Original subtitles

You know what I saw yesterday?

The silhouette of a woman's knee.

How did you control yourself?

You must inform your Muslim sisters. No pants in the mosque.

I would love to

if there was anything in the Quran about women and pants.

I'm sorry. I do not listen to women in pants.

Baber, men like you are exactly why women have to wear burqas.

Oh, I listen to women in burqas because you're silent. Learn from them.

That is so...

Come on now, calm down.

Yes, Rayyan, calm down. Let the men speak.

Amaar, how can you tell me to calm down?

- I was not talking to you... - Exactly.

He was talking to the other man. That is how men speak:

rationally, calmly and first.

Thanks for the help.

- Rayyan, I was... - But he did not help you.

Okay, Baber, I'm sure we can find a way to solve this.

Oh, yes! The way you solved me out of my radio show.

Or the way you solved your way

into silencing the conservative voice of this mosque?

Maybe we need to solve you all the way back to Toronto.

Yikes! Looks like your congregants are all up in arms.

Which wouldn't be a bad thing, but you know, Muslims, arms, boom.

Hmm. Don't worry them. It's always like this.

It is just a balancing act.

A balancing act?

Well, let's hope something doesn't tip the balance.

- As-Salaam-Alaikum, Baber. - Wa-Alaikum-Salaam, Sarah.

What a nice day, Sarah.

So good to see you, Sarah.

Thanks, Baber. Nice to see you, too.

Okay, what just happened?

Baber is giving me the silent treatment.

You are lucky. How do I get in on that?

It's not as good as it sounds. Since I got him kicked off the radio,

he's been working up his conservative buddies.

Don't worry. You're not alone.

I know, that's the hard part.

Rayyan wants me to take him on and she's right.

But the timing's not good. This could get out of hand.

Oh, no. The chili cook-off. I forgot it was coming up.

Chili cook-off, of course. You guys have won that since forever.

But never without Yasir.

Yasir is the chef. I'm his ladle caddie.

- You're not going to enter? - Oh, I have to.

The Hamoudis have a title to defend.

I just have to find the right partner.

You could use Ann.

Oh, no, no, no, no.

You have to find somebody who really knows how to cook.

Someone who has lived chili, breathed chili, is chili.

You need someone in two days.

I'll ask Ann.

Well, lookie here.

If it isn't the pastor of Mercy's most popular house of worship.

- I'm surprised you noticed. - Are you kidding me?

Used to be I could stretch out in a pew during mass and catch some Z's.

Yeah, I anticipate the day when it's too packed for you to get in, Fred.

- Yeah. - Yeah.

Your tea, Reverend.

Oh, Fatima, you are sweeter than, well, this honey.

- And you are a lovely man... - Mm.

...Who speaks inappropriately.

Do not let it happen again.

Oh.

Mashallah, that is what I call a modest Muslim woman.

Why? Because she doesn't wear pants?

Do not even get me started on pants.

Sorry. The last thing I wanted to do is get you worked up.

Too late! Pants are un-Islamic, un-womanly and un-modest.

You've done all you can.

True. I have talked and I have talked until Amaar is blue in the ears.

It's too bad that you can't, I don't know,

make a rule banning pants on women.

Shows what you know. I am on the board. We make the rules.

We say, "Jump," they say, "How high?"

We say, "Be quiet," and they keep jumping in total silence.

Hmm. Well, it sounds like you'll have Amaar jumping in no time.

I have just had a very good idea.

No thanks to you.

No thanks necessary.

Hey, Ann!

Uh, I have a favor to ask you as my nearest and dearest personal friend.

No chili cook-off.

I haven't even asked yet!

- Sorry. Go ahead. - Will you be my partner in the cook-off?

- Sure. - Really?

No! Obviously. I just said I wouldn't.

- Can I ask another question? - I'm not gonna reconsider.

- Well, just let me ask. - Fine.

- Would you reconsider? - Sure.

- Really? - No!

It is not going to happen.

Never ever will I ever be your partner in any chili cook-off.

Well, well, well.

