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1
00:00:01,080 --> 00:00:02,670
Anna-Kat: That's mine!
Taylor: It's just juice,
2
00:00:02,670 --> 00:00:03,920
chill out!
Mom!
3
00:00:03,920 --> 00:00:06,120
Taylor, undo whatever
you just did.
4
00:00:08,170 --> 00:00:11,290
Ewww. I can still see the drippy
from where she took a sip.
5
00:00:11,290 --> 00:00:12,830
[ Groans ]
6
00:00:12,830 --> 00:00:14,330
♪ Turn down for what? ♪
7
00:00:14,330 --> 00:00:17,670
♪♪
8
00:00:17,670 --> 00:00:19,290
♪ Turn down for what? ♪
9
00:00:19,290 --> 00:00:22,040
Answer your phone.
It's just a spam call.
10
00:00:22,040 --> 00:00:25,000
♪ Turn down for what? ♪
This ringtone is the best
decision that I ever made.
11
00:00:25,000 --> 00:00:27,460
You are never allowed
to do that again.
Someone could see.
12
00:00:27,460 --> 00:00:29,670
We're in the kitchen!
Who is going to see?
13
00:00:29,670 --> 00:00:32,830
God, Santa, satellites,
aliens, drones, Alexa --
14
00:00:32,830 --> 00:00:35,120
Don't be ashamed 'cause
your mom's got mad moves.
15
00:00:35,120 --> 00:00:37,830
I should jot this down
for my future therapist.
16
00:00:37,830 --> 00:00:39,830
This feels like
a significant moment.
17
00:00:39,830 --> 00:00:42,210
[ Dialing, ringing ]
18
00:00:42,210 --> 00:00:43,670
♪ Turn down for what? ♪
19
00:00:43,670 --> 00:00:47,000
♪♪
20
00:00:47,000 --> 00:00:48,330
♪ Turn down for what? ♪
21
00:00:48,330 --> 00:00:51,170
♪♪
22
00:00:51,170 --> 00:00:53,290
I can't.
Taylor, let's go.
23
00:00:53,290 --> 00:00:54,830
Drop me off
at a fire station.
24
00:00:54,830 --> 00:00:57,330
Hopefully a nice "This Is Us"
family will pick me up.
25
00:01:02,420 --> 00:01:04,210
[ Door closes ]
[ Dialing ]
26
00:01:04,210 --> 00:01:05,580
♪ Turn down for what? ♪
27
00:01:05,580 --> 00:01:06,580
♪♪
28
00:01:17,000 --> 00:01:19,000
Bye, Dad.
Oliver, come here.
29
00:01:19,000 --> 00:01:20,830
I want to show you a new coin
I got for my collection.
30
00:01:20,830 --> 00:01:23,170
Ugh. I should have just
pretended like I didn't see you.
31
00:01:23,170 --> 00:01:24,960
The Historical Guild gave it
to me when they named me
32
00:01:24,960 --> 00:01:26,500
General Beats
for tomorrow's reenactment.
33
00:01:26,500 --> 00:01:28,120
Yeah,
coins are super neat.
34
00:01:28,120 --> 00:01:31,080
Hmm. That came off a little less
sarcastic than I wanted.
35
00:01:31,080 --> 00:01:32,420
Let me do that again.
36
00:01:32,420 --> 00:01:34,710
Yeah,
coins are suuuuuper neat.
37
00:01:34,710 --> 00:01:36,830
There we go.
Just because
I'm interested in something
38
00:01:36,830 --> 00:01:38,290
doesn't mean you should
make fun of it.
39
00:01:38,290 --> 00:01:39,670
It's not so much
making fun
40
00:01:39,670 --> 00:01:42,670
as it is offering constructive
criticism in a hurtful manner.
41
00:01:42,670 --> 00:01:43,750
Thanks for the opportunity.
42
00:01:45,380 --> 00:01:49,500
♪♪
43
00:01:49,500 --> 00:01:51,830
Mom, where are you?!
Mom!!
44
00:01:51,830 --> 00:01:54,540
You are only allowed to scream
like that if you are bleeding
45
00:01:54,540 --> 00:01:56,000
or the ice-cream truck
is on our street.
46
00:01:56,000 --> 00:01:57,000
So, which is it?
47
00:01:57,000 --> 00:01:58,210
Taylor is a thief!
48
00:01:58,210 --> 00:01:59,500
What are you
talking about?
49
00:01:59,500 --> 00:02:01,880
This! This crop-top shirt
she's wearing
50
00:02:01,880 --> 00:02:05,500
is actually my regularly
cropped shirt!
51
00:02:05,500 --> 00:02:07,380
I let you leave
the house in that?
52
00:02:07,380 --> 00:02:08,880
No,
I wore a sweatshirt over it.
53
00:02:08,880 --> 00:02:11,250
I didn't want you to be upset
so early in the morning.
54
00:02:11,250 --> 00:02:13,420
You're welcome.
Ground her right now!
55
00:02:13,420 --> 00:02:15,080
Chill, Anna-Kat.
We're sisters.
56
00:02:15,080 --> 00:02:16,250
Sisters share clothes.
57
00:02:16,250 --> 00:02:17,920
We do not "share clothes."
58
00:02:17,920 --> 00:02:20,250
You steal my clothes
and stretch them out
59
00:02:20,250 --> 00:02:21,750
with things
I don't have yet.
60
00:02:21,750 --> 00:02:23,040
[ Scoffs ]
61
00:02:24,210 --> 00:02:26,040
You're letting her
just get away?!
62
00:02:26,040 --> 00:02:27,420
I demand justice!
63
00:02:27,420 --> 00:02:29,040
Just because Taylor
is bigger than you
64
00:02:29,040 --> 00:02:31,790
doesn't mean you can't
stand up for yourself.
