Original subtitles

DreamWorks Animation Dreaming in Frames A CMC China Member

RUYI FILMS

Once every thousand years...

a calamity strikes the mortal realm.

Known as the Heavenly Tribulation.

Its power is so immense

it can shake the heavens and earth,

and level the mortal world.

This lamp, called the Jade Void Glazed Lamp,

is the supreme treasure of the Jade Emperor.

Having absorbed the essence of sun and moon,

it possesses extraordinary powers.

It can contain...

...all things in the universe.

When the Heavenly Tribulation arrives,

the Heavenly Court dispatches a Lantern Keeper...

...to escort the Glazed Lamp...

...down to the mortal realm.

It absorbs the world's calamities

and neutralizes the Heavenly Tribulation.

Under the lamp's protection,

for thousands of years,

the mortal realm has never suffered the Tribulation's wrath.

People live in peace and prosperity,

and the Three Realms are harmonious.

Dad, then why hasn't this Tribulation

been resolved yet?

Because the Glazed Lamp...

...is lost.

Mom, I'm scared.

Don't be scared. It's okay.

The kids have been through a lot fleeing with you, huh?

I... Three hundred acres of good land,

gone overnight.

I lost six hundred.

They say this tribulation comes once a millennium.

Why did it have to hit our generation?

With the Glazed Lamp gone,

we can never go back to our homes.

What about the Lantern Keeper?

Losing the lamp is such a big deal,

shouldn't he be reduced to ashes?

He's not dead.

Stripped of his powers, banished to the mortal realm.

Mom, I'm scared.

So this bastard...

...is hiding among us mortals now?

He's not going to Penglai to take refuge too, is he?

He'd better hope I don't run into him.

If I do, I'll teach him a lesson.

What a load of "heavenly protection"!

Even I couldn't lose it delivering it myself!

Penglai is the last sanctuary.

I wonder how much longer 'til we get there.

We're not getting there.

Close the gate!

Well done.

Lü Dongbin

Penglai.

Everyone, we're here.

Penglai Wonderland, All Wishes Come True!

Penglai is a heavenly paradise,

a secluded realm apart from the world,

an isle where humans and gods coexist.

It is an island where gods and mortals live together.

Governed by the Gods Fu Lu Shou:

Fortune, Prosperity, and Longevity.

After millennia of effort,

it has finally flourished into what we see today.

Look at that cloud!

Next stop: Temple of Wealth Station.

Transfer to Route 15 available.

Mind the gap between the train and the platform.

Look! Over here! Here he comes! Lord of Wealth!

Money really does keep you young!

The Immortal Network is live.

I want to make a wish! Quick! Over here!

All Wishes Come True! Thank you, kind Immortal!

Tied by fate's red thread!

The Immortal has answered!

Thank you, kind Immortal!

All Wishes Come True

Year 11 of Yuanhe. A plague ravaged the land.

Wu Xinchang stole...

...the Golden Crossove from Goddess Yunxiao

to suppress demonic forces.

Year 2 of Changqing. Floods hit Qian County.

Wu Xinchang stole the East Sea Tide Pearl

to hold back the deluge.

With this Heavenly Tribulation,

do you think Wu Xinchang...

will help us get the Glazed Lamp back?

People talk him up like he's a legend,

but isn't he just a thief?

With skills like that, why not do something useful?

Alright, alright, move along!

Besides, what's a lost lamp

got to do with us here in Penglai? Right?

Exactly!

Everything I said was true!

Where is this guy?

Nobody knows where he is.

Even the gods can't catch him.

I said, him.

Oh, Zhongli Quan.

Go to the Penglai Pavilion.

Thanks.

I've got limited edition wanted posters!

Only twenty!

Welcome, sir!

Just some water, please.

Get it yourself, by the stairs.

Thanks.

Stop!

You're too slow.

Farewell!

Hurry up! What are you doing?

Sorry about that,

first day on the road.

My wife told me to take it slow.

Hey, who are you? Bro, this is a brand-new car!

I haven't even taken my wife for a spin!

Move aside! What are you doing, dear--I mean--

Hey, young hero!

You're going the wrong way! That's dangerous!

Stop! Danger!

Next stop: Five Temples Station.

Transfer to Line 10 available.

Whoa! Get out of my way!

Hyah!

Stop!

Stop right there!

Hyah!

Ow, ow, ow!

Senior brother?

Who are you?

Zhongli Quan

Only the finest disciple of Zhongnan Mountain

is worthy of this sword.

Where did you get it?

Master gave it to me.

I'm four classes below you.

Four classes?

Have I ever seen you?

In any case, I've seen you.

So, you know all about my glorious past?

Getting expelled?

Yeah, you're definitely from Zhongnan Mountain.

Are you here to escape the Tribulation?

I'm on a mission.

A mission, huh?

I'm here to retrieve

the Jade Void Glazed Lamp.

The Glazed Lamp is in Penglai?

In the Three Star Lords' underground vault.

Hurry and tell the Jade Emperor!

They're searching the whole Three Realms!

So, you're the one they sent to retrieve the lamp.

Then what are you sitting here for?

Go confront the Three Lords!

They won't admit it.

The Three Stars' power

is far below the Jade Emperor's.

Lower-ranked immortals can't tamper with...

...a higher-ranked immortal's treasure.

So the Lords came up with a crude plan.

They had mortals use mica stone to reshape

the lamp's exterior.

Even its appearance changed.

That does make it hard to find.

That's why I'm looking for...

...the person who reshaped the lamp.

As far as I know,

his name is Han Zhongli.

Go find him, then!

Do you take me for a fool?

You are Han Zhongli.

Junior brother, what nonsense are you talking?

My name is Zhong... Li... Quan.

Mica stone has a side effect.

It corrodes human skin,

leaving flame-shaped scars.

You wouldn't happen to have used it recently, would you?

I burned myself a couple days ago.

Okay?

If there's nothing else, I'll be going now.

Want enough money to last ten lifetimes?

You'll never have to steal again.

Go on.

Inside the vault, besides the Glazed Lamp,

there's a massive pile of dirty money.

Only I know the vault's location.

Tell me what you shaped the lamp to look like.

However much you want,

I'll get it all out for you.

Suppose,

just suppose, I am that person you speak of.

I don't believe

you could actually get the money out.

Even if you did, you'd go back to Heaven

and turn me in. Where's my way out then?

I'm not the person you're looking for anyway.

This meal's on me.

Who's this guy?

Those three old goats really know how to work us.

But man, I've never

seen this much money in my life.

I'm sick of even the smell of it.

With all this cash, what if someone gets ideas?

This is the Three Stars' money.

Who'd dare mess with them?

They're immortals, aren't they?