- Hamoudi. - Tupper.

That time of year again. Chili time.

Oh, big words from a man with a trophy case full of silver medals.

That's all going to change, toots.

Thanks to this.

My aunt's famous chili recipe.

She swore she'd take it to the grave with her.

Luckily, I own a shovel.

Kidding.

With this little baby, I'm going to kick your Muslim butt this year.

Oh, we'll just see about that.

Yasir's ladle caddie is going to take me on solo?

Actually, she's got a partner.

Chicks cooking chili?

Now I have seen everything.

Ann, you're the best.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's just do this thing.

Oh, no. Here they come.

Look, Baber is making ridiculous demands, and I don't know what to do.

Amaar, Amaar, relax, relax, relax.

Whenever someone asks for something I can't follow through,

just say, "I'll look into it."

Like when I asked you about the money you owe me?

I am looking into that.

Look, these are complicated, interpersonal conflicts.

They're about culture, faith.

They're not going to get solved by saying, "I'll look into it."

Amaar, we must speak.

I cannot stop thinking of women's clothing.

You and me both.

You stay out. The true believers are talking.

Either you will enforce a dress code or I shall go to the board and they will.

- Baber... - No ladies pants in the mosque!

You are with us or the highway.

- Uh... - Yes, yes, yes.

Even I know that was wrong, but I was on a roll. Hmm.

Amaar?

Baber, I...

I...

I'll look into it?

Excellent. That went much better than I thought it would.

It worked.

Now, about that money you owe me.

Check's in the mail.

If we're going to win this, we have to walk in with a pot of chili

that will blow their socks off.

How hard can it be?

We have the award winning Hamoudi recipe. We need to follow it to the letter.

Which is exactly what we'll do.

- Huh. - What's the problem?

Yasir's handwriting is terrible.

Okay.

Ooh-yous.

You grab the ooh-yous, finely rinsed.

Let me see that.

- It says "minced" and... - Oh.

- ...Ooh-yous. - Oh, onions!

- Ah. Yeah. Yeah. - Oh, this is fun, it is like a puzzle

where thousands of things can go wrong.

Okay.

I will show Fred that I can do just fine without Yasir.

Sugar.

Uh, check.

When he gets a load of my chili,

he will never call me a ladle caddie again.

- Cinnamon? - Check.

What the hell are we making?

- Chili - With cinnamon and sugar?

I'm pretty sure. Wait a minute.

Oh. Let's start over.

I'll chop up the ooh-yous.

Oh, no. Move over.

Okay, I'll need pinto beans. I'll need red peppers.

Let mama show you a thing or two about making chili.

Do you know how?

Just the beans and the peppers.

That is why I only know a thing or two.

Aah! I turned it on.

Amaar? I need to talk to you.

Rayyan, I was expecting you.

I'm sorry I took out my frustration on Baber with you.

Oh, you are.

- Hi, Rayyan. - It's just that it makes me so mad

when men manipulate Islam to justify sexist behavior.

- Like banning pants on women. - Right.

- But I know you'd never let him do that. - Right.

- Hi, Rayyan. - I've been thinking,

maybe this would not happen if women taught a halaqa class.

Oh.

- What an, um, interesting idea. - Yeah.

If men are the only ones teaching the lessons of the Quran,

how are things going to change?

And can you imagine the look on Baber's face?

I sure can.

- Hi, Rayyan. - Lucky for me,

you are not the type of imam who is afraid of conservative wing nuts.

Not me. Certainly not.

Exactly. And you always do the right thing.

Which is why I know that you'll stand up for the rights of the women in this mosque

like you have done countless times before.

I'll look into it.

I knew I could count on you.

Bye, Rayyan.

Man, so good to talk to her.

- Really? - No.

No, no, no, honey, it's going great.

I'll have that medal framed by the time you get back.

- How is it coming? - Really, really badly.

Okay, one question.

We're just having a little trouble reading your recipe.

So, when you say "two pounds of chick," did you mean chickpeas or chicken?

Really? And "chuck" is what exactly?

That's...

He says it's some kind of beef.

