Original subtitles

I would not trust Sameer to tie his own shoelaces,

let alone get Omar circumcised.

When are your tradies getting here? They're not. I work alone.

(LAUGHS)

MAN: It's just like a Muslim monthly hang,

we find a project, it's a laugh.

How do I repel Muslim men?

We are breaking down your walls.

Yeah, cool metaphor.

(CRACKING)

This is great! I love your cult of uncles.

Whatever happened between our families is in the past.

I'm excited, you know, to be...

..to be locked into fatherhood, to circumcise him.

I'm just here for a circumcision for the baby, not for me.

I'm already... You the father?

Uh, technically. Technically?

Never heard that before!

You either are or you aren't.

I couldn't do it. He's yours.

MAN: I knew you would cluck this up! (CLUCKS LIKE A CHICKEN)

WOMAN: (ON HEADPHONES) Her husband vanished on a Tuesday,

and by Wednesday she was back on Tinder.

(BANGING AT DOOR)

Police! Pull your pants up and put your hands where I can see 'em!

Donna! Go away!

Let me fall asleep to some gruesome true crime.

Close the curtains!

We need to talk.

Talk? Talk about getting locks on the door?

You think I was born yesterday?

If you were, I hope it was a C-section for her sake.

Sameer, look around.

You haven't been eating, you're up strange hours,

you sleep half the day.

Face it, you're depressed.

How many times do I need to tell you?

It's Ramadan!

I don't know who she is,

but she can have the other two-day-old croissant.

Have you watched SBS ever?

(MUSIC PLAYS)

Come on, everyone's worried about you.

I can't go to the mosque today, Donna.

Now's like the Super Bowl of Islam. Everyone will be there.

When you say "everyone", do you mean your ex-wife

and your newborn child that you're desperately avoiding?

No. There's something literally wrong with me.

Hey, some people are allergic to nuts.

You're allergic to commitment and being a present dad.

There's no shame in that.

But you've done the noble thing - you've cut and run.

Hm. I'm not fit to be in public. Trust me, OK?

I'm doing Ramadan alone here.

Fine. I'll come to Ramadan.

You can't come to Ramadan.

Ramadan's a month. OK. And it's hard.

You can't eat or drink from sunrise to sunset.

Not even...? Not even water, no.

And no sexy stuff.

Damn! Mm.

OK. When do we start? We're 28 days in.

You couldn't even do one. Want to bet?

Betting's Haram.

WOMAN: Depressed, are you?

That was a pretty good impression of my mum.

It's actually more like...

(IMITATES MUM) .."Sameer, you never call me.

"You came from my womb. Couldn't even be a real doctor.

"Oh, no..."

Mum, what are you doing here?!

Sameer, you know, there is a very ancient Sri Lankan remedy

for curing depression.

Hm.

It's called get the bloody hell over it, you little bitch!

Get up! Get up! Get up!

Ow! Mum! Get out of bed.

Get dressed and get in the car.

You too! Yes, Auntie.

This is the last time you're using depression

to get out of responsibilities.

You're supposed to be looking after me at my age.

These windows are amazing. Are they holy?

What do you call them? Uh, double-glazed.

Oh.

This looks super Muslim-y.

You two, be on your best behaviour.

These are holy days.

Allah is watching...

..and so am I, got it?

Yes, Auntie. Mm.

Hey, keep an eye out for Aaleyah, OK?

I just have no idea what to say to her.

How about, "Whoops"? (CHUCKLES)

Hey, look. Front and centre. And your dad.

People must really love him. Yeah.

I mean, there's this tile and everything,

but no-one ever mentions him since he fled.

Fled? Yeah, he was targeted by a gang.

Things got really dangerous.

And then he had to go to Sri Lanka to keep us safe.

What a hero. What happened to you?

(CHUCKLES)

Hey, if I go in here, will I be Muslim forever?

Oh, yeah. Once you're in, you're in, right?

