Original subtitles

We're the ladies of the chorus

Here to sing and dance for you

Our flirty flirty eyes will wink in your

direction We will throw you all a kiss

that's filled with sweet affection If you

keep applauding for us

will give a better show

a great big howdy do from the ladies of

the forest just for you

We're the ladies of the chorus

here to sing and dance for you.

Our 30-30 eyes will wink in your

direction. We will throw you all a kiss

that's filled with sweet affection if you

keep

Anita, what was that you were saying

about Al?When that guy takes you to

dinner, first thing you know, you're

shadow boxing. Oh, so he's no shadow.

Listen, baby, if you're a good girl, I'll

put you on a Broadway show. Oh, I suppose

he thinks that's a new angle. Millie, the

guy writes me a letter and he says he

wants to marry me. There's 2 can live as

cheaply as one, as long as one of us.

Well, what's the matter up there?Nothing,

only I'm the one that's working. So why's

that listen, wise guy?I don't like

anybody driving with one hand. So the

schmo takes his other hand off the wheel

and we crash into a tree. I wonder why my

girdle's getting so small. Dearie, maybe

you're crowding too much into it. My dogs

are killing it. Mine aren't too. I got a

date with a cab driver. Yeah, where are

you going?Who's going?We're parking.

There's no business like show business.

shut up. Would you help me, honey?Well,

look who's here. The star

herself. The queen of the quivers. Hi,

Bubbles. Plumbing Bubbles. It's so seldom

we're honored by a visit for the star.

Ain't you off the reservation, Dearie?

Maybe she's getting material for a book.

Oh, can she write?Turn blue.

Hi, Peg. Hello, Bubbles. Wanna go on a

date?Oh, he's a

swell guy. Crazy to meet you.

Oh, when are you gonna stop being tied to

your old lady's apron strings?Why don't

you let the kid go out and have some fun

before her hair turns as gray as yours?

I don't mind her going out, Bubbles, but

not with your particular kind of friends.

Of course, if she wants to go, it's all

right with me. But I don't think she

wants to go. Okay,

mother. I'll just get one of the others

to go along. Now, which one of you

ladies wants to go on a blind date?That's

for me. I'm

going to make some coffee. Would you like

some?No, thanks. How about some crackers

of milk?I don't think so.

What's the matter, honey?When are you

going to let me feel grown up?Letting you

go out with Bubbles the Rue and her men

friends. Would that make you feel grown

up?No, I don't mean those kind, but I

never go out with anyone. Do you feel

bitter about that?Not bitter, Mother.

Well, why should you want to go out on a

blind date with some middle-aged guy

who's probably married and has a family?

There you go, judging people, criticizing

them when you don't even know them. You

always do that, Mother. Look, darling,

I'm only... I'm sick of the idea of not

being able to go anywhere or do anything

without the written consent of my mother.

I'm tired of being treated like a child.

I'm going to bed.

No, if I gotta do one more show, I'm

gonna drop dead. I can't make it.

15 minutes. 15. Ed, shut

up. So I went out and that cab driver

forgot to park. He says to me, I'd like

to see your show, baby. How about a

couple of passes?The nerve. The guys I go

out with don't want passes. They just

make 'em. Speaking of passes, I've been

knocking down so many lately, I feel like

an all-American. Get a load of

them lilacs. Jerry, them ain't no

lilac. Of course not, those are

snapdragons. I heard they look good. Hi,

Pig. Hi, Bubbles. Like it?

It's lovely. You know, you could have

something like that, too. That party

still wants to meet you and he's awfully

generous. Why don't you go away and leave

Peggy alone?I'll speak for myself. Oh,

the voice of the turtle finally coming

out of your shell. Oh, go crawl back into

the woodwork. Why, you gray-haired old

hag. Shut your mouth or I'll slap it

shut. Oh, no you won't. Oh, no?

You, you! Hey, let go!

Hey,

what's going on there?Take it

out! Cut it out, will you?What do you

think this is?Madison's going to get

away with this?Just get her out of here,

that's all. Okay, okay. A fine

thing, fighting like a couple of alley

cats. What are you trying to do?Give

Burlesque a bad name?I'm not supposed to

think. I'm the stage manager. My job is

to get this show on. Now, beat it on

stage, all of you. Can't you hear the

overture?Come on, places, everybody. Come

on, now, fix your makeups and get up

there. Did you ever see anybody hurry you?

