Original subtitles

-(cheers and applause) -KEEN: Ladies and gentlemen,

by golly, he's done it again.

The incomparable, the indomitable,

-the one and only Desi Orr... -Yeah! Come on!

...has become the Northeast's cherry pie eating champion,

his 22nd title.

And by the looks of it,

he's not giving up that crown anytime soon.

♪ ♪

Yeah!

Who's the champ?

I am!

-(cheering) -(whistling)

(indistinct chatter)

Mr. Orr?

Hey, how's it going, bud?

-You got something for me to sign? -Oh.

Uh, no, no, nothing like that.

I just-- I just wanted to say what a thrill it was

seeing you compete today. Incredible stuff.

Hey, thanks a lot.

Glad you enjoyed it. Have a good one.

Oh, you know, I've been following your career

ever since the Flamers Hot Wings finals back in 2006.

You know, the way you shucked those bones--

-so masterful. -(chuckles)

Now, please. Let-let me. You know, let me get that.

-Oh. I-- -You shouldn't be doing any heavy lifting,

you know, on a full stomach.

Thanks.

You know, I'm from Coney Island, you know, born and raised.

You know, I've seen every, uh,

New York Coalition of Competitive Eating championship

since I could say "New York

Coalition of Competitive Eating."

(chuckles) You are a legend.

Well, flattery will get you everywhere.

-(both chuckle) -Uh, yeah, you've even

inspired me to enter some competitions myself.

Yeah, you know, small-time stuff.

-Pickles. Deviled eggs. -Pickles?

Soon you'll be sucking down ribs like they're nothing.

Hey, man, you know, maybe-- could I maybe get your email?

I mean, I'd love to pick your brain.

-Uh, listen, Kevin-- -Cody. Cody Baxter.

I start training for the championship on Tuesday.

-This is my busiest time of year. -Yeah. Yeah.

No, I-I-- I get it. For sure. But, you know,

you ever need a helping hand, I'm-I'm your guy.

-I-I don't... I don't really-- -You wouldn't even have

to pay me, really.

I'd just love to have a front-row seat

in the life of a champion.

Well...

DESI: The first thing you need to know about competitive eating

is that 99% of the game happens

before you take your first bite.

And... go!

ORR: You're training your body

and your mind to do the unthinkable.

Strengthening your jaw muscles,

suppressing your gag reflex,

and most importantly...

stretching your stomach.

The human stomach can only hold between

one to two liters of food.

But with regular water cleanses

and practice eats, I'm now capable

of eating seven liters' worth.

That's why I'm the best.

And winning is only the beginning.

It opens doors to brand deals,

sponsorships, national commercials.

That's where the big money is.

And that money goes right back

into the grind. Concierge doctors,

publicists, and a superstar image.

Well, no, no!

Desi doesn't do crab cakes.

DESI: But at the end of the day,

being a winner comes down to one thing:

mindset.

-No blue pens. -Mm-hmm. Come on.

DESI: Because the life of a champion

doesn't stop after the eating is done.

You need to stay hungry to win...

...whatever it takes.

And stop!

Whew.

That was your best one yet.

(groans)

Eh. There you go.

I'm back!

Uh, good news.

They finally got the mustard stain out of your chinos.

And, uh, Dingo's Donuts needs

that final friends and family list, uh, you know,

for that promotional event tomorrow, so if we could, uh...

You got some explaining to do, Baxter.

Uh... so...

-about the chinos? -You know,

I haven't been feeling quite myself lately.

It happens sometimes during training, as your body adjusts.

But this time...

it felt different.

Found these in your backpack while you were out.

I'm surprised it took me as long as it did

to notice the bitter aftertaste of my water cleanses.

I...

I can explain.

You little worm!

-(grunts) -I know

exactly what you're trying to do.

I should have you arrested.

-I should kill you! -No, please.

Please.

(Cody panting)

You don't understand.

You know? You...

you don't know what it's been like.

You know, ever since my parents--

I mean, now that they're gone, it's...

it's just been me and my, and my poor old grandma,

you know, and I've just been...

And I just thought if I could

maybe just...

make something of myself.

You know? Like, if I could just...

like, be... be, like, a real winner, you know?

I mean like you.

No. You're never gonna be like me.

Because if you so much as enter

a gum-chewing contest, I will report you

to every league, every state fair,

and the authorities. You got it?

Now get the hell out of here.

