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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:52,960 --> 00:00:55,936 They all work. All four of them. 2 00:00:55,960 --> 00:00:57,936 OK, good. Good to test them. 3 00:00:57,960 --> 00:01:00,616 How is he? Charles? Is he ready? Erm... 4 00:01:00,640 --> 00:01:02,936 CHRIS TARRANT: 'Emmerdale. Hollyoaks. 5 00:01:02,960 --> 00:01:04,960 'EastEnders. Coronation Street.' 6 00:01:06,960 --> 00:01:07,937 Emmerdale? 7 00:01:07,961 --> 00:01:09,936 'D, Coronation Street.' 8 00:01:09,960 --> 00:01:11,936 'Coronation Street is the right answer, well done.' 9 00:01:11,960 --> 00:01:14,936 Oh, bum. Yeah, no, he's, erm... 10 00:01:14,960 --> 00:01:16,960 He's going to need all the help he can get. 11 00:01:29,960 --> 00:01:31,960 This way, please. 12 00:01:32,960 --> 00:01:35,936 So this is just a little practice, 13 00:01:35,960 --> 00:01:37,936 before we send you off to the canteen 14 00:01:37,960 --> 00:01:39,936 for a bite to eat, OK? 15 00:01:39,960 --> 00:01:41,936 Oh, and to warn, we're starting with 16 00:01:41,960 --> 00:01:44,936 a rollover contestant from yesterday. 17 00:01:44,960 --> 00:01:45,937 So you won't be called upon 18 00:01:45,961 --> 00:01:48,936 until probably quite a way into the show, 19 00:01:48,960 --> 00:01:52,936 just to, like, manage your expectations and everything. 20 00:01:52,960 --> 00:01:53,937 Right! 21 00:01:53,961 --> 00:01:56,936 Just a rehearsal! 22 00:01:56,960 --> 00:01:58,936 Fingers on buttons. 23 00:01:58,960 --> 00:02:01,960 Put these Disney films in order of their release. 24 00:02:03,160 --> 00:02:04,936 A, Little Mermaid. 25 00:02:04,960 --> 00:02:07,976 B, Snow White. 26 00:02:08,000 --> 00:02:09,936 C, Aladdin. 27 00:02:09,960 --> 00:02:10,960 D, Dumbo. 28 00:02:15,960 --> 00:02:19,936 OK, pretty straightforward, B, D, A, C. 29 00:02:19,960 --> 00:02:21,936 Let's look who was fastest. 30 00:02:21,960 --> 00:02:25,936 Janet! On 6.52 seconds, well done. 31 00:02:25,960 --> 00:02:28,936 And, Charles? Yeah. 32 00:02:28,960 --> 00:02:32,296 I'm afraid you were last. Oh, well. It's just nice to be here. 33 00:02:32,320 --> 00:02:34,776 Yeah. Only rehearsal. Yeah, OK. 34 00:02:34,800 --> 00:02:36,296 OK. Over to you, Rebecca. Fantastic. 35 00:02:36,320 --> 00:02:38,960 OK, folks, if you'd like to follow me, please. 36 00:02:43,160 --> 00:02:45,936 He's the husband of the sister of the brother 37 00:02:45,960 --> 00:02:47,936 who were all here, so... 38 00:02:47,960 --> 00:02:48,937 Oh, Jesus Christ. 39 00:02:48,961 --> 00:02:51,136 But seriously, honestly, I wouldn't worry, 40 00:02:51,160 --> 00:02:52,936 he's like Tim-Nice-But-Dim army type, 41 00:02:52,960 --> 00:02:54,936 I doubt he'll even get in the chair. 42 00:02:54,960 --> 00:02:56,936 Terrible in rehearsal and, so, yeah. 43 00:02:56,960 --> 00:02:59,936 Oh, and his wife did request an extra ticket, though. 44 00:02:59,960 --> 00:03:02,136 Audience is full, but I could put them in the overspill? 45 00:03:02,160 --> 00:03:03,960 Fine, wherever. 46 00:03:09,320 --> 00:03:10,936 Don't be so on edge. 47 00:03:10,960 --> 00:03:13,936 I'm gonna be the one in the chair, hopefully. 48 00:03:13,960 --> 00:03:14,937 I wish you were more on edge, 49 00:03:14,961 --> 00:03:17,800 so I'd know you knew how nerve-wracking it is out there. 50 00:03:19,320 --> 00:03:23,776 Well, at least we're getting to spend more time together. 51 00:03:23,800 --> 00:03:25,960 KNOCK ON DOOR 52 00:03:33,960 --> 00:03:35,960 All right. Of course, yeah. 53 00:03:42,960 --> 00:03:46,296 Right, place these words of an Agatha Christie novel 54 00:03:46,320 --> 00:03:47,936 in the right order. 55 00:03:47,960 --> 00:03:49,960 Nile, On, Death, The! 56 00:03:54,000 --> 00:03:56,936 And it was, of course, Death On The Nile. 57 00:03:56,960 --> 00:03:59,936 And who gets to sit in the chair next? 58 00:03:59,960 --> 00:04:02,000 It's... Charles Ingram! 59 00:04:09,160 --> 00:04:10,936 Well done, Charles. 60 00:04:10,960 --> 00:04:11,976 Are you ready to play for a million pounds? 61 00:04:12,000 --> 00:04:14,936 Is the Pope a Catholic? And... hold there! 62 00:04:14,960 --> 00:04:16,936 What did I...? Oh, don't worry, no, no, no. 63 00:04:16,960 --> 00:04:18,936 It's a lot less continuous and magic than it is on tele. 64 00:04:18,960 --> 00:04:21,456 Erm, lots of stops and starts. We're gonna mic your guest up now 65 00:04:21,480 --> 00:04:22,936 and put them in their seat in the audience. 66 00:04:22,960 --> 00:04:24,936 Who have you brought? Uh, my wife. 67 00:04:24,960 --> 00:04:27,936 You've met actually, she played before. Oh, really? 68 00:04:27,960 --> 00:04:29,320 Yes. Oh, yes! 69 00:04:30,960 --> 00:04:32,976 Hello... again. 70 00:04:33,000 --> 00:04:36,160 OK, folks, here we go. And... 71 00:04:38,640 --> 00:04:41,936 OK, let's play Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? 72 00:04:41,960 --> 00:04:45,960 MUSIC AND APPLAUSE 73 00:04:50,960 --> 00:04:53,936 Erm, so, we've seen quite a lot of the Major's family 74 00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:54,937 on this show, Charles... 75 00:04:54,961 --> 00:04:57,936 First off was his wife, Diana, who won 32 grand. 76 00:04:57,960 --> 00:05:01,936 Erm, then brother-in-law Adrian, who won 32 grand, as well. 77 00:05:01,960 --> 00:05:04,616 So it's a matter of family honour, Charles. 78 00:05:04,640 --> 00:05:06,936 No pressure, then! No. No. No, no pressure. 79 00:05:06,960 --> 00:05:09,936 What, are you trying to win a million between you? 80 00:05:09,960 --> 00:05:12,936 LAUGHTER First question of 15. 81 00:05:12,960 --> 00:05:15,456 "What name is given to a person 82 00:05:15,480 --> 00:05:18,936 "who is against increasing the powers of the European Union?" 83 00:05:18,960 --> 00:05:21,936 Eurosceptic. Eurostar. 84 00:05:21,960 --> 00:05:24,936 Eurotrash. Eurovision. 85 00:05:24,960 --> 00:05:27,936 It's, erm... It's Eurosceptic, Chris, yeah. 86 00:05:27,960 --> 00:05:29,960 That's correct. 87 00:05:31,960 --> 00:05:32,960 So for £2,000. 88 00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:36,616 Coronation Street... CHRIS GUFFAWS 89 00:05:36,640 --> 00:05:38,936 I bet you know this one. Oh, no, I've never watched it. 90 00:05:38,960 --> 00:05:40,936 Charles, it's been on for 40 years! 91 00:05:40,960 --> 00:05:43,616 I know, I know, I just... 92 00:05:43,640 --> 00:05:47,936 In Coronation Street, who is Audrey's daughter? 93 00:05:47,960 --> 00:05:52,960 Janice, Gail, Linda, Sally. 94 00:05:54,960 --> 00:05:56,936 Erm, no, it's nothing... 95 00:05:56,960 --> 00:05:59,936 It's nothing, erm... 96 00:05:59,960 --> 00:06:01,640 I'm not getting anything. 97 00:06:08,960 --> 00:06:12,960 Erm, no, it's... 98 00:06:26,960 --> 00:06:28,936 Oh, sorry, sir, 99 00:06:28,960 --> 00:06:30,936 you can't be out here on the phone, I'm afraid. 100 00:06:30,960 --> 00:06:31,937 Yeah, no, sorry, I'm... 101 00:06:31,961 --> 00:06:33,936 I know, I know, sorry, I just need to, erm... 102 00:06:33,960 --> 00:06:35,936 Sir, if you don't mind? Yeah, of course. 103 00:06:35,960 --> 00:06:37,960 Sorry. I was just trying to get in touch... 