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I might just wait till it comes on streaming.

I actually don't really like going to the cinema.

How come?

I just, I like to pause and stuff.

And I don't like all the people.

That's the best bit.

What? - Like, you know,

watching it with other people, it enhances everything.

Yeah, but there's always someone talking

or someone eating too loud,

or just someone who smells or something.

Yeah, I'll give you that to be fair.

Like, if I'm watching something on my phone or my laptop,

I don't have to worry about that.

On your phone?

Yeah.

Disgraceful.

Why?

No, I'm only joking.

Don't worry. - No, what do you mean?

I don't get it.

Nah, it's alright. I'm just chatting shit.

Okay.

Hey, thanks for getting back to my message.

But, yeah, I basically just wanted to tell you

that I might actually visit Kalocsa

during my location scout.

Oh, that's super nice of you to let me crash

at your parents' place while they're away.

I really appreciate that.

I just left, I'll let you know when I arrive. See you soon.

Am I saying it right,

Hi.

Hey, how you doing?

I'm good. How are you?

I'm good, I'm good.

Where did you come from?

My flat.

Oh. - I just moved out of here.

Oh, I thought you still lived here.

No, you've got the place to yourself.

Nice.

Should we go in?

Yeah, yeah, let's do it.

So where did you stay in Budapest then?

Oh, just some Airbnb near Central, near the Danube.

Congrats on the feature by the way.

You saw it? - Yeah.

What did you think?

Yeah, I liked it. It was really nicely shot.

Thanks.

Do you want a drink or anything?

Is there any pálinka?

Yeah, there probably is, you know.

No, I'm only joking. Don't worry.

Might be juice if you want?

No, I'm all good, honestly.

I'm just gonna pop to the loo though. It's this one, yeah?

Yeah. - Cool.

So what time did you wanna meet up later then?

When do you finish work?

I'm not working today, I got it off.

Oh.

Did I not tell you?

No, I don't think so.

Oh, shit. Sorry.

But, yeah, I thought I might as well

just join you on the scout.

Okay.

Is that all right? - Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That'd be wicked, please do. - Yeah?

Okay.

You can be my like my tour guide or something.

Yeah, no, exactly.

So where do you wanna go first then?

What are you actually scouting for?

Oh, just anything that looks like

it could be from the 16th century basically.

No, but like, what film are you making?

Because you haven't actually told me.

Oh, right.

All you said was that it has to do

with Elizabeth Báthory.

Yeah, well obviously you know she was accused

of killing hundreds of young women in Hungary.

And in gruesome ways too, like bathing in the blood

of the virgins that she killed and shit like that.

Mm, they say she was one of the inspirations for Dracula.

Yeah, right.

But on the other hand, some historians argue

that she didn't actually kill all those people.

They say the whole thing was a witch hunt

instigated by her fellow nobles

who wanted to take everything that she owned.

That sounds more likely, doesn't it?

Yeah, and yet all the suspicious deaths

and disappearances did happen.

Go on.

Okay, so in my film,

there'd be this nobleman who's secretly a vampire.

And he's the one who's actually been killing

all these young women.

Now, when things heat up and people start getting suspicious

of this vampire, he has to kind of shift the suspicion

away from himself onto someone else.

Elizabeth?

Exactly.

Nice, I like it.

Yeah?

Yeah, it sounds interesting.

So you're basically taking a gap in history

and then just filling it with your own fictional storyline.

Yeah, pretty much.

Can I be in it?

We've only got development funding at the moment.

So there's no guarantee it's actually

gonna get made. - Oh, making excuses already.

No, I just mean like we don't know

if it's gonna get made, - No, it's fine. I'm joking.

It's funny.

When I was here last time, I remember being super anxious

that everyone was gonna be staring at me

or giving me weird looks, but it was the complete opposite.

It felt like no one even noticed me.

It was kind of embarrassing actually.

What do you mean? Why is that embarrassing?

Well, it being a small town,

I just assumed there'd be some kind of racism.

And I don't mean people like shouting at me

in the street or whatever,

but just the kind of unwelcoming glances that you might get

if you look like an outsider.

The kind of thing you get

in certain places in England, actually.

But, yeah, there was literally none of that.

No one even took a second look at me.

Well, believe it or not, we do have the internet here.

So they would've seen someone who looks like you before.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know.

To be fair, I was more worried about your family.

I was at least 10% sure it would be a 'Get Out' situation.

But then obviously I met your family,

and they were all super lovely.

