Original subtitles

- Okay, I got here as quick as I could. - Not quick enough.

Seven minutes, 34 seconds. Nine seconds slower than last time.

So, there's no gluten-free soy cake?

- Well, there was. Nine seconds ago. - But I'm so hungry.

Well, now that you've worked up an appetite, let's grab lunch.

- I'll buy. - You? Buy?

But my birthday's not for another month.

- I knew that. - You did not.

I did not.

But I'm treating to celebrate your singledom.

- Thank you. - And, got you gift.

Oh...

My driver's license?

You renewed it.

- How did you renew it? - Well, let's just say,

it's one of the perks of being the mayor.

Sarah Cunningham. You changed my name back.

Well, your maiden name suits you better.

- Hamoudi was too ''ethnic-y." - Well, I appreciate the thought,

but I have been Sarah Hamoudi for most of my life.

- I... I can't just change... - Too late.

I already changed it legally.

And I gave you a new middle name.

- Danger. - This is dangler.

- Well. - What's wrong with my face?

Well, it's not that there's anything wrong with it necessarily.

It's just sometimes I just wanna smack it.

Oh, you mean... Yeah, well, it's airbrushed

and your lips have been graphically plumped.

You never know when you have to hand it to a hot cop.

That's so strange seeing my old name.

Like hearing a recording of your voice. You've got to embrace it.

Sarah Cunningham, Cunningham, my voice does sound weird.

Who is this Sarah Cunningham?

Good question.

Cunningham was Sara's maiden name.

I will pretend to care.

- Well, it as a nice ring to it. - Thanks, Rev.

- Yeah. - Astaghfirullah, Cunningham.

Why would you want a name with the word ham in it?

And Ham-oudi was better?

- You just blew me. - Away, Baber, away.

- Pretty well. I'll go away. - No, the...

So, who are you,

Sarah Cunningham?

I have been single for so long. I know I used to be quite the riot.

Ha. I mean...

- Ha! Sorry, just keeps coming up that way. - I was a wild child in high school.

Correction. I was wild. You were a child.

Remember I played Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz.

No, I played Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz.

You were an understudy for the Wicked Witch of the East.

Well, how about when I snuck into Jimmy Snow's party and got so wasted?

Again, me. You held my hair while I ralphed on Jimmy's dog.

- I must have done something wild. - Yeah, you were friends with me.

- Poppy. - Yes. Dr. Hamoudi.

Do you have the charts for today's appointments?

They're right here, along with the new lab results.

Great.

Some of the patients are putting their cell phone in the home phone section.

- Okay. - It's clearly marked.

I guess I'll just have to quietly stare at them

while they fill out their forms.

Great.

Excuse me.

- Oh, my. - You had an apple at lunch?

- I did. - I went to the farmer's market

and I bought you a bushel of each kind.

Bushel?

Thank you.

Very much.

Perhaps with a name change,

Sarah Cunningham will consider coming back to Team Anglican.

- Never. - Well, why not?

She's welcome back to the flock.

She may be a white sheep in a brown flock,

but she will not be eaten by a white wolf in Christian clothing.

- It's Sarah's choice now, no? - And she'd choose Islam.

- Not after I'm done talking to her. - I'll talk to her first.

- I'm the Imam. - Yeah?

- Wait, why are we running? - I don't know, but I'm going to win.

I know I was fun and awesome.

There is a photo of me winning Queen of Wheat in here somewhere.

This one?

"Ann Popowicz wins Queen of Wheat three years in a row."

There I am, standing right next to you.

I lived through you.

Have I always been so lame?

Well, I wouldn't say lame, more like...

- Lame. - I was lame?

I was going to say boring, but it seemed too exciting.

Hi, Sarah. Got a minute?

Not now boys. It's girl time, not God time.

There were so many fun things I was gonna do and didn't.

- Like? - Like kiss Matthew Wilde

when I had the chance. Just be more fun and flirty.

So what's stopping you now?

Nothing.

Nothing at all.

All signs point to the flu.

Let's take a look at your throat. Open up, say, "Ah."

Ah. Ah.

Good afternoon.

Poppy, what are you doing?

Afternoon tea.

It's British.

Don't pay any attention to me.

Act like I'm not even here.

Oh, that looks infected.

Let's take another look.

- Ah. - Ah.

Apple slice?

- No. - Your hands are busy.