104 00:06:39,960 --> 00:06:40,937 'OK, no, I... Yeah. 105 00:06:40,961 --> 00:06:43,616 'I'll have to ask the audience, Chris.' 106 00:06:43,640 --> 00:06:45,616 Cut to Chris. 'OK, audience.' 107 00:06:45,640 --> 00:06:46,936 She's right. He's an idiot. 108 00:06:46,960 --> 00:06:47,960 'Fingers on keypads.' 109 00:06:50,160 --> 00:06:52,936 Which still begs the question how he got in the goddamn chair, 110 00:06:52,960 --> 00:06:56,320 but hey-ho, and all the fun of the fair. 111 00:06:58,160 --> 00:07:02,936 OK! And 89% say Gail. 112 00:07:02,960 --> 00:07:06,160 Well. Gosh, yeah, OK... Well, I'll go for B, go for Gail. 113 00:07:08,960 --> 00:07:11,936 Oh, "Where is the River Foyle"? 114 00:07:11,960 --> 00:07:14,320 Erm... Erm... 115 00:07:16,960 --> 00:07:18,936 I think I'm gonna have to, erm... 116 00:07:18,960 --> 00:07:21,936 Oh, dear. Yeah, I'm gonna have to... phone a friend.. 117 00:07:21,960 --> 00:07:23,936 It's all right, that's what the lifelines are there for. 118 00:07:23,960 --> 00:07:25,976 OK, who are we gonna call, Major? 119 00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:29,936 Erm, Gerald. OK, let's call Gerald, please. 120 00:07:29,960 --> 00:07:33,136 Where's Gerald? Erm, South Wales. 121 00:07:33,160 --> 00:07:35,936 PHONE DIALS 122 00:07:35,960 --> 00:07:40,960 PHONE'S DIAL DISTORTS 123 00:07:47,160 --> 00:07:50,136 Mr Pollock, I mean it now, we'll have to confiscate your phone. 124 00:07:50,160 --> 00:07:52,960 Yeah, all right. OK. OK. Yep, sorry. 125 00:07:55,960 --> 00:07:58,936 This way, sir. Keep an eye on him. 126 00:07:58,960 --> 00:08:01,936 Is the right answer. And that takes you to £4,000! 127 00:08:01,960 --> 00:08:03,936 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 128 00:08:03,960 --> 00:08:06,616 KLAXON BLARES Oh, no! 129 00:08:06,640 --> 00:08:09,936 Oh, no! Charles, we're gonna have to drag you back tomorrow, 130 00:08:09,960 --> 00:08:13,456 along with ten new Fastest Finger First contestants. 131 00:08:13,480 --> 00:08:17,960 APPLAUSE 132 00:08:19,960 --> 00:08:21,936 Jacob Nixon from Frome! 133 00:08:21,960 --> 00:08:23,936 Charlotte Edmonds from Edinburgh. 134 00:08:23,960 --> 00:08:26,936 Helen McGrath form Broadstairs. 135 00:08:26,960 --> 00:08:28,936 Sorry, darling. 136 00:08:28,960 --> 00:08:30,936 Bloody Coronation Street. 137 00:08:30,960 --> 00:08:34,936 It's OK, we just need to strategise for tomorrow. 138 00:08:34,960 --> 00:08:36,936 We need to regroup. 139 00:08:36,960 --> 00:08:37,937 Well, I can't be back tomorrow, 140 00:08:37,961 --> 00:08:39,936 I mean, I shouldn't really be here today, so... 141 00:08:39,960 --> 00:08:42,936 KNOCK ON DOOR Knock-knock, sorry to interrupt. 142 00:08:42,960 --> 00:08:44,936 Just giving you your hotel details. 143 00:08:44,960 --> 00:08:46,936 Oh, no, I'm really sorry, but I actually think 144 00:08:46,960 --> 00:08:47,937 we have to get back home tonight. 145 00:08:47,961 --> 00:08:50,936 Back home? Yeah, I've got... I've got work in the morning. 146 00:08:50,960 --> 00:08:53,936 But you're our rollover contestant. You're back in the chair tomorrow. 147 00:08:53,960 --> 00:08:55,936 I know, I know, but we didn't necessarily think 148 00:08:55,960 --> 00:08:58,936 that we would rollover, did we? No. No. 149 00:08:58,960 --> 00:09:00,936 Well, can't you call in sick? It's the British Army. 150 00:09:00,960 --> 00:09:02,936 No, you can't call in sick. I know, but, like... 151 00:09:02,960 --> 00:09:04,960 SHE SCOFFS ..there's no war on, is there? 152 00:09:06,960 --> 00:09:08,936 I mean, I'm joking, but I'm not really. 153 00:09:08,960 --> 00:09:09,937 We have to have you back here. 154 00:09:09,961 --> 00:09:11,616 We will be back. I promise, I promise. 155 00:09:11,640 --> 00:09:14,296 But work takes precedence, I'm so sorry. 156 00:09:14,320 --> 00:09:16,960 Charles, car, five minutes. Yeah. 157 00:09:33,960 --> 00:09:37,936 PHONE RINGS 158 00:09:37,960 --> 00:09:39,936 Hello, Tecwen speaking. 159 00:09:39,960 --> 00:09:42,936 Ah, yes, Tecwen. Hi. It's, erm, Diana Ingram here. 160 00:09:42,960 --> 00:09:46,936 Erm, Adrian's sister. Oh. Hello, yes. Diana. Yes. 161 00:09:46,960 --> 00:09:48,936 Oh, my God, fortuitous timing. You'll never guess what. 162 00:09:48,960 --> 00:09:50,296 Oh, I-I think I can, actually, 163 00:09:50,320 --> 00:09:52,936 you're going to be on the show tomorrow, I've just heard, 164 00:09:52,960 --> 00:09:56,936 erm, weirdly, I'm here... at the studio. 165 00:09:56,960 --> 00:09:57,937 Charles, my husband, he's here, 166 00:09:57,961 --> 00:09:59,936 he's going to be in the chair tomorrow, 167 00:09:59,960 --> 00:10:01,936 for when you're in the Fastest Finger seats. 168 00:10:01,960 --> 00:10:04,936 Oh, my. What a coincidence. I know. I know. 169 00:10:04,960 --> 00:10:06,960 So, erm, I just thought I'd call for a quick chat. 170 00:10:09,960 --> 00:10:14,936 MUSIC AND APPLAUSE 171 00:10:14,960 --> 00:10:17,960 All right? 172 00:10:20,960 --> 00:10:22,936 MUSIC DIES 173 00:10:22,960 --> 00:10:27,936 CLOCK TICKS 174 00:10:27,960 --> 00:10:30,960 HE SIGHS 175 00:10:37,960 --> 00:10:39,936 We're welcoming back Charles, 176 00:10:39,960 --> 00:10:42,936 Major Charles Ingram, into the chair. 177 00:10:42,960 --> 00:10:45,296 "Morning, Major!" "Morning, Fawlty!" 178 00:10:45,320 --> 00:10:47,936 So do you have a strategy, then, Major? 179 00:10:47,960 --> 00:10:50,936 Well, erm... Well, yeah, I do. I do have a strategy, actually. 180 00:10:50,960 --> 00:10:53,936 I, erm... I was a bit defensive on the last show, 181 00:10:53,960 --> 00:10:55,936 erm, you know, talking myself out of answers 182 00:10:55,960 --> 00:10:57,936 that I... frankly, I should have known and do know 183 00:10:57,960 --> 00:10:59,976 and, erm... So, yeah... So I'm... I'm... 184 00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:02,776 Yeah, I'm, sort of, going on the counterattack. 185 00:11:02,800 --> 00:11:04,936 We're going on a counterattack. 186 00:11:04,960 --> 00:11:05,937 Yeah, and basically I'm... 187 00:11:05,961 --> 00:11:08,936 I'm just gonna try and show a bit more self-commitment. 188 00:11:08,960 --> 00:11:11,296 Well, erm, let's put this strategy to the test. 189 00:11:11,320 --> 00:11:14,960 Right, Major Charles Ingram, are you ready to play? 190 00:11:15,960 --> 00:11:19,936 THEME MUSIC PLAYS 191 00:11:19,960 --> 00:11:22,936 This, for £8,000. 192 00:11:22,960 --> 00:11:27,936 Who was the second husband of Jacqueline Kennedy? 193 00:11:27,960 --> 00:11:29,936 Adnan Khashoggi. 194 00:11:29,960 --> 00:11:31,296 Ronald Reagan. 195 00:11:31,320 --> 00:11:34,136 Aristotle Onassis. 196 00:11:34,160 --> 00:11:35,936 Rupert Murdoch. 197 00:11:35,960 --> 00:11:38,936 All right, we're not expecting this guy to be in long, 198 00:11:38,960 --> 00:11:39,937 he's two lifelines down, 199 00:11:39,961 --> 00:11:41,936 so make sure we're prepped for the next. 200 00:11:41,960 --> 00:11:43,800 Roger, roger. 201 00:11:44,960 --> 00:11:46,936 I would have thought... 202 00:11:46,960 --> 00:11:50,160 I would have thought it would be Aristotle Onassis. 