Everyone I met here was lovely.

So I just felt embarrassed

that I'd even had that initial thought, you know?

Well, you're not that unjustified

'cause didn't you once say the Hungarian football fans

got banned for being racist

to the England players or something?

Yeah, yeah. - Well there you go.

Yeah, but that's just the hooligans.

Every country has them.

Maybe it'd be different if I was dark skinned.

Have you ever actually seen a black person in Kalocsa?

Once actually.

Really? What were they doing?

Walking down the street.

Sorry, a lot of the stuff around here

looks like it could be quite good.

It's not surprising.

It's one of the oldest towns in Hungary.

Really? - Mm-hm.

That's cool.

Do you know everyone in Kalocsa?

Well, it's a small town, isn't it?

Yeah, but I don't remember it being like this

last time, you knowing everyone.

Well, maybe 'cause I hadn't lived here in like 15 years.

Yeah, fair.

We didn't really walk around much either, did we?

I didn't get the grand tour.

It's fine, you're getting it now.

That's actually my old school.

This one? - Mm.

It looks nice.

Yeah, it was alright.

Wait, why is there barbed wire on that bit?

That's not my school. That's the prison next to my school.

Why is there a prison next to your school?

It's a women's prison.

Does that make it any less crazy?

No, I'm just saying.

Funnily enough, there was an incident one time

where someone broke out of the prison

by climbing into the attic of our school.

But they got her before she could kill anyone.

What, was she a fucking serial killer or something?

No. I mean, I don't know.

That's obviously what we said at the time,

that she was some like high profile killer,

Elizabeth Báthory reborn.

But she might have just been in there for tax evasion.

Right.

Still, it might make a good prison-break movie.

Might do.

You should be taking notes.

You're in a better position to write than me.

No, I don't write scripts, just poems.

What? Since when do you write poems?

Let's hear one then.

No. - Why not?

Well, for one, it's not the right setting.

What's the right setting?

I don't know, but not this.

Alright, whatever. I can wait.

You'll be waiting a long time.

I think I should play Elizabeth.

Oh, yeah?

Mm. I think I'd make a good Elizabeth.

Maybe. - Look how menacing I look.

I could definitely play a gothic serial killer

who bathes in blood.

You're welcome to audition. Come by the casting couch.

Okay, it's like that, is it?

I would've thought I did my time already.

All right, go on then. What was it?

Much Ado About Nothing.

No.

Midsummer Night's Dream?

No.

Macbeth?

No, definitely not.

I'm just naming all the ones I know at this point.

No, you definitely know this one.

Oh, is it Romeo and Juliet or something?

Yes.

I was in the right ballpark.

Macbeth?

Before that.

Did you not hear me say Romeo?

Somehow it got lost in the thick Hungarian jargon.

Oi.

Could have been avoided if you tried to learn Hungarian.

I am trying.

You mean you did try?

Yeah.

Did you? Didn't even do Duolingo.

See?

I don't think it would've helped

with Hungarian Shakespeare.

Yeah, probably not.

I feel like I made a decent effort last time,

got the basics down and that.

Mm, no you did. Do you remember any of it?

Okay, that works.

All right, I'm impressed.

Thanks.

You got any other plays coming up,

or like film and TV stuff?

What, in the thriving industry of Kalocsa?

No, in like Budapest obviously.

Mm. No, I've got nothing lined up.

But I haven't really been trying, to be honest.

How come?

I'm just not sure I wanna put myself

through all that anymore.

It's kind of why I left London.

Maybe I should have never moved there in the first place,

and just came back here when my parents did.

It would've saved me six years of rejection.

Wouldn't have met me though.

Might not have been such a bad thing.

Sorry.

No, you're alright.

I do feel like it takes a long time to find success

in this industry though.

Like, the people who make it are the ones

who just kind of hang on in there.

And one day you look around and everyone else has given up,

so you become the winner by default.

Yeah, but how long does that take?

'Cause I know actors in their 50s who are still working

in the service industries, just holding out for a big break.

I'm just not sure I'm suited to that

insecure way of living anymore.

I thought I was, but as I've gotten older,

my priorities have started to change.

Yeah, well, I guess if the passion isn't there anymore,

you can't really force it.

No, but like the passion is still there.

Like, I do wanna be an actor.

That's why I did that Romeo and Juliet show,

even though it was unpaid.

It kind of sums it up really.

Like, I'm starting to realise I'm probably

not even good enough to make an actual living from it.

