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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: {1}{1}23.978 {1330}{1421}Do you have to sit so close?|It'll hurt your eyes. {1426}{1528}-It will not.|-Oh, yes, it will. {1551}{1604}Our next movie is McBain... {1609}{1710}...a shoot-them-up, splatter-fest|from the Hollywood cookie cutter. {1716}{1766}Here's a brainless scene. {1772}{1849}Senator Mendoza is|a respected citizen. {1855}{1986}Yet you ran his limo off a cliff and|drove a bus through his front door? {1991}{2077}I have proof that|he's head of a drug cartel! {2083}{2180}I don't want to hear it, McBain!|You're out of here! {2275}{2318}That makes two of us. {2324}{2369}-All right, McBain!|-Cool! {2373}{2428}"That makes two of us." {2443}{2508}Are we talking about the same movie? {2512}{2663}McBain was a nonstop roller coaster|of chills, thrills, spills and kills. {2669}{2720}That chase at the end-- {2725}{2793}That movie stinks like|your creepy apartment. {2798}{2890}-Your mother didn't think so.|-Real mature-- {2895}{2993}I love watching the bald guy argue|with the fat tub of lard. {2998}{3054}-What gives?|-Dad, do something! {3060}{3214}All right, all right. Time for Dr. TV|to perform a little surgery! {3220}{3284}Looks like you lost the patient, doc. {3290}{3408}Shut up. Cheap Chinese TV, why'd I|ever buy it? Is that better? {3413}{3458}No! {3470}{3518}How's this? {3533}{3633}Oh, no. Okay.|Just everybody remain calm. {3715}{3784}If you look close,|you can make them out. {3789}{3829}Yeah, I think I can. {3835}{3892}You're staring at a dot. {3897}{4013}She's right! She's right!|Oh, how I miss TV! {4018}{4074}Dear God, give me one channel! {4080}{4209}It's not the end of the world. Before|we got married, we hardly watched TV. {4214}{4245}You lie! {4250}{4349}It's true, Bart.|We used to shoot pool and go dancing. {4354}{4389}How romantic! {4393}{4465}And we'd stay at home|and talk, like this. {4470}{4507}I ain't loving it. {4513}{4659}It's hard to picture you at the|crossroads of life. So many questions. {4665}{4773}-Pick one.|-Okay. How did Dad propose to you? {4781}{4849}Oh, well.... {4854}{5016}I think we found the reason why you've|been throwing up in the morning. {5022}{5098}-Congratulations.|-D'oh! {5128}{5197}I'd rather tell you a different story. {5203}{5300}How your father and I first met|and fell in love. {5344}{5432}We were seniors in high school,|but we'd never met. {5530}{5578}Gross. {6154}{6220}Hey, Homer, you're late for English! {6226}{6322}Who needs that? I'm never going|to England. Let's smoke. {6327}{6411}I'm for equal rights, but do we need|an amendment? {6417}{6533}Don't you deserve to earn as much|as a man who does the same job? {6540}{6612}Not if I have to do|heavy lifting or math. {6618}{6693}Oh, Marge, you really ought|to read this. {6724}{6791}The shop kids are smoking again. {6930}{7033}-We're late for wood shop!|-Let's go grab a burger. {7038}{7094}Boy, you don't gain a pound. {7101}{7183}It's my metabolism.|I'm one of the lucky ones. {7189}{7332}Well, if it isn't Simpson and Gumble,|Springfield's Cheech and Chong. {7338}{7423}Three days of detention.|You know where and when. {7428}{7488}3:00, old building, room 106. {7498}{7639}I found out that to hire professionals|to do all the jobs of a housewife... {7645}{7800}...who incidentally is not married|to a house, would cost $48,000 a year. {7808}{7839}Right on, sister! {7845}{7991}The first step is to free ourselves|from these male-imposed shackles! {7996}{8052}Yeah, mama! Take it off! {8091}{8180}-I didn't think it'd burn so fast.|-It's the paper. {8186}{8340}Ms. Bouvier, I am surprised. One day|of detention. You know where and when. {8345}{8463}-No, I don't. I've never really--|-3:00, old building, room 106. {8544}{8632}Hi, Estelle? Will you go|to the prom with me? {8638}{8712}I wouldn't go if you were|Elliott Gould! {8716}{8812}-Shot down again.