203 00:11:51,800 --> 00:11:52,960 Erm... 204 00:11:54,960 --> 00:11:57,936 Yeah, one... One of my sub-strategies is... 205 00:11:57,960 --> 00:11:59,936 Oh, my, we've got sub-strategies now?! 206 00:11:59,960 --> 00:12:01,976 Yeah, yeah, and sub-sub-strategies. 207 00:12:02,000 --> 00:12:04,936 But one of my sub-strategies is to take my time 208 00:12:04,960 --> 00:12:07,800 and, erm, list all the... all the options. 209 00:12:08,960 --> 00:12:09,960 So... 210 00:12:11,640 --> 00:12:13,936 Adnan Kashoggi. 211 00:12:13,960 --> 00:12:17,296 Ronald Reagan. 212 00:12:17,320 --> 00:12:21,776 And Rupert Murdoch. 213 00:12:21,800 --> 00:12:23,936 Aristotle Onassis. 214 00:12:23,960 --> 00:12:25,640 COUGHING 215 00:12:33,960 --> 00:12:35,936 Yeah, yeah, I think... 216 00:12:35,960 --> 00:12:39,936 I'm pretty sure it's, erm, Aristotle Onassis. 217 00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:40,937 Final answer? 218 00:12:40,961 --> 00:12:42,160 Final answer, yeah. 219 00:12:43,320 --> 00:12:45,480 You didn't have to play. 220 00:12:47,960 --> 00:12:50,776 Well, this new self-committed Charles 221 00:12:50,800 --> 00:12:52,960 is a wild and crazy man. That's the correct answer! 222 00:13:01,960 --> 00:13:03,936 OK, so you've got £16,000. 223 00:13:03,960 --> 00:13:05,960 Now for the all-important 32,000. 224 00:13:07,960 --> 00:13:11,936 Who had a hit UK album with Born To Do It, 225 00:13:11,960 --> 00:13:15,456 released in 2000? 226 00:13:15,480 --> 00:13:17,936 Coldplay. 227 00:13:17,960 --> 00:13:18,937 Toploader. 228 00:13:18,961 --> 00:13:21,136 A1. 229 00:13:21,160 --> 00:13:22,960 Craig David. 230 00:13:25,480 --> 00:13:27,936 Coldplay. 231 00:13:27,960 --> 00:13:29,456 Toploader. 232 00:13:29,480 --> 00:13:31,616 A1. 233 00:13:31,640 --> 00:13:33,000 Craig David. 234 00:13:39,640 --> 00:13:43,960 HE SIGHS OK, well, erm... 235 00:13:44,960 --> 00:13:47,136 All right? Yeah. 236 00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:52,936 That major from last night is nearly up to 32 grand, amazingly. 237 00:13:52,960 --> 00:13:53,937 'I think it's A1.' 238 00:13:53,961 --> 00:13:55,936 He's like a new man today. 239 00:13:55,960 --> 00:13:57,936 'But it could be Toploader.' 240 00:13:57,960 --> 00:14:00,616 Which is also something to do with a barrel on a rifle. 241 00:14:00,640 --> 00:14:04,960 So... Erm, I've never heard of Craig David. 242 00:14:06,960 --> 00:14:08,936 Erm... 243 00:14:08,960 --> 00:14:10,936 Erm, I... I'm afraid I'm gonna have to... 244 00:14:10,960 --> 00:14:13,936 I think I'm gonna have to use my final lifeline, 50:50. 245 00:14:13,960 --> 00:14:16,936 Computer, take away two wrong answers, 246 00:14:16,960 --> 00:14:19,960 leave Charles with the right answer and one remaining wrong answer. 247 00:14:20,960 --> 00:14:24,960 Oh, that's not any easier... Erm... Urgh. 248 00:14:30,960 --> 00:14:31,937 Do you know what? 249 00:14:31,961 --> 00:14:34,776 I think I'm gonna go for it, I think I'm gonna go for A1. 250 00:14:34,800 --> 00:14:35,936 CROWD GASP Final answer? 251 00:14:35,960 --> 00:14:37,136 No. 252 00:14:37,160 --> 00:14:39,960 LAUGHTER 253 00:14:42,960 --> 00:14:43,960 No. Erm... 254 00:14:48,160 --> 00:14:51,000 Craig David... HE SIGHS 255 00:14:55,960 --> 00:14:57,960 Craig... David. 256 00:15:02,960 --> 00:15:04,960 SHE COUGHS 257 00:15:10,960 --> 00:15:13,936 You know, when... When I'm at home, erm, and I'm practising, 258 00:15:13,960 --> 00:15:15,936 you know, I guess... I guess... 259 00:15:15,960 --> 00:15:18,936 Well, I guess wrong 80% of the time, 260 00:15:18,960 --> 00:15:22,136 so I think I'm gonna go with Craig David. 261 00:15:22,160 --> 00:15:24,936 LAUGHTER 262 00:15:24,960 --> 00:15:26,936 Charles, you'd never heard of him a moment ago?! 263 00:15:26,960 --> 00:15:28,776 No, Craig David. I'm gonna... 264 00:15:28,800 --> 00:15:31,960 Final answer? Yeah, final answer. 265 00:15:34,480 --> 00:15:37,936 Well, erm, what a show this is turning into. 266 00:15:37,960 --> 00:15:40,936 Major Charles Ingram was on £16,000. 267 00:15:40,960 --> 00:15:42,936 He didn't have to play this question. 268 00:15:42,960 --> 00:15:46,936 He said in his own words that he'd never heard of Craig David. 269 00:15:46,960 --> 00:15:48,936 He went with A1. 270 00:15:48,960 --> 00:15:51,936 And then, because... 271 00:15:51,960 --> 00:15:53,976 Well, I'd rather lost the plot of his thinking then, 272 00:15:54,000 --> 00:15:55,936 but he changed his mind, 273 00:15:55,960 --> 00:16:00,936 knowing that he would lose £15,000 if he gave the wrong answer. 274 00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:03,936 He went with Craig David, who he'd never heard of. 275 00:16:03,960 --> 00:16:04,960 Yep. 276 00:16:06,960 --> 00:16:08,936 And that's the right answer! 277 00:16:08,960 --> 00:16:10,936 THEME MUSIC PLAYS Unbelievable. 278 00:16:10,960 --> 00:16:14,936 I don't know how you do that! I really don't! 279 00:16:14,960 --> 00:16:16,960 Incredible. 280 00:16:18,960 --> 00:16:21,936 HE PANTS 281 00:16:21,960 --> 00:16:24,000 PHONE RINGS 282 00:16:25,000 --> 00:16:27,456 Yes? Paul. It's David. 283 00:16:27,480 --> 00:16:30,936 It's happening, I think the thing is happening. 284 00:16:30,960 --> 00:16:32,936 The rollover contestant from last night, 285 00:16:32,960 --> 00:16:34,296 I think he's cheating. 286 00:16:34,320 --> 00:16:37,296 He...? What, in getting on the show? 287 00:16:37,320 --> 00:16:38,776 No, cheating on the show, 288 00:16:38,800 --> 00:16:40,936 cheating at the actual... the actual game. 289 00:16:40,960 --> 00:16:43,936 Is the correct answer. APPLAUSE 290 00:16:43,960 --> 00:16:45,936 How do you...? You can't cheat the show, 291 00:16:45,960 --> 00:16:47,616 either you know the answer, or you don't. 292 00:16:47,640 --> 00:16:49,960 Look something isn't right. He's... 293 00:16:51,960 --> 00:16:53,960 Normal people don't play like this. 294 00:16:55,160 --> 00:16:57,960 All right, I'm... I'm coming down. 295 00:17:00,000 --> 00:17:02,960 Yeah, I mean, it's a down payment on a house, isn't it? So... 296 00:17:08,960 --> 00:17:10,936 So, yeah. Yeah. Holbein. 297 00:17:10,960 --> 00:17:11,937 Holbein. 298 00:17:11,961 --> 00:17:13,936 Final answer? 299 00:17:13,960 --> 00:17:15,000 Final answer. 300 00:17:16,960 --> 00:17:19,960 OK. Erm, first of all, you thought it was Rembrandt. 301 00:17:21,960 --> 00:17:24,936 Said you'd seen the painting. 302 00:17:24,960 --> 00:17:26,320 You then thought it was Holbein. 303 00:17:33,000 --> 00:17:39,616 You've just won £125,000! 304 00:17:39,640 --> 00:17:41,936 Incredible. 305 00:17:41,960 --> 00:17:44,456 Incredible. You're just getting better! 306 00:17:44,480 --> 00:17:46,936 OK, something's weird. 307 00:17:46,960 --> 00:17:49,936 How is he doing this? Yeah, I have no idea. 308 00:17:49,960 --> 00:17:52,936 I mean, you were struggling more at £200 than you are now. 309 00:17:52,960 --> 00:17:55,936 I-I dunno! Unbelievable. 310 00:17:55,960 --> 00:17:56,937 HE MOUTHS 311 00:17:56,961 --> 00:17:58,936 Well, Charles, here it is. 312 00:17:58,960 --> 00:18:02,936 A cheque, for a quarter of a... It sounds strange doesn't it, 313 00:18:02,960 --> 00:18:05,936 ..a quarter of a million pounds. Gosh, you're shaking. 