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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:19,287 --> 00:00:20,588 OH! 2 00:00:20,621 --> 00:00:22,623 BAZOOKA JOE... 3 00:00:24,925 --> 00:00:27,328 YOU'RE AN IMBECILE! 4 00:00:29,163 --> 00:00:30,431 GOOD MORNING. 5 00:00:30,464 --> 00:00:33,067 DR. ALBRIGHT! 6 00:00:33,101 --> 00:00:37,771 ARGGH! 7 00:00:37,805 --> 00:00:39,740 I AM ABOUT TO REVEAL... 8 00:00:39,773 --> 00:00:42,443 SOMETHING ASTOUNDING. 9 00:00:42,476 --> 00:00:45,813 I THINK YOU'RE OVERESTIMATING YOURSELF. 10 00:00:45,846 --> 00:00:47,315 BEHOLD... 11 00:00:47,348 --> 00:00:48,349 AN ATM CARD. 12 00:00:48,382 --> 00:00:50,251 OH. 13 00:00:50,284 --> 00:00:51,885 CONGRATULATIONS. 14 00:00:51,919 --> 00:00:52,953 YOU'RE NOW A MEMBER 15 00:00:52,986 --> 00:00:57,858 OF A VERY ELITE GROUP OF 2...300 MILLION AMERICANS. 16 00:00:57,891 --> 00:01:00,027 MY NAME IS RAISED. YOU CAN TOUCH IT. 17 00:01:00,060 --> 00:01:01,395 UH, NO... 18 00:01:01,429 --> 00:01:02,196 THANKS. 19 00:01:02,230 --> 00:01:05,999 WHEN I PRESS IT INTO MY FOREHEAD... 20 00:01:06,033 --> 00:01:09,303 YOU CAN READ MY NAME BACKWARDS. 21 00:01:09,337 --> 00:01:10,304 PACE YOURSELF. 22 00:01:10,338 --> 00:01:13,073 WE HAVE A WHOLE SEMESTER. 23 00:01:13,107 --> 00:01:14,775 NINA, DID I SHOW YOU MY NEW A-- YES. 24 00:01:14,808 --> 00:01:18,879 AND, NO, I DON'T WANT TO FEEL IT. 25 00:01:18,912 --> 00:01:20,381 I HAVE A GREAT IDEA. 26 00:01:20,414 --> 00:01:23,951 WHY DON'T I USE MY NEW ATM CARD TO WITHDRAW MONEY 27 00:01:23,984 --> 00:01:26,154 FROM ONE OF MANY CONVENIENT LOCATIONS-- 28 00:01:26,187 --> 00:01:28,389 EVEN AFTER BUSINESS HOURS... 29 00:01:28,422 --> 00:01:31,125 AND TAKE YOU OUT TO DINNER TOMORROW NIGHT? 30 00:01:31,159 --> 00:01:32,293 ALL RIGHT. 31 00:01:32,326 --> 00:01:33,994 REALLY? 32 00:01:34,027 --> 00:01:35,463 YES. 33 00:01:35,496 --> 00:01:37,831 YOU DO UNDERSTAND IT'S...DINNER? 34 00:01:37,865 --> 00:01:39,333 OUT? 35 00:01:39,367 --> 00:01:40,634 YES. 36 00:01:40,668 --> 00:01:42,870 BUT NOT JUST DINNER OUT OF THE HOUSE. 37 00:01:42,903 --> 00:01:44,972 DINNER OUT OF THE CAR. 38 00:01:45,005 --> 00:01:46,874 WELL, OUT IT IS. 39 00:01:46,907 --> 00:01:49,343 ALL I HAVE TO DO IS PUT THIS INTO THE ATM, 40 00:01:49,377 --> 00:01:53,647 PUNCH IN MY SECRET CODE-- 1234... 41 00:01:53,681 --> 00:01:57,585 OH, NO! 42 00:01:57,618 --> 00:02:00,621 I WASN'T SUPPOSED TO REVEAL THAT CODE TO ANYONE! 43 00:02:00,654 --> 00:02:03,391 NOW YOU'LL HAVE TO KILL US. 44 00:02:03,424 --> 00:02:03,957 OH! 45 00:02:03,991 --> 00:02:06,527 [ROCK MUSIC PLAYS] 46 00:02:37,491 --> 00:02:39,493 THAT WAS THE MALL. WASN'T IT GREAT? 47 00:02:39,527 --> 00:02:40,861 HOW WOULD I KNOW? 48 00:02:40,894 --> 00:02:42,095 THE ESCALATOR BROKE DOWN, 49 00:02:42,129 --> 00:02:46,166 AND I WAS STUCK THERE FOR 1 1/2 HOURS. 50 00:02:46,200 --> 00:02:48,068 I THINK THE ENTIRE PLANET 51 00:02:48,101 --> 00:02:50,238 SHOULD BE COVERED BY ONE BIG ROOF. 52 00:02:50,271 --> 00:02:52,340 AND WE SHOULD NEVER BE MORE THAN 15 FEET 53 00:02:52,373 --> 00:02:54,908 FROM A WEENIE ON A STICK. 54 00:02:54,942 --> 00:02:57,010 TOMMY, LOOK WHAT I BOUGHT. 55 00:02:57,044 --> 00:02:58,246 A BASKETBALL? 56 00:02:58,279 --> 00:03:00,414 YOU SHOULD JOIN YOUR SCHOOL'S TEAM. 57 00:03:00,448 --> 00:03:01,615 WHY? 58 00:03:01,649 --> 00:03:03,317 BECAUSE IT'S IMPORTANT YOU EXPERIENCE 59 00:03:03,351 --> 00:03:05,219 THE HUMILIATION OF ADOLESCENT BOYS 60 00:03:05,253 --> 00:03:06,787 AT THE HANDS OF BITTER ADULTS 61 00:03:06,820 --> 00:03:09,790 TRYING TO REWRITE THE FAILURES OF THEIR YOUTH. 62 00:03:10,691 --> 00:03:12,493 IT'LL BE FUN. 63 00:03:13,794 --> 00:03:14,862 ALL RIGHT. 64 00:03:14,895 --> 00:03:17,665 WHO RIPPED THE RADIO FROM THE DASHBOARD? 