No, you are good though.

Yeah, and so are millions of others.

Do you know how many people are trying to be actors?

Like more than there are trying to be directors.

That's why it's so important to stay in the fight.

Yeah, but at some point you have to listen

to what the universe is telling you, you know?

You have to listen to the feedback.

What does that mean?

Well, there's only so many self-tapes you can send out

and not get any responses before you start realising

your self-tapes might not actually be that good.

Yeah, but self-tapes don't really showcase talent.

Like, in-person auditions are way better.

Yeah, but you still need a self-tape

to get an in-person audition.

Not that I've been wildly successful in those either.

Even you didn't put me in any of your films

and you were my boyfriend.

Alright, come on. I know a good spot for you.

What are you up to work-wise, if anything?

If anything?

Don't know, it just feels like

there are less people working nowadays.

Are there?

Yeah, 'cause of AI and stuff.

It feels like pretty soon

we're gonna be in a 'Ready Player One' scenario,

where everyone's just jacked into the VR world

'cause there's nothing left to do in the real world.

AI will be doing everything for us.

Somehow, I don't see that happening here.

Yeah, maybe small towns would be all right.

Still be able to buy coffee from a human.

That's where I come in.

Huh?

I work in a cafe.

Oh.

With my boyfriend.

Oh.

He's actually the manager.

I didn't know you had a boyfriend.

Mm.

How long have you been together?

Just over a year. It's been pretty nice actually.

He cooks for me a lot.

Is that a sly dig?

What do you mean? - 'Cause I didn't.

No, no, I'm just saying.

If I cooked for you, you would've broken up with me.

It would've been pesto pasta every night.

I like pesto pasta.

Can't go wrong with pesto pasta.

But yeah, it's been, it's been super chill.

We live quite a slow pace of life, you know.

Go to work and go home.

Wait, what? You live together?

Mm-hm. - That's quite quick, no?

I feel like we were going out for longer

and we never even talked about living together.

It just felt right.

And I guess it's different here.

For one, he actually owns the flat

so there's not the same renting here as there is in London.

Yeah, I guess.

I genuinely am happy to have gotten out of there though.

And, I mean, it gets boring here sometimes,

but at least people aren't rushing

around like maniacs, you know?

They're just living simply

and it feels more like what life should be like.

Are you not sick of it by now?

Huh? - London?

Oh, I mean, I play with the idea of leaving London,

but it never really materialises.

Like, I kind of fantasise about living on a farm

in the middle of nowhere sometimes.

But it's not something I'd actually do.

Truth is, London's addictive.

Oh, yeah, for sure.

I do hear what you're saying though.

Definitely doesn't feel like a good way to live.

Like, obviously there's loads to do in London,

but it's almost like it's too stimulating.

Yeah, it explains the addiction.

Yeah. - But no actually,

'cause you say that there's so much to do,

but you're missing out the part

that there's no time to actually do it,

'cause rent is so high that you end up working all the time.

And if you're like us, when you're not working,

you're doing something creative,

which is equally as exhausting.

And then after that, you're lucky if you have

enough time left to do your laundry.

I don't know, I feel like I have time to do nice things.

Yeah, but that's only now

that you've made some decent money.

I haven't made that much money.

Yeah, but still, you know what I mean.

Like, you're not in the struggle as much anymore.

Whereas when we were together, we literally did nothing.

Like, the most coupley thing we'd do together

was just watch films.

I enjoyed watching films with you.

Yeah, I enjoyed watching films with you as well.

But what I'm saying is that there's so many cool things

to do in London and we just did embarrassingly little.

Why don't we make up for that now?

What do you mean?

What's there to do in Kalocsa?

Not much.

There's gotta be something to do. It's not that small.

There's a Tesco. There's even a fucking Lidl.

Are you serious? - Deadly.

What about your location scout?

We can carry on with that later.

Really? - Yeah, let's call it a break.

Okay. Alright, come on.

Did I make you try chimney cake last time?

Don't think so.

Okay, we're getting chimney cake.

Do you like it? - Yeah.

Then again, I like everything.

True.

I think we're the only ones here.

A bit creepy isn't it?

It is a bit, yeah.

Do you still eat apple cores?

Yeah.

Such a weirdo.

- What are you doing? - You got crumbs on you.

No I don't. - Yeah, you do.

Where?

They're gone now, aren't they?

That's actually the cinema.

They don't show any big films though,

so I go to Budapest a lot to watch stuff.

I rate the commitment.

