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REPORTERS: ..Southwark Crown Court
where Charles Ingram...
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00:00:08,345 --> 00:00:10,505
Army Major Charles Ingram
and his wife Diana
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00:00:10,545 --> 00:00:12,865
arriving at court today
to face the cameras.
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00:00:12,905 --> 00:00:14,465
Inside, Ingram is to hear claims
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00:00:14,505 --> 00:00:16,665
that he teamed up
with a coughing accomplice,
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00:00:16,705 --> 00:00:19,225
alleged to be
college lecturer Tecwen Whittock,
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00:00:19,265 --> 00:00:22,025
{\an8}to cheat his way
to the £1 million jackpot
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00:00:22,065 --> 00:00:26,265
{\an8}on ITV's hit quiz show,
Who Wants To Be A Millionaire.
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00:00:26,305 --> 00:00:28,279
CLAMOURING
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00:00:55,665 --> 00:00:57,105
Oh, hello.
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00:00:57,145 --> 00:00:59,036
I believe we're charged with
co-conspiracy.
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00:01:01,025 --> 00:01:02,505
It's nice to meet you both
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00:01:02,545 --> 00:01:04,905
at last.
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00:01:04,945 --> 00:01:09,305
Yes, the accused look,
and to all intents and purposes, are
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00:01:09,345 --> 00:01:12,425
respectable middle-class,
middle-aged,
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00:01:12,465 --> 00:01:14,265
middle England men and women.
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00:01:14,305 --> 00:01:18,505
At the end of the day,
this was just a game.
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00:01:18,545 --> 00:01:21,985
A television quiz show
enjoyed by millions,
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00:01:22,025 --> 00:01:24,465
but creating in a select few
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this unhealthy obsession
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00:01:26,825 --> 00:01:30,825
that spilled over
into an audacious heist.
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00:01:30,865 --> 00:01:32,865
Who wanted to be a millionaire?
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00:01:32,905 --> 00:01:35,265
My God, these three certainly did.
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You are facing a 50-50,
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00:01:38,265 --> 00:01:41,105
guilty or not guilty.
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The Crown believes the answer
to be self-evident.
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They are guilty as charged.
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REPORTER: Today, one home in three
throughout the British Isles
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sits spellbound several hours a day
before a magic cube.
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00:02:03,785 --> 00:02:06,145
A new public service
is about to be launched
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00:02:06,185 --> 00:02:08,465
over the rooftops of old London.
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Here it is, ladies and gentlemen,
a holiday of a lifetime.
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You've won a marvellous
14-day holiday for two.
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00:02:13,585 --> 00:02:16,705
You've got a radiogram
and a nice easy chair to sit on.
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00:02:16,745 --> 00:02:18,745
Bern is the capital of...
Switzerland.
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00:02:18,785 --> 00:02:20,105
Edinburgh.
Scotland.
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00:02:20,145 --> 00:02:24,145
This wonderful microwave oven and a
superb range of kitchen equipment.
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00:02:24,185 --> 00:02:25,785
Let's play Bullseye.
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00:02:25,825 --> 00:02:28,905
For £50. Who was beaten
by Martina Navratilova
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00:02:28,945 --> 00:02:31,465
in the 1987 finals?
Steffi Graf.
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00:02:31,505 --> 00:02:33,105
APPLAUSE
Welcome to Mr and Mrs.
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We've got two happily married
couples back there,
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ready and willing to hand over
their nuptials to me.
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00:02:37,785 --> 00:02:39,785
It's nice to see you, to see you...
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00:02:39,825 --> 00:02:41,185
AUDIENCE: Nice!
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Hi, sir.
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David Liddiment. I start today.
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What department?
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00:02:58,465 --> 00:03:00,985
Uh... I think, uh...
50
00:03:01,025 --> 00:03:03,545
Well, I suppose all of them.
I'm the new Director of Programmes.
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00:03:03,585 --> 00:03:06,825
Oh! Stand by your beds,
best behaviour, new boss is here.
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00:03:06,865 --> 00:03:08,505
God, I hate changes of leader.
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00:03:08,545 --> 00:03:10,465
And them wanky new ideas.
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David! Claudia.
Head of Entertainment.
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00:03:12,265 --> 00:03:13,545
Hi.
Claudia, hi. How are you?
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00:03:13,585 --> 00:03:17,345
Surprise, surprise,
it's Claudia who gets to him first.
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00:03:17,385 --> 00:03:19,665
You look...
I look... I look like hell.
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00:03:19,705 --> 00:03:22,385
Just had baby number two,
that's my excuse, anyway, so...
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00:03:22,425 --> 00:03:24,185
Uh... Time for a quick catch-up?
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00:03:24,225 --> 00:03:27,465
Walk and talk?
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
61
00:03:29,385 --> 00:03:31,305
I'm interested in events.
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00:03:31,345 --> 00:03:33,145
Event television.
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00:03:33,185 --> 00:03:36,025
Why do the BBC always trounce us
in the big stuff?
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00:03:36,065 --> 00:03:37,865
Diana's funeral
a couple of weeks ago,
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00:03:37,905 --> 00:03:40,065
one of the most watched programmes
in TV history,
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00:03:40,105 --> 00:03:43,065
and obviously, tragic as that was,
goes without saying... Tragic.
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00:03:43,105 --> 00:03:44,865
..people still want to
gather as a nation
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00:03:44,905 --> 00:03:47,065
to experience
something big together.
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00:03:47,105 --> 00:03:51,105
I'm just not sure the classic light
entertainment of old fits into that.
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00:03:51,145 --> 00:03:52,305
OK.
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00:03:52,345 --> 00:03:55,505
Well, we've always gotten
our game show formats from America.
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00:03:55,545 --> 00:03:56,745
So time for something new.
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00:03:56,785 --> 00:03:58,945
No, time to invent our own.
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00:03:58,985 --> 00:04:01,825
The classic TV game show can be
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00:04:01,865 --> 00:04:03,785
the must-see TV thingy
that you're looking for.
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00:04:03,825 --> 00:04:05,985
I'm not just saying that
to save my department's skin.
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00:04:06,025 --> 00:04:08,785
Claudia, I've got Martin Bashir
coming in this morning to discuss...
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00:04:08,825 --> 00:04:11,265
Very important, but if you just
let me bring some people in...
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00:04:11,305 --> 00:04:13,465
I have one. I think I have one.
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00:04:13,505 --> 00:04:15,385
It's an old one.
The last gaffer rejected it.
81
00:04:15,425 --> 00:04:16,985
Brilliant. Why is it an event?
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00:04:17,025 --> 00:04:19,545
Because they're going to give away
£1 million.
83
00:04:24,905 --> 00:04:28,385
The idea then would be that the
higher up the mountain you climb,
84
00:04:28,425 --> 00:04:32,145
the more your time would deplete,
the way that oxygen might deplete.
85
00:04:32,185 --> 00:04:33,905
No. Stop trying to complicate it.
86
00:04:33,945 --> 00:04:36,305
It's simple. Questions and answers.
87
00:04:36,345 --> 00:04:39,385
Paul, for crying out...
This isn't 1955.
88
00:04:39,425 --> 00:04:42,145
Everyone else is making shows where
you spy on strangers in a house
89
00:04:42,185 --> 00:04:44,665
or throw them out of helicopters.
Yeah. Crap. Desperate.
90
00:04:44,705 --> 00:04:46,305
This is the show
we're going to pitch.
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00:04:46,345 --> 00:04:47,785
Re-pitch.
92
00:04:47,825 --> 00:04:49,585
We could set it on actual mountain.
93
00:04:49,625 --> 00:04:51,745
Well, like a little one.
94
00:04:51,785 --> 00:04:53,025
Like in...
95
00:04:53,065 --> 00:04:54,225
Wales or...
96
00:04:54,265 --> 00:04:56,385
Look, right, I'm with Paul.
97
00:04:56,425 --> 00:04:58,145
It's what we did
on the radio show with Chris.
98
00:04:58,185 --> 00:05:00,345
Answer a question,
you get it right, you double it,
99
00:05:00,385 --> 00:05:03,225
so you keep doubling,
so the higher up you go,
100
00:05:03,265 --> 00:05:06,185
the more you can earn,
but the more you can lose.
101
00:05:06,225 --> 00:05:07,385
People love it.
102
00:05:07,425 --> 00:05:08,905
But the networks don't.
103
00:05:08,945 --> 00:05:10,945
That's why they all
turned it down the first time.
104
00:05:10,985 --> 00:05:12,665
Fusty old game show.
105
00:05:12,705 --> 00:05:15,985
It's not a game show, it's a quiz.
106
00:05:16,025 --> 00:05:18,945
That's the joy of it.
107
00:05:18,985 --> 00:05:22,225
People love a good pub quiz.
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00:05:22,265 --> 00:05:26,465
A uniquely British invention
combining our two greatest loves,
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00:05:26,505 --> 00:05:29,305
drinking and being right.
110
00:05:31,945 --> 00:05:33,465
Nope. Fine.
You write it down, then.
111
00:05:33,505 --> 00:05:34,745
Ever the teacher, you do it.
112
00:05:34,785 --> 00:05:36,985
That's not how you spell that.
Question three.
113
00:05:37,025 --> 00:05:39,545
The Living Room War was the nickname
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00:05:39,585 --> 00:05:41,705
given to which conflict
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00:05:41,745 --> 00:05:45,945
perceived to be the first truly
televised war of the 20th century?
116
00:05:45,985 --> 00:05:47,025
Suez?
Korean?
117
00:05:47,065 --> 00:05:48,705
Maybe it is Suez.
No, it was too early,
118
00:05:48,745 --> 00:05:50,425
we didn't have a TV during Suez.
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00:05:50,465 --> 00:05:52,225
Vietnam. It's Vietnam.
120
00:05:52,265 --> 00:05:53,305
Are you sure, Dad?
121
00:05:53,345 --> 00:05:56,505
Uh... Who here got down
to the last four on Fifteen To One,
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00:05:56,545 --> 00:05:58,105
toughest show on television?
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00:05:58,145 --> 00:05:59,505
Vietnam.
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00:05:59,545 --> 00:06:01,705
Diana. Diana?
125
00:06:01,745 --> 00:06:03,865
Telephone. Diana.
126
00:06:03,905 --> 00:06:06,025
Guess who for 12 points.
127
00:06:06,065 --> 00:06:09,265
"I say, darling, is that the time?
Deary me.
128
00:06:09,305 --> 00:06:11,465
"In the army,
one must always be on time.
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00:06:11,505 --> 00:06:12,425
"Golly."