Just open up and say, "Ah."

What? No.

Okay. Later. I'll leave it here for you.

- Thank you. - You're welcome.

I'm sorry.

She's so nice.

Yeah.

AMAAR: She does sound nuts.

I guess so.

I just don't know what it is about her that drives me crazy.

Okay. Why did Dr. Connor hire her?

He lost a bet. They're related. He was Craigslist.

I don't know. The point is, I inherited her and I wish I could fire her.

But it's not like she's incompetent.

- Okay. Want my advice? - You must miss giving advice

- now that you're not Imam. - I might.

- Why? - Well, you did go on a little bit

about leave-in conditioner' benefits this morning.

And you will notice the difference in texture and shine.

It shimmers, like goat hair.

Okay, I better go back to work.

- Sounds like you need to fire Poppy. - No, I can't fire her.

- Why not? You're the boss. - She's got seven hungry mouths to feed.

Sure they're all cats, but I'd feel terrible.

Well, you'd feel terrible for good reason.

- Your heart is actually trying to... Oh! - Here, eat these.

Come and get your flu shot. Something's going around.

Aren't these to keep the doctor away?

WAITRESS: No outside food!

BABER: Stupid Ann.

- Really had some good stuff for Sarah. - I know. Me too.

- What do you have? - You first.

Wasn't gonna open with us, but Christmas would be a big one.

I know you'd play the Christmas card.

No, we don't play them. We send them.

I always said I hate those little lights,

but they are pretty.

They are. Yeah. You should use them for your little celebration thing.

- Oh, Eid. - Eid, yes.

- That'd be lovely. - Yeah.

Hey. You know what I like about Eid?

- What? - Nothing.

It's Eid-iotic.

But I do like to eat the little doughnuts in the bowl of jelly.

- Gulab Jamun. - Yes, Malab Manon.

- Maybe one day I'll make you Gulab Jamun. - Maybe one day I'll lend you my lights.

- King me. - "King Me," I'll never bow to you.

Doctor's out momentarily on a house call.

Please take seat if you're here for the flu shot.

Hi, Poppy. I'm Amaar, Dr. Hamoudi's husband.

Oh.

I know who you are.

I recognize your well-conditioned hair from the picture on Dr. Hamoudi's desk.

Thank you.

- You should be in commercials. - Oh, no. Really?

So, how did you know it was me?

Well, you work here. So I...

It's true. I do work here.

You are a funny little kitten.

I haven't laughed like that in years.

So glad you had the time to pop by the office.

I have missed so much by being a goody two-shoes.

And by saying things like goody two-shoes.

- No more gloomy Hamoudi. - Atta girl.

I am going to have fun.

Seize the day, grab the bull by the horns.

And I know just where to take you.

Oh. Girls' night.

We'll go to Odena's hot spot.

I thought that Odena's hotspot was Mercy.

Well, it is. But there's a flu going around.

And I don't want to catch the germies.

Can't blame a girl for trying.

- Okay, then. - No.

So, he was cute. How'd it go?

I asked for his number 'cause I lost mine.

Tell me you didn't say that.

Then I also asked him if his father was a baker.

- No, you didn't. - Because his buns are hot.

- You used pickup lines? - I panicked.

- It always worked on me in high school. - Everything worked on you in high school.

It's okay. You're just rusty.

Just be loose and friendly.

Loose and friendly.

- Keep them coming. - Just a Diet Cola for me, please.

Okay, loose and friendly, loose and friendly.

Hi, I am loose and I am friendly.

Okay. You don't say it. You just act it.

Okay, don't lose the momentum. You go, tiger.

Hi, you're a guy, right?

He's a boy.

- Ann. - What?

Apple slice?

- Poppy, can we have a chat? - Sure.

I've worked in my fair share of high powered offices.

Well, this is hardly a high powered office,

but I do what I can.

I've worked with people who don't know

how to gauge their boss's comfort level.

Do I make Dr. Hamoudi uncomfortable? Did she send you here to tell me?

No. But you must realize it's a little awkward.

- You think I'm socially awkward? - No.

Well, yes. But that's not what I was trying to say.

It's just with your sing-songy voice.

- And you sometimes creep in... - So, I'm just some sing-songy creep?

Well, I'm sorry.

I hear you loud and clear.

I'm fired.

No, that's not what...

Okay, we're running out of targets.

My mother told me not to talk to strangers.

