All language subtitles for One Day at a Time - 04x04 - One Halloween at a Time.XLF.English.HI.C.updated.Addic7ed.com

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,500 --> 00:00:02,970 Sync and correction by solfieri www.addic7ed.com 2 00:00:04,771 --> 00:00:06,372 Mmm. 3 00:00:06,373 --> 00:00:08,774 - Listen, Max. - Hm? 4 00:00:08,775 --> 00:00:10,209 Ever since we got back together, 5 00:00:10,210 --> 00:00:13,212 there's a question I feel like I have to ask you. 6 00:00:13,213 --> 00:00:14,680 Sure. Anything? 7 00:00:14,681 --> 00:00:17,083 Did we get better at this? 8 00:00:17,084 --> 00:00:19,518 Well, we have to give a little bit of credit 9 00:00:19,519 --> 00:00:21,787 to that performance enhancer you gave me. 10 00:00:21,788 --> 00:00:24,891 This knee brace is a game-changer. 11 00:00:24,892 --> 00:00:27,793 Alright, got to go get ready for Halloween. 12 00:00:27,794 --> 00:00:30,263 Though, what we did was a treat and involved a few tricks. 13 00:00:30,264 --> 00:00:32,198 Mm. 14 00:00:32,199 --> 00:00:34,033 Maybe we should just blow off the costume. 15 00:00:34,034 --> 00:00:35,668 I mean, you already are a sexy nurse. 16 00:00:35,669 --> 00:00:37,169 Hey, that's demeaning. 17 00:00:37,170 --> 00:00:40,606 Sexy nurse practitioner. 18 00:00:40,607 --> 00:00:42,541 But we're doing the costumes. 19 00:00:42,542 --> 00:00:44,010 I can't wait. Ooh! 20 00:00:44,011 --> 00:00:46,312 But before you go, there is something 21 00:00:46,313 --> 00:00:48,015 I want to give you. 22 00:00:51,117 --> 00:00:52,819 In the shower. 23 00:00:56,857 --> 00:00:59,725 God bless that knee brace. 24 00:00:59,727 --> 00:01:00,886 ♪ This is it ♪ 25 00:01:01,161 --> 00:01:02,561 ♪ Oh, oh, oh, whoa ♪ 26 00:01:02,562 --> 00:01:04,598 ♪ One day at a time ♪ 27 00:01:08,252 --> 00:01:11,154 Oh, good! You are going out for Halloween. 28 00:01:11,171 --> 00:01:14,106 Mm-hmm. I'm climate change activist Greta Thunberg, 29 00:01:14,107 --> 00:01:18,311 and Syd is a melting iceberg because you're too hot. 30 00:01:18,312 --> 00:01:19,831 Oh! 31 00:01:19,881 --> 00:01:22,582 We're Thunberg and iceberg! 32 00:01:22,583 --> 00:01:25,484 Why can't you just be cats? 33 00:01:25,485 --> 00:01:28,721 You're already got the whiskers. 34 00:01:28,722 --> 00:01:30,289 Well, we are not going trick-or-treating. 35 00:01:30,290 --> 00:01:32,291 We are going door to door to collect signatures 36 00:01:32,292 --> 00:01:34,327 and inform people about man-made climate change. 37 00:01:34,328 --> 00:01:37,763 Oh, shouldn't we say person-made climate change? 38 00:01:37,764 --> 00:01:40,081 I'm good with men taking the credit for this one. 39 00:01:41,339 --> 00:01:43,069 Halloween is the perfect night 40 00:01:43,070 --> 00:01:45,905 because suckers will open the door for anybody. 41 00:01:45,906 --> 00:01:47,473 Oh, yeah. You ring the doorbell, 42 00:01:47,474 --> 00:01:50,209 and before they even know what's happening, we hit them with the facts. 43 00:01:50,210 --> 00:01:54,513 Bam! Damage will be irreversible by 2030. 44 00:01:54,514 --> 00:01:58,117 Bam! Welcome to the insect apocalypse. 45 00:01:58,118 --> 00:02:03,456 Bam! That is the sound of a door slamming in your face. 46 00:02:03,457 --> 00:02:04,857 Put this outside. 