|-Don't worry, it's a big school. {8818}{8894}There's gotta be a girl|nobody wants to take. {8899}{8948}Excuse me, is this room 106? {8954}{9057}-Hey, who's that?|-I don't know. {9480}{9559}-Hey, would you like to go--?|-She's mine! {9780}{9886}-So what are you in for?|-I'm a political prisoner. {9891}{10012}Every day, I show up, act like me|and they slap me in here. {10017}{10061}Simpson, be quiet! {10066}{10148}-I haven't seen you in school.|-Okay, Simpson. {10153}{10212}-What?|-Another day of detention! {10217}{10269}-Let's get together.|-Two days! {10276}{10316}-What's your name?|-Homer. {10322}{10351}-Three days!|-J. Simpson. {10358}{10398}-Five!|-It was worth it! {10403}{10487}Six days! Okay, Simpson,|to the back of the room! {10501}{10576}-Love at first sight!|-Jailhouse romance. {10580}{10716}I reached step one. She knew I existed.|The problem was, she didn't care. {10730}{10778}-What's the matter?|-Nothing. {10785}{10872}Usually, I have to wrestle|the bucket out of your mitts. {10877}{10978}-Dad, I'm in love.|-Why don't you grab yourself a beer? {10986}{11138}-But, Dad, I don't drink--|-Cut the crap! "I collect the cans." {11143}{11289}Now grab a beer and get me one too.|This girlfriend, is she a real looker? {11295}{11348}-A lot on the ball?|-Yeah. {11355}{11423}Oh, son, don't overreach! {11429}{11567}Go for the dented car, the dead-end|job, the less attractive girl! {11572}{11668}I blame myself. I should've had|this talk a long time ago. {11674}{11704}Thanks, Pop. {11766}{11844}A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, l,|J, K, L, M, N, O, P-- S. {11849}{11910}I need some guidance, counselor. {11915}{12055}Okey-dokey. Good Lord, you should've|come to see me a long time ago. {12061}{12156}I met this girl, Marge,|and I wanna force her to like me. {12161}{12236}That's not the type|of guidance I give. {12241}{12342}I like to think I do something|helpful for every student. {12346}{12469}The only advice I can give you is|to share common interests and spend. {12475}{12533}What interests does she have? {12538}{12638}She's active on the forensics team.|They meet in room 219. {12644}{12741}-Far out!|-Do you have plans after graduation? {12747}{12844}Me? I'm gonna drink a lot of beer|and stay out all night! {12849}{12959}I meant career-wise. That nuclear|power plant will be opening soon. {12965}{13056}It's an outfit that won't|require a college education. {13062}{13171}Me, in a nuclear power plant. {13177}{13229}Kaboom! {13235}{13368}But bringing up a son, even a blind|one, isn't a lifetime occupation. {13375}{13479}Now, the more you help him,|the more you hurt him. {13485}{13585}Woe unto Shelbyville, should they|underestimate our strength. {13590}{13620}Thanks, Artie. {13624}{13687}I'd like to sign up for something. {13693}{13772}-We've an opening on the debate team.|-Arguing? {13778}{13883}I'll take that, stinkpot!|Just warming up, Mrs. Bloominstein. {13889}{14022}The topic is "Resolved: The speed|limit should be lowered to 55 mph." {14027}{14077}Fifty-five? That's ridiculous! {14082}{14197}Sure, it'll save a few lives,|but millions will be late! {14202}{14247}Why don't you take "con"? {14443}{14499}No way. {14504}{14587}-Our speed limit is an anachronism--|-Ignoramus. {14594}{14672}-Will you shut up?|-That word you call me-- {14679}{14751}-Ignoramus?|-It means I'm stupid, doesn't it? {14756}{14836}-Stupidity is different.|-Not to me. {14842}{14902}-Ignoramus.|-You are. {14907}{15022}-Would you like to do your rebuttal?|-With pleasure. {15027}{15076}Ay, carumba! {15232}{15321}You may not remember me.|I mooned for rebuttal. {15325}{15423}-Yes, I remember.|-So you wanna go out with me? {15430}{15499}Well, I don't think you're my type. {15504}{15624}You see, the problem is,|you don't know me. I have references. {15629}{15771}Just ask Coach Flanagan. And ask|Mr. Seckofsky and Barney Gumble! {15776}{15818}I don't know. {15823}{15974}I'm not asking you to like me or let|me touch your goodies. Just be fair. {15980}{16082}Homer Simpson? Oh, yeah.