(backpack zips)

(indistinct chatter)

♪ ♪

(excited chatter)

KEEN: Ladies and gentlemen! Put your hands together

for the Dynamo of Donuts,

the Count of Crullers,

the crème de la crme filling--

Desi Orr!

-(cheering) -Come on! Come on!

-(cheering) -(whooping)

KEEN: The undisputed king of eating has been challenged

by Dingo's Donuts--

the proud sponsor of

the New York Coalition for Competitive Eating--

to eat 50 donuts in under five minutes!

-Do we think he can do it, folks? -(cheering)

KEEN: Let's find out.

Five minutes on the clock, please.

Desi, are you ready?

You donut!

(chuckles)

-(cheering) -(chanting): Eat! Eat! Eat! Eat!

Eat! Eat! Eat! Eat!

Eat! Eat! Eat! Eat! Eat! Eat!

(chanting): Desi! Desi!

Desi! Desi! Desi!

(cheering)

Well, folks, he's donut again.

There is no challenge too great

for the unconquerable Desi Orr!

(cheering)

CROWD (chanting): Desi! Desi!

Desi! Desi! Desi!

(cheering and chanting continue)

(cheering fades)

(crowd gasps)

(panicked chatter)

Hey, uh, is there a doctor? Do we have a doctor here?

♪ ♪

FLEMING: Damn shame. Desi Orr was

-at the top of his game. -You knew the guy?

Oh, yeah. He's the biggest name in pro eating.

My pops used to bring us here every year

to watch the NYCCE championships.

There's nothing like eating a funnel cake while watching a guy

eat a few dozen hot dogs in the blazing hot sun.

Oh. Hi. Sorry I'm late.

I got distracted by an aquarium...

and then-- then a freak show...

and then a cotton candy cart.

-Can't have that here. -Oh. Okay.

(indistinct crowd chatter)

Can you believe I've never been to Coney Island?

I was supposed to take Teddy here

when he first came to visit, but then

I got selected for jury duty and that became a whole thing.

Do you think I have time

for a quick ride on the Wonder Wheel?

-No. Summerville... -(groans)

According to the EMT, Desmond Orr, 45,

went into cardiac arrest after a promotional event.

The donut saw the whole thing.

He's pretty messed up.

ELSBETH: Aw.

Poor donut.

It's sad, but it's not exactly a big surprise.

The guy pushed his heart to the limit.

Turns out the limit was

50 donuts in just under five minutes.

ELSBETH: 51 donuts.

Maybe it was the last one that pushed him over the edge.

(man sobbing)

Oh. Sir?

Are you okay?

Aw.

You're even sadder than the donut.

Did you know the deceased?

He was my patient.

I'm Dr. Lester Grosse.

I was Desi's sports doctor. I-I cleared him to compete.

Oh, God, the litany of lawsuits I'm looking at.

I'm ruined.

You... cleared him.

Is that required?

At the level Desi worked,

we had to monitor his health for each

of his corporate sponsors.

So it sounds like you paid

pretty close attention to his heart.

Yes. That man was the six-million-dollar stomach.

(sobbing)

According to the autopsy,

that six-million-dollar stomach was full of jelly donuts

and about a bottle's worth of Vascilipine--

Desi's prescribed blood pressure medication.

How does someone unknowingly take a whole bottle of pills?

ME says that, judging from the time of death,

Desi likely ingested the drugs about a half-hour earlier.

Right around the time he ate a wheelbarrow of donuts.

-So someone poisoned the donuts? -ELSBETH: Mm.

-God, what has the world come to? -ELSBETH: Weird.

The report also shows that Desi had trace amounts

of oral semaglutide in his system.

But he wasn't prescribed a GLP-1.

FLEMING: That's what's weird?

GLP-1s aren't exactly hard to get your hands on.

My sister ordered a baggie full online.

Now she's no fun to have dinner with.

Yeah, but why would a competitive eater

take a drug that suppresses his drive to eat?

I think the better question is

what kind of psychopath murders by donut?

♪ ♪

Every year, the city holds

the Midtown Melee Softball Tournament,

where all the city services go head-to-head.

And every year,

our precinct loses

to Ladder 44.

But this year is going to be different.

This year, I'm coaching us to victory.

I'm putting together the best team this league has

-ever seen. -Ooh! Are we playing a game?

What are we playing? Can I play?

(chuckles) Elsbeth. Uh, I didn't see you there.