No, rush it.

Oh, you're waiting there.

You 2, get dressed.

What do you want me to do?Say, please?I

ain't one of your stooges. Okay, so

you're the big attraction with this

turkey and you get top billing. So if

you'd have stayed in your dressing room

and let these kids alone, there wouldn't

have been no trouble. So the show is

about to start. So get out there and get

dressed. Is that so?Well, I ain't going

out there. I'm quitting. Right now, this

minute, see?This turkey can fold for all

I care.

Hey!Maybe you can get that old hag to go

on to my place. Oh, she ought to kill him

with her corny wig and her bonescracking.

Oh, me. Joe, I'm sorry. Forget it.

Bubbles just walked up. Walked out?Yeah,

quit. That's tough. I want you to go on

and do a number. Me?sure you can still

go out there and knock the customers cold

like you used to but that was years ago

Joe let's face it yeah leave a space with

me the show must go on remember

okay it'll go on at a girl use Bubble's

dressing room the costumes are all inthere

what did Joe want Peggy you're going on a

bubble spot what what happened Bubble

just walked out good mother baby you know

the number backwards I'll have the

orchestra change the key and you can use

Bubble

Anyone can see I love

you Anyone

can see I care

The way I hold your hand and

smile in your direction Tell the

world my heart is filled with nothing but

affection Lock me in your

arms forever

That's the place I want to be

So anyone can see that I

belong to you and you belong

to me

That's class. Bubbles never did it like

that. That's too good for this turkey.

You put one over on me, May. Aren't you

glad?Yes, I am. And the kid

stays in that spot. Thanks, Joe.

Lock me in your arms

forever

That's the place I want to be

So anyone can see That

I belong to you And you belong

to me

Well, where are we taking my Cleveland

cousin tonight, Pete?It's all set. We're

going to see Peggy Martin. Excellent.

Who's Peggy Martin?She's the new darling

of Burlesque. Burlesque?Yeah. Have you

ever seen one?I can't say I have. Oh, you

haven't lived. Oh, well. Well,

let's live. Boy, Randy, we were going to

get you initiated. How about it, Pete?You

remember the way?Do I remember the way?

Boy, I ought to. I get my mail there.

It was cold

outside of Tiffany's I

was shivering in the storm

I walked in and asked

the gentlemanCould I

please keep warm

He asked me, how come a

baby doll Has no

coffee place to go

So I told that

kindly gentleman

a tale of war.

Every baby needs a dad, dad,

daddy to keep her worry

free.

Every baby needs a dad, dad,

daddy. But where's the one for

me?Rich

or poor, I don't care who.

If he hasn't got a million, then a

half will do. Every

baby needs a dad, dad, daddy.

Could my dad, daddy be you?

She's lovely, isn't she?Don't get any

ideas. Yeah, cousin, she's got a mother.

Yeah, everybody's got a mother. But her

mother's a one-man security council.

Right. She knocks off wolves like they

were clay pigeons. What'd you say?

Every baby needs a dad, dad, daddy Who's

silver in his hair

Every baby needs a dad, dad,

daddy Who has some gold to

spare Some

sweet salty who enjoys

Bring it home with baby little diamond

toys, ho ho Every baby needs a

dad, dad, daddy To my dad,

daddy be you

Every baby needs a deaf, deaf,

daddy. In case she runs a ground.

Every baby needs a deaf, deaf,

daddy. To keep her safe and

long. Yes, we feel just

like Red Brian's hood. 'Cause

the wolves are awful hungry in our

neighborhood. every

baby needs a dead dead daddy

good my dead daddy be you

good my dead daddy be you

Peggy yes mother need any help I

don't think so do you like my hair turn

around honey come in

for you Miss Martin thank you Mr. Gray

Oh, it's beautiful. From that bookmaker

again?No, I don't think so. He sends

Violet.

Thank you for a most enjoyable evening.

Who is it?There's no name. No name?

Well, that's strange. I wonder who it

could be. Oh, probably some politician

who's bashful or married.

for you, Miss Martin. Thank you, Mr.

Gray. You'll soon be known as the Orchid

Lady.

To a charming young lady.