Then why are they making us haul the chests?

Don't you know? This is off the books.

It's dirty money. Can't show it on the

Immortal Management Bureau's books.

Leaves a trail. So they have us move it.

Hey, they've sealed it up.

With all this money,

if we each took a couple bills,

nobody would notice, right?

Even if they did,

the Lords wouldn't dare report it.

Would they want the Jade Emperor to know

there's dirty money in their vault?

The Lords aren't fools.

Would they tell you where their vault is?

Blindfolds on when we go in, remember?

True.

You know what? Besides the Three Stars,

there's one other person who knows where the vault is.

No kidding?

Who?

That person...

...is...

Hey, why'd you stop?

Go on!

It's...

the Lantern Keeper.

Inside the vault, besides the Glazed Lamp,

there's a massive pile of dirty money.

Only I know the vault's location.

Where'd you hear all this?

Forget I said anything.

I'm hard of hearing.

I forget things.

What a heavy hand. (Thank You)

Nice little hole you've got here.

What do you want?

Just came to see the most wanted immortal

in all the Three Realms.

What's that supposed to mean?

Let's piece it together.

After graduating from Zhongnan Mountain,

you thought you'd rise swiftly

and join the Heavenly Court. But instead,

the Jade Emperor didn't even glance your way.

Just had you run errands, deliver parcels.

Worse than the stable boy. Then, coincidentally,

the Three Stars dangled a carrot.

Promised you fame and fortune. The catch?

Hand over one item. You said yes on impulse.

What you never imagined, that thing

was the Jade Void Glazed Lamp.

The lamp wasn't lost,

it was sold by you, to the Three Stars.

That's how you know the lamp is with them.

Am I right,

"Lantern Keeper"?

What's wrong?

Thinking of silencing me?

You wouldn't dare kill me. If I die,

you'll never find the lamp. Without the lamp,

how will you go back,

return to the celestial ranks?

So you admit you're that person?

We're in the same boat. What is there left to deny?

So,

how much do you want?

All of it.

All of it?

Mm-hmm.

You're too greedy.

I can't carry that much.

Who said you're carrying it?

I'll take it out myself.

I work alone.

Junior brother,

you're in no position to refuse me.

Right now, in the Three Realms,

only I know what the lamp looks like now.

Zhongli Quan, you've got some nerve.

Thanks for the compliment. The lamp's yours.

The money's mine. Deal, junior brother?

Do we have a deal?

The vault key is on the Lords themselves.

Step one: infiltrate their residence and get the key.

Junior brother, wait...

This is a barrier from the Southern Gate.

One touch and you're obliterated.

I understand.

The switch for all barriers

is in the guard tower.

If we get into the tower, deactivate the barrier,

we can enter the vault.

This is a Heart-Piercing Lock.

Only a matching keycard can open it.

Understood.

The keycard is on the celestial soldiers.

Get the card, open the lock, enter the vault.

Crap.

This is the Immortal-Binding Rope.

The strongest rope in the Three Realms.

Yeah, I got it.

Though unbreakable,

the Golden Shears can cut it.

If we get the Golden Shears, cut the rope,

get the keycard, open the lock, enter the booth,

disable the barrier, and we're in the vault.

But the Golden Shears are also...

in the Three Stars' underground vault.

It comes full circle.

Now what?

There's another way.

Look over there.

See that temple over there? We'll use it as cover

and dig a tunnel straight to the vault.

Get the money out,

and the Glazed Lamp.

That's your plan?

You doubt my professional skills?

Do I even need to?

Wouldn't a normal person go in from the top?

You're only thinking of yourself.

The lamp is small. You pocket it and leave.

How do I get my money out?

To get into the vault without a hitch,

and get my fortune out without a trace, this...

...is the only way.

I've already checked.

This temple is the closest to the Three Stars' residence.

This'll take forever to dig.

Think it over again.

Junior brother, don't forget,

I'm the only one who knows what the la...

Fine, fine, fine. Only you know.

Step one is figuring out

how to acquire this temple.

But only immortals can own temples.

We're mortals.

Now that's where you're wrong.

Stealing is just the action.

Deception is the core.

The highest form of deception...

...is to fool the heavens.

Get to the point.

The point is,

truth and lies, reality and illusion,

are yours alone to define.

The truth is yours alone to know.

The whole world...

...is kept in the dark.

So?

This is your "fool the heavens"?

Yep.

We look so fake.

Don't flatter yourself. Nobody's looking at you.

Quick question:

what's the penalty for impersonating an immortal in Penglai?

Death.

The security in Penglai is terrible!

Someone stole the money from my offering box

and ate my offerings!

Your business is on the second floor.

You have too many pending cases.

We have to...

Take back this temple.

His wish was too ridiculous!

He wants roosters to lay eggs

and hens to give milk

All to make a different cake!

What kind of nonsense is that?

Don't take the temple back!

The people of Penglai need me!

All Wishes Come True,

serving all beings with compassion.

Immortal Administrator #666 at your service.

Fine, fine. It's me.

You...

Are you serious?

How else was I supposed to get in?

Old Cao. His sister's the Empress.

We call him

Guojiu.

Cao Guojiu

I need a new identity.

Which temple are you burning down this time?

The higher-ups are broke, you know.

Insurance fraud? No way. Pfft.

Insurance fraud, huh?

I know where the higher-ups' money went.

Which one do you want?

Plot A-1350.

Too late!

That temple's already been rented out.

What?!

Now what?

Old Cao always has a trick up his sleeve.

Sir!

What now?

Listen, policy's changed.

We're taking this temple back. Careful now!

Easy, easy, don't fall!

You sure this is okay?

The temple is ours now. Close the doors,

and we can dig freely.

Impersonating officials?

Death penalty!

Aha. There's another one?

You two are also mortals?

Then how did you acquire the temple?

You think you're the only one with connections?

I've got connections too.

Since we're all fakes, this is easier.

Why do you want this temple?

Old Zhang calculated

this temple will be popular.

How about this: you rent it to me.

Once it's popular, I'll give it back.

Under you, it won't get popular!

Okay, then

you run the temple first.

When it's popular, you rent it to me.

If it's popular, why would I rent it to you?

Ow! He hit me! I think my bone's broken!

Looks like you just gained a new daddy!

Zhang Guolao

One hundred thousand!

Don't hold me back! I'll kill him!

Two hundred thousand!

It's no use. Can't you see?

They're vagrants too.

Why did you say "too"?

If tough won't work,

try soft.

I have a get-rich-quick plan.

Dig a tunnel from this temple

straight to the Three Stars' basement--

what are you doing?!

Did I tell you to say that?

You think I wanted to? Two shares become four.

They won't leave. What was I supposed to do?

