Original subtitles

THIS ONE'S KIND OF NICE.

MM-HMM.

THIS ONE?

MM-HMM.

WALKER, PLEASE HELP ME.

THEY ALL LOOK GOOD, ALEX.

HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT?

I MEAN, SOME ARE TOO BRIGHT,

SOME ARE TOO YELLOW,

SOME ARE TOO PALE,

AND SOME OF THEM ARE JUST PLAIN YUCK.

WALKER, WE HAVE TO PICK THE COLOR FOR THE BABY'S ROOM,

OTHERWISE, I CAN'T DO ANY OTHER DECORATING.

WELL, LET'S WAIT TILL MORNING

WHEN THE LIGHT'S BETTER.

NO, NO, NO. NO.

AMBER MIST OR SPRING DAWN?

THEY LOOK THE SAME TO ME.

WALKER.

LOOK, IT'S LATE.

LET'S SLEEP ON IT.

MAYBE IT'S NOT YELLOW.

I THOUGHT YELLOW WOULD BE THE PERFECT COLOR

FOR A LITTLE BOY OR A LITTLE GIRL'S ROOM,

BUT WHAT IF IT MAKES THEM LOOK JAUNDICED?

ALEX, ALL I KNOW IS THAT YOU'RE GONNA MAKE

THE GREATEST MOTHER IN THE WORLD.

GOOD NIGHT.

[SIGHS]

MAYBE IT'S NOT PAINT.

MAYBE IT'S WALLPAPER.

PHEW, IT'S GONNA BE A LONG NIGHT.

OH, COME ON.

[SIGH]

THE GUARDS MADE THEIR FINAL ROUNDS AT 10:00,

LOCKED UP, AND ACTIVATED THE SECURITY SYSTEM.

WHAT KIND OF SYSTEM?

BEST THERE IS, OPTICAL LASER.

COVERS EVERY SQUARE INCH OF THE FLOOR.

WAS IT WORKING PROPERLY?

WAS LIKE NEW.

AT 7:00 THIS MORNING THEY OPENED UP, AND BINGO.

NOW THIS IS THE THIRD BIG-TICKET HEIST IN A MONTH, WALKER.

FIRST IT WAS JEWELRY, THEN RARE STAMPS, NOW THIS.

AND I'LL TELL YOU, THE CHIEF IS BUSTING MY CHOPS ON THIS ONE.

WELL, WHOEVER PULLED THIS OFF

IS A REAL MAGICIAN, I CAN TELL YOU,

'CAUSE I DON'T SEE HOW IT COULD BE DONE.

WELL, IT WAS,

SO THERE HAD TO BE A WAY.

WHAT IS IT?

WELL, THEY NEVER TRIGGERED THE ALARM

BECAUSE THEY NEVER TOUCHED THE FLOOR.

[TRUMPETS BLARING]

[CROWD CHEERS]

[THEME SONG PLAYING]

♪ IN THE EYES OF A RANGER ♪

♪ THE UNSUSPECTIN' STRANGER ♪

♪ HAD BETTER KNOW THE TRUTH OF WRONG FROM RIGHT ♪

♪ 'CAUSE THE EYES OF THE RANGER ♪

♪ ARE UPON YOU ♪

♪ ANY WRONG YOU DO HE'S GONNA SEE ♪

♪ WHEN YOU'RE IN TEXAS, LOOK BEHIND YOU ♪

♪ 'CAUSE THAT'S WHERE THE RANGER'S GONNA BE ♪

Gage: COME ON, IT'S NOT EVEN ON THE MAP.

IT HAS TO BE.

IT'S RIGHT HERE. UH-HUH.

BUELL. OH, YEAH. THERE YOU GO,

RIGHT THERE IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE.

WELL, ONE OF US HAS TO GO THERE,

PICK UP THE PRISONER,

AND BRING HIM BACK TO TESTIFY.

MM-MMM. NOW, WEREN'T YOU SAYING

YOU WANTED TO GET OUT OF DALLAS FOR A WHILE?

ME? NO, NO, NO WAY.

I'M ALWAYS STUCK WITH PRISONER TRANSPORT.

I'VE DONE MY SHARE.

OH. WELL, WE'LL JUST HAVE TO FLIP.

HERE.

ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.

I GOT ONE.

ALL RIGHT. ODD MAN OUT, NO MORE WHINING. GO.

HEADS.

TAILS.

HA HA HA. HEADS.

HA.

HEE HEE HEE.

BEST 2 OUT OF 3.

DO YOU HEAR WHINING SOMEWHERE?

I THINK SO.

PACK A LUNCH. [LAUGHS]

HERE'S YOUR QUARTER.

HAVE A HAPPY DAY.

WHAT WAS THAT ALL ABOUT?

HE'S SUCH A SORE LOSER.

HE'S GOTTA GO ALL THE WAY OUT TO BUELL

TO PICK UP THAT PRISONER, MORRIS DOBBS.

HA HA HA.

ANYTHING ON THE MUSEUM?

YEAH. ACTUALLY, YOU KNOW WHAT?

YOU WERE RIGHT ABOUT THEM COMING IN THROUGH THE CEILING.