Would love to meet you.

Peggy, another one. Whoever he

is, he certainly is going to the Orchid

Market.

What does he say this time?An ardent

admirer. Hmm, another orchid. He must

be a florist. Are you sure you never met

him?No, but I'd like to. Just to see what

kind of a character he is. Oh, he's

probably very dull. Well, darling, I've

got some shopping to do. I'll see you at

the apartment. Okay, mother.

Florist.

Oh, can I help?you yes I think so

something for yourself cocktail party

opera beautiful orchid oh the one on the

box that's an order oh I've just got to

tell this you know that that fella comes

in here every evening and sends one of

them orchids to his girl a real good

customer I'll say him good-looking too he

should be here any minute this in the

hotel he comes in every evening around

6:00 without fail pays cash has it sent

and never signed his name to the card how

strange and

youhe sends it to Peggy Martin the

burlesque Queen over at the Rome theater

no so help me can you

imagine sending all them orchids to a

burlesque Queen no

telling about a man's taste I always say

well dearie have you made-up your mind

what kind of flowers you want oh let me

see oh carnation okay

one dozen two dozen one will do one

dozen no no just one carnation

That'll be ten cents, please. Thank you.

Want me to put it in a box for you?No,

thank you. I'll take it like this.

Good afternoon. Good afternoon. Nice day,

wasn't it?Very nice day. Yes, it was.

You'll be sure to send this right away,

won't you?Wouldn't you rather deliver it

in person?No, thanks. I...

Miss Martin. Yes.

Well, aren't you going to give me the

orchid?The orchid. Oh, yes, yes, the

orchid. Thank you.

Thank you. And your name's still not on

the card?It's Randy. It's Randy

what?It's Randy what?Oh, Randy

Carroll. Nice to meet you, Mr. Carroll.

Thank you. I've been planning for a week

what I'd say when I met you. And what did

you decide?I... I hadn't

decided yet. Miss Martin,

I... Oh. Miss Martin?

Yes, Mr. Carroll?Would you go to dinner

with me?I'd love to. Oh, so

would I. Oh.

They're dead out there tonight, girls.

Come on now, let's wake them up.

Peggy!

Joe, has Peggy come in yet?I ain't seen

her, me. I wonder what happened to her.

She couldn't even go home to dinner. What?

She's on stage in 15 minutes.

Sorry, Joe. Step on it. You're

practically on. I'll make it.

Peggy, where were you?I waited till six

and then had dinner at the cafeteria. I

phoned home a little after six, and oh,

mother, it's the most wonderful time. And

he isn't a character or wolf at all. He's

a perfect gentleman. You should have seen

the expression on his face when he saw

me. Who are you talking about?

Randy Carroll. And who was Randy Carroll?

He's the fellow that's been sending me

all those orchids, and he's anxious to

meet you. You're on, Miss Martin. Coming,

Joe. I'll tell you all about it later,

mother.

Would you please tell Miss Martin that

Randy Carroll's waiting?Yes, sir.

Say, Dad, are you the one that delivers

the flowers to Miss Martin?Thanks.

Are you the one that sends them?

Must be expensive. Oh, not...

Oh, well, yes, they are.

You've been a big help to me. So haveyou.

Then we had dinner and he asked me if he

could see me tonight after the show, and

I said he could. Is that all right,

Mother?Come in?

Mr. Carroll to see you, Miss Martin.

Well, tell him I'll be right out. Yes,

ma'am. Oh, Greg.

Please have Mr. Carroll come in.

yeah you said he was

anxious to meet me yes he is

well all right then

won't you come in hello

hello

Oh Randy I want you to meet somebody yeah

mother this is Randy Carroll mother

how do you doSo glad to know you, eh?I

hope it's all right. Am I coming in

here, I mean?Of course it's all

right. It's the first time I've ever been

backstage. You're not disappointed. Oh,

no, it's wonderful.

Mother, Randy... I mean, Mr. Carroll

wants me to code the Waldorf for us

tonight. Yes, will you...

will you join us?No, thanks. You two run

along and have a good time. I won't be

late. Good night, Mrs. Martin. Good

night. Are you sure you won't

join us?Well,

good night.

Good night.

Shall we dance?I'd love to.

Lock me in your arms

forever

That's the place I want to be

So anyone can see that

I belong to you and you belong

to me.