The paperwork gets sent straight to Allah.

You'll start growing a hijab within 48 hours.

No, but seriously, you're new blood,

the aunties, they're going to smell that.

They're going to swarm. I'm warning you.

You're talking to a 50-year-old lesbian.

I've done my fair share of converting.

They're not going to catch me.

Oh, Sameer, you've brought your special friend.

Yeah, I did. It's actually her first time in a mosque.

Such a beautiful face!

What beautiful skin you have!

This? Ah, it's nothing.

It's just a seven-step hyaluronic acid routine before bed.

(WOMEN EXCLAIM)

I've got samples I can show you.

Salaam, sister Donna.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

Alright, ladies, second to last day of Ramadan.

This is not just cooking.

This is a blessing to serve the people.

Yusra and Lina, you're on warak enab.

Maryam and Fatme... Where's Fatme? Late again?

Sorry, sorry. What happened this time?

Your cat died, or your dog?

You guys on biryani.

Sadiah and Husna,

you two, samosas.

They're always a hit.

Us together?

There must be some mistake.

Do I look like I make mistakes?

No. Get a move on, you two.

Move.

(PHONE CHIMES) Whitney to Donna, where are you?

I'm looking for you, my Kevin Costner.

Aaleyah. Crap!

Hello.

I mean, hey. Hey. I'm fasting,

so you've actually caught me at my most patient.

Can't eat, drink or verbally destroy you.

(CHUCKLES) (OMAR GURGLES)

How's HE doing?

Oh, he's definitely not fasting

or being parented by his dad.

What if I figured out how to change?

Some people stop being lactose intolerant.

Oh, so, let's blame cheese now.

SHEIKH: Zakat al-Fitr.

Sameer, have you paid your Zakat?

No, not yet.

It's the last day to help

our poor brothers and sisters celebrate Eid too.

How much is it?

For you, wife and child.

Ex-wife.

Yalla, sorry. Of course.

So, Islamically, do I need to pay for all three of us?

Or is it just me? Or is it just me and Omar?

Or is it...? Do we split it three ways?

(CARD READER BEEPS) Ramadan Mubarak.

Uh...

I'll pay her back.

Hey, Sadiah.

Sister, I have finished the potatoes.

Here.

More blessings for you.

So quiet over here.

Where am I? At home with my husband?

It's interesting that we have been put together.

Wow, you lifted that very easily. Mashallah.

It's like you have been going to the gym.

Of course.

Going to the gym keeps my mind from getting old

and stale.

Speaking of potatoes, how is your couch potato, Sameer?

Slacking off from fatherhood, just like his father.

My couch potato is very busy saving lives.

That's his actual job, you know? Oh, yes.

Oh, yes, yes. Paramedic. You must be so proud.

It's a pity he did not get the marks to be a...

..real doctor.

And he's here, where Omar is.

Unlike his father, who disappeared off to Sri Lanka.

Is there something you want to say to me?

That's it. Hooray! Better out than in.

Bismillah! Just be careful with that knife.

Bro, we're in a drought.

Yeah, but it's Melbourne.

It rains every second day.

Not in the mosque, it doesn't.

Looks like someone unplugged you.

I'm fasting, bro.

I'm on low-battery mode.

Use soap. The smell of your feet is breaking my fast.

Well, well, well, if it isn't Sameer's work wife.

Yeah, I think I outrank you now.

Do you know that work wife actually gets custody

of his emotional immaturity?

Well, he did make me two-minute noodles in three minutes last night.

You jealous?

How's your Ramadan been?

I've liked all of the sweat from my arms,

but I'm not going to break fast.

How's your Ramadan going?

Uh, usually, Ramadan clears up everything,

but this year, it's just...scrambled everything.

Like Scrambled eggs. Yeah.

I just wanted things calmer.

I wanted a village to raise Omar.

Usually when people say, "It takes a village,"

it's because they've never lived in one.