65
00:02:31,790 --> 00:02:33,670
But can't you just --
66
00:02:33,670 --> 00:02:35,620
No! You've got to stop
seeing yourself
67
00:02:35,620 --> 00:02:36,920
as a powerless
little girl.
68
00:02:36,920 --> 00:02:38,880
You are a strong,
independent young woman
69
00:02:38,880 --> 00:02:41,670
who is fully capable
of fighting her own battles.
70
00:02:41,670 --> 00:02:42,670
You're right.
71
00:02:42,670 --> 00:02:44,210
Like Charlize Theron
in that movie
72
00:02:44,210 --> 00:02:45,830
you definitely
should not have shown me.
73
00:02:45,830 --> 00:02:47,670
"Monster."
74
00:02:47,670 --> 00:02:49,330
I thought
it was a monster movie.
75
00:02:50,620 --> 00:02:52,790
When I was bestowed the honor
of portraying General Beats
76
00:02:52,790 --> 00:02:54,750
in the Battle of Westport,
I knew I wanted only
77
00:02:54,750 --> 00:02:57,420
the bravest to join me
on the front line,
78
00:02:57,420 --> 00:03:00,000
and I'm thrilled you decided
to fight alongside me.
79
00:03:00,000 --> 00:03:01,080
No problem.
80
00:03:01,080 --> 00:03:02,290
With the extra credit
that I'm getting
81
00:03:02,290 --> 00:03:04,580
for participating,
my guidance counselor says
82
00:03:04,580 --> 00:03:08,170
graduation will be
"not an impossibility."
83
00:03:08,170 --> 00:03:09,750
Franklin: I'm not getting
extra credit for this.
84
00:03:09,750 --> 00:03:11,420
Dr. Ellie loves
when I go on field trips
85
00:03:11,420 --> 00:03:13,290
'cause apparently
I can be a bit much.
86
00:03:13,290 --> 00:03:16,170
Let's get things started
before I have any regrets.
87
00:03:16,170 --> 00:03:19,250
Lonnie, you will be
Sergeant Gus Johnson,
88
00:03:19,250 --> 00:03:20,670
General Beats's
right-hand man
89
00:03:20,670 --> 00:03:23,000
and an ancestor to a long line
of famous Johnsons.
90
00:03:23,000 --> 00:03:24,330
Andrew Johnson
was among them.
91
00:03:24,330 --> 00:03:25,960
[ Laughs ]
92
00:03:25,960 --> 00:03:27,120
You said famous Johnson.
93
00:03:27,120 --> 00:03:28,540
I know you don't take
anything seriously,
94
00:03:28,540 --> 00:03:30,170
but just so we're clear,
95
00:03:30,170 --> 00:03:33,000
this reenactment is all based
on historical events,
96
00:03:33,000 --> 00:03:34,920
so there will be
no pranks of any kind.
97
00:03:34,920 --> 00:03:36,000
I would never.
98
00:03:36,920 --> 00:03:38,250
Well, I promise!
99
00:03:38,250 --> 00:03:40,330
The battlefield
will be an NPZB.
100
00:03:41,290 --> 00:03:42,540
No Prank Zone, Bro.
101
00:03:45,000 --> 00:03:46,420
No pranks necessary.
102
00:03:46,420 --> 00:03:48,000
I'm secretly filming this
for another episode
103
00:03:48,000 --> 00:03:51,710
of "Professor Badonkadonk."
NPZBPYP.
104
00:03:51,710 --> 00:03:54,880
No Prank Zone, Bro.
Psych! Yes, Pranks! Ha!
105
00:03:54,880 --> 00:03:57,670
Trip, Franklin, you will be
playing the Hudson brothers,
106
00:03:57,670 --> 00:04:00,000
the two young artillery officers
who led the troops
107
00:04:00,000 --> 00:04:02,620
after General Beats
was hanged by the Redcoats.
108
00:04:02,620 --> 00:04:05,920
Wait, you die?
Yes, but not before delivering
my historic last words --
109
00:04:05,920 --> 00:04:08,080
"May my death serve as
an inspiration
110
00:04:08,080 --> 00:04:10,540
to the sons and daughters
of the revolution.
111
00:04:10,540 --> 00:04:11,830
Now and forever more."
112
00:04:11,830 --> 00:04:13,830
Are you sure you want to go
through with this, Mr. A?
113
00:04:13,830 --> 00:04:17,330
It's just pretend, Trip.
I'm not actually going to die.
114
00:04:17,330 --> 00:04:19,330
It's important
you remember that.
115
00:04:19,330 --> 00:04:20,580
Okay.
Good.
116
00:04:21,790 --> 00:04:23,500
This is great.
You and I are brothers.
117
00:04:23,500 --> 00:04:25,080
My mom tried to get me
a brother one time,
118
00:04:25,080 --> 00:04:26,830
but security at the mall
was very tight.
119
00:04:26,830 --> 00:04:29,000
[ Chuckles ]
120
00:04:29,000 --> 00:04:30,880
Alright, men.
Tomorrow, we fight.
121
00:04:30,880 --> 00:04:32,120
Tonight, we feast!
122
00:04:32,120 --> 00:04:33,830
Dairy Queen?
Sure.
123
00:04:33,830 --> 00:04:35,830
So, Trip,
what's your favorite color?
124
00:04:35,830 --> 00:04:37,000
What's your shoe size?
125
00:04:37,000 --> 00:04:38,920
Do you think there's regret
in the afterlife?
126
00:04:38,920 --> 00:04:39,960
Uh...
Take your time.
127
00:04:39,960 --> 00:04:41,500
I know the color one's
hard.
128
00:04:41,500 --> 00:04:43,330
Hey, amigos.
129
00:04:43,330 --> 00:04:44,500
What's going on?
130
00:04:44,500 --> 00:04:46,880
Right now, not much,
but in about 15 minutes,
131
00:04:46,880 --> 00:04:49,500
I'mma see if I can fit five
burgers in my mouth at once.
