your name, elf boy?

- Johnny.
- Okay, elf boy Johnny, I'm Drake.

And I'm in charge here.
So shut up and listen.

Both of you shut up.
And especially you, mall elf.

I saw you with that
whoopie cushion.

I don't know what
you're talking about.

What whoopie cushion?

You people are all
a bunch of losers.

I don't know how I got
stuck with this group.

You shut up.

I never should have gone
to that dumb Santa thing.

Yeah, I wish it
was New Year's.

- Can everybody just be quiet?
- No, you be quiet!

Who put him in charge anyways?

What, would you rather be
led by a guy in an elf suit?

- I don't know, maybe.
- Uh, I would rather him.

Exactly, I'm leaving.

I just wanna go home!

Ridiculous.

Okay, let's go.

Guys.

Alright, here's the plan.

Why are we whispering?

No one's around here.
No one can hear us.

- Hello!
- Shut up!

Okay, so we're gonna run
to the edge of the field

and then look for help.

Oh, that's a very
impressive plan.

Thanks, I know it is.

Guys, shut up and please go.

I don't like this behavior.

I think we should follow
the elves' orders.

Shut up!

Alright, go!

Go, go, go!

Oh, my gosh,
we're in the Twilight Zone!

[screaming]

Stop screaming!
It's so annoying.

Finally,
we agree on something.

Well, clearly you
don't know what to do

or where to go fearless leader.

Oh, oh and you do elf boy?

Yeah, yeah I do!

When we were cutting
across the field,

- I saw the gates opening up.
- Uh, who'd you see?

No one, but the gates
keep opening and closing.

Obviously they lead somewhere.

Hopefully,
somewhere far from here.

Come on.

What are they up to?

Wait, wait, wait!

I don't think rushing
in is a good idea.

No kidding, it didn't seem
to work too well last time.

But maybe, if we hurry, I can
still make my appointment.

Enough with the
appointment already!

When the elves find out about this,
we're gonna be in big trouble.

We shouldn't be doing this.
Guys come on, let's go back.

Dude, can it!

On three.

One, two ...three!

[whistle blowing]

We're back.

I'm pretty sure whatever this place is,
it's violating some serious workforce laws.

This has got to be some
weird nightmare or something.

You guys just
don't seem to get it.

So let me try to explain
this to ya one more time.

You were brought here
to help with the grounds,

to free up more
elves to make toys.

You may be assisting them with toy
making in the future, if needed.

We can see what
you're doing, ya know!

I told them not to do it,
but they wouldn't listen to me.

I said it was a really bad idea,

but they were being
so disrespectful.

It's because of bratty children like
you that my elves are on strike!

You were brought here
to fix what you've done.

Sir, again, regarding me,
I implore you to reconsider.

This is a big misunderstanding.

- I'm a good child, not a brat.
- Can it, Cedric!

Look, you're all
here on purpose.

There are no accidents.

You are here to clean up
the mess that you created.

Get to work.

And we always
have our eyes on you.

Back to the stalls, kids.
There's more poop to scoop.

Diva, ma'am.

Um... I was thinking that

in order to promote
the good will

of elves worldwide,
and reach more people,

we should include Jewish
kids in the holiday.

You know, figure out how
to combine Hanukkah more

into Christmas and
Mr. Claus more out of it.

You're telling me
you're changing your name

from Murray to Hanukkah Elf?

If that's what you
think would be best.

Sure, I'll do it!

I'll be the face of Christmas

for all the Jewish kids
around the globe.

I'm not sure how
that's going to work.

Christmas is a
Christian holiday.

That's a great idea Murray,
I mean Hanukkah Elf.

Why should Christians
have all the fun?

Logistically, ma'am,
that would be a bit difficult.

Junior, we're looking to expand
our elf brand, so why not?

Well, we do need a broader
plan to present to Santa

when we meet him in mediation.
This could help.

I think it's a great idea.

But if we're going
to make more toys,

we're gonna need more elves.

That's a great idea!

Get marketing to run the
numbers and get back to me ASAP!

I'm on it, Diva.

Okay guys, how are we
gonna get out of here?

Dude, there's a camera.

Another one over there, too.

No wonder they know
what we're doing.

Yeah, I saw some
on the grounds too.

Maybe if we broke them?

We'd have a better
chance of runnin'.

I say we try after dark.

- I think we're all in.
- Guys, this better work.

I'm not going along
with this, this time!

You guys are going
to get caught, again,

and then who knows
what they'll do to us?

I don't want any
part of this okay?

Dude, if you're not
with us, shut your mouth!

[scoffs]

Alright, it's time
for a dinner break.

Make sure you wash your hands.

Oh, how wonderful. Mr. Tiny,
you are such a great man... elf.

Well, what my fellow associates

don't seem to
understand is that...

Can it, Cedric!

Alright, line up.
We're going to the cafeteria.

So if we can
keep his mouth shut...

...we would be able to escape.

I don't trust Cedric
to keep his mouth shut.

Would you two
like some cookies?

Oh, sure, I guess if
there's one good thing

about being here is that we
don't have parents going,

"Eat your spinach,
eat your broccoli."

Cookies!

Actually, dear,
our cookies are very nutritious

and taste delicious.

They have as many vitamins as
a whole serving of vegetables.

Well, I was supposed to have my mother's
lasagna tonight, and I really want it.

Well, dear, this one
is flavored like lasagna.

We also have a whole
turkey dinner cookie.

I'll take one of each!

Oh, my gosh!