THE LAB FOUND FRESH MARKS UP IN THE RAFTERS

MADE BY VICE CLAMPS.

BURGLARS MUST'VE RIGGED SOME KIND OF PULLEY SYSTEM

TO LOWER THEMSELVES DOWN INTO THE GALLERY.

THEY DID THE ENTIRE THING FROM MID-AIR.

SO WE'RE LOOKING FOR 3, MAYBE 4 PEOPLE

WHO ARE HIGHLY SKILLED ATHLETES,

MAYBE MOUNTAIN CLIMBERS.

COULD BE EX-MILITARY.

YOU KNOW WHAT, I'LL RUN A CHECK ON CONVICTED BURGLARS,

SEE IF ANY OF THEM HAVE THAT KIND OF TRAINING.

YOU KNOW, THERE'S ONLY A COUPLE OF FENCES IN DALLAS

THAT COULD HANDLE THAT KIND OF HIGH-END MERCHANDISE.

YEAH, YOU'RE RIGHT,

AND I THINK I KNOW JUST THE GUY TO START WITH.

[FOREIGN ACCENT] HE IS THE MOST EXCITING NEW ARTIST

ON THE SCENE TODAY,

AND WE ARE THE ONLY GALLERY IN AMERICA TO REPRESENT HIM.

HOW MUCH?

PSSSSH.

85,000.

AND I HAVE IT ON GOOD AUTHORITY

HE IS PICASSO'S ILLEGITIMATE SON.

REALLY?

UH-HUH.

EXCUSE ME, FOLKS.

I NEED TO TALK TO SERGE FOR A MOMENT.

ONE MOMENT.

[NO ACCENT] THIS ISN'T A GOOD TIME, WALKER.

THAT'S REALLY FUNNY,

BECAUSE THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT YOU SAID TO ME

WHEN I BUSTED YOU FOR FENCING

THAT STOLEN JEWELRY.

ANCIENT HISTORY. I'M 100% LEGIT NOW.

YEAH, RIGHT.

WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THE HEIST

OF THE PALMER MUSEUM?

NOTHING.

NOTHING? YOU'VE HEARD NOTHING?

IT'S TRUE, I SWEAR.

YOU CAN DO BETTER THAN THAT, SERGE.

COME ON, WALKER. I GOT A BIG FISH ON THE LINE OVER HERE.

YEAH. AND THEY LOOK LIKE HONEST FOLK TO ME, SERGE.

MAYBE I'LL GO TELL THEM WHAT A CON MAN YOU ARE.

WAIT, MAYBE I GOT SOMETHING FOR YOU.

YOU EVER HEAR OF FLOYD JESSUP?

YEAH, THE CAT BURGLAR.

HE RIPPED OFF SOME RICH PEOPLE IN HOUSTON.

WHAT ABOUT HIM?

GOT OUT OF HUNTSVILLE LAST MONTH.

WORD IS, HE'S SETTING UP SHOP IN DALLAS.

HMM.

OK, SERGE, GO REEL IN YOUR FISH.

[SIGHS]

HEY, MAN. YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO GO EASY.

IT'S JUST PRACTICE.

TAKES ALL THE FUN OUT OF IT.

YEAH, WELL, I'VE HAD IT.

[TELEPHONE RINGING]

GUYS, THAT'S IT FOR TODAY. LET'S GO!

HAWKINS.

EXCELLENT.

WHAT'S THE WORD?

WE JUST GOT 200 GRAND FOR THE PAINTINGS.

SWEET.

NEXT JOB'S WORTH TWICE THAT.

I GOTTA GO. ALL RIGHT.

WHEW.

CAN I HELP YOU?

WHAT HAPPENED HERE?

WELL, IT WAS THE DARNDEST THING.

SEMI LOST ITS BRAKES AND ALMOST LANDED RIGHT ON MY DESK.

YOU'RE KIDDING. NOPE.

YOUR ARM, HUH?

OH, NO.

SLIPPED IN THE SHOWER THIS MORNING.

I TOLD HIM. I SAID,

"SOME DAYS, IT JUST DON'T PAY TO GET OUT OF BED."

I'M RANGER TRIVETTE,

HERE WITH A WARRANT

TO TAKE MORRIS DOBBS INTO CUSTODY.

OH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.

HEY, AL!

GO GET THE PRISONER, WILL YOU?

MUST BE REAL IMPORTANT

TO BRING YOU ALL THE WAY OUT HERE.

YEAH, WE GOT HIM TESTIFYING IN A MURDER TRIAL IN DALLAS.

OH. DOBBS WON'T GIVE YOU ANY TROUBLE.

HE'S NOT REALLY A JINX.

[CAR SKIDS]

[CRASH]

[CAR ALARM WAILING]

LET'S GO.

THERE YOU ARE.

THANK YOU.

HEY, YOU GUYS BE CAREFUL.

[DIALING BEEPS]

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

RANGER COOK.

SYDNEY, GET GAGE AND TRACK DOWN

A GUY NAMED NAMED FLOYD JESSUP.

SEE IF HE KNOWS ANYTHING ABOUT THE BURGLARIES.

ALL RIGHT, WE'RE ON IT.