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00:06:12,465 --> 00:06:14,785
Oi! No phone calls. Cheating.
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00:06:14,825 --> 00:06:17,225
I'm not cheating. We don't cheat.
132
00:06:17,265 --> 00:06:19,025
Charles, it's Tuesday,
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00:06:19,065 --> 00:06:20,345
pub quiz night, my one night...
134
00:06:20,385 --> 00:06:22,865
No, hello, darling. No, no, no,
I'm not asking you to come home,
135
00:06:22,905 --> 00:06:25,705
it's just that Polly wants you to
hear her piano piece before bedtime.
136
00:06:25,745 --> 00:06:27,585
She's got all the way through
the first bit.
137
00:06:27,625 --> 00:06:29,785
I'll hold the phone out.
One second. One sec.
138
00:06:33,545 --> 00:06:34,545
Go. Go.
139
00:06:34,585 --> 00:06:36,585
PLAYS 'AIR ON THE G STRING'
BY BACH
140
00:06:47,385 --> 00:06:54,385
Question four, in which country was
the Rosetta Stone found in 1799?
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00:06:59,225 --> 00:07:00,345
That's all I've got.
142
00:07:00,385 --> 00:07:01,745
That's all she's got.
143
00:07:01,785 --> 00:07:03,305
That's all she's gotten.
144
00:07:03,345 --> 00:07:04,665
That's all for now, darling.
145
00:07:04,705 --> 00:07:06,705
Oh, well, tell her well done.
I'll be home soon.
146
00:07:06,745 --> 00:07:08,465
Lots of love.
Next question...
147
00:07:14,105 --> 00:07:15,305
It's exciting!
148
00:07:15,345 --> 00:07:17,585
Brand-new school,
new children, new friends.
149
00:07:17,625 --> 00:07:19,745
It's just memorising all the names.
150
00:07:19,785 --> 00:07:21,105
They'll need a system.
151
00:07:21,145 --> 00:07:23,305
Can you call the landlord tonight
about the boiler?
152
00:07:23,345 --> 00:07:25,985
Last thing we needed
was cold showers this morning. Sure.
153
00:07:26,025 --> 00:07:29,465
You feeling all right today?
Yeah, I'm looking forward to it.
154
00:07:29,505 --> 00:07:32,585
It's a bit of a step down, isn't it,
training other officers?
155
00:07:32,625 --> 00:07:34,585
Well, it's a step around.
It's a step different.
156
00:07:34,625 --> 00:07:36,945
It's nice to be near your dad
and Adrian, isn't it?
157
00:07:36,985 --> 00:07:39,505
Yes, although you should have
seen him last night,
158
00:07:39,545 --> 00:07:41,225
so competitive, he drives me crazy.
159
00:07:41,265 --> 00:07:43,425
But you're quite competitive too
in a lovely way.
160
00:07:43,465 --> 00:07:45,465
Nothing wrong with
a bit of ambition, Charles.
161
00:07:45,505 --> 00:07:47,145
So, it's multiple choice,
162
00:07:47,185 --> 00:07:49,425
which has never been done
on telly before, ever,
163
00:07:49,465 --> 00:07:52,385
and you get to see the question
and four possible answers
164
00:07:52,425 --> 00:07:53,825
before you decide to play.
165
00:07:53,865 --> 00:07:55,425
Right, so it's easier, then?
166
00:07:55,465 --> 00:07:57,705
No, if anything,
it adds to the torment.
167
00:07:57,745 --> 00:08:00,185
And there's no clock,
they get as long as they want.
168
00:08:00,225 --> 00:08:01,425
Well, where's the tension?
169
00:08:01,465 --> 00:08:03,745
Because we're watching people
potentially
170
00:08:03,785 --> 00:08:06,945
making life-changing decisions.
171
00:08:06,985 --> 00:08:09,985
And we'll just sit there
and watch them go through it all,
172
00:08:10,025 --> 00:08:12,585
the whole gamut of emotions,
waiting.
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00:08:12,625 --> 00:08:15,025
And then there's also the matter of
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00:08:15,065 --> 00:08:17,425
the largest game show prize
in the history of television.
175
00:08:17,465 --> 00:08:20,505
Right, yeah,
so you're gonna bankrupt us all.
176
00:08:20,545 --> 00:08:21,985
Oh, there's nothing to worry about.
177
00:08:22,025 --> 00:08:26,025
It would take a very unique sort of
person to risk going all the way.
178
00:08:26,065 --> 00:08:27,705
That fear is built into the show.
179
00:08:27,745 --> 00:08:29,505
Well, let's try it.
Play it with you.
180
00:08:29,545 --> 00:08:31,105
Now.
181
00:08:31,145 --> 00:08:32,825
Sure, why not? Love a game.
182
00:08:32,865 --> 00:08:34,585
And we thought,
to make things more real,
183
00:08:34,625 --> 00:08:36,305
you could put your own money in.
184
00:08:36,345 --> 00:08:38,065
£250, say?
185
00:08:38,105 --> 00:08:39,545
For the psychology, you know.
186
00:08:39,585 --> 00:08:41,585
Oh, you did, did you?
187
00:08:42,905 --> 00:08:44,385
Right. Yeah.
188
00:08:44,425 --> 00:08:47,665
You think I just carry £250
around with me?
189
00:08:49,145 --> 00:08:51,705
Certainly close. 230.
190
00:08:51,745 --> 00:08:53,745
Claudia, do you have, um...
191
00:08:54,785 --> 00:08:58,305
What, you want me to put in...
20 quid, I'm putting in 230.
192
00:08:58,305 --> 00:09:00,425
Yeah. Yeah, OK.
193
00:09:00,465 --> 00:09:01,625
Let's play...
194
00:09:01,665 --> 00:09:03,785
# Dooo...
195
00:09:03,825 --> 00:09:04,865
What was that?
196
00:09:04,905 --> 00:09:06,105
That's the..
197
00:09:06,145 --> 00:09:07,785
the lights going down.
198
00:09:07,825 --> 00:09:09,505
Something along that.
199
00:09:09,545 --> 00:09:10,985
OK. Question one,
200
00:09:11,025 --> 00:09:13,585
what would an aborigine do
with his wurlie?
201
00:09:13,625 --> 00:09:16,025
Would he, A, eat it,
202
00:09:16,065 --> 00:09:17,905
B, hunt with it,
203
00:09:17,945 --> 00:09:19,785
C, play it,
204
00:09:19,825 --> 00:09:21,945
D, live in it?
205
00:09:21,985 --> 00:09:24,625
Now, you have three
Helping Hands or something...
206
00:09:24,665 --> 00:09:25,785
We're working on...
207
00:09:25,825 --> 00:09:29,185
You can phone a friend,
you can halve it,
208
00:09:29,225 --> 00:09:31,865
so there's a 50-50 chance,
or you can ask the audience.
209
00:09:31,905 --> 00:09:33,345
Right, the halve it option.
210
00:09:33,385 --> 00:09:34,705
C, play it,
211
00:09:34,745 --> 00:09:37,425
or D, live in it.
212
00:09:37,465 --> 00:09:38,785
Sod it, live in it.
213
00:09:38,825 --> 00:09:40,065
Is the right answer.
214
00:09:40,105 --> 00:09:42,305
Oh! Yes!
Double.
215
00:09:42,345 --> 00:09:43,825
You know, I...
216
00:09:43,865 --> 00:09:46,025
I really thought it was that one.
Yeah.
217
00:09:46,065 --> 00:09:49,225
Question three,
who was the reigning monarch
218
00:09:49,265 --> 00:09:52,585
when Britain lost the war
of independence with America?
219
00:09:52,625 --> 00:09:54,625
Was it...
George II. George III.
220
00:09:54,665 --> 00:09:55,905
No, no, George II.
221
00:09:55,945 --> 00:09:57,025
Right, do...
George III.
222
00:09:57,065 --> 00:09:58,065
Do you want the options?
223
00:09:58,105 --> 00:09:59,305
Yeah, give me the options.
224
00:09:59,345 --> 00:10:02,105
Question four. Now, this is
to double your money again,
225
00:10:02,145 --> 00:10:03,385
or you lose it all.
Mm-hm.
226
00:10:03,425 --> 00:10:06,065
In feet, what is the length
of the Titanic,
227
00:10:06,105 --> 00:10:07,465
663,
228
00:10:07,505 --> 00:10:08,705
773,
229
00:10:08,745 --> 00:10:10,585
883,
230
00:10:10,625 --> 00:10:12,225
993?
231
00:10:12,265 --> 00:10:14,025
SIGHS
232
00:10:14,065 --> 00:10:16,225
Well, I'll, um...
233
00:10:16,265 --> 00:10:18,665
I'll use my last life boat.
234
00:10:18,705 --> 00:10:20,985
Helping Hand, although,
actually, that's...
235
00:10:21,025 --> 00:10:22,785
Anyway, uh... Ask the audience.
236
00:10:22,825 --> 00:10:24,385
They'd each be given
a keypad to vote.
237
00:10:24,425 --> 00:10:26,625
Why don't you just ask them
out there, if you like,
238
00:10:26,665 --> 00:10:28,825
as a sort of audience?
OK.
239
00:10:31,585 --> 00:10:33,705
Oi! Listen, everyone, a sec.
240
00:10:33,745 --> 00:10:34,825
Uh...
241
00:10:34,865 --> 00:10:37,065
How long is the Titanic in feet?
242
00:10:37,105 --> 00:10:39,265
Is it, uh...
What were the bloody options again?
243
00:10:39,305 --> 00:10:40,705
663.
663.
244
00:10:40,745 --> 00:10:42,145
773.
773.
245
00:10:42,185 --> 00:10:43,825
883.
Yeah, I've got it now, thanks.
246
00:10:43,865 --> 00:10:45,225
883 or 993.
247
00:10:46,625 --> 00:10:49,145
Well, come on, the great
and the good, have a guess.
248
00:10:49,185 --> 00:10:51,465
Right, well, you're all fired.
249
00:10:53,625 --> 00:10:55,865
Bloody useless.
250
00:10:55,905 --> 00:10:58,305
I'll stick.
251
00:10:59,185 --> 00:11:00,425
Keep my money.
252
00:11:02,305 --> 00:11:04,625
Yeah.
253
00:11:04,665 --> 00:11:06,545
Yeah, there is something in it,
254
00:11:06,585 --> 00:11:08,705
but...
255
00:11:08,745 --> 00:11:12,225
if people do win more than
we get from the phone lines,
256
00:11:12,265 --> 00:11:13,385
we're screwed.