Guys, this is the best lasagna,

lasagna cookie
that I've ever had!

And what about
that turkey dinner?

My mom only wishes
she could cook like this!

Let me try one.

Oh, ew, ew, ew.

That's disgusting.

I wish you would have asked

before you just grabbed
it off the plate.

That's a liver and onion cookie.

Maybe next time, you might
want to use your manners.

"Maybe next time, you might
want to use your manners."

This place is lame.

I cannot get
out of here fast enough.

Aw, are you still whining
about your mani-pedi?

How about you help
us plan something?

Look, I just wanna
get out of here.

So, whatever plan you two
come up with, count me in.

We have a plan that
does not involve Cedric.

We can't trust him.

[Cacie] Well, is it
gonna get us out of here?

Well, yeah.

So, did anyone see the
sleigh in the reindeer barn?

We saw it when we were
scooping reindeer poop.

We lifted up the dusty
tarp and there it was.

It was really cool,
it had these rockets attached...

- Rockets?
- Rockets.

Rockets? I thought his sleigh
was powered by reindeer.

Oh, hey Cedric how's it goin'?

Rockets? No we just have
a very vivid imagination.

So but these cookies yeah,
they are great aren't they?

Wait, no,
you just yacked on one.

I obviously just
chose a bad one.

- Oh, yeah.
- Okay, children.

Time to go to the dorms.

As a reminder, the elves
sleep right next to your door,

so no silly business.

Right next to our door.

[elf] Go down the path,
first door on the right.

[Zoe] I know this may
sound a little bit corny,

but this place does have
a little bit of magic to it.

Gee, ya think?

We keep on running
through a field,

and then, poof,
we're back inside a building.

The first time
I tried to escape,

there was a little elf
who threw magic dust on me

and all of a sudden,
I was wrapped up in rope,

and he didn't even touch me!

You know, we could get
our hands on the magic dust.

The elves are sleeping
right next to us.

Maybe we could go in there
and see where they hide it?

Magic dust.

Come on, guys, like, really?

You know what? Whatever,
just get me out of here.

I for one am a firm believer
in their magical abilities.

However, I do not condone
stealing any of their belongings.

[chuckling]

Whatever, man.

This is where
you'll be sleeping.

I have avoided sleeping
on the floor my entire life.

And now it's come down to this.

Come on Sarah, get a grip.

You guys should be happy we
even have somewhere to sleep

after your lame
excuse of an escape.

Shut up.

This is awful, just awful.

Do you guys think they
have any more cookies left?

Elf boy. Do you think
you can get in that room?

Of course I can.
We need that stuff.

I'll take a few of
them out if I have to.

Wait, are you serious?

Because I could get in and out
of that room without a peep.

I do it all the time
with my sister's stuff.

You know in her diary, she says
she has a crush on Max Falcon.

Really, I would have thought
someone more like Russell...

Shh. Girls, please keep it
down and stay focused.

- Sorry.
- Sorry.

Alright, so you can
get into that room?

Oh yeah, absolutely.

I mean, really,
I'm the best at it.

Alright, sounds like a plan.

We should wait 'til
they're asleep though.

Yeah.

[beeping]

Our production was down today.
But, that is to be expected

since over half of the
elves went on strike.

Well, we got our new
recruits up here workin'.

How are the new recruits
doing with their new roles?

Well, to be honest with you,
they're having a rough time.

To be fair, it's tough moving from
groundskeeping and stall-cleaning

to working with highly sensitive
computer devices.

I'm well aware. Dare I ask
how the kids are doing?

They seem to have
done their jobs well,

after their attempt
to escape, that is.

Mmm. Do we need to worry
about that tonight?

No, sir, the magic
gates are locked.

If they try to get out,
it's gonna be a long night.

[all laughing]

Do we have any hope for better
production numbers tomorrow?

Well, a little, but...

But at the rate we're going,
we are way behind schedule.

Can't you reason with
Diva and the strikers?

Well, I'll give her a call
tomorrow and see what can happen.

I'm gonna get some rest.
Keep an eye on those kids.

We need their help if Christmas
is ever going to happen.

Good night, Santa.

[all] Good night.

Alright, you ready?

Get off me.

- Wow, she's good.
- Yeah, I know.

Look what I got. The magic dust
and the diagram of the sleigh.

- We're set.
- Yes, we're goin' home, man.

Junior, where's
the data that we need

for the number of
elves that we need

if we are expanding Christmas
for the other religions?

Oh, let me get
Marketing in here.

Diva, in order to keep
this a relaxing environment,

we need to manage your stress.
So, deep breaths.

[breathing deeply]

Oh, I'm sorry this is
taking so long, ma'am.

We certainly weren't expecting
this kind of request.

I assure you, however,
that our data is accurate.

My team is working
overtime on this.

So, how much is it gonna cost,
Mr. Fancy Pants?

Ma'am, according to our data,

it will cost Santa Claus
twice as much.

[chuckling]

Fantastic, we can
advertise in new markets

and show everyone who
really runs Christmas.

All on Santa's dime!

Who made up that rule?

Murray, now known
as the Hanukkah elf.

Ah, Murray, I love that guy.

[breathes deeply]

My life keeps getting
better and better.

I can't seem to get the cameras
in the kids' dorm room to focus.

It's really blurry.

Do you think we should
call the electrician?

Do you mean, Junior? He went
to the other side, remember?

Knowing him, he has this
whole place hot-wired.

So they can see and hear
everything we're doing.

Isn't that against policy?

I know there
are some big fines

for violations on
that type of stuff.