Anyone can see I love

you. Anyone

can see I care.

The way I hold your hand and

smile in your direction tells

the world my heart is filled with nothing

but affection.

Don't stop, go on. Why don't you sing the

rest?Me?

Uh-huh. I don't think I know all the

words. Well, then make up some of your

own.

Okay, I'll try.

Anyone can see, I love

you. You know how much I care, the

way I hold your hand. smile in

your direction

tells the world my heart is filled

with nothing but affection

Mother. Mother. Why aren't you in

bed?Oh, I was reading. I must have dozed

off. You know what time it is?Now, what

time is it?It's after three. Oh, good

heaven. Well, did you have a good time,

dear?Oh, wonderful. Where'd you go?Club

embassy. Oh, that's nice. Well, I

guess I'll go to bed. Mother. Yes, dear?

I... I want

to talk to you. You want to keep till

morning?No.

It's about Randy.

What about Randy?He...

Peggy, he... What are you

trying to say?He asked me to

marry him.

Oh, what did you say?I told him he'd have

to get your consent. And what did he say

to that?He's going to ask you tomorrow.

Oh, you will say yes, won't you, mother?

And if I don't, I suppose you'll marry

him anyway. I don't know.

I hadn't thought about that. Let's go

to bed, darling. We'll talk about him in

morning.

Hello, Mrs. Martin. Hello, Randy. Come

in. Thank you.

I suppose you know why I'm here. Yes, I

know. Peggy told me that you asked to

marry you. That's right. And you want my

consent?Very much. You're

a fine boy, Randy. I like you. And

Peggy loves you. Then it's all right.

Well, just a minute. I haven't finished.

I have no objections to you, Randy. I'm

sure you know that. And I want Peggy to

marry the man she loves. Usually, that's

all that matters when two people in love

and want to get married. Sometimes there

are other things to be considered. What

could be more important than that Peggy

and I love each other?

I'll try to explain. Peggy doesn't

belong in your world. She belongs in the

show world. Burlesque. Burlesque queen,

that's what people call her. What

difference does that make?You don't care.

But what about your mother and your

friends?What will they say when you bring

a burlesque girl home and introduces your

wife?They'd better say it's wonderful.

And how do you think Peggy will feel when

she's snub by them?And when she sees that

your mother's ashamed of her?Peggy's

happiness means everything in the world

to me, Randy. And to me, Mrs. Martin.

I'll make her happy. I'm sure you

would. It were entirely up to you.

Look, if my friends won't accept Peggy,

then I don't want them as friends. And if

your mother won't accept her?That's

impossible. You don't know mother. She'll

love Peggy just as I do.

Another young man said the same thing.

Who was that?Peggy's father.

Oh. And what happened?

Well, I was just about Peggy's age.

Very much in love. He was a fine,

handsome boy. Alan Wakeley, the

Boston Wakeleys. I was the

happiest girl in the world.

Got a man, got a man

What a man

Sweet as any man

could be

Got a man, got a man

What a man

Are you wondering

who he can be?

I'm so crazy for you

Oh, so crazy for you

When we kiss, can't you

tell?My heart's

dizzy running 'round a padded cell

I'm so wild about you

Baby, what'll I

do Got the shivers,

got the shakes Cut it out,

for goodness sake

I'm so crazy for you

Adorable, adorable you

.

.

Ain't he the persistent one?That's Alan

Wakeley, you dope. He's made steady. Oh,

is that who he is?Get this.

Hey, Mr. Wakeley, ain't you got no home?

Sure, I have, but May doesn't live there

yet. Not bad. Quick on the trigger.

Hello, Alan. Oh, you look beautiful, May.

Thank you. You know, one of these days

you're gonna throw this into deep center

field. Oh, no. Not with my control.

Oh, hey, how about my fielding average?

Where'll it be tonight, Delmonico's or

the Plaza?That little nook at

Delmonico's. That's an idea. I've never

proposed to you there, have I?And please,

not tonight, Alan. I just don't

understand you, Mae. You say you love me,

and yet you won't marry me. It doesn't

make sense. I'm sorry. But look, Mae,

your reasons for not marrying me. Must we

go to all but again. Darling, I've told

you a thousand times. I don't give a rap

what my friends think. If they won't

accept you, then they can go to blazes.