257
00:11:17,825 --> 00:11:20,145
I'll go halves on the risk with you.
258
00:11:20,185 --> 00:11:21,745
With ITV.
259
00:11:21,785 --> 00:11:25,225
I'll absorb 50%
of the liability myself.
260
00:11:28,505 --> 00:11:30,625
I want a pilot
261
00:11:30,665 --> 00:11:33,145
and we'll see.
262
00:11:35,985 --> 00:11:38,465
Don't worry, in for a penny,
in for a...
263
00:11:38,505 --> 00:11:40,625
million pounds.
264
00:11:40,665 --> 00:11:42,025
I, uh...
265
00:11:42,065 --> 00:11:45,065
need to go and have a very awkward
conversation with my wife.
266
00:11:45,105 --> 00:11:46,985
It'll be fine.
267
00:11:47,025 --> 00:11:48,225
Fine.
268
00:11:48,265 --> 00:11:51,305
Let's just hope the first people
to phone in for the show are...
269
00:11:51,345 --> 00:11:53,345
well, idiots.
270
00:11:54,625 --> 00:11:56,625
CLASSICAL MUSIC
271
00:12:07,025 --> 00:12:11,705
HUMS ALONG
272
00:12:11,745 --> 00:12:14,785
I hope you're finding it
peaceful here, Major Ingram.
273
00:12:14,825 --> 00:12:17,505
Beautiful part of the world
of course, Wiltshire.
274
00:12:17,545 --> 00:12:20,025
Lovely walks.
Absolutely. Yes.
275
00:12:20,065 --> 00:12:21,585
Plenty of space for the kids
to, um...
276
00:12:21,625 --> 00:12:23,945
And we have a cat now. Uh...
277
00:12:23,985 --> 00:12:25,465
for the family to...
278
00:12:25,505 --> 00:12:27,385
Well, yeah, so...
And you were in Bosnia?
279
00:12:27,425 --> 00:12:28,745
Yes, sir.
280
00:12:28,785 --> 00:12:30,265
Please.
Oh, thank you.
281
00:12:30,305 --> 00:12:32,505
Bit of a gear shift, though,
desk work.
282
00:12:32,545 --> 00:12:36,065
Well, I wanted a bit more normality,
I suppose, for my family,
283
00:12:36,105 --> 00:12:37,265
and I'd, um...
284
00:12:37,305 --> 00:12:40,065
I'd seen it with my own,
you know.
285
00:12:40,105 --> 00:12:43,225
When I was growing up,
my father in the air force
286
00:12:43,265 --> 00:12:45,665
and my brother in the navy,
and, uh...
287
00:12:45,705 --> 00:12:48,545
Although... Well, my mother does
something altogether different,
288
00:12:48,585 --> 00:12:51,065
she designs sets for plays.
289
00:12:51,105 --> 00:12:53,305
Ah, the theatre. My, my.
290
00:12:53,345 --> 00:12:55,865
And you were never tempted
to tread the boards yourself?
291
00:12:55,905 --> 00:12:59,465
No, no, God, no.
Military life's a much better fit.
292
00:12:59,505 --> 00:13:00,705
It's, uh...
293
00:13:00,745 --> 00:13:04,345
Yeah, well, it's wholly away
from the limelight, isn't it?
294
00:13:04,385 --> 00:13:06,825
A uniform anonymises you
295
00:13:06,865 --> 00:13:10,145
and puts you in the service for
something else, something greater.
296
00:13:11,185 --> 00:13:13,185
Still, doesn't mean one can't enjoy
297
00:13:13,225 --> 00:13:16,065
a bit of the old
theatrical razzmatazz, eh?
298
00:13:16,105 --> 00:13:18,705
# I am the very model
Of a modern Major General...
299
00:13:18,745 --> 00:13:19,745
Gilbert and Sullivan.
300
00:13:19,785 --> 00:13:21,945
My other used to play it for us
on the piano.
301
00:13:21,985 --> 00:13:24,945
# I know the kings of England and
I quote the fights historical...
302
00:13:24,985 --> 00:13:28,505
BOTH: # From Marathon to Waterloo
In order categorical
303
00:13:28,545 --> 00:13:29,545
Yeah.
304
00:13:29,585 --> 00:13:33,425
# I'm very well acquainted too
With matters mathematical
305
00:13:33,465 --> 00:13:37,665
# I understand equations
Both the simple and quadratical
306
00:13:37,705 --> 00:13:41,905
# About binomial theorem
I am teaming with a lot o' news
307
00:13:41,945 --> 00:13:46,465
# With many cheerful facts
About the square of the hypotenuse
308
00:13:46,505 --> 00:13:49,985
# I'm very good at integral...
# I know our mythic history...
309
00:13:50,025 --> 00:13:51,745
# I answer hard acrostics...
310
00:13:51,785 --> 00:13:52,985
Oh, dear, no.
311
00:13:53,025 --> 00:13:54,945
What's gone wrong?
We're on different verses.
312
00:13:54,985 --> 00:13:56,985
I think you jumped
to the King Arthur bit.
313
00:13:57,025 --> 00:13:59,225
Well, that is the next bit,
isn't it? I don't think it...
314
00:13:59,265 --> 00:14:02,385
But it doesn't matter,
we can go from your verse if...
315
00:14:02,425 --> 00:14:04,585
No, no, the moment's gone now.
316
00:14:12,645 --> 00:14:14,525
CHUCKLES
Blimey.
317
00:14:14,565 --> 00:14:16,285
Maybe I should be paying
for lunch, then.
318
00:14:16,325 --> 00:14:18,005
Oh, Chris, don't be silly.
319
00:14:18,045 --> 00:14:21,645
My treat. You've put
your own house on the line, Paul.
320
00:14:21,685 --> 00:14:24,285
Is this a game show
or a Mafia racket?
321
00:14:24,325 --> 00:14:26,125
It's fine.
322
00:14:26,165 --> 00:14:27,925
As long as we get the revenue,
which we will,
323
00:14:27,965 --> 00:14:29,885
from people phoning in,
which they will.
324
00:14:29,925 --> 00:14:33,605
Otherwise YOU, Paul Smith,
have to put your own money...
325
00:14:33,645 --> 00:14:35,205
I mean, if someone...
326
00:14:35,245 --> 00:14:37,485
A million quid, my God.
327
00:14:37,525 --> 00:14:41,125
Not if you, Chris Tarrant,
agree to present the show.
328
00:14:41,165 --> 00:14:44,205
A guaranteed hit.
329
00:14:44,245 --> 00:14:45,925
People will love it.
330
00:14:45,965 --> 00:14:48,405
You can sign them a cheque yourself.
Your name.
331
00:14:48,445 --> 00:14:49,725
Oh, me?
332
00:14:49,765 --> 00:14:51,245
So I'm liable now too?
333
00:14:51,285 --> 00:14:52,605
As a gesture, that's all.
334
00:14:52,645 --> 00:14:55,045
Look, we'll film a pilot,
test the idea.
335
00:14:55,085 --> 00:14:56,285
At least do that.
336
00:14:57,485 --> 00:14:59,885
Come on, how can you not want
to be a part of this?
337
00:14:59,925 --> 00:15:01,885
It'll be...
338
00:15:01,925 --> 00:15:03,565
fun.
339
00:15:03,605 --> 00:15:08,845
# You take me over the rainbow
And up to Cloud Nine
340
00:15:08,885 --> 00:15:13,205
# I'm flying high
Like a bird in the sky... #
341
00:15:13,245 --> 00:15:16,445
APPLAUSE
Welcome back to Cash Mountain.
342
00:15:16,485 --> 00:15:18,445
OK, contestants...
343
00:15:18,485 --> 00:15:21,405
Go tighter.
Stand by...
344
00:15:21,445 --> 00:15:22,725
'You will hear three beeps.
345
00:15:22,765 --> 00:15:26,005
'After the third beep,
four possible answers will appear.
346
00:15:26,045 --> 00:15:28,445
'The fastest
to select the right answer
347
00:15:28,485 --> 00:15:32,005
'will be next in our hot seat
to play for £1 million.'
348
00:15:32,045 --> 00:15:34,405
OK, here we go.
Tighter, OK.
349
00:15:34,445 --> 00:15:39,565
Which of these countries
has a Union Jack on its flag?
350
00:15:39,605 --> 00:15:41,165
'Four possible answers.'
351
00:15:45,525 --> 00:15:47,285
Look, before you say anything,
I know.
352
00:15:47,325 --> 00:15:48,645
I'm holding my hands up.
353
00:15:48,685 --> 00:15:50,005
The pilot looks a mess.
354
00:15:50,045 --> 00:15:53,405
The design is all wrong.
Mess is a bit harsh, but it's too...
355
00:15:53,445 --> 00:15:54,645
Happy clappy.
356
00:15:54,685 --> 00:15:57,205
It's too Saturday night,
jazz hands, it's all tits and teeth.
357
00:15:57,245 --> 00:15:58,925
Can we still say tits and teeth?
358
00:15:58,965 --> 00:16:00,925
But we'll find it, David, trust us.
359
00:16:00,965 --> 00:16:03,485
Please. Something harder, darker.
For the drama.
360
00:16:03,525 --> 00:16:05,125
We want the audience to be...
361
00:16:05,165 --> 00:16:07,045
All right, listen. Listen.
362
00:16:07,085 --> 00:16:09,005
This is Jeff, our scheduler.
363
00:16:10,405 --> 00:16:12,205
Schedule. You...
364
00:16:12,245 --> 00:16:14,405
What do you mean?
Do you mean that we're on?
365
00:16:14,445 --> 00:16:16,445
We're gonna try and strip it.
366
00:16:16,485 --> 00:16:18,805
Lift seven days
out of our autumn schedule
367
00:16:18,845 --> 00:16:22,365
and run it every night for a week
at peak times.
368
00:16:22,405 --> 00:16:24,165
Event television.
369
00:16:24,205 --> 00:16:26,045
Strip a game show?
370
00:16:26,085 --> 00:16:27,925
Peak times, same time
every night of the week?
371
00:16:27,965 --> 00:16:29,805
There's something in it.
372
00:16:29,845 --> 00:16:31,205
In the DNA of the game.
373
00:16:31,245 --> 00:16:32,645
Watching it.
374
00:16:32,685 --> 00:16:34,805
It's really exciting.
375
00:16:34,845 --> 00:16:37,965
But yes, it looks shit right now,
so fix that,
376
00:16:38,005 --> 00:16:41,165
and fast. Oh, and the title's crap.
377
00:16:41,205 --> 00:16:42,365
It needs a new name.