65 00:03:17,698 --> 00:03:18,766 WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 66 00:03:18,799 --> 00:03:19,900 THE RADIO. IT'S GONE. 67 00:03:19,933 --> 00:03:21,902 WAIT A MINUTE. 68 00:03:21,935 --> 00:03:24,004 I KNOW WHAT'S HAPPENED HERE. 69 00:03:24,037 --> 00:03:26,507 YOU SEE IT ALL THE TIME ON THE NEWS. 70 00:03:26,540 --> 00:03:28,242 OH, UH... 71 00:03:28,276 --> 00:03:29,677 TOUPEES! 72 00:03:31,512 --> 00:03:32,580 NO. CRIME. 73 00:03:32,613 --> 00:03:34,548 WE'RE VICTIMS OF CRIME. 74 00:03:34,582 --> 00:03:35,849 WHAT'LL WE DO NOW? 75 00:03:35,883 --> 00:03:39,587 I THINK WE ALL KNOW WHAT WE HAVE TO DO. 76 00:03:39,620 --> 00:03:41,389 * DOH DOH DOH 77 00:03:41,422 --> 00:03:42,756 * ANOTHER ONE BITES THE DUST * 78 00:03:42,790 --> 00:03:43,524 * SSS SSS 79 00:03:43,557 --> 00:03:45,225 * BOM BOM BOM 80 00:03:45,259 --> 00:03:46,860 * ANOTHER ONE BITES THE DUST * 81 00:03:46,894 --> 00:03:47,895 * AND ANOTHER ONE'S GONE 82 00:03:47,928 --> 00:03:48,762 * AND ANOTHER ONE'S GONE 83 00:03:48,796 --> 00:03:50,130 * AND ANOTHER ONE BITES THE DUST * 84 00:03:50,163 --> 00:03:54,568 * HEY 85 00:03:54,602 --> 00:03:56,604 I CAN'T BELIEVE DICK DID THIS TO ME. 86 00:03:56,637 --> 00:03:58,439 WHY DO I HAVE TO PLAY BASKETBALL? 87 00:03:58,472 --> 00:04:01,542 I KNOW, AND TEAM SPORTS ARE SO INFANTILE. 88 00:04:01,575 --> 00:04:02,710 IT'S ALL MASCULINE POSTURING, 89 00:04:02,743 --> 00:04:04,278 ALL THAT PREENING AND FLEXING. 90 00:04:04,312 --> 00:04:06,079 EXACTLY. 91 00:04:06,113 --> 00:04:06,980 WHAT I REALLY HATE 92 00:04:07,014 --> 00:04:08,349 IS THAT THERE'S SOME PRIMITIVE PART OF ME 93 00:04:08,382 --> 00:04:12,453 THAT REALLY RESPONDS TO THAT. 94 00:04:12,486 --> 00:04:14,755 AND WHAT I REALLY HATE IS BEING CURSED 95 00:04:14,788 --> 00:04:17,725 WITH THE HEART OF A CHAMPION. 96 00:04:25,132 --> 00:04:27,134 WHAT IS HARRY DOING? 97 00:04:27,167 --> 00:04:28,936 IT'S PART OF MY NEW SECURITY PROCEDURES. 98 00:04:28,969 --> 00:04:29,903 OOH. RED ALERT. 99 00:04:29,937 --> 00:04:31,905 [HIGH-PITCHED ALARM] 100 00:04:33,707 --> 00:04:39,246 THERE'S A SQUIRREL APPROACHING THE BUILDING. 101 00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:40,714 THIS SEEMS A BIT EXTREME, LIEUTENANT. 102 00:04:40,748 --> 00:04:43,984 WITH ALL DUE RESPECT, HIGH COMMANDER, BUTT OUT. 103 00:04:44,017 --> 00:04:45,419 SECURITY'S MY DOMAIN. 104 00:04:45,453 --> 00:04:47,187 I'LL TAKE THE BLAME FOR THE RADIO. 105 00:04:47,220 --> 00:04:48,021 OH, PLEASE... 106 00:04:48,055 --> 00:04:49,323 I SHOULD HAVE BEEN GUARDING THE RAMBLER 107 00:04:49,357 --> 00:04:51,024 INSTEAD OF SHOPPING FOR LOOFAHS. 108 00:04:51,058 --> 00:04:53,394 YOU'RE OVERREACTING. 109 00:04:53,427 --> 00:04:57,164 DICK, THIS PLANET IS IN A BAD NEIGHBORHOOD. 110 00:04:57,197 --> 00:04:58,866 [SIGHS] 111 00:04:58,899 --> 00:05:01,535 WE HAVE BEEN ON FAR WORSE PLANETS THAN THIS, 112 00:05:01,569 --> 00:05:05,539 INHABITED BY CREATURES WITH FAR WORSE BREATH. 113 00:05:05,573 --> 00:05:08,108 AT LEAST WE'RE ON A PLANET THAT'S GOVERNED BY LAWS. 114 00:05:08,141 --> 00:05:10,210 YOU'RE TOO DISTRUSTFUL OF HUMANS. 115 00:05:10,243 --> 00:05:12,245 IT'S THOSE TWO LITTLE EYES 116 00:05:12,279 --> 00:05:14,882 RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THEIR HEAD. 117 00:05:14,915 --> 00:05:16,617 MAKES THEM ALL LOOK LIKE THEY'RE UP TO SOMETHING. 118 00:05:16,650 --> 00:05:17,918 KNOCK, KNOCK-- 119 00:05:17,951 --> 00:05:20,253 [ALARM] 120 00:05:20,287 --> 00:05:23,090 HI. I HEARD ABOUT YOUR CAR RADIO. 121 00:05:23,123 --> 00:05:24,057 DID YOU CALL THE COPS? 122 00:05:24,091 --> 00:05:25,593 I DON'T THINK THAT'S NECESSARY. 123 00:05:25,626 --> 00:05:29,663 GO DOWN TO THE STATION AND ASK FOR OFFICER FRANCO. 124 00:05:29,697 --> 00:05:32,666 AN ITALIAN GENTLEMAN. VERY NICE. 125 00:05:33,901 --> 00:05:38,372 CAME RIGHT OVER WHEN MY BOYFRIEND GOT BEAT UP IN MY HOUSE. 