Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: {1}{1}23.978 {2038}{2155}A dash of rosemary, a smidgen|of thyme, a pinch of marjoram. {2161}{2248}Marge, you make the best|pork chops in the world. {2254}{2359}They're nothing special.|The extra ingredient is care. {2375}{2515}A sprinkle of chervil, half a teaspoon|of turmeric and a whisper of MSG. {2519}{2637}-I'm gonna build you a spice rack!|-Don't go to all that trouble for me. {2641}{2727}It's no trouble!|I've got a garage full of tools. {2737}{2859}Hey, kids! I spy Itchy and Scratchy|off the port bow! {2866}{2934}-Down in front!|-Shut up, boy. {2940}{3008}They fight and bite|Fight and bite and fight {3014}{3122}Fight fight fight, bite bite bite|The Itchy and Scratchy Show {3442}{3502}I knew this stuff|would be handy. {3507}{3643}Let's see now, here it is.|The Complete Handyman's Bookshelf. {3651}{3712}"Volume One: Spice Racks." {3814}{3909}"Pick up a hammer." {4000}{4079}Not as easy as I thought it was. {4265}{4307}Wow! {4934}{5026}-Dad, can you move your head?|-I can't. It's broken. {5055}{5181}Where would a child get the idea|to attack her father with a mallet? {5618}{5667}No, Maggie! Bad baby! {5675}{5756}Keep her away!|She's got that crazy look again! {5829}{5913}So television's responsible. {5924}{5967}We were watching that. {5973}{6038}You won't be watching any more.|Ever! {6044}{6163}But if you take them away, we'll grow|up without humor and be robots. {6170}{6228}Really? What kind of robots? {6246}{6313}I heard about the cartoons.|Tough break. {6320}{6352}Thanks, Nelson. {6358}{6437}What if you watch it|over at my house? {6444}{6539}Hey, that's just crazy enough|to work. {6545}{6643}You heard me. I won't be in for|the rest of the week. {6655}{6748}I told you. My baby beat me up. {6754}{6860}It is not the worst excuse|I ever thought up. Wise guy. {6880}{6957}I wonder why the kids|are late getting home. {7368}{7460}-How come you can watch cartoons?|-Because. {7466}{7509}-Because why?|-I said so. {7512}{7578}-You said so why?|-I'm trying to work. {7594}{7684}-What are you doing?|-Cataloguing the violence. {7689}{7811}I don't think adults have ever|sat down and watched them before. {8067}{8172}What kind of warped human being|would find that funny? {8236}{8377}They think this is suitable|for younger, impressionable viewers? {8385}{8506}-Yeah, what are you gonna do?|-I'll tell you. I'll write a letter! {8539}{8648}Dear Purveyors of Senseless Violence: {8654}{8734}I know this may|sound silly at first... {8742}{8837}...but the cartoons you show|to our children... {8844}{8924}...are influencing|their behavior negatively. {8950}{9108}Please tone down the violence|in your otherwise fine programming. {9114}{9169}Yours truly, Marge Simpson. {9182}{9239}Take a letter. "Dear Valued Viewer: {9244}{9317}Thank you for your interest|in our program. {9323}{9438}Enclosed is an autographed photo|of America's favorite cat and mouse. {9453}{9593}As to your comments, research shows|one person can't make a difference... {9599}{9653}...no matter how screwy she is. {9659}{9763}-So, let me close by saying...."|-"And the horse I rode in on"! {9769}{9863}I'll show them|what one screwball can do! {10432}{10502}Everybody's looking at us, Marge. {10509}{10588}That's what we want them to do, Homer. {10626}{10681}How long are we gonna do this? {10687}{10789}I've never changed the world.|I don't know how long it takes. {10795}{10870}-lf people take an interest--|-Hello, Marge! {10876}{10942}-What is "S-N-U-H"?|-Snuh. {10978}{11110}It's "Springfieldians for Nonviolence,|Understanding and Helping." {11116}{11193}It's a crusade|against cartoon violence. {11198}{11357}I can protect my kids, but many others|are being warped each afternoon. {11375}{11482}That reminds me. I've got to get|to Milhouse's to play. {11489}{11543}-All right.|-I'm going to Janey's. {11548}{11632}We'll be making|the most of our childhood years. {11638}{11716}-Have fun.|-We will. {11813}{11948}What happens when a child has insanely|violent role models like these? {11954}{12039}The answer is all around you. {12045}{12147}How many of you were hit|with mallets last week? {12306}{12377}I didn't know they made|TV dinners this bad. {12382}{12437}-Can I watch cartoons?|-No. {12442}{12526}-There's peas in my cobbler.|-They're everywhere. {12547}{12683}-I guess I'll go and watch cartoons.|-No! I'm sorry about the dinners. {12690}{12769}-I'll make up for it.|-Who's up for cartoons? {12777}{12815}-No one!