Two shares? I don't want money.

I just want the lamp.

Who cares about you?

Old Cao's a person too.

Your plan's not bad. Let me make this clear:

since this temple is mine, I get the bigger share.

Seventy-thirty.

Hold on. There's something we haven't clarified.

I came up with this plan, didn't I?

Yes.

So shouldn't I get the bigger share?

But the temple is mine.

But the fundamental logic of this plan

was constructed by me.

It was constructed by you! But the temple is mine.

Stop harping on the temple! Without my plan,

that temple is worthless!

Your plan?

It's mine now.

I...

Young man,

no need to rush. No need to be anxious.

No need to push so hard at this age...

What about my age?

By the time Wuxinchang was my age,

he was already a Tier 1 wanted fugitive!

You know Wuxinchang?

Of course.

One day,

I will meet him.

Actually, you already have.

Wuxinchang is right before your eyes.

Could it be...

You're Wuxinchang?

Where are you looking? I'm Wuxinchang!

What nonsense are you talking?

This kid idolizes Wuxinchang. We can use that.

You're going to get us in trouble.

Whatever, who cares?

Nobody's ever seen Wuxinchang anyway.

Hold on, let me quiz you. Where did Wuxinchang

steal the Heavenly Lord's Pearl?

Trying to trick me?

Mount Qingcheng.

Then.. Then what treasure did Wuxinchang steal...

...from Goddess Yunxiao?

What goddess?

The Golden Crossove.

He got them all right!

My assistant.

How do you know all that?

Next time you try to fool someone,

do your homework first.

Heavenly Lord's Pearl, Mount Qingcheng. Heavenly Lord's Pearl, Mount Qingcheng.

You really are Wuxinchang!

Don't hesitate, young man.

Wuxinchang formally accepts you as his disciple

and requisitions your temple.

Do you accept?

Han Xiangzi

See?

This is the business license.

Mani pearls installed.

You're now officially registered immortals.

What is this?

But I must warn you,

immortals have a rule: All Wishes Come True.

Meaning, if mortals make wishes,

immortals must grant them.

But none of you are real immortals,

so you can't actually grant anything. Therefore,

don't let people make wishes. Got it?

Yeah, yeah, now get lost.

Ungrateful.

Junior brother,

you're in charge of the digging route.

Xiangzi, you handle the tools.

Old man,

can you control your donkey?

What about you?

I handle the most important part:

pretending to run the temple

while secretly digging.

Concealing the truth.

Fooling the heavens.

Use outward actions to hide your true purpose.

Hide within the obvious, not against it.

Speak plainly.

I stay here and make sure nobody makes wishes!

Then what's she doing?

Hey, lady, wait...

All Wishes Come True, serving all beings...

Hey, it's me!

You again?

So, here's the thing. I have a friend

who was running his temple

and accidentally let someone make a wish.

He asked me to find out how to handle it.

I can't help you. You have to fulfill it.

Otherwise, it'll stay pending in the Bureau's system.

You'll get caught eventually.

There's a thief in my family's bathhouse. Begging immortals to appear and solve it!

Ah, not too bad. Catch a thief in a bathhouse?

Junior brother, you check the baths.

Xiangzi, you check the changing rooms.

Old man, you...

do whatever.

And you?

I'll take the hot springs.

What thieves are there to catch in the middle of the night?

Where's the thief?

Where's the thief?

Where's the thief?

Where's...

Passing up a chance like this is a fool's game.

Junior brother,

is that you?

Junior brother, stop messing around.

I... I just saw someone...

Which one do I hit? Let me handle this!

The thief! In the water!

The thief is in the water!

I'll get you!

Stop hitting! It's me!

Zhongli Quan! Zhongli Quan! Zhong...

Come look!

I'm not going! There's a ghost!

What ghost?

It's a thief.

Old Li!

Lan Caihe / Tieguai Li

Zhongli Quan!

You know each other?

Yeah, we were cellmates once. Right?

Right, right! Cellmates!

Always running into each other at baths.

Small world.

Buy one ticket and stay a whole year.

I know your tricks.

I stopped doing that long ago.

This time I didn't even buy a ticket!

Really?

Go crawl back into the hole you came from.

You're ruining their business.

Old fox, I know you.

You're not here to catch thieves.

Something's not right. Got a big score?

Count me in!

Come here.

Get lost!

Look at you, half-baked. Mind your own business.

Don't meddle. Don't call my master half-baked!

He's Wuxinchang!

Oho?

Wuxinchang, huh?

I know plenty about you. What's the job?

Let's hear it. Listen up, if he's Wuxinchang,

then I'm Wuxinchang's father--

What do you want?

Wuxinchang,

you've got some nerve selling dreams to kids.

Kid, have you ever seen Wuxinchang?

Just tell me what you want.

Tell me what big thing you're sitting on.

A little money.

Whose?

The Three Stars'.

Then it's big. No matter what, I want in.

Fine, fine. Just keep your mouth shut,

and you get a share.

Deal. But I want two shares.

Are you crazy?

You're breaking the rules! Why do you get two?

He also gets one.

Can he even manage that much money at his age?

Listen up, this Wuxinchang...

Fine, fine. Two shares!

Deal!

He really is Wuxinchang!

The Glazed Lamp is ready, sitting safely in our vault.

Will you pick it up yourself, or shall we deliver it?

The lamp's disappearance weighs on all Three Realms.

If we don't act quickly,

there could be unforeseen consequences.

Wait! Lights on first!

Shou / Lu / Fu Longevity / Prosperity / Fortune

Is that okay? Was that too aggressive?

Too cocky, he'll get upset.

Then what do I do? Teach me!

And you,

you have to say "you," with respect.

Didn't I say it just now?

No, you didn't.

No way. I'm too nervous!

Enough! Stop talking!

Hello? Can you hear me?

Loud and clear.

Go ahead.

The Glazed Lamp is ready,

sitting safely in our vault.

Okay. Leave it there for now.

You...will you pick it up yourself,

or shall we deliver it?

He already said leave it there.

Oh, right.

What should I say?

Anything.

Grandpa Fu,

I said, leave it there for now.

The lamp's disappearance weighs on all Three Realms.

If we don't act quickly, there could be consequences.

The lamp...

He stole my line! Now what?

Whatever, just answer!

Forget it, let me talk.

How's the money prep...

The money prep...

The money...

Quick! Dig! Dig, you idiots! Go!

What's that noise?

Neighbors renovating.

The money is all in the vault,

together with the lamp.

And the banquet?

The banquet is also being prepared.

Invitations are being made. We were just wondering

who you'd like to invite.

All the immortals of the Three Realms.

All of them?

There's one thing I should mention.

Hosting all the immortals needs a reason, right?