Villages are filled with idiots.

You're doing great, kid. You're doing what none of us are doing.

You're looking after your family.

Alhamdulillah.

Hmm?

This pamphlet is really helpful.

(PHONE CHIMES) OK.

I have to go. I'm meeting...

..Ahmed.

Bro looks sadder than lamb on Eid.

Rarely, you get to watch a man's life fall apart in real time.

But I've cleared my schedule.

It must be a tough schedule to clear.

Did you have to postpone your wank?

Bro?

Don't feel bad about being an absent father.

Kids are resilient.

I watched a news story about this child

who went missing for years in the woods.

What? Yeah.

He survived eating only wolf food.

He even befriended a panther, and then he met a bear called Baloo.

Bro, that's the plot of The Jungle Book.

Exactly.

They even made a movie out of it.

Sameer can't help being a flake.

Like father, like son.

He's probably just as dodgy too.

Dodgy?

SHEIKH: My son.

A quick word.

My son, you are depressed.

You know, there is a cure.

To just get over it, you little bitch?

What? No!

The Quran. Ah.

And you also need therapy.

Big time.

Bismillah,

the Quran says Allah does not change the condition of a people

until they change what is within themselves.

Eh?

Uh...

Let me show you. OK.

Tell me, Sameer...

..what do you see?

Uh...is that the...? Halulk!

(CHUCKLES) Messages from Allah come

in many different formats. Yeah.

Read.

"Halulk wants smash,

"but first must accept what came before.

"Bismillah. Boom!"

So strong, so wise. Yeah.

Sameer,

some answers we seek live just behind us.

Oh, you were being metaphorical.

Aren't you supposed to be in the kitchen, Mum?

Excuse me, Sameer.

What are you looking at?

Well, I don't know anything about Dad.

I just have this photo of him.

What does your father have to do with anything, Sameer?

He's at least half of my DNA.

And the Halulk says I need to accept what came before.

But I don't even know what that is.

That's why I have so much trouble being a dad.

It's not rocket science, Sameer.

Just be a bloody father!

Well, what's the name of the gang, huh?

The one that forced him to leave us. Just leave it.

The world he operated in was very dangerous,

full of hardened criminals,

whereas you still cry every time you watch Bambi.

So? It's a moving story.

Why are you so scared?

I'm not a boy any more.

They can't hurt us. I know jiu jitsu now.

You dropped out at white belt.

I had two stripes.

If you ever get into trouble,

get Donna to take care of them.

She doesn't even have any stripes.

Assalamu alaikum.

Ah, wa alaikum salam.

Hello, Beti.

How is your mum's shoulder? It's OK. It's getting better.

Oh, you've got something...

I saw you both at the gym.

I don't respect you. No way.

That's exactly how I feel about you.

It's like you get joy out of watching my best mate fall apart.

That's a nasty trait, man.

What was that comment you made about Sameer's dad?

It's Ramadan.

It's not about you or me.

It's about helping others.

Gangster thing?

It didn't happen. It's just a dumb story his mum made up.

You're calling Auntie Husna a liar?

Think about it. Have you ever heard of a Sri Lankan gangster?

Gandhi. Not Sri Lankan.

And notoriously non-violent.

Gronk.

(BIKE BELL RINGS) Salaam.

Piss off, mate.

Oh, yeah! Long time, no see. WOMAN: Donna?

Oh.

Natasha.

What an absolute nightmare.

You look...

..unexpected. Is that a hijab?

Oh, it...it's a phase.

Why are you in this neighbourhood?

I'm on my way to see someone.

Mmm. It's Rachel.

The dragon? Yes, we're dating.

And she hates that nickname.

How is she doing, anyway?

Still got terrible morning breath?

Silent reflux is a serious ailment.

My only wish for her is that her oesophagus sphincter

was as clenched as her anal one.

She's great.

Which you would know

because you deep liked one of her posts.

Uh, I was hacked.