126 00:05:38,406 --> 00:05:40,307 YOUR BOYFRIEND GOT BEAT UP IN YOUR OWN HOUSE? 127 00:05:40,340 --> 00:05:42,676 YEAH. MY HUSBAND DIDN'T CARE FOR HIM. 128 00:05:42,710 --> 00:05:44,612 OH. 129 00:05:53,120 --> 00:05:54,688 WOW! 130 00:05:55,889 --> 00:05:57,057 [SNIFFS] 131 00:05:57,090 --> 00:05:59,226 I SMELL THE FIST OF JUSTICE. 132 00:06:01,261 --> 00:06:02,195 I SMELL DOUGHNUTS. 133 00:06:02,229 --> 00:06:03,864 HMM. 134 00:06:05,232 --> 00:06:06,900 CAN'T YOU FEEL IT, HARRY-- 135 00:06:06,934 --> 00:06:09,503 THE STIFLING SENSE OF ORDER, 136 00:06:09,537 --> 00:06:10,704 THE DISCIPLINE, 137 00:06:10,738 --> 00:06:13,106 THE ALMOST ROBOTIC LACK OF EMOTION, 138 00:06:13,140 --> 00:06:15,242 THE FLUORESCENT LIGHTS? 139 00:06:15,275 --> 00:06:17,210 GOD HELP ME... 140 00:06:17,244 --> 00:06:18,446 [BREATHES DEEPLY] 141 00:06:18,479 --> 00:06:20,514 I LOVE IT! 142 00:06:21,348 --> 00:06:23,183 WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU? 143 00:06:25,586 --> 00:06:27,588 JUST LET ME BE NEAR YOU. 144 00:06:29,322 --> 00:06:31,492 O.K. 145 00:06:32,259 --> 00:06:33,827 MY NAME'S OFFICER DON. 146 00:06:33,861 --> 00:06:36,864 WELL, OFFICER DON, WE'RE HERE TO REPORT A CRIME. 147 00:06:36,897 --> 00:06:39,433 I BLAME MYSELF. I DROPPED MY GUARD. 148 00:06:39,467 --> 00:06:40,534 IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT. 149 00:06:40,568 --> 00:06:42,069 CRIME HAPPENS. 150 00:06:42,102 --> 00:06:44,738 RUTHERFORD MAY LOOK LIKE SMALL-TOWN AMERICA, 151 00:06:44,772 --> 00:06:47,207 BUT JUST BENEATH THE WELL-MANICURED LAWNS 152 00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:50,043 LIES A HOTBED OF CRIMINAL ACTIVITY. 153 00:06:50,077 --> 00:06:52,345 WE MAY BE IN THE SHADOW OF CLEVELAND, 154 00:06:52,379 --> 00:06:55,583 BUT IT'S IN THE SHADOWS WHERE EVIL LURKS. 155 00:06:57,785 --> 00:06:58,686 WOW. 156 00:06:58,719 --> 00:07:01,021 HEY, WHEN YOU DO THIS... 157 00:07:01,054 --> 00:07:03,724 IT SORT OF LOOKS LIKE NYPD BLUE, HUH? 158 00:07:03,757 --> 00:07:04,892 HUH? 159 00:07:04,925 --> 00:07:07,661 AHH! NYPD BLUE, HUH? 160 00:07:12,265 --> 00:07:13,133 WHAT HAPPENED? 161 00:07:13,166 --> 00:07:14,902 THE RADIO WAS STOLEN FROM OUR RAMBLER. 162 00:07:14,935 --> 00:07:16,537 A.M.--WITH THOSE PUSH BUTTONS? 163 00:07:16,570 --> 00:07:17,471 YES. 164 00:07:17,505 --> 00:07:19,072 THOSE SICK BASTARDS! 165 00:07:21,241 --> 00:07:22,375 FILL OUT THIS FORM. 166 00:07:22,409 --> 00:07:23,544 FORM? THEN WHAT HAPPENS? 167 00:07:23,577 --> 00:07:24,645 I MAKE A COPY OF IT. 168 00:07:24,678 --> 00:07:25,713 AND THEN? 169 00:07:25,746 --> 00:07:28,248 THEN ON THURSDAY, A GIRL COMES IN AND FILES IT. 170 00:07:28,281 --> 00:07:29,983 PAPERWORK. 171 00:07:30,017 --> 00:07:31,885 IF I HAD MY WAY, I'D BE OUT THERE, 172 00:07:31,919 --> 00:07:34,087 PUTTING THE RATS BACK IN THEIR HOLES. 173 00:07:34,121 --> 00:07:35,823 IF I HAD A GUN LIKE THAT, 174 00:07:35,856 --> 00:07:37,357 I WOULDN'T BE SITTING BEHIND A DESK 175 00:07:37,390 --> 00:07:40,327 UNTIL I RAN OUT OF BULLETS. 176 00:07:50,303 --> 00:07:51,304 HI. 177 00:07:51,338 --> 00:07:53,273 SO, UH, WHAT ARE YOU HERE FOR? 178 00:07:53,306 --> 00:07:56,076 THEY PICKED ME UP FOR VAGRANCY, 179 00:07:56,109 --> 00:07:57,945 BUT THAT'S NOT THE REAL REASON. 180 00:07:57,978 --> 00:08:00,781 I'M HERE BECAUSE THEY KNOW 181 00:08:00,814 --> 00:08:02,315 I'M FROM THE PLANET CLARION 182 00:08:02,349 --> 00:08:03,416 IN THE BART SPIRAL 183 00:08:03,450 --> 00:08:06,319 IN THE CEEFIUS DRAKELAND...BORDER. 184 00:08:09,056 --> 00:08:11,625 DO YOU KNOW STEVE? 185 00:08:14,161 --> 00:08:15,996 DEAR LORD... 186 00:08:16,029 --> 00:08:18,966 IF IT BE WITHIN YOUR GREAT WISDOM AND MERCY, 187 00:08:18,999 --> 00:08:21,034 PLEASE GRANT US THE STRENGTH AND COURAGE 188 00:08:21,068 --> 00:08:24,404 TO BEAT THE HELL OUT OF THE CENTRAL HIGH MUSKRATS. 