378
00:16:45,765 --> 00:16:48,405
THEY LAUGH
379
00:16:48,445 --> 00:16:50,405
Oh, my God! Oh, my... Oh, my...
380
00:16:50,445 --> 00:16:51,965
Oh, my God.
381
00:16:52,005 --> 00:16:53,325
Ha-ha-ha!
382
00:16:53,365 --> 00:16:54,725
Whoo! Ah!
383
00:16:55,845 --> 00:16:57,085
Drama.
384
00:16:57,125 --> 00:16:58,685
Tension.
385
00:16:58,725 --> 00:17:01,365
Drama in-built into everything.
386
00:17:01,405 --> 00:17:03,965
Including the chair.
387
00:17:04,005 --> 00:17:05,245
Remember, um...
388
00:17:05,285 --> 00:17:06,645
Mastermind?
389
00:17:06,685 --> 00:17:08,245
That set was designed
by a chap
390
00:17:08,285 --> 00:17:10,445
who had been interrogated
by the Gestapo.
391
00:17:13,285 --> 00:17:16,485
I want audio speakers
inside the seat,
392
00:17:16,525 --> 00:17:18,805
vibrating with heavy sound,
393
00:17:18,845 --> 00:17:21,605
pulsating up through the contestant.
394
00:17:21,645 --> 00:17:24,565
Gah-gung, gah-gung, OK?
395
00:17:24,605 --> 00:17:26,725
Next, the lights.
396
00:17:26,765 --> 00:17:28,885
Darker.
397
00:17:28,925 --> 00:17:31,645
WHISTLING
'WHO WANTS TO BE A MILLIONAIRE'
398
00:17:37,805 --> 00:17:41,165
# Who wants to be a millionaire?
399
00:17:41,205 --> 00:17:42,885
I do.
400
00:17:42,925 --> 00:17:44,845
APPLAUSE
401
00:17:47,365 --> 00:17:49,525
Hello and welcome
to tonight's edition
402
00:17:49,565 --> 00:17:52,125
of Who Wants To Be A Millionaire.
403
00:17:52,165 --> 00:17:54,405
All you have to do
is call this number.
404
00:17:54,445 --> 00:17:58,645
Who Wants To Be A Millionaire,
Thursday at eight, ITV.
405
00:17:58,685 --> 00:18:00,685
CAR PULLS UP
406
00:18:11,205 --> 00:18:13,365
Come on, it's about to start!
What's about to start?
407
00:18:13,405 --> 00:18:16,245
That new quiz show that's been
plastered everywhere. Adrian's here.
408
00:18:16,285 --> 00:18:18,445
Adrian, your brother?
I thought it was our night in.
409
00:18:18,485 --> 00:18:21,885
Oh, sorry, it's just a thing
that we do together, that's all.
410
00:18:21,925 --> 00:18:24,645
Come on, it's fun.
411
00:18:24,685 --> 00:18:26,045
Hello.
412
00:18:26,085 --> 00:18:27,525
Adrian?
413
00:18:27,565 --> 00:18:30,125
Um... I brought pizza.
We already have pizza.
414
00:18:30,165 --> 00:18:32,565
Your message said, "No pizza."
Yes, "No pizza."
415
00:18:32,605 --> 00:18:36,085
Yes, as in, "We don't have any
pizza, no pizza, so bring pizza."
416
00:18:36,125 --> 00:18:39,525
No, no. "Pizza, we already have lots
of pizza, don't bring pizza."
417
00:18:39,565 --> 00:18:41,205
Stop saying pizza!
418
00:18:41,245 --> 00:18:43,645
We're about to make
television history.
419
00:18:43,685 --> 00:18:50,005
For the first time on UK TV, we have
a top prize available of £1 million.
420
00:18:50,045 --> 00:18:53,245
'And it could be won here tonight.
421
00:18:53,285 --> 00:18:55,405
'No tricks, no traps.
422
00:18:55,445 --> 00:18:59,645
Contestants can leave here tonight
with big cash prizes.
423
00:19:02,805 --> 00:19:05,205
Two, tight in.
424
00:19:05,245 --> 00:19:07,525
Four, pull back.
425
00:19:13,605 --> 00:19:15,365
I'm gonna take the money, Chris.
426
00:19:15,405 --> 00:19:16,565
Just there.
427
00:19:16,605 --> 00:19:19,205
God. SO dull.
428
00:19:19,245 --> 00:19:21,485
APPLAUSE
429
00:19:21,525 --> 00:19:24,565
It gives me SO much pleasure
430
00:19:24,605 --> 00:19:28,885
to give you a cheque for £64,000!
431
00:19:28,925 --> 00:19:31,685
Come on.
Why isn't it taking off yet?
432
00:19:31,725 --> 00:19:33,085
Where's the bloody tension?
433
00:19:33,125 --> 00:19:36,325
It's fine. It's fine, Paul,
it just needs bedding in.
434
00:19:36,365 --> 00:19:37,565
Be patient.
435
00:19:37,605 --> 00:19:41,165
As Graham leaves
with 64,000 smackeroonies.
436
00:19:41,205 --> 00:19:43,925
Good heavens. £64,000.
437
00:19:43,965 --> 00:19:46,085
That's ridiculous.
438
00:19:46,125 --> 00:19:47,565
Shh, yes, we know.
439
00:19:47,605 --> 00:19:49,565
Come on.
440
00:19:49,605 --> 00:19:50,885
I'm not sure yet, you know.
441
00:19:50,925 --> 00:19:52,925
This all seems a bit dramatic.
442
00:19:54,365 --> 00:19:56,005
Let's see who got there quickest.
443
00:19:56,045 --> 00:19:59,205
The next fastest finger
is Rachel Da Costa!
444
00:19:59,245 --> 00:20:00,285
Come on, come on.
445
00:20:00,325 --> 00:20:03,085
'So, Rachel, what would you do
if you won £1 million?'
446
00:20:03,125 --> 00:20:07,845
I would clear all mine
and my fiance's debts,
447
00:20:07,885 --> 00:20:11,245
sort out our business,
buy a house and get married.
448
00:20:11,285 --> 00:20:13,085
'You could get married
tomorrow morning.'
449
00:20:13,125 --> 00:20:15,885
The business isn't in a situation
where we could do it at the moment.
450
00:20:15,925 --> 00:20:16,925
God, bless her.
451
00:20:16,965 --> 00:20:21,925
Well, you are only 15 questions
away from winning £1 million,
452
00:20:21,965 --> 00:20:24,925
'so let's play...'
Just insane.
453
00:20:24,965 --> 00:20:26,005
For £100...
454
00:20:26,045 --> 00:20:27,725
For £1,000...
455
00:20:27,765 --> 00:20:29,125
For £8,000...
456
00:20:29,165 --> 00:20:32,285
Oh, uh... Humphrey Bogart's
cafe owner in Casablanca is...
457
00:20:32,325 --> 00:20:34,005
Sam, isn't it? "Play it again, Sam."
458
00:20:34,045 --> 00:20:35,925
No. Common misconception.
459
00:20:35,965 --> 00:20:37,285
It's Rick.
460
00:20:37,325 --> 00:20:38,525
Definitely, the cafe owner.
461
00:20:38,565 --> 00:20:39,765
Rick.
When did you last see it?
462
00:20:39,805 --> 00:20:41,925
I've never seen it, but, you know,
463
00:20:41,965 --> 00:20:43,685
you learn things,
encyclopaedias, books.
464
00:20:43,725 --> 00:20:45,925
Might be nice to actually watch
the films now and again.
465
00:20:45,965 --> 00:20:48,845
Don't have the time.
Yeah, yeah, tricky.
466
00:20:48,885 --> 00:20:51,405
'I'll go for Rick.
'Is the correct answer!
467
00:20:51,445 --> 00:20:54,085
'You've just won £8,000!'
468
00:20:54,125 --> 00:20:56,685
For £16,000,
469
00:20:56,725 --> 00:21:01,485
which English county
has a border with only one other?
470
00:21:01,525 --> 00:21:02,565
Devon,
471
00:21:02,605 --> 00:21:03,805
Norfolk,
472
00:21:03,845 --> 00:21:05,045
Cornwall,
473
00:21:05,085 --> 00:21:06,165
Kent?
474
00:21:06,205 --> 00:21:08,045
God, look, she's shaking.
475
00:21:08,085 --> 00:21:10,245
Why?
Cos she wants to get married.
476
00:21:10,285 --> 00:21:12,125
Phone my dad.
Your dad?
477
00:21:12,165 --> 00:21:13,245
LAUGHTER
478
00:21:13,285 --> 00:21:15,045
PHONE DIALLING TONE
479
00:21:15,085 --> 00:21:16,245
'Hello?'
480
00:21:16,285 --> 00:21:18,125
Jack, uh... it's Chris Tarrant here.
481
00:21:18,165 --> 00:21:19,605
'Hello.'
Hello, Jack.
482
00:21:19,645 --> 00:21:21,365
We've got your daughter
live on the show.
483
00:21:21,405 --> 00:21:23,325
She has £8,000.
484
00:21:23,365 --> 00:21:25,365
That wedding's getting
a little bit closer,
485
00:21:25,405 --> 00:21:27,525
but she's not quite there yet...
486
00:21:27,565 --> 00:21:29,245
Move in closer.
487
00:21:29,285 --> 00:21:30,285
Closer.
488
00:21:30,325 --> 00:21:32,285
..so no pressure.
'I understand.'
489
00:21:32,325 --> 00:21:35,405
The next voice you hear
will be Rachel's.
490
00:21:35,445 --> 00:21:37,565
Rachel, talk to your dad.
491
00:21:37,605 --> 00:21:40,405
Which English county
has a border with only one other?
492
00:21:40,445 --> 00:21:43,165
Devon, Norfolk, Cornwall, or Kent?
493
00:21:43,205 --> 00:21:44,525
I have no idea.
494
00:21:44,565 --> 00:21:46,325
GROANING
495
00:21:46,365 --> 00:21:47,765
Oh, my God.
496
00:21:47,805 --> 00:21:50,205
'I'm sorry, Rachel,
I can't help you on geography.
497
00:21:50,245 --> 00:21:51,965
'Um... Give me again.'
498
00:21:52,005 --> 00:21:54,765
Devon, Norfolk, Cornwall or Kent.
499
00:21:54,805 --> 00:21:57,085
'Devon, Norfolk...'
500
00:21:57,125 --> 00:21:59,605
Dad, help me.
501
00:21:59,645 --> 00:22:03,125
'Take the eight grand, Rachel.'