314 00:18:05,960 --> 00:18:06,937 I know, I know, I don't... 315 00:18:06,961 --> 00:18:09,936 I know that, frankly, you didn't think you'd be able to 316 00:18:09,960 --> 00:18:11,936 equal your wife. And, frankly, Charles, nor did I. 317 00:18:11,960 --> 00:18:15,936 LAUGHTER Well, this is real money. 318 00:18:15,960 --> 00:18:18,936 £250,000. 319 00:18:18,960 --> 00:18:20,960 But we don't want to give you that! 320 00:18:22,960 --> 00:18:24,936 This question... 321 00:18:24,960 --> 00:18:26,936 for half a million pounds. 322 00:18:26,960 --> 00:18:28,960 THEME MUSIC PLAYS 323 00:18:31,960 --> 00:18:36,960 Baron Haussmann is best known for the planning of which city? 324 00:18:38,000 --> 00:18:39,936 Rome. 325 00:18:39,960 --> 00:18:41,936 Paris. 326 00:18:41,960 --> 00:18:43,936 Berlin. 327 00:18:43,960 --> 00:18:44,960 Athens. 328 00:18:48,960 --> 00:18:51,936 Think it's Berlin. LAUGHTER 329 00:18:51,960 --> 00:18:52,960 God! 330 00:18:58,960 --> 00:19:00,296 Yeah, Berlin. 331 00:19:00,320 --> 00:19:02,936 I mean, Haussmann... 332 00:19:02,960 --> 00:19:04,776 You know, seems... Seems like a German name, 333 00:19:04,800 --> 00:19:05,936 rather than a Italian name, 334 00:19:05,960 --> 00:19:07,936 or a Parisian name, or an Athens name. 335 00:19:07,960 --> 00:19:09,640 Erm... 336 00:19:13,640 --> 00:19:14,960 Rome. 337 00:19:15,960 --> 00:19:18,960 Paris. COUGHING 338 00:19:23,960 --> 00:19:25,936 Yeah. Do you know, I'm gonna, I'm gonna rethink it. 339 00:19:25,960 --> 00:19:28,936 Because I don't... I don't think it's Athens 340 00:19:28,960 --> 00:19:31,616 and I'm pretty sure it's not Rome. 341 00:19:31,640 --> 00:19:32,936 And I would have thought... 342 00:19:32,960 --> 00:19:35,936 I would have thought it was, erm... 343 00:19:35,960 --> 00:19:38,296 Berlin, but there's a chance it could be Paris. 344 00:19:38,320 --> 00:19:39,960 COUGHING 345 00:19:45,320 --> 00:19:47,480 Oh, God, no. 346 00:19:48,960 --> 00:19:52,960 You stand to lose £218,000. 347 00:19:56,960 --> 00:19:58,456 Yeah, I think... I-I think it's Paris. 348 00:19:58,480 --> 00:20:00,296 I'm gonna play. 349 00:20:00,320 --> 00:20:03,960 Right, hang on. Now, wait, where are we?! 350 00:20:04,960 --> 00:20:06,936 HE COUGHS No, Paris. 351 00:20:06,960 --> 00:20:09,296 Paris, final answer. 352 00:20:09,320 --> 00:20:11,960 Final answer? Final answer. 353 00:20:15,960 --> 00:20:17,936 You thought it was Berlin. 354 00:20:17,960 --> 00:20:19,960 "Berlin, Berlin, Berlin". 355 00:20:23,960 --> 00:20:25,280 You changed your mind to Paris... 356 00:20:27,960 --> 00:20:30,960 That's brought you £500,000! Yes! Yes! 357 00:20:32,960 --> 00:20:34,960 That's unbelievable! Unbelievable! 358 00:20:38,960 --> 00:20:40,936 Incredible. Oh, shit, the glitter. 359 00:20:40,960 --> 00:20:42,936 Never thought we'd get to the million-pound question, 360 00:20:42,960 --> 00:20:44,936 but we're at the million-pound question, 361 00:20:44,960 --> 00:20:46,936 I never prepared the bloody glitter. Where's the glitter man? 362 00:20:46,960 --> 00:20:52,936 ♪ It's raining men, hallelujah It's raining men, amen 363 00:20:52,960 --> 00:20:56,976 ♪ It's raining men, hallelujah... ♪ PHONE RINGS 364 00:20:57,000 --> 00:21:01,960 ♪ Ame-e-e-e-en. ♪ 365 00:21:25,960 --> 00:21:27,616 Well, erm... 366 00:21:27,640 --> 00:21:29,936 It's not often I get to say this. But... 367 00:21:29,960 --> 00:21:33,936 for £1 million: 368 00:21:33,960 --> 00:21:35,936 The number one, 369 00:21:35,960 --> 00:21:39,776 followed by 100 zeros 370 00:21:39,800 --> 00:21:41,960 is known by what name? 371 00:21:43,640 --> 00:21:44,976 Googol. 372 00:21:45,000 --> 00:21:47,936 Megatron. 373 00:21:47,960 --> 00:21:49,936 Gigabit. 374 00:21:49,960 --> 00:21:51,480 Nanomole. 375 00:21:58,640 --> 00:22:01,296 Well, let's see. HE EXHALES 376 00:22:01,320 --> 00:22:05,456 Erm, Giga... 377 00:22:05,480 --> 00:22:06,936 Nano... 378 00:22:06,960 --> 00:22:08,160 Oh, God, don't start. 379 00:22:19,960 --> 00:22:21,960 HE STRAINS 380 00:22:23,960 --> 00:22:25,160 Right, OK. 381 00:22:27,960 --> 00:22:31,936 God, I don't... I don't, erm... 382 00:22:31,960 --> 00:22:35,936 Well? Watch, just watch... 383 00:22:35,960 --> 00:22:37,936 I'm not sure. 384 00:22:37,960 --> 00:22:40,936 However... LAUGHTER 385 00:22:40,960 --> 00:22:43,960 Charles, you haven't been sure since question two! 386 00:22:48,320 --> 00:22:52,960 God, I... I think... I think it's a Megatron. 387 00:22:57,960 --> 00:22:59,936 I have to say, I've... 388 00:22:59,960 --> 00:23:00,937 And I've never heard, 389 00:23:00,961 --> 00:23:02,936 I haven't... No, I've never heard of a googol. 390 00:23:02,960 --> 00:23:07,776 HE PANTS 391 00:23:07,800 --> 00:23:10,960 Do you know the answer? Yes, it's googol. 392 00:23:13,960 --> 00:23:15,960 That's what I thought. 393 00:23:19,960 --> 00:23:21,960 Googol. COUGHING 394 00:23:22,960 --> 00:23:24,960 Googol. COUGHING 395 00:23:27,480 --> 00:23:29,936 Yeah, I mean, you know, by process of elimination, 396 00:23:29,960 --> 00:23:32,936 I actually think it is a googol. But I don't know what a googol is. 397 00:23:32,960 --> 00:23:34,960 LAUGHTER 398 00:23:36,960 --> 00:23:38,976 It's not a gigabit, a nanomole, or a Megatron 399 00:23:39,000 --> 00:23:41,936 and there's only four of them, so it must be googol, mustn't it? 400 00:23:41,960 --> 00:23:43,480 I mean... 401 00:23:45,960 --> 00:23:48,936 HE LAUGHS 402 00:23:48,960 --> 00:23:51,936 I mean, I don't mind taking the odd risk now and again. 403 00:23:51,960 --> 00:23:53,960 CROWD GROAN 404 00:23:55,000 --> 00:23:58,480 My strategy has... has worked so far. 405 00:24:04,960 --> 00:24:06,936 Chris, I'm gonna play. CROWD GASP 406 00:24:06,960 --> 00:24:09,936 You know, you don't have to play this, Charles. 407 00:24:09,960 --> 00:24:11,936 No-one would blame you if you walked away right now, 408 00:24:11,960 --> 00:24:13,960 with half a million pounds. 409 00:24:20,960 --> 00:24:21,937 Googol. 410 00:24:21,961 --> 00:24:23,936 Final answer? 411 00:24:23,960 --> 00:24:25,936 Final answer. 412 00:24:25,960 --> 00:24:27,960 Catch me when I fall on the floor. 413 00:24:33,960 --> 00:24:34,937 Don't go to a break. 414 00:24:34,961 --> 00:24:38,136 Please, don't go to... Please, don't go for a break. 415 00:24:38,160 --> 00:24:40,936 We're taking a break. Oh, God! 416 00:24:40,960 --> 00:24:42,616 CROWD GROAN 417 00:24:42,640 --> 00:24:45,456 Don't go anywhere, I know you won't, 418 00:24:45,480 --> 00:24:48,936 on what is an epic night in British television. 419 00:24:48,960 --> 00:24:51,960 THEME MUSIC PLAYS 420 00:24:56,800 --> 00:24:57,960 Oh, my God. 421 00:25:01,960 --> 00:25:04,936 We should stop it now. Just stop it. 422 00:25:04,960 --> 00:25:07,936 We can't stop it, we have no proof. We just, I don't know, just... 423 00:25:07,960 --> 00:25:09,960 HE SIGHS We have to carry on. 424 00:25:11,960 --> 00:25:14,936 You all right? Erm, yeah, I just, erm... 425 00:25:14,960 --> 00:25:16,936 I mean, no, not really. HE CHUCKLES 426 00:25:16,960 --> 00:25:18,936 No! 427 00:25:18,960 --> 00:25:21,936 So you can see, can you, if I've got the answer right on your screen? 