What excuse should we use to invite them?

Why so many questions? Just invite them!

In ten days, celebrate Lord Shou's birthday,

and invite the immortals. What do you three think?

Is that okay?

Brilliant! Excellent! Great idea!

Perfectly justified. Open and aboveboard.

It's settled then.

But, I have a question.

What question?

In ten days, it's not my birthday.

In ten days, it IS your birthday.

Oh, and one more thing.

Go on.

If I hear that noise again during the banquet,

I'll...

What did he say he'd do to us?

We've got trouble!

They're going to demolish the temple!

Your turn. Hurry up and decide.

Fine, I'll throw my lot with you.

Four to three. Old Li, pay up!

That old man definitely got his eyelids done!

Still playing around?

I can stall them until the banquet day.

Only ten days? How can we dig that fast?

There's still ten whole days.

Guys,

our financial freedom for the rest of our lives

depends on these ten days.

The gunpowder I asked for? Here.

Let's get to work.

I never thought the digging would be this hard.

Move!

These young guys make the elderly--

Are you even working?

Everyone ready? All set.

That's too strong!

Why isn't it demolished yet?

Sir, regulations require paperwork.

You can prepare the documents

and apply at the Bureau.

I'm the boss of Penglai. I don't need paperwork!

Regulations.

I don't care. Demolish it before the banquet!

Once you have the paperwork, it can be demolished anytime.

But...

He dared to hang up on me first!

What?! You want me to prove I'm me?!

Are you starving to death?! Leave some for me!

What?! Why didn't you say that last time?

Now I have to go back again!

Junior brother,

are you sure you don't want to come?

Scram.

Laundry is a good look on you.

The bathhouse thief was caught that fast?

My wife made a wish at the temple,

and the next day it was granted.

Lightning fast!

Which immortal?

Pickpocket Immortal.

Which "pick"? Like pickpocket.

The immortal who catches pickpockets.

So it is "pick"! Like "pick" pockets. (Joke about Chinese homophones)

Caught a thief in the bathhouse

and picked his pockets.

Pickpocket Immortal! How impressive!

I said, you're so impressive!

Tomorrow I'm going to the Pickpocket Immortal's temple!

Me too! Let's go together!

Kind Immortals!

Stand up. No kneeling.

Kind Immortal!

Sir, I said no kneeling.

Kind Immortal!

Old Li! Xiangzi! Caihe! And old man!

You must dig faster. Speed up the tunnel.

Lü Dongbin and I will handle the temple business.

I can't keep this up.

I have to tell them

that we...

We really don't work miracles.

It's a lawful society now.

There aren't that many thieves.

Besides, your house is so clean.

If I were a thief, I wouldn't know where to hide.

Why are you hiding under the table?

Don't they say most dangerous place is the safest place?

Thank you, kind Immortal!

You're welcome.

It works!

Please, don't look for us!

Last time was just luck. Actually, we're...

See? I told you it works!

It can't be here, right?

Thank you, kind Immortal!

Next!

Who's making all that noise?

Stop coming here! There are so many temples!

Why do you all choose this one?

Didn't you say we don't work miracles?

Is that my fault?

Who knows a thief better than a thief?

Master,

more and more people are coming.

We can't get the dirt out.

Where there is red clay,

there is the Pickpocket Immortal.

Ensuring peace and safety in all things!

Here, one for each!

I have some too! Good fortune!

Here, sir, good fortune! Career success!

Academic success! Academic success, ma'am!

Many children!

Sir, may you have many grandchildren!

Hurry, almost out! Doggy!

Get down from the Immortal! Come on, son.

I'm so sorry!

No problem!

This old and still scared of dogs?

The Pickpocket Immortal's temple is packed!

Exclusive report:

Red clay ducks become the hottest fashion item!

Look, they're even putting them on altars.

Aren't we going too far?

Money lost can be earned again.

But if we lose our conscience--

We'll earn even more!

We're a hit!

Two...

Master, this will take years to spend!

This is nothing.

In the vault, there's enough for ten lifetimes.

Don't move.

Not all money can be taken.

Some bills have talismans. That kind of money

is exchanged with your lifespan.

Really?

Really.

Code of the trade.

But this one is clean.

Where is Zhongli Quan? Haven't seen him all day.

Master said he's not feeling well and needs rest.

Probably just slacking off.

That old fox gets sick every time it rains.

Doesn't do a thing. He's always been like that.

Forget him.

Why are you looking at me?

On the day of the banquet, take the Glazed Lamp.

Wuxinchang!

We have celestial magic, barriers, security.

A common mortal thief? Surely not a threat.

But he left a note in our food!

Did you notice?

Did you notice?

The Heavenly Lord's Pearl from Mount Qingcheng?

Was stolen by him.

Goddess Yunxiao's Golden Crossove?

He stole that too.

And the Glazed Lamp?

As the Pickpocket Immortals,

what principle guides you to catch so many thieves

and do so much good?

What principle? If there's money, then--

No, no! What keeps us going

is our deep love for the people of Penglai.

Where there is red clay,

there is the Pickpocket Immortal.

Ensuring peace and safety in all things!

Pickpocket Immortal!

The banquet is tomorrow night,

and you're still planning the route?

Is your route even reliable?

Master!

We're through!

Guys,

financial freedom is just ahead!

What are you going to spend it on?

Golden light!

Guess what that is?

No need to guess.

I can already smell it. It's gold!

Don't say it!

Too exciting!

Guys,

if I pass out in there,

do remember to catch me.

On three. Three, two, one!

I think we... dug the wrong way.

Guys,

catch me.

Zhongli Quan!

Why would anyone raise pigs this high up?

Let me confirm, we're not starting a farm, are we?

It's just seven pigs. How's that a farm?

Who are you calling a pig?

There's seven of us, exactly.

That's not what I meant!

Then say something interesting!

Fill the hole!

The dirt's all gone. Fill it with what?

It's your fault, Zhongli Quan!

Your fundamental logic is flawed!

How is that my fault? The temple is his!

No--the temple is mine! But he planned the route!

My route is correct.

The route is correct?

We all worked day and night, digging and moving dirt.

Only you were in charge of the route!

If the route was correct, why did we end up in a pigpen?

Do you have any idea how hard we worked?

Do you have any respect for me, your senior brother?

Shut up.

What's your attitude?

I can't even speak?

I will speak! I'll say it loud!

Zhongli Quan!

Did you see the look in those pigs' eyes?

They were laughing!

Laughing because we're dumber than pigs!

We spent days digging a secret tunnel--

Digging what?

D--ear Lords, what brings you here?

You've been renovating so long,

but nothing seems to have changed.

We've been caught!

Quiet!