502
00:22:03,165 --> 00:22:05,685
I'll take the money.
503
00:22:05,725 --> 00:22:07,925
Oh. Let's give her a big hand,
ladies and gentlemen.
504
00:22:07,965 --> 00:22:09,765
£8,000!
505
00:22:09,805 --> 00:22:10,885
APPLAUSE
506
00:22:10,925 --> 00:22:13,245
I mean, £8,000
is a very large amount of money.
507
00:22:13,285 --> 00:22:15,125
That wedding just got
a little bit closer.
508
00:22:15,165 --> 00:22:17,765
Oh, Dad!
509
00:22:17,805 --> 00:22:19,925
Uh...
510
00:22:19,965 --> 00:22:21,845
Just before you go,
511
00:22:21,885 --> 00:22:26,045
uh... suppose you had answered,
512
00:22:26,085 --> 00:22:28,085
what would your answer have been?
513
00:22:28,125 --> 00:22:29,285
Cornwall.
514
00:22:29,325 --> 00:22:31,525
GROANING
515
00:22:31,565 --> 00:22:33,245
Pfft!
HE LAUGHS
516
00:22:33,285 --> 00:22:34,965
Oh, Rachel.
It's not funny.
517
00:22:35,005 --> 00:22:36,885
{\an8}I'm sorry.
You would have won £16,000.
518
00:22:36,925 --> 00:22:38,525
{\an8}I'm sorry, but look,
what am I saying?
519
00:22:38,565 --> 00:22:40,205
Oh, my goodness.
520
00:22:40,245 --> 00:22:41,885
It works.
521
00:22:41,925 --> 00:22:43,685
Oh, grow a pair, would you?
522
00:22:43,725 --> 00:22:45,205
We've got a hit on our hands.
523
00:22:45,245 --> 00:22:46,925
Ha-ha!
524
00:22:46,965 --> 00:22:48,845
Well, if you want to be
in with a chance to play,
525
00:22:48,885 --> 00:22:50,845
all you have to do
is call this number.
526
00:22:54,525 --> 00:22:58,104
PHONES RING
527
00:23:01,445 --> 00:23:06,405
PHONE RINGS
528
00:23:06,445 --> 00:23:08,765
All right, Claudia. Hit me.
529
00:23:08,805 --> 00:23:11,845
Hit you?
Kiss you, marry you, more like.
530
00:23:11,885 --> 00:23:13,765
We got 9 million.
531
00:23:13,805 --> 00:23:16,245
9 million viewers!
532
00:23:19,325 --> 00:23:20,845
PHONES RING
533
00:23:25,405 --> 00:23:28,373
Nothing to say
you can't try more than once.
534
00:23:30,765 --> 00:23:32,525
'Hello.'
Hello.
535
00:23:32,565 --> 00:23:35,485
'Hello and welcome to Celador
and the Who Wants To Be...'
536
00:23:35,525 --> 00:23:38,325
Hello and welcome
to tonight's edition of...
537
00:23:40,805 --> 00:23:43,165
Paul Smith.
16 million.
538
00:23:46,405 --> 00:23:49,445
Walking away with a cheque for
£8,000!
539
00:23:49,485 --> 00:23:52,005
£64,000!
540
00:23:52,045 --> 00:23:56,725
£125,000.
Oh, my God.
541
00:23:56,765 --> 00:23:59,925
I'm going on!
I'm going on the show!
542
00:23:59,965 --> 00:24:01,885
Oh, my gosh!
Bravo!
543
00:24:01,925 --> 00:24:03,325
How many times did you have to call?
544
00:24:03,365 --> 00:24:05,125
I don't know.
545
00:24:05,165 --> 00:24:07,565
50, maybe? Anyway, and you can talk.
546
00:24:07,605 --> 00:24:09,085
Anyway,
547
00:24:09,125 --> 00:24:10,965
do you wanna be my guest?
548
00:24:12,965 --> 00:24:14,205
HE LAUGHS
549
00:24:19,005 --> 00:24:21,525
194 calls I made to get here.
550
00:24:21,565 --> 00:24:23,205
Arm and a leg it's costing me.
551
00:24:23,245 --> 00:24:25,605
Well, that's nothing.
I did over 300.
552
00:24:25,645 --> 00:24:27,405
You just need a system, that's all.
553
00:24:27,445 --> 00:24:28,725
Not willy-nilly.
554
00:24:28,765 --> 00:24:30,925
Did you know that they publish
the call volumes
555
00:24:30,965 --> 00:24:31,965
on the website?
Website.
556
00:24:32,005 --> 00:24:33,605
Yes. You know, a few of us fans
557
00:24:33,645 --> 00:24:36,645
are starting to share
a little bit of intel.
558
00:24:36,685 --> 00:24:39,365
You know, information
here and there.
559
00:24:39,405 --> 00:24:42,365
If you're serious about this,
and you have to be serious.
560
00:24:42,405 --> 00:24:44,565
I'm serious. Uh...
561
00:24:44,605 --> 00:24:47,565
We're serious.
562
00:24:47,605 --> 00:24:49,045
What?
563
00:24:49,085 --> 00:24:51,085
I could give you the number
of someone who...
564
00:24:51,125 --> 00:24:53,245
sort of...
565
00:24:53,285 --> 00:24:56,365
helps quiz fans onto the show.
566
00:25:01,485 --> 00:25:04,645
CHRIS TARRANT: 'Put these days of
the week into alphabetical order.'
567
00:25:06,085 --> 00:25:09,645
Sunday, Wednesday, Monday, Thursday.
568
00:25:12,165 --> 00:25:14,325
And the person who was fastest was
569
00:25:14,365 --> 00:25:17,045
Maggie Pierce in four seconds!
570
00:25:17,085 --> 00:25:18,605
Well done, my darling. Come on up!
571
00:25:18,645 --> 00:25:20,525
APPLAUSE
572
00:25:20,565 --> 00:25:22,525
And the winner is...
573
00:25:22,565 --> 00:25:24,189
Who Wants To Be A Millionaire!
574
00:25:24,229 --> 00:25:25,495
Who Wants To Be A Millionaire!
575
00:25:25,535 --> 00:25:27,245
Who Wants To Be A Millionaire!
576
00:25:27,285 --> 00:25:29,805
Who Wants To Be A Millionaire.
Who Wants To Be A Millionaire.
577
00:25:29,845 --> 00:25:31,165
Who Wants To Be A Millionaire!
578
00:25:31,205 --> 00:25:32,685
Who Wants To Be A Millionaire.
579
00:25:32,725 --> 00:25:34,445
CHEERING
580
00:25:34,485 --> 00:25:37,045
19 million.
581
00:25:37,085 --> 00:25:38,205
19 million!
582
00:25:38,245 --> 00:25:40,685
'That's one third
of the population, Paul.'
583
00:25:40,725 --> 00:25:42,245
Thank you, Claudia.
584
00:25:42,285 --> 00:25:43,365
Paul!
585
00:25:43,405 --> 00:25:45,805
Reception just said
the Americans are here.
586
00:25:45,845 --> 00:25:48,165
Jesus Christ, it's ABC,
587
00:25:48,205 --> 00:25:49,605
which is Disney.
588
00:25:49,645 --> 00:25:51,445
It's owned by Disney.
589
00:25:51,485 --> 00:25:53,485
Basically, Mickey Mouse
is coming up the stairs.
590
00:25:53,525 --> 00:25:55,125
Could you just...
591
00:25:55,165 --> 00:25:56,165
a little cool.
592
00:26:02,925 --> 00:26:05,325
Mr Smith.
593
00:26:10,645 --> 00:26:12,005
No, he didn't. He actually knelt?
594
00:26:12,045 --> 00:26:15,165
No, he did. He knelt on the floor.
595
00:26:15,205 --> 00:26:17,485
We've just sold entertainment
to the Americans.
596
00:26:17,525 --> 00:26:19,765
That is entertainment
to the Americans.
597
00:26:19,805 --> 00:26:21,605
The Americans!
598
00:26:21,645 --> 00:26:24,059
Hey-hey!
599
00:26:25,845 --> 00:26:27,725
'The game show
Who Wants To Be A Millionaire
600
00:26:27,765 --> 00:26:30,485
'has now been sold to multiple
territories in the US.
601
00:26:30,525 --> 00:26:31,685
'CEO Michael Eisner said,
602
00:26:31,725 --> 00:26:33,836
' "Who knew that the fate of ABC
603
00:26:33,876 --> 00:26:36,285
' "would be saved by
a little British game show?"
604
00:26:36,325 --> 00:26:37,845
'It's helped the ABC network
605
00:26:37,885 --> 00:26:41,285
'leap from fourth in the ratings war
in the United States to first.
606
00:26:41,325 --> 00:26:43,005
'The millionaire show,
607
00:26:43,045 --> 00:26:45,525
'which has attracted audiences
of 19 million in the UK,
608
00:26:45,565 --> 00:26:48,445
'where it's presented
by Chris Tarrant...'
609
00:27:01,805 --> 00:27:03,645
'Hello.'
610
00:27:03,685 --> 00:27:05,365
Hello. Paddy Spooner?
611
00:27:05,405 --> 00:27:07,925
Mr Spooner.
612
00:27:28,370 --> 00:27:30,690
You weren't followed?
You came alone?
613
00:27:30,730 --> 00:27:33,850
Alone? No, you didn't say to come
alone, I've brought my kids.
614
00:27:33,890 --> 00:27:35,690
You what?
615
00:27:35,730 --> 00:27:37,130
I've got my kids outside.
616
00:27:38,570 --> 00:27:40,570
You've brought your bloody kids.
617
00:27:42,050 --> 00:27:43,330
Do you know who I am?
618
00:27:45,170 --> 00:27:47,730
You're Paddy Spooner.
619
00:27:47,770 --> 00:27:49,330
You got in the chair three times,
620
00:27:49,370 --> 00:27:52,410
even though the rules say you can
only sit in the hot seat once.
621
00:27:52,450 --> 00:27:53,810
No, three different versions.
622
00:27:53,850 --> 00:27:55,010
Three countries.
623
00:27:55,050 --> 00:27:58,250
Australia, Ireland, UK.
624
00:27:58,290 --> 00:28:00,010
They don't check.
625
00:28:00,050 --> 00:28:02,050
There's a lot they don't check.
626
00:28:03,770 --> 00:28:06,450
I've been working with some people.
627
00:28:08,010 --> 00:28:12,810
An underground, sort of, community
has sprung up.