428 00:25:21,960 --> 00:25:22,960 I can. 429 00:25:23,960 --> 00:25:26,960 I'm sure it'll just be a few seconds. 430 00:25:34,960 --> 00:25:35,960 Thank you. 431 00:25:37,960 --> 00:25:39,320 HE MOUTHS 432 00:25:45,960 --> 00:25:48,936 OK, studio, and... 433 00:25:48,960 --> 00:25:50,960 THEME MUSIC PLAYS 434 00:25:53,000 --> 00:25:54,936 Welcome back. 435 00:25:54,960 --> 00:25:57,936 Wow. Erm, we are here with Charles Ingram. 436 00:25:57,960 --> 00:26:01,936 Who, after first thinking it was Megatron, 437 00:26:01,960 --> 00:26:05,936 erm, then played googol as his final answer. 438 00:26:05,960 --> 00:26:07,960 Even though he'd never heard of it. 439 00:26:14,960 --> 00:26:16,960 Charles? 440 00:26:20,320 --> 00:26:25,616 You've just won £1 million! 441 00:26:25,640 --> 00:26:28,960 One million! 442 00:26:29,960 --> 00:26:35,936 You are the most amazing player we have ever, ever had! 443 00:26:35,960 --> 00:26:39,456 Diana? Come on down, my darling, come on. 444 00:26:39,480 --> 00:26:41,936 One million! 445 00:26:41,960 --> 00:26:44,936 £1 million! 446 00:26:44,960 --> 00:26:47,960 I can't believe it. CHEERING 447 00:26:48,960 --> 00:26:52,936 SHE SOBS 448 00:26:52,960 --> 00:26:56,296 The best player we have ever had! 449 00:26:56,320 --> 00:26:57,936 What a man! 450 00:26:57,960 --> 00:26:59,936 Quite an amazing man. 451 00:26:59,960 --> 00:27:03,936 I have no idea how you did it. 452 00:27:03,960 --> 00:27:06,936 I don't know. Unbelievable! Unbelievable! 453 00:27:06,960 --> 00:27:09,936 Unbelievable, Diana, my darling, come here. 454 00:27:09,960 --> 00:27:12,936 Ladies and gentlemen, Charles Ingram. 455 00:27:12,960 --> 00:27:17,320 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 456 00:27:23,960 --> 00:27:26,776 ♪ Right from Her doorway we roam... ♪ 457 00:27:26,800 --> 00:27:27,936 THEY LAUGH 458 00:27:27,960 --> 00:27:31,936 ♪ Eats and then It's a pleasure again 459 00:27:31,960 --> 00:27:32,937 ♪ Walkin' my baby... ♪ 460 00:27:32,961 --> 00:27:38,936 "Charles Ingram. One million." 461 00:27:38,960 --> 00:27:40,936 ♪ I don't mean maybe 462 00:27:40,960 --> 00:27:44,136 ♪ Walkin' my baby 463 00:27:44,160 --> 00:27:49,936 ♪ Back home. ♪ 464 00:27:49,960 --> 00:27:52,960 THEY LAUGH 465 00:27:53,960 --> 00:27:55,976 What? What am I listening for? 466 00:27:56,000 --> 00:27:58,136 Just wait. It, erm... 467 00:27:58,160 --> 00:28:02,960 I don't know, I don't know, just... play VT. 468 00:28:04,960 --> 00:28:08,936 'Googol.' COUGHING 469 00:28:08,960 --> 00:28:10,936 That, there. Right there. 470 00:28:10,960 --> 00:28:12,936 A cough. So what? 471 00:28:12,960 --> 00:28:14,616 There's always coughing. 472 00:28:14,640 --> 00:28:15,936 I think... I don't definitely know, 473 00:28:15,960 --> 00:28:17,936 but I think there's, like, a pattern. 474 00:28:17,960 --> 00:28:19,936 Of what, coughing? From who? 475 00:28:19,960 --> 00:28:21,456 Look, there's gotta be something, Paul. 476 00:28:21,480 --> 00:28:23,136 Watch last night's tape, he's useless. 477 00:28:23,160 --> 00:28:25,616 And then, what, he comes back an utter genius? 478 00:28:25,640 --> 00:28:27,936 Replay VT. 479 00:28:27,960 --> 00:28:29,936 'Googol.' COUGHING 480 00:28:29,960 --> 00:28:30,937 Turn it up. 481 00:28:30,961 --> 00:28:32,936 'Googol.' COUGHING 482 00:28:32,960 --> 00:28:33,937 Then he changes his answer. 483 00:28:33,961 --> 00:28:36,936 'By process of elimination, I actually think it is a googol. 484 00:28:36,960 --> 00:28:38,960 'But I just don't know what a googol is.' 485 00:28:43,960 --> 00:28:46,936 PHONE RINGS Hi, Paul? 486 00:28:46,960 --> 00:28:47,937 'Um, hi, Ruth.' 487 00:28:47,961 --> 00:28:50,936 Erm, we've had another millionaire. 488 00:28:50,960 --> 00:28:52,936 Oh. OK, great! 489 00:28:52,960 --> 00:28:55,936 Except... 490 00:28:55,960 --> 00:28:58,936 I think that... Erm, WE think something's not right. 491 00:28:58,960 --> 00:29:00,936 We think the guy may have cheated. 492 00:29:00,960 --> 00:29:04,136 PHONE RINGS 493 00:29:04,160 --> 00:29:05,936 Hello? 494 00:29:05,960 --> 00:29:07,136 What the shitting hell? 495 00:29:07,160 --> 00:29:10,640 BABY GARBLES 496 00:29:32,960 --> 00:29:33,936 Cheeky bastards, who are they? 497 00:29:33,960 --> 00:29:34,937 Are they one of that group 498 00:29:34,961 --> 00:29:36,936 you talked about getting on the show? Morning. 499 00:29:36,960 --> 00:29:39,136 We don't know, we just know he's a wrong'un. 500 00:29:39,160 --> 00:29:40,936 Are you OK? 501 00:29:40,960 --> 00:29:42,960 No, I'm not OK, of course, I'm not OK. 502 00:29:44,000 --> 00:29:45,936 Sorry, sorry, it's murder on the old... 503 00:29:45,960 --> 00:29:48,296 This is Lionel, from legal. Coffee? How do you take it? 504 00:29:48,320 --> 00:29:49,936 Oh, just, erm, massive. 505 00:29:49,960 --> 00:29:52,936 Look, before anything else, 506 00:29:52,960 --> 00:29:55,936 the most urgent thing is whether to air tomorrow's episode, 507 00:29:55,960 --> 00:29:57,936 because if we don't, then ten million people 508 00:29:57,960 --> 00:29:59,936 are gonna need something else to watch. 509 00:29:59,960 --> 00:30:01,936 I have a tape on its way, you can see for yourself. 510 00:30:01,960 --> 00:30:03,936 Well, what about the police? The police? 511 00:30:03,960 --> 00:30:05,936 Yeah. Is...? Is this a police...? 512 00:30:05,960 --> 00:30:09,936 Well, it's not... not. It's theft. It's £1 million. 513 00:30:09,960 --> 00:30:12,936 If this was a bank vault or a diamond store in Hatton Gardens 514 00:30:12,960 --> 00:30:14,936 there'd be helicopters by now, roadblocks. 515 00:30:14,960 --> 00:30:17,936 Come in... Ah, right, see for yourself. 516 00:30:17,960 --> 00:30:20,936 All I'm saying is, is it a crime to cheat on a game show? 517 00:30:20,960 --> 00:30:24,936 Well, it's... It's... Well... Stop saying "well", Lionel. 518 00:30:24,960 --> 00:30:26,936 I'm from legal. It's my job to say "well". 519 00:30:26,960 --> 00:30:27,960 SHE SNEEZES 520 00:30:31,960 --> 00:30:33,936 See for yourselves. 'Do you know what? 521 00:30:33,960 --> 00:30:36,120 'I think I am going to go for it. I'm gonna go for A1.' 522 00:30:37,960 --> 00:30:39,936 'Final answer? No.' 523 00:30:39,960 --> 00:30:41,960 LAUGHTER 524 00:30:43,160 --> 00:30:47,936 'No. Erm... A1. 525 00:30:47,960 --> 00:30:50,936 'Craig... David.' 526 00:30:50,960 --> 00:30:52,976 COUGHING 527 00:30:53,000 --> 00:30:55,936 Oh, Jesus, Je-sus. 528 00:30:55,960 --> 00:30:56,937 It's so obvious. 529 00:30:56,961 --> 00:31:00,936 And don't forget that his wife has already been on the show. 530 00:31:00,960 --> 00:31:01,937 She knows the ins and outs. 531 00:31:01,961 --> 00:31:03,936 'I normally guess wrong 80% of the time...' 532 00:31:03,960 --> 00:31:06,936 Watch now. He changes his answer. 533 00:31:06,960 --> 00:31:09,616 'I think I'm going to go with Craig David.' 534 00:31:09,640 --> 00:31:12,936 OK, I say we don't air. Agreed. 535 00:31:12,960 --> 00:31:14,936 We can edit forward to the next contestant in the chair. 536 00:31:14,960 --> 00:31:16,960 Would you fast forward, please? 