189 00:08:24,437 --> 00:08:25,405 EXCUSE ME, COACH. 190 00:08:25,438 --> 00:08:27,575 WE'RE PRAYING, SOLOMON. 191 00:08:27,608 --> 00:08:31,411 SHOULD WE BE BOTHERING GOD OVER A BASKETBALL GAME? 192 00:08:31,779 --> 00:08:33,080 WELL, THIS IS IMPORTANT. 193 00:08:33,113 --> 00:08:37,017 BUT THE OTHER TEAM'S PRAYING, TOO. 194 00:08:37,050 --> 00:08:39,787 SO, OUR GOD IS STRONGER THAN THEIR GOD? 195 00:08:39,820 --> 00:08:41,855 THERE'S ONLY ONE GOD, SOLOMON. 196 00:08:41,889 --> 00:08:44,357 AM I THE ONLY ONE SEEING A CONFLICT OF INTEREST? 197 00:08:44,391 --> 00:08:46,359 YES! 198 00:08:46,393 --> 00:08:48,295 ALL RIGHT! OUT ON THE COURT! LET'S GO! 199 00:08:48,328 --> 00:08:51,298 HUSTLE IT OUT THERE! GET OUT THERE! 200 00:08:51,331 --> 00:08:52,966 COACH, WHAT ABOUT ME? 201 00:08:53,000 --> 00:08:54,968 SORRY, SOLOMON, YOU'RE NOT TALL ENOUGH. 202 00:08:55,002 --> 00:08:56,269 WHAT ARE YOU SAYING? 203 00:08:56,303 --> 00:08:59,306 YOU'RE TOO DAMN SHORT! 204 00:08:59,339 --> 00:08:59,707 LOOK OUT! 205 00:08:59,740 --> 00:09:01,675 OH! 206 00:09:03,677 --> 00:09:07,014 WHY, YES, I WILL HAVE ANOTHER TRANSACTION. 207 00:09:07,047 --> 00:09:09,149 AND THIS TIME IN... 208 00:09:09,182 --> 00:09:11,084 ESPAÑOL. 209 00:09:13,821 --> 00:09:14,788 I'LL BE DONE SHORTLY. 210 00:09:14,822 --> 00:09:16,356 I WANT TO SEE WHAT MY LIMIT IS. 211 00:09:16,389 --> 00:09:18,158 TAKE YOUR TIME. 212 00:09:18,191 --> 00:09:20,427 I PUT THE CARD IN AND MONEY COMES OUT. 213 00:09:20,460 --> 00:09:22,295 CARD IN, MONEY OUT. 214 00:09:22,329 --> 00:09:27,935 OH! AS MUCH AS I WANT OVER AND OVER AGAIN. ISN'T IT AMAZING? 215 00:09:27,968 --> 00:09:29,803 YEAH. NOW GIVE IT TO ME. 216 00:09:29,837 --> 00:09:34,107 UH, NO. THIS IS MY MONEY. 217 00:09:34,141 --> 00:09:35,475 BUT I'M SURE YOU CAN HAVE YOUR OWN CARD-- 218 00:09:35,508 --> 00:09:37,645 QUIT FOOLING AROUND. HAND IT OVER. 219 00:09:37,678 --> 00:09:39,680 LET ME EXPLAIN THIS TO YOU AGAIN. 220 00:09:39,713 --> 00:09:42,382 THIS $300 IS MINE, 221 00:09:42,415 --> 00:09:44,652 JUST LIKE THE 100 I PUT IN MY WALLET. 222 00:09:44,685 --> 00:09:45,585 YEOW. 223 00:09:45,619 --> 00:09:47,120 WHOA. 224 00:09:50,624 --> 00:09:51,759 THIS IS ALL MY FAULT. 225 00:09:51,792 --> 00:09:54,561 WHAT WAS I THINKING, LETTING YOU GO OUT BY YOURSELF? 226 00:09:54,594 --> 00:09:57,631 A MAN WHO STEALS A WALLET IS CAPABLE OF ANYTHING. 227 00:09:57,665 --> 00:09:59,599 HE COULD HAVE PUT YOU IN A VAT OF SALINE 228 00:09:59,633 --> 00:10:01,902 AND HARVESTED YOUR ORGANS FOR MONTHS, 229 00:10:01,935 --> 00:10:05,205 FORCING YOU TO REGENERATE KIDNEY AFTER KIDNEY! 230 00:10:05,238 --> 00:10:06,473 OH, STOP! 231 00:10:06,506 --> 00:10:08,575 JUST RELAX AND CALM DOWN. 232 00:10:08,608 --> 00:10:09,509 HOW CAN I CALM DOWN? 233 00:10:09,542 --> 00:10:13,446 I FEEL SO UTTERLY EXPOSED AND VULNERABLE... 234 00:10:13,480 --> 00:10:18,051 AND NOT IN THAT FUN, SPANKY WAY. 235 00:10:18,085 --> 00:10:19,987 O.K. YOU'RE SAFE NOW. 236 00:10:20,020 --> 00:10:21,221 WHAT KIND OF PLACE IS THIS 237 00:10:21,254 --> 00:10:25,592 WHERE YOU CAN'T WAVE MONEY AROUND IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT? 238 00:10:25,625 --> 00:10:28,328 DID THIS GUY HAVE ANY DISTINGUISHING MARKS? 239 00:10:28,361 --> 00:10:31,098 HIS SKIN WAS RATHER NICE. 240 00:10:31,131 --> 00:10:33,701 WELL, I CAN SEE THAT YOU'RE PRETTY UPSET, 241 00:10:33,734 --> 00:10:35,669 SO I'LL GIVE MY HOME PHONE NUMBER 242 00:10:35,703 --> 00:10:38,638 TO YOUR SISTER. 243 00:10:40,741 --> 00:10:42,676 CALL IF YOU HAVE ANY... 244 00:10:42,710 --> 00:10:44,611 NEEDS. 245 00:10:47,681 --> 00:10:48,949 OH. 246 00:10:48,982 --> 00:10:50,818 WHY DID THIS HAVE TO HAPPEN? 247 00:10:50,851 --> 00:10:51,819 IT WAS LATE. 248 00:10:51,852 --> 00:10:54,888 WHY WAS I THERE TAKING OUT THAT MONEY? 