As for my mother, well, you just don't

know her. She'll love you as much as I

do. I refused, Alan, that night, and many

nights after that. But he just wouldn't

give up. There were dances and

dinners and flowers. I couldn't have been

happier. But always it was the same thing

until finally I... So you agreed to marry

him?Yes.

I'll never forget that night. It was the

night that Billy McKay and I broke in the

new act.

I bet you didn't think I was gonna show

up, huh?Did you see a big

blonde?A

big blonde came down and said,

There's a big party upstairs.

Everybody see you and dance.

You're two beautiful kids. So I

joined the party. But there

always has to be a

wise guy in every party.

And I was one of them guys in this

party. He

made a few

unnecessary

remarks.

I want to see you right after this scene.

I want to see you too.

Who is it?It's me, Billy. Come on in.

Ah, the scene went great, May. You know,

I got something to ask you and tonight's

tonight. Billy, congratulate me. Well,

you're congratulated. What for?I'm

getting married. Married?Uh-huh. Well,

what do you know?I'm leaving the show

Saturday night. Wakely?Yes.

Well, I wish you luck. Only, I don't

know. I'm afraid. Oil and water don't

mix. Oh, Billy, I think I know what you

mean, but Alan and I will work it out.

Yeah, sure, you'll work it out. You know,

I never told you, but not that it'll make

any difference. But I've been in love

with you for a long time myself. You're a

swell guy. Yeah. Well, if it

don't work out, of course it's gonna work

out. Oh, what do you want to tell me,

Billy?Oh, uh, gee, I forgot

what it was. Couldn't have been very

important, huh?See you. Oh,

closing night, we'll give you a swell

party. I'll be the headwaiter, I'll

arrange everything. I'm so lucky

for you

So you see, Randy, I was warned. But

somehow I felt that everything would be

all right. Alan insisted on getting

married first and tell his mother

afterwards. He wanted it to be a

surprise. And what a

surprise it was. I was

very happy those first few weeks in the

home of Alan's parents. Everyone treated

me like a queen. Until they found out I

was a queen. A burlesque queen.

Alan's mother was furious and his friends

were horrified. There were terrible

scenes after that. When I couldn't stand

it any longer, I slipped out of the house

one night and left Boston. And what

happened to Alan?His father sent him off

to Europe and had the marriage annulled.

And you never tried to get in touch with

him?I had no reason to.

Then what did you do?What could I do?

I went back to the only thing I knew.

Burlesque. Is the doctor still in

there?Yes. Doc, how is she?It's all

right. Nothing to worry about. Of course,

she should not be working. What's wrong

with her?Nothing wrong with her. She's

going to be a mother, that's all. A

mother?You mean right now?Not right

this minute. Well, what do you know?

Peggy was born four months later. For a

long time, we lived in theater dressing

rooms. As soon as she was old enough, I

put her in school. And I continued on

in burlesque. But not as its queen.

I became just one of the ladies of the

chorus.

Who?

Oh, Billy, it's so good to see you. I was

out front watching you. Kitten, you're

still the cutest. How do you feel, Mae?

I'm fine. Do you look wonderful?Oh, I

feel good, too. What are you doing here

with the season on?Is the show closed?No,

the show's playing Boston this week. You

weren't laid off. No, I quit. Look, let's

get out of here. You quit?Yeah, this

traffic is like Grand Central Station.

But you can't afford to. You're not as

young as you used to be, you know. Oh, I

don't know. Besides, I got a few

simoleons stashed away. It's like this. I

got a letter from Peggy. She's graduating

from high school. Yes, Billy, she is.

Well, it wouldn't be an

honest-to-goodness graduation without

your old Uncle Billy, would it?So here I

am. Same old Billy. Come it

on, Ray. You embarrass me in front of all

these people. Oh, I got a little present

for Peggy's graduation. You think she'll

like it?Oh, it's beautiful. She'll love

it. Oh, but Billy, you shouldn't have

done it. You can't afford it. Oh, it's

nothing. It's a little thing I bought a

long time ago. Peggy,

remember?Well, that's about all there is.