537 00:31:18,960 --> 00:31:20,960 Can we do that, is it that simple? 538 00:31:22,960 --> 00:31:25,936 Oh, arse, the glitter on the floor. 539 00:31:25,960 --> 00:31:26,937 Well, if no-one has won, 540 00:31:26,961 --> 00:31:29,616 where did the glitter just come from? No-one will notice. 541 00:31:29,640 --> 00:31:30,776 Or care. 542 00:31:30,800 --> 00:31:33,936 This is Tecwen Whittock, from Whitchurch, Cardiff. 543 00:31:33,960 --> 00:31:35,936 Can you stretch out his turn, make him longer? 544 00:31:35,960 --> 00:31:37,936 It'll be a struggle. 545 00:31:37,960 --> 00:31:40,960 He was erm, nothing special, you know. 546 00:31:41,960 --> 00:31:43,936 KNOCK ON DOOR 547 00:31:43,960 --> 00:31:45,960 Did you order something? No. 548 00:31:51,960 --> 00:31:52,937 Oh. Hello, hello, David Briggs. 549 00:31:52,961 --> 00:31:54,936 Ah, yes, hello, hello. Hello, this is Ruth Settle. 550 00:31:54,960 --> 00:31:57,776 Hi. Hi, hello. Morning, morning. Oh, hello. 551 00:31:57,800 --> 00:31:59,936 Oh, hi. Sleep OK? 552 00:31:59,960 --> 00:32:02,456 If at all, you must be... 553 00:32:02,480 --> 00:32:04,936 Erm... Oh, what's this about? Oh, it's only to, erm... 554 00:32:04,960 --> 00:32:07,936 It's just to work out the next few days. 555 00:32:07,960 --> 00:32:08,936 The angle, the coverage. 556 00:32:08,960 --> 00:32:09,937 So your press conference, 557 00:32:09,961 --> 00:32:13,616 we thought, because of question 12 for 125,000, 558 00:32:13,640 --> 00:32:15,960 The Ambassadors is a painting by which artist? 559 00:32:18,960 --> 00:32:23,936 The... What, the Holbein? The Holbein. Well done, correct! 560 00:32:23,960 --> 00:32:27,960 We are thinking of hosting it there, in front of the painting. Ah, right. 561 00:32:29,320 --> 00:32:30,936 But you... 562 00:32:30,960 --> 00:32:32,936 You did keep changing your mind a lot, didn't you? 563 00:32:32,960 --> 00:32:36,296 Well, actually, that was to explain my thinking to the audience, 564 00:32:36,320 --> 00:32:38,480 so I wasn't just, you know, sat there like a muppet. 565 00:32:39,960 --> 00:32:42,936 It's, erm, probably just that, don't you think? 566 00:32:42,960 --> 00:32:44,960 What's "probably" what? 567 00:32:45,960 --> 00:32:49,776 Actually, erm, Diana mentions all these tips in her book 568 00:32:49,800 --> 00:32:51,936 that she's writing with her brother about the show. 569 00:32:51,960 --> 00:32:54,936 What? It'll help publicise it, won't it? Being a winner. 570 00:32:54,960 --> 00:32:57,776 You're writing a book? Oh, just a little stocking filler. 571 00:32:57,800 --> 00:32:59,936 With hints and things about how to get onto the show, 572 00:32:59,960 --> 00:33:01,936 how to play, just a few things that we've picked up 573 00:33:01,960 --> 00:33:03,936 from this community of fans, that's all. 574 00:33:03,960 --> 00:33:06,936 Gosh, that... That sound really helpful. 575 00:33:06,960 --> 00:33:09,456 I wouldn't mention that to the press yet. No. 576 00:33:09,480 --> 00:33:11,936 We'll... We'll have an embargo until the show airs. 577 00:33:11,960 --> 00:33:13,960 We have to handle everything... delicately. 578 00:33:16,960 --> 00:33:19,936 Guilty as sin. THEY GRUMBLE 579 00:33:19,960 --> 00:33:23,296 Bollocks. Look, they are quiz obsessive, they're... 580 00:33:23,320 --> 00:33:25,936 They are fans of the show, so they're a bit much, 581 00:33:25,960 --> 00:33:26,937 but apart from that. 582 00:33:26,961 --> 00:33:29,000 Watch the tape. Play her the tape. 583 00:33:31,320 --> 00:33:35,616 Oh, and she's, erm, writing a book, the wife, 584 00:33:35,640 --> 00:33:38,936 like, erm, an expose of the show. She what?! 585 00:33:38,960 --> 00:33:41,776 Oh, my God... It's just a tiny, little stocking filler. 586 00:33:41,800 --> 00:33:44,936 Look, I just come off the phone from some of our guys at the studio 587 00:33:44,960 --> 00:33:46,936 who are investigating all possible, you know, and... 588 00:33:46,960 --> 00:33:49,936 And they have gone into the car park with some sort of radio receiver 589 00:33:49,960 --> 00:33:51,936 and they're saying it's possible 590 00:33:51,960 --> 00:33:54,936 to listen in to the show relay from outside? 591 00:33:54,960 --> 00:33:57,456 David, do we not scramble that signal? 592 00:33:57,480 --> 00:33:59,936 Why would we scramble the signal? 593 00:33:59,960 --> 00:34:02,936 How do you scramble a signal? What's this now? The relay? 594 00:34:02,960 --> 00:34:05,936 I'm just saying that hypothetically, someone, 595 00:34:05,960 --> 00:34:07,936 maybe someone from this... this... this group 596 00:34:07,960 --> 00:34:10,936 could listen in to the show from outside. 597 00:34:10,960 --> 00:34:13,936 And how would that help them? To hear the questions! 598 00:34:13,960 --> 00:34:16,936 Look up the answers and communicate back in. 599 00:34:16,960 --> 00:34:18,936 To who? The person in the chair?! Maybe! I don't know! 600 00:34:18,960 --> 00:34:20,936 Or someone in the audience, with a mobile phone. 601 00:34:20,960 --> 00:34:22,936 We don't allow mobile phones in the studio. 602 00:34:22,960 --> 00:34:24,960 Yeah, but do we check? Course we check. 603 00:34:26,960 --> 00:34:28,936 Do we check? 604 00:34:28,960 --> 00:34:31,616 No. Course we don't check, how would we check? 605 00:34:31,640 --> 00:34:33,136 You don't search the audience? 606 00:34:33,160 --> 00:34:35,936 Let's get it all out now, shall we? After the horse has bolted. 607 00:34:35,960 --> 00:34:38,936 This is all just happening this morning. 608 00:34:38,960 --> 00:34:40,936 Right, it's a game show! It's not Fort Knox! 609 00:34:40,960 --> 00:34:43,936 Whoa, wait, are we saying that it's not someone coughing, then? 610 00:34:43,960 --> 00:34:46,936 It could be the coughing. It's definitely the coughing. 611 00:34:46,960 --> 00:34:48,936 Either way, I'm calling the police. 612 00:34:48,960 --> 00:34:51,456 Who would you even call? Like, which, like, branch? 613 00:34:51,480 --> 00:34:52,936 I'll text my person to look up for IP. 614 00:34:52,960 --> 00:34:54,936 Hold on, have they have even cashed the cheque yet? 615 00:34:54,960 --> 00:34:56,936 Wait, have...? Have we cancelled the cheque? 616 00:34:56,960 --> 00:34:58,936 I don't know. I mean... 617 00:34:58,960 --> 00:35:00,936 I mean, no, we haven't cancelled the cheque, 618 00:35:00,960 --> 00:35:03,936 I've been at the... Lionel. Should we cancel the cheque? 619 00:35:03,960 --> 00:35:06,616 I'm just thinking, we might need to wait for them to cash the cheque 620 00:35:06,640 --> 00:35:08,616 for it to be stealing. No, no, no, if we do that, 621 00:35:08,640 --> 00:35:10,936 that would be entrapment, surely, by us? 622 00:35:10,960 --> 00:35:11,937 Yeah, but if they cash the cheque, 623 00:35:11,961 --> 00:35:13,936 do we have to sue them to get it back? 624 00:35:13,960 --> 00:35:15,936 Am I cancelling the cheque, or aren't I?! Well... 625 00:35:15,960 --> 00:35:19,936 No, I just don't see it. Don't you hear it?! The coughing. 626 00:35:19,960 --> 00:35:22,936 Is that how loud it actually was? Yes. 627 00:35:22,960 --> 00:35:25,936 Well... No, we've isolated them a bit, for you to hear... 628 00:35:25,960 --> 00:35:28,456 Listen, you can hear the coughs at the right answers. 