628
00:28:12,850 --> 00:28:17,850
Fans of the show that have grown
into an unlikely resistance
629
00:28:17,890 --> 00:28:20,050
in the quiet little villages
of England.
630
00:28:20,090 --> 00:28:22,250
The perfect place
to plan our attack.
631
00:28:22,290 --> 00:28:24,090
Um... Attack what?
632
00:28:24,130 --> 00:28:26,130
The show, of course.
633
00:28:26,170 --> 00:28:28,610
Breaking into the show.
634
00:28:28,650 --> 00:28:30,210
In the world of quizzing,
635
00:28:30,250 --> 00:28:32,810
the man who has the questions
may be king,
636
00:28:32,850 --> 00:28:34,850
but the man who has all the answers
637
00:28:34,890 --> 00:28:36,090
is God.
638
00:28:36,130 --> 00:28:39,610
To the nearest metre,
how long is the Humber Bridge?
639
00:28:39,650 --> 00:28:41,930
..is the Mississippi River?
..the Titanic?
640
00:28:41,970 --> 00:28:44,130
Of the thousands of people
that call the hotline,
641
00:28:44,170 --> 00:28:47,010
the show selects
a random 100 numbers
642
00:28:47,050 --> 00:28:49,250
to call back with a question
643
00:28:49,290 --> 00:28:52,690
that's all but impossible
to get exactly right.
644
00:28:52,730 --> 00:28:56,250
How many months in total
did Queen Victoria reign for?
645
00:28:56,290 --> 00:28:57,370
Months?
646
00:28:57,410 --> 00:28:58,570
Oh, heck.
647
00:28:58,610 --> 00:29:00,450
What the makers hadn't predicted was
648
00:29:00,490 --> 00:29:03,570
that people would do
what they tend to do.
649
00:29:03,610 --> 00:29:05,970
Hello, Paddy? It's Maggie.
'Talk to each other.'
650
00:29:06,010 --> 00:29:07,743
The "closest to" question is...
651
00:29:07,783 --> 00:29:12,050
The damn fools are using
the same "closest to" questions
652
00:29:12,090 --> 00:29:15,010
in rotation time and again.
653
00:29:15,050 --> 00:29:17,690
All you need is a network.
654
00:29:17,730 --> 00:29:19,410
Or...
655
00:29:19,450 --> 00:29:21,130
as we call ourselves,
656
00:29:21,170 --> 00:29:23,170
The Syndicate.
657
00:29:25,810 --> 00:29:28,730
So, first trick is,
when you get the call back,
658
00:29:28,770 --> 00:29:31,010
pretend you're not who you are.
659
00:29:31,050 --> 00:29:32,330
Pretend you're not in.
660
00:29:32,370 --> 00:29:34,490
This gives us time to prepare.
661
00:29:34,530 --> 00:29:37,170
PUTS ON DIFFERENT VOICE:
Hi. I'm afraid Adrian Pollock
662
00:29:37,210 --> 00:29:39,170
won't be in until later tonight.
663
00:29:39,210 --> 00:29:41,530
Could you call back then?
664
00:29:41,570 --> 00:29:43,210
They always say yes,
665
00:29:43,250 --> 00:29:45,170
then you call me.
Hello, Paddy?
666
00:29:45,210 --> 00:29:47,090
And I...
667
00:29:47,130 --> 00:29:48,850
mobilise.
668
00:29:48,890 --> 00:29:52,490
And if you know
of any other potential clients
669
00:29:52,530 --> 00:29:54,850
that live too far away for me,
670
00:29:54,890 --> 00:29:57,930
I can always dispatch
a separate Syndicate member
671
00:29:57,970 --> 00:30:00,290
from one of my regional hubs.
672
00:30:00,330 --> 00:30:05,290
How many months in total
did Queen Victoria reign for?
673
00:30:05,330 --> 00:30:08,530
I'm going to say 780.
674
00:30:08,570 --> 00:30:09,810
Once you're in the chair,
675
00:30:09,850 --> 00:30:13,850
there's a final
highly bespoke service
676
00:30:13,890 --> 00:30:15,370
that we offer
677
00:30:15,410 --> 00:30:17,290
on your Phone A Friend.
678
00:30:19,250 --> 00:30:21,010
There's a room..
679
00:30:21,050 --> 00:30:25,490
KNOCK AT DOOR
..in London where we gather.
680
00:30:25,530 --> 00:30:28,450
The finest pub quizzers in the land
681
00:30:28,490 --> 00:30:32,290
secretly, silently, in solidarity.
682
00:30:33,370 --> 00:30:34,970
Now, you give the producers
683
00:30:35,010 --> 00:30:38,690
one of a dozen special numbers
we have around the country,
684
00:30:38,730 --> 00:30:41,930
all diverted here,
685
00:30:41,970 --> 00:30:45,450
to this one phone.
686
00:30:45,490 --> 00:30:47,130
I want to phone a friend.
687
00:30:47,170 --> 00:30:49,970
All right. Uh... Who you gonna call?
688
00:30:50,010 --> 00:30:52,010
My cousin Geoffrey.
689
00:30:52,050 --> 00:30:54,970
'Geoffrey? It's Chris Tarrant here
from Who Wants To Be A Millionaire.'
690
00:30:55,010 --> 00:30:56,930
Yes?
'I've got your cousin Maggie here.
691
00:30:56,970 --> 00:30:59,250
'I hope you're sat quiet and alone.
692
00:30:59,290 --> 00:31:02,410
'The next voice you hear
will be Maggie's.
693
00:31:02,450 --> 00:31:05,050
'Geoffrey, which chemical element
is named...'
694
00:31:05,090 --> 00:31:09,650
All we ask is a modest 25%.
695
00:31:09,690 --> 00:31:11,530
Ah.
696
00:31:11,570 --> 00:31:13,090
Well, I...
697
00:31:13,130 --> 00:31:16,130
I'm grateful for all the hints
and tips and things,
698
00:31:16,170 --> 00:31:19,370
but I'm not sure whether
I would need such...
699
00:31:19,410 --> 00:31:20,530
Well, your services.
700
00:31:20,570 --> 00:31:23,610
I'm sure that when the time comes,
701
00:31:23,650 --> 00:31:25,850
you will make the right call.
702
00:31:32,450 --> 00:31:37,690
And the person who was fastest
was Owen Masters in 4.2 seconds.
703
00:31:37,730 --> 00:31:39,730
THUNDER RUMBLES
704
00:31:51,490 --> 00:31:55,370
'Put these vegetables in order of
size from smallest to biggest.
705
00:31:55,410 --> 00:31:57,690
'Onion, Brussels sprout,
cabbage, pea.'
706
00:32:01,170 --> 00:32:04,170
OK, let's see who got it right
in the fastest time.
707
00:32:04,210 --> 00:32:06,810
It's Shelley Price in 3.1...
708
00:32:09,410 --> 00:32:11,810
5.6. Not good enough.
709
00:32:11,850 --> 00:32:12,850
Again.
710
00:32:15,810 --> 00:32:20,210
'And the person who was fastest
was Gus Colley in 4.5 seconds.'
711
00:32:20,250 --> 00:32:21,810
APPLAUSE
712
00:32:27,930 --> 00:32:29,730
Yes!
713
00:32:29,770 --> 00:32:32,250
APPLAUSE
714
00:32:33,490 --> 00:32:34,490
Camera one.
715
00:32:34,530 --> 00:32:37,210
Right. This is Adrian Pollock.
We've seen him before.
716
00:32:37,250 --> 00:32:39,490
It's his fourth time
in the Fastest Finger seat.
717
00:32:39,530 --> 00:32:41,850
Fourth? How? Wait, what?
718
00:32:41,890 --> 00:32:44,690
Yeah, I know, something's up.
I thought everyone is chosen random.
719
00:32:44,730 --> 00:32:46,290
And yet, there he is.
720
00:32:47,450 --> 00:32:50,370
Well, a coincidence, then,
let's hope.
721
00:32:50,410 --> 00:32:53,810
Yeah, but is it me, or have they
all started to look a bit...
722
00:32:53,850 --> 00:32:55,170
the same?
723
00:32:55,210 --> 00:32:58,330
All a bit white and well-to-do,
724
00:32:58,370 --> 00:33:00,850
middle classy and Southerny and...
725
00:33:00,890 --> 00:33:03,250
'Adrian Pollock from Wiltshire.'
726
00:33:03,290 --> 00:33:05,570
..white.
727
00:33:05,610 --> 00:33:08,610
We'll have to tell Chris, cos it'll
be weird if he doesn't mention it.
728
00:33:08,650 --> 00:33:10,890
It's four times.
729
00:33:10,930 --> 00:33:12,730
He won't be happy.
730
00:33:12,770 --> 00:33:14,650
Yeah, well, that makes two of us.
731
00:33:15,970 --> 00:33:19,770
'Half of ten, third of nine,
quarter of eight, fifth of five.'
732
00:33:21,730 --> 00:33:25,930
Who's the fastest?
Adrian Pollock in 4.3 seconds.
733
00:33:25,970 --> 00:33:30,170
Well, at least he can only
play the actual game once,
734
00:33:30,210 --> 00:33:32,410
so we'll never have to
see him again.
735
00:33:34,850 --> 00:33:36,290
You ready to play for £1 million?
736
00:33:36,330 --> 00:33:38,810
Yeah.
Come on, then.
737
00:33:38,850 --> 00:33:41,250
So, um... you won't believe this,
738
00:33:41,290 --> 00:33:44,450
but this is actually Adrian's
fourth time in the studio,
739
00:33:44,490 --> 00:33:46,090
but his first time in the chair.
740
00:33:46,130 --> 00:33:47,570
You've been here more than I have.
741
00:33:47,610 --> 00:33:49,010
LAUGHTER
Well, you know,
742
00:33:49,050 --> 00:33:51,530
some people wanna jump out of planes
and I just...
743
00:33:51,570 --> 00:33:52,930
This is what I want to do.
744
00:33:52,970 --> 00:33:55,450
You're a strange, sad, little man.
745
00:33:55,490 --> 00:33:56,530
LAUGHTER
746
00:33:56,570 --> 00:33:59,650
For 64,000, in the US and Canada,
747
00:33:59,690 --> 00:34:03,290
Labor Day is celebrated
in which month?
748
00:34:03,330 --> 00:34:08,010
You've used your 50-50, you've
just got left May or September.
749
00:34:10,810 --> 00:34:13,170
I will use my Phone A Friend.
750
00:34:13,210 --> 00:34:14,690
All right. Who you gonna call?
751
00:34:17,130 --> 00:34:18,290
Actually, um...
