Original subtitles

"Everyone calls me bad girl." - Hang up the phone, m***r!

"I am not a mad girl."

"I live on my own terms."

"I am a bit fussy, a bit choosy."

"One stop for love."

"One stop for love, baby."

"When there is free offer online..."

"...why shouldn't I become shopaholic."

"I tried and find someone proper."

"Why go out, when you can find everything home?"

"You got a date online."

"Still you are so confused."

"You are my first love."

"I've many fans, but I like only you, sweetie."

"Click, click, on one click, everything is delivered at home."

"Banker or doctor, tonight click the show stopper."

"I am so lazy, but I don't care."

"Everyone calls me lazy girl."

"I live on my own terms."

"I am a bit fussy, a bit choosy."

"One stop for love."

"One stop for love, baby."

Wow.

It's good news. You got increment.

Imagine increment everyday. And party everyday.

Cheers to the success of our best friend Sanjana.

And one more. Lots of online shopping...

shopping, and look at this.

Wow. But did you buy the same thing last week?

Same colour, same brand.

Dear, did you forget? Her headlights keep changing shapes.

That too, without any servicing.

But how long will this go on?

As long as she has both her hands.

B***h. Just shut up.

And.

Wow. One more. Sexy.

Yes, my sexy idol. This is for you.

I will wear it now.

And for me?

I have something.

This is your branded bag.

Seriously. Will I lay eggs in it?

What about my vibrator?

Kamna, when will your sensual desires be satiated?

You change boyfriend every other day.

Still you look for options.

Listen. I will give this bag to the neighbour.

Okay? - No. Give it to me.

No. - I love it.

Answer it.

It's good you called now.

If you had called after an hour, I wouldn't have answered it.

You didn't call. - Should I start the narration?

Raja is making love with his girlfriend.

At that time, the girl's husband arrives.

The boy gets scared and runs towards the window...

without clothes.

The girl says, you f***r, there is a sewage.

Come here.

He says, you will get me killed.

The girl says, stay quiet. Don't make a sound.

Go upstairs and hide under the bed-sheet.

The husband is drunk.

He enters the room.

The girl says, have you come home drunk?

Husband doesn't give any thought to her...

and directly jumps on the bed...

next to Raja.

Raja is scared to death.

But the girl exits the room quietly.

Now we show time lap in the clock.

3 hours.

Husband comes out of the room.

The girl smiles...

and husband gives her 10,000 rupees and leaves.

The girl yells, Raja, come outside.

He left.

Raja comes out crying, with his hand on his bum...

and stretching his legs.

And says, "m***r, your husband is gay."

He molested me from behind.

The girl says, why didn't you shout?

You should have said something.

Raja says, if I had said something...

wouldn't your husband have known that it was me, not you.

Then could I have been able to return home alive?

The girl smiles and says lovingly...

oh my darling. Let's go inside.

The boy runs hurriedly.

The girl smiles...

and says, I duped one more f***r.

Did you understand?

The girl is running a racket.

Now hang up.

Wow. What a narration!

The Web Series trend is just amazing.

You can write anything, you can show anything.

After hearing your narration, people feel...

you would have been promiscuous, b***y.

But they don't know that you are so pious.

Your timing is awesome.

Let me see.

Isn't it too tight?

I think it's fine.

Isn't it, Sanjana?

It's a bit tight.

But I ordered the size you wanted.

Actually Sanjana, it's not your fault.

These days her boyfriend is working hard, day and night.

Shut up, you guys.

He is really toiling hard.

"The climber is going to climb on the top!"

"The climber is going to climb!"

Oh f***k! It's 11 O'clock. I had to send the assignment.

Sanjana, what keeps happening to you?

Coming.

"I am here for you!"

Are you mad?

You disturbed my sleep with this frantic ringing.

Are you a salesman who want to sell his good?

Get lost.

Your order, ma'am.

My order.

From where? Amazon, Flipkart, Myntra.

I didn't order anything.

Check the address.

This is the right address.

Oh, I see.

Fine, what did you bring and from where?

Ma'am, I have come.

I can see that.

But from where have you come? What have you brought?

Ma'am, I have come.

This watchman sends any Tom, Dick or Harry to chew my brains.

Ma'am, I’ve come from Boys At One Click.