AW, YOU SHOULD LET ME GO.

WHY SHOULD I DO THAT?

WELL, BECAUSE IF YOU DON'T,

SOMETHING VERY BAD WILL HAPPEN TO YOU.

ARE YOU THREATENING ME?

NO, NO, NO, NO. IT'S NO THREAT, IT'S JUST FACT.

I'M A JINX.

WHAT?!

I'M A JINX TO ANYONE AROUND ME.

I ALWAYS HAVE BEEN.

IT'S MY CROSS TO BEAR.

YOU'RE A JINX.

YES.

BUDDY...HA HA HA.

THAT'S THE FIRST TIME I'VE HEARD THAT ONE.

HEY, I'M NOT JOKING.

WHOEVER I AM WITH GETS HURT.

DOBBS. LOOK, LOOK--

DOBBS. THAT POLICE STATION BACK THERE.

I'M TAKING YOU IN.

WELL, I WISH YOU'D RECONSIDER.

YOU'RE TESTIFYING AT THE TRIAL, ALL RIGHT?

I DON'T THINK I'VE-- SAVE YOUR BREATH!

ALL RIGHT, SUIT YOURSELF.

[ENGINE CHOKES AND SPUTTERS]

UH-OH, HERE WE GO.

WHAT THE--

OH.

[HISSING]

AW, MAN.

YEAH, I TOLD HIM.

THEY JUST NEVER LISTEN.

TRUST ME, FELLAS.

THAT YELLOW DIAMOND'S OVER 3 KARATS.

IT'S WORTH 60 GRAND, EASY.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

WHO'S THAT?

BE COOL.

YOU FLOYD JESSUP?

WHO WANTS TO KNOW?

I'M A TEXAS RANGER.

RANGERS!

ALL RIGHT, GET UP.

I WARNED YOU.

MY CAR BROKE DOWN.

IT HAPPENS.

YEAH, WHATEVER.

THEY'RE GONNA FIX MY CAR TOMORROW,

THEN WE'LL BE OUT OF HERE.

BUT-- AH!

Y'ALL READY TO ORDER NOW?

YES, WE ARE, MA'AM.

LET ME HAVE THE SWORDFISH,

THE STEAMED BROCCOLI,

AND A BAKED POTATO, PLEASE. THANK YOU.

YOU'RE GOING WITH THE SWORDFISH?

I LIKE SWORDFISH.

YEAH, BUT DO YOU REALIZE

HOW FAR THEY HAVE TO SHIP IT?

IT--

IT COULD BE SPOILED.

I WANT YOU TO MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS.

OK.

FREEZE!

THIS IS OFFICER BLANCHARD.

I GOT A SUSPECT DOWN IN THE ALLEY

BEHIND THE SUN MUTUAL BUILDING.

SEND BACKUP.

Dispatcher: ROGER THAT.

UHH.

[POLICE SIRENS]

WE GOTTA GET POLLARD OUTTA HERE.

NO TIME. COME ON.

WHAT'VE YOU GOT, ED?

LOOKS LIKE THE SAME GROUP

THAT PULLED THE BURGLARIES, WALKER.

ONLY THIS TIME, THEY SHOT A COP.

HOW BAD IS HE?

HE'LL MAKE IT.

THAT'S MORE THAN I CAN SAY FOR THIS GUY.

ANY I.D. ON HIM?

NOTHIN'.

THE WAY I FIGURE IT, THEY LOOTED THE COIN SHOP.

HE CAME OUT FIRST. OFFICER BLANCHARD SPOTTED HIM,

TOOK HIM DOWN, AND THEN GOT SHOT BY THE OTHERS

ON THE WAY OUT.

CALL RANGER HEADQUARTERS

SOON AS YOU I.D. HIM, OK?

YOU GOT IT.

[VOMITING]

[TV GAME SHOW PLAYING]

[TOILET FLUSHES] [KNOCK ON DOOR]

TURN THAT OFF.

[TV TURNS OFF]

WHO IS IT?

DR. ORTIZ.

SO, UH, HOW LONG YOU BEEN SICK?

DUH.

A COUPLE OF HOURS.

OH, NOW, LET'S HAVE A LOOK AT YOU.

LET'S SEE HERE.

OH, UH-HUH. UH-HUH.

LET ME SEE YOUR TONGUE. AHH.

OHH.

THAT'S GOOD. THAT'S GOOD.

WHEN'S THE LAST TIME YOU ATE?

HAD DINNER OVER AT THAT PLACE IN TOWN.

OH, AND WHAT DID YOU HAVE?

SWORDFISH.

FISH?!

I NEVER EAT FISH HERE.

YOU KNOW HOW LONG IT TAKES TO SHIP HERE?

[VOMITING]

OK, THEY'VE IDENTIFIED THE BURGLAR WHO WAS KILLED.

HIS NAME IS CURTIS POLLARD.

APPARENTLY WORKS AT A PLACE CALLED MEDIEVAL TIMES.

MEDIEVAL TIMES?

MM-HMM.

I THINK I'LL GO TALK TO 'EM.

CALL AND TELL 'EM I'M COMING.

OK.