249 00:10:54,922 --> 00:10:56,023 DON'T BLAME YOURSELF. 250 00:10:56,056 --> 00:10:57,991 I DON'T. I BLAME YOU! WHAT? 251 00:10:58,025 --> 00:11:00,260 YOU AGREED TO GO OUT WITH ME. 252 00:11:00,293 --> 00:11:01,795 WHY'D YOU PICK NOW TO SAY YES? 253 00:11:01,829 --> 00:11:02,763 I DON'T KNOW. 254 00:11:02,796 --> 00:11:04,597 SEE? YOU WEREN'T THINKING. 255 00:11:04,631 --> 00:11:06,133 YOU CAN'T TAKE A RANDOM ACT, 256 00:11:06,166 --> 00:11:08,001 TURN IT AROUND, AND BLAME AN INNOCENT PERSON. 257 00:11:08,035 --> 00:11:09,602 JUST WATCH ME! 258 00:11:09,636 --> 00:11:11,604 WHY'D I THINK TONIGHT WOULD BE DIFFERENT? 259 00:11:11,638 --> 00:11:12,873 YOU'RE INSANE! 260 00:11:12,906 --> 00:11:14,041 THE WORLD'S INSANE! 261 00:11:14,074 --> 00:11:15,776 THEY TALK ABOUT THE UNIVERSE BEING RANDOM. 262 00:11:15,809 --> 00:11:17,677 THIS PLACE IS RANDOM! 263 00:11:17,711 --> 00:11:18,545 I'M LEAVING! 264 00:11:18,578 --> 00:11:20,680 PEOPLE ASSAULTING TOTAL STRANGERS 265 00:11:20,714 --> 00:11:22,850 FOR NO OTHER REASON THAN TO TAKE THEIR MONEY! 266 00:11:22,883 --> 00:11:24,785 THAT'S RIGHT! RUN AWAY! 267 00:11:24,818 --> 00:11:27,387 SOONER OR LATER, YOU'LL HAVE TO FACE THE FACT 268 00:11:27,420 --> 00:11:29,857 THAT THE EARTH IS A COLD, DARK, AND EVIL PLACE, 269 00:11:29,890 --> 00:11:31,992 CRAWLING WITH CRAZED NE'ER-DO-WELLS 270 00:11:32,025 --> 00:11:33,861 AND LARCENOUS JACKANAPES! 271 00:11:33,894 --> 00:11:37,697 WELL, I DON'T L-L-LIKE IT! 272 00:11:39,833 --> 00:11:40,367 LIEUTENANT! 273 00:11:40,400 --> 00:11:41,168 YES, SIR! 274 00:11:41,201 --> 00:11:44,037 THIS PLANET HAS CROSSED THE LINE. 275 00:11:44,071 --> 00:11:46,273 ASSEMBLE THE GIANT ROBOT. 276 00:11:49,843 --> 00:11:51,678 WE DIDN'T PACK IT. 277 00:11:51,711 --> 00:11:53,146 WE DIDN'T? WHY NOT? 278 00:11:53,180 --> 00:11:55,849 I WANTED TO, BUT YOU NEEDED ROOM FOR YOUR EXERCISE BIKE, 279 00:11:55,883 --> 00:11:58,886 WHICH, I MIGHT ADD, YOU NEVER USE. 280 00:12:04,457 --> 00:12:07,560 THE STRENGTH OF THE REFRACTED LIGHT... 281 00:12:07,594 --> 00:12:09,396 VARIES... 282 00:12:11,531 --> 00:12:12,833 IN ACCORDANCE WITH ITS VELOCITY, 283 00:12:12,866 --> 00:12:14,367 AS MEASURED IN LIGHT YEARS-- 284 00:12:14,401 --> 00:12:15,635 UH, DR. SOLOMON... 285 00:12:15,668 --> 00:12:16,904 WHAT IS IT, LEON? 286 00:12:16,937 --> 00:12:18,471 WHY ARE YOU WRITING LIKE THAT? 287 00:12:18,505 --> 00:12:20,573 BECAUSE WE LIVE IN A WORLD WHERE AS SOON AS YOU TURN AROUND 288 00:12:20,607 --> 00:12:22,175 SOMEONE'S WAITING TO STAB YOU IN THE BACK 289 00:12:22,209 --> 00:12:23,911 AND STEAL YOUR WALLET. 290 00:12:23,944 --> 00:12:26,579 YOU HAVE TO HAVE MORE FAITH IN PEOPLE. 291 00:12:26,613 --> 00:12:30,317 I THINK THAT, DEEP DOWN, THERE'S A BASIC DECENCY. 292 00:12:30,350 --> 00:12:32,786 BLAH. BLAH. BLAH. BLAH. 293 00:12:34,054 --> 00:12:37,124 YOUR CHIRPY OPTIMISM HAS NO PLACE IN REALITY. 294 00:12:37,157 --> 00:12:37,925 GUESS WHAT. 295 00:12:37,958 --> 00:12:39,592 SANTA CLAUS IS DEAD! 296 00:12:39,626 --> 00:12:42,930 BEATEN SENSELESS FOR HIS SHINY BLACK BOOTS. 297 00:12:42,963 --> 00:12:44,865 AND HIS REINDEER DON'T GIVE A DAMN! 298 00:12:44,898 --> 00:12:47,167 [BELL RINGS] 299 00:12:51,371 --> 00:12:53,306 YOU KNOW, DR. SOLOMON, 300 00:12:53,340 --> 00:12:55,675 YOU SEEM TO BE CARRYING AROUND SO MUCH BAGGAGE. 301 00:12:55,708 --> 00:12:56,844 YOU'RE NOT GETTING ANY OF IT, 302 00:12:56,877 --> 00:12:59,646 SO GET AWAY FROM ME! 303 00:13:04,784 --> 00:13:05,953 LET'S GET THIS STRAIGHT. 304 00:13:05,986 --> 00:13:09,489 I DON'T CARE HOW MUCH IT COSTS OR HOW DIFFICULT IT IS. 305 00:13:09,522 --> 00:13:11,558 I WANT A SECURITY SYSTEM THAT WILL GUARANTEE 306 00:13:11,591 --> 00:13:13,560 THAT OUR LIVES WILL BE FILLED 307 00:13:13,593 --> 00:13:16,229 WITH ABSOLUTE SAFETY AND CONTENTMENT. 308 00:13:16,263 --> 00:13:18,999 THAT WOULD BE THE ELECTROFORT 2000. 