Come again.

Boys At One Click.

On a serious note, get one boyfriend.

How long will you flirt with our boyfriends?

On a serious note, get one boyfriend.

How long will you flirt with our boyfriends?

On a serious note, get one boyfriend.

How long will you flirt with our boyfriends?

Sanjana can attract as many boys as she want.

Just one click away. He will be delivered at your doorstep.

Oh God. What have I done?

But I am not Sanjana.

You just said you were Sanjana.

Oh God. I am trapped.

Look. Has Suraj come?

Will you go like this to open the door?

Okay. She is Sanjana.

Oh hello.

And she is...

I see. So he is the hottie.

Guys, let's dance.

Yes.

What's up?

How long will you stay alone?

I am happy, and I am fine.

Most importantly...

if I get engaged, who will listen to your nonsense?

Right.

What are you doing? Don't spoil the scene.

I am not worried about Sanjana.

I am worried about my boyfriend. Look at him.

You are so beautiful. You can get a new boyfriend.

Have it. Yes.

Sanjana. He is still standing here.

No. I got an order. He is just leaving.

Get going. - Ma'am, you have made the full payment.

I have to tell the company the reason for non-acceptance.

Nobody wants the refund.

Give it to me. What have you brought?

It's my personal thing. Like, undergarments.

I see. Designer bra and panty.

Very good. Then give it to me. Please.

My size won't fit you.

Why not? We aren't that different.

Moreover, I jog with this step meter and these shoes.

I will get slimmer than you, pretty soon.

Let me wear it. I like to wear tiger print. Give it.

Aunt. - Don't call me aunt.

I am not than older than you.

Do you see any difference between us? - Look, my name is Durga.

People call me Duggu with love.

You can say that too.

Aunt. Duggu, I will send it. - Promise.

Promise. - She wears interesting things.

I see her clothes on wash line.

Bobby print, and tiger print. - From which company have you come?

I will give you all the details.

You go on. I will give you the details.

Promise? - Yes.

I will also order. Please come there also. - Okay, bye.

Bye. - Bye.

Bye.

Now get going.

Ma'am. Ma'am.

So what were you saying?

I said I never saw a sophisticated girl like Sanjana before.

Really? You used the same line on me. - What?

In 10 minutes, you found out everything about Sanjana?

M***r, didn't I tell you not to call me after 12?

I will thrash you black and blue.

Hang up, you f***r.

May I use the toilet?

Yes, sure. - Where?

There.

There?

He got upset stomach.

Listen. The latch of the door is broken.

So hold it tight.

And don't shit. There is no water.

Even the hand shower isn't working.

There is also no tissue paper.

M***r!

You should have warned me earlier.

Guys, I am not feeling well.

I will take your leave, okay?

Hey, sit. What happened?

Must you go now?

Don't you want to dance more?

Not even close dance?

Twist and turn, a little. - I will call you back, baby.

Bye.

I don't think he will call you again.

Did you see his face?

It happens when you run out of toilet paper after shitting.

You guys carry on. My laptop is in his car. - Okay.

Sanjana, on a serious note, make a boyfriend.

You just won't stop nagging me.

This time, I agree with Kamna.

How long will you flirt with our boyfriends?

Sanjana can attract as many boys as she want.

Just one click away. He will be delivered at your doorstep.

A new boy everyday.

Let it be. She can't do it. Bye.

Okay, bye. Take care.

Sanjana, stop him.

No. Stop. No.

Stop. No. Stop. No.

You sit here. I will just be back.

Relax, Sanjana. Relax.

You have already spent the money. Now don't waste time.

Where did he go?

Sanjana.

Aunt?

Aunt again?

Duggu.

Where the hell is he?

Didn't he reach? I had sent him.

Oh, now he will give my underwear to his girlfriend.

She will look hot.

I will call him up, and send him.

Okay, hurry up.

You are too slow. My time is over.

Better luck next time.

Rascal.

I am sorry. I have been kept waiting.

Since you were not able to utilize the service in one hour...

he had to leave. Better luck next time.

M***s. They have opened up a company to dupe people.

I lost 10,000 rupees.

And they say, better luck next time.

I will call again.

And this time, I will teach him a lesson he won't forget.