Do other holiday icons have
as many rules as we do?

I know the Easter Bunny
has some major restrictions.

We think we have it bad?

The home entry rules he has
to follow are ridiculous.

But, if you think about it,

imagine what would happen
if the kids woke up

to a giant rabbit
hopping through their house.

[laughing]

That would freak me out!

[ringing]

Uh-oh.
Santa, Diva's calling!

What's the matter,
Big Daddy Claus?

- Not so jolly today?
- What do you want, Diva?

Oh, I'm just checking in
to see how your scab elves

and your recruits
are getting along.

You really think those six
nit wits can save Christmas?

Well, they're doing their part

so that the elves who
haven't lost their minds

and joined your side
can actually make the toys!

You've kidnapped six kids,
St. Nick.

You've gone over the top.

I'm pretty sure that's
breaking some official

Council of International
Holiday Personality rules.

And not so saintly either.

I've just about
had it with you, Diva.

I'm at the end of my rope.
What's the reason for this call?

I wanna add to the
list of demands, Santa.

Not only do we want
to be equal as you

in the eyes of the public
and better working conditions,

but we also want to deliver toys
to the Jewish and the Hindu kids.

Which will require a substantial
increase in our work force.

You do realize that your
demands are unreasonable, right?

How can I possibly...

I don't need excuses,
your royal Clausness,

I need results!

[grunting]

Here you go, dear.

How can I be responsible for how
the public views the elves?

Or, control bratty kids!

Or, get other religious faiths
interested in participating

in a Christian holiday?
This is ridiculous!

- Oh! Have some milk.
- Thanks, hon.

I need something stronger.

Why don't you bring me some...
[clears throat]

...chocolate milk.

Good choice, Santa.

[snoring]

Yes, we made it!

We made it out the building.

We're a long way out of here.

This had better work,
because I'm really tired.

And if I don't get my sleep,
you do not want to be around me.

[Cacie] We don't want
to be around you anyways.

Guys, shh!

I think I found
the way out, come on!

Let's go.

Come on.

Are you sure it's a
good idea to go in there?

I don't know guys, I don't
like the look of this place.

What, you got
any other options?

Hey, hey, guys, guys!

There's a light on the other
side. Come on, follow me!

Oh, oh, no, I'm all by myself,
I'm not going back in there.

- I'm going back to...
- Hey, guys this way, let's go!

Johnny, you're an idiot. This is
exactly where we started.

We just went in a big circle.

Guys, I knew we
should have went right.

This time, follow me and hurry!

Ugh!

Again, some leaders you are.

Come on, Zoe, let's show
the boys how it's done.

Oh, no!

Well, clearly your girl power
is not superior to us men.

Guys, this place
has to be magical.

We went in three different ways.

I know, but at least we didn't
end up in another building.

So, maybe it was the magic!

"So, maybe it was the magic."

- That's so stupid Cacie.
- Shut up, Sarah.

If you haven't noticed, there's some
really weird things going on here.

Guys, I'm going it alone.

If I don't come back,
it means I made it.

Well, we finally
got rid of him!

Well, I didn't make it,
but guess who I found?

- Hey, guys.
- Oh, no, it's Mr. Blabbermouth.

Yeah, but he's out here with us.
We left you behind on purpose.

Yeah, man, you're just as
guilty as all of us now.

You can't rat us out.

Can't we just try
for Santa's sleigh?

I mean, I have the diagram

and it, it looks like
the reindeer are just props!

They're stealing
Santa's sleigh.

How are they
gonna pull that off?

They're not, they're
gonna get caught like that!

I mean it's worth a shot.

How hard could
flying a sleigh be?

Driving it is
different than flying it.

Flying seems kinda hard.

Well, the diagram
says that the wheel,

you like, pull it
up and it goes up

then you push it down
and it goes down,

so it can't be that hard, right?

Yeah, yeah,
it seems easy enough.

All right,
let's get to the barn.

Cedric, you ready?

I really don't think
this is a good idea.

Flying the sleigh
does not seem safe!

[Sarah] There it is!

You've got to be kidding me.

Oh, no, oh, no this
doesn't seem safe.

This would not pass
the FAA guidelines!

Shut up!

There's a barn door open!

It's probably just the wind.

- Check the kids' dorm room.
- They're in the barn!

Oh, Gobstoppers,
they're in Santa's sleigh.

- [alarm blaring]
- Code stray sleigh!

- I repeat, code stray sleigh!
- Claus, we got a runner.

Claus, we got a runner!

- This looks rickety!
- Dude, shut up.

I think I can hotwire it.

I did it to my
dad's car one time.

I'm not surprised.

Oh, no, look, it's right here!

[engine starts]

Whoo-hoo, this is
gonna be crazy fun!

What, no, we're all gonna die!

I don't wanna
be on this thing!

Oh, just shut up and strap in.

My hair does not do
well in the open air.

Guys, how are we gonna
get this thing outta here?

I know!

Would you stop crying?

- Oh, no, oh no!
- Go!

[all yelling]

[yelling]

What in the name of Jiminy
Christmas is going on here?

What do you think you're doing?
You could be killed!

The sleigh cannot fly,
but on Christmas Eve.

That's the rules!

I have had enough of you brats.

You're the reason that I'm in
this mess in the first place.

Little snot-nosed kids like you,

always picking on my
hard working elves.

No wonder they don't
wanna go to work anymore.

Don't you get it?

Christmas cannot happen
unless you get back to work.