Maybe we just go roller skating.

No more drinks. I'll take your keys.

We're fine. Shoo!

Hmm. Maybe your mother had it right.

Don't talk to strangers.

That's silly. How can I flirt with someone if I don't talk to them?

Look, clearly that step isn't working for you, so let's just skip it.

- And what? - I don't know.

Give them a smooch.

I can't kiss a total stranger.

It's only a kiss.

I haven't kissed anyone but Yasir in 30 years.

Ew. Why?

Oh, never mind. Just do it now. Just break free.

- Well, if it is so easy, you do it. - Okay. Hey.

See? Done.

Hey! Hit the road, Jack.

Wow.

Okay.

Got him. Wish me luck.

Poppy. I need a flu vaccine count.

We'll stay open for people to come, get their shots.

Apple slice?

- Amaar, where's Poppy? - Emotionally in her childhood.

Physically, she's probably somewhere crying over apple slices.

- What did you do? - I may have accidentally fired her.

This is my clinic. You can't come in here and fire people.

But, that's what you wanted.

Not now. I have a waiting room full of people. I need Poppy.

It'll be fine. You know what they say? A couple that works together...

Fights together.

Dr. Hamoudi's office, how may I... Hang on, take a deep breath.

Okay? How can I help you?

Oh, you sure you don't want to remove that yourself?

RAYYAN: Amaar?

What are you doing?

- Please hold. - You hung up on him.

Okay, these are the files for room one and two.

These are the test results for the lab.

This is the "Miss you" card from the patients for Poppy.

This one's not for you.

I could give it to you.

- Just don't tell them it was me. - I don't wanna sign it.

Actually, I advise you to sign it 'cause you got a bad rap for firing her.

They really love her.

Since you're so good at making decisions for me,

what should I do about Ms. Melnik's cough, Mr. Peter's fever

and Mr. Wing's debilitating fear of needles.

What do you suggest?

I suggest I get some coffee.

That's the best decision you've made all day.

- Hi. - Hi.

Okay. That was a kiss.

Hello up there.

Oh, boy.

Bastard.

Svetlana, I don't know who she is,

- I don't wanna hear it. - I...

- Did I ask you to talk? - No, but...

- Hi, Svetlana, is it? - I want to hear from you less.

I'm really, really sorry I kissed your boyfriend.

It was juvenile and gross. I mean, his kiss wasn't gross.

Actually, it was soft and gentle.

- But, but me kissing him, that was gross. - Nobody kisses my boyfriend but me.

No, you're right. Good rule.

Excellent rule.

Time to throw down.

- I suggest you order a strong drink. - I don't drink.

You should. It'll hurt less.

My goodness.

WILLIAM: It's hungry work, winning back souls for Jesus.

All I could find in the kitchen were tortillas.

I believe it's pronounced tortillas.

- Find any salsa or guacamole? - No, there is only jam.

Oh.

- Did you bring it? - You bet.

You bet.

No, no, no, no, no. I don't bet, I'm Muslim.

Oh. Nice. Gambling.

Gonna add that to the list of how to win Sarah back.

Okay. I will add,

"Never have to worry about losing money to a gambling addiction."

No, you can't write that.

- Why not? - Because they, they cancel each other out.

No, just cross it out.

- Okay. What else do you have? - Well, let's start with airline security.

- Ann. - Quick, double.

- Really? - Now.

So, Cunningham, released your inner minx yet?

No, no, no, no. There's a woman over there who's gonna kill my inner minx

and then skin it and wear it like a scarf.

Nice. I've never been in a bar fight before.

- We've got to get out of here. - No, we can't, Sarah.

- Why not? - Because the bartender drinks I'm thunk.

And he cooked my tar keys away.

I'm not drunk.

- I've always hated about you. - You mean we're stuck here?

- Yeah. Funny. - No, it's not fun.

You go get those keys. They're back there.

Okay, Sarah, you leave it on me.

You leave it to me.

- I'll get those hunky... - Hurry up.

- Yeah. - Be careful.

That's okay, because the car keys are...

He said I made the doctor uncomfortable.

Can you believe that?

- Me? - Why are you touching me?

I only asked how you were doing out of courtesy.

Sounds like someone needs some loving hugs.

Poppy.

I know you're upset and I'm sorry.

- Shouldn't have called you oversensitive. - You didn't call me that.