47 00:02:04,858 --> 00:02:06,359 Ugh, with that bobo in the White House, 48 00:02:06,360 --> 00:02:09,128 I can't stand to look at an orange face right now. 49 00:02:09,129 --> 00:02:12,566 He's like a pumpkin. He will get thrown out in November. 50 00:02:20,607 --> 00:02:22,241 Well, guess what we are? 51 00:02:22,242 --> 00:02:24,784 A reminder to shave my legs? 52 00:02:26,346 --> 00:02:28,381 No! Come on! 53 00:02:28,382 --> 00:02:30,950 This is serious! 54 00:02:30,951 --> 00:02:33,720 It's okay, babe. They just... They need a hint. 55 00:02:37,524 --> 00:02:39,125 Okay, okay. 56 00:02:39,126 --> 00:02:42,277 You are a cow, and you have stepped in the cow caca. 57 00:02:43,497 --> 00:02:45,370 Goat yoga! 58 00:02:46,402 --> 00:02:47,967 Go-o-o-oat. 59 00:02:47,968 --> 00:02:49,135 Yoga. 60 00:02:49,136 --> 00:02:50,703 Obviously! 61 00:02:50,704 --> 00:02:53,239 Ugh, we're never gonna win. 62 00:02:53,240 --> 00:02:55,007 He's got a lot riding on winning tonight's 63 00:02:55,008 --> 00:02:58,110 Halloween costume contest at the Echo Park country club. 64 00:02:58,111 --> 00:03:00,012 We have a country club in Echo Park? 65 00:03:00,013 --> 00:03:01,914 Oh, no, it's the Beverly Hills Country Club. 66 00:03:01,915 --> 00:03:06,652 They just call it Echo Park on Halloween to make it sound scary. 67 00:03:06,653 --> 00:03:08,054 I've never won. 68 00:03:08,055 --> 00:03:11,590 But this year, I can't lose because I have Avery in my life, 69 00:03:11,591 --> 00:03:14,126 and I'm finally in a loving relationship. 70 00:03:14,127 --> 00:03:17,263 - Aww. - And couple's costumes always win! 71 00:03:17,264 --> 00:03:20,166 The prize is an iPad mini, and I never win anything. 72 00:03:20,167 --> 00:03:23,948 You're a rich, straight, cisgender white dude. You won at life. 73 00:03:25,472 --> 00:03:27,641 But I want an iPad mini. 74 00:03:30,210 --> 00:03:31,510 Ooh! Hey! 75 00:03:31,511 --> 00:03:34,614 What are you, Little Bo Peep and a messed-up sheep? 76 00:03:38,185 --> 00:03:40,419 Come on. Let's go back to our apartment. 77 00:03:40,420 --> 00:03:43,222 Oh! It's a Halloween miracle. 78 00:03:43,223 --> 00:03:45,125 A hardy-har, har-har-har! 79 00:03:46,927 --> 00:03:48,394 Mom, we're gonna go now. 80 00:03:48,395 --> 00:03:49,895 Ooh! You two look great. 81 00:03:49,896 --> 00:03:54,266 This is a lot better than last year's toxic drinking water and tumor costumes. 82 00:03:54,267 --> 00:03:59,038 Yeah. We really bummed out that senior center. 83 00:03:59,039 --> 00:04:00,740 Bye-bye. 84 00:04:00,742 --> 00:04:03,676 Lupita, you look so happy. 85 00:04:03,677 --> 00:04:05,411 Did you enjoy your walk? 86 00:04:05,412 --> 00:04:08,514 - Walk? - Of shame! 87 00:04:08,515 --> 00:04:12,218 I know you were with Max doing hanky-panky 88 00:04:12,219 --> 00:04:16,389 when you needed to be here doing tricky-treaty. 89 00:04:16,390 --> 00:04:17,990 Mami, I don't know what you're talking about. 90 00:04:17,991 --> 00:04:20,693 We were knitting sweaters and reading the Bible. 91 00:04:20,694 --> 00:04:23,295 What is wrong with you? 92 00:04:23,296 --> 00:04:26,700 I would have broken him down like a cardboard box. 93 00:04:29,569 --> 00:04:30,703 Put this outside. 94 00:04:30,704 --> 00:04:32,773 Okay, I'll do that. 95 00:04:35,809 --> 00:04:38,844 Hey, take it somewhere else, you old creep! 96 00:04:38,845 --> 00:04:40,714 Oh! Hey, Mom. 97 00:04:42,449 --> 00:04:44,617 Whoa! 98 00:04:44,618 --> 00:04:46,285 Look at that hair! 99 00:04:46,286 --> 00:04:47,453 What's your costume? 