So, you're the Penglai Pickpocket Immortals?

We're not!

No need to be polite. Let's act directly.

I'm sorry! - I'm just a kid! - Go easy on me!

Dear Pickpocket Immortals,

thank you for your service to Penglai.

This is a token of our appreciation.

Please accept it.

Don't move.

Gold falling into the hole will make noise.

Not enough?

No reaction?

If it's not enough, then add more.

Not excited? Look closely! This is gold!

Incredible! They're unmoved! I'll add more!

And more! And more!

Stop!

No need to add more!

Serving the people of Penglai is our honor!

What did I tell you?

They're real talent!

Congratulations, you've passed the test!

This is the key to the vault.

There's a very important treasure in our vault

that some thieves covet. We'd like to ask you...

...to guard the vault for us tomorrow.

Why won't you take it?

Truly extraordinary!

Yes, yes!

What's that noise?

Thank you, Lords!

That reaction... seems a bit delayed?

You don't understand.

True masters...

...are always like that.

It's settled then.

You will join us as invited immortals at the banquet.

After the banquet,

the gold will be delivered to you in full.

We'll see you tomorrow.

Guys, the plan has changed.

Tomorrow, we'll help

the Three Stars guard the vault.

Your plan changed.

Mine hasn't.

You appeal to his emotions,

you appeal to his ideals, you play the elder card,

you... Play the victim.

I don't believe we can't convince him.

Dongbin, there's something I should tell you.

Young people shouldn't stay up late.

You'll lose your hair.

And get dark circles.

Get some rest.

Good night.

Always loud and obnoxious,

but when it counts, he's a coward.

What about you! What "Good night!"

He's more stubborn than Zhang Guolao's donkey!

Waving that broken sword around!

If I was able to,

I'd have fought him already.

Being handsome isn't that special. I used to...

Shut your mouth!

Hey, aren't we on the same side?

If you're here to persuade me like them,

just leave.

I've made up my mind. The lamp...

you can take it.

Are you sure?

You'll get no money from the Three Stars,

and you can't take the vault's money.

That much money... I can't even carry it all.

But I can take a couple of gold bars, hide them on me.

The Stars probably won't notice.

Why are you doing this?

Master gave you this sword. That means

you are the finest disciple of Zhongnan Mountain.

Do you know how much I wanted to be in your position?

I'll give you this one.

You've wanted to know what the lamp looks like.

Come.

I'll tell you.

Actually, the lamp...

You...

Sorry, junior brother. You're out.

You...

You're not bad.

That's enough. Here.

How much did you use?

He won't wake up too soon, will he?

Relax. He won't even wake up tomorrow.

Good.

Delicious.

I'll drink to you.

Who is Han Zhongli?

Who are you?

None of your business.

Do you know who you--

Cao Xiangzi? Lan Guojiu?

Zhang Caihe? Han Guolao?

I have an understanding of each and every one of you.

Aren't you missing one-

Tieguai Li!

Ma'am, what do you want?

I want to take

the Jade Void Glazed Lamp.

Do you know whose table you're at?

Are you crazy?

I'll ask one last time. Who is Han Zhongli?

It's you?

I don't know who you're talking about,

but I think it's him.

So you're Han Zhongli!

Ma'am, I...

I'm not Han Zhongli!

Master! Tell her your name

Loud and clear!

Wait, wait!

You are none other than

Wu! Xin! Chang!

You are Wuxinchang?

Then who am I?

No, no! Great hero! If I said I was Han Zhongli,

is it too late?

Too late.

He Xiangu

Wuxinchang! Listen to me!

I'm sorry! I'm sorry, okay?!

I'm sorry! I'm really sorry!

You got lucky today.

Junior brother, you're in great shape.

I saw you just now...

Ow, ow, ow!

Xiangzi! I've told you many times

that in front of others, not to call me

wu...xinchang..

If I really wanted to drug you,

you wouldn't wake up until next year.

What are you acting for.

You taking that hit for me...

was probably just because I haven't told you

what the lamp looks like now, right?

Actually, at first,

when I found out you were that person,

I was a bit relieved.

We were actually fellow disciples.

Fellow disciples...

Even if you find the lamp,

you can never be an immortal again.

Once you make a mistake,

there's no going back.

I'm not doing it to get my job back.

Then what's your goal?

Saving the world.

You don't believe me?

I do.

You're a good man.

But...

saving the world...

...is pretty foolish.

Junior brother,

do you know why I was expelled from the sect?

After Xuanzang and his disciples journeyed west,

the Three Realms entered an era of peace.

To solidify that peace,

Tathagata gifted the Jade Vase of Guanyin to the Daoists,

and we at Zhongnan Mountain are to guard it.

It is the cornerstone of peace of the Three Realms.

This Jade Vase

symbolizes the righteousness of Zhongnan Mountain.

Remember our doctrine:

never mind loss or gain,

only recognize right and wrong.

Great Lord Lao, by your command!

Rain! It's raining!

By your command!

We are saved!

An immortal answered us!

Shh.

Immortal! Be an immortal! Happily play as an immortal!

Six months later,

Guanyin's divine dew was almost gone.

By your command!

Wasn't it said that the dew is inexhaustible?

Always abundant?

Old Donghua was careless. He never noticed...

...until that day.

I told you, this is the cornerstone of peace.

It was meant for something greater,

and you wasted it all...

...for a few villages at the foot of the mountain!

What were you thinking?

Master, I saw everything.

Senior brother would steal the vase every day

and pretend to be an immortal to swindle people!

You... Shut up!

Master, look at him!

Lying, stealing!

Is this what you learned at my Zhongnan Mountain?

Do you still have the nerve to be senior martial brother?

A souvenir is useless!

People down the mountain were dying! It was me who saved them!

Never mind loss or gain,

only right and wrong!

Is this not what you taught me?

You dare talk to me about right and wrong?

Is lying and stealing right? Did I teach you that?

Old man! Don't lecture me from your high horse!

If I hadn't stolen it,

would you have used the vase to bring rain?

Would you?!

Leave.

You don't understand anything.

Is that so?

Immortals like you, I don't want to be one!

What did you say?

I said

I'd rather walk a crooked path

than ever be a part of your hypocrisy!

Fine.

Steal,

lie.

I'll make sure you steal and lie

for the rest of your life!

You, Zhongli Quan,

will never hold office, do business,

nor attain enlightenment!

You will be a thief forever!

And forever be hunted like a rat in the streets!

I never believed in curses. I thought the old man...

...was just bluffing.

But I was wrong.

From that day on,

my life truly changed.

You, you, you, and you! Follow me!

Alright, we're full!

I fought against it.

No use.

But even so, I still don't think I did the wrong thing that year.