ONE OF OUR EMPLOYEES WAS INVOLVED IN A SERIES OF ROBBERIES?

THAT'S RIGHT.

HE WAS KILLED LAST NIGHT.

ARE YOU SURE HE WORKED FOR US?

DO YOU RECOGNIZE THIS MAN?

[SIGHS] HE'S ONE OF OUR KNIGHTS.

I OPERATE SEVERAL CASTLES

AROUND THE COUNTRY, RANGER WALKER.

THOUSANDS OF EMPLOYEES.

WE DO EVERYTHING POSSIBLE TO HIRE THE BEST PEOPLE.

I--I--

WELL, WE'RE NOT BLAMING YOU, MR. SANDS,

BUT POLLARD HAD ACCOMPLICES.

WE'RE TRYING TO FIND OUT WHO THEY ARE.

YOU THINK OTHERS HERE ARE INVOLVED?

WE'RE NOT SURE,

BUT I NEED A LIST OF ALL YOUR KNIGHTS.

OF COURSE.

IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE I CAN DO FOR YOU?

MAYBE THERE IS.

WALKER, LISTEN TO THIS.

MEDIEVAL TIMES HAS BRANCHES IN 7 OTHER CITIES.

SO I RAN A COMPUTER CHECK IN EACH OF THEM

TO SEE IF THERE WERE ANY UNSOLVED ART

OR JEWELRY HEISTS.

AND SURE ENOUGH, BELLS WENT OFF IN 3 OF THEM.

CHICAGO, L.A., AND MYRTLE BEACH.

AND THE PATTERN'S ALWAYS THE SAME.

4 OR 5 ROBBERIES IN A FEW WEEKS,

AND THEN EVERYTHING STOPS COLD.

CAN YOU PLACE POLLARD IN THOSE CITIES AT THAT TIME?

LIKE CLOCKWORK.

THE KNIGHTS ROTATE BETWEEN CASTLES.

THEY WORK A COUPLE OF MONTHS

AND THEN THEY MOVE ON.

NOW, THERE'S 4 OR 5 OTHER EMPLOYEES

ON THE SAME ROTATION AS POLLARD,

SO WE FIGURE AT LEAST A FEW OF THEM

ARE IN ON THE BURGLARIES.

THEY'RE PROBABLY GONNA LAY LOW

AFTER SHOOTING A COP.

MAYBE.

BUT...

WE'RE NOT GONNA WAIT AND SEE.

SO WHAT'S OUR PLAN?

EXCUSE ME.

I'M SURE ALL OF YOU WERE AS SHOCKED AS I WAS

TO HEAR THE NEWS ABOUT CURTIS POLLARD.

HARD TO BELIEVE.

BUT AS WE ALL KNOW, THE SHOW MUST GO ON,

SO WE'RE LUCKY TO HAVE JACK SWAYZE AVAILABLE

TO REPLACE CURTIS.

PLEASE MAKE HIM FEEL AT HOME.

HEY.

HOW ARE YA?

WELCOME, JACK. NICE MEETIN' YOU.

NICE TO MEET YOU. HOW YA DOIN'?

GOOD LUCK.

THANK YOU.

YOU'LL LIKE IT HERE.

THE PEOPLE ARE NICE

AND TIPS ARE PRETTY GOOD.

GOOD.

EVER BEEN A WENCH BEFORE?

A WHAT?

A WENCH.

THAT'S WHAT THEY CALL WAITRESSES HERE.

OH, NO. NO, NO, I HAVEN'T.

DON'T WORRY.

YOU'LL PICK IT UP IN NO TIME.

OK.

SO, BREAD PLATES GOES ON THEIR LEFT.

SOUP BOWL ON THE RIGHT.

OK.

SO, UM...

HOW LONG HAVE YOU WORKED HERE?

ABOUT A YEAR.

I'M TRAINING TO BE A MASSEUSE.

YOU KNOW, THEY'RE IN BIG DEMAND,

'CAUSE SO MANY PEOPLE ARE STRESSED OUT.

OH, YEAH.

HEY, GORGEOUS.

HEY.

THAT'S MY BOYFRIEND.

HE'S A KNIGHT.

OK, I'M STARVING.

WHEN ARE WE GONNA EAT?

JUST SHUT UP.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

OHH.

UNH.

[KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK]

ALL RIGHT, I'M COMIN'.

WHO IS IT?!

CHIEF TUCKER, ALDER SPRINGS POLICE.

RANGER TRIVETTE.

HEY.

MOSS TUCKER.

HEARD YOU WAS AS SICK AS A DOG.

HA HA HA. MUSTA BEEN SOMETHIN' YOU ATE.

MUSTA BEEN.

LISTEN, 'BOUT YOUR CAR.

YOU COULDN'T HAVE BROKEN DOWN IN A BETTER PLACE.

THAT ERNIE IS A HELL OF A MECHANIC,

AND I AIN'T JUST SAYIN' THAT

'CAUSE HE'S MY WIFE'S KID BROTHER NOW.

[LAUGHS]

YOUR BROTHER-IN-LAW'S FIXING MY CAR?

OH, THAT'S THE GOOD NEWS.