I gave you a pretty
easy task yesterday,

but today,
we'll step it up a notch

since you don't
want to cooperate.

Tiny? Get them set up
to watch the videos!

- Yes, sir.
- Get them started on it right away,

since it appears
that they're not too tired.

Come on, you hooligans. Get out!
Get in a line and march!

We're going to watch the videos.

A little bit faster!

Sit right there and don't move.

Come on in.

I'll go to the front, excuse me.

Stupid humans,
always getting into trouble.

This is where we watch
clips of kids' lives

to determine if they're
naughty or nice.

- Dude, this could be fun.
- Alright, sure, dude.

You think this will be fun,
but pay attention.

Because by the 100th kid,

they'll all start
to run together.

All you have to do is press
the red button for naughty,

and the green button for nice.

Got it?

- Yeah, got it,
- Yeah, mm-hmm.

And I'll be
staying with y'all.

So no sleeping on the job.

I'm not stickin'
around here, have fun.

Anna's spying on me again.
I have to go.

I wouldn't want to spy on your
stupid phone conversations anyway.

"He's totally hot, like,
oh, my God, whatever."

[Sadie]
Shut up!

You don't wanna hear what I heard
about your boyfriend today?

Dude, you didn't hear
anything about Jason.

You don't even know him.

Okay, I'll just go.

Wait, tell me.

Alright.

He was kissing Julie Sampson

by the courtyard
outside of the school.

What?
Oh, my God, he is such a jerk!

I knew it.

Oh, my God,
who does he think he is?

[beeping]

I didn't ask you to
do my project for me.

No, you blackmailed me!

[chuckles] Yeah, a guy's
gotta do what a guy's gotta do.

- What are you looking at?
- Oh, I was just...

Turn around
and do your homework.

I'm so nervous I could puke.

You're going to
be fine, I promise.

No, you won't,
you suck at everything.

Whoa.

- Thanks.
- No problem, are you new?

Uh, yeah today's my first day.

Goodie-two-shoes.

- Can I look off your test?
- What?

Itching powder?

I found this underneath my bed.

All I wanted
was you out of my room!

Oh, nice!

- Shut up or I'll tell mom!
- Tell her what?

Hey, punk,
where's my cigarettes?

What a horrible person.

So why are you
inviting her to your party?

I don't know,
maybe I should uninvite her.

[laughing]

You do realize
you're not going to last

one day in this school, right?

[bell ringing]

So how do you think
you did on the math test?

I don't think
I did very well.

Really, I though
it was really easy.

Hey, guys,
look who we got here,

a couple of dorks.

Just leave us alone, Drake.

Oh, or what,
you gonna tell mommy?

Guys, I'm feelin'
a little hungry.

- Really? Yeah, me too.
- You got any change?

I only have enough for myself.

Nah, nah, that's perfect.
Give it up.

You think you're so cool,
Drake, but you're not.

Give me the change.

Some day, Drake,
you're gonna be sorry.

[guys chuckling]

Guys, I'm gonna be sorry!

[boy] You better
watch your back, man!

I know, red button.

Hmm...

- Hey, Zo, how are you?
- Hello, mother, I'm good.

Good.

[groans]

Eric, come out!
You have some explaining to do!

What explaining
do I have to do?

Did you eat the
pie in the fridge?

- No.
- Yes you did, I saw you!

- Mom, she's lying!
- Then what is this?

- I mean, whipped cream, but...
- Busted, you know it.

- Grounded, get in your room.
- Mom.

What? It was a mistake,
I did not see the note, okay?

You blamed your brother. Speaking
from experience, that's not fair.

Yeah, I know.

I'll be right back.
You guys keep it down, okay?

Hey, loser.

That's not very nice, Johnny.

I call it like I see it.

So do you have any friends?

Yeah, I have
friends of course I do.

I'll tell you what. I'll be your
friend if you just let me get a look.

Let you see the test, no.

[spits]

[chuckles]
Direct hit.

[sighs]

[grunts]

[all laughing]

What is going on in here?

He was looking at
my paper and he fell.

Johnny, that was Eugene.
What did he do to you?

- Nothing!
- You were a jerk!

Yeah, yeah, I was.

[humming]

- Hello.
- Oh, hi.

It looks like you've
mistakenly assumed

that Michael, here,
is interested in

anything you have to say.

I don't think
it's a mistake, Sarah.

Whoa, girls, girls.
Please don't be silly we can...

Michael, can I talk to
Jennifer alone for a minute?

- Alone?
- Yeah.

- Are you sure?
- Just, just give us a minute.

Okay, okay.

- See ya.
- Bye.

Perhaps you don't understand

that when a man is
dating another woman,

you leave him alone.

Even a ditz like you
should understand that.

Oh, yeah, what are
you gonna do about it?

I'll tell you what
I'm gonna do about it.

That should work.

Not my finest moment.

You're a cyber bully?

Yeah, I guess I am.

Sorry.

I am better than every
other girl in this room.

I don't understand why
I didn't get the lead.

Because Brianna has been very
strong lately and she deserves it.

Brianna doesn't
deserve anything!

Enough, now go and warm up

before I take you out
of the show completely.

Ladies!
Places, please, let us rehearse.

Come, come!

[chuckling]

Places and,
five, six, seven, eight.

One, two, three, four,

five and six and seven, eight.

And one, two, three, four,
five and six and seven.

[screaming]

Oh, my gosh,
I stepped on a tack!

Why is there a
tack in the studio?

Who put it here?

Cacie, you put it here,
didn't you!