309 00:13:19,032 --> 00:13:22,535 THE ALARM CONNECTS DIRECTLY TO OUR COMMAND CENTER DOWNTOWN, 310 00:13:22,569 --> 00:13:24,537 WHERE WE IMMEDIATELY DISPATCH 311 00:13:24,571 --> 00:13:26,539 TRAINED PATROLMEN TO YOUR DOOR. 312 00:13:26,573 --> 00:13:28,375 I JUST HAVE ONE QUESTION. 313 00:13:28,408 --> 00:13:29,076 SURE. 314 00:13:29,109 --> 00:13:30,377 WHERE DO I BURY MY FAMILY 315 00:13:30,410 --> 00:13:32,579 AFTER THE BURGLARS HAVE PUMPED BULLETS INTO THEIR SKULLS 316 00:13:32,612 --> 00:13:37,050 WHILE YOUR GUYS ARE STROLLING OVER? 317 00:13:37,084 --> 00:13:39,419 THAT ALMOST NEVER HAPPENS. 318 00:13:40,820 --> 00:13:42,122 TOMMY SHOULD BE HERE. 319 00:13:42,155 --> 00:13:44,257 HE'S IN THE DRIVEWAY, PLAYING ONE-ON-ONE. 320 00:13:44,291 --> 00:13:47,995 TOMMY, I'M SORRY. I DIDN'T KNOW I'D BE THAT GOOD. 321 00:13:48,028 --> 00:13:50,397 I'VE NEVER PLAYED BEFORE. 322 00:13:51,398 --> 00:13:53,033 YOUR COMPANY'S OBVIOUSLY RUN BY AMATEURS. 323 00:13:53,066 --> 00:13:54,902 THIS IS TOTALLY UNSATISFACTORY. 324 00:13:54,935 --> 00:13:57,104 ALLOW ME TO SHOW YOU A FEW SCHEMATICS 325 00:13:57,137 --> 00:13:59,639 THAT, UH, I DREW UP. 326 00:13:59,672 --> 00:14:02,775 NOW...THE GIANT SWINGING BLADE 327 00:14:02,809 --> 00:14:05,012 WOULD FALL FROM HERE... 328 00:14:05,045 --> 00:14:09,149 STEEL SPIKES PLUNGE INTO THE BURGLAR'S EYES HERE... 329 00:14:09,182 --> 00:14:11,451 AND THE CONVEYER BELT DROPS THE CARCASS 330 00:14:11,484 --> 00:14:15,322 INTO THE TANK OF GREAT WHITE SHARKS HERE... 331 00:14:15,355 --> 00:14:16,556 HERE... 332 00:14:16,589 --> 00:14:19,392 AND HERE. 333 00:14:21,294 --> 00:14:23,463 IT'LL WORK. 334 00:14:24,497 --> 00:14:27,500 NOW, THAT'S A PLAN. 335 00:14:29,036 --> 00:14:30,971 NOW, LET'S GO, GIRLS! 336 00:14:31,004 --> 00:14:32,239 COACH? WHAT? 337 00:14:32,272 --> 00:14:34,074 WE'RE UP 40 POINTS WITH 2 MINUTES TO GO. 338 00:14:34,107 --> 00:14:36,576 PUT ME IN. I WON'T TOUCH ANYTHING. 339 00:14:36,609 --> 00:14:40,047 I'LL JUST STAND THERE. 340 00:14:40,080 --> 00:14:40,747 NO! 341 00:14:40,780 --> 00:14:42,950 COME ON, COACH! 342 00:14:42,983 --> 00:14:45,585 My girlfriend's watching. 343 00:14:46,819 --> 00:14:48,455 THIS ISN'T JUST MY CHANCE. 344 00:14:48,488 --> 00:14:50,323 THIS IS YOUR CHANCE TO BE REMEMBERED 345 00:14:50,357 --> 00:14:51,959 AS THE BELOVED COACH STRICKLAND 346 00:14:51,992 --> 00:14:54,861 AND NOT AS COACH SUCKLAND. 347 00:14:55,695 --> 00:14:56,863 THAT WASN'T MINE. 348 00:14:56,896 --> 00:14:57,965 [BLOWS WHISTLE] 349 00:14:57,998 --> 00:14:59,332 O.K., SOLOMON, ENOUGH. 350 00:14:59,366 --> 00:15:01,034 I'LL PUT YOU IN. JUST SHUT UP. 351 00:15:01,068 --> 00:15:02,269 THANKS, COACH. 352 00:15:02,302 --> 00:15:03,503 KNOW WHAT PLAYER HANSEN IS? 353 00:15:03,536 --> 00:15:05,205 THE GUY WHOSE NECK'S THICKER THAN MY WAIST? 354 00:15:05,238 --> 00:15:06,406 THAT'S HIM. 355 00:15:06,439 --> 00:15:10,177 STOP HIM FROM DRIVING THE LANE. 356 00:15:10,210 --> 00:15:11,111 GOOD JOB. 357 00:15:11,144 --> 00:15:12,812 [BLOWS WHISTLE] 358 00:15:14,647 --> 00:15:15,715 [THUD] 359 00:15:15,748 --> 00:15:18,151 [BYSTANDERS] OH! 360 00:15:21,488 --> 00:15:23,023 GOOD MORNING. 361 00:15:23,056 --> 00:15:24,057 HOW ARE YOU FEELING? 362 00:15:24,091 --> 00:15:25,692 WIRED, THANK YOU. 363 00:15:25,725 --> 00:15:27,894 MY ENTIRE HOUSE IS WIRED FOR SECURITY. 364 00:15:27,927 --> 00:15:30,063 AND I'M GETTING A CAR ALARM. 365 00:15:30,097 --> 00:15:31,864 OH, GOOD. 366 00:15:31,898 --> 00:15:33,266 NOW ALL YOU NEED IS AN ARMED GUARD 367 00:15:33,300 --> 00:15:36,169 TO WALK YOU FROM THE HOUSE TO THE CAR. 368 00:15:36,203 --> 00:15:38,105 WHAT A GOOD IDEA. 369 00:15:38,138 --> 00:15:41,208 A BIG, SCARY ONE. I COULD HIRE A CRIMINAL. 370 00:15:41,241 --> 00:15:42,609 THEY'RE TAKING MY MONEY ANYWAY. 