Thank you.

So in season, all of this would be paprika?

Mm, yeah. We're known for it.

We've even got a paprika museum.

Now I know why you were adding it to everything.

Well, you never complained about it.

Yeah, I like it. It's my favourite Pringles flavour.

Best one yet.

I'm so full.

Not gonna finish it?

Mm. No, I'd explode.

I'll have it if it's going.

Yeah, go for it.

I like how the break lasted until dinner.

Do we need to get back to it?

Nah, there's no rush.

You sure?

Yeah, there's always tomorrow as well.

Alright, I might just take a nap then.

What, here on the table?

Mm, or on the floor.

I don't even nap anymore you know.

Really? You used to love your naps.

Yeah, but it's so horrible when you wake up from them.

No, yeah. It takes a while to adjust to reality after.

Yeah, it's like the simulation wasn't ready for you

to wake up and it takes a while

to bring the world around you back into place.

Still in an existential crisis about the simulation?

Nah, I think turning 30 sured me up.

Really? I feel unstable as fuck.

Yeah, but you're not 30 yet.

I'm not far off and it already feels scary.

Like, I'm already feeling that pressure

to start thinking about having kids and all of that.

I still feel like a kid myself.

I quite like being 30 to be honest.

I quite like getting older generally.

I feel like every year I get older,

I get closer to being my truest self.

And when I was in my 20s,

I feel like I was so desperate to make something of myself

that I was never really enjoying life.

I was always thinking of the future

and never really living in the present.

But I feel like I've chilled out a bit more now.

Like, I find it easier to just go with the flow

and live in the moment.

But surely that's because you've already

had some success though.

Like, say right now you were still in the pursuit

of trying to become a professional director.

You would probably still feel just as desperate

as you did back in your 20s.

Yeah. - So I don't think

the feeling you're talking about is specific to being 30.

Yeah, you might be right actually.

You know, I often think it's a miracle

that there's always so many people just out and about

doing stuff at any given time.

Like, they're all just out in the world trying.

Do you kinda know what I mean?

Do you mean because life is generally like quite abrasive?

Yeah. - And there's this like

kind of constant pressure to just give up

and not do anything?

Exactly, and yet we defy that every single day.

I mean, obviously some people don't

and we all have bad days, but for the most part we do.

Can't you put that down to survival instinct though?

Because if we didn't do anything,

we'd just sort of wither and die.

Yeah, but we do more than just try and survive.

We're always trying to do better.

Like, make more money, make better art, make better stuff.

Just think of technological innovation, for example.

Still think that goes hand in hand with survival though,

'cause technological innovation has made

the population increase.

And the more of us there are,

the harder it is for us to go extinct.

Not if a big enough asteroid comes for us.

I think with current technology,

we've got a decent chance of stopping an asteroid.

What about the thousands of nukes on the planet?

Is that technology good for survival?

Well, obviously not-

There you go. - But technology is just

a tool really, it's the user that makes it good or bad.

So there's always two sides to it.

How could you use a nuke in a good way?

Just knock out an asteroid with it.

I feel like whatever that would do to the atmosphere

wouldn't end well for us.

Probably not. I hope there's no nuclear war.

What's annoying is that it wouldn't even just be us,

it would take out all the animals as well.

A lot of insects would survive, you know?

Supposedly they'd grow in size too.

There'd be locusts the size of birds and shit.

Yeah, no, no, fuck that.

I'm running towards the blast zone.

Oh wait, I thought of something.

What? - Nuclear fusion.

It can be used to make bombs, but it's also a process

that would allow us to have clean energy.

So I guess there's the two sides you're on about.

Is that the thing that made the atomic bomb,

nuclear fusion? - No, that was fission,

where you split atoms apart.

Fusion is where you force 'em together.

It's what Teller used for the hydrogen bomb.

Right, okay, that's what I'm thinking of.

It's also what happens in the sun.

Um, sorry, what was I saying?

The... Oh yeah, yeah, no.

Yeah, I just reckon that all of our technological innovation

is too complex to be the result of survival instinct.

Like, it all feels too complex to have come from nature.

But why though? Like, nature is complex.

And there's so much that we still don't understand.

And you just said fusion is what the sun does,

and the sun is nature.

I didn't think of that.

I guess everything's nature really.

Like, everything that exists in the physical universe,

you could call nature.

Yeah, exactly.

Like, everything out there in the rest of the universe

is made of the same stuff

that everything is made of down here.