Why would I put a
tack in the studio?

Come, Brianna darling,
let's go and get you cleaned up.

Here we go.

Why would you
do that to me, Cacie?

Wow, I thought mine was bad.

Yeah, that's
really embarrassing.

[girl] Can I trust you?

Of course you can,
we're friends.

Well, you know how I always
make straight A's, right?

Yes, that's why we're friends
because we both excel in school.

I've been cheating
in Chemistry this year.

- Cheating?
- I feel horrible.

But I just don't understand it.

But how could you cheat?

I mean, even if I didn't
know the material,

I wouldn't cheat.

That's so disgusting.

I shouldn't have told you.

What, wait hold on.

I can't believe you!

- What happened?
- She's probably going home to study.

Study, wow, on a Saturday.

Tandy's mom told me she
never gets less than A's.

It's amazing, what a smart girl.

Oh, she's not that smart.

She's been cheating
on her Chemistry tests.

I bet her mother would
love to hear about this.

Dude, you ratted out
your best friend. Not cool.

She always acts like
she's better than me.

Clearly she isn't.

Cedric, she confided in you.

You posted a pic of someone
to embarrass them, that's bad.

Telling the truth isn't bad.

Well, what about gossiping
to make yourself sound better?

It wasn't gossiping!

Alright, that's
enough for tonight.

You guys go get rested up.

We have more work to
do in a few hours.

I cannot believe what
an awful sister I was.

I was so insecure.

I can't believe
I acted like that.

Yeah, I wouldn't put
either of you on the nice list.

Whatever, Johnny. You were
being just as bad bullying.

Yeah, I know.

No wonder our parents
aren't looking for us.

Dude, I don't even
blame my parents.

I'm just a pain in
the butt to them.

You know, those videos made
me look like a complete jerk.

You know, man,
I don't think so.

I mean, those videos were
us at our worst moment.

I just think we couldn't
have almost escaped

if it wasn't for you.

Yeah, almost.
But we didn't.

I can't believe
I'm gonna say this,

but I think you did a great job.

You had better ideas
than any of us.

And you had enough guts
to try and fly the sleigh.

Out of my way you scoundrels!

[Cedric] This is completely unfair.
I don't belong here.

And these stupid kids with me.

Who do they think they are?

Trying to keep me out of
their secret escape plans.

I'll show them an escape plan.

[groans]

Alright! Today's gotta be
a better day, huh?

I can't take much more of this.

All of the elves are
ready to start, sir.

They're just waking up now.

Hello, Claus Almighty.
Top of the mornin' to ya.

Ah, Diva, you were on
my list to call today.

You've been thinking about me?

- Aw, isn't that sweet.
- [grunts]

My marketing group has estimated
about 10,000 additional elves

to help with the toy production

for the Jewish
and the Hindu kids.

Diva, let's be rational here.

How can I get non-Christian kids

to buy into a Christian
holiday tradition?

I'll tell you what,
I'm feeling generous today.

I'll cut you a break.

You won't have to worry
about that until next year,

but this will be
in our agreement.

Your demands are ludicrous,
all of them.

You want me to change your public
image, get naughty kids to behave

and convince other religions to buy
into the idea of me and Christmas.

I'm Santa, not God!

So we're clear, I want you
to get the other religions

to buy into the Elf Christmas.

Not the Santa Christmas.

- Ludicrous!
- It is!

Figure it out fuzz-face.

There's no Christmas
without us.

Your scab elves
can't get the job done.

You're running out of time.

Who does she think she is?

[groans] She's right,
we're running out of time.

But there's no way
that I can get kids

to behave or their parents
to respect the elves.

This is just not possible.

Santa, you can't give up.

Christmas has to happen.

There's gotta be a way.

Well, let's see how it
goes today with production.

I'll make sure that all the elves
know it's crunch-time, sir.

I'll get all
the elves started.

I love you guys.

Wake up, wake up.

Hey, hey, hey, stop squirming.

If you don't stop squirming,
I'm gonna use this.

You don't know how to use it.

Exactly, that makes it
all the more dangerous.

Now, you're gonna start talking.

About what?

Where are we and how
do we get out of here?

I don't know, I'm just an elf.
I make toys!

You have to know!

You have to know.

You come here to make toys
and then after Christmas

you go home to your, to your little elf
village or wherever you people live.

- Who you callin' people?
- Where are we?

- Cedric, what are you doing?
- I'm trying to get us home!

But unlike you guys,
I'm actually going to succeed.

Now, come on!

Where are we and how
do we get out of here?

It depends on
where you wanna go.

Home, I want to go home!

- Dude, chill.
- If someone else tells me to chill,

I'm gonna chill on you!

Now, this little elf is gonna
tell us how to get home.

Come on!

Move.

Santa, I know you can hear me.

You can see me when I'm sleepin' so
this shouldn't be too hard for you.

We are tired of being here.

We are tired of
being your slaves!

And I got your little
demon elf here, too.

Move.

Move!

I know you can hear me, Santa!

Now, son, you don't really
want to do that.

Elves don't do
well in your world.

They have to be
specially trained.

Cedric, are you sure
this is a good idea?

It's too late for that!

Can it, Drake!

Send us home,
or the elf comes with us.

You know what?

This isn't worth it,
none of this is!

Officially,
Christmas is canceled!

[gasping]

Half my staff is gone.

My loyal elves are
workin' their tails off.

We constantly have to
monitor these bozos

and we're still not
gettin' the job done.

I'm tired. I've had it.
I quit!