100 00:04:47,454 --> 00:04:49,989 Anderson Cooper, Billy Idol, Steve Martin? 101 00:04:49,990 --> 00:04:53,392 I don't know who any of those people are. 102 00:04:53,393 --> 00:04:55,561 Doesn't he look like he could be in a boy band? 103 00:04:55,562 --> 00:04:59,265 Yeah, Boyz II Old Men. 104 00:04:59,266 --> 00:05:02,019 Mom, wait.This isn't my costume. I dyed my hair. 105 00:05:02,800 --> 00:05:05,037 Like, permanently? 106 00:05:05,038 --> 00:05:07,440 How could you do that without asking me? 107 00:05:07,441 --> 00:05:09,008 I did ask you. 108 00:05:09,009 --> 00:05:12,411 I said, "Mom, on Halloween, can I dye my hair silver?" 109 00:05:12,412 --> 00:05:14,380 Why would you use Halloween in that sentence? 110 00:05:14,381 --> 00:05:16,116 That is so misleading. 111 00:05:17,149 --> 00:05:18,783 [Gasps] 112 00:05:18,785 --> 00:05:22,388 Papito, what have you done? 113 00:05:22,389 --> 00:05:24,423 Mm-hmm. 114 00:05:24,424 --> 00:05:27,526 You look just like your abuelo. 115 00:05:27,527 --> 00:05:30,096 [Chuckles] 116 00:05:30,097 --> 00:05:34,667 Tonight, I will put you in his suit, and we will dance. 117 00:05:34,668 --> 00:05:38,571 Oh, I've made a big mistake. 118 00:05:38,572 --> 00:05:40,139 Yeah, you did. 119 00:05:40,140 --> 00:05:42,942 We'll talk about it later when you get back from trick-or-treating. 120 00:05:42,943 --> 00:05:45,344 Uh, yeah, I think I'm over that. 121 00:05:45,345 --> 00:05:47,513 Wait, so you're doing trick-or-treating? 122 00:05:47,514 --> 00:05:50,082 Was last year your last year? Why didn't you tell me? 123 00:05:50,083 --> 00:05:52,017 How could I tell you last year was the last year 124 00:05:52,018 --> 00:05:54,987 if I didn't know until this year? 125 00:05:54,988 --> 00:05:58,390 Well, you're a wise old man, figure it out. 126 00:05:58,391 --> 00:05:59,525 I'm sorry. 127 00:05:59,526 --> 00:06:00,793 But can I please go to Nora's? 128 00:06:00,794 --> 00:06:02,161 Her parents are having a party. 129 00:06:02,162 --> 00:06:03,729 Don't worry, he'll be home in time 130 00:06:03,730 --> 00:06:05,197 to take his arthritis pills. 131 00:06:05,198 --> 00:06:07,933 Ooh! That's a good one. 132 00:06:07,934 --> 00:06:09,602 Yes, you can go to Nora's house. 133 00:06:09,603 --> 00:06:13,039 But make sure you're home in time to spoon your grandmother. 134 00:06:16,376 --> 00:06:17,977 Bye, papito! 135 00:06:17,978 --> 00:06:21,214 [Cellphone rings] 136 00:06:23,984 --> 00:06:25,217 Hello, Max. 137 00:06:25,218 --> 00:06:28,054 What are you wearing? 138 00:06:28,055 --> 00:06:29,822 Rubber. 139 00:06:29,823 --> 00:06:31,791 But not in a fun way. 140 00:06:31,792 --> 00:06:33,827 Just got done cleaning my bathroom. 141 00:06:37,397 --> 00:06:39,031 Oh! 142 00:06:39,032 --> 00:06:41,001 Well, I can't wait to see you. 143 00:06:44,137 --> 00:06:47,606 Pregnancy test? 144 00:06:47,607 --> 00:06:48,975 Oh, I can't wait to see you, too. 145 00:06:48,976 --> 00:06:50,676 I was just about to head over. 146 00:06:50,677 --> 00:06:52,678 Are you sure you have enough candy? 147 00:06:52,679 --> 00:06:55,524 Completely sure, positive. 148 00:06:56,517 --> 00:06:58,217 I can stop. 149 00:06:58,218 --> 00:07:00,653 I've been through this a couple times before. 150 00:07:00,654 --> 00:07:02,022 100% sure. 151 00:07:03,623 --> 00:07:04,991 You want to come over here 152 00:07:04,992 --> 00:07:06,726 instead of handing out candy all night? 