But fate still

had another joke in store for me.

Who is it?

Remember me?

Years ago, I came here to make rain.

Before that, this was all wasteland.

Even the big tree at the entrance was dying.

What do you want?

I haven't eaten in days. I...

Get lost!

Go, go! You think you're the Dragon King?

Making rain? This land is blessed.

When have we ever lacked rain?

Nutcase.

From that point on,

I was a thief.

Stealing ever since.

And that junior brother who betrayed me

rose steadily

and eventually became an immortal.

That's why, from that day on,

you started fearing rain?

Right.

I kept telling myself,

after this one last job, I'd never steal again.

I'm tired. It's meaningless.

Junior brother,

doing good or doing evil makes no difference.

The world isn't worth saving.

Those people don't represent the world.

What's your point?

Who will remember what you're doing?

I don't need that.

I only do what I believe is the right thing.

What is the right thing?

What you did that year...

...was the right thing.

Saving the world isn't foolish at all.

Where are you going with that sword?

In such a hurry? Aren't you going to eat?

Hot, hot!

What are you standing there for?

Zhongli Quan, why am I still the one getting you buns?

Get out of my way. I'm hungry and need to eat!

Nothing in it this time.

Lord of Fire, gift: ten elixir pills.

Lord of Radiance, gift: one peach pit.

See? That's something only immortals wear.

We're lucky to be here.

I'm never washing my hands again! What ambition!

Your check-in is not here. It's over there.

You two,

you follow me. Guard the back door.

You all put these on.

Who wants to wear that junk? What is it anyway?

It's a long-distance communicator.

Not only can you talk remotely,

but it also tracks your location.

With so many immortals, things can get chaotic.

We must get the lamp before Wuxinchang does.

And the money!

You never give up, do you?

A leopard can't change its spots. Hey!

The lamp is small, easy to take.

Without the tunnel, how do we get all that money out?

Don't forget, the place will be...

...full of immortals!

Maitreya has a treasure called the Universe Pouch.

It can hold anything. It's bottomless.

Old Li and Little Lan will steal the pouch to transport the money.

Got it.

Xiangzi will watch the venue from the second floor...

and direct everyone.

Received.

Old Cao will be lookout,

reporting security movements.

Got it.

Lü Dongbin and I will enter the vault...

and retrieve the lamp.

Old man, you're on backup. Wait for my signal.

Old man!

Zhang Guolao! Can you be serious? Honestly!

Do you have to be so loud?

Boss goes first. Code of the trade.

If you know where the vault is,

then lead the way.

I don't, but this does!

I'm telling you, junior brother,

this time it really is financial freedom!

Nobody's stopping me! Get rich!

Drink!

Now what?

Junior brother, take care.

This is called "Deceptive Swap."

I will definitely get the lamp back for you!

Have a seat! Those jerks

didn't even call me to the banquet!

I came myself.

Golden Shears!

Banana Leaf Fan is here too!

And the Wind-Fire Wheels!

So many!

Stop gawking. Focus.

You finished that drink fast!

What exactly did you reshape the lamp to look like?

To pass it off as real,

you need to know it perfectly.

Which treasure do you think I know perfectly?

The Jade Vase.

You're really something.

I don't know why, but I have a bad feeling.

It's going too smoothly.

Wuxinchang! You're not taking the lamp!

No need to fight. We want the same thing.

A traitor to the Three Realms and a lying cheat?

Would I trust you?

We can't beat the Purple-Gold Gourd!

Why run? I'll bet you

we definitely won't get sucked in today.

Are you crazy? That's...

Wuxinchang, go ahead.

Say my name.

No--you--

Han... Zhong... Li!

Dare you answer if I call your name?!

Yes!

Zhong Hanli?

Yes!

Gongsun Li?

Yes!

Zhong Wuyan?

Yes!

Gao Jianli?

Yes!

Han Lizhong? Zhongli Han?

Yes!

Han Liquan? Li Zhongquan? Quan Lizhong?

Zhongli Quan?

We're doomed! Stay calm! Lü Dongbin can beat her!

He can definitely beat her!

Lü Dongbin will figure something out! After all, he is...

How did you get in here?!

I don't want to talk about it.

Are you an idiot?

She called your name and you answered?!

You're one to talk! You did the same thing!

I did? Are you saying I'm the same?

Even if you two argue forever,

you're not getting out.

She called your name, Lü Dongbin!

How many times did it take?

The first time.

The first time!

With that brain of yours,

you're going to save the world?

Hearing my name was an accident!

You'll answer at any call?!

Where's Wuxinchang?

Let me out!

Get the money!

Now I can have meat every day!

Slap me!

Tell me this isn't a dream!

Slap me again!

I've never seen so much money in my life!

Even more than the Three Stars gave us!

Come to daddy!

There's even this kind of dirty stuff?

This is life-buying money. Don't take it!

No taking!

"Dou Niu Palace, Yunhua..."

What does that mean?

Yunhua of the Dou Niu palace?

That name sounds familiar.

The Third Princess of Heaven, Yunhua.

Didn't she die years ago?

Junior brother, we can't take the lamp!

Really, we can't! Trust me, we can still leave!

What now, Zhongli Quan?

What's going on?

Just tell us!

The Jade Void Glazed Lamp, Yunhua,

life-buying money...

Do you know just who would want these things...?

You fake immortals shouldn't try

to compete with real ones. I suggest you hurry and run.

What is Yang Jian trying to do?

Years ago, Yang Jian's mother, Yunhua,

broke the heavenly law and fell in love with a mortal named Yang Tianyou.

They had three children, including Yang Jian.

The Jade Emperor imprisoned her under Mount Tao.

Later, Yang Jian split the mountain to save his mother, but couldn't.

Because of the Emperor's punishment,

Yunhua is condemned to eternal damnation.

Her divine root is destroyed, her soul scattered.

Only a wisp of her spirit remains.

She is as good as dead.

Yang Jian also tried to save his mother?

Why does his family keep doing this?

So he spent all these years

waiting for the Heavenly Tribulation,

and stole the lamp, all to resurrect his mother.

But stealing the lamp won't bring her back, right?

Actually, it might.

When I was young, I read about an ancient dark art

in my uncle's library.

It mentioned a Soul Gathering Formation.

But it's been lost for ages.

If I remember correctly,

the seating arrangement of the immortals

is that same formation.

So he used the birthday banquet to gather them,

drain their power to activate the formation,

use the money as a medium

to drain mortal lifespans,

absorb them into the formation,

and the lamp as a vessel...

...to carry away all the souls. Then, he can finally

resurrect his mother.

That's nonsense!

Is that possible?

One in ten thousand chances.

Everything fits. We can't let him do this.