Oh, it's just a, you know, silly rec softball game.

You're probably not interested.

I love games. Especially silly ones.

But, uh, have you ever played softball before?

No, but how hard could it be? The ball's soft.

-(weak chuckle) -Count me in.

WAGNER: I...

See you on the field, Coach.

(weak chuckling): Oh, yeah, yeah.

Ugh. (groans softly)

Uh, Elsbeth, am I interrupting?

I've been, uh, combing through

some of the videos from the event.

I think we should talk to this guy.

The donut?

Oh, no, not the donut.

Um...

Look. That guy.

-With the fun hat. -That's Earl Keen.

The NYCCE founder.

Doesn't seem all that nice to me.

Sure! Desi could be a cocky hothead

with a bad attitude, but he had a fire

in that elastic belly of his.

-It's what made him a star. -ELSBETH: And what exactly

did your star have a problem with at the Dingo's event?

He shoved you pretty hard.

He accused me of sneaking day-old donuts into the bunch.

Said he could taste the difference.

But NYCCE takes food quality very seriously.

Dingo's made all 50 donuts fresh that morning.

What about the 51st?

According to the scoreboard at Dingo's,

Desi ate 51 donuts.

Unless the scoreboard was wrong...

Ma'am, I can't explain that extra donut,

but I can guarantee that in all my years running NYCCE,

I have never-- never-- miscounted.

Mr. Keen, besides the kitchen staff,

did anyone else have access

to the plate of donuts ahead of the event?

The only people who could have been close enough

would have been in the VIP section.

Desi dropped off his friend and family list that morning.

There's a VIP section to watch a guy eat donuts?

There's a VIP section for everything.

I just can't believe he's gone.

At least he died doing what he loved most.

Eating an extraordinary amount of food.

Miss Sullivan, did you happen

to speak with Desi that morning before his death?

The last I heard from him was a text from the night before.

Three words every girl wants to hear.

"I love you"?

"You were right."

Any idea what you were right about?

It could have been anything. Desi was sort of helpless

and I know everything.

Do you know what he was doing

that evening when he texted you?

Or maybe where he was? Who he was with?

Okay, so I don't know some things.

Sue me!

You know who might know?

His little mentee, Cody.

Yeah, super helpful guy.

We don't have a Cody on the friends and family list.

It's a funny name for it,

considering half the people on that list

are not friends or family of Desi.

NYCCE insisted

that all the contestants of the championship be there.

And they were all jealous of Desi.

Especially Ben Tanaka.

Desi beat Tanaka in the 2019 championship

and has won ever since.

He's Desi's biggest rival.

And my ex.

It's messy.

Desi hated him. A-And he hated Desi right back.

He-- Uh, he posted something last week. I'll show you.

Mark my words, Orr.

Your ass is going down.

Watch your back.

I meant his ass was going down in the championship.

It was just a little smack talk.

I would never go through the trouble

of actually killing the guy.

Not even after he stole your girlfriend?

Candy? (laughs)

No. Candy is a Chow Chaser.

A FrankFlirter?

A HornDog?

She only dates competitive eaters.

She and Desi deserve each other.

And he ruined the fun of the sport for a lot of us.

And that was before the rumors.

What kind of rumors?

A few years back, word got out

that Desi spiked one of the competitors' water cups

with gelatin. You know, to slow things down.

Ick.

I didn't want the guy dead,

but I'm also not sad to see him go.

These new competitors need

better role models to look up to.

Someone with morals.

Someone like me.

Candy Sullivan said you might be able

to fill in some gaps for us,

particularly around the night before Desi's death.

She said you're very helpful.

Candy said that? Aw.

That's awfully nice of her.

Love that top, by the way.

Such a fun, funky pattern.

Oh. Aren't you sweet?

Yeah, I was with Desi that night.

Yeah, I just dropped off some... some groceries

and some... some dry cleaning and some-some mail.

And then he sent me home.

Didn't see him again, till

he was on stage, before...

Ah, I'm sorry. Yeah.

Desi was more than just a mentor, you know?

He was a... he was a friend.

Yeah. He taught me everything I know.

It was one of the great honors of my life.

If you were Desi's right-hand man and mentee,

why didn't he put you in

the friends and family section, up front?

Oh, you mean the splash zone?

No, I was, I was in the way, way back.

By the kitchen?

Detective... please.

For me.

Find out who did this.

If there's anything I can do to help...