752
00:34:20,050 --> 00:34:21,970
Actually, uh...
753
00:34:22,010 --> 00:34:24,410
I was going to, um...
754
00:34:24,450 --> 00:34:26,570
I'd quite like to call my dad.
755
00:34:26,610 --> 00:34:27,730
Arthur.
756
00:34:29,650 --> 00:34:32,610
We, uh... Well, quizzes are
a family thing, you know.
757
00:34:33,970 --> 00:34:35,450
PHONE RINGS
758
00:34:35,490 --> 00:34:37,650
I bet it's him.
Oh, my God.
759
00:34:37,690 --> 00:34:39,570
Must be in the chair. Oh, my God.
760
00:34:39,610 --> 00:34:42,130
You ready?
761
00:34:42,170 --> 00:34:44,690
Is Uncle Adrian
going to be a millionaire?
762
00:34:44,730 --> 00:34:46,690
'Hello.'
763
00:34:46,730 --> 00:34:50,530
Well, you have to be really clever
for that, so we'll see.
764
00:34:50,570 --> 00:34:52,730
The most extraordinary thing
has happened.
765
00:34:52,770 --> 00:34:54,290
You remember your son, Adrian?
766
00:34:54,330 --> 00:34:57,490
Well, he's finally made it into the
chair, but he does need your help.
767
00:34:57,530 --> 00:34:59,690
Now, the next voice you hear
will be Adrian's.
768
00:34:59,730 --> 00:35:01,850
Adrian, you've got 30 seconds.
769
00:35:01,890 --> 00:35:02,810
Go.
770
00:35:02,850 --> 00:35:04,970
Hi, Dad. In the USA and Canada,
771
00:35:05,010 --> 00:35:07,930
Labor Day is celebrated
in which month?
772
00:35:07,970 --> 00:35:10,090
Is it May or September?
773
00:35:10,130 --> 00:35:12,490
Um...
774
00:35:12,530 --> 00:35:13,770
I think...
775
00:35:13,810 --> 00:35:14,850
May.
776
00:35:14,890 --> 00:35:16,210
'If I had to guess.'
777
00:35:16,250 --> 00:35:17,570
How sure are you?
778
00:35:17,610 --> 00:35:19,330
Ooh...
779
00:35:19,370 --> 00:35:20,530
50%.
780
00:35:20,570 --> 00:35:22,210
LAUGHTER
781
00:35:22,250 --> 00:35:23,410
Thanks, Dad.
782
00:35:24,690 --> 00:35:26,610
When's Labor Day in America?
783
00:35:26,650 --> 00:35:28,370
September, Dad.
784
00:35:28,410 --> 00:35:29,450
Oh.
785
00:35:31,010 --> 00:35:32,210
Oh, no.
786
00:35:33,650 --> 00:35:35,770
Oh, dear.
787
00:35:35,810 --> 00:35:37,010
What a shame.
788
00:35:38,610 --> 00:35:41,570
It's 32 grand, it's great.
789
00:35:41,610 --> 00:35:43,490
Thing is...
790
00:35:43,530 --> 00:35:45,010
The thing is...
791
00:35:45,050 --> 00:35:47,770
it doesn't quite cover the, uh...
792
00:35:47,810 --> 00:35:52,570
debts that the business is running
at the moment and I, uh...
793
00:35:52,610 --> 00:35:54,730
Debts? You...
794
00:35:54,770 --> 00:35:57,210
You don't normally have debts,
why didn't you say?
795
00:35:57,250 --> 00:36:01,690
Yeah, it's just this
dot-com bubble nonsense and...
796
00:36:02,770 --> 00:36:06,010
I really thought I had a chance
in that chair, you know.
797
00:36:06,050 --> 00:36:08,170
I mean, I invested a lot!
798
00:36:09,810 --> 00:36:11,970
What are you talking about?
799
00:36:26,090 --> 00:36:28,730
Holy mother of God.
800
00:36:30,370 --> 00:36:32,370
Adrian, what the...
801
00:36:33,610 --> 00:36:35,570
What is this?
802
00:36:42,330 --> 00:36:44,330
Behold,
803
00:36:44,370 --> 00:36:46,130
the game changer.
804
00:36:49,330 --> 00:36:51,610
I made it. Fastest Finger First.
805
00:36:51,650 --> 00:36:52,650
To practice on.
806
00:36:52,690 --> 00:36:55,050
I don't know what to say.
807
00:36:55,090 --> 00:36:56,730
Is this cheating?
808
00:36:56,770 --> 00:36:59,810
Certainly feels like cheating.
No, it's giving an advantage.
809
00:36:59,850 --> 00:37:01,570
To myself.
810
00:37:02,610 --> 00:37:05,250
And now to you, Diana.
811
00:37:05,290 --> 00:37:06,690
To carry on where I left off.
812
00:37:06,730 --> 00:37:09,410
But why would she want
anything to do with it? Thank you.
813
00:37:17,295 --> 00:37:19,455
Mr Pollock!
814
00:37:20,615 --> 00:37:22,615
Adrian Pollock?
815
00:37:25,415 --> 00:37:27,135
Yes?
816
00:37:27,175 --> 00:37:29,535
When I saw you'd been on
four times, I thought, no.
817
00:37:31,175 --> 00:37:32,815
That's not luck,
that's something else.
818
00:37:32,855 --> 00:37:34,655
Yeah, but how did you find me?
819
00:37:34,695 --> 00:37:36,375
Electoral register, simple enough.
820
00:37:36,415 --> 00:37:39,055
Yeah, see, that...
that's a bit creepy.
821
00:37:39,095 --> 00:37:40,855
Yeah. I have to get on.
822
00:37:40,895 --> 00:37:43,575
I don't know how,
I don't know why, this...
823
00:37:43,615 --> 00:37:44,775
COUGHS
824
00:37:44,815 --> 00:37:48,095
..this impulse took over me,
but it's just in me.
825
00:37:48,135 --> 00:37:49,815
I have to.
826
00:37:49,855 --> 00:37:52,255
Please, please help me.
827
00:37:52,295 --> 00:37:54,095
I heard tell amongst the...
828
00:37:54,135 --> 00:37:56,295
the community
that you built a machine.
829
00:37:56,335 --> 00:37:59,335
Yes. Well, my sister's got it,
she's going on the show too.
830
00:37:59,375 --> 00:38:00,735
Your sister's going?
Yeah.
831
00:38:00,775 --> 00:38:02,655
OK. Well...
832
00:38:02,695 --> 00:38:04,695
Could you make another one?
I'd pay you.
833
00:38:04,735 --> 00:38:06,975
People will pay you.
834
00:38:09,815 --> 00:38:11,735
Let me have your number.
835
00:38:11,775 --> 00:38:16,415
So, in the hot seat,
we have Diana Ingram here with...
836
00:38:16,455 --> 00:38:20,695
I do believe I recognise
your guest here tonight,
837
00:38:20,735 --> 00:38:22,215
it's your brother Adrian Pollock.
838
00:38:22,255 --> 00:38:23,495
I thought we got rid of you.
839
00:38:23,535 --> 00:38:25,295
But here you are.
840
00:38:25,335 --> 00:38:28,855
Again. Back in the studio
for a fifth time.
841
00:38:28,895 --> 00:38:32,415
Still think it's a coincidence?
842
00:38:32,455 --> 00:38:34,175
Call the network.
843
00:38:34,215 --> 00:38:35,255
Now.
844
00:38:35,295 --> 00:38:38,375
Husband Charles, Major Charles,
couldn't be here.
845
00:38:38,415 --> 00:38:39,655
He's at work.
846
00:38:39,695 --> 00:38:41,855
Charles and Diana, eh?
Why does that sound familiar?
847
00:38:41,895 --> 00:38:42,815
LAUGHTER
848
00:38:42,855 --> 00:38:45,495
Like a fairy tale. Well, started as
a fairy tale, didn't end as one.
849
00:38:45,535 --> 00:38:47,135
LAUGHTER
850
00:38:47,175 --> 00:38:49,415
Yeah, if you could
fit us in tomorrow.
851
00:38:49,455 --> 00:38:51,375
We just...
852
00:38:51,415 --> 00:38:53,975
We do really think
we may have a problem now.
853
00:38:56,975 --> 00:39:00,455
For £64,000...
854
00:39:00,495 --> 00:39:05,935
Who wrote the nonsense poem
The Hunting Of The Snark?
855
00:39:05,975 --> 00:39:07,575
GK Chesterton,
856
00:39:07,615 --> 00:39:08,975
Hilaire Belloc,
857
00:39:09,015 --> 00:39:11,135
Edward Lear,
858
00:39:11,175 --> 00:39:13,575
Lewis Carroll?
859
00:39:13,615 --> 00:39:17,375
Remember, you don't have to play,
you've got £32,000 and that's safe,
860
00:39:17,415 --> 00:39:20,215
whatever, and you do have a 50-50.
861
00:39:23,895 --> 00:39:26,255
Yeah, I'm going to play.
Edward Lear, final answer.
862
00:39:26,295 --> 00:39:28,575
Final answer?
Yes.
863
00:39:28,615 --> 00:39:30,815
You had £32,000,
864
00:39:30,855 --> 00:39:33,095
you kept back one lifeline.
865
00:39:33,135 --> 00:39:36,055
Desperately wanted
to beat your brother.
866
00:39:38,295 --> 00:39:39,975
You've stayed at exactly
the same place.
867
00:39:40,015 --> 00:39:41,215
GROANING
868
00:39:41,255 --> 00:39:43,415
Oh, it was Lewis Carroll. I'm sorry.
869
00:39:43,455 --> 00:39:48,815
But you do go away
with a cheque for £32,000.
870
00:39:48,855 --> 00:39:51,455
Not a bad day's work.
APPLAUSE
871
00:39:51,495 --> 00:39:54,295
A lot of money. That's £32,000.
872
00:39:54,335 --> 00:39:56,935
I mean, that's gonna be SO useful.
873
00:39:56,975 --> 00:39:59,135
I mean, we could...
Gosh, we could...
874
00:39:59,175 --> 00:40:01,695
I'm going to give Adrian some of it,
875
00:40:01,735 --> 00:40:03,615
just to help with the business,
you know.
876
00:40:03,655 --> 00:40:05,935
Quite a bit of it.
877
00:40:05,975 --> 00:40:08,135
14 grand of it, actually.
Right.
878
00:40:08,175 --> 00:40:09,815
Sorry.
Are you asking me or telling me?
879
00:40:12,159 --> 00:40:13,572
Right.
880
00:40:13,612 --> 00:40:15,095
Right. All right, yeah. Sure.