132
00:04:49,500 --> 00:04:52,750
Spoiler -- I can.
[ Chuckles ]
133
00:04:52,750 --> 00:04:55,000
I'm taking my troop out
for a final meal before battle.
134
00:04:55,000 --> 00:04:56,830
Your troop?
Yeah. I invited Lonnie,
135
00:04:56,830 --> 00:04:59,210
Trip, and Franklin
to do the reenactment.
136
00:04:59,210 --> 00:05:01,080
Don't worry.
You're off the hook.
137
00:05:01,080 --> 00:05:02,420
I'm not asking you
to join.
138
00:05:02,420 --> 00:05:04,670
Cool. Have fun
at your little dress-up show.
139
00:05:04,670 --> 00:05:07,250
It's a big dress-up show,
and you know it.
140
00:05:09,500 --> 00:05:10,920
You see what he's trying
to do, right?
141
00:05:10,920 --> 00:05:12,170
Feed a large group
on a budget?
142
00:05:12,170 --> 00:05:14,670
No. He thinks by inviting them
instead of me,
143
00:05:14,670 --> 00:05:16,790
I'm gonna beg to be
in his little brigade.
144
00:05:16,790 --> 00:05:18,330
But he's got
another thing coming.
145
00:05:18,330 --> 00:05:20,540
I'm gonna teach him a lesson
about teaching lessons.
146
00:05:20,540 --> 00:05:22,790
Hey, do your evil smile,
for old times' sake.
147
00:05:22,790 --> 00:05:24,790
[ Ominous chord plays ]
148
00:05:24,790 --> 00:05:26,170
There's my guy.
149
00:05:26,170 --> 00:05:28,500
♪♪
150
00:05:28,500 --> 00:05:31,170
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
151
00:05:31,170 --> 00:05:33,250
Bleeding or ice-cream truck --
which is it?
152
00:05:33,250 --> 00:05:35,750
This was my favorite shirt,
and it's been cut in half!
153
00:05:35,750 --> 00:05:37,330
[ Sighs ] Anna-Kat!
154
00:05:38,750 --> 00:05:40,580
'Sup?
Did you do this
to my shirt?!
155
00:05:40,580 --> 00:05:41,790
I sure did.
156
00:05:41,790 --> 00:05:43,670
Since you had to wear my shirt
as a crop top,
157
00:05:43,670 --> 00:05:45,880
I decided to just give you
one of your own.
158
00:05:45,880 --> 00:05:48,500
And I will do so every time
you wear one of my shirts.
159
00:05:48,500 --> 00:05:51,330
Got it?
I'm never touching your clothes
again, you little psycho!
160
00:05:52,330 --> 00:05:53,500
Mom!
161
00:05:53,500 --> 00:05:55,880
Anna-Kat, I want to talk
to you in the hall.
162
00:05:55,880 --> 00:05:57,000
Now.
163
00:06:00,580 --> 00:06:02,790
Anna-Kat, you can never
do that again!
164
00:06:02,790 --> 00:06:04,080
[ Whispering ]
That was brilliant.
165
00:06:04,080 --> 00:06:06,080
[ Normal voice ]
Destroying property is not okay!
166
00:06:06,080 --> 00:06:07,250
[ Whispering ]
Never prouder.
167
00:06:07,250 --> 00:06:09,500
[ Normal voice ]
You are in huge trouble!
168
00:06:09,500 --> 00:06:10,920
[ Whispering ] Like,
I could cry right now.
169
00:06:11,830 --> 00:06:13,880
[ Laughs ]
170
00:06:13,880 --> 00:06:18,580
♪♪
171
00:06:18,580 --> 00:06:23,080
Today we fight not only
for our independence,
172
00:06:23,080 --> 00:06:25,080
but also for Mother Earth!
173
00:06:25,080 --> 00:06:27,960
And so, on this Earth Day,
we honor her
174
00:06:27,960 --> 00:06:31,290
by painting the fields red
with the blood of our enemies!
175
00:06:31,290 --> 00:06:33,080
[ Cheering ]
176
00:06:33,080 --> 00:06:34,880
But, seriously, the recycle bins
are placed throughout,
177
00:06:34,880 --> 00:06:36,540
so let's leave the park
cleaner than we found it.
178
00:06:36,540 --> 00:06:37,330
-Yeah!
-Yeah.
179
00:06:37,330 --> 00:06:38,380
-You got it.
-Cool.
180
00:06:38,380 --> 00:06:41,000
That includes
fingernail clippings, Dane.
181
00:06:41,000 --> 00:06:42,420
I beat a meth addiction,
Ross.
182
00:06:42,420 --> 00:06:45,170
I'm sorry if I have
a little nervous energy.
183
00:06:45,170 --> 00:06:47,540
Look not upon these men
with friendly eye,
184
00:06:47,540 --> 00:06:49,580
for soon they shall be foe.
185
00:06:51,620 --> 00:06:53,500
Bad guys.
Oh.
186
00:06:55,080 --> 00:06:56,830
Oliver?
187
00:06:56,830 --> 00:06:58,170
He joined the British.
188
00:07:00,710 --> 00:07:02,290
I can't believe it.
189
00:07:02,290 --> 00:07:03,830
My son has become my enemy.
190
00:07:03,830 --> 00:07:06,500
Ooh.
191
00:07:06,500 --> 00:07:08,960
Can you say that again
a little louder
192
00:07:08,960 --> 00:07:12,290
with more feeling,
towards that bush?
193
00:07:12,290 --> 00:07:13,500
Thanks.
Uh...
194
00:07:13,500 --> 00:07:15,540
♪♪
195
00:07:18,960 --> 00:07:20,460
♪♪
196
00:07:20,460 --> 00:07:22,000
I can't believe Oliver
joined the Redcoats.
197
00:07:22,000 --> 00:07:23,500
It's the ultimate
betrayal.
198
00:07:23,500 --> 00:07:26,540
Nah. You want to know what
the ultimate betrayal is?