SEE, THE BAD NEWS IS

IT'S GONNA COST A TAD MORE THAN ERNIE THOUGHT.

WHAT'S A TAD?

$800.

THAT'S A TAD?

IT ALWAYS PAYS TO DO THINGS RIGHT, NOW.

ANYWAY, YOU HOLLER IF YOU NEED ANYTHING, ALL RIGHT?

ALWAYS GLAD TO HELP A FELLOW OFFICER.

FEEL BETTER NOW.

Y'ALL ENJOY YOUR STAY.

DON'T SAY ANYTHING.

I'LL TALK YOU THROUGH IT AS WE FIGHT.

OK.

IF YOU GET CONFUSED,

WELL, JUST DIE.

ALL RIGHT, THAT'S SIMPLE ENOUGH.

YOU'LL DO FINE.

THANKS, MAN.

I'LL SEE YOU OUT THERE.

THANK YOU.

SO, WHEN'S THE LAST TIME YOU FOUGHT?

COUPLE MONTHS AGO.

YEAH?

WH-WHICH CASTLE WAS THAT?

FLORIDA.

OH, YEAH, YOU KNOW, I HEARD THE MANAGER

RUNS A REAL TIGHT SHIP.

WHAT'S HIS NAME, UM--

CASSIDY. YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT.

ALL RIGHT, I'LL SEE YOU OUT THERE.

ALL RIGHT.

BEHOLD THE COLOR! THE POMP!

AND ALL THE PAGEANTRY THAT IS THE AGE OF CHIVALRY!

[APPLAUSE AND CHEERS]

ALL HAIL HIS MAJESTY, KING ALFONSO!

♪ AH AH AH AH AH AH ♪

♪ AH AH AH AH AH ♪

♪ AH AH AH AH AH YEAH ♪

♪ YOU FOREVER WILL BE KNOWN ♪

♪ AS THE ONE WHO STOOD ALONE ♪

♪ TO FIGHT FOR RIGHT ♪

♪ TO THE VERY DEATH ♪

♪ TO RIDE SO HIGH ABOVE ♪

♪ AND LIVE FOR ONE GREAT LOVE ♪

♪ DO BATTLE TO YOUR VERY LAST BREATH ♪

♪ KEEP FIGHTING FOR THE HONOR AND THE GLORY ♪

♪ NOBODY UNDERSTANDS THE GREATEST GUY'S A FOOL ♪

♪ YOU ARE THE HERO OF THE STORY ♪

♪ RISE UP, IT'S TIME TO TAKE A FALL ♪

♪ AH AH AH AH AH ♪

♪ AH AH AH AH AH YEAH ♪

♪ SO MUCH DIFFERENCE YOU WILL MAKE ♪

♪ AND THE COURAGE IT WILL TAKE ♪

♪ AS YOU MAKE YOUR WAY ALONG THAT BEASTLY TRACK ♪

♪ TO KNOW THAT DANGERS GROW ♪

♪ AND THAT 2 WENT DOWN THAT ROAD ♪

♪ KNOWIN' ONLY ONE IS COMIN' BACK ♪

♪ KEEP FIGHTING FOR THE HONOR AND THE GLORY ♪

♪ NOBODY UNDERSTANDS THE GREATEST GUY'S A FOOL ♪

♪ YOU ARE THE HERO OF THE STORY ♪

♪ RISE UP EACH TIME YOU TAKE A FALL ♪

♪ AH AH AH AH AH ♪

♪ AH AH AH AH AH YEAH ♪

♪ AND EACH MAN MUST FIND HIS FAITH ♪

♪ AND ANOTHER BATTLE PLACE ♪

♪ SAVE YOUR DRAGON SLAYIN' BATTLE FOR THE WAR ♪

♪ AND THOUGH YOUR HEART BEATS TRUE ♪

♪ SOMETIMES IT SURPRISES YOU ♪

♪ AND STRONGLY RIDES WITH YOU TO FIND THE SWORD ♪

♪ KEEP FIGHTING FOR THE HONOR AND THE GLORY ♪

♪ NOBODY UNDERSTANDS THE GREATEST GUY'S A FOOL ♪

♪ YOU ARE THE HERO OF THE STORY ♪

♪ RISE UP EACH TIME YOU TAKE A FALL ♪

♪ KEEP FIGHTING FOR THE HONOR AND THE GLORY ♪

♪ NOBODY UNDERSTANDS THE GREATEST GUY'S A FOOL ♪

♪ YOU ARE THE HERO OF THE STORY ♪

♪ RISE UP EACH TIME YOU TAKE A FALL ♪

SO, HOW'D I DO?

WELL, ASIDE FROM ALMOST CUTTIN' OFF MY HEAD,

I THINK YOU DID OK.

THANKS.

I'LL SEE YA TOMORROW.

BYE, GLEN, TAKE IT EASY. BE GOOD.

DID YOU FORGET SOMETHING?

YOU GUYS WANT TO, UH--

YOU WANT TO BACK OFF WITH THOSE THINGS, ALL RIGHT?

HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY.

COME ON, MAN, WHAT'S THE IDEA?