What? Oh, nothing, nothing.

All right, honey. I love you. Bye.

Didn't you hear me? He said "chuck."

It was already open.

Okay, is this basil, bubbles or pickle?

Don't worry, I threw in my guess.

So, gherkin is wrong you're saying.

Okay, let's bring on the bubbles.

Amaar said he'd look into it?

- Wonderful. - Change is finally on its way.

And I am this close to teaching halaqa.

- Amaar said so? - He said he'd look into it.

- Wonderful. - I know.

"I'll look into it."

Uh, Fatima, about my bill,

I had coffee, not tea.

Yes, but the price is the same, so it is easier this way.

I have to write fewer letters.

What if someone wanted the correct order?

I would say, "Get out, Reverend."

"Get out, Reverend"?

You are the only one that ever asks.

Why don't you just say, "I'll look into it"?

It is what some people say when they don't want to say no.

Rayyan. Baber.

You both look furious.

"I'll look into it"?

Is it true that this phrase means absolutely nothing?

Well, I'm not so sure about...

Look, I can explain.

Check's in the mail?

And then?

And then Amaar said, "The check is in the mail."

We will put his check in the mail.

- You mean pay him? - Of course not.

Interesting.

What do you mean?

Your idea to stop paying Amaar.

But if we stop paying him, he won't be our imam.

Right. And if he was not your imam...

Then we would not have to pay him.

Yes, yes, I do have a degree in economics. I know this.

I think what he is saying is if he doesn't do what we ask as a board,

we could threaten to stop paying him!

Ah, I see.

But then why would he be our imam?

He wouldn't be.

Look, all I'm saying is... May I?

All I'm saying is it's interesting, your idea.

Yes, my idea.

Walk me through my idea one more time.

Faisal is little bit slow.

Hey.

You must listen to us or to pay the ultimate price,

which is no pay at all.

- What? - The board has voted.

No pants for women.

Look, everyone here dresses modestly. It Is unreasonable...

Reason is my middle name.

Actually, it is Razim, but it's still pretty close.

I'm not going along with this.

You have to. The board has spoken.

And in case you forget, you work for us.

That is completely

true.

What can I get you?

Today's special is chili.

We also have a vegetarian special.

- What's that? - Chili with no meat.

It costs more because I have to pick out the meat.

I know. Tough choice.

I will give you a moment.

Sarah, I know this means the world to you, but I think we're...

What's the word?

- Doomed? - Yeah.

Maybe we still have a chance.

And the turnout for the cook-off is always so low,

maybe our luck will change.

From bad to worse. Take a look at that sign-up sheet.

Where did all those signatures come from?

Oh, the church.

Reverend Thorne put it in the bulletin.

And we are going to kick some keister with my recipe.

And my fresh ingredients.

- Hamoudi. - Tupper.

Can't wait for the judge to taste your chili-con-crappy.

Get it? 'Cause your chili isn't good?

Unlike my dead aunt's recipe.

Don't be too sure, Fred.

My recipe is good. It's very good.

When you taste how good, you're going to say,

"Wow, this is good."

Strong words, Hamoudi.

Strong repetitive words.

Guess I'll see you on the field of battle then, huh?

What are we going to do?

Relax and get ready to win.

But our chili is terrible.

Let's just say I have a good feeling.

Good feeling? Why do you have...

You stole Fred's recipe.

And stuck him with Yasir's illegible one.

Good luck finding ooh-yous this time of year.

I can't wait to see Tupper's face

when we win this competition fair and square.

With the recipe we stole?

You're not going to let that go, are you?

Okay, maybe it'll be fine.

Maybe the ladies won't notice.

You outlawed pants?

You let them outlaw pants?

Pants outlawed?

Wow.

- Well, when in Rome. - Nate, keep your pants on.

- Rayyan, you know me. - I thought I did.

I'm on your side. The board voted.

But it's not right.

It's not right.

But the board makes the rules, and apparently they are against pants.

So, they push you and you just fold.

Rayyan, I report to them, not the other way around.

I'm disappointed in you.