153 00:07:06,727 --> 00:07:08,194 What am I supposed to do, leave it in a basket 154 00:07:08,195 --> 00:07:10,764 outside the door and hope someone takes it? 155 00:07:13,800 --> 00:07:15,267 That's not how I was raised. 156 00:07:15,268 --> 00:07:17,269 Eso! 157 00:07:17,270 --> 00:07:18,471 What, Mami? 158 00:07:18,472 --> 00:07:20,840 Queso! 159 00:07:20,841 --> 00:07:24,243 It's Spanish for "cheese." 160 00:07:24,244 --> 00:07:27,114 Saved it. 161 00:12:23,877 --> 00:12:25,745 Heh! 162 00:12:27,814 --> 00:12:30,850 [Both humming] 163 00:12:31,651 --> 00:12:33,653 [Both laugh] 164 00:12:34,087 --> 00:12:37,423 Oh, I got to admit, "Grease" was a great costume idea. 165 00:12:37,424 --> 00:12:40,926 Right? Because we go together. 166 00:12:40,927 --> 00:12:42,795 Is it weird that I'm really attracted to you 167 00:12:42,796 --> 00:12:45,964 even though you're technically dressed as a high-school girl? 168 00:12:45,965 --> 00:12:49,968 Nah. Every teen in that movie was pushing 40. 169 00:12:49,969 --> 00:12:53,056 Instead of zits, they were worried about liver spots. 170 00:12:54,425 --> 00:12:57,828 Presenting the House of Schneider! 171 00:13:01,348 --> 00:13:05,452 Serving Halloween Extravaganza realness. 172 00:13:10,056 --> 00:13:12,158 Well, do you get it? 173 00:13:12,159 --> 00:13:14,326 Drag... race. 174 00:13:14,327 --> 00:13:16,462 - You're drag race. - Yes! 175 00:13:16,463 --> 00:13:17,930 Thank you! 176 00:13:17,931 --> 00:13:20,132 I mean, it's really more of a history lesson in heels. 177 00:13:20,133 --> 00:13:25,105 The full title is "Drag Race... A Drag Queen Started Stonewall." 178 00:13:26,339 --> 00:13:28,607 Oh, "Drag Race." That's cute. 179 00:13:28,608 --> 00:13:31,844 Oh, no, don't say that. 180 00:13:31,845 --> 00:13:33,279 Cute? 181 00:13:33,280 --> 00:13:37,349 Do you think I tucked and taped for cute? 182 00:13:37,350 --> 00:13:38,684 You're in a dress. 183 00:13:38,685 --> 00:13:41,320 I think you tucked and taped for nothing. 184 00:13:41,321 --> 00:13:43,355 Cute's for losers. 185 00:13:43,356 --> 00:13:46,026 Last year, I went as the "Hang in There" cat. 186 00:13:47,794 --> 00:13:49,361 Nothing. 187 00:13:49,362 --> 00:13:51,197 I almost gave up for good, and then I looked in the mirror, 188 00:13:51,198 --> 00:13:53,600 and something inspired me to keep going. 189 00:13:55,602 --> 00:13:58,038 Anyway, back to the drawing board. 190 00:14:00,874 --> 00:14:03,008 He actually draws on a board. 191 00:14:03,009 --> 00:14:04,076 Stick figures. 192 00:14:04,077 --> 00:14:07,012 It's very sad. 193 00:14:07,013 --> 00:14:08,948 I can fix him. 194 00:14:08,949 --> 00:14:12,151 [Door closes] 195 00:14:12,152 --> 00:14:13,919 - She's a lucky woman. - Yeah. 196 00:14:13,920 --> 00:14:16,488 Alright, now it's time for a little summer lovin', 197 00:14:16,489 --> 00:14:18,490 and, by summer, I mean, October, and by lovin', 198 00:14:18,491 --> 00:14:21,160 - I mean wine. - [Knock on door] 199 00:14:21,161 --> 00:14:23,028 [Pounding on door] 200 00:14:23,029 --> 00:14:24,530 Ooh! Candy duty calls! 201 00:14:24,531 --> 00:14:26,031 Ooh, our first trick-or-treaters. 202 00:14:26,032 --> 00:14:29,135 I love seeing those little cuties all dressed up! 203 00:14:33,373 --> 00:14:36,976 The Beast is here! 204 00:14:36,977 --> 00:14:39,212 So is the Beauty! 