629 00:35:28,480 --> 00:35:30,936 Yeah, and I can hear the coughs on the wrong answers! 630 00:35:30,960 --> 00:35:32,936 Here. These are the people at Scotland Yard to call, 631 00:35:32,960 --> 00:35:35,936 it's something called the Celebrity Crimes Squad or something, 632 00:35:35,960 --> 00:35:38,616 I don't know. Really? Sounds like a shit detective show. 633 00:35:38,640 --> 00:35:40,616 Yeah, sounds like something we'd make. Wow. 634 00:35:40,640 --> 00:35:42,936 Wait, I'm confused, what are we saying to them? 635 00:35:42,960 --> 00:35:44,936 That this is... There's more people? 636 00:35:44,960 --> 00:35:46,936 That this is part of a bigger... conspiracy? 637 00:35:46,960 --> 00:35:47,937 All I'm saying is we don't know 638 00:35:47,961 --> 00:35:49,936 how many people were outside helping, 639 00:35:49,960 --> 00:35:50,937 inside, helping him. 640 00:35:50,961 --> 00:35:53,936 Yeah, but you can't pack the place out with people that you know. 641 00:35:53,960 --> 00:35:55,080 You only get the one ticket. 642 00:35:56,960 --> 00:35:57,960 Actually... 643 00:35:59,960 --> 00:36:01,936 Actually, on the first night, 644 00:36:01,960 --> 00:36:04,936 the Ingram's did have someone else there. 645 00:36:04,960 --> 00:36:06,960 Diana's brother. 646 00:36:07,960 --> 00:36:09,936 The brother... was there...? 647 00:36:09,960 --> 00:36:11,960 Yeah. God dammit! 648 00:36:14,960 --> 00:36:15,960 I'm calling the police. 649 00:36:17,960 --> 00:36:18,937 'What a man!' 650 00:36:18,961 --> 00:36:21,976 'A major disaster is occurring in New York City this afternoon.' 651 00:36:22,000 --> 00:36:24,936 Wait a sec... 652 00:36:24,960 --> 00:36:25,937 what is that? 653 00:36:25,961 --> 00:36:27,776 'World Trade Centre is on fire. 654 00:36:27,800 --> 00:36:31,936 'Early indications are that a Boeing 747 out of Boston 655 00:36:31,960 --> 00:36:36,936 'collided with the tower at 1:46 PM this afternoon, 8:46 AM CET.' 656 00:36:36,960 --> 00:36:38,976 Is that live? It must be.. 657 00:36:39,000 --> 00:36:41,936 'Eye witness reports are coming in that the plane banked sharply 658 00:36:41,960 --> 00:36:45,776 'and made a direct hit at around the 80th floor of the building. 659 00:36:45,800 --> 00:36:48,936 'More as we have it. Thank you, Nicholas. 660 00:36:48,960 --> 00:36:51,936 'As you can imagine, there is chaos in the streets of downtown New York. 661 00:36:51,960 --> 00:36:54,776 'All major buildings are being evacuated in the area 662 00:36:54,800 --> 00:36:56,936 'surrounding the World Trade Centre. 663 00:36:56,960 --> 00:37:00,936 'There's been a second collision, possibly another plane goes...' 664 00:37:00,960 --> 00:37:03,960 Are you OK? Just awful. 665 00:37:05,960 --> 00:37:09,936 Yeah. Puts it all in perspective, doesn't it? 666 00:37:09,960 --> 00:37:13,936 I haven't even told the chaps about our win yet, all seems a bit... 667 00:37:13,960 --> 00:37:15,936 Actually there was a message for you from Celador 668 00:37:15,960 --> 00:37:18,936 when I got back from school. I don't know if you... Right. 669 00:37:18,960 --> 00:37:21,000 OK, well, life goes on, eh? 670 00:37:22,800 --> 00:37:24,936 Yeah. 671 00:37:24,960 --> 00:37:26,936 I love you. I love you. 672 00:37:26,960 --> 00:37:28,960 Give me that number. 673 00:37:30,960 --> 00:37:33,936 Detective Sergeant Sam Ferguson from the Special Inquiry Unit, 674 00:37:33,960 --> 00:37:36,936 this is my colleague, Detective Constable Amir Cave. 675 00:37:36,960 --> 00:37:37,937 You rang. 676 00:37:37,961 --> 00:37:40,776 Well, I don't think any of us expected you to come today, 677 00:37:40,800 --> 00:37:43,136 given the, erm... Yeah. 678 00:37:43,160 --> 00:37:45,936 Terrible thing. But... 679 00:37:45,960 --> 00:37:47,456 crimes still need solving. 680 00:37:47,480 --> 00:37:50,936 So, we've been brought up to speed by Mr... 681 00:37:50,960 --> 00:37:53,160 PHONE RINGS Oh, excuse me. This'll be him. 682 00:37:58,960 --> 00:38:01,936 Hello, Paul Smith? Paul, hello. 683 00:38:01,960 --> 00:38:04,296 It's Charles Ingram here, I was just on your show. 684 00:38:04,320 --> 00:38:06,616 Charles, thank you for calling back. 685 00:38:06,640 --> 00:38:08,936 Erm, so I have to tell you... 686 00:38:08,960 --> 00:38:12,936 that we have suspicions from viewing the recording of Monday's programme 687 00:38:12,960 --> 00:38:16,616 and subsequently studying the tapes carefully, 688 00:38:16,640 --> 00:38:19,936 that there were irregularities during the taping of the show 689 00:38:19,960 --> 00:38:23,936 in which you participated. Oh, Good Lord, no. 690 00:38:23,960 --> 00:38:25,936 Because of that I have to tell you that these suspicions... 691 00:38:25,960 --> 00:38:28,960 THEY MUTTER ..have been referred to the police. 692 00:38:29,960 --> 00:38:33,776 Right. And thus we will not, for the moment, 693 00:38:33,800 --> 00:38:37,960 be airing the programme, or indeed authorising payment of the cheque. 694 00:38:38,960 --> 00:38:39,960 Right. 695 00:38:41,960 --> 00:38:43,960 Yeah. Well, I mean, you know... 696 00:38:45,960 --> 00:38:49,936 ..I completely refute that, obviously. 697 00:38:49,960 --> 00:38:52,136 All right. 698 00:38:52,160 --> 00:38:53,640 Good Lord. 699 00:38:56,960 --> 00:38:59,960 Well, goodbye. Goodbye. 700 00:39:14,960 --> 00:39:19,936 Police? You're an army major. I'm a teaching assistant. 701 00:39:19,960 --> 00:39:22,136 People like us don't deal with the police, this is Wiltshire. 702 00:39:22,160 --> 00:39:24,616 It's what he said. 703 00:39:24,640 --> 00:39:28,936 I sort of... told our book publisher about your win 704 00:39:28,960 --> 00:39:30,936 and they've set up this photo and interview thing 705 00:39:30,960 --> 00:39:33,936 for this Sunday. I know the Millionaire people said not to, 706 00:39:33,960 --> 00:39:35,936 but the publishers said it was too good not to. 707 00:39:35,960 --> 00:39:38,936 For the book... Well, there won't be a book, will there, if...? 708 00:39:38,960 --> 00:39:41,936 I bet it wasn't the publishers who said that, I bet it was Adrian. 709 00:39:41,960 --> 00:39:44,936 I bet you've been speaking to him. Have you spoken to Adrian again? 710 00:39:44,960 --> 00:39:47,936 How? If he's on the run? On the run! 711 00:39:47,960 --> 00:39:49,936 As if that's a normal sentence for a normal person to say! 712 00:39:49,960 --> 00:39:53,296 I'm a commissioned officer in the British Army. There are standards. 713 00:39:53,320 --> 00:39:55,616 DOG WHINES Come along, Buffy. 714 00:39:55,640 --> 00:39:57,936 Wait a minute, wait a minute. How do we know that it was Celador? 715 00:39:57,960 --> 00:39:59,936 That it was Paul Smith you spoke to? 716 00:39:59,960 --> 00:40:01,936 It was, I returned his call, on the number they left you... 717 00:40:01,960 --> 00:40:03,936 Yes, I know, but how do we know it's not a hoax. 718 00:40:03,960 --> 00:40:05,936 Someone in the community, taking the mickey. 719 00:40:05,960 --> 00:40:08,936 What...? Maybe that's what they do to everyone, everyone who wins. 720 00:40:08,960 --> 00:40:10,936 It's not a mickey-take, Diana. 