You think you few can stop Yang Jian?

Quiet, you.

Junior brother,

it's just us few. Can we stop Yang Jian?

If we do nothing, not just the Three Realms,

but even Penglai will fall.

Don't get involved! Let the immortals handle it!

No way!

What's happening? I don't know!

It's just us now. We have to take the lamp.

This... is fake! It's the Jade Vase. Not the lamp!

Your name is...

...Zhongli Quan.

His Third Eye

can see anything that has ever happened.

Zhongli Quan.

Your junior brother betrayed you,

got you expelled,

and you've been a thief ever since.

But that junior brother rose smoothly...

and became an immortal.

So what?

I know that.

But did you know

he eventually became the Lantern Keeper

of the Glazed Lamp?

It was you?

Is he telling the truth?

Yes.

So you've been lying to me all along?

At first, I didn't want to...

Master, no!

Leave.

Hurry! Run!

You turned my life into this.

How dare you show your face before me?

This place is collapsing! Go!

I trusted you so much.

It's raining money!

It's raining money! Grab it!

An immortal! Thank you, Immortal!

Don't pick up the money! Don't pick it up!

Don't pick it up! Don't pick it up!

Why is the money glowing?

We're doomed! Yang Jian activated the formation!

We need to do something!

Forget it!

Penglai is lost! We have to run!

Good thing we're in the cart.

Bro, I don't feel so good.

Old Li! What's wrong? Old Li!

Are you still being greedy?

Find the money!

Here! It's here!

Xiangzi, hurry and tear it up!

Don't touch it with your hands!

Use my pliers!

Still not torn?

No! The cart is too bumpy!

Watch out!

Good job!

I... Cao Guojiu! Help!

Someone help!

Oh no!

We're done for!

Quan-er.

We left Dongbin there. He'll die.

Look!

Zhongli Quan, look!

Zhongli Quan!

Where there is red clay,

there is the Pickpocket Immortal.

Ensuring peace and safety in all things!

Here, one for each!

Doggy!

Get down from the Immortal! I'm so sorry!

No problem!

Are we really just leaving?

Master.

It's too late. You'll die.

Giving up so soon?

How long are you planning to kneel?

I'm not here to help you.

Just to finish what should be done.

All these years,

I've smiled my way through a lot of wrong things.

But this time,

I'm going to do what I believe is right.

I might die.

Just another head on the chopping block.

Anyone with me?

Count me in.

Sister Wuxinchang!

Remember that rule for immortals?

All Wishes Come True.

Our temple has one last task to fulfill.

But we're not immortals.

We can either kneel and wait to die,

or stand up and become immortals.

What are we waiting for?

To cross the sea.

Then let's go!

There's no boat.

You know there's no boat?

Then why are you leading everyone into the sea?

Are you trying to drown?

You have a big mouth!

Always yapping! How about this:

you ride your gourd, I'll ride Old Cao.

He's round and buoyant. Everyone else, find a way!

I can't swim!

Ride me!

Yang Jian's ship is gone!

This is your fault, Zhongli Quan!

Your logic is flawed!

How is this my fault?

I was walking by the beach and saw him kneeling!

So I came!

You always do this!

Blame everything on me! What can I do?

I'm already...

What is this creature?

A heavenly horse.

It may be ugly, but--

Let's go! Move! Move! So slow!

Doesn't match the looks.

Its father was a heavenly horse released...

...by Sun Wukong during the havoc in Heaven.

It came to the mortal realm and mated

with a donkey, its mother.

We caught up!

That looks pretty high.

Let me!

Let me!

I want to try too!

No, forget it, don't try.

It doesn't have any major issues, except

its genes are a bit off.

In this state, it can only last for five minutes.

Oh, my goodness!

Old Zhang! Let go!

Get up! Put some effort into it!

Look! Isn't that our tunnel?

And my writing!

Junior brother, your route was correct.

How are you holding up, Old Li?

What do you think?

My leg is cramping!

Keep your voices down!

Hurry up!

This time, we need to steal not just the lamp,

but also the code in Yang Jian's mind.

Yang Jian is the God of War.

We can't get close to him. You saw before,

if he wanted, his Third Eye can see

anything that has ever happened.

That means our plan will always be known.

So the plan can't be spoken aloud. Once spoken,

it becomes something that happened.

So what? There are eight of us.

The Seven Great Sages combined couldn't beat him.

What makes you think having one more

gives us a chance?

He gave this to me while we were drinking.

Who?

Bro. Wherever you are, whatever you need,

just blow on this fur,

and I, Sun Wukong, will be there.

I'll answer your call.

Our next plan will be in one person's mind.

He decides how to use this fur.

I propose Dongbin.

I think Sister Wuxinchang should.

No, no.

Xiangzi, what about you?

You said you were the strategist.

When did I say that? It can't be me. Maybe you...

I trust you.

You decide.

Yang Jian!

Come out! Yang Jian!

Yang Jian, Even if you use the lamp,

your mother won't come back to life.

The chance of resurrecting an immortal

by trading lifespans is less than one in ten thousand.

To save your own mother,

you'd sacrifice countless other mothers.

That's too selfish!

Who exactly

are you people?

We...

Enough talk!

Use the trump card!

Yang Jian! We can't beat you, but someone can!

Is that so?

Take a look at this!

One blow on this fur, and the one you fear most...

...will appear instantly!

Master! Get him!

Destroy him!

Yang Jian!

You're done for!

Wasn't the Great Sage supposed to appear on a rainbow cloud?

Look at that cloud. Hasn't it been

there the whole time?

Guys,

did we forget something?

I'll be there in a flash.

Be there.

Run!

Everyone, split up!

Are you okay?

Watch out!

Zhongli Quan! This was your plan?

We wasted our only trump card!

What do we do now?

What else? We fight Yang Jian head-on

and take back the lamp!

Head-on?

We can't even beat his dog!

Even if we can't take the lamp,

we can't let him use it.

We have to stall him somehow.

Three-Eyes!

Where are you looking?

We're right here!

Brothers! Go!

Yellow Cloud Cover!

Old Li! Push the Boat!

Plow the Field!

Tai Gong Casts the Line! Sweep the Army!

My turn!

Go!

I'll try! Here I come!

Truly invulnerable.

Brothers, use your treasures!

You're kidding! Blow sideways!

Don't run towards me!

The Purple-Gold Gourd's passive is truly passive.

Who would be dumb enough to answer when called?

So how does this work?

Oh, these Yin-Yang Plates...

So, how does it work?

Turn, turn, turn!

Have a taste of this!

Doing okay?

Go!

Your turn!

Sister Wuxinchang! Are you okay?

Junior brother!

I forgot...

mortals bleed.

Lose too much blood,

and you die.