205 00:14:41,548 --> 00:14:42,848 Wow! 206 00:14:42,849 --> 00:14:44,083 Beauty and the Beast! 207 00:14:44,084 --> 00:14:46,418 You guys did a couple's costume, too! 208 00:14:46,419 --> 00:14:49,288 They were a couple? 209 00:14:49,289 --> 00:14:51,390 I never saw the movie. 210 00:14:51,391 --> 00:14:53,259 I thought it was about a beautiful woman 211 00:14:53,260 --> 00:14:55,862 and her pet dog in a tuxedo. 212 00:14:57,731 --> 00:15:01,259 Leslie, may I see you in the kitchen? 213 00:15:01,261 --> 00:15:02,435 Oh! 214 00:15:02,436 --> 00:15:04,771 Shall I be your guest? 215 00:15:07,073 --> 00:15:08,340 Why are you being weird? 216 00:15:08,341 --> 00:15:10,243 Get in the kitchen! 217 00:15:18,718 --> 00:15:21,454 Look. 218 00:15:32,832 --> 00:15:35,367 I don't know who the father is, but, I assure you, 219 00:15:35,368 --> 00:15:38,771 I will raise this baby as my own. 220 00:15:38,772 --> 00:15:39,838 No, Leslie. 221 00:15:39,839 --> 00:15:41,273 It is not my baby! 222 00:15:41,274 --> 00:15:44,244 Oh, thank God. I can't raise a baby. 223 00:15:45,445 --> 00:15:50,249 I... I can't even get up off of this knee. 224 00:15:50,250 --> 00:15:52,318 Maybe I should try one of those knee braces 225 00:15:52,319 --> 00:15:55,487 Penelope's raving about at work. 226 00:15:55,488 --> 00:15:59,091 Penelope is pregnant. 227 00:15:59,092 --> 00:16:02,394 Dios mio! 228 00:16:02,395 --> 00:16:04,797 Does Max know about this? 229 00:16:04,798 --> 00:16:08,200 I think that is what they are talking about right now. 230 00:16:08,201 --> 00:16:10,369 They deserve privacy. 231 00:16:10,370 --> 00:16:14,673 They're not gonna get it, but they deserve it. 232 00:16:14,674 --> 00:16:16,875 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. 233 00:16:16,876 --> 00:16:19,211 Okay. What should we hit them with first? 234 00:16:19,212 --> 00:16:22,481 How rising sea levels will destroy coastal communities, 235 00:16:22,482 --> 00:16:26,652 or the coming political chaos caused by widespread food insecurity? 236 00:16:26,653 --> 00:16:30,055 They're both so inevitable. 237 00:16:30,056 --> 00:16:32,958 Okay. You decide, and I'll use what I learned 238 00:16:32,959 --> 00:16:37,330 from my summer improv course to "Yes, and" whatever you say. 239 00:16:38,164 --> 00:16:39,966 Okay. 240 00:16:42,869 --> 00:16:45,237 Ooh, ooh, ooh! 241 00:16:45,238 --> 00:16:48,416 Anna and Olaf from "Frozen"! 242 00:16:49,809 --> 00:16:52,678 What? No, no, no. We're not from "Frozen." 243 00:16:52,679 --> 00:16:56,017 Yes, and what's not frozen is the Arctic! 244 00:16:57,384 --> 00:16:59,818 So cute. Two pieces of candy each! 245 00:16:59,819 --> 00:17:02,321 Oh! Thank you, but we actually are here because... 246 00:17:02,322 --> 00:17:03,956 [Both speaking indistinctly] 247 00:17:03,957 --> 00:17:06,559 We need a... 248 00:17:08,628 --> 00:17:10,596 He totally didn't realize that our costumes 249 00:17:10,597 --> 00:17:13,332 are making a radical political statement. 250 00:17:13,333 --> 00:17:16,034 He just thought we were adorable. 251 00:17:16,035 --> 00:17:19,271 [Scoffs] Men. 252 00:17:19,272 --> 00:17:22,508 Okay, well, let's not panic 253 00:17:22,509 --> 00:17:24,681 because we can get it right on this one. 254 00:17:30,817 --> 00:17:33,819 Hi. We're here to talk about climate... 