After graduation, Peggy insisted on going

to work, and she managed to get in the

same chorus with me. That was her way of

helping out. So you see, Randy,

the marriage you proposed for Peggy

didn't work out in my case. And it won't

in yours. You're wrong. People are

different today. They're more

broad-minded about such things. Mother

will accept Peggy for what she is. It

won't work. Mrs. Martin, I hope you'll

forgive me for saying this. But you have

a mother complex.

I'll consent to the marriage. On one

condition. Yes?What is it?

That you tell your mother you're going to

marry Peggy Martin, a burlesque queen.

I don't want you to misunderstand me. I

agree that your experience wasn't a happy

one. But I do think you're being very

short-sighted to inject your bitterness

into Peggy's future. I'll tell Mother.

That was always my intention. Good day,

Mrs. Martin.

Yes?It's me, Mother. May I come in?Well,

yes, dear. Come in.

Well, what are you doing up so early?

Couldn't sleep. Something on your mind?

Something you didn't tell me last night?

Yes, and it's... it's

very important.

Randy, you're in love.

How did you know?It's very simple. You're

just like your father. Every time he had

anything on his mind, it was sure to be

written on his face. Okay, you win. Well,

anyhow, she... Don't tell me. Let me

guess. Hazel Langley. No.

Mertis Rogers?No, no. And Crawford?No,

it's none of them, Mother. It's... No.

Well, then who is it?Peggy. Peggy Martin.

Oh, the Boston Martins. No, just plain

Martin, Mother. No social position. But

does it make any difference as long as

Peggy and I love each other?She's

wonderful, and so is her Mother. Well,

can't you tell me something of their

background?Background?I'll...

I want you to meet them first, and when

you get to know them, I'll tell you all

about their background. All right, dear,

if that's the way you want it. Why not

invite them here to spend a couple of

weeks with us?Oh, Mom, you always say the

right thing. I loved you. You know,

you're a doll. Uh-huh.

Sure you've got everything?Just a few

little things left in the bedroom.

Uncle Ben!How's my little gal?Hi, Annie.

It's wonderful to see you. We were afraid

you wouldn't make it. I got your call, so

what's to do?You folks going someplace?

We're going to visit Randy's mother.

She's invited us. Isn't it wonderful?You

sure is, honey. We're leaving on the 210

train. Uncle Billy, I'm the happiest girl

in the world. You'd better start thinking

about coming to Cleveland to give the

bride away. You bet I will. I gotta

finish packing, Uncle Billy. Well, I sure

hope this works out. It will, Billy.

Randy has told his mother we're from

burlesque. Burlesque?Seems I've heard of

that. This must be the place.

Yes. We've lived in Cleveland all our

lives. My husband started his business

here. Of course, he had branch offices in

New York and Chicago and Los Angeles. We

saw a great deal of those cities and

Europe too. I suppose you're a native New

Yorker. Oh, yes. What was your

husband's business?

A brokerage mother. Oh, really?Yes, he

was a Boston man. Oh, we have some very

dear friends in Boston. Do you know the

Drummonds by any chance?No,

Mrs. Carroll. Or the Peter Milners?

No. What schools did you attend, my dear?

Well, Mrs. Carroll, I... Excuse me, my

dear. Mrs. Bruce is on the telephone. Oh,

will you excuse me?

Randy, you didn't keep your promise. No,

I didn't. But why, after I made it

perfectly clear?Well, maybe I should

have, but I thought I'd tell Mother after

she got to know you. Give her a chance to

see for herself what kind of people you

are. It was a mistake not to tell her. I

don't think so. Maybe Randy's right,

Mother. I

hope so. Oh, I almost forgot. The gang's

over at Roger Clark's. I want them to

meet Peggy. Why, of course, dear. I know

how anxious your friends are to see,

Peggy. Yes, they are. Come on, honey. See

you later. Don't be late for dinner. We

won't. We're going over to the

Brewster's tonight to have a few hours of

bridge. You do play bridge, don't you?

Oh, I'm afraid not. I could never get

interested in it. That's perfectly all

right, my dear. There's always a little

game of poker for those who are allergic

to bridge.

Hi there, stranger. Hi. Seems to me

I know you from someplace. Oh, yes.

You're my mother. I believe that's it.

Oh, it's so nice running into you again.