Sanjana. What are you thinking?

You don't have to marry him.

"A small problem."

Sit.

Smoke.

No, thank you.

What will you have?

I won't be able to.

What? Did you say something?

Nothing.

I will make a small drink.

Don't refuse.

I can't do it without getting high.

I will just come.

God, please save my honour today.

Thank you. - Cheers.

Slow, but I like it.

I won't have to work too hard.

My boss is working me too hard.

After one shift, I am sent to the other, all day.

Since this online service started...

I understood what it means to get s***d.

Drink it quickly.

Don't waste time.

I can't say anything. He will think I am desperate. - "Despo."

Shall we go inside? - "Despo."

Okay.

What are you looking at?

Cameras.

Cameras?

Show me the bag. Where is the camera?

Is there a camera in the bag? You want to shoot me nude.

Will you upload it on the net?

I have no camera.

I was just checking if you have installed cameras in the room.

You s***e. Do you think I am so cheap?

Will I make a film?

Ma'am, this is the policy of our company.

We have to first check for installed cameras in the room.

For safety.

Safety.

Safety.

Of course. Safety.

Oh God. Today give me courage to take the leap.

I am enjoying it. Keep holding me like this.

Only half an hour more is left.

I can't do it.

I think she is not in the mood.

I will take her leave.

God, you didn't protect "Junior" even today.

Junior?

I mean my younger brother.

M***r. If you make a mess this time, I will fire you.

What is this drama?

I was thinking about junior. Anyway, forget all that.

Forget about this.

Don't answer the phone.

This isn't the phone, but the doorbell.

What? - Doorbell.

Doorbell. Shit.

She will open it.

Sanjana, open the door.

Hide quickly. The landlord is here. - Thank God.

What? - Not there, hide in the bathroom.

And listen. Hold the door tight.

Okay. - Stay in.

Come.

Come on in.

Please come.

Sanjana. So much thumping...

Not at all.

I mean at the door.

I was wondering, a girl who stays at home all day...

might have gone outline, while being online.

So I opened it, and barged inside.

Sorry. I wanted to show... I wanted to show the house.

House? - Yes.

Pritam, you should have called me first. - Me?

I can't show the house now. - Hey.

Pritam, she is refusing to show the house.

It means, there is some problem. - No. - What's the problem?

There is a problem.

What's the problem, Sanjana? - Pritam.

I think I need to check the house right now. - Excuse me.

Pritam. Stop. Turn around.

My things...

I will return them. Please come.

Come and check the house. It's splendid.

The ceiling is...

Sanjana. What is this?

Pritam, it's a condom.

I know.

That's why I don't rent the room to bachelors.

Settle the account, and evict the room right now.

Pritam, what are you saying?

I am staying in this room for 5 years.

Have you ever heard anything wrong about me?

I don't even step outside the house.

Now tell me, what's my profession?

Writer. So?

But what's a writer's connection with the condom?

There is a connection.

Condom is a product for me.

I am making an Ad film on it.

So until I don't check it, and use it...

how can I write about it?

Sanjana.

Pritam, you are getting me wrong.

I will give you demo.

Demo?

I will show you right now.

Give it to me.

Mister, you keep it, please.

My honour is at stake. Please keep it.

Consider it a gift. Now you come here.

Lie on the bed.

And mister, come from there, and jump on the bed.

And start acting like a sex manic.

Sanjana.

Pritam.

Please continue.

Come, sir.

Now you push your guy down, with force.

Now you will say...

"My child's father, when are you going to use the balloons?"

My child's father, when are you going to use the balloons?

And sir, you open the condom packet, and take it out.

Your son Pappu will come running from there.

Pritam, you do the role of Pappu.

Me? - Yes. Go out. And come inside running.

Dad.

Snatch it from him.

Keep holding it. - Yes. Now pull. Don't leave it.

And sir, you let it go.

Pappu. Pritam, now you say.

"Dad, what is this?"

"Dad, what is this?"

Ma'am, you come here.

Now you will say, this is a balloon, Pappu.

This is a balloon, Pappu.

If it had been used, you wouldn't be here.

If it had been used, you wouldn't be here.

Now you both will say...

a little precaution, and freedom of a lifetime.

A little precaution, and freedom of a lifetime.