371 00:15:42,642 --> 00:15:45,178 WHY NOT GIVE IT TO THEM HOURLY? 372 00:15:45,212 --> 00:15:48,281 ALL RIGHT. STOP. NOW YOU ARE A VICTIM. 373 00:15:48,315 --> 00:15:50,650 YOU HAVE LOST ALL TRUST IN HUMANITY. 374 00:15:50,683 --> 00:15:52,919 DO YOU ACTUALLY BELIEVE THAT YOU CAN TRUST PEOPLE? 375 00:15:52,952 --> 00:15:54,187 YES, I DO. 376 00:15:54,221 --> 00:15:55,655 REALLY? 377 00:15:59,192 --> 00:16:01,294 DO YOU TRUST ME? 378 00:16:02,695 --> 00:16:03,630 OF COURSE I DO. 379 00:16:03,663 --> 00:16:06,833 AND WHY NOT? YOU WORK WITH ME. 380 00:16:06,866 --> 00:16:09,202 YOU KNOW THAT I CARE ABOUT YOU. 381 00:16:09,236 --> 00:16:10,103 IF YOU CAN'T TRUST ME, 382 00:16:10,137 --> 00:16:13,040 YOU CAN'T TRUST ANYONE. 383 00:16:14,374 --> 00:16:15,942 DO YOU TRUST ME? HUH? HUH? 384 00:16:15,975 --> 00:16:18,045 DR. SOL-- 385 00:16:19,779 --> 00:16:21,014 THE... 386 00:16:21,048 --> 00:16:22,782 POLICE CALLED. THEY HAVE YOUR MUGGER. 387 00:16:22,815 --> 00:16:23,450 THEY WHAT? 388 00:16:23,483 --> 00:16:25,218 THEY HAVE YOUR MUGGER. 389 00:16:25,252 --> 00:16:28,755 YOU HAVE TO GO AND IDENTIFY HIM. 390 00:16:28,788 --> 00:16:30,057 YOU'VE GOT TO CONFRONT HIM. 391 00:16:30,090 --> 00:16:32,725 N-N-N-NO, NO. 392 00:16:32,759 --> 00:16:35,462 IT'S THE ONLY WAY TO REASSERT CONTROL OVER YOUR LIFE. 393 00:16:35,495 --> 00:16:37,397 YOU'LL FEEL BETTER, BELIEVE ME. 394 00:16:37,430 --> 00:16:39,666 WELL...WILL YOU GO WITH ME? 395 00:16:39,699 --> 00:16:41,534 YES... 396 00:16:41,568 --> 00:16:44,504 BUT FIRST, THERE'S ONE THING I REALLY HAVE TO DO. 397 00:16:55,315 --> 00:16:56,449 O.K... 398 00:16:56,483 --> 00:16:58,485 LET'S GO. 399 00:17:00,420 --> 00:17:02,922 I'LL GET THE CAR. 400 00:17:10,097 --> 00:17:11,831 YOU KNOW, I'M REAL PROUD OF YOU. 401 00:17:11,864 --> 00:17:15,968 FOR THE WAY I SLIPPED IN AND OUT OF CONSCIOUSNESS? 402 00:17:16,002 --> 00:17:19,372 NO. FOR THE WAY YOU WERE UNASHAMED 403 00:17:19,406 --> 00:17:21,374 TO SHOW HOW NONATHLETIC YOU ARE. 404 00:17:24,777 --> 00:17:28,348 I'VE BEEN TRYING TO DO EVERYTHING YOU THINK I SHOULD. 405 00:17:28,381 --> 00:17:29,549 BUT IT'S NOT WORKING. 406 00:17:29,582 --> 00:17:31,818 AND I'M SORRY IF THIS REDEFINES THE PARAMETERS 407 00:17:31,851 --> 00:17:34,154 OF OUR RELATIONSHIP. 408 00:17:34,187 --> 00:17:35,288 BUT YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO ACCEPT ME 409 00:17:35,322 --> 00:17:37,357 FOR WHO I AM, REGARDLESS IF I'M SHORT 410 00:17:37,390 --> 00:17:40,327 OR LOUSY AT BASKETBALL OR WHATEVER! 411 00:17:47,167 --> 00:17:50,770 I KIND OF LIKE IT WHEN YOU'RE ASSERTIVE LIKE THIS. 412 00:17:50,803 --> 00:17:51,838 YOU DO? 413 00:17:51,871 --> 00:17:53,506 BUT NOT ALL THE TIME. 414 00:17:53,540 --> 00:17:57,310 WELL, HOW OFTEN SHOULD I BE ASSERTIVE? 415 00:17:57,344 --> 00:17:58,778 IF I TOLD YOU THAT-- 416 00:17:58,811 --> 00:17:59,746 RIGHT, RIGHT. 417 00:17:59,779 --> 00:18:01,914 I'LL FIGURE IT OUT. 418 00:18:01,948 --> 00:18:03,049 IS NOW A GOOD TIME? 419 00:18:03,082 --> 00:18:04,451 SURE. 420 00:18:06,286 --> 00:18:07,620 COME ON. 421 00:18:07,654 --> 00:18:09,622 O.K. 422 00:18:12,925 --> 00:18:15,828 O.K., MR. SOLOMON, TIME TO FINGER YOUR PERP. 423 00:18:15,862 --> 00:18:16,596 BELIEVE ME, I'VE TRIED, 424 00:18:16,629 --> 00:18:17,630 BUT SHE JUST WON'T LET ME. 425 00:18:23,870 --> 00:18:30,210 NO. WE NEED YOU TO I.D. YOUR ASSAILANT. 426 00:18:30,243 --> 00:18:32,545 I DIDN'T REALLY GET A GOOD LOOK AT HIM. 427 00:18:32,579 --> 00:18:36,249 IT WAS DARK AND... IT HAPPENED SO QUICK. 428 00:18:36,283 --> 00:18:37,284 YOU! 429 00:18:37,317 --> 00:18:39,152 VOILÄ! 430 00:18:40,687 --> 00:18:42,789 YOU OWE ME $400! 431 00:18:42,822 --> 00:18:44,657 YOU--YAH! 432 00:18:44,691 --> 00:18:45,692 THAT'S A POSITIVE I.D. 433 00:18:45,725 --> 00:18:48,027 TAKE HIS CUFFS OFF! TAKE 'EM OFF! 434 00:18:48,060 --> 00:18:49,662 I WANT A FAIR FIGHT! 