Oh, mothers like that sort of thing. We

should see each other more often. Maybe

have lunch together someday. Well, I'll

consult my datebook. Oh, I know you're

awfully tied up, but... Yes, but one must

consider one's mother, you know. True.

How true. Shall I see you at the dog show?

I'll be the third Airedale from the left.

We don't get to see each other much these

days, do we, dear?No, we don't. I've been

seeing Randy constantly. Me socializing

along with his mother. Gosh, the way she

gets around makes my head dizzy. The

Brewsters, the Lindsays, the cocktail

parties and the bridge. It's like playing

one-night stands. It's exciting, though.

Meeting all these nice people and feeling

you can be a part of them. Makes you

happy, doesn't it, darling?Yes, but I

only hope if it isn't all a dream and

that someday I'll wake up and...

Who is it?Randy, are you still up?Yes,

Mother, come in.

Hi, Shaun, save it a few moments.

Sit down, dear. This must be pretty

important. It is. It's

about Peggy. Peggy?

It is time we discussed it.

Yes. I... I was going to tell you

I... I mean Peggy's engagement party.

Engagement party?Oh, the

engagement party. What do you think I

meant?Oh, I thought that... well,

maybe you... I don't know. Well, if being

in love affects you like that, perhaps

you'd better remain a bachelor. Oh, now,

wait a minute. Don't get any ideas like

that. But honestly, I hadn't given a

thought to the party. Men never do. Well,

why should I worry about such things when

I've got a mother like you who does?Calm

down, dear, and listen to me. Madam, you

have my undivided attention, which

includes listening. Well, we'll give the

party here. We'll get an orchestra

and some entertainment. You

know, you're the only son I have.

Salisbury?Oh,

Salisbury. Have the decorators

arrived yet?No, madam. I beg pardon, Mrs.

Carroll. Mrs. Windrift on the phone. Oh,

dear, and she'll talk for an hour. Well,

here. You take this and arrange the room

according to my diagram. And when the

decorators do arrive, tell them I suggest

the orchestra be placed... well, there,

in the alcove.

Yes?Well, how do you

do?Who are you?

I'm Ripper. You do?

I mean, you are. I'm the decorator.

There's supposed

to be three of you. That's right. But

there's another man coming, sir. That'll

only make two. You see, I

brought Junior along to help me.

Say hello to the gentlemen, Junior. Well,

how will you do?

Come in.

This way, friends.

You see, we're a little short of health.

You are very short of health.

All the carpets are to be up. There are

chairs to place against the walls. There

are more chairs coming. The piano goes in

the alcohol. The floors must be wet.

Now, I was just wondering if it wouldn't

be better to... Let's not

dribble, dribble. Not dribble,

ripple. All right, we're ready.

All right, we're ready. Okay.

Well, let's go. You know what to do.

That must be the other man. That must be

the other man!

Hello. Is this the Carroll residence?Yes,

come in. Don't just stand there. There's

work to be done. Well, is this where the

engagement party for Miss Mark is being

held?Yes, yes. Come in. Let's start work.

But I don't think you understand. I

understand perfectly. This way, please.

This way, please.

Ripple is here. Looks like I'm here.

Uncle Billy, I'm

so happy to hear you. Hello, Peggy. How

are you?I am A. Hello, Billy. Mrs.

Carroll, I want you to meet Mr. McKay.

How do you do?How do you do?I'll have

Salisbury look out for you. Salisbury.

Randy, this is Uncle Billy. Glad to know

you. I heard a lot about you. I heard a

lot about you too, Randy. Will you show

Mr. McKay to his room?He's not here yet,

madam. Salisbury, this is Mr. McKay.

Mr. McKee. This way, please.

Oh, Mr. and Mrs. Windrift. I want you to

meet my son's fiance, Miss Peggy Martin.

And Mrs. Martin. Oh, and I don't

want you to miss this trio call. Let's

all go in.

When the jungle moon

is shining bright

High in the sky above

The strangest noises

Till the night

When you bang these

Light their love

When they speak of love and passion,

their lips beat in rhythmic fashion. All

you hear is clackity clop, clop, chop,

chop. Even if they whisper honey, what

comes out is loud and funny. All you hear

is clackity clop, clop, chop, chop.

Though it's loud enough when Johnny

whispers to his chain. Just imagine what

it sounds like down in lover's lane.