Deep. - Oi.

No, I'm being serious. That's heavy.

It's all just the arrangement of molecules really, isn't it?

I'm surprised you don't think

it's too modern looking around here.

You can always paint stuff out in post.

It's done quite a lot in period pieces.

What?

Nothing. - No, go on.

No, it's just that I'm always in awe

of your film knowledge, you know so much.

Everyone who works in film knows that.

I don't mean that specifically though, just in general.

You're very committed to the craft.

Thank you, I think.

Yes, it's a compliment.

Can I take a photo?

Yeah, sure.

Are you thinking of trying to do

anything else other than acting?

What's wrong with working at a cafe

for the rest of my life? - Oh no, no, nothing.

I just mean like... I'm joking.

It'd be a pretty chill life to be fair,

especially around here.

Not like working at a fucking Starbucks

in Kings Cross or whatever.

Yeah, respect to them. I could not do that.

But seriously though, is there anything else

you've always wanted to do?

Well, after I've won my Oscar

for playing Elizabeth Báthory, I might go back to uni.

Yeah? - Mm.

Obviously, I only went to drama school

so I never got that kind of academic uni experience.

But I think I want that now.

What would you study?

Something around the environment maybe,

but I still need to look into it.

But even then it's like, what would I do after I graduated?

You know, I'd probably have to get some standard office job.

And considering I've never done one of those,

I feel like I'd struggle if I started now.

You could always just stay in academia forever.

You know, do a master's, PhD, then research.

I feel like a lot of people do that in our generation.

They're like career students.

I don't think I'm quite smart enough for a PhD.

Why not?

You're like one of the most intelligent people I know.

And anyway, as if university qualifications

are the only reflection of intelligence.

I know literal fucking idiots

who went to Oxford and Cambridge.

I feel like the smart ones are the ones

who just kind of stay in academia forever

and avoid the mundanity of the working world.

Well, if like you say AI replaces everyone,

then that mundanity won't be a problem anymore.

Yeah, but cue 100 more problems.

Are you worried at all,

in terms of like your filmmaking and stuff?

Not really, 'cause I feel like the AI stuff

will basically just be a different medium.

What do you mean?

Well, I reckon pretty soon,

it'll be quite common for some Hollywood films

to be made almost entirely by AI.

Like, AI will just generate all the actors,

all the locations, everything.

And even though these AI films might look just as real

as films made the normal way,

nothing would've actually been shot.

But if the end product looks the same

and is exhibited in the same way,

then why would you consider it a different medium?

Um, well, take this camera for example.

And let's pretend it's a film camera

instead of a digital camera

because that might make it a bit easier to understand.

If I were to take a photo,

like another photo of the lake right now,

the light rays would hit the water

and then reflect into the lens.

Like how it does with the human eye?

Yeah, exactly.

There's that intelligence I was on about.

Shut up.

The lens would then focus the light rays

onto a light sensitive piece of film in the camera.

And when I say light sensitive piece of film,

I'm talking about like the top layer of the film strip,

the emulsion, which is made up of these

like silver crystals basically.

They're the things that react chemically

with a liquid solution to create a negative.

It's the kind of thing you've probably seen in a movie

at some point where they like, I don't know,

dip a film strip in a bath or whatever.

But anyway, from a positive, a negative...

No, from a negative, a positive can be created,

which is essentially the image as it would've looked

when you first photographed it.

I thought you said you'd make it easier to understand.

You should see me trying to explain

how it works digitally.

Oh, please, no.

Basically what I'm saying is that when we make films now,

we're physically capturing light from the real world.

But these AI films, they're not gonna do that.

They're just gonna use code to generate images.

So like even if you had an AI video that looked

just as life-like or exactly the same

as a video captured by a film or digital camera,

what you'd be looking at is essentially something

that's virtually made rather than made in reality.

Like animation? - Yeah,

unless we're talking stop-motion or whatever.

But that's why I'm not really worried

because there's already a wide variety of mediums

used in filmmaking and I feel like the AI stuff

will just be another one.

And they'll all just coexist as they currently do.

Mm.

Unless these AI films become far, far superior

to normal live action films, then there could be issues.

But even then, I'm not that worried because I feel like

people will still wanna see human made films

just for like the physics of it.

The captured light, it kind of adds this

meta documentary feeling to the whole thing, you know?

It might just be like how theatre is now,

less popular than it once was,

but still loads of people interested in it.

Sorry, I've gone off on one.

No, no, again, I'm just in awe.