435 00:18:49,696 --> 00:18:51,698 RUSTY! 436 00:18:55,202 --> 00:18:56,102 OH... 437 00:18:56,135 --> 00:18:57,604 AND BY THE WAY, MUGGER BOY, 438 00:18:57,637 --> 00:18:59,872 YOUR SKIN'S NOT NEARLY AS CREAMY 439 00:18:59,906 --> 00:19:02,842 AS YOU'D LIKE PEOPLE TO THINK! 440 00:19:04,076 --> 00:19:05,111 DR. ALBRIGHT... 441 00:19:05,144 --> 00:19:07,013 THANK YOU. YOU WERE RIGHT. 442 00:19:07,046 --> 00:19:08,515 ALL I HAD TO DO WAS CONFRONT HIM. 443 00:19:08,548 --> 00:19:10,950 AND BEAT HIM SENSELESS? 444 00:19:10,983 --> 00:19:13,119 OH, NO, NO, NO. THAT WAS PURE GRAVY. 445 00:19:13,152 --> 00:19:14,954 OH. 446 00:19:14,987 --> 00:19:17,924 YOU KNOW, WE NEVER HAD THAT DINNER. 447 00:19:17,957 --> 00:19:18,958 CARE TO JOIN ME? 448 00:19:18,991 --> 00:19:21,928 HMM, NO. NOT TONIGHT. 449 00:19:21,961 --> 00:19:23,095 I'M GOING TO DO SOMETHING 450 00:19:23,129 --> 00:19:26,333 THAT I HAVEN'T DONE FOR QUITE A WHILE... 451 00:19:26,366 --> 00:19:27,767 SLEEP. 452 00:19:27,800 --> 00:19:31,938 OF COURSE, YOU'RE WELCOME TO JOIN ME IF YOU LIKE. 453 00:19:31,971 --> 00:19:32,939 I'LL PASS. 454 00:19:32,972 --> 00:19:35,275 HMM. 455 00:19:35,308 --> 00:19:37,777 JUST BEING POLITE. 456 00:19:39,246 --> 00:19:40,980 SO, DON... 457 00:19:41,013 --> 00:19:43,015 WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO TORTURE HIM? 458 00:19:43,049 --> 00:19:45,285 NO. HE STILL HAS TO GO TO TRIAL. 459 00:19:45,318 --> 00:19:47,654 YOU'LL TORTURE HIM AT THE TRIAL? 460 00:19:47,687 --> 00:19:49,088 WE DON'T WORK THAT WAY. 461 00:19:49,121 --> 00:19:50,623 EVERYONE HAS EQUAL RIGHTS. 462 00:19:50,657 --> 00:19:51,524 THAT'S THE LAW. 463 00:19:53,560 --> 00:19:55,127 OH, DON... 464 00:19:56,263 --> 00:19:59,165 I THOUGHT I KNEW YOU... 465 00:19:59,198 --> 00:20:02,101 BUT WE COME FROM DIFFERENT WORLDS. 466 00:20:02,134 --> 00:20:03,236 NO, WE DON'T. 467 00:20:03,270 --> 00:20:06,138 YOU COME FROM A PLACE FILLED WITH LAWS AND RIGHTS 468 00:20:06,172 --> 00:20:08,641 AND FAIR TRIALS. 469 00:20:08,675 --> 00:20:12,545 I COME FROM A PLACE WHERE THE WIND BLOWS COLD 470 00:20:12,579 --> 00:20:14,146 AND THE ONLY THING YOU CAN COUNT ON 471 00:20:14,180 --> 00:20:18,050 IS THAT YOU CAN'T COUNT ON ANYTHING. 472 00:20:18,084 --> 00:20:20,620 YOU'RE FROM CHICAGO? 473 00:20:22,154 --> 00:20:24,190 GOODBYE, DON. 474 00:20:24,991 --> 00:20:26,993 IT'S TOO BAD. 475 00:20:27,026 --> 00:20:28,961 WE COULD HAVE BEEN GREAT. 476 00:20:28,995 --> 00:20:29,696 UGH. 477 00:20:29,729 --> 00:20:32,399 SALLY, YOU'VE GOT ME ALL WRONG. 478 00:20:32,432 --> 00:20:35,802 THEY BROUGHT ME UP ON BRUTALITY CHARGES. 479 00:20:35,835 --> 00:20:38,871 THERE'S A VIDEO! 480 00:20:41,140 --> 00:20:44,444 WE SHOULD TRANSFER $500 FROM OUR MONEY MARKET ACCOUNT 481 00:20:44,477 --> 00:20:46,112 TO OUR CHECKING ACCOUNT. 482 00:20:46,145 --> 00:20:47,780 WE DON'T HAVE A MONEY MARKET ACCOUNT. 483 00:20:47,814 --> 00:20:49,148 SHH. 484 00:20:49,181 --> 00:20:52,619 IT DOESN'T KNOW THAT. 485 00:20:52,652 --> 00:20:54,987 I'M PROUD OF US FOR COMING HERE TONIGHT. 486 00:20:55,021 --> 00:20:57,390 DR. ALBRIGHT SAID A VERY WISE THING. 487 00:20:57,424 --> 00:21:00,593 SHE SAID, "IF YOU LET FEAR DRIVE YOU INTO HIDING, 488 00:21:00,627 --> 00:21:04,163 THEN THE CRIMINALS HAVE WON." 489 00:21:06,198 --> 00:21:08,835 DICK, THERE'S SOMEONE BEHIND US. 490 00:21:08,868 --> 00:21:11,771 WHAT DO THEY LOOK LIKE? 491 00:21:11,804 --> 00:21:13,540 75, FEMALE, VERY FRAIL. 492 00:21:13,573 --> 00:21:15,074 WHAT DO WE DO LIEUTENANT? 493 00:21:15,107 --> 00:21:16,409 KNOCK HER DOWN AND RUN FOR THE CAR, 494 00:21:16,443 --> 00:21:17,344 WHAT ABOUT THE MONEY? 495 00:21:17,377 --> 00:21:18,511 WE DON'T HAVE TIME. GO! 496 00:21:18,545 --> 00:21:20,547 AHHH! AHHH! AHHH! AHHH! 33063

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