Cancel Christmas?
What, how can this be?

But, Santa,
what will we do for work?

It's always been my dream
to make toys for you.

I've let my family down.

My family will be so
disappointed about this news.

- Mine too!
- I'll probably be disowned!

They'll all be
disappointed in us.

Think about all the kids!

They can't cancel Christmas.

I've done everything
that I can do.

I'm going on vacation.

Maybe, Waikiki.

Mrs. Claus has
always wanted to go,

it's about time
she got a nice present.

Now, you kids, you take
a little bit of that dust,

toss it in the air,
over year heads

and think about the
mall where you were

and you'll be back
there right away.

To my loyal, wonderful elves,

Make sure you ring
Diva and tell her

there is no more
Christmas this year.

So, her position and those of the
striking elves no longer needed.

Uh... and you can go home
to your families

and enjoy your extra time off.

Maybe we can get this all
straightened out before next year.

Wow, I feel better already!

Ho, ho, ho!

I just have one more thing
to say to all of you.

Aloha!

Now you see what you've done?

What did I do?

There has to be
a way to fix this.

Guys, let's just go home.

This isn't our problem.

How is this not our problem?

We were the ones that were
supposed to save Christmas.

Guys, why don't we talk
to the striking elves?

If there's any time
to leave, it's now.

I need to talk to Santa.

I can't be the reason why
Christmas is canceled.

This can't be on me.

Come on, guys! If anyone
can save Christmas, it's us.

Who's in?

- I'm in.
- Okay.

I'm in.

All right,
let's go talk to the elves.

[Johnny] Tiny, Tiny, Tiny!
We need your help!

Why should I help you?

You're the reason
all this happened.

Well, we came here to fix it.

Half the elves are
striking because of you.

And the other half
are on their way home

because Christmas is canceled.
Because of you!

Give me one good reason.

I have an idea.

Well, actually
it's, it's Zoe's idea.

We were just wondering if we could
talk to the striking elves.

Yeah, we thought that we
could convince these to stay

and maybe convince the
other ones to come back.

I'll talk to Santa,
I'll make it right.

Well, it might work.

No, it had better work.

It will, it will.

Talk to the elves.

Hi, I'm Drake, and...

...my friends and I,
we'd like to say

we're really sorry
for what we've done.

- I'll say!
- Santa was jolly.

Did you see his
face when he quit?

Those weren't rosy cheeks.

Yeah, I know, and we
feel really bad about that.

You should!

Because of you,
none of the children

are going to have a
Christmas this year.

- Where are we supposed to go?
- What are we supposed to do?

I know, we're trying
to make it right.

Make it right?
It's a little too late for that.

Please, listen,
we've got an idea.

I want to talk to
the striking elves.

I think I can convince
them to come back.

All I'm asking is for you guys
to keep doing what you're doing.

If we keep making presents,
Santa will come back.

He never promised that!

He's Santa, of course
he'll come back.

Yeah.

Alright, let's go back to work.

- Are you ready?
- I guess so.

Good luck.

Thanks.

What is it?

Oh, who do we have here?

Zoe, is it?

Wait a minute,
how do you know my name?

Oh, you haven't figured out
we've been watching you, too?

Well, then I guess you
know that Santa's quit.

Santa quit?

Junior, why did I
not know Santa quit?

He just quit.

He got all upset that
we tried to kidnap...

...you know what, actually no,

Cedric tried to kidnap
one of his elves.

And I've never seen
anything like it.

What about Christmas?

He said he's canceling
Christmas and going to Waikiki.

But he can't cancel Christmas.

Christmas has to happen!

Well, no he didn't
seem to think so.

I mean, he was really upset.

I just heard the news.

You realize this means
that our union has nothing,

no leg to stand on?

Do you realize you're
telling the enemy that?

What? We're not your enemy.

In fact, that's exactly
why I'm calling.

You see, we came to ask,

no, actually beg you to come
back and help us make the toys.

You like being an elf, right?

You like making
all of these toys.

You like making sure
all the little boys

and girls all over
the world are happy

because Santa's little helpers
are making toys for them.

Right?

Wait boys and girls
think we make the toys?

Of course! Santa, well,
he's just the delivery system.

Everyone knows that
the elves do all the work.

Really? We thought they gave
credit to Santa.

No, we know that Santa is just
the one who relays the messages.

And we only ask him because
he's the one who keeps the list.

- Wow, that changes everything.
- Wow.

So, will you come back?
Will you help us?

We really need you.

I'll go check with
the other elves.

I'm pretty sure I can get
the other elves to come.

I mean, after all, Christmas
cannot be canceled.

Not on my watch.

[both] Yes.

Hurry back, we're
already behind schedule.

We will, we will.

- Yes.
- Yes!

I'm shocked.
I didn't think you could do it.

Well, I guess, being nice and saying
what you mean goes a long way.

You know what,
I guess it does.

[bell ringing]

I'm back everyone!

So, you came back, did you?

I'm back, Twink.

I don't think you should
have ever left, Diva.

I had to make a
point for us elves.

But the things you were
asking for, Santa can't help.

I appreciate last year's push
to get vision and dental

added to our insurance plan,

but this year's demands
were over the top.

You aren't on the front-lines!

Oh, I've been on
the front-lines, Diva!

I meant with the kids.

You haven't been sneezed,
coughed on, poked, kicked.

You haven't had the disrespect
all the other elves have had.

This is not an easy job, Diva.

All the elves that are
Santa's little helpers

are the best of the best.