Liliána.

Who was that then?

An old friend from school.

How'd you recognise each other?

What'd you mean?

I thought you left here when you were like nine years old.

Yeah, but I'd still see her when I came back

for like summer holidays and stuff.

Oh, right.

It's crazy, she still lives in the same house

as she used to with her parents.

You were just living with your parents.

Yeah, but I think she's been there the whole time.

What's wrong with that?

Nothing, it's just the last time I saw her,

she seemed so desperate to get out of this place.

Maybe she still is.

Right, let's hear some poems then.

No.

If this ain't the right setting, what is?

See, it's perfect.

No, it's not happening, sorry.

Why not? Come on, please.

I don't really show 'em to anyone though.

They're all quite sad.

What's wrong with that?

I promise there'll be no judgement

on my part, I'm just curious.

Well, there's one I might be willing to show you.

Yeah?

Only 'cause it's one of the few not sad ones,

first one I ever wrote.

Obviously you've got to read it,

you can't just show it to me.

You didn't think I'd let you get away with that.

Worth a try.

Feels wrong reading poetry from a phone.

Or I could just read it in Hungarian,

you know? - All right, stop stalling.

Get on with it.

Okay.

You know I made a deal for a sunny day by the sea

and the universe did its part, there was music in my heart.

A name carved in stone, a long walk on the shore.

The stories I was told, the hand I got to hold.

The mischief on the sand dune no camera can capture.

The sun was on my skin to match the warmth within.

A scene from a film custom made for me,

sand beneath my feet, in my hair the wind.

The closer you held me, the safer I was.

If I let it, it would scare me. I can't believe my luck.

Wow, that was really fucking good.

I don't even like poems, but that was amazing.

And your first one too.

Thanks.

What's it called?

I don't name them.

Is it about me?

I'm not telling you who it's about.

Mischief on the sand dune.

I'm not saying anything.

I feel like it was more of a sand mound, really.

Well, see. It's not you then, is it?

If you say so.

You can't see it right now,

but the water here is actually a bit yellow.

Why is that?

I don't know, some people say

it's because of the nuclear power plant in the next town.

Like, there was a spill or something.

But people swim here, right? Don't they?

Yeah, there wasn't actually a spill.

People just say there was.

So the water's okay?

Yeah, yeah. It's clean and not just of nuclear waste.

It's generally clean.

Kind of wanna go in now.

Surely it's too cold.

I like that though, it'll wake me up.

Am I boring you that much?

Yeah, that's exactly what I meant.

I wish I had my swimming stuff with me.

You can always skinny did.

Oh, don't tempt me.

Not many people around.

You're around.

Nothing I haven't seen before.

I'll be back tomorrow to pick them up before you leave.

And don't forget to lock the door before you go to bed.

It's the one in the middle.

Right, well, good night.

Why did you do that?

It was such a nice day. Why did you have to ruin it?

What, no reason?

Just you being an idiot and not thinking these through?

You know, I knew I shouldn't have said yes

to this whole thing in the first place,

'cause a little part of me thought

you might do something stupid like this.

And yet you said yes anyway.

Oh fuck off, Dave. Don't try and put it back on me.

I'm not, I'm... You are though.

You're implying that I said yes

because I wanted something to happen.

But I don't, I'm happy with the way things are now.

Are you?

What's that supposed to mean?

Whatever, it doesn't matter. - No, go on.

It doesn't matter. - No, I wanna know.

Well, you said it yourself.

You wanna be an actor, that's your dream.

And yet you're living in a small town

with some guy who runs a cafe.

What's wrong with that?

Nothing, but it doesn't suit your personality.

If you were a successful actor,

I somehow doubt you'd be with him.

Oh what, because I'd be with someone

more extravagant, like a director?

Yeah, maybe.

Well, I was and you broke up with me.

Yeah, and that was a mistake.

For you maybe, but not for me,

because now I'm with someone who makes me their priority

and someone who actually appreciates me.

What do you mean? I appreciated you.

You never even cooked for me.

Fucking hell. Sorry I'm not a professional chef, Emília.

Well, it's not just that though.

Christ. - It's not just that.

- What else then? - You always put film stuff

before our relationship. - What are you talking about?

To be honest, that's probably why you made it

and I didn't 'cause you put career first

and I put you first. - No, that's not true.

What, you don't think I put you first?

No, I'm saying I didn't put career first.

Yes you did.

No I didn't.

Yes you did. - How?