You called me socially awkward before you fired me.

- I didn't it. - You did.

- You left before I had a... - To fire me.

- I have some pride. - Look, you left

- before I could say... - That I smell like kitty litter.

Any more insults, Mr. Rickles?

Look, I said too much.

That's what got me into this mess.

I don't get it.

I overstepped my boundaries with Rayyan.

I can't fire you.

Say no more.

I accept my job back.

- You know, I didn't exactly rehire you. - You didn't exactly fire me either.

Now I'm really in trouble.

Okay, yes. Cross that one out, too.

Okay. I have the "She can eat pork".

- Why would Sarah want to eat pork? - Bacon?

I have "Can't eat pork" on my list.

All right, fine. Great.

I have "You'll stand out from the other whities".

No. Because I have "She can finally fit in with those around her."

So...

All right. Last one, salvation through...

- Repentance. - Jesus Christ.

- Not Jesus. - Jesus.

- Not Jesus. - Jesus.

- Not Jesus. - Jesus.

- Jesus Not. - There's no way around that one.

Well, clearly our little exchange ends here.

- Clearly. - Yeah.

- I think it's best you be leaving. - This is my office.

Right, fine.

Wait, tomorrow, I'll bring Parcheesi.

And I will bring the nacho cheesy.

Every time you say that, it's not funny.

Keys, keys, looking for keys.

Hello, handsome.

We can work this out.

Why doesn't anyone just talk anymore?

Because I'm a farm girl. I can communicate good.

- Well. - Well. What?

No. Communicate well.

Well, I'm about to communicate my fist into your head.

No, there's no reason to resort to violence.

Let's just be mature.

So, now I'm immature.

Well, you're the one who kissed my boyfriend.

Ann, keys?

Hello, have you met? Ann's our best friend.

Fight! Fight!

Hey, can you talk to her?

There's no fighting allowed in the bar, right?

No, I'm cool. As long as you pay for anything to break.

Ain't nothing gonna break except your pretty face.

Ann, Ann, Ann!

Fight, fight.

- Fight, fight. - Fight, fight.

We're not gonna fight, are we?

You're serious. I am the underdog here. Why is nobody rooting for the underdog?

Okay, look, I just got divorced after 30 years of marriage.

I'm fine, but I'm trying to start a new life.

I just, I just want to have a little fun for a change.

I did not mean any harm.

Please. I'm sorry.

Okay, let it go.

You're not the trashy skank I thought you were.

I'm not.

You know, I'm really glad we talked this out.

Me too.

I went through a bad divorce a few years back.

You'll heal.

Looky here.

Sarah, I found the keys.

You drive.

I didn't do that.

Her bad.

Fight, fight.

Last patient today.

- That wasn't so bad, was it, Mr. Wing? - No.

Dr. Hamoudi's office. Poppy speaking.

Can I see you in my office for a second?

Well, is the rash just on your palms?

I'm really sorry that I yelled at you.

But now you've gone and brought Poppy back and made another decision for me.

I was just trying to undo what I did do, so...

But I didn't ask you to do or undo anything.

I was trying to sort out my thoughts.

You have to let me vent without taking over.

I know I messed up,

but look,

I'm sorry.

Well, that's okay.

I knew that you were a compulsive problem solver.

And I knew that you were patient and forgiving

when I married you.

Now you're just sucking up.

- Is it working? - I don't know.

- You tell me. - Ah!

Go get your lollipop.

Poppy, can I see you in here for a second?

Coming. I heard everything. There's no need to apologize.

Well, I wasn't going to apologize actually.

I was just...

Tea time.

Sucker.

Yes, I am.

I really am.

Well, we almost made it.

Lesson learned. I guess.

I learned how to have one of the best nights of my life.

- What? - I can't wait to go back there next week.

Not that bar. We're banned, but.

Ann, I can't do it again next weekend.

Fine, the weekend after.

No, it's not me.

I know, kid. Mama tried.

Did you give the grabby lady her job back?

- I'm going to let Rayyan answer that. - I did.

Amaar was right. The patients love Poppy,

and I talked to her about the whole personal space thing.

Well, you know what I say about personal space.

Overrated.

Yeah.

What a wild night.

Yeah. I can't believe I kissed that guy with the psycho girlfriend.

- That was me. - And then I had to fight her.

- Again, me. - What did I do?

You're friends with me.

Wild.