They know what they're
signing up for,

and that comes
with the territory.

I wanted to make a difference.

You do make a difference.

You make a difference when
you convince the elves

to make toys and do their best.

You make a difference when you
support Santa and get the job done.

You make a huge difference.
You're a leader.

Thanks, Twink.

[train whistle blowing]

[rock version
of "Deck the Halls" plays]

Alright, everyone.
It's time for a break.

I don't know how long
I can keep up this pace.

I know,
it's like double-speed.

How are we going
to get this done?

I don't think we can.

Guys, what if they're right?

Yeah, this is like
light-speed fast.

What if we got
some of our friends?

Yeah, but how will
we get 'em here?

Same way we got you guys here.

How exactly was that?

I'll show you, come on.

Okay, type your friends' names in
and let me know when you're done.

- Alright, I'm done.
- Okay.

I could really go for
something to drink right now.

Where are we?

Drake?

- Dude, what's goin' on?
- Dude, this is so cool.

Hey, you look different.

Yeah, man, you look... nice.

Alright, look.

Santa canceled Christmas,

and right now we're
at Santa's boot camp.

I need you guys to help
me build all the toys

for all the little girls and
little boys all across the world.

[laughing]

Dude, you've seriously
lost it, my man.

Yeah, dude, you've gone crazy.

No, I'm serious.
I need you guys' help.

- And so do the elves.
- Alright, the elves!

- The elves need our help!
- The elves need our help.

Yeah, we got you!

I'm an elf.
And we need your help.

- Yeah, man, okay.
- Let's go, come on.

- Let's go.
- Alright, follow me.

- Alright, yeah sure.
- Let's go.

- Alright, Johnny.
- Who would you like to bring?

I know someone
who needs a friend.

This is what I'm talkin' about.

- Hey, Cedric.
- Hey, Eugene.

Hey, aren't you the
one who tells on us?

Hey, yeah, you are!

I used to be,
things have changed.

We don't have time
for that right now.

We gotta make toys.

Come on, guys.

This is my favorite,
this is where we make the toys.

- I love it!
- Wow.

Well, come on,
I've got more to show you!

Alright, alright.

Good job, guys!
We're finished!

The warehouse is full of toys!

We did it!
Oh, my gosh, it's over.

We made all those toys
for the little boys

and girls all over the world.

It's not over yet.
We have one more thing to do.

We'll come with you. We were
all pretty horrible to him.

Yeah, I need to go, too.

This is about cooperation and
creating for the greater good.

Alright, let's go ring
him up on the video phone.

[holiday rock music]

Tiny, give me your phone.

Code 99, guys!
We're callin' Santa!

Come on, elves.

Well, look who it is.

Hey, hon, it's Diva!

Hold that thing steady now.

Well, Diva, did you get
the kids to come over

to your side now, too?

- No, Santa I...
- Santa, I'm really sorry, I lost it!

I don't want you
to cancel Christmas.

You can't cancel Christmas.

Johnny thought we could do
something, so he called Tiny,

Drake convinced all
the elves to stay,

then Zoe called Diva and she
brought all the elves back.

Cacie and I have been
working really hard

to get all the
toys ready, Santa.

You've been making toys?

We all have.

They're all made, sir.

Now we just need you.

Will you come back and help
us deliver all the toys?

They're all made?
The toys are ready?

Yes, sir! With help from the extra
kids, we're ready for Christmas!

I'm amazed!
I'm dumbfounded!

I'm flabbergasted!
I don't know what to say!

Well, say you'll come back
and deliver all the toys!

[bells ringing]

[all] Whoa!

Well, you've shown so much
heart, how could I refuse?

[cheering]

There's still work to do!

Go, go get the sleigh
and the reindeer ready!

Santa, I'm sorry.

We're all really sorry.

Yeah, after
watching those videos,

we realized we were all bad.

Yeah, especially me.

We were all on
the naughty list.

We're all just so
happy that you came back.

Well, you should be
very proud of yourselves.

Not only did you save Christmas,

but you brought all
my elves together, too!

That's something
I wasn't able to do.

You've shown what was in your
hearts and you worked together

to make it happen.

That's some true
Christmas spirit.

Oh, well, now it's time
for you guys to get home!

Wait, we have a gift for you.

- For me?
- Yep.

To show you that
bad kids can be nice.

Oh, thanks, guys.

[all laughing]

I saw this and well,
I thought of you.

Aw, I made you something, too!

Hey, I got you something.

Man, I got you something, too.

A magic set, that's awesome!

Legwarmers, thank you so much!

Oh? A book!

A mani-pedi gift certificate?

You are the best sister ever.

Oh, my gosh,
it's so much smaller!

- A bow tie!
- [Drake] Yes.

- You know I like spiffy ties!
- I know, I know!

It's to add to your collection.

Kids, I thank you.

No, really.
You've been great.

This Christmas couldn't
have happened without you.

But now, I am bootin'
you out of boot camp.

In other words,
I'm sendin' you back.

Merry Christmas!

Hasta la vista, kiddos!

Ho, ho, ho!
Ho, ho, ho!

- We have a gift for you.
- To show you that bad kids can be nice.

- I'm sorry.
- We're all really sorry.

We were all on
the naughty list.

Look who we've got here,
a couple of dorks.

He was looking at
my paper and he fell!

Yes you did, I saw you!

I am better than
every other girl.

She's not that smart,

she's been cheating
on her chemistry test.

You people are all
a bunch of losers.

I don't know how I got
stuck with this group.