JUST WANTED YOU TO SEE

HOW EASY IT IS TO GET HURT AROUND HERE.

FATALLY HURT.

YEAH, WELL, I DON'T FIND THAT THAT FUNNY.

WASN'T MEANT TO BE.

THERE'S SOMETHIN' FISHY ABOUT YOU, SWAYZE.

YOU SMELL LIKE A COP, SO I DID SOME CHECKING. GUESS WHAT I FOUND?

WELL, I'M NOT A MIND READER, SO I DON'T KNOW. WHAT DID YOU FIND?

YOU JUST GOT OUT OF HUNTSVILLE,

WHERE, UH, WE HEARD YOU WERE BRONC-BUSTING CHAMPION.

YOU'RE A REAL DICK TRACY.

SO WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL US?

FIRST OF ALL, 'CAUSE IT'S NONE OF YOUR DAMN BUSINESS.

AND SECOND OF ALL, IF THE MANAGER FINDS OUT

I'M AN EX-CON, SHE'S GONNA FIRE ME, ALL RIGHT?

NOT PLANNIN' ON RIPPIN' THE JOINT OFF, ARE YA?

FOR WHAT?

NO.

SO WHY WERE YOU SNOOPIN' AROUND?

JACK?

YOU KNOW, YOU NEVER SAID ANYTHING

ABOUT YOUR BUDDIES HERE.

AND, UM...

I DON'T DO FOURSOMES.

SORRY.

THEY MUST HAVE BEEN KEEPIN' A CLOSE EYE

ON YOU EVER SINCE YOU GOT HIRED.

WELL, I'D HAVE BEEN DEAD MEAT

IF YOU HADN'T SET UP THAT PHONY PRISON RECORD FOR ME.

AND IF I HADN'T SHOWN UP.

I DON'T DO FOURSOMES?

COME ON-- WELL, IT SAVED YOUR BUTT.

SO WHAT DO WE DO NEXT?

THEY'LL HAVE TO REPLACE POLLARD.

GAGE, TRY TO GET CLOSE TO HAWKINS.

SEE IF THEY'LL PICK YOU.

OK.

I'LL SEE IF I CAN GET MORE INFO ABOUT WILEY

FROM HIS GIRLFRIEND.

OK, GOOD.

OK.

MM. OH, GOD. IT'S REALLY GOOD.

OH, MY GOD, I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS.

YOU WANNA TRY SOME OF THIS?

OK.

MORNIN'.

CHIEF.

GOOD NEWS.

THE CAR IS FIXED.

ERNIE'S GOT HER RUNNIN' LIKE A TOP.

BET Y'ALL ARE EAGER TO HIT THE ROAD, AIN'T YA?

OH, YEAH.

YESSIREE.

HE'LL HAVE YOUR AXLE STRAIGHTENED OUT IN NO TIME.

YOU'LL BE ON YOUR WAY. [CHUCKLES]

WHAT'S WRONG WITH MY AXLE?

ERNIE DIDN'T TELL YA?

WELL, HE TOOK HER OUT FOR A ROAD TEST,

AND SOME CRAZY S.O.B.

RAN HIM STRAIGHT INTO A DITCH.

CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT?

[DISHES BREAKING]

[CAT HOWLS] [PEOPLE ARGUING IN SPANISH]

ANYWAY, Y'ALL HAVE A SAFE TRIP.

COME BACK AND SEE US SOMETIME, ALL RIGHT?

HEY, LISTEN, I WILL PAY YOU

WHEN I CAN PAY YOU, ALL RIGHT?

WHAT DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND ABOUT-- ABOUT THAT?

I'LL GIVE-- YOU'LL GET IT

WHEN I CAN GIVE IT TO YOU!

THAT'S ALL I CAN TELL YOU!

OK, SO QUIT HASSLING ME!

EX-WIFE'S BLEEDIN' ME DRY.

HEY.

HOW'RE YOU DOING?

GOOD.

GOOD LUCK.

THANK YOU.

WHAT A CUTIE PIE.

HE'S MY KNIGHT IN SHINING ARMOR.

OH, GOSH. YOU GUYS LOOK SO CUTE TOGETHER.

HOW LONG HAVE YOU KNOWN HIM?

ALMOST A MONTH.

YEAH.

ARE YOU SEEING ANYONE?

ME? NO.

BUT YOU'RE GETTING INTERESTED.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

YOU HAVE YOUR EYE ON THAT NEW KNIGHT JACK.

THERE'S SOMETHING GOING ON WITH YOU TWO. I CAN TELL.

WELL, MAYBE.

LOOK, I JUST WANT TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR GUY.

SO WHAT'S HIS NAME?

BEN WILEY.

BEN.

HE'S WONDERFUL--

SWEET, ROMANTIC,

WITH A REALLY GREAT BOD.

WHOA, SOUNDS PERFECT.

HE IS, AND HE IS SO GENEROUS.

REALLY?

LOOK WHAT HE GAVE ME.

WOW.

THAT'S BEAUTIFUL.

WHEN DID HE GIVE THAT TO YOU?

LAST WEEK.

HMM.

DON'T SAY ANYTHING, OK?

BEN MADE ME SWEAR NOT TO SHOW IT OFF.