Pappu, now you blow the balloon.

Okay.

And go out quickly.

Balloon.

Now you two say together.

"Single pack can ruin the mood."

"So always keep family pack."

"Single pack can ruin the mood."

"So always keep family pack."

Wow. Sanjana, very well done.

It's strong. It's durable.

It's flexible. It's long lasting.

Order some for me also. Complimentary.

Huh?

Please come. I will show you the bathroom.

Pritam.

Why won't the bathroom open?

Is someone inside? - Yes?

Sanjana. - No.

That's the problem.

This door gets stuck.

It's difficult to open or close it.

Often I have been locked in this bathroom.

You should have told me.

Today I will open this door.

No. - You just wait and watch.

Can you please help me?

Excuse me.

One, two, three.

Who is he?

Internet guy.

Internet guy in the bathroom?

You said nobody is in the bathroom.

No, I said. There is.

Ma'am, didn't I say someone is in the bathroom?

Yes. - Didn't I say it?

Lie. - No.

But what was he doing in the bathroom?

What were you doing in the bathroom?

Her connection is weak.

What? - Of internet.

Antenna isn't working.

Even my antenna isn't working.

But what was this internet guy doing in the bathroom?

Checking the connection.

In the bathroom?

You get the best connectivity in bathroom.

Didn't you use your phone in the bathroom?

Of course. CO has the best connectivity.

CO has best connectivity.

I agree.

Everywhere, data free. Follow me.

Reach bungalow number 69 immediately.

B***y fool.

Oh my God!

Let it go. That f***r blocked my number.

He was very hot.

Now forget him.

What happened to you?

Oh. Are you still upset with me?

No, dear. I am upset with myself.

What has happened? Will you tell us?

That day, after the party.

On a serious note, get one boyfriend.

How long will you flirt with our boyfriends?

Sanjana can attract as many boys as she want.

Just one click away. He will be delivered at your doorstep.

Ma'am, it's me. - From where?

Boys At One Click.

I am in a mess.

The first one...

gave this.

What's that?

You are too slow. My time is over.

Better luck next time.

What did you do?

Nothing.

On top of that, I lost 20,000 rupees.

You had to lose money.

Did you call him to get married?

You should stop watching Hindi movies...

and watch English movies. - Exactly.

You should get your money's worth.

What despo? You have paid the money.

So, let's start the training.

You don't have to invite me twice. - Let's go.

Let's go. - Let's go.

What are you doing? - Hold on.

Watch this.

Wait.

She is watching it for the first time? - So soon?

Right, baby. - Why didn't I think of it?

Because you are stupid.

Oh dear.

You are unlucky.

Be quiet.

We are here for her.

"Player."

Hey, Sanjana. - I have mailed it.

You should have told me if you didn't want to work.

You make excuses everyday.

Sir. - Sanjana, you are irresponsible.

Sir. - What about the earlier job?

She has already lost 20.

This time, we will take what we have paid for.

You can't do this to me. - Really?

This is against the company rules.

What will you do? Shout and scream? - Shout.

Both of you, together?

What happened? Are you s***d?

Sir, I had mailed it.

Stop it, Sanjana. Narrate the scene right now.

Or else, I will disconnect the phone.

And don't call me again.

No, sir. I will narrate it over the phone.

Sir, there is a girl named Richa.

And she goes out with a boy.

Before anything happens, her b***y boss phones her.

And her two friends take her boyfriend inside.

A lot is happening inside.

That Richa is worried sick. She doesn't know what to do.

Because her boss doesn't hang up the phone.

Sir, there is so much twist in the story.

M***r! Stop!

How dare you, Sanjana! You are fired.

No, sir.

I lost the boy, as well as the job.

B***h!

We both enjoyed. We got your money's worth.

Opening for web series writer.

Hello. Hi, Nisha.

Is there a vacancy for a writer?

If there is, please let me know.

Yes. Bye.

Oh God. You have been so caring.

You saved me from defamation.

Now I won't tread any wrong path.

I have just once request. Get me a nice job.

Please, God. One nice job.

Who is it now?

Yes.

I am from Boys At One Click.

I didn't call anyone. Have you come here to rob me? Get lost.

Ma'am, I am not here to loot you.