|-All right. {12822}{12923}Tomorrow, how about making|your patented pork chops? {12929}{13067}Sure! Oh, dear, I can't. I've got|three protest rallies tomorrow. {13091}{13180}Twenty million women,|and I had to marry Jane Fonda. {13186}{13306}Hi, kids! Guess what, Sideshow Mel. {13313}{13421}-It's time for Itchy & Scratchy!|-Boo! {13433}{13496}Hey! Settle down, boys and girls. {13502}{13614}Or Krusty will bring out his friend|Corporal Punishment again. {13643}{13681}Please, stop it. {13687}{13753}-Who are you people?|-What do we want? {13759}{13821}Less violence in|kid's programming! {13827}{13885}-When do we want it?|-Now! {13891}{13965}They're ruining the show! {13973}{14040}Stop! Please, stop! {14046}{14125}Please, lady, be quiet! {14131}{14237}I'm trying to earn a living here,|all right? Stop! {14243}{14340}That woman.|That screwball, Marge Simpson. {14346}{14399}We've got to stop her. How? {14403}{14465}-Drop an anvil?|-Hit her with a piano? {14469}{14538}Stuff her with TNT,|throw a match and run? {14546}{14677}All your degrees and that's|the best you can do? You make me sick. {14683}{14748}Less violence|in children's programming! {14752}{14799}-When do we want it?|-Now! {14803}{14870}Less violence|in children's programming! {14875}{14950}-When do we want it?|-Now! {14965}{15020}I'm so funny! {15117}{15226}Some of these are good. I never knew|mice lived such lives. {15232}{15338}So much brutality.|I don't know if I'm having any impact. {15401}{15458}Don't do that! {15464}{15530}Hey, don't do that! {15662}{15735}Take that, you dumb squirrel! {15765}{15821}Where do they get their ideas? {15836}{15901}What is it? What? Smartline? {15907}{16035}Yes, I've heard of your late-night|panel discussion show. I'd love to! {16041}{16155}Smartline! With our local|Emmy-winning host, Kent Brockman. {16160}{16262}I'm Kent Brockman.|Welcome to another Smartline. {16266}{16396}Are cartoons too violent? Most people|say, "No! What a stupid question!" {16400}{16488}One woman says yes.|She's here tonight. Marge Simpson. {16494}{16521}There she is! {16528}{16610}Also with us for|this animated discussion... {16616}{16700}-...are Roger Myers--|-Thank you. {16704}{16825}--Krusty, whose program brings us|Itchy & Scratchy every afternoon.... {16831}{16887}Hi, Kent! {16894}{17015}And, joining us via satellite|from Vienna, the home of Freud... {17021}{17139}...to give insight into the mind,|Dr. Marvin Monroe. {17145}{17195}Let's see what this is about. {17200}{17304}Here's an example of the work|being made at I & S Studios. {17542}{17600}Hilarious. What's wrong with that? {17604}{17664}-Nothing's wrong with it.|-Excuse me! {17669}{17749}-He's asking me.|-I know. Nothing's wrong with it. {17755}{17845}-It's a bad influence on children.|-Give me a break! {17851}{17923}That is baloney. And here's why: {17929}{18025}I did some research|and discovered a startling thing. {18031}{18128}There was violence in the past,|before cartoons. {18136}{18164}Fascinating. {18169}{18270}There was the crusades.|Tremendous violence! Many killed! {18276}{18367}-It went on for 30 years.|-This was before cartoons? {18373}{18458}That's right, Kent.|So much for your viewpoint. {18464}{18537}Dr. Monroe, would you care to comment? {18545}{18619}To me, the high jinks|of comic characters... {18625}{18750}...pales in comparison with|the problems I run into everyday. {18757}{18895}I'm referring to women who love too|much, fear of winning, sex-aholism. {18902}{18987}So you have no objection|to Itchy & Scratchy? {18993}{19034}No, not at all. {19041}{19190}One of my guilty little pleasures|is to turn on Itchy & Scratchy... {19195}{19284}...and laugh myself silly.|What's wrong with that? {19290}{19364}Not a thing.|Now, for another opinion. {19369}{19407}Hi, kids! {19412}{19524}Please. This is your chance to|participate in a serious discussion. {19542}{19678}I'm sorry, Kent. It's just when|the camera gets on me-- {19683}{19724}-Krusty!|-Sorry. {19729}{19784}We won't settle this tonight. {19791}{19913}Mrs. Simpson, in the nine seconds|left, can you summarize your position? {19919}{20024}I'd ask the parents|concerned about this to write in. {20030}{20107}Let the cartoon makers|know how you feel. {20115}{20235}I don't believe it. "I won't|watch your show, buy your products... {20241}{20333}...or brake if I see you|crossing the street." {20340}{20403}Wow, that's cold. {20435}{20548}"Dear Sleaze Merchant. "|Now, come on, that hurts. {20559}{20655}Gentlemen, the screwballs have spoken. {20930}{20954}Hello? {20961}{21009}-Is this Marge Simpson?|-Yes. {21014}{21097}The Marge who fixed it so cartoons|can't be violent? {21105}{21129}Yes. {21135}{21240}This is Myers with the writers.