OH, NO, I WON'T. OK.

HEY, WHAT WERE YOU IN HUNTSVILLE FOR?

FOR BEING STUPID.

IF THAT WERE A CRIME,

HALF THE STATE WOULD BE LOCKED UP.

ARMED ROBBERY.

HEH HEH. NICE MOVE.

THANKS.

SO WHAT DID YOU ROB? LIQUOR STORE.

THERE'S NO MONEY IN THOSE PLACES.

LIKE I SAID, IT WAS STUPID.

HEH HEH.

SO YOU DID YOUR TIME. YOU LEARNED YOUR LESSON.

YEAH, SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

GOT YOURSELF A NICE HONEST JOB

THAT DOESN'T COVER YOUR BILLS.

I DON'T PLAN ON DOING THIS LONG.

ME, NEITHER.

SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO MAKE UP YOUR OWN RULES.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

WELL, LIKE THIS.

HEY, MAN, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

THIS ISN'T IN THE SCRIPT.

THAT'S THE FUN OF IT.

COME ON, JACK.

SHOW ME WHAT YOU GOT.

NICE FIGHT.

THANKS.

SO LISA SAID WILEY GAVE HER THE NECKLACE A FEW WEEKS AGO.

WHICH WOULD HAVE BEEN RIGHT AFTER THE FIRST BURGLARY.

YEP, AND I SAW THE INSURANCE PHOTOS OF THE STOLEN JEWELRY.

HER NECKLACE LOOKS LIKE ONE OF THE PIECES.

UH--

OK, I'LL TELL YOU WHAT. AFTER THE SHOW TONIGHT,

I'LL DO A LITTLE MORE LOOKING AROUND.

RIGHT.

[ENGINE SPUTTERING]

[TRACTOR HONKING]

SORRY.

[VAN HONKING]

Van Driver: MOVE IT OR LOSE IT!

SORRY!

I--I TELL YOU, THIS-- THIS IS MAKING ME SICK.

LIVE WITH IT.

BUT--

OH, YOU--YOU KNOW THAT THERE'S NO SERVICE OUT HERE...

WITH--WITH--[GULPS]

[ENGINE SPUTTERING]

HEY, EXCUSE ME.

HAVE A GOOD NIGHT.

YEAH, SEE YOU TOMORROW, JACK.

DID YOU CALL HIM JACK?

YEAH, WHY?

I COULD HAVE SWORN THAT WAS FRANCIS GAGE.

BACK WHEN HE USED TO DATE A GIRLFRIEND OF MINE HE WAS A COP.

HMM, IT LOOKS JUST LIKE HIM.

HE'S A COP?

JANICE SAID HE USED TO GO OUT WITH HER FRIEND.

IS SHE SURE?

I MEAN, MAYBE SHE'S GOT HIM MIXED UP WITH SOMEBODY.

I'M NOT GOING TO TAKE ANY CHANCES.

YEAH, THAT'S SMART.

WE'LL JUST COOL IT TILL WE LEAVE TOWN.

HEY, HEY, NOBODY SAID ANYTHING ABOUT COOLING IT.

WE'VE GOT TO, MAN.

WE'VE GOT A COP NOSING AROUND.

I'LL TAKE CARE OF IT.

HOW?

THE MAN'S GOT A DANGEROUS JOB.

ACCIDENTS HAPPEN.

HEY, WHY ARE WE STOPPING HERE?

[RING]

WALKER.

HEY, WALKER. IT'S TRIVETTE.

[PHONE STATIC] HELLO?

HELLO, CAN YOU HEAR ME? IT'S TRIVETTE.

HELLO?

IT'S TRIVETTE. CAN YOU HEAR ME?

UH, UH, E-E-EXCUSE ME. T-THERE'S, UM--

BE QUIET. OK.

TRIVETTE, IS THAT YOU?

YEAH, WALKER, IT'S ME.

CAN YOU SPEAK UP? I CAN BARELY HEAR YOU.

UH, RANGER TRIVETTE.

WOULD YOU-- DO YOU SEE THE SWAR--

Walker: TRIVETTE.

THERE'S, UM--

WHAT?--LATER, HUH.

OK. [BEES BUZZING]

OH, MY-- OH, NO.

OH, MY LORD! OH!

TRIVETTE? NO! NO!

HELLO?

NO! OH, LOOK AT THAT.

HELLO? OW!

AAH! AAH!

OW, OW, OW!

OW! OH! OW!

HEY, LISA.

HEY.

WHAT'S WRONG?

NOTHING.

COME ON. I KNOW YOU BETTER THAN THAT.

IS IT YOUR KNIGHT?

HE BROKE UP WITH ME.

WHY?

BECAUSE HE'S GOING TO ANOTHER CASTLE SOON,

AND I SAID I'D COME, TOO,

BUT HE SAID HE WASN'T READY FOR A SERIOUS COMMITMENT.

OH, I'M SORRY.

HE EVEN TOOK THE NECKLACE BACK.

OH, YOU POOR THING.

COME HERE.

HIGH. HIGH. LOW. LOW. GOOD.

SEND ACROSS. HIGH.

DIE!