721 00:40:10,960 --> 00:40:12,960 Well, it's a bit over the top, isn't it? 722 00:40:14,960 --> 00:40:17,776 Call it back again, that number. No. I'm not gonna call it. 723 00:40:17,800 --> 00:40:19,296 I want to hear it. No, I'm not gonna call it back. 724 00:40:19,320 --> 00:40:21,640 Then I'll do it. Diana! 725 00:40:22,960 --> 00:40:25,960 Hello. Erm, this is... Diana Ingram. 726 00:40:28,960 --> 00:40:31,936 Hello. Hi, erm, yes, we received a phone call 727 00:40:31,960 --> 00:40:34,936 from this number earlier and, well, it occurred to us 728 00:40:34,960 --> 00:40:37,136 that we didn't know whether it was real, or not. 729 00:40:37,160 --> 00:40:38,936 No, erm, no. 730 00:40:38,960 --> 00:40:40,936 No, I'm afraid it was real. 731 00:40:40,960 --> 00:40:42,976 This... This is Paul Smith. 732 00:40:43,000 --> 00:40:45,936 Yes, but how do we know? 733 00:40:45,960 --> 00:40:46,937 It could be a wind-up. Or the press. 734 00:40:46,961 --> 00:40:48,936 Erm... 735 00:40:48,960 --> 00:40:49,937 Well... 736 00:40:49,961 --> 00:40:51,776 Erm... O-OK. 737 00:40:51,800 --> 00:40:54,136 Erm, why don't you call back again 738 00:40:54,160 --> 00:40:56,936 and I won't answer this time, 739 00:40:56,960 --> 00:41:00,936 it'll take you through to my extension answering machine message. 740 00:41:00,960 --> 00:41:04,936 And you'll hear that this is me, and... and this is Celador. 741 00:41:04,960 --> 00:41:08,936 And that... that this is no wind-up, Mrs Ingram. 742 00:41:08,960 --> 00:41:09,960 OK. 743 00:41:19,800 --> 00:41:24,320 PHONE DIALS 744 00:41:26,000 --> 00:41:28,936 'Hello, you've reached Paul Smith at Celador. 745 00:41:28,960 --> 00:41:32,936 'Leave a message and I'll get back to you when I can, thanks.' 746 00:41:32,960 --> 00:41:34,960 MESSAGE TONE BEEPS 747 00:41:40,960 --> 00:41:42,936 HE CLEARS THROAT 748 00:41:42,960 --> 00:41:44,936 We're doing that press interview. 749 00:41:44,960 --> 00:41:47,960 You won that money. It's yours. So let's tell people. 750 00:42:02,960 --> 00:42:06,936 We'll need to make a statement. They're cheats! 751 00:42:06,960 --> 00:42:09,456 I just can't get my head round it. 752 00:42:09,480 --> 00:42:13,960 That terribly nice major, a criminal mastermind? Bollocks. 753 00:42:14,960 --> 00:42:16,936 You really didn't notice anything? 754 00:42:16,960 --> 00:42:19,136 Well I-I suppose you've a lot going on. 755 00:42:19,160 --> 00:42:21,456 Yeah, but I'd hope that I'd have done this enough 756 00:42:21,480 --> 00:42:23,936 to notice if someone is trying to steal a million quid 757 00:42:23,960 --> 00:42:25,160 two feet in front of me, Paul. 758 00:42:26,960 --> 00:42:29,616 You all right? 759 00:42:29,640 --> 00:42:30,960 You look ragged. 760 00:42:32,960 --> 00:42:34,960 I feel upset, actually. 761 00:42:36,960 --> 00:42:40,936 This... Well, this is our thing, it's our baby. 762 00:42:40,960 --> 00:42:43,456 No-one will dare try anything like this again 763 00:42:43,480 --> 00:42:45,160 after all this, don't you worry. 764 00:42:46,960 --> 00:42:49,936 Who the hell was coughing? 765 00:42:49,960 --> 00:42:51,936 So what I'm gonna show you is what we've edited together 766 00:42:51,960 --> 00:42:54,160 of the show so far from the different angles. 767 00:42:55,960 --> 00:42:57,296 Play VT. 768 00:42:57,320 --> 00:42:59,936 'Googol.' COUGHING 769 00:42:59,960 --> 00:43:00,937 That cough there, then. 770 00:43:00,961 --> 00:43:02,936 Can you ascertain where it came from? 771 00:43:02,960 --> 00:43:03,937 Not the individual, no, 772 00:43:03,961 --> 00:43:05,936 we don't mic up every audience member. 773 00:43:05,960 --> 00:43:07,936 But we've got different mic tracks 774 00:43:07,960 --> 00:43:09,936 covering different areas of the studio. 775 00:43:09,960 --> 00:43:10,937 Now that particular cough. 776 00:43:10,961 --> 00:43:13,960 That came from the Fastest Finger mic, stage right. 777 00:43:14,960 --> 00:43:17,936 Play tape C. 778 00:43:17,960 --> 00:43:19,960 One of these five, sat here. 779 00:43:43,160 --> 00:43:44,936 I'm Detective Sergeant Ferguson. 780 00:43:44,960 --> 00:43:46,936 Here's a warrant to enter your property. 781 00:43:46,960 --> 00:43:49,136 I should tell you, we're placing you both under arrest 782 00:43:49,160 --> 00:43:50,936 on suspicion of procuring the execution 783 00:43:50,960 --> 00:43:52,936 of a valuable security by deception. 784 00:43:52,960 --> 00:43:54,456 You do not have to say anything... 785 00:43:54,480 --> 00:43:58,936 'What you've been told so far in the case for the prosecution...' 786 00:43:58,960 --> 00:44:02,960 seems to make total sense, doesn't it? 787 00:44:03,960 --> 00:44:07,936 A man, who didn't particularly like quizzes, arrived on the show, 788 00:44:07,960 --> 00:44:11,296 behaved strangely and won a million. 789 00:44:11,320 --> 00:44:15,936 So something must be wrong. He must have cheated. Right? 790 00:44:15,960 --> 00:44:18,936 Your Fastest Finger First machine? You're not serious. 791 00:44:18,960 --> 00:44:19,937 Uh, it's in the garage. 792 00:44:19,961 --> 00:44:22,936 We'll also be wanting a draft copy of your book, Mrs Ingram. 793 00:44:22,960 --> 00:44:24,936 My book? I-I-I... It... It's not finished. 794 00:44:24,960 --> 00:44:27,616 I haven't even spell-checked it yet. 795 00:44:27,640 --> 00:44:28,936 And what about our children? 796 00:44:28,960 --> 00:44:30,936 A specially-trained officer can stay with them, 797 00:44:30,960 --> 00:44:32,936 while you both are... No. No. 798 00:44:32,960 --> 00:44:33,937 You are under arrest, Mrs Ingram. 799 00:44:33,961 --> 00:44:38,640 But what if I were to tell you that it's all utter nonsense? 800 00:44:39,800 --> 00:44:40,936 That the three defendants 801 00:44:40,960 --> 00:44:42,936 who allegedly concocted this elaborate conspiracy 802 00:44:42,960 --> 00:44:45,936 had never even met? 803 00:44:45,960 --> 00:44:49,936 Something that the prosecution does not dispute. 804 00:44:49,960 --> 00:44:51,936 That the so-called significant coughs 805 00:44:51,960 --> 00:44:56,936 are only 19 out of a 192 recorded throughout the night? 806 00:44:56,960 --> 00:45:02,456 Sometimes on the right answers, sometimes on the wrong answers. 807 00:45:02,480 --> 00:45:04,936 And that there is no way of knowing that any of them 808 00:45:04,960 --> 00:45:07,936 even came from Mr Whittock? 809 00:45:07,960 --> 00:45:09,936 Could it simply be 810 00:45:09,960 --> 00:45:13,960 that everyone on the show was waiting for an attack? 811 00:45:14,960 --> 00:45:17,776 For something strange to happen? 812 00:45:17,800 --> 00:45:19,776 And in walks Charles Ingram. 813 00:45:19,800 --> 00:45:23,936 A, yes, eccentric, but actually quite intelligent army major... 814 00:45:23,960 --> 00:45:26,936 and his fate was set. 815 00:45:26,960 --> 00:45:29,936 I put it to you, that this is, in fact, 816 00:45:29,960 --> 00:45:32,936 a series of horrible coincidences. 817 00:45:32,960 --> 00:45:35,040 And that Major Charles Ingram is completely innocent. 818 00:45:36,960 --> 00:45:39,936 Your honour, here is the case for the defence. 819 00:45:39,960 --> 00:45:43,960 HE COUGHS 61239

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