199
00:07:26,540 --> 00:07:28,330
Domestic-animal
abandonment.
200
00:07:30,620 --> 00:07:33,080
Shout-out to our sponsors,
Pet Pals of America.
201
00:07:33,080 --> 00:07:35,210
Who's saving who?
202
00:07:35,210 --> 00:07:36,710
You got to face
your son.
203
00:07:36,710 --> 00:07:37,880
You're right.
204
00:07:37,880 --> 00:07:39,420
Beats was a man
who took action.
205
00:07:39,420 --> 00:07:41,040
It's time Greg Otto
did the same.
206
00:07:42,250 --> 00:07:44,330
Badonkadonk incoming.
Do not miss this!
207
00:07:44,330 --> 00:07:46,670
Zoom in for the tears,
then rack it back for dat ass!
208
00:07:51,420 --> 00:07:53,830
Okay. According to Mr. Otto,
the Hudson brothers
209
00:07:53,830 --> 00:07:55,750
just sit in this tent and guard
the cannonballs for battle.
210
00:07:55,750 --> 00:07:57,500
But they're just
spray-painted softballs
211
00:07:57,500 --> 00:07:59,210
and we're pretending
they're cannonballs, right?
212
00:07:59,210 --> 00:08:02,330
If you were my age, we'd be the
kings of my special-ed class.
213
00:08:03,250 --> 00:08:06,210
So, Brother Hudson,
are you afraid of heights?
214
00:08:06,210 --> 00:08:07,580
No.
215
00:08:07,580 --> 00:08:09,500
Have you ever been
to a roller-skating party?
216
00:08:09,500 --> 00:08:10,500
Yep.
217
00:08:10,500 --> 00:08:12,710
When/how do you
feel most loved?
218
00:08:12,710 --> 00:08:14,330
Can we have some quiet time,
please?
219
00:08:14,330 --> 00:08:15,670
Okay.
220
00:08:17,790 --> 00:08:19,210
How are you enjoying
your quiet time?
221
00:08:19,210 --> 00:08:20,540
[ Groans ]
222
00:08:20,540 --> 00:08:26,000
♪♪
223
00:08:26,000 --> 00:08:27,250
What are you doing here?
224
00:08:27,250 --> 00:08:29,000
Oh, I thought
the reenactment sounded fun,
225
00:08:29,000 --> 00:08:31,000
so I recruited Cooper
and here we are.
226
00:08:31,000 --> 00:08:32,830
And I love the uniform.
227
00:08:32,830 --> 00:08:35,290
Could it use a few
Tom Ford touches? Sure.
228
00:08:35,290 --> 00:08:37,290
There's no way you thought
this sounded fun, Oliver.
229
00:08:37,290 --> 00:08:38,330
Oh, you wouldn't know
what I thought
230
00:08:38,330 --> 00:08:39,620
because you didn't
invite me.
231
00:08:39,620 --> 00:08:41,830
You invited Trip,
Franklin, and Lonnie.
232
00:08:41,830 --> 00:08:44,540
I invited them because they
don't mock me like you do.
233
00:08:44,540 --> 00:08:45,750
Whenever I share
an interest,
234
00:08:45,750 --> 00:08:47,170
I can count on you
to make fun of it.
235
00:08:47,170 --> 00:08:49,250
And this reenactment
is a big deal for me,
236
00:08:49,250 --> 00:08:52,330
so why would I want
to be around you for it?
237
00:08:52,330 --> 00:08:54,500
You don't have to be!
I'm a Redcoat!
238
00:08:54,500 --> 00:08:56,250
And this time,
we're gonna win!
239
00:08:56,250 --> 00:08:58,040
That's not how it works,
man.
240
00:08:58,040 --> 00:09:01,380
Just for that, I'm canceling
the Boston Tea Party.
241
00:09:01,380 --> 00:09:03,210
It already happened.
242
00:09:03,210 --> 00:09:06,790
These guys are so lame.
243
00:09:06,790 --> 00:09:08,620
Principal Ablin: I hate to call
you in during my lunch hour.
244
00:09:08,620 --> 00:09:10,460
I don't mind.
I do.
245
00:09:10,460 --> 00:09:12,330
I called you down here
because Anna-Kat
246
00:09:12,330 --> 00:09:14,000
has been very disruptive
in class
247
00:09:14,000 --> 00:09:15,880
and is refusing
to listen to authority.
248
00:09:18,250 --> 00:09:21,040
Anna-Kat, we don't eat
our snacks for another hour.
249
00:09:21,040 --> 00:09:23,540
Sucks for you guys.
250
00:09:23,540 --> 00:09:25,830
Have you tried
talking to her?
Of course.
251
00:09:25,830 --> 00:09:27,830
We even brought up the prospect
of silent lunch,
252
00:09:27,830 --> 00:09:29,460
but she said she's
a powerful woman
253
00:09:29,460 --> 00:09:30,920
who will not
let her voice be stifled.
254
00:09:30,920 --> 00:09:33,580
Kind of hard to argue with that,
seeing as I'm a cisgender
255
00:09:33,580 --> 00:09:35,670
straight man marinating
in white privilege.
256
00:09:35,670 --> 00:09:37,380
The district had me take
an online seminar,
257
00:09:37,380 --> 00:09:39,620
so I'm both woke
and duly chastened.
258
00:09:39,620 --> 00:09:41,170
I know what's going on.
259
00:09:41,170 --> 00:09:43,540
I taught Anna-Kat a lesson
about standing up for herself,
260
00:09:43,540 --> 00:09:45,790
and it may have gotten
a little out of hand.
261
00:09:45,790 --> 00:09:47,500
I'll take care of it.
Thanks.
262
00:09:47,500 --> 00:09:49,710
By the way, I like what
you've done with your hair,
263
00:09:49,710 --> 00:09:51,170
not that I was looking
at your hair.