255 00:17:33,820 --> 00:17:35,487 Oh, my stars! 256 00:17:35,488 --> 00:17:39,758 What very clever and timely costumes. 257 00:17:39,759 --> 00:17:41,160 Thank you! 258 00:17:41,161 --> 00:17:43,663 Dorothy and the tornado! 259 00:17:45,999 --> 00:17:48,500 We really didn't think this through. 260 00:17:48,501 --> 00:17:49,835 Well, here we go. 261 00:17:49,836 --> 00:17:52,070 Oh, uh, thank you so much, but, actually... 262 00:17:52,071 --> 00:17:54,441 We wanted to talk to you about climate change! 263 00:17:59,446 --> 00:18:01,413 What is going on? 264 00:18:01,414 --> 00:18:03,549 I'll tell you what's going on. 265 00:18:03,550 --> 00:18:05,984 Full-size candy bars! 266 00:18:05,985 --> 00:18:07,152 Let's try the next door. 267 00:18:07,153 --> 00:18:08,754 Oh, to see if they'll sign the petition. 268 00:18:08,755 --> 00:18:11,690 No, to see if they have Snickers. 269 00:18:11,691 --> 00:18:14,193 Yes, and maybe Twix? 270 00:18:14,194 --> 00:18:17,095 Yes. 271 00:18:17,096 --> 00:18:18,630 Alright, I'm calling it. 272 00:18:18,631 --> 00:18:20,766 Once the 30-year-old Spongebob comes around, 273 00:18:20,767 --> 00:18:24,102 it's time to close up shop. 274 00:18:24,103 --> 00:18:25,737 - Well, we did it. - Yes! 275 00:18:25,738 --> 00:18:28,574 Thanks for having me over. This was fun. 276 00:18:28,575 --> 00:18:31,076 Well, when Alex said he was done trick-or-treating, 277 00:18:31,077 --> 00:18:35,380 I realized a part of my life was ending, but... 278 00:18:35,381 --> 00:18:37,450 I guess another part is beginning. 279 00:18:39,652 --> 00:18:42,254 Sounds like we should make a toast. 280 00:18:42,255 --> 00:18:43,655 Yes. 281 00:18:43,656 --> 00:18:45,390 To new beginnings! 282 00:18:45,391 --> 00:18:48,026 Chardonnay is not for babies! 283 00:18:48,027 --> 00:18:49,361 What? 284 00:18:53,132 --> 00:18:55,067 What is happening? 285 00:18:55,068 --> 00:18:57,135 You are pregnant. 286 00:18:57,136 --> 00:18:58,670 You're pregnant? 287 00:18:58,671 --> 00:19:01,974 - No! - Well, how do you explain this? 288 00:19:01,975 --> 00:19:03,342 How do you explain this? 289 00:19:03,343 --> 00:19:05,344 Um, it's not mine. I'm not pregnant. 290 00:19:05,345 --> 00:19:06,879 So nobody's pregnant? 291 00:19:06,880 --> 00:19:10,949 Somebody is pregnant, according to the trash. 292 00:19:10,950 --> 00:19:12,084 Hold on. 293 00:19:12,085 --> 00:19:14,486 You found a pregnancy test in our trash can? 294 00:19:14,487 --> 00:19:16,388 Well, if it's not yours, then... 295 00:19:16,389 --> 00:19:17,556 [Gasps] 296 00:19:17,557 --> 00:19:19,926 Oh, could it be Elena's? 297 00:19:21,661 --> 00:19:24,464 Do you think she fell off the wagon? 298 00:19:32,038 --> 00:19:34,107 No, she really loves that wagon. 299 00:19:38,478 --> 00:19:40,446 Which means it could only be... 300 00:19:42,682 --> 00:19:44,883 - I think the only one... - Alex, yes! 301 00:19:44,884 --> 00:19:46,452 I know, Doc! 302 00:24:54,193 --> 00:24:55,728 [Breathes sharply] 303 00:24:57,763 --> 00:24:59,264 Okay, let me guess. 304 00:24:59,265 --> 00:25:02,300 The "kids" are in the car. 305 00:25:02,301 --> 00:25:04,002 No, no, no. Melba, hi. 306 00:25:04,003 --> 00:25:06,338 Soy Penelope Alvarez, le mama de Alex. 307 00:25:06,339 --> 00:25:07,772 We've spoken on the phone a couple times. 308 00:25:07,773 --> 00:25:09,541 It's so nice to meet you in person. 