So why exactly did you trash

come here just to die?

Yes.

It's because we bleed, that we can also feel pain, fear, despair.

And we also feel empathy.

But you don't even bleed.

You're worth even less than trash.

You'll die for that.

Little Lan!

Old Cao! Catch!

Three-Eyes, look here!

Root to the Ground! Moon Gaze!

Old Cao, put some muscle into it!

Okay, okay, I know!

One-Legged Kick!

Immortals aren't so special!

You really think you're something?

But we fooled you.

Xiangzi!

Interesting!

I underestimated you.

We did it!

He's a steamed bun now.

Three-Eyes, what's the code? Tell us.

What's wrong? No response?

Little Lan!

Old Li!

Run!

Everyone, go!

Master, save me!

Zhongli Quan!

Zhongli Quan!

Go!

Isn't there a rule for immortals

called All Wishes Come True?

You want to know the code?

Even if we can't take the lamp,

we can't let him use it.

We have to stall him.

Actually, we don't have to.

Look over there.

Is that... the Great Sage Equaling Heaven Sun Wukong?!

His fur.

Move!

Move, move!

Even without the boss,

we're still enough to win against Three-Eyes!

No fighting to win! What we need is the code in his head.

Fine. We'll follow your lead.

The highest form of deception...

...is to fool the heavens.

What is fooling the heavens?

Truth and lies, reality and illusion,

are yours alone to define.

The truth is yours alone.

The whole world is kept in the dark.

Make it convincing.

You be convincing!

Zhongli Quan! Zhongli Quan!

Go!

You want to know the code?

Come, I'll tell you.

Mother.

You haven't improved after all these years.

Still can't tell?

It's you.

Yes, it's me.

Why is it always me?

Three-Eyes!

Do you really want to make an enemy of all Three Realms?

Stole the lamp, swindled the Three Stars,

and offended Yang Jian.

Looks like we're in trouble.

The Heavenly Court will hunt us down.

But Master,

we did this for nothing, no fame, no reward.

But to still be hunted? What's the point?

Because we're fools.

Saving the world...

...isn't foolish at all.

Actually, I think it's pretty cool.

Right?

We don't have much time left.

Let's see who gets caught first!

Everyone,

farewell!

Wait!

Sister Wuxinchang!

Can I have your autograph?

Nobody has ever seen Wuxinchang.

As long as you do what's right,

anyone can be Wuxinchang.

Got it.

Master, farewell!

Brothers, see you around.

See you next time.

See you.

Why are you giving me this?

Actually, this sword was never meant for me.

Zhongnan Mountain's finest disciple is you.

No, you--

What do you mean?

Master.

Forget it. The curse, just leave it.

Don't worry about me.

Master, really, forget it.

I'm doing fine as I am.

Stubborn old man.

I don't know who you take after.

Leaving papers everywhere.

Messy. Not a single person to clean up.

Lü...

How many times do I have to teach you?

You still can't remember?

Add one stroke to the character for "mouth" （口）

it's "say" (曰) not "sun" (日)

The character "chang" (昌） without its heart

becomes "lü" （吕）

The highest form of deception is to fool the heavens.

Nobody has ever seen Wuxinchang.

Where did Wuxinchang

steal the Heavenly Lord's Pearl?

Mount Qingcheng.

Truth and lies, reality and illusion,

are yours alone to define.

Could you be Wuxinchang?

Where are you looking? I am Wu Xinchang!

The truth is yours alone.

He is Wuxinchang!

Your plan changed.

Mine hasn't.

The whole world is kept in the dark.

Master!

Master, what's going on? Why is there

why is there Lü Dongbin's name?

Didn't he tell you?

Tell me what?

The curse of a lifetime as a thief...

I have only ever cast it on two people.

You, and Dongbin.

Lü Dongbin? But isn't he's an immortal?

The Lantern Keeper who lost the lamp?

He can never become an immortal in his lifetime.

Much less the Lantern Keeper.

He is that child you saved back then.

The child I saved?

Scram!

Shh.

Immortal! Be an immortal! Happily play as an immortal!

Listen up!

From today on, you little rascals...

...are all my junior brothers! You all listen to me!

Get lost!

Leave Zhongnan Mountain!

Master!

Senior brother was not wrong.

You're too young. You wouldn't understand.

Senior brother

was not wrong!

You came to my Zhongnan Mountain

to become an immortal. Get up.

I... don't want to be an immortal.

What did you say?

I don't want to be an immortal.

Then what do you want?

What do you think my Zhongnan Mountain is?

I want to be

I want to be someone like Zhongli Quan!

Then you'll be the same as him!

The results are out!

You failed again!

How many times is this?

Don't sit in front of my shop! You bring bad luck!

Get lost!

It's that thief again! After him!

Get him! Beat him! Run! We got food!

You stole! Thief!

Run!

Have you no shame?

It's raining money! Grab it!

Wuxinchang!

Master!

This is Lantern Keeper Liang Ji. He was the one

who sold out Zhongli Quan.

Now he has sold the lamp for his own gain,

bringing calamity to the Three Realms.

This is the disciple you taught.

Why did you bring him here?

I need to borrow his identity to do something.

Until it's done,

please watch over him for me.

The Guardian Deity is hunted like a rat.

Why take on that burden?

I have countless ways to get the lamp back.

But only this way can I save Zhongli Quan.

I will save the world,

and I will save Zhongli Quan.

It's too late. Nobody can save him now.

What exactly is the point to doing all this?

I'm just returning

what he once gave me.

Putting that curse on you back then was my mistake.

Fortunately, it never imprisoned your heart.

Go bring him back.

If he asks,

tell him it was from me.

Only the finest disciple of Zhongnan Mountain

is worthy of this sword.

Where did you get it?

Master gave it to me.

I'm four classes below you.

Besides the Three Stars, there is one other person

who knows the vault's location.

Who?

The Guardian Deity.

Where did you hear all this?

What's your point?

What are you doing this for? Who will remember?

I don't need that.

I only do what I believe is the right thing.

What is the right thing?

What you did back then

was the right thing.

You sure can run.

Didn't even get to say...

thank you.

All Wishes Come True

That troublesome nephew of mine has disgraced

the dignity of the immortals.

Indeed. He was exposed by eight mortals.

Just eight of them. So the identity of these eight

cannot be mortal.

The people need to know

that such good deeds

were done by our Heavenly Court's immortals.

Grant them celestial rank.

Call them...

The Eight Immortals.

Isn't that too generous for them?

Some things,

they can do better than we can.

Understood.

Now that it's come to this,

I will have to imprison my nephew.

But the position of God of War...

...cannot remain empty.

From this day forward

You,

will be Yang Jian.