Altogether love's expression, sounds like

drummers in jam session. All you hear is

clackity clop, clop, chop, chop, boogie,

bop, bop. Ba la la la la la la la la

la la la la

la la la la.

Oh, just imagine waiting for a sweet and

tender sigh Then you'll hear a bop, bop,

with a strange reply Love is definitely

no wonder Every kiss comes on like

thunder All you hear is cracking and

clop, clop, clop, clop, clop, clop, clop,

clop, clop, clop, clop,

clop, clop, clop,

clop, clop, clop, clop, clop,

clop, clop, clop, clop,

clop, clop, clop, clop,

clop, clop, clop, clop,

Hey, Bobby, that's Peggy Martin. Hello,

Peggy. Hello, Bobby. How about a

song?Folks, you all know

Peggy Martin, Queen of Burlesque. Let's

get her to sing a song. Did he say

burlesque?That's what he said. Burlesque

Queen. I am surprised. Imagine Randy

getting mixed up with a girl like that.

And Randy tell his mother?No. Gee,

I'm sorry, Mr. Carroll.

It's Randy. Randy, please leave us alone.

But I want to talk to Peggy. She'll see

you later. Randy should have told his

mother. You were right. And so was Uncle

Billy. Yes, darling. Uncle Billy was

right. Both times.

Where's Peggy?Inside. She won't talk to

me. She'll talk to me.

Please, Randy. It's not Randy, it's Mrs.

Carroll. Please, open the door.

Well, where do you think you're going?

Home where we belong. That's ridiculous.

Ridiculous, after what's happened?So you

want to run away because a few

narrow-minded people object to the way

you've been earning your own living.

You'd be willing to give up the man you

love everything without a fight?Just what

are you driving at?Running away would

only make things worse. Peggy would be

bitter and frustrated for the rest of her

life. Now, our children love each other

and want to get married. Does anything

else matter?I should have told you. I

promised Peggy and her mother I would.

Well, you didn't. Not that it would have

made much difference anyway. Randy, take

Peggy and her mother downstairs. Well,

what about your friends?I'll take care of

my friends. Hurry up now. Hurry, Randy.

You know, Mrs. Carroll, I like the way

you talk. Thank you.

Honey, it's like an opening night. Just

keep smiling and it'll keep themguessing.

Well, this is it, Billy.

Attention, attention. Quiet, everybody.

We're going right on with the

entertainment. But first I want you to

meet Mr. McKay, who will accompany the

next number.

Boys, I'll start it, and you kind of

sneak in.

A gal I knew loved wedding chimes

So she got married many times

At 60, she ran out of men So

she married the first one over again

You're never too old to do what you did

You're never too old to feel like a kid

Your back may be bent, your hair may be

gray But you're never too old 'til you're

put away Away

Away, away Where everything

is exquisite Away,

away Where

relatives seldom visit

A gal I knew was young and sweet

And all she liked to do was eat

Today she does a circus act She's so

round and so firm and so fully packed

You're never too old to do what you need

You're never too old to feel like a kid.

Your knees may be weak, you may have the

gout But you're never too old 'til

they strike you out Way

out, way out Where

no one is sour or solemn Way

out, way out For they have

no society column

At 25, Marie Lamar

became a famous burlesque star.

At 50, she could wave a hip that

would make a whole crew abandon a ship.

You're never too old to do what you did

You're never too old to feel like a kid

You may need a cane and wear a toupee But

you're never too old 'til you're put

away

Away, away Where

everything is okay

Thank you. Thank you so much. It's

really more than I deserve after all

these years. I suppose you're

saying to yourselves, Well, not bad for

an amateur. But I have a confession to

make. I'm not really an amateur at

all. I was also a lady of the

chorus. Can you imagine?

Adele Carroll, a chorus girl. Yes,

isn't it exciting?

I hope I haven't shocked you, my friends.

Oh, now I know. It's wonderful.

Well, shall we have some more dancing?

Mother, you are wonderful. I didn't know

you were on the stage. What shows were

you with?She wasn't. She was never on the

stage in her life. What?No, that was just

her idea to make Peggy and Randy happy.

But you shocked your friends. They can

take a little shock now and then. Do 'em

good.

By the way, a double wedding of mother

and daughter really would shock them. You

know, you're never too old to do what you

did.

.