309 00:25:09,542 --> 00:25:11,509 Hi, Penelope. Que gusto conocerte. 310 00:25:11,510 --> 00:25:14,646 Este es mi esposo, Ramón. 311 00:25:14,647 --> 00:25:16,815 Hola, Ramón. Como estas? 312 00:25:16,816 --> 00:25:19,585 - This is my boyfriend. - Me llamo es Max. 313 00:25:21,320 --> 00:25:22,554 No, don't do that right now. 314 00:25:22,555 --> 00:25:26,758 Hi! Que bonita tu casa. 315 00:25:26,759 --> 00:25:29,073 Perdón, tengo que hablar con Alejandro. 316 00:25:29,075 --> 00:25:30,329 Alex! 317 00:25:30,330 --> 00:25:32,664 Get out here right now! 318 00:25:32,665 --> 00:25:35,100 Ustedes son de Puerto Rico? 319 00:25:35,101 --> 00:25:36,701 Sí. Cómo sabías? 320 00:25:36,702 --> 00:25:38,837 Que me encanta ese acento. 321 00:25:38,838 --> 00:25:40,438 Ay, gracias. 322 00:25:40,439 --> 00:25:41,840 What are you doing here? 323 00:25:41,841 --> 00:25:45,110 Why are you dressed like an old biker dude? 324 00:25:45,111 --> 00:25:46,544 I am Sandy from "Grease." 325 00:25:46,545 --> 00:25:48,213 You don't know who that is, either. 326 00:25:48,214 --> 00:25:49,414 Look. 327 00:25:49,415 --> 00:25:51,716 We need to talk about this. 328 00:25:51,717 --> 00:25:54,719 And we would love to be part of that conversation. 329 00:25:54,720 --> 00:25:55,954 Norita! 330 00:25:55,955 --> 00:25:57,389 [Speaking Spanish] 331 00:25:57,390 --> 00:25:59,024 She'll be out in a minute. 332 00:25:59,025 --> 00:26:00,859 Why are you showing me a pregnancy test? 333 00:26:00,860 --> 00:26:03,995 Don't give me that crap, you silver fox. 334 00:26:03,996 --> 00:26:05,964 - We found this at home. - Sí, Mami? 335 00:26:05,965 --> 00:26:09,534 Norita, what were you doing at Alex's house today? 336 00:26:09,535 --> 00:26:12,404 - What? Nothing. - Well, then somebody explain this. 337 00:26:12,405 --> 00:26:14,005 It's not ours. 338 00:26:14,006 --> 00:26:15,507 Alex, we found it in the trash. 339 00:26:15,508 --> 00:26:17,876 It's not mine, no Abuelita's, not Elena's. 340 00:26:17,877 --> 00:26:20,078 - How is it not yours? - Because it's not, all right? 341 00:26:20,079 --> 00:26:23,316 - What other explanation is there? - It's impossible! 342 00:26:25,117 --> 00:26:27,386 We haven't had sex, okay? 343 00:26:31,891 --> 00:26:33,425 Really? 344 00:26:33,426 --> 00:26:35,328 Look at me. 345 00:26:37,496 --> 00:26:39,864 No sex at all? 346 00:26:39,865 --> 00:26:42,133 Oh, my God! No sex. 347 00:26:42,134 --> 00:26:43,970 Just over the shirt stuff! 348 00:26:45,771 --> 00:26:48,740 You probably didn't need that information. 349 00:26:48,741 --> 00:26:51,610 Can we all stop talking about this now, please? 350 00:26:52,445 --> 00:26:55,981 Yeah. Ooh! 351 00:26:55,982 --> 00:27:00,485 What a memorable first meeting, huh, Melba? 352 00:27:00,486 --> 00:27:04,456 I'm glad we figured this out without too much embarrassment, right? 353 00:27:04,457 --> 00:27:06,157 Mucho gusto. 354 00:27:06,158 --> 00:27:07,392 Sí. 355 00:27:07,393 --> 00:27:08,693 Sí, mucho Halloween! 356 00:27:08,694 --> 00:27:09,794 Hey! 357 00:27:09,795 --> 00:27:12,365 Sorry! I took German in high school. 358 00:27:14,066 --> 00:27:16,901 I thought you were out doing a political crusade. 359 00:27:16,902 --> 00:27:19,671 Oh, we tried, believe me, but sometimes you dress up 360 00:27:19,672 --> 00:27:21,406 to discuss the coming global disaster, 361 00:27:21,407 --> 00:27:25,110 but people think you're the Swiss Miss girl and mashed potatoes. 