You wouldn't even put me in any of your films.

Oh my days.

Would it really have been so hard?

I made like two fucking films when we were together.

It was three.

And they were short films as well.

- It was three. - All right, whatever, three.

It's not like there were loads of roles going.

If there was something I thought you were suited to,

obviously I would've given it to you.

How can you say I'm not suited to a role

if you haven't seen me try and act in that role?

Honestly though, like how can you say that?

That makes no sense.

Okay, so essentially you want to be a successful actor,

but not on merit, on nepotism instead?

Not on merit, sorry.

So you were lying earlier when you said I was good.

No, you are good, but it's not just about being good.

You've got to be lucky too.

What, lucky like my boyfriend

happening to be a fucking film director.

It doesn't get any luckier than that.

Why are you acting like

I was some big time director back then?

Do you really think that being in a couple of films

that no one has seen or ever will see

would have launched your Hollywood career?

Are you that naive?

Yeah, clearly.

Which is why I'm so happy to be away from all that now.

It's a fucking impossible rat race.

And yes, it gets boring here, very boring sometimes.

But having experienced both,

I'm far happier now than I ever was in London.

In lifestyle maybe, I get that.

But can you honestly say that you're happier

in your current relationship than you were with me?

Because regardless of what you say,

what we had was really strong.

What, you don't think so?

No, yeah, it was.

Okay, and is the feeling between you and your boyfriend

really stronger than the feeling that you had with me?

And please be honest.

If you say yeah and you're really being honest,

I'll accept it, I promise.

It's not, but it doesn't... Thank you.

But it doesn't have to be.

It's strong enough and it's good enough.

Sometimes you have to settle for something slightly less.

Chasing the best thing isn't always the best option.

And I know that because I did that with you

and I just ended up getting hurt.

So I'm sorry, there's no way I'm doing that to myself again.

I promised myself that I won't,

so forget about it.

When you broke up with me,

more than anything else, I was surprised.

Like, I was genuinely surprised.

One day everything was fine and then the next,

you were talking about our relationship

not being sustainable long-term

and without ever giving a specific reason why.

So what happened? What was the actual reason?

Other than me being a fucking idiot?

Insecurity mainly.

About what?

Before I tell you, can I ask you something quickly,

if you don't mind?

Why did you go along with it so easily?

Like, why didn't you put up

more of a fight to stay together?

Are you really trying to put it

back on me again? - Oh no, no, no, sorry.

I'm just genuinely curious.

Like, I think at the time I was a bit surprised

that you didn't resist it more.

Like, it sounds stupid, but I think I was half expecting you

to talk me out of it and then things would go back

to the way they were.

It's almost like I just needed to get a breakup attempt

out my system, but really I wanted us to stay together.

Why didn't you just tell me that?

It's not like we weren't still talking after we broke up.

I don't know, I guess it's kind of like I said,

I wanted it to come from you.

But why though?

Okay, so you might not believe me when I say this,

but the reason I didn't try and fight it

is because at the time I didn't wanna be a burden.

Like, I felt like you thought that being with me

was holding you back or something.

And I didn't wanna be the reason

that you didn't get to be where you wanted to be,

even if it wasn't what I wanted.

And I know it sounds silly, but my sense of self-worth

really wasn't great back then.

Like, I would always put other people's needs before my own.

It's fine now 'cause I finally managed to fix that

and make myself the priority.

But, yeah, that's honestly the reason

why I didn't try and resist it more.

I wanted to, but I imagined that by not, I was helping you.

Yeah, that makes sense.

Yeah?

Yeah, it doesn't surprise me at all.

Well, I guess I can't blame you

for putting your career first

when I was putting it first too.

Where do you think that comes from,

you always putting other people first?

Insecurity mainly.

When we first moved to England,

I couldn't speak any English obviously.

And whenever I did try to speak at school,

I just got taken the piss out of instantly.

So I just stayed quiet.

Like, I literally stayed quiet for a whole year.

I was just this weird mute kid with no friends.

I think I told you this before.

Yeah.

Yeah, after that year when I did finally start to speak,

it came with lots of people pleasing

because obviously I wanted to be liked more.

It became this sort of like defence mechanism.

And this isn't just me having a mad revelation

on the spot, by the way.

This is stuff that I've recently

worked out with a therapist.

But it's just annoying that it took so long.

Well, if it makes any difference,

I never once saw you as an obstacle to my filmmaking.

If anything, it was the total opposite.