264
00:09:52,330 --> 00:09:53,500
I'm going
to go self-report.
265
00:09:58,920 --> 00:10:01,830
We cool?
No, we not cool.
266
00:10:01,830 --> 00:10:03,920
Look, I'm proud of you
for standing up
267
00:10:03,920 --> 00:10:06,500
for what you want,
but you have to obey the rules.
268
00:10:06,500 --> 00:10:08,380
Nah. I'm done letting people
walk all over me.
269
00:10:08,380 --> 00:10:09,670
Well, I'm your mother,
270
00:10:09,670 --> 00:10:11,460
and you have to listen
to what I say.
271
00:10:11,460 --> 00:10:12,620
Just because
you're bigger than me
272
00:10:12,620 --> 00:10:14,330
doesn't mean
I can't stand up to you.
273
00:10:14,330 --> 00:10:16,670
[ Chuckles ] No, no, no.
274
00:10:16,670 --> 00:10:18,500
We're not playing
that game.
275
00:10:18,500 --> 00:10:23,710
Do as I say
or no more bedtime tuck-ins.
276
00:10:23,710 --> 00:10:25,330
That's fine.
I'll put myself to bed.
277
00:10:26,420 --> 00:10:27,710
Okay.
You're grounded.
278
00:10:27,710 --> 00:10:30,000
Watch me as I clear
my social calendar.
279
00:10:30,830 --> 00:10:32,790
Beep, boop, beep!
All done.
280
00:10:32,790 --> 00:10:34,040
See you at home.
281
00:10:35,670 --> 00:10:37,170
No more Taco Tuesday!
282
00:10:37,170 --> 00:10:39,120
Anna-Kat:
Bored with it!
[ Gasps ]
283
00:10:40,290 --> 00:10:41,670
Man: Alright, men.
284
00:10:41,670 --> 00:10:44,170
Ready?
285
00:10:44,170 --> 00:10:45,460
Ready?
286
00:10:46,710 --> 00:10:48,380
Fire!
Together: Bang!
287
00:10:48,380 --> 00:10:50,330
Reload!
288
00:10:50,330 --> 00:10:51,880
You know, it's one thing,
Oliver making fun of me.
289
00:10:51,880 --> 00:10:53,000
I can handle
being made fun of.
290
00:10:53,000 --> 00:10:54,670
Yeah.
I mean, look at you.
Bang!
291
00:10:54,670 --> 00:10:55,960
You're wearing pantyhose
and a blouse.
292
00:10:55,960 --> 00:10:57,750
Exactly. Fire!
293
00:10:57,750 --> 00:10:58,830
Bang!
294
00:10:58,830 --> 00:11:00,120
Reload!
295
00:11:01,540 --> 00:11:03,460
Bang!
But showing up here to --
to what?
296
00:11:03,460 --> 00:11:05,620
To spite me, to mock me
in front of my soldiers?
297
00:11:05,620 --> 00:11:06,880
It's just disrespectful.
298
00:11:06,880 --> 00:11:08,830
General,
your tent has been hit.
Bang!
299
00:11:08,830 --> 00:11:10,710
What?! All my battle plans
were in there!
300
00:11:10,710 --> 00:11:13,290
And the pocket-sized painting
of my hot colonial wife.
301
00:11:13,290 --> 00:11:14,920
And my leprechaun.
Together: Bang!
302
00:11:14,920 --> 00:11:16,380
Me having a leprechaun
is just as likely
303
00:11:16,380 --> 00:11:17,460
as you
having a hot wife.
304
00:11:17,460 --> 00:11:19,250
Tell your three cats
I say hi.
305
00:11:19,250 --> 00:11:20,880
Oh, the three cats
you beg
306
00:11:20,880 --> 00:11:23,460
to babysit every time
I go out of town?
307
00:11:23,460 --> 00:11:25,000
Man: Hold the line!
308
00:11:25,000 --> 00:11:26,330
Get ahold of yourselves.
309
00:11:26,330 --> 00:11:28,540
This war
is tearing us apart.
310
00:11:28,540 --> 00:11:29,580
Fire!
311
00:11:29,580 --> 00:11:31,500
Together: Bang!
Hold the line, men!
312
00:11:31,500 --> 00:11:34,250
Look alive, team!
The Caboose is loose!
313
00:11:34,250 --> 00:11:39,040
♪♪
314
00:11:39,040 --> 00:11:41,710
Dear God.
The devastation.
315
00:11:43,000 --> 00:11:44,120
I'd like to share
this moment with you,
316
00:11:44,120 --> 00:11:45,670
but I have no idea
what this means.
317
00:11:45,670 --> 00:11:47,620
The Redcoats shot a cannon,
blew up the tent.
318
00:11:47,620 --> 00:11:49,880
Everything's destroyed.
Got it.
319
00:11:49,880 --> 00:11:53,620
Dear God.
The devastation.
320
00:11:53,620 --> 00:11:57,080
♪♪
321
00:11:57,080 --> 00:11:58,500
Oliver.
322
00:11:58,500 --> 00:11:59,830
Historically,
this never happened.
323
00:11:59,830 --> 00:12:01,750
He's going out of his way
to ruin my day.
324
00:12:01,750 --> 00:12:03,830
I can't believe
all our provisions are gone.
325
00:12:03,830 --> 00:12:05,290
Yo, time-out.
326
00:12:05,290 --> 00:12:06,920
I'm just gonna sneak in,
I'mma snag my Pop-Tarts.
327
00:12:06,920 --> 00:12:08,080
There are no time-outs.
328
00:12:08,080 --> 00:12:09,460
We're in the middle
of a battle, soldier.
329
00:12:09,460 --> 00:12:10,540
This is real!
330
00:12:10,540 --> 00:12:12,120
Man: Should be fine.
331
00:12:12,120 --> 00:12:14,580
Do you think
they can save it?!