|How do we end this picture? {21257}{21298}What's the problem? {21305}{21424}-Itchy stole Scratchy's ice cream--|-Make it a pie. Easier to draw. {21430}{21457}Okay, a pie. {21465}{21543}Scratchy is understandably upset. {21549}{21593}We figured he'd grab Itchy... {21599}{21654}-...and toss him in acid.|-Oh, dear. {21659}{21814}But we thought it might be violent,|which is wrong now, thanks to you. {21820}{21852}What's your idea? {21858}{21958}-How do we end this?|-Let's see.... {21972}{22117}Couldn't Itchy share his pie with|Scratchy? Then they'd both have pie. {22195}{22254}It's different, I'll give you that. {22260}{22357}A tool every handyman needs.|It's a jigsaw! A drill! {22364}{22474}It's an asphalt spreader!|It's 67 tools in one! {22480}{22560}-How much would you pay for all this?|-$1000! {22565}{22607}-Don't answer yet.|-Sorry. {22613}{22685}-You also get--|-I was watching that! {22691}{22759}-Time for Krusty.|-We can watch cartoons? {22765}{22857}-Yes, dear. All you want.|-All right! {22865}{22973}-Turn it up!|-Hey kids! Time for Itchy & Scratchy! {23025}{23108}They love, they share|They share and love and share {23112}{23228}Love love love, share share share|The Itchy & Scratchy Show! {23422}{23478}Lemonade? {23518}{23587}-Please.|-I made it just for you. {23593}{23688}You are my best friend. {23694}{23762}Itchy and Scratchy|have lost their edge. {23769}{23828}It's a nice message of sharing. {23835}{23866}I think it sucks. {23930}{23962}Thank you, Maggie. {23968}{24038}-This hits the spot.|-Doesn't it? {24044}{24128}-You make good lemonade.|-Thank you, Itchy. {24178}{24313}Wasn't that funny, boys and girls?|Well? Wasn't it? {24326}{24393}Aren't you going to watch the rest? {24398}{24491}-No. Come on.|-Maybe there's something else to do. {24638}{24768}But the third bowl of porridge|was just right. {26371}{26410}Hi, kids! {26486}{26537}What? Is this Saturday? {26542}{26597}What did you kids do today? {26603}{26710}We went fishing.|Almost caught a catfish this big. {26716}{26788}I went bird watching|and saw a grackle. {26795}{26824}That's nice, dear. {26831}{26900}-Let's finish our soapbox racers.|-Okay. {26906}{26981}-May we please be excused?|-Sure. {26987}{27102}Wow! What great kids.|This is the golden age, Marge! {27108}{27169}The parents owe it all to you. {27188}{27273}I didn't expect things|to change this much. {27279}{27355}I always knew you'd make|the world better. {27391}{27547}This will be the art event of the|century! Michelangelo's David... {27553}{27601}...on a tour of the U.S. {27606}{27668}Which cities will be|in your itinerary? {27675}{27736}-New York, Springfield--|-Yes? {27742}{27805}If we have time,|Chicago, Boston, Los Angeles. {27933}{28026}-Marge, get the door.|-What in the world? {28113}{28230}Get dressed, Marge. Lead our protest|against this abomination. {28237}{28322}That's Michelangelo's David.|It's a masterpiece. {28328}{28457}Filth. It portrays parts of the body|which, though practical, are evil. {28462}{28563}-I like that statue.|-I knew she was soft on nudity. {28569}{28607}Come on, girls. {28718}{28771}What is this?|What do you want? {28775}{28858}We want your big Italian butt|out of here! {28864}{28963}Smartline. With our local host,|Kent Brockman. {28970}{29062}A masterpiece?|Or just a guy with his pants down? {29067}{29121}That's our topic tonight. {29133}{29243}-Why are you against the statue?|-I'm not. Everyone should see it. {29258}{29362}-Aren't you Marge Simpson, the wacko?|-Yes and no. {29367}{29502}How can you be for one form of|expression, like our naked friend... {29507}{29625}...and be against another form,|like Itchy & Scratchy? {29632}{29702}-Good question.|-Well, I guess I can't. {29708}{29765}It's a shame.|I hate those cartoons. {29771}{29926}What do you say to those out there|who wish to suppress David 's doodle? {29946}{30083}I don't know. One person can make|a difference but probably shouldn't. {30089}{30148}Well, I guess that settles that. {30154}{30216}We will be ending early tonight. {30221}{30329}Tomorrow our topic will be "Religion:|Which Is the One True Faith?" {31163}{31304}-There he is, Michelangelo's Dave.|-David. {31312}{31370}-What's wrong, Marge?|-Oh, Homie. {31377}{31445}The kids have a chance|to see great art. {31449}{31545}But they're watching a cat|and mouse disembowel each other. {31550}{31586}Don't worry, Marge. {31591}{31722}Soon every kid in school is going|to come and see this thing. {31728}{31829}-Really? Why?|-They're forcing them! {31867}{31940}Well, isn't that nice? 13890