Oh, just admit it!

You want to see Alex.

Alex?

Your daughter.

Anyway, great to see you.

Enjoy your double cheeseburger on me.

Assalamu alaikum.

Asshole.

(CALL TO PRAYER)

(INDISTINCT HUSHED CHATTER)

(PHONE CHIMES)

SAMEER: (OVER TEXT) You can eat now. (OVER TEXT) I know.

I have eyes. Not hungry.

You cheated. I knew you would.

Watch your mouth, or you'll be eating my washed foot for iftar.

I'm just thinking.

About what? Me?

Miss me?

As if!

This whole 'seeking forgiveness' thing.

How long did it take for you to get it?

I don't think I have.

Mmm-mmm.

The samosas are lava.

Hey, don't eat the samosas.

Give them a good two to three hours.

SHEIKH: Ramadan is a mirror.

If you saw something in yourself this month

that made you feel uncomfortable,

if you asked for forgiveness

but did not forgive yourself, start there.

Allah is not looking for perfection.

He is looking for honesty.

This is your chance.

Take action.

You know you're starting to piss me off.

I'm starting to piss YOU off?

I've been there for every different version of you.

But when shit gets real, you don't get to disappear into your head

and call it trauma, or whatever smart word you've learnt this week.

No-one gets it.

No-one?

You keep talking like you've got no-one.

Like you're floating through space in some sad hoodie.

Look around you, man.

You've got a mum who raised you solo.

Uncles galore.

An ex-wife doing her best not to shut you out of your son's life.

And Omar's like my blood nephew.

You stuff this up,

you're not just going to be hurting him.

Life advice from Captain Centrelink.

I might not have a fancy job.

You don't have a job. I dropped out of school.

I never got married.

But I don't disappear on family.

And stop obsessing about some stupid gang.

Whether it's true or not, who cares?

"Whether it's true or not"?

Your mum did her best.

Hey.

Thanks to Reddit, I found the gang my dad was in.

They messed with my dad,

now I'm all messed up,

so now I'm gonna mess with them.

Ooh, you're pretty when you're crazy.

Sameer, you really want to do this...

..you need someone who knows their world.

Like who?

Me, Sameer. Oh.

Let's go.

Oh! I need to find my shoes.

Mum, can we please talk?

Look, I'm really sorry for hurting you, OK?

Perhaps you could explain to my daughter that I am busy.

Since you two have such open communication.

Really? Mum, I'm just trying to apologise.

Forget it, Aaleyah.

They said I couldn't do it, and they were right!

My mission to end this feud has failed.

I'm from Lebanon.

I thought that the Middle East was bad.

But this is worse than the Middle East.

You've been doing this to me for 30 years, and I'm sick of it.

And you, sister, have been a pain in the neck for 30 years,

and I am sick of it. (GROANS)

Aaleyah, come with me, aunty.

There is no getting through to you, is there, Sadiah?

You made my life hell.

You make me feel isolated in my own community.

And now look at you.

Your own daughter is a single mother, just like me.

You're doing the exact same thing to her.

This doesn't look like a gang headquarters.

Oh, that's what they want you to think.

When I first met your father, before I was a sheikh,

there was no mosque in this area then.

So where did you guys pray?

Here. All 65 of us.

We rented this hall by the hour.

Some nights, we shared the hall with bingo.

Your father hated that.

He hated bingo? (CHUCKLES)

But it's such a fun game.

It was his idea to have our own mosque.

A real one.

I never knew that.

A mosque isn't just some building.

It made us a community...

..thanks to your father.

So why isn't everyone singing his praises?

Yeah, some people find it hard to forgive.

Forgive what?

Ah, because he was in a gang.

Are you serious, Sameer?

Look around.

Why would I bring you to an old hall if there was a gang?

You watch too many movies, Sameer. What is this? West Side Story?

Ooh!

What was that?