|Junior varsity shot-putter. {16088}{16215}I think if he applies himself, trains|real hard, he could go another foot. {16220}{16344}I had him for four years. Solid "C"|student. Made a lamp last year. {16350}{16488}He's all things to men and maybe to|a lucky gal. Wanna go to prom with me? {16494}{16564}-Good God, no!|-Well put. {16570}{16621}Well, what's the good word? {16626}{16763}I'm sorry. You seem like a nice guy.|But I really don't have the time. {16768}{16844}And the forensics championship|is coming up. {16850}{16904}-So?|-And I tutor part-time. {16909}{17007}-You tutor? Anyone can be tutored?|-Only in French. {17012}{17175}French? What a coincidence! Just|the subject I'm having trouble with. {17203}{17341}-Why, you cagey old dog!|-Great story. Work, damn you, work! {17345}{17455}Bart! You may be telling this|one day if something breaks. {17541}{17637}Lost a few. There's plenty|more where that came from. {17644}{17766}Uh-oh, a zit. No problemo. {17788}{17844}The perfect crime. {18204}{18287}-Why is there make-out music on?|-It helps me study. {18293}{18397}Not me. Shut it off and let's get down|to business. {18537}{18611}-Crayon.|-Bien! {18616}{18713}-Fen�tre.|-Bien! {18718}{18765}-Femme.|-Tr�s bien. {18770}{18864}I should be going.|I have a big forensics meet tomorrow. {18869}{18922}Wait, wait. Don't go. {18928}{19017}Wait. Wait. Why don't we|take a little study break? {19044}{19104}-Do the hustle!|-Keep it down! {19140}{19256}You're amazing. Now you can|conjugate all the regular verbs... {19261}{19346}...two irregular verbs,|and sing "Alouette." {19419}{19506}-Bien.|-I can't believe it. It's sticking. {19513}{19629}You're telling me new stuff|and minutes later, it's still there. {19634}{19711}When I see you forming|vowels and continents-- {19716}{19863}-Consonants.|-With your beautiful mouth and teeth-- {19869}{19931}Merci, I guess. {19937}{20022}Marge, would you go|to the prom with me? {20027}{20132}You know, Homer, you're like|no one I've ever met before. {20136}{20242}You're dear and honest and open,|without a trace of pretension. {20248}{20357}I'll take that as a compliment.|Will you go out with me? Say oui. {20362}{20447}-Oui.|-This will be the greatest night! {20453}{20539}I've been saving up,|but I'll spend it all on us! {20545}{20613}I'll rent a limo!|I'll buy you a corsage! {20618}{20761}My tux will have the widest lapels|and the highest platform shoes. {20766}{20851}Maybe I'll wear my hair up. {20857}{21003}Wait, Marge. If honest and open is|what you like, get a load of this. {21009}{21170}I'm not in any French class. This was|a brilliant scheme to get to know you. {21174}{21255}You knew the City Forensics Finals|are tomorrow... {21260}{21366}...and you kept me up until 1 a.m.|pretending to be stupid! {21371}{21461}Homer J. Simpson, I hate you! {21555}{21676}Hey, Barney. Guess who's|got a date for the prom?! {21751}{21853}I know this story doesn't end|with you telling it to us. {21859}{21937}They married, had kids|and bought a cheap TV. {21951}{22088}Bringing up a son, even a blind one,|isn't a lifetime occupation. {22095}{22171}-Now, the more you help him...|-Terrible. {22176}{22235}...the more you hurt him. {22283}{22322}Congratulations, Artie. {22327}{22452}This may not be an appropriate forum|for what I'm about to put forth... {22458}{22571}...but would you go|to the prom with me? {22576}{22735}I can think of many cogent arguments.|The first is from Time magazine: {22741}{22856}"America's Affair With the Prom."|"Even wallflowers can date--" {22862}{22980}The best argument is that I've known|and respected you for eight years. {22986}{23041}I'll go to the prom with you. {23125}{23251}If you pinch your cheeks, they'll|glow. Try to break some capillaries. {23256}{23385}-Couldn't we just use rouge for this?|-Ladies pinch. Whores use rouge. {23443}{23473}Is Marge here? {23479}{23527}-Who--?|-Or what are you? {23533}{23608}-I'm her date.|-I suppose you wanna come in. {23613}{23691}-Okay.