You were always so supportive,

even though I wasn't giving you that same support back,

which I realise now and I'm sorry for.

But honestly, the confidence you gave me back then,

it really was a massive help.

And yet you only got to where you are now

after we broke up.

Yeah, 'cause I was so fucking unhappy, Emília.

Like, I had to distract myself somehow.

And that just took the form of putting everything into work,

but it was unhealthy.

Like, you know, the importance I placed

on like making it back then was really unhealthy.

It was like I was just trying to compensate

for this empty feeling that I had.

And yeah, you could say it was worth it because, you know,

now I get paid to do what I love,

which I'm extremely grateful for.

But I'm almost certain that I would've found

that same success if, you know, we'd stayed together.

It might have taken longer, yeah,

but it would've happened eventually.

And if I could go back and take the slow road,

I would because I'm still unhappy.

I still have that empty feeling.

Filmmaking hasn't been able to make up for that.

Do you want a drink?

I might have some of that pálinka now.

Yeah, for real this time?

What else is there?

Come have a look.

Ooh, there's unicum as well.

Do do you want some?

What are you having?

Gonna go for pálinka.

Alright, make it two.

Cheers.

Fucking hell, stronger than I remember it.

It's an unbranded bottle, so I think it's homemade,

which would make it stronger.

That moonshine shit.

Exactly.

So what was your insecurity then?

Huh?

I told you mine, your turn.

Oh.

Did you ever feel self-conscious

about having a black boyfriend?

No.

What, not even when you brought me back here

to a small Hungarian town with no black people in it?

Well, I was worried that you might feel

uncomfortable because of that.

That's why I said your brother could come.

Which was ridiculous, by the way.

Why would I bring my brother along

the first time I'm meeting your family?

Yeah, I'm sorry. I know, I overthought it.

But seriously though, like you never once felt worried

about, you know, introducing me to your family?

No.

Come on.

No, I'm being honest.

It wasn't something I was worried about.

Maybe I would've been if my family

were being funny about it.

But if anything, they were more like me

and worried that you might feel uncomfortable.

In fact, they wanted you to come sooner.

And the reason they thought you hadn't

was because you were scared of experiencing racism.

You don't have to believe me, but it's the truth.

No, I do believe you.

Well, ironically,

I did feel a bit self-conscious about you being white.

This might sound a bit stupid

and it might be a bit hard for you to understand,

but I just wanna be completely transparent here.

When we were together, I kind of felt judged

by other black people for having a white girlfriend.

And it wasn't just a you thing.

Like, I had the same feeling

with other relationships in the past.

I don't know, it just kind of feels like

you're letting the side down by not having

a black girlfriend or something.

Maybe I'm just imagining that 'cause obviously

loads of black people have white girlfriends.

And, I mean, my dad's black

and my mum's white, for fuck sake.

But maybe that kind of fed into it,

especially seeing as they got divorced.

And that wasn't the only thing.

It played a big part, but I think

I was also just afraid of committing.

Like, our relationship was the longest one I'd ever been in.

And after coming here and meeting your family,

I think I just sort of freaked out and panicked,

thinking like, is this it?

Am I tied down for life now?

Not that that would be a problem,

or at least now I know it wouldn't be a problem.

But at the time,

I just wasn't really looking at it right.

So yeah, those were the silly reasons

why I broke up with you basically.

You could have told me.

I didn't think you'd understand.

It's normal to worry about commitment, you know?

No, not about the commitment thing.

Just like the race stuff. - Oh.

But then, why would you need to understand?

I've got other people in my life for that.

My brother, my friends.

You don't need your partner to be everything.

And I'm sorry I was too stupid to realise that at the time.

No, you weren't being stupid.

No, I was, I was being really fucking stupid, Emília.

Embarrassingly so.

I should probably go.

Right.

I appreciate you opening up like that.

It couldn't have been easy

and I definitely needed to hear it, so thank you.

You probably had a different idea of how this was gonna go,

but the truth is, we're different people now.

And it probably wouldn't even be the same as it was before.

It felt the same today.

I'm sorry I didn't tell you I had a boyfriend.

I really should have, I just didn't want it to sound like

I was... I already knew.

What?

I knew you had a boyfriend.

I don't even need to be here, Emília.

I don't need to find locations for the film yet.

I just used it as an excuse to come and see you.

I didn't even go to Budapest.

I came straight here from the airport.

I haven't even booked my flight home yet.

It's been too painful watching from a distance.

I don't wanna do it anymore.