GOOD, MAN, THAT WAS COOL. GOOD JOB.

NEXT TIME YOU DIE, OK? ALL RIGHT.

Hawkins: SO HOW ABOUT IT, JACK? WHAT'S THAT?

YOU WANT TO TRY TO PLAY THE BLACK KNIGHT?

THE BLACK KNIGHT?

THAT'S A PRETTY TOUGH ROUTINE.

I DON'T KNOW IF I'M READY FOR THAT YET.

I'M SURE YOU ARE. TRY IT TONIGHT.

JUST GIVE IT YOUR BEST SHOT.

IT COULD MEAN NOTHING.

WILEY PROBABLY NEVER INTENDED TO LET HER

KEEP THE NECKLACE ANYWAY.

OR MAYBE THEY GOT SPOOKED,

AND DECIDED TO HIDE ANY EVIDENCE.

I MEAN, THAT'S PROBABLY WHY HAWKINS

TOLD YOU TO BE THE BLACK KNIGHT.

YOU THINK HE'S TRYING TO SET ME UP?

IT'D BE EASY ENOUGH TO MAKE IT LOOK LIKE AN ACCIDENT.

WHEW, WOULDN'T THAT BE STUPID,

TO TRY SOMETHING BECAUSE THEY THINK WE'RE ONTO THEM?

JUST BE CAREFUL.

OK.

WHAT'D YOU MAKE THE NEW LANCE OUT OF?

IT'S PINE.

IT'S NOT GOING TO BREAK AWAY LIKE THOSE BALSA ONES.

THAT COP WILL BE DEAD BEFORE HE HITS THE GROUND.

YEP.

JUST MAKE SURE YOU GET THESE LANCES SWITCHED

BEFORE THE COPS GET AHOLD OF THIS ONE.

HOW AM I GOING TO DO THAT IN FRONT OF 2,000 PEOPLE?

LOOK, I WILL TIME MY PASS SO I FINISH

BY THE ENTRANCE TO THE ARENA, RIGHT?

I DROP MY LANCE, RUN OUT TO SWAYZE.

EVERYBODY'S WATCHING ME, RIGHT?

SO NO ONE WILL SEE YOU MAKE THE SWITCH.

[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

[CEREMONIAL MUSIC PLAYING]

KNIGHTS, I MUST HAVE A CHAMPION.

A FIRST KNIGHT TO DEFEND MY THRONE

AND MY HONOR.

THEREFORE, I DECREE THAT ALL COMBAT SHALL BE

TO THE DEATH.

SIRE, THE CASTLE IS UNDER ATTACK.

THE WALLS HAVE BEEN BREACHED.

CALL TO COMBAT!

[AUDIENCE BOOING]

YOU THERE!

WHO ARE YOU, AND WHAT DO YOU SEEK IN MY CASTLE?

THAT I MAY AVENGE MY FATHER'S DEATH.

I FEAR YOU NOT, BLACK KNIGHT.

YOU SHALL SUFFER THE SAME FATE.

[AUDIENCE BOOING]

[APPLAUSE AND CHEERING]

THANKS.

IT'S PINE.

THAT COP'LL BE DEAD BEFORE HE HITS THE GROUND.

[FANFARE]

[APPLAUSE AND CHEERING]

[APPLAUSE]

THAT'S NOT THE WAY IT'S SUPPOSED TO GO.

[CHEERING]

UHH.

YEAH, IT WAS EXCITING.

ANYWAY, THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR ALL YOUR HELP.

WELL, DID HE CONFESS?

OH, YEAH.

WILEY'S MUCH MORE OF A LOVER THAN A FIGHTER.

IT TOOK HIM LESS THAN 10 MINUTES TO TURN ON HAWKINS.

YOU KNOW, THAT WAS PRETTY SLICK

THE WAY YOU FOOLED WILEY INTO THINKING

THE COP THEY SHOT DURING THAT ROBBERY DIED.

HE COULD NOT WAIT TO MAKE A DEAL.

WITH HIS COOPERATION, WE SHOULD BE ABLE

TO RECOVER A LOT OF THE STOLEN ART AND JEWELRY.

GREAT. OH, BY THE WAY,

GAGE, UH, THE OWNER OF MEDIEVAL TIMES CALLED,

AND HE SAID ANYTIME YOU GET TIRED

OF WORKING FOR THE TEXAS RANGERS,

YOU'VE GOT A JOB.

NO, THANKS.

SIT OVER THERE.

OH, MY LORD.

WHAT THE DEVIL?

DON'T SAY ANYTHING.

THAT WAS TRIVETTE, RIGHT?

HAVE YOU EVER SEEN SO MANY BAND-AIDS

ON A HUMAN BEING BEFORE?

NOT A LIVE ONE.

[THEME SONG PLAYING]

♪ 'CAUSE THE EYES OF THE RANGER ♪

♪ ARE UPON YOU ♪

♪ ANY WRONG YOU DO HE'S GONNA SEE ♪

♪ WHEN YOU'RE IN TEXAS, LOOK BEHIND YOU ♪

♪ 'CAUSE THAT'S WHERE THE RANGER'S GONNA BE ♪