|-Marge's dates always get homelier. {23697}{23763}That's what you get|when you don't put out. {23805}{23943}I usually insist on approving Marge's|dates, but you're a solid citizen. {23947}{23995}Thanks, Mr. B. {24021}{24106}Here she comes.|Get the camera ready. {24154}{24212}Homer? {24307}{24397}-What are you doing here?|-You said you'd go with me. {24404}{24498}I said I hated you, and we haven't|talked since then. {24505}{24578}I was afraid you'd cancel|so I stayed away... {24584}{24713}...even though it meant skipping|school and graduating this summer. {24723}{24842}-I'm Artie, Marge's date for the prom.|-Well, hello. {24848}{24930}-Well, hello, hello.|-Don't we look handsome? {24936}{24998}-Indeed we do.|-Come in, young man. {25002}{25099}Wait a second.|If he's your date, who are you? {25104}{25212}I'm a spare. Excuse me. {25217}{25339}Now that that unpleasantness is over,|let's take a picture of the couple. {25346}{25382}Say "Cheez Whiz." {25388}{25488}-Hey, buddy, where's your date?|-She's with him. {25493}{25556}I guess you want me to take you home? {25562}{25717}I paid for this car, tuxedo and the two|dinners! We're going to the prom! {25722}{25772}Prom, it is. {25951}{26033}Don't dance too closely, now.|Have a good time. {26039}{26158}Wait a second, is that a bong? You|have asthma? All right, move along. {26164}{26219}I thought you dropped out. {26226}{26340}-You wish, Dondalinger.|-That's Mr. Dondalinger. {26587}{26632}-Steak or chicken?|-Both. {26636}{26715}-Coming through!|-Barney! {26797}{26865}He's bought himself|a decade of detention. {26871}{26934}Children, we've tabulated your votes. {26938}{27068}The king and queen of Springfield|High School's class of 1974 are... {27073}{27163}...Artie Ziff and Marge Bouvier. {27167}{27328}Oh, isn't she great? Hail, Queen Marge!|Long live the queen! {27333}{27476}Hello, classmates. Instead of voting|for an athletic hero or pretty boy... {27481}{27603}...you have elected me, your|intellectual superior, as your king. {27607}{27756}Very well said. Your king and queen|will share their first royal dance. {27761}{27875}Why do birds suddenly appear? {27903}{28014}-Every time you're near?|-I've gotta get out of here. {28153}{28212}-Homer?|-What? {28218}{28360}Why are you doing this? Why can't|you accept that I'm here with someone? {28366}{28432}Because we were meant to be together. {28439}{28586}Usually when I have a thought, there's|others. Something says yes and no. {28590}{28637}This time, it's only yes. {28642}{28755}How could the only thing I've|ever been sure about be wrong? {28773}{28853}I don't know, but it is. {28867}{28940}-Where to now, Romeo?|-Inspiration Point. {28948}{28993}I'm only paid to drive. {29082}{29208}Artie, I don't know. It was a|beautiful evening. Let's not ruin it. {29214}{29267}-Just this.|-Artie, please. {29271}{29406}-Come on, kiss me. Please.|-No, really, I mean it! Now stop it! {29427}{29496}-I'm sorry, Marge.|-Take me home. {29513}{29635}It's 1:00. If you wanna keep me,|I'm afraid it's gonna be $45 an hour. {29642}{29800}-No, it's okay. I'm broke. I'll walk.|-Yeah, why spoil a perfect evening? {30065}{30175}I'd appreciate it if you didn't|tell anybody about my busy hands. {30180}{30260}Not so much for myself,|but I'm so respected... {30266}{30356}...it would damage the town|to hear it. Good night. {30362}{30402}Yeah, right. {30407}{30493}When Simpson showed up,|it took years off my life. {30499}{30567}Stop it. She went out|with the good one. {30691}{30787}Shut up! I'm over as far as I can go! {30793}{30915}All right! All right!|I'll walk in the mud! {30935}{30969}-Homer?|-Marge? {30974}{31065}-Yeah. You want a ride?|-Sure. {31086}{31189}When I got home, I realized|who I should've gone with. {31195}{31242}Who? Oh. {31247}{31369}-Hi, prom date.|-Marge, pour vous. {31417}{31523}-Why so glum?|-I got a problem. {31528}{31635}Once you stop this car,|I'm gonna hug you and kiss you... {31640}{31694}...and I'll never let you go. {31699}{31774}And I never have. 16048