332
00:12:14,580 --> 00:12:15,830
[ Chuckles ]
333
00:12:15,830 --> 00:12:17,250
That was unfortunate
timing.
334
00:12:17,250 --> 00:12:20,040
♪♪
335
00:12:20,040 --> 00:12:21,880
And who was
your 3rd-grade teacher?
336
00:12:21,880 --> 00:12:23,830
Mr. Barney.
And who was
your 4th-grade teacher?
337
00:12:23,830 --> 00:12:25,170
Mrs. Anderson.
338
00:12:25,170 --> 00:12:27,250
And what would you describe
as your lowest moment?
339
00:12:27,250 --> 00:12:29,380
This!
This right now!
340
00:12:29,380 --> 00:12:31,120
Here! Please kill me
with this cannonball
341
00:12:31,120 --> 00:12:32,920
so I don't have to hear
one more question!
342
00:12:32,920 --> 00:12:35,210
I had no idea
that's how you felt.
343
00:12:35,210 --> 00:12:37,120
Because that's the one question
you never asked me.
344
00:12:37,120 --> 00:12:39,170
Well, if that's the case,
you shouldn't have to die.
345
00:12:39,170 --> 00:12:40,170
I will.
346
00:12:40,170 --> 00:12:42,040
I wish mall security
would've stopped you
347
00:12:42,040 --> 00:12:43,380
from being my brother,
too.
348
00:12:45,500 --> 00:12:48,670
Aw, Franklin. Come on.
I didn't mean it!
349
00:12:48,670 --> 00:12:50,790
I'll answer your questions!
350
00:12:50,790 --> 00:12:54,710
My favorite color is...
351
00:12:54,710 --> 00:12:55,790
It is a hard question,
352
00:12:55,790 --> 00:12:57,920
but the answer is
it depends on my mood!
353
00:12:57,920 --> 00:12:59,250
Franklin!
354
00:12:59,250 --> 00:13:04,000
♪♪
355
00:13:04,000 --> 00:13:05,460
I'm completely powerless.
356
00:13:05,460 --> 00:13:07,710
I have no more leverage
over Anna-Kat.
357
00:13:07,710 --> 00:13:09,500
Why don't you try
that healing stone I gave you?
358
00:13:09,500 --> 00:13:11,170
It can be very calming.
359
00:13:11,170 --> 00:13:13,040
Did you charge it in the last
full moon like I told you?
360
00:13:13,040 --> 00:13:15,000
If you charge it by throwing it
out the car window,
361
00:13:15,000 --> 00:13:17,330
then, yes,
it's fully charged.
362
00:13:17,330 --> 00:13:19,170
I don't know what else
to do with her.
363
00:13:19,170 --> 00:13:20,670
I've pulled out
all the stops.
364
00:13:20,670 --> 00:13:22,080
Have you really pulled out
all of them --
365
00:13:22,080 --> 00:13:24,750
guilt, threats,
denying her basic necessities?
366
00:13:24,750 --> 00:13:25,880
Of course!
367
00:13:25,880 --> 00:13:27,170
Well, what about
public shaming --
368
00:13:27,170 --> 00:13:29,540
watching the embarrassment
wash over their faces
369
00:13:29,540 --> 00:13:31,330
as they
blink back tears?
370
00:13:31,330 --> 00:13:32,420
So fun.
371
00:13:32,420 --> 00:13:34,960
Shaming.
How could I forget that?
372
00:13:34,960 --> 00:13:37,250
So simple but so effective.
373
00:13:37,250 --> 00:13:38,830
I used it on
Taylor and Oliver,
374
00:13:38,830 --> 00:13:41,080
but the third kid always
falls through the cracks.
375
00:13:41,080 --> 00:13:43,500
It's why Anna-Kat still
doesn't know how to ride a bike.
376
00:13:43,500 --> 00:13:44,960
She doesn't know
how to ride a bike?
377
00:13:44,960 --> 00:13:46,710
[ Chuckles ] That's not falling
through the cracks,
378
00:13:46,710 --> 00:13:48,330
that's you being a --
379
00:13:48,330 --> 00:13:50,380
So loving that she fell
through the cracks.
380
00:13:50,380 --> 00:13:53,920
♪♪
381
00:13:53,920 --> 00:13:55,790
How are you feeling,
General?
382
00:13:55,790 --> 00:13:57,790
I'd like to think I'm feeling
quite a bit like Beats felt --
383
00:13:57,790 --> 00:13:59,040
he, a British national,
384
00:13:59,040 --> 00:14:00,670
fighting for the Americans
against his brethren,
385
00:14:00,670 --> 00:14:03,170
me, a father,
fighting against my own son.
386
00:14:03,170 --> 00:14:04,580
Lieutenant Maddox!
387
00:14:04,580 --> 00:14:07,790
[ Shivering ] I f-feel cold.
A-Are you there?
388
00:14:07,790 --> 00:14:10,670
I'm here. I'm here.
Don't you leave me, damn it!
389
00:14:11,540 --> 00:14:14,250
[ Normal voice ] Really? The one
thing I asked you not to do.
390
00:14:14,250 --> 00:14:15,380
Stay calm, Lieutenant.
391
00:14:15,380 --> 00:14:16,580
Let's get you
to the medical tent.
392
00:14:16,580 --> 00:14:18,620
Come on.
[ Grunts ]
393
00:14:18,620 --> 00:14:25,960
♪♪
394
00:14:25,960 --> 00:14:28,250
Can you believe my dad said
he didn't want me around?
395
00:14:28,250 --> 00:14:29,670
Are you actually
asking me?
396
00:14:29,670 --> 00:14:32,080
'Cause if you're asking me,
I'm going to tell you the truth.
397
00:14:32,080 --> 00:14:34,500
I'm asking.
Then, yes,
I can believe he said that.
398
00:14:34,500 --> 00:14:36,960
You can be a complete
and total jerk to him sometimes.