You are our premium customer.

Today we will give you free service.

Free service? - Yes. Please kindly check your mail.

Your ID. - That's Rohit.

Listen. Remove your tab, and put a remark.

Customer not interested.

So now just get lost.

Ma'am, please try to understand.

Ma'am, if I put the remark, I won't get my payment.

Nor will I get any work again. - So should I get f***d?

If you are done, send him to me.

I too want to bang, a nail in the wall.

Okay. - Thank you.

Now get going.

Ma'am, please try to understand.

My mother is very ill.

I need money badly.

Now even your mother is ill?

If you want, you can come and check.

I will make a video call.

What do you want?

Give me permission to wait at your doorstep.

Only for an hour.

And I have a request. Don't give any remark.

How will it help? - This tab has location tracker.

I can't deactivate it, even if I want.

If I go down...

the company will know I had no interaction with the client.

So I won't get money.

Wait.

Hello. - Hello.

Yes, mother. - Child, what happened to your voice?

I am just not in a good mood today.

Is everything fine?

I have lost my job.

Never mind, dear. You are very talented.

You will get a job.

Listen. Help a needy.

God will be pleased with you.

Okay, mother. Someone is at the door. I will call you later.

Take care. - Bye.

Come inside, or else that aunt will take you along.

Sit.

Here.

Thank you.

Sanjana, boss has mailed new assignment.

He has even apologized.

And he said, there is no rush.

Take your own time.

M***r. Did you complain to boss about me?

You played my phone recording to him.

Sorry, Sanjana. I made a mistake.

Now tell your boss to clear earlier payment.

After that, I will start the new work.

Understood? - And you know my time table...

about when to phone, and when to message.

Thank God, you answered my prayer.

Even mom's prayer was answered.

Wow. - A mom's prayer is always answered.

Can I ask something?

Do you always talk to everyone like this?

What do you mean? Tell me clearly.

I mean, arrogantly.

Look. This is the only one way to live alone in this city.

Or else people will take advantage.

They respect me when I talk arrogantly.

Understood?

Can I say something? You are very lucky for me.

When you stepped in my house...

I got my lost job.

This calls for a drink.

Don't refuse. I will get it.

Carefully.

Ma'am, I will call the doctor.

No. It's just a sprain. I will be fine.

Are you sure?

Rohit, let it be. I will clean later.

You have helped me so much.

And you got hurt while trying to serve me.

So give me a chance to serve you.

Tell me, will you have coffee?

Why coffee? - Because I make good coffee. How about one cup?

Sure.

I will get it. - Where is the kitchen?

There. - Thank you.

I had to leave in an hour.

But I didn't realize how 2 hours passed with you.

You helped me so much. Thank you.

My mom's prayers will be with you.

I think I should leave now. - I will take your leave. Bye.

Sanjana, are you mad?

He is from Boys At One Click.

What has happened to your standard?

Bye.

Rohit forgot his phone.

Are you alright?

Where is Rohit? I mean that guy.

He left.

But he was very hot. I swear.

I know.

Thank God he left. - Or else, I would have broken his jaw.

Why? Wasn't breaking the bed enough?

You were very sly.

You told me you have to concentrate on your work.

And when we left, you called him. - Please.

Shut up, b***s! - Okay, dear.

You both stink of wine, and you want us to be quiet. Great.

I swear. Nothing happened.

If nothing happened, what was he doing here?

First tell me, how did you two get in?

He told us about your condition.

So we came here.

And when he reached, he was taking good care of you.

I liked that person.

And he was also so hot. - I know.

You should have let me do your inauguration?

Will you two shut up?

You tell me, how did all this happen?

He came for free service from Boys At One Click.

Rohit forgot his phone.

You b***d Raj. Are you still there?

Check your phone. I called you so many times.

Why don't you answer my phone?

How long will you stay with that cold doll?

F***r, I did you a favour by sending you in my place.

I even gave you my tab.

Now for that girl, you have forgotten me.

You wanted a job.

Your mother was ill.

Now speak up. Why are you quiet?

Come here immediately, b***d. Hang up now.

O God, you have really saved me from disgrace.

I will block this Boys At One Click site.

Who is it? - Rohit.

I forgot my phone and tab.

I will teach you a lesson.