362 00:27:25,111 --> 00:27:27,479 But that's okay because this is gonna give us 363 00:27:27,480 --> 00:27:29,915 so much energy to fight harder tomorrow! 364 00:27:31,751 --> 00:27:35,286 Yeah. Who knew Halloween was fun? 365 00:27:35,287 --> 00:27:37,823 Literally everybody. 366 00:27:41,460 --> 00:27:45,296 Elena, is there any way 367 00:27:45,297 --> 00:27:49,402 this positive pregnancy test is yours? 368 00:27:51,437 --> 00:27:53,873 How many times do you want me to come out? 369 00:27:57,977 --> 00:28:01,179 You do know you need a man for that, right? 370 00:28:01,180 --> 00:28:05,351 Excuse me, I think the Virgin Mary would clap back. 371 00:28:10,456 --> 00:28:13,024 Alright, well, I'm not pregnant. 372 00:28:13,025 --> 00:28:15,727 Oh! For a second, they had me convinced. 373 00:28:15,728 --> 00:28:18,030 I mean, you are a saint. 374 00:28:19,999 --> 00:28:21,599 Well, this has to belong to someone. 375 00:28:21,600 --> 00:28:23,869 It didn't just appear by magic. 376 00:28:26,372 --> 00:28:30,341 Oh, my God! 377 00:28:30,342 --> 00:28:33,111 - Whoo! - No! 378 00:28:33,112 --> 00:28:37,749 Don't compliment us. We came in second. We lost to Elton John! 379 00:28:37,750 --> 00:28:40,518 Oh, who was dressed like Elton John? 380 00:28:40,519 --> 00:28:44,756 No, we lost to Elton John, 381 00:28:44,757 --> 00:28:47,525 who was dressed as Garfield eating lasagne. 382 00:28:47,526 --> 00:28:49,462 It was adorable! 383 00:28:54,366 --> 00:28:57,969 Where did you find that? 384 00:28:57,970 --> 00:28:59,672 Is this yours? 385 00:29:08,647 --> 00:29:10,482 Congratulations! 386 00:29:10,483 --> 00:29:11,649 Lovely! 387 00:29:11,650 --> 00:29:15,621 Why are you congratulating her? I told you, we lost! 388 00:29:17,690 --> 00:29:18,723 Hey. 389 00:29:18,724 --> 00:29:20,458 Don't cry. 390 00:29:20,459 --> 00:29:22,228 Hang in there. 391 00:29:26,966 --> 00:29:29,134 Okay. 392 00:29:29,135 --> 00:29:32,370 Well, I didn't think I'd be telling you like this. 393 00:29:32,371 --> 00:29:36,908 That's why I put it in their trash because I wasn't sure how you'd react. 394 00:29:36,909 --> 00:29:39,512 Well, I mean, it's not like we planned this. 395 00:29:42,348 --> 00:29:44,317 So what are you saying? 396 00:29:47,119 --> 00:29:48,988 I'm pregnant. 397 00:29:55,995 --> 00:29:57,829 So, does this mean you're happy? 398 00:29:57,830 --> 00:29:58,964 Yes! 399 00:29:58,965 --> 00:30:00,732 Are you? 400 00:30:00,733 --> 00:30:01,833 Yeah. 401 00:30:01,834 --> 00:30:04,303 [Laughs] 402 00:30:10,142 --> 00:30:14,112 This is so much better than an iPad mini. 403 00:30:14,113 --> 00:30:18,483 Oh! Congratulations, you two! 404 00:30:18,484 --> 00:30:22,053 Oh, yes, and we are here for you if you need us. 405 00:30:22,054 --> 00:30:25,457 And you will. 406 00:30:25,458 --> 00:30:27,125 I'm gonna be a tío. 407 00:30:27,126 --> 00:30:28,560 I'm gonna be a tía. 408 00:30:28,561 --> 00:30:31,763 I'm gonna be a tí-x! 409 00:30:31,764 --> 00:30:34,432 Well, this calls for a celebration. 410 00:30:34,433 --> 00:30:36,001 Hey, Grandpa. 411 00:30:36,002 --> 00:30:38,404 Will you take us all out for ice cream? 412 00:30:40,106 --> 00:30:41,373 Let's keep the hair. 413 00:30:41,374 --> 00:30:44,243 It's silver, but the jokes are gold. 29179

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