399
00:14:36,960 --> 00:14:40,170
Hey!
Do you have any idea
how lucky you are?
400
00:14:40,170 --> 00:14:42,960
My dad's somewhere
on the Aegean Sea right now.
401
00:14:42,960 --> 00:14:44,380
That's all he told me.
402
00:14:44,380 --> 00:14:47,580
It's like...can't a guy get some
coordinates or something?
403
00:14:47,580 --> 00:14:50,880
And all your dad wants to do
is share his interests with you,
404
00:14:50,880 --> 00:14:54,120
but you're too busy crapping
all over him to notice.
405
00:14:55,330 --> 00:14:56,960
Where you going?
406
00:14:56,960 --> 00:14:58,500
I'm switching sides.
407
00:14:58,500 --> 00:15:00,500
Your dad's a general
worth fighting for.
408
00:15:00,500 --> 00:15:04,170
♪♪
409
00:15:04,170 --> 00:15:05,330
Yellow fever.
410
00:15:05,330 --> 00:15:07,540
I hate it here.
411
00:15:11,500 --> 00:15:13,710
Franklin!
412
00:15:13,710 --> 00:15:15,500
Franklin, where are you?!
413
00:15:15,500 --> 00:15:17,000
Over here.
414
00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:19,170
Franklin!
Oh, God, you've been shot.
415
00:15:19,170 --> 00:15:20,330
This is all my fault.
416
00:15:22,420 --> 00:15:24,170
Oh, no.
Gangrene's setting in.
417
00:15:24,170 --> 00:15:25,500
I have to get you
out of here.
Too late.
418
00:15:25,500 --> 00:15:26,620
The British are coming.
419
00:15:26,620 --> 00:15:29,330
[ Footsteps approaching ]
420
00:15:30,710 --> 00:15:32,210
Not my brother!
421
00:15:32,210 --> 00:15:33,210
Together: Bang!
422
00:15:33,210 --> 00:15:37,960
♪♪
423
00:15:37,960 --> 00:15:39,380
You die.
424
00:15:41,750 --> 00:15:43,170
You saved my life.
425
00:15:43,170 --> 00:15:45,170
This kind of bravery
is exactly why I chose you
426
00:15:45,170 --> 00:15:46,460
for my "Hero" paper.
427
00:15:48,330 --> 00:15:49,920
Wait. Are you really writing
your paper on me?
428
00:15:49,920 --> 00:15:52,540
Yeah. That's why I had
to ask you so many questions.
429
00:15:52,540 --> 00:15:54,000
But why me?
Easy.
430
00:15:54,000 --> 00:15:56,540
We read at the same level,
we have the same taste in girls,
431
00:15:56,540 --> 00:15:58,380
and you're the nicest person
I know.
432
00:15:58,380 --> 00:15:59,880
Isn't that what being
a hero's all about?
433
00:16:01,880 --> 00:16:04,000
I'm sorry for yelling
at you earlier.
434
00:16:04,000 --> 00:16:05,790
That was definitely
not heroic.
435
00:16:05,790 --> 00:16:07,750
No, but we're
the Hudson brothers.
436
00:16:07,750 --> 00:16:08,790
We're all we got.
437
00:16:08,790 --> 00:16:10,210
Mom died
during childbirth,
438
00:16:10,210 --> 00:16:12,380
and Dad ran off
with a fur trapper.
439
00:16:12,380 --> 00:16:13,750
I made up a backstory.
440
00:16:13,750 --> 00:16:15,330
[ Chuckles ]
441
00:16:15,330 --> 00:16:18,080
Fake brother or not,
I'm here for you.
442
00:16:18,080 --> 00:16:21,460
Thanks. So, as my big brother,
can you take me to the medic?
443
00:16:21,460 --> 00:16:24,040
Yeah. Let's get
that gunshot wound cleaned up.
444
00:16:24,040 --> 00:16:27,000
No, the real medic.
I'm allergic to sticker glue.
445
00:16:27,000 --> 00:16:28,880
♪♪
446
00:16:29,960 --> 00:16:32,540
[ DJ Snake & Lil Jon's
"Turn Down for What" plays ]
447
00:16:32,540 --> 00:16:34,000
♪ Turn down for what? ♪
448
00:16:34,000 --> 00:16:37,420
♪♪
449
00:16:37,420 --> 00:16:39,000
♪ Turn down for what? ♪
450
00:16:39,000 --> 00:16:41,830
♪♪
451
00:16:41,830 --> 00:16:42,920
What are you doing?!
♪ Turn down for what? ♪
452
00:16:42,920 --> 00:16:44,540
Getting into the groove.
453
00:16:44,540 --> 00:16:46,620
And when that bell
rings and this hallway
fills up with kids...
454
00:16:46,620 --> 00:16:50,000
♪ Turn down for what? ♪
...I will be fully
turning down for what.
455
00:16:50,000 --> 00:16:53,120
Please! I'm begging you,
do not dance!
456
00:16:53,120 --> 00:16:55,000
[ Music stops ]
457
00:16:55,000 --> 00:16:58,920
I won't as long as you realize
being a powerful young woman
458
00:16:58,920 --> 00:17:01,330
means speaking up
when you've been wronged.
459
00:17:01,330 --> 00:17:05,210
It doesn't mean doing whatever
you want whenever you want.
460
00:17:05,210 --> 00:17:07,330
Got it?
Got it.
I'll obey the rules.
461
00:17:07,330 --> 00:17:08,750
Just put
the dish towel away.
462
00:17:08,750 --> 00:17:10,500
Don't test me,
because one misstep
463
00:17:10,500 --> 00:17:12,830
and I'll be cutting a rug
at school, graduation,
464
00:17:12,830 --> 00:17:14,330
your work Christmas party.
465
00:17:14,330 --> 00:17:17,290
I have this power...
forever.
466
00:17:17,290 --> 00:17:18,670
I'll behave.
I promise.