No matter what, that boy was nice.

And he was also very hot.

He has also left a love letter for you.

What? Tear this love letter.

Let me read it.

Sanjana, I don't know how to thank you.

You saved my honour, by saying no to me.

And later you broke my phone.

You saved me from going into a business...

from where there was no return.

Today was my first day, and also my last day.

I didn't get any money.

Because you broke the company's tab.

I am happy I won't get the money.

The breaking of tab is God's blessing for me.

I tried to get ill-gotten money for my mother's treatment.

I want to thank you again.

For my mother and for myself, I will work...

at the place which keeps my soul and integrity intact...

even if I have to ride rickshaw for it.

I have called your friends.

Do consult a doctor...

not online, but in a clinic.

Take care. Get well soon.

Wow. Wow.

You have changed a monster into a human. Wow.

When will you two become human?

And when will you stop sleeping around?

Only when you will stop cursing.

Come on, let's have tea. - Yes.

Hello. How are you?

Please remain seated.

I am fine. - This is for you.

Thank you.

You aren't as rough and tough as you think.

Try me.

All your misunderstandings will be cleared.

What do you mean?

I mean...

Hot tea.

That fool has not even written his name.

Here.

Kamna, did he tell you his name?

Name? - Didn't you say? Rohit something.

No. It was the user ID of that m***r...

who came on the first day.

He came here in helplessness.

Really? So much sympathy?

Look. Time pass is all fine.

But it's risky to be serious with someone we don't know.

Stop lecturing. - You are talking as if I am marrying him tomorrow.

I am looking for him to say thank you.

It's not a big deal to find him.

You can get it from online.

You b***d, Raj. You are still there.

Raj. Yes, that m***r had said that name only.

Wow, Raj. It's a very familiar name.

We are getting late for office.

You take care. Bye. - Bye.

Do find your Raj.

Of course, I will find him. Bye.

Raj Sharma.

No, he will be Raj Verma.

Yes, watchman.

Hello, ma'am.

M***r, you are a stigma on the profession of security.

Do you sleep all day?

Check the CCTV footage, and send me his photo. - Understood?

What has happened?

A salesman had come earlier.

He attacked me.

I have been robbed.

Understood? I need to lodge a police complaint.

So send me the footage immediately.

I hope this plan works.

The door is open.

Come inside.

I caught him with much difficulty.

I searched the entire Mumbai.

You know where I found him. At F***k Land Road.

What? - Ma'am, it's the name of the road. Lord F***k Land Road.

What was he doing there? - Ma'am, taxi...

You be quiet.

He was driving a taxi there.

Now identify him.

Is he the same guy who attacked you?

The face is similar.

But he is not the guy. He wasn't a taxi driver.

He said he had come here.

I didn't have a change. He came here for change.

All our hard work was in vain.

Forgive me.

I made a mistake.

Hello, sir. Yes, you may go.

Yes. I will send the file.

You will get it in your office.

Raj.

How do you know my name?

Easy.

Sit here.

Are you alright? - Yeah.

Thank you for taking care of me the other day.

But you complained to the police against me.

What do you want?

To say thank you.

But how did you know my name?

When you forgot your tab and phone at my house...

that Rohit had called.

Then I realized you were using Rohit's ID.

I thought I won't be able to find you.

Since I am a writer, I used CCTV...

and police drama, and...

When Rohit phoned the other day, he took your name.

I remembered that.

I used my brain, a little.

Very smart.

But why all this drama, for just saying thank you?

You ***...

So sweet of you.

Your name shouldn't be Raj, but Simpleton.

I did all this not to say thank you, but to say I love you.

"One stop for love, baby."

"One stop for love."

Cut. You want to add anything.

That no, no, no... they portion is dropped.

"Please come down on your knees."

"So you think you are f***g handsome."

Don't say no to me, please."

"In bikini."

Hang up now.

Sir, please.

Didn't I tell you not to call me after 12 O'clock.

I will thrash you black and blue, you m***r!

Put a mark here.

Totally smart.

You are a cheater.

I am totally f***d.

It was good. Action.

She has lost 20.

So this time, we will get the money's worth.

You want to scream and shout?

Ma'am.

"One stop for love."

"One stop for love, baby."

Action. - Come on!