-We'll let you know. -There will never be

another one like Desi Orr.

I only hope that I can honor his memory

by winning this year's NYCCE championship.

You're competing?

Oh, yeah. Just joined.

Yeah, I, uh, I've only ever won

small-time contests before. You know.

Deviled eggs, pickles...

But who knows?

Maybe this is my year.

(Elsbeth chuckles)

Ladies and gentlemen, cats and kittens.

Welcome to the stage your New York Coalition

of Competitive Eating championship eaters!

-(whistling) -(whooping)

Now, let's kick off the festivities

with the ceremonial first dog.

(scattered cheers, whoops)

KEEN: Tasty.

Uh, sorry to interrupt,

uh, but I just wanted to take this moment

to dedicate this hot dog

to my dearly departed mentor and my friend.

To Desi Orr.

I-I know that he--

as well as my-my parents, who are...

uh, now in a better place--

would just be so proud

to see me standing up here on this stage

alongside so many amazing competitors.

So touching!

Now, let's all count down from three together. Ready?

Three!

Two! One!

(cheers and applause)

That Cody guy seems nice.

He's awfully chummy with everybody.

Something tells me he's more shark than chum.

WAGNER: I've been meaning to talk to you

about this for some time.

It's not easy.

Uh, I wanted you to know this decision isn't personal.

It's based solely on performance.

And frankly, Officer Summerville

is better suited for your position.

Summerville?

-Mm-hmm. -But--

Now, we need someone a little more

spry at shortstop this year if we're going to have a chance

-to win the Melee. -(chuckling): Oh. Thank God.

Wait. Hold on. A little more spry?

-Mm-hmm. -I'm plenty spry!

I've been playing shortstop since the first Melee.

And there have been a hell of a lot more Melees since then.

-But Cap-- -Sorry to interrupt, sir.

Ben Tanaka is in the conference room.

WAGNER: Mm-hmm.

Hello, Summerville.

Hey, Buzz.

Hi, Ben. Uh, can we get you anything?

-Coffee? Croissant? -I'm off the clock.

Oh, right. Sorry. (chuckles)

Uh... so.

Yesterday, you mentioned

being a role model for new eaters.

You wouldn't happen to have been talking

specifically about Cody Baxter, would you?

Oh, you know Cody? God, he's the best.

He's been showing me and the other contestants

around Coney Island.

He reminds me that we don't have to be enemies

just because we're competitors

-you know? -Mm.

Right. Yes, you all seemed so friendly

at the opening ceremony.

Oh, speaking of...

Why didn't you eat your ceremonial first hot dog?

I'll be honest. I haven't been feeling

too interested in eating lately.

Not great for your line of work.

Yeah, I've been working on it with my therapist.

You know, this sport

is as much mental as it is physical.

And sometimes, especially under the pressure of competition,

eaters will lose their hunger to win.

So... they choke?

We don't like to use the C-word around here.

For obvious reasons.

We like to call it...

The Gaggies!

-The what now? -It's sort of like

when you're eating eggs and the eggs start tasting

too much like egg.

And it's more common in competitive eating

than you would think.

Take Federica Ricketts, for example.

She was the top pickle eater

in the greater Boston area five years running,

until a few months ago,

when she was hardly able to stomach half her usual score.

And then there's...

...Greg "The Gut" Hyde.

Now, he won gold every year

in the Hudson Valley deviled egg contest,

until this past June,

when he couldn't even finish a single egg.

Now, what do these eaters have in common?

The Gaggies?

Exactly.

They suddenly lost their drive to eat.

But these two have something else in common.

They also lost...

...to Cody Baxter.

I called to Miss Ricketts and, uh... The Gut.

They had nothing but the nicest things to say about Cody.

Just like Ben Tanaka.

But why did these champion eaters

suddenly lose their hunger come crunch time?

-I'm guessing you have a theory. -Sure do.

I think Cody sabotaged his competition,

not unlike his hero, Desi, did.

But with a GLP-1.

Just like the one found in Desi's system.

Let's say Cody was sabotaging Desi.

Why jump to murder?

I'm not sure just yet.

But I do know...

with Desi out of the way,

Cody is a lot closer to

gold and glory.

CODY: This... this is proof

that with enough dedication,

discipline,

and a... an alarming capacity for carbs...

...anything is possible.

What the hell are you doing?

Oh, Candy! Uh, yeah.

Uh, hmm. Uh...