Ah, I'm starting to feel really guilty.

I can't believe we stole Fred's recipe.

And then bought the ingredients, and then made it,

and then brought it here with us, and then entered it.

You think we could win?

Mmm.

His aunt was a genius. I really should steal more of her stuff.

Oh, this is wrong. I want to win, but not like this.

So, looks like it's just gonna be you and me, short stack.

As it should be. Mano-a-womano.

And let me say...

That I don't stand a chance without Yasir?

No, no. Although, yeah.

What I wanted to say was I enjoyed competing with you these past five years.

Hate to admit it, but you've pushed me to become a better cook.

- Oh. - So, you know,

- thanks. - Oh.

We need to tell Fred we stole his chili recipe.

And give him ours? No way.

Cheating on an election is one thing. But cheating at chili?

Town would never forgive me.

What a beautiful sign.

It is beautiful. It is written in the language of the Quran.

And it clearly says no women in trousers in the mosque.

As clear as clear could be.

- I wish I read Arabic. - Me, too.

Salaam, fellas.

How dare you dress like that? Can't you read Arabic?

Can you read Arabic?

That is so not the point, but...

No matter. A rule is a rule.

And we all know what rules were made for.

What? You can't...

You are the imam.

What are you going to do about this...

...this very bad thing, hmm?

There's only one thing I can do.

Start my sermon.

As-Salaam-Alaikum, everyone.

Wa-Alaikum-Salaam.

Brother Baber, please be seated.

Okay, you distract Fred, and I'll swap his chili with ours.

- What are you doing? - Kissing my dignity goodbye.

Oh, who am I kidding? It's been gone since '83.

God, that was a good year.

So, Fred.

Aah.

We never talk anymore.

Did we ever?

So, Fred,

has anyone ever told you you've got

beautiful eyes?

Has anyone ever not told me?

Oh, it's a curse, toots,

but, these baby blues are limpid sapphires glimmering in the night.

If you say so.

Wait a minute. I know what is going on.

You do?

- You're falling into the Fred. - Oh, dear God!

I mean,

maybe I am.

Well, I'm flattered, Annie,

but you should probably walk away.

I'm like extra spicy chili, baby.

You play with the Freddie, you get burned.

Well, I...

- Just... - Hey, what...

- Thief! Thief! - Fred, wait. I can explain!

- Explain what? - Well...

- How you were going mad with jealousy? - No! Fred!

- Oh, now, that is good. - And hot.

And how.

Thank you for being the best partner I could ever ask for.

But how could we lose? The recipe we gave Fred was terrible.

No, the handwriting was terrible.

The recipe was great. Oh.

Hello, honey.

Well, good news. Yeah, your recipe won again.

Now, for the bad news.

We weren't using it. I'm sorry, we lost.

Really? Oh, me, too.

Okay, I'll call you later. Bye.

Disappointed?

Only because he misses me.

I guess it's more about who you cook with than what you cook.

Ah, that's so corny, I could puke.

Or I'm having a reaction to the chili.

Oh, dear.

There you are.

So, why did you not say anything?

About what?

Rayyan.

In pants, on the wrong side of the barrier.

Hey, look, here is what I saw.

I saw devout Muslims praying together.

It was a heartwarming sight.

You're not going to do anything?

I'm an imam, not a cop.

The committee can pass all the rules they want.

It's not my job to enforce them.

Can you believe that?

I must say, I admire Amaar. Standing up for what he believes.

Oh, I do not.

He should stand up for what we believe.

What is the point of having rules if he is not going to enforce them?

Well, he is an idealist.

He will do what he thinks is right, no matter the consequence.

Very well. Then we will show him exactly what the consequences are.

- Come. - If you must.

As-Salaam-Alaikum.

Wa-Alaikum-Salaam.

The board has met and made a decision.

A decision that concerns you.

- I know. - You do not know.

I have not even said it yet. But I will say it.

- The thing I will say is... - "You're fired."

No, you do not fire me. I fire you. You are fired.

Which is what you meant.

Yes, Amaar. You are fired.