You smash one more shit serve, and I'm gonna give you a wedgie,

so tight you'll taste the elastic for a week!

Donna, what the hell are you doing?

Uh...

I'm hangry. Hangry?

I wasn't built for this fasting stuff.

You can't just threaten kids and then blame Ramadan.

We're in the news enough as it is!

And it was the other one that was a little shit.

You watch your mouth.

She's not a little shit. She's MY little shit.

YOUR little shit?

Maybe you are hangry.

I told you you couldn't handle fasting.

That's my kid, Sameer.

My kid.

What do you want, you paedos?

Holy crap!

That IS your kid.

How can you not tell me you have a whole damn child?

Sorry I don't bring all my emotional baggage to work.

Baggage?

You give me parenting advice literally every d...

So, this is why you're always telling me

I can't hack it as a dad, and that,

"Oh, you should just walk away, Sameer."

Because that's exactly what you did. No.

I said "if".

If you can't hack it, you should leave.

At least I knew I don't have the stuff to be a good parent,

so I left her before I could mess her up.

And you'd do the same if you had any guts.

WOMAN: (OVER RADIO) He was an untraceable hit man...

(KNOCK AT WINDOW) ..until his smartwatch

congratulated him on burying the body.

Assalamu alaikum, Sameer. Assalamu, uncle.

You know, it feels strange

yelling at the cricket without you.

Yeah. Me, too.

(CHUCKLES)

So you knew my dad?

And you knew there was no gang? Mm-hm.

And when he left,

so did my best friend.

What, my dad left with your best friend?

No.

Your father was my best friend.

Oh. Same guy.

OK. Yeah. OK. You understand?

Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

So, why did he leave?

When we raised money for the mosque,

everyone gave what they had -

not spare money.

Life savings.

I don't know what possessed him.

He took the money.

I lost my best friend, Sameer.

I don't want to lose a son, too.

There are a few minutes left of Ramadan.

The month of forgiveness.

(CALL TO PRAYER)

Salaam.

Eid Mubarak.

Here, break your fast.

I know about Dad. I know about the money.

OK.

Why would you lie to me my whole life?

Making up some bullcrap story,

which, by the way, I know is the plot of Scarface.

It's Goodfellas, actually.

No wonder I feel all this inside me about Omar.

Because I'm him, I'm Dad.

It's my DNA.

What do you want from me, Sameer?

I mean, I wanted the truth, but it's too late for that now.

Everyone knows you can't handle the truth.

That's true.

I can't handle the truth? Huh?

Can't I? Can't I?

What the hell is this? This is a big up yours

to everyone who said I couldn't do Ramadan.

I was the only one that said you couldn't do Ramadan.

Well, then, up yours. Eid Mubarak, my friend.

Yeah, well, congratulations on beating me.

What are you doing? Huh?

I'm finding answers, Donna. Duh!

Uh...you are spiralling, my friend.

"Oh, Sameer, stop running away from your problems."

Well, I'm flying towards them,

internationally, to Sri Lanka to find my dad.

You just put a chicken drumstick in your backpack.

Not every country has strict biosecurity laws, Donna.

OK, but at least cling wrap it.

You just raw-dogged a chicken drumstick into your bag.

Oh, my God, you're so obsessed with the freaking chicken.

I'll declare it, OK?

It's not like I'm smuggling a freaking penguin.

Take me to the airport. Excuse me?

I'll book the ticket on the way. Let's go.

I'm hungry. I'll bring the dates.

How much baggage are you carrying? Like, a lifetime.

Are you in Sri Lanka? This boy has lost his daddy.

Everyone's got a moustache, Mum. Even the kids.

Your accent screams, "Charge this guy double."

(IN SRI LANKAN ACCENT) What accent are you referring to, Donna?

Hey, I saw that.

You ready to bash your dad?

Saddle up, Julia Roberts.

You're my pretty woman now!

Captions by Red Bee Media

Copyright Australian Broadcasting Corporation