I didn't even hear you come in.

Ew.

Take that off.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Yes, yes. Yes. Absolutely.

Sorry, sorry.

I just, uh, you know, I just wanted to know how it felt.

You know. Just...

Being-- Like, being a winner.

CANDY: I know what I was right about.

So when Cody first started shadowing Desi, I was like,

"Okay. Who the heck is this guy?"

And I told Desi that I was getting weird vibes.

But he just said I was being territorial.

-What kind of "weird vibes"? -(Candy exhales)

It was like Cody was studying him.

Like he wanted to be him.

And he even insisted on making all of Desi's

meal replacement shakes and electrolyte waters.

Well, if that text was about Cody,

that would explain why

he wasn't on the friends and family list

that Desi sent to NYCCE the next morning.

You think he found out Cody was slipping him GLP-1s?

CANDY: I don't know about the GLP-1s,

but I found a bottle of Desi's blood pressure meds when I was

sorting through his stuff for eBay.

-SUMMERVILLE: We'll run it for prints. -Yeah.

Meanwhile, I think we should pay Cody a little visit.

I'm afraid you just missed Cody.

He's off to work.

I do hope he's not in any trouble.

Um, no, no, we just have

-to ask him a few questions. -(dog yapping)

Wilford! Wilford,

will you knock it off, you little lunatic?

Mm! I love your outfit.

-Oh. -I didn't realize

it was the Mermaid Parade today.

(chuckles)

Aw.

Oh. That's little Cody-ody in his

-fifth grade spelling bee. -Mm.

Sixth place...

out of nine.

Hmm.

Oh, are these Cody's parents?

Yes. It's been so hard without them.

-(dog continues yapping) -Wilford!

Put a cork in it! You're being rude

-to our guests. -(laughs)

I do not know what's happened to him this week.

He's normally a nice little guy.

Oh, no, that's okay. My Gonzo is a yapper, too.

(chuckles)

Uh, if you don't mind me asking,

how did Cody's parents die?

Die? No, no.

They moved to Myrtle Beach.

And the new place didn't have

enough room for Cody,

so he moved into my basement.

And he's been so helpful.

-(kettle whistling) -Oh! Coffee's ready.

Looks like someone made a stop at Dingo's.

Ah, you caught me. I been snacking. (chuckles)

Cody was so nice

to bring me a box, even if he did

take my favorite one

before I could get my hands on 'em.

Let me guess.

-Jelly-filled? -How did you know?

Oh, just a lucky guess.

Ooh, I can't quit 'em.

They're not the same the next day,

but I can eat right through that dang GLP-1 anyway.

You're on a GLP-1?

It's a lot of hoo-ha, if you ask me.

I've been on it for months

and I haven't lost a pound.

But I do admit I like them new minty ones.

-(dog yapping) -I've had

just about enough of you, mister!

You want me to come up there?

Now, you mentioned that Cody is at work.

-(loud chatter) -(carnival music playing)

(children screaming happily)

All right.

Hiya!

Elsbeth!

Funny seeing you here.

You work on the boardwalk? That must be so fun.

Well, technically, I'm an, uh, independent contractor.

I make deliveries to different fairs and carnivals

-and such. -Oh. Like a carny.

That word has such a negative connotation.

You know, people think of carnies as being weird,

but look at me.

Uh, what brings you here?

Oh. Um, we just had

the loveliest visit with your grandma Mimi.

It was very informative, actually.

Really?

Informative how?

Oh, well, she told us about

how wonderful and helpful you are.

Feeding the dog.

Giving Mimi her pills.

Buying donuts for her to snack on.

-(bell buzzes) -(carnival music plays)

RECORDED VOICE: Step right up! Step right up!

Care to play?

Would I? (laughs)

Who could say no to all this?

Um...

But I have to warn you...

...I have surprisingly good accuracy.

Huh. Well, I love games.

Game on.

ELSBETH: You know, Cody, we also learned

that some of the things you told us

didn't turn out to be true.

I don't lie, Elsbeth.

Well, you said your parents

are in a better place. But they're in Myrtle Beach.

Arguably, a better place.

And you said your grandma Mimi is sick.

Well, her osteoarthritis has had a toll on all of us.

And you said Desi taught you everything you know.

-He did. -Like how

he sabotaged his competitors?

Ah!

RECORDED VOICE: We have a winner!

Oh! That's me! I'm the winner!