I've got a mani-pedi
appointment at 4:30,

so, if we could move this
boot camp thing along.

I'm a good child, not a brat!

You know I got all the brains

and athletic ability
in this family.

Newsflash, kiddos,
Santa isn't real!

- I'm sorry.
- We're all really sorry.

We were all on
the naughty list.

To show you that
bad kids can be nice.

[muted dialogue]

So, what do you
want for Christmas?

[chuckles]

Ho, ho, ho!

Just try to get along
and be helpful to all.

Being bratty and self-centered
just makes you small.

No matter if you believe
in Santa or his elves,

The important thing is
to believe in yourselves.

[soft rock music]

Hello, there, Mr. Claus.

And what can we get
you for Christmas?

Well, first of all,
what's your name?

My name is Cedric, sir.

- Cedric, good name.
- Yes, thank you.

And what can I get you
for Christmas, Cedric?

I would like the
Harvard Classics.

The Harvard Classics.

- Yes, sir.
- I can do that!

- Thank you.
- In fact, done!

Have a seat right here.

And what can I...
what's your name?

I'm Zoe.

Zoe, great name.

And what can I get you
for Christmas, Zoe?

I'd like a red bow.

- A red bow.
- Yes.

Zoe, done!

You'll see it Christmas morning.

Ho, ho, ho, Merry Christmas.

- What's your name, young lady?
- My name is Sarah.

Sarah, and what can I get
you for Christmas, Sarah?

Can I get my own nail salon?

- Please?
- Here's the thing about that.

What I can do, is I can
bring you all 64 colors

of all the nail polish you want.

I can bring you
nail polish remover,

I can bring you brushes,

I can bring you
hand-cleansing brushes,

hand-cleansing soap,
I can bring you bowls

for soaking your fingernails.

But then you have to
develop it into a business,

but I'll bring you all
the things to start, okay?

Okay, thank you!

Ho, ho, ho, Merry Christmas!

- You too.
- I just don't know sometimes.

Come here, young man!

Have a seat right here
since you're a big boy.

And tell me your name.

- Drake.
- Drake!

Yeah.

- Drake.
- Drake.

Great men have
been named Drake.

Yeah, like me.

What do you want for Christmas?

A bunny.

A bunny?

Yeah, a bunny.

Uh-huh, I can do that!

- But here's the thing about bunnies.
- Okay.

They fall in the
category of girlfriends.

We have to get mom's okay.

- And what's your name?
- Cacie.

Cacie, what can I get
you for Christmas, Cacie?

Well, I would say
number three on my list

is my own reality TV show.

Okay here's the
thing about reality TV.

- I don't know anybody at the networks.
- [sighs]

- So here's what I'm going to have to do.
- Okay.

I'm gonna have to let you leave
your phone number with my elves.

- Will do.
- If we meet anybody with one of the four majors.

- Perfect.
- We'll bring you up.

- Awesome.
- But that's all we can offer you then.

- Okay, well.
- Is that enough?

- Help Santa out, what's a narwhal?
- A narwhal?

It's like, it's kinda
like one of those things

you see in the ocean that like,
swim around and it has like,

a big like, horn
sticking out of its head.

- It's pretty cool.
- Alright, animals?

Animals, animals,
animals, I love animals.

Whew, it's rough this year.
Come on, young man!

You're a little too
tall for this line,

so squat down right there.

- Let's have a little talk.
- What's your name?

- My name's Eric.
- Eric's a good name.

- Eric's a beautiful name.
- It really is.

Subtitles by explosiveskull

[melodic singing]

♪ Look outside ♪

♪ The snow is
falling from the sky ♪

♪ It's in the air ♪

♪ Christmas joy is everywhere ♪

♪ It doesn't matter
what's under the tree ♪

♪ As long as I got my friends ♪

♪ We're together
through thick and thin ♪

♪ Friends til the end ♪

♪ And we're loving
this beautiful ♪

♪ Wonderful, Christmas time ♪

♪ Beautiful, wonderful ♪

♪ Christmas time ♪

♪ And we carol til
we can't sing no more ♪

♪ See the lights
all over the town ♪

♪ Beautiful, wonderful ♪

♪ Christmas ♪

♪ Christmas time ♪

♪ Hot chocolate ♪

♪ With marshmallows
as big as my head ♪

♪ Warm blankets,
sitting fireside ♪

♪ With my best friends ♪

♪ The season's bringing ♪

♪ Good tidings to me ♪

♪ Happy ever after ♪

♪ Starts beside the tree ♪

♪ And we're loving
this beautiful ♪

♪ Wonderful ♪

♪ Christmas time ♪

♪ Beautiful ♪

♪ Wonderful ♪

♪ Christmas time ♪

♪ And we'll carol til
we can't sing no more ♪

♪ See the lights
all over the town ♪

♪ Beautiful ♪

♪ Wonderful ♪

♪ Christmas ♪

♪ Christmas time ♪

♪ It wouldn't be the same ♪

♪ Without you ♪

♪ I hope it never changes ♪

♪ I love you ♪

♪ And when the snow
melts away ♪

♪ My friends are here to say ♪

♪ And we're loving
this beautiful ♪

♪ Wonderful ♪

♪ Christmas time ♪

♪ Beautiful ♪

♪ Wonderful ♪

♪ Christmas time ♪

♪ And we'll carol til
we can't sing no more ♪

♪ See the lights
all over the town ♪

♪ Beautiful ♪

♪ Wonderful ♪

♪ Christmas ♪

♪ Christmas time ♪

[melodic singing]