467
00:17:18,670 --> 00:17:21,620
Good! Now you get back in class
and learn how to add.
468
00:17:21,620 --> 00:17:24,210
I'm in 5th grade.
We're multiplying fractions.
469
00:17:25,290 --> 00:17:26,960
We're adding.
We're adding.
470
00:17:26,960 --> 00:17:30,920
♪♪
471
00:17:30,920 --> 00:17:34,380
Here is about to be hanged
General Beats,
472
00:17:34,380 --> 00:17:38,080
a traitor
to the English crown.
473
00:17:38,080 --> 00:17:40,670
Would anyone like to speak
on this man's behalf?
474
00:17:40,670 --> 00:17:42,120
Oliver: I would.
475
00:17:42,120 --> 00:17:49,710
♪♪
476
00:17:49,710 --> 00:17:52,540
I have a duty
to clear my conscience.
477
00:17:52,540 --> 00:17:55,500
I have been insubordinate
to the General,
478
00:17:55,500 --> 00:17:57,330
and I was wrong
to take for granted
479
00:17:57,330 --> 00:18:00,830
what a caring
and gracious leader he is.
480
00:18:00,830 --> 00:18:02,750
His life should be spared
so that I can spend
481
00:18:02,750 --> 00:18:05,750
the rest of mine showing him
how much he means to me.
482
00:18:05,750 --> 00:18:10,540
♪♪
483
00:18:10,540 --> 00:18:14,250
I did that, muchacho.
That was me.
484
00:18:14,250 --> 00:18:15,920
Thank you, Oliver.
485
00:18:15,920 --> 00:18:17,670
But I still have to die
to inspire my men
486
00:18:17,670 --> 00:18:19,750
to fight
and win the battle.
487
00:18:19,750 --> 00:18:20,920
Traitor!
488
00:18:20,920 --> 00:18:23,330
♪♪
489
00:18:23,330 --> 00:18:24,920
I really appreciate
what you said,
490
00:18:24,920 --> 00:18:26,620
and it means the world to me
that you're here,
491
00:18:26,620 --> 00:18:27,620
no matter
how it happened.
492
00:18:27,620 --> 00:18:28,710
I love you, Dad.
493
00:18:28,710 --> 00:18:30,040
I love you, too, son.
494
00:18:31,750 --> 00:18:33,960
Wow.
495
00:18:33,960 --> 00:18:35,290
That was a nice moment.
496
00:18:40,000 --> 00:18:41,330
Let's stop rolling,
guys.
497
00:18:41,330 --> 00:18:43,500
We shouldn't be making fun
of Professor Badonkadonk.
498
00:18:43,500 --> 00:18:44,750
No, no, no, no.
499
00:18:44,750 --> 00:18:47,830
We absolutely should,
just...not about this.
500
00:18:47,830 --> 00:18:49,170
Let's pack it in,
501
00:18:49,170 --> 00:18:51,250
like Beats packs it
into his pleated khakis.
502
00:18:53,210 --> 00:18:54,330
[ Clears throat ]
503
00:18:54,330 --> 00:18:57,830
Any final words,
General Beats?
504
00:18:57,830 --> 00:19:00,210
May my death serve
as an inspiration
505
00:19:00,210 --> 00:19:02,290
to the sons and daughters
of the revolution.
506
00:19:02,290 --> 00:19:03,880
Now and forever more!
507
00:19:03,880 --> 00:19:06,250
You're smiling
too much.
508
00:19:06,250 --> 00:19:08,040
I mean,
still smile a little.
509
00:19:08,040 --> 00:19:09,540
Dane's got to take
the newsletter photo.
510
00:19:09,540 --> 00:19:10,920
[ Clears throat ]
511
00:19:10,920 --> 00:19:12,830
Everybody say, "Execution!"
512
00:19:12,830 --> 00:19:14,880
Together: Execution!
513
00:19:14,880 --> 00:19:16,040
[ Camera shutter clicks ]
514
00:19:19,250 --> 00:19:21,170
May my death serve
as an inspiration
515
00:19:21,170 --> 00:19:23,250
to the sons and daughters
of the revolution.
516
00:19:23,250 --> 00:19:26,620
Now and forever more.
517
00:19:26,620 --> 00:19:29,290
Wow.
That was riveting.
518
00:19:29,290 --> 00:19:31,040
Wish I could've seen it.
519
00:19:31,040 --> 00:19:32,120
Actually, you can.
520
00:19:32,120 --> 00:19:33,710
Oh, God.
I gotta come clean.
521
00:19:33,710 --> 00:19:35,710
My guys were filming
the whole time.
522
00:19:35,710 --> 00:19:37,330
Lonnie, I knew you
couldn't help yourself.
523
00:19:37,330 --> 00:19:39,380
No, I did help myself!
524
00:19:39,380 --> 00:19:42,170
After being there
and watching you and Oliver,
525
00:19:42,170 --> 00:19:45,170
I saw how much it meant to you,
so I'm not using the footage.
526
00:19:45,170 --> 00:19:48,170
But I did edit it
into a heroic highlight reel
527
00:19:48,170 --> 00:19:51,120
from the battle,
so...check it out.
528
00:19:51,120 --> 00:19:52,210
Okay.
529
00:19:55,330 --> 00:19:59,830
♪♪
530
00:19:59,830 --> 00:20:01,670
Fire!
Together: Bang!
531
00:20:01,670 --> 00:20:03,500
Reload!
532
00:20:03,500 --> 00:20:04,540
[ Laughs ]
533
00:20:04,540 --> 00:20:09,830
♪♪
534
00:20:09,830 --> 00:20:11,460
Dane:
Everybody say, "Execution!"
535
00:20:11,460 --> 00:20:13,540
Together: Execution!
536
00:20:13,540 --> 00:20:16,420
I guess there is something more
embarrassing than your dancing.
537
00:20:16,420 --> 00:20:18,830
♪♪
36639
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