(chuckles)

(child screams)

(children screaming)

-(laughs) -Congratulations.

What else do you think you know?

I know that you've been stealing your grandma Mimi's GLP-1s.

And they're a match for the kind found in Desi's system.

Do you love games enough to cheat

and sabotage your way into the championship?

If you think I cheated, prove it.

But if I had to guess,

I'd say you can't prove anything.

Except for the fact that I bought a box of donuts.

And last time I checked,

that's not a crime. (chuckles)

Sorry.

I know how excited you were.

But if you'll excuse me,

I have more deliveries to make.

Careful what games you play, Elsbeth.

Some aren't quite as fun.

Oh. Are the new vending machines broken already?

I wanted a Twinkie.

Just until after the big game.

We don't need any unnecessary snacking slowing us down.

Um...

Do you think maybe you're taking this silly softball game--

your words, not mine--

a little too seriously?

I mean, some of our teammates are regretting signing up.

What? Like who?

Like all of them.

I think you hurt Buzz's feelings.

Detective Taylor missed drop-off at her kid's school

thanks to your mandatory pre-duty workouts.

And I'm pretty sure I heard Rivers

crying in here earlier.

All right. All right, you have a point.

If this Desi Orr thing has taught me anything,

it's that the line between friendly competition

and death by donut

is pretty thin.

Hey. What's that?

Donut?

I gotta say, maybe we were wrong about that guy.

He seems really nice.

"Thanks for all your great work! Good luck! Cody B."

Spit that out! Spit that out!

Bad news.

Forensics ran the bottle of Vascilipine for Cody's prints.

It's clean.

And any other prints would have been eaten

-along with the murder weapon. -ELSBETH: Wait a minute.

This prescription was filled the first of the month.

A 30-day supply with instructions

to take one pill a day.

But there are only two pills left in the bottle.

This feels like math class.

What day of the month

was Desi murdered?

The 28th. What's 30 minus 28?

Two?

Two! Why drug him

with all but two of the pills?

I think Desi was taking this as prescribed.

I don't think he was killed

-with his own pills. -WAGNER: And how does this

first-grade math problem help us?

If Desi and Cody had their falling-out

late the day before,

then how did Cody get his hands on Vascilipine

before the event the next morning?

He had to get it close to home.

Or maybe at home.

Uh, let's take five.

Elsbeth.

You've got a lot of nerve, coming here.

Well, I wanted to thank you for those

tasty treats you sent our way.

I made you these.

They look... wet.

Yeah, I'm not sure what that's about.

Well, I can't eat these before tomorrow's competition.

Besides, I have to watch my figure.

You're looking at the new face of Dingo's Donuts.

ELSBETH: Mm.

Well, you can share them with your grandma Mimi.

You know, she's pretty steamed at me

since you told her that she hasn't been getting her GLP-1s.

She had a right to know.

She is a sick old lady.

All right? All she does

is sit around with her sick, old dog.

All right? Food is one of the last

remaining pleasures she has in life.

And now she wants back on her GLP-1s.

What is she supposed to do for joy

now that you've taken snacking away from her?

Breathe?

Speaking of old, sick Mimi...

she wouldn't happen to have high blood pressure, would she?

Fortunately, no.

Her blood pressure is perfect.

Mine, on the other hand, is getting higher by the minute.

Goodbye, Elsbeth.

Hope you can come see me win tomorrow.

(indistinct chatter)

(sighs)

WAGNER: Come on.

Yeah! Attaboy.

Summerville, good catch.

ELSBETH: Good catch!

(both chuckle)

I really thought I had that last one.

-Yeah? -Turns out...

-didn't have it. -Well,

next time, keep your feet on the ground.

No need to do a somersault.

Yes, Coach. (sneezes)

-Ah! -Oh! I'm so sorry.

(sighs) My allergies have been kicking my butt this year.

Gonzo and I were rolling around in the grass the other day.

We were both up all night, itchy and sneezy.

You know, Elsbeth...

you can sit the game out--

(gasps) Oh, no. No. Then we both took a little bit

of antihistamine in a little bit of cheese

and we were good as new.

(gasps)

I got it!

-(laughs) -Eh?

-Hey, now, Elsbeth. -Oh.

(dog yapping inside)

Oh. You're back.

-And we brought your favorite. -(dog yapping)

KEEN: This is it! It's never been so close.

-CROWD: Six! -Tanaka and Baxter are

-neck and neck. -Five!