881
00:40:15,135 --> 00:40:16,775
Yeah, give him 14 grand.
882
00:40:16,815 --> 00:40:19,535
Hell, give him all of it. Why don't
you give him one of the children?
883
00:40:19,575 --> 00:40:21,295
Give him one of the girls.
What's going on?
884
00:40:21,335 --> 00:40:24,175
Congratulations, darling.
We're giving you to Uncle Adrian.
885
00:40:24,215 --> 00:40:26,375
Go and pack your bags.
OK.
886
00:40:27,935 --> 00:40:30,495
What was the line? "There's always
three of us in this marriage."
887
00:40:30,535 --> 00:40:32,935
That's not fair. He's my brother,
what else am I meant to do?
888
00:40:32,975 --> 00:40:34,255
Pff...
889
00:40:34,295 --> 00:40:35,815
I suppose I should tell you
890
00:40:35,855 --> 00:40:38,695
we're thinking of writing a book
about the show.
891
00:40:38,735 --> 00:40:39,975
Just a little simple how-to
892
00:40:40,015 --> 00:40:42,175
with all the hints and tips
and things we've learned,
893
00:40:42,215 --> 00:40:44,375
so we can pass them on
to new contestants.
894
00:40:44,415 --> 00:40:47,615
Just all that cheating stuff?
It isn't cheating.
895
00:40:47,655 --> 00:40:49,175
Yes, but is it cheating?
896
00:40:49,215 --> 00:40:53,895
I've asked Ruth Settle to join us,
she's our head of PR at Celador.
897
00:40:53,935 --> 00:40:57,695
This is Nicola Howson, who's our
head of press, to do likewise,
898
00:40:57,735 --> 00:41:00,935
because we can all agree that this
is a flipping nightmare. I'll say.
899
00:41:00,975 --> 00:41:03,575
I saw it for the first time
in a while last night.
900
00:41:03,615 --> 00:41:06,375
No offence. And OK, I'll say it.
901
00:41:06,415 --> 00:41:07,855
It was effing boring.
902
00:41:07,895 --> 00:41:09,415
No offence.
903
00:41:09,455 --> 00:41:11,575
The contestants are all...
904
00:41:11,615 --> 00:41:12,815
They all look and sound...
905
00:41:12,855 --> 00:41:15,255
Yeah, well, they all talk
to one another as well.
906
00:41:15,295 --> 00:41:18,615
It's like they know each other
and they're somehow...
907
00:41:18,655 --> 00:41:20,935
helping each other.
Is that against the rules?
908
00:41:20,975 --> 00:41:22,815
It's against
the spirit of the rules.
909
00:41:22,855 --> 00:41:25,055
They're getting on
and they're getting bolder.
910
00:41:25,095 --> 00:41:28,575
Now, we think it almost feels
like something's coming.
911
00:41:29,615 --> 00:41:31,455
We could start to cast it.
912
00:41:31,495 --> 00:41:34,135
Most shows cast the contestants
based on interviews and...
913
00:41:34,175 --> 00:41:37,895
No, we swore that we'd never do
that, we'd keep it democratic...
914
00:41:37,935 --> 00:41:39,535
You're saying
it's already been hacked,
915
00:41:39,575 --> 00:41:42,215
that the network's most important
asset is under attack.
916
00:41:42,255 --> 00:41:43,535
Well, this stops now.
917
00:41:43,575 --> 00:41:45,855
Find out who's doing it,
how they're doing it,
918
00:41:45,895 --> 00:41:48,975
and please,
stop them bloody doing it!
919
00:41:49,015 --> 00:41:50,855
I have to go.
920
00:41:50,895 --> 00:41:53,215
Disappear. Run away for a bit.
Well...
921
00:41:53,255 --> 00:41:55,655
a while. I'm sorry.
922
00:41:55,695 --> 00:41:57,895
Oh, my God, no. Adrian, don't...
923
00:41:57,935 --> 00:42:00,095
I just need to come up
with a way to...
924
00:42:00,135 --> 00:42:01,375
to pay everyone back.
925
00:42:01,415 --> 00:42:02,935
Well, what about my 14 grand?
926
00:42:05,095 --> 00:42:06,695
I don't bloody believe it.
927
00:42:06,735 --> 00:42:09,855
OK. OK. Now, apart from us,
who do you owe money to?
928
00:42:09,895 --> 00:42:11,175
Uh...
929
00:42:11,215 --> 00:42:14,135
It's people like Jill and Michael
from the Rotary Club.
930
00:42:14,175 --> 00:42:16,335
There's John.
John?! The butcher?
931
00:42:16,375 --> 00:42:19,295
Oh, for heaven's sake, I thought
you meant gangsters, Adrian,
932
00:42:19,335 --> 00:42:20,655
people who'd break your thumbs,
933
00:42:20,695 --> 00:42:23,255
not the butcher, the baker
and the candlestick...
934
00:42:23,295 --> 00:42:24,375
Just send them a text!
935
00:42:24,415 --> 00:42:26,055
Well, it's not your reputation,
is it?!
936
00:42:26,095 --> 00:42:29,055
What about your responsibilities?
Your family?
937
00:42:29,095 --> 00:42:31,655
They'll understand,
I'll call them from...
938
00:42:31,695 --> 00:42:34,815
wherever I am. I'll explain.
939
00:42:34,855 --> 00:42:36,535
Come on, Adrian,
it's really bad form.
940
00:42:36,575 --> 00:42:39,615
Here's some of the people from
the community I've been talking to.
941
00:42:39,655 --> 00:42:40,735
They're yours now.
942
00:42:40,775 --> 00:42:42,055
Oh, God.
943
00:42:42,095 --> 00:42:43,215
I can't...
944
00:42:43,255 --> 00:42:44,575
What about our book?
945
00:42:44,615 --> 00:42:48,295
Well, then, you finish it, Diana!
You don't need me, you never have.
946
00:42:48,335 --> 00:42:50,335
You've always been the strongest.
947
00:42:51,655 --> 00:42:53,455
I'm sorry.
948
00:42:56,615 --> 00:42:58,015
DOOR SLAMS
949
00:43:00,695 --> 00:43:02,815
It'll be OK.
950
00:43:02,855 --> 00:43:04,815
He'll be OK.
951
00:43:08,735 --> 00:43:10,855
You must go on.
952
00:43:10,895 --> 00:43:12,895
Onto the show.
953
00:43:12,935 --> 00:43:15,775
I've been on, Adrian has, it's...
954
00:43:15,815 --> 00:43:17,095
it's your turn.
955
00:43:20,335 --> 00:43:22,215
It's my turn, is it?
956
00:43:22,255 --> 00:43:23,495
To join the family business.
957
00:43:23,535 --> 00:43:25,975
I'd warned you, I...
958
00:43:26,015 --> 00:43:28,255
These mad schemes!
959
00:43:28,295 --> 00:43:29,655
I don't even like quizzes.
960
00:43:29,695 --> 00:43:33,255
The way you've been moping about,
weeks after your turn came and went,
961
00:43:33,295 --> 00:43:35,215
d'you know how dispiriting
that is, Diana,
962
00:43:35,255 --> 00:43:38,295
to know that the only happiness
you get is from a bloody game show?
963
00:43:38,335 --> 00:43:40,495
That isn't fair, that is...
It just isn't true.
964
00:43:40,535 --> 00:43:41,735
It couldn't be further...
965
00:43:41,775 --> 00:43:44,495
And everyone has hobbies, Charles.
Pfft!
966
00:43:44,535 --> 00:43:46,495
PHONE RINGS
And I didn't want to bring this up,
967
00:43:46,535 --> 00:43:47,615
but...
968
00:43:47,655 --> 00:43:49,495
Let the machine get it.
Well, we have,
969
00:43:49,535 --> 00:43:51,895
as a family, rather...
970
00:43:51,935 --> 00:43:54,415
followed you around
wherever you went.
971
00:43:54,455 --> 00:43:56,335
Happily, I might add, willingly.
972
00:43:56,375 --> 00:43:59,535
But now we, now I need you.
973
00:43:59,575 --> 00:44:02,855
'..Charles Ingram. I'm calling you
from Who Wants To Be A Millionaire.
974
00:44:02,895 --> 00:44:04,375
'We're delighted to let you know
975
00:44:04,415 --> 00:44:06,335
'that you've been selected
by our computer
976
00:44:06,375 --> 00:44:09,575
'to take part in our qualifying
round of "closest to" questions.
977
00:44:09,615 --> 00:44:15,055
'Give us a call back
on 0909 8790 555.'
978
00:44:18,295 --> 00:44:21,495
I may have already started calling
and leaving your name.
979
00:44:29,535 --> 00:44:33,015
What happens next is easy to dismiss
as simply exciting television.
980
00:44:33,055 --> 00:44:34,255
High drama.
981
00:44:34,295 --> 00:44:36,535
A bit of harmless fun
that got out of hand.
982
00:44:37,575 --> 00:44:39,895
But ignore the lights,
ignore the sound.
983
00:44:39,935 --> 00:44:41,095
COUGHING
984
00:44:41,135 --> 00:44:43,975
Unbelievable!
985
00:44:44,015 --> 00:44:45,935
This is theft.
986
00:44:45,975 --> 00:44:47,415
Plain and simple.
987
00:44:47,455 --> 00:44:51,655
An attempt to steal £1 million.
988
00:44:51,695 --> 00:44:55,175
We have all the evidence
and all of the testimonies.
989
00:44:55,215 --> 00:44:57,375
But as we go through
quite how they did it,
990
00:44:57,415 --> 00:44:59,535
beat by impossible beat,
991
00:44:59,575 --> 00:45:01,375
oh, you'll be shocked, yes,
992
00:45:01,415 --> 00:45:03,735
perhaps even impressed a little...
993
00:45:04,775 --> 00:45:07,215
..but you will be left in no doubt
994
00:45:07,255 --> 00:45:09,375
that they are guilty of a crime.
995
00:45:09,415 --> 00:45:12,735
A crime that carries with it
996
00:45:12,775 --> 00:45:15,455
time in prison.
997
00:45:15,495 --> 00:45:17,495
APPLAUSE
All right?
998
00:45:19,055 --> 00:45:21,055
All right?
999
00:45:25,135 --> 00:45:26,335
COUGHS
1000
00:45:29,255 --> 00:45:31,815
Right, Major Charles Ingram,
1001
00:45:31,855 --> 00:45:33,415
are you ready to play...
1002
00:45:33,455 --> 00:45:36,775
DRAMATIC THEME
99681
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