-Four! Three! -Who will pull ahead?

-It's... -Two! One!

Oh, heavens to Betsy!

Baxter takes it!

-He does it! He really does it! -(cheering)

This is a Cinderella story if I've ever heard one, folks.

Your newcomer, Cody Baxter,

has won the NYCCE championship!

(cheering continues)

(laughing)

Yeah! (laughs)

Mwah! Ha, ha! Loser!

Ooh, you're a loser!

You loser.

You lo...

-Oh! He's making a run for it! -Stop!

Unit 419 to Central! Suspect is fleeing

on foot! Male, 30s,

carrying a large hot dog trophy!

(seagulls calling)

Move. Get out--

Move! Out! Yes!

Get out of the way!

(grunts)

(shouts)

CODY: Oh. Oh, my God.

Oh. Too many hot dogs.

(panting)

(grunts)

-(panting) -(Cody groans)

Cody Baxter, you are under arrest

for the murder of Desi Orr.

How's that for spry?

SUMMERVILLE: That was my first chase!

I thought there'd be more in this job.

Whew. (exhales)

I have got to give you credit, Cody.

You told me yourself, you don't lie.

So yesterday, when you mentioned your grandma's sick, old dog...

(groans) ...I should have listened.

Grandma Mimi said

that Wilford had been acting strange all week.

Because he wasn't getting his medicine.

The Vascilipine used to kill Desi

belonged to the dog.

Grandma Mimi was more than willing

to share with us just how helpful you've been,

giving Wilford his medication

with this little syringe here.

CODY: That doesn't prove anything.

I'm the one that gives that dumb dog his medication.

Mm-hmm. Who's gonna tell you otherwise, huh?

The dog?

Oh, no. The dog wouldn't tell us anything.

But the traces of raspberry jelly

found on the tip of the syringe

sure did.

It's the same raspberry jelly from the donut

that you used to kill Desi.

You injected those meds...

(imitates jelly whooshing)

...right into the 51st donut.

I think I'm gonna be sick.

I hope you saved room for just desserts.

That's good.

(cheering)

(shouts) Go!

Go! Go!

WAGNER: All right, listen up. Listen up.

We've played a good game.

Some might even say a great game.

But it all comes down to this.

This moment, right now.

Last licks.

Bases loaded. Two outs.

-We're on the razor's edge. -Captain Wagner?

We don't need a home run.

We don't need a miracle.

We just need one run,

and it's ours for the taking.

-Captain Wagner! -Uh, Elsbeth, I'm sort of

-in the middle of something here. -I know,

but I haven't gotten to play yet.

And I really think I can do it.

(stammers) She's...

All right, Tascioni. You're up.

Yes!

Ay, battah battah.

Sa-wing battah!

Uh... are you sure about this, Captain?

But I'm up to bat. I've got this in the bag.

We're a team.

It's only fair that

Elsbeth gets a shot.

If we lose,

drinks are on me.

Elsbeth?

-Oh! -Is that you?

(laughs) Fire Marshal Jake.

What a small world!

How, uh, how-how you been?

-ELSBETH: Good! -I-I never heard back from you

about going to dinner. I thought--

You look, uh, good.

Oh. Why, thank you.

(giggles)

-UMPIRE: Ball! -WAGNER: All right.

TEAMMATE: Good eye. Good eye.

Ball two!

Oh, my God.

I don't believe it.

Yes.

Huh.

-UMPIRE: Ball three! -(laughs)

What is it with her and firemen?

BOTH: It's the hair.

This is it. Final pitch.

-Ball four! Take your base! -Yes!

-(cheering) -(whistling)

(shouting indistinctly)

I'm serious.

I haven't seen someone choke so badly in my whole life.

That was awfully clever thinking, Elsbeth.

Oh, I didn't do anything.

You guys did all the work. (chuckles)

Besides, I think this is

my last softball game.

-What? Why? -No.

But you won us the game.

Well, I'm not really an athlete.

I'm more of an arts-and-crafts gal.

And I don't think that my feminine wiles

will work the same on the team from the sanitation department.

-(laughter) -Well, Elsbeth,

I, too, want to commend you on your quick thinking today.

And I would also personally like to thank you

for helping me see that

winning is not the most important thing in the world.

But it's damn nice when you do.

